Good morning. Today is the fourth day of our five-day session. where we sit from five in the morning till sometime after nine in the evening for five days. Yesterday during my talk, when I answer to the monk's question, why did Bodhidharma come from the West?

[01:06]

And Kiran said, sitting long and getting tired. So today I'm going to talk about this koan. But first I'm going to read the introduction by Master Engo and then Satcho's verse on the case. So Engo introducing the case says, Cutting through nails and breaking steel, for the first time one can be If you keep away from arrows and evade swords, you will be a failure in Zen.

[02:14]

As for the subtle point where no probe can be inserted, that may be set aside for a while. But when the foaming waves wash the sky, what will you do with yourself then? See the following. the main subject. A monk asked Kyo Rin, what is the meaning of Bodhidharma's coming from the West? Kyo Rin said, sitting long, getting tired. And then Setso in his verse says, one, two and tens of hundreds of thousands. Take off the muzzle and set down the load. If you turn left, right, following another's lead, I would strike you as Shikko struck Ryutetsuma. I'll come to that at the end. In the Tang Dynasty, this was a very famous question, well-known question,

[03:24]

and actually it started out as a question asked by the members of other Buddhist schools. When Zen started gaining popularity in China as Chan this question came up but meaning what is the essence of Zen and there are various answers, a lot of different answers. So it's this question and various recorded responses by various Masters The answers are all obtuse, meaning, what a stupid question.

[04:35]

So Master Engo introducing this koan says, cutting through nails and breaking steel for the first time one can be called master of the first principle. First principle is of course ultimate truth. the reality factor, not the idea. So cutting through nails and breaking steel kind of means through the hard work of practice. one comes to be able to express the first principle not so easy because we're so easily deluded and our first principle is clouded over.

[05:57]

As a child, one reason that we love babies and children is because they reveal the first principle Whenever a baby comes by in the supermarket, all the women immediately flock to the baby. Oh, what a beautiful baby. That's because the baby is shining out all this pure essence without any blockage. And we were all rejuvenated by watching the baby. When you see a birth, it's the most wonderful thing. To watch a birth is, you know, lifts you out of yourself completely. And then for the first year, you carry the baby around and the baby throws up on your shoulder, you know, and it's really cute.

[07:01]

And your clothes are all filthy, you know, and poop's in your hand. But it's all wonderful and pure, you know, so we don't really mind. But as they get older, you know, their poop stinks. and we don't like to throw up, you know, that doesn't feel good either. And then they start arguing with you. But later we make some effort to get back to this purity and it's called practice. So the mature Zen master has the same qualities, maybe similar qualities to the newborn baby, the mature Zen student, but it's different, not the same. You can't become the child again, but you have the qualities of that purity, but they're hard won.

[08:12]

So one has to win those back. that's the effort of our life. It's like we have at least three stages in our life. One is original purity and then there's original defilement. No, defilement is not Although in Buddhism often it's said that you're born with, because of your karma, you have certain characteristics that you're born with because of your previous karma. Whether that's so or not, I can't say, but it's interesting that everyone is born then those characteristics become developed upon meeting conditions in the world and so the second stage is meeting conditions and forming the personality which is called

[09:30]

The reason why it's called defilement is because meeting conditions we fall into duality, we fall into dualistic thinking and dualistic thinking becomes our mode, that's the defilement. It's not a matter of so much of good and bad, it's a matter of And then through practice one finds that non-dualistic unity again, but that's the work. This sitting long getting tired also can be translated as sitting long is hard work. Sitting long is a lot of hard work.

[10:40]

That's another way to translate. So the hard work is chewing nails and biting through iron, so to speak. I remember my aunt was a tough old And she lived in Los Angeles. And we think of violins as being very sweet, but she was very tough. In those days, this was in the 30s, she could never get into the Los Angeles Philharmonic because she was a woman. So she was always ranting and raving about it. And she used, I won't tell you the term she used to complain about the hierarchy.

[11:44]

But she used to say to me, she said, your father and I can chew through nails, expressing how tough they were. And they were, they were really tough. Something like, we live on chewing through nails, you know, eating nails. So then he says, if you keep away from arrows and evade swords, you will be a failure in Zen. In other words, if you don't face the problems in front of you, you cannot be successful in your practice. is a big, very important point. It's okay to complain, you know, it's okay to kvetch or whatever, but as for practice, you have to

[13:00]

really penetrate. You can't let yourself be turned away. When we hit a wall, the tendency is to find a way around the wall. The tendency is to find a blockage and then take some way downhill. But in Zen, you hit the wall and then you have to bore through the wall. You can't get around the wall. You can't go over the wall. You can't dig under the wall. You have to go through the wall. And the wall looks like it's made out of iron or concrete, but actually it's just like a piece of paper. And if you know how, you just walk through it. because you yourself are the wall.

[14:03]

There's no obstacle out there that's bigger than you. So when we come up against a problem in Zen, in our practice, we always have to look here for the source of the problem. As soon as we start looking out there for the source of the problem, that's evading the problem. You never find it that way. you never get through that way. So even though, you know, the sixth ancestor in his poem says, you shouldn't find fault. Even if someone else is in the wrong, even if someone else is perceived to be in the wrong, you shouldn't find fault. You should always look to yourself I see so many people frowning.

[15:07]

Wait a minute. Zen is a radical practice. Say that again, slowly. Self-hate. No, self-hate. Oh, yeah, don't hate yourself. Don't hate anybody. Why hate anything? Hate? That's a wall. That's a barrier. That's coming up against the wall, exactly. How do you get through the barrier of hate? How do you get through the barrier of ill will? That's a big one. That comes up. Hate is projection.

[16:14]

They did something, he did something, she did something, and I hate that. Anger has its place. Anger has its place, but hate is self-devouring because it blocks our heart. Bodhisattva doesn't let anything close the heart. Bodhisattva is like the sun, always shining. Even though anger and hate comes up, one must be very careful not to be seduced by it.

[17:25]

It's very seductive. And it objectifies. Love and hate are two sides of a coin. The same thing. When we love, If that love can't be fulfilled, then we switch around and shine it as ill will. So, problem is we want something. The only way that you can maintain love unconditionally is to not want anything. So it all comes back to letting go of possessiveness, letting go of hanging on to anything.

[18:32]

But the problem with hate is that it has us. As soon as you project hate, then you're caught by what you're projecting. So, whatever it is that we project, we are caught by. We're attached to. So be careful. Also, we become what we hate. That's a big problem. So the object and our self become the same thing. So this is a big barrier.

[19:40]

This is the kind of nail that we have to chew on. And it's a tough nail. That's a tough nail. But anyway, if you keep away from arrows and evade swords, you'll be a failure. So we have to deal with it. When hate comes up, we have to deal with it. Don't evade it. What is this? How do I get through it? How do I deal with this? Don't evade it. Don't take a drink. Don't smoke a joint. Look at it square in the face. Don't go to the movies. Don't hide your head under the blanket. Then he says, as for the subtle point where no probe can be inserted, that may be set aside for a while.

[20:43]

That's the place where in your absolute samadhi, you're completely unperturbed. So in absolute samadhi, you can't put a needle in. You can't find any place for upsetting your state of mind. No matter what happens, you don't get upset. This is like zazen. In zazen, sitting long, getting tired, you develop this state of, you're in a state of absolute samadhi where the pain in your legs doesn't bother you or you don't allow it to become, you don't attach to it, you don't attach to the pleasure, you don't attach to anything.

[21:47]

So there's nothing that can really upset you. This is when your samadhi is very strong and complete, simply sitting in comfort, sitting long in comfort, which doesn't mean there's no pain or demonic thoughts. It simply means that there's nothing that can disturb you. This is like Buddha's, when Buddha was sitting under the bow tree for seven days, he was sitting in his absolute samadhi, and all the demons came to visit him, but he was totally unperturbed.

[22:49]

This is his enlightenment. And this is our Zazen. So, he says, As for the subtle point where no probe can be inserted, put that aside for a while, but when the foaming waves wash the sky, what will you do with yourself then? In other words, when you go out into the world and the affairs of the world are washing over you like huge waves that can easily blow you over, what will you do then? you know, after you leave the zendo and read the newspaper and listen to what's going on in the world and meet it, what will you do then? That's the big challenge. How will you maintain your samadhi then? So,

[23:55]

You know, sometimes people say, in the middle of Sashin, usually, maybe the second or third day, they say, you know, this Zazen, this Sashin, just seems like an endurance contest. day after day, zazen all day long, one period after another, lots of pain, lots of demonic thoughts, perturbing thoughts. And then, how do I deal with all this? Gee, the sun is out there shining, people are going about their business, the world is falling apart, people need help. This just seems like I'm just here doing an endurance contest to see if I can do something.

[24:58]

It does seem like an endurance contest because that's exactly what it is. It's an endurance contest. Endurance is like endure. Endure means to last. It means to get down to the bottom of something so that you find the place that's immovable. That's what Sashin is. you get down to that place in which of absolute samadhi, the immovable place, the bedrock of your life.

[26:03]

And that's called endurance. And it takes a while to get there, to actually settle into that place. In the Prajnaparamita Sutra in 8000 lines there's a phrase that says the patient endurance of the uncreate, that line always sticks in my head, the patient endurance of the uncreate, meaning the uncreate which is nothing but patience and endurance, which is our fundamental nature. Sashin is called great patience. Zazen is called patience.

[27:07]

Sashin is called great patience. Patience doesn't mean, sometimes we think patience means waiting for something, waiting patiently. Patience in this sense doesn't mean waiting, it means actually being there without anxiety to be somewhere else, without the desire to move or to find a more comfortable position. In our life, Suzuki Goshi used to say, we spend our life just shifting our equipment in order to make ourselves patient, in order to make ourselves comfortable. We change our equipment over and over but it doesn't help. We invent new ways to be more comfortable.

[28:11]

And the more ways we invent to be more comfortable, the more uncomfortable we become until we realize that, hey, all these things that are supposed to make me comfortable are making me really uncomfortable. And then we look for some simplicity in our life. So zazen is the most simple aspect of our life. just being able to settle on the bedrock of our existence without any help, without any crutches, without any convenience mechanisms. So this is our endurance contest. You know, we make a promise to ourselves, I'm going to sit for five days.

[29:19]

And then in the middle of those five days, the question comes up, why did I say I was gonna do this? Why am I doing this? I don't understand why I'm doing this. You know darn good and well why you're doing it, but you say, I don't know why I'm doing this. At the time you say, I don't know why I'm doing this, you really don't know. But that's okay, because not knowing actually is the highest, as they say. True not knowing is the highest. But there's not knowing, and then there's really not knowing. But really not knowing is knowing. Really not knowing means you have no doubts. There's only don't know. Just do. So when it comes down to it, there's only just do. That's it. The secret of Zen. Just do.

[30:22]

Only just do it. I don't know why I'm doing it, but I just do my best. I put my whole self, my whole body and mind into just doing this nothing thing, which involves the whole body and mind. the whole body and mind totally dynamically working together with the whole universe. And of course, how could you know? But you do know. When there's no separation, you know. But you can't describe it. So then, Dogen, when he came back from China, they said, well, what did you bring back from China?

[31:34]

This is in the 13th century, 1225 or something like that. He said, well, all I know is that my nose is vertical, my eyes are horizontal. But that's pretty good. Most people don't know that, even though they think they know it. One of the problems, the reason why we question what we're doing is because there's always the idea behind somewhere that there is something meaningful. There has to be some meaningful reason for doing this. even though you know there's no meaningful reason for doing Zazen or for doing Sashin.

[32:36]

Because our meaningful reasons are always in the realm of gaining something. So Zazen is the realm of letting go of everything. It's just the opposite of our unusual life of gaining. Simply being present is good enough. Simply being present is good enough for its own sake. This is called endurance. Just resting on the bedrock of existence for its own sake.

[33:42]

Not getting lost in the leaves and branches, but staying with the root. Cultivating the ground. If you've ever done any farming or gardening, especially nowadays, you know, when people are very much aware of organic gardening and so forth. Just working with the ground, you know, we like to see the beautiful flowers and the beautiful vegetables and all that, you know, but when you really get into it, you find that the greatest pleasure is in the quality of the ground. when you see how the manures and the fertilizers and the aeration and the moisture and all of those elements come together to create this beautiful soil, you realize that the ground is the most interesting and most valuable part

[34:58]

you could almost want to just eat that, you know. And then when you watch the beautiful flowers and beautiful vegetables come up and watch how that earth, given its sponginess and vitality, is what makes this stuff grow, it becomes the most interesting part So this is like our Zen practice, just paying attention to the soil, paying attention to the ground, being grounded in the fundamental. So what good does it do? Well, everything grows from this. A lot of stuff grows without being grounded.

[35:59]

and causes a lot of problems in our world. So just helping people to be grounded through practice is justification enough from my point of view for our practice. It's like saying, hey folks, remember this? You forget about this. There's a story about the Kadagiri where she used to tell about the horseman. This guy gets on a horse and he's not a very good rider and the horse is kind of wild and the horse takes off by itself and the horse is running through town and the guy's hanging on for dear life and then the horse gets into the village and goes into the marketplace and turns over all the wagons and the apples and the oranges are flying all over the place.

[37:04]

And some guy says, hey, where are you going with that horse? And the guy says, don't ask me, ask the horse. This is the story of our society which needs to be grounded. So then Setso has a verse and he says, one, two, tens of thousands of hundreds, tens of hundreds of thousands, take off the muzzle and set down the load. If you turn left and right following another's lead, I would strike you as Shiko struck Yutetsuma. One, two, and tens of hundreds of thousands, He's talking about so many, lots of people.

[38:10]

He says, take off the muzzle and set down the load. Take down the muzzle and set down, Shakyamuni, you know, in the sutras always saying, take off the burden. take off the burden, set down the burden. And then when he's talking about monks, he's saying, these are people who have set down the burden. The burden is carrying all this stuff around, carrying mental baggage, the entanglement of affairs, the entanglements of society, the weights of the discords and all of the problems.

[39:12]

He's saying, take off the muzzle. The muzzle means that which keeps you from speaking or keeps you from acting. take off the muzzle and put down the load, or take off the saddlebags. It's maybe translated sometime. And then there's this strange ending. He says, if you turn left and right following another's lead, there's various ways to translate this, everybody translates it a little different, but it is turning left and right and following another's lead, I would strike you as Shiko struck Ryutetsuma. I have to explain that a little bit. Ryutetsuma was a nun Iron Grindstone is a nickname because when the monks, the young monks would come to her, she would always grind them, like in her grindstone, you know, she'd always defeat them in Dharma combat.

[40:34]

So she was pretty tough. But one day she came, she and Shiko, his name is Shiko, met. And he said, using her name, it's kind of a pun on her name, he said, do you turn your grindstone to the right or to the left? And she said something like, it doesn't overturn. and he smacked her. I don't know what he did. The text says he slapped her or hit her. I don't know what, but he did something that was a kind of slap, which is very common in those days for teachers and students to slap each other. but I have my big stick, so be careful. So he stopped her.

[41:39]

So there are various interpretations, and I don't want to interpret it, but turning right and turning left has the implication of what do you follow? Do you turn right and left? So turning right and left kind of means shopping around, going here and there to collect various wisdom teachings to put in your basket. people go, well, I'm going to go study with so-and-so for a while, or hear such and such, so-and-so, or try a little bit of this and try a little bit of that, and I'll gain some things to put in my basket, my wisdom basket. But the criticism is that if you just sit, if you just do one practice thoroughly,

[42:46]

everything you need to know will come out of that one practice. If you shop around, if you're always looking around for interesting items, you'll never get anywhere. You have to bore your own hole. You can't collect things and expect it to be your own. You have to bore your own hole and go through your own suffering, go through your own hard practice, and just stay in your spot. That's what Zazen is. Zazen is stay in your spot and don't move from your spot and whatever you experience is what you have to face squarely. And don't, maybe it's easier over there. or maybe they have the right answer over here. You know, I went and heard somebody talk and I understood what they meant, you know, they really had the right answer. And then you stay with them for a little while and then they come crawling back and saying, I think I need to practice.

[43:51]

So be careful. This is the most important point of all. Don't go to dusty lands seeking something away from your own spot. Whatever it is you have to learn, you will learn right on your spot if you don't move. Everything that we need to know is right here. But it's so easy to avoid. But if you just stay on your spot and face whatever comes up, you can't avoid things. You can for a while, but it doesn't go away. Sometimes we may send somebody away, go study with somebody else for a while.

[44:56]

That might be helpful. But the practice is the same. I don't usually send people away. People, someone's having a hard time. I just say, stay there with your hard time because your hard time is, uh, the thing that you have to work with is that's, that's your practice is your difficulty. Don't go away for looking, looking for something easier. you're trapped in your own self. Going away doesn't take that away from you. The only way you can escape from yourself is to stay where you are, to find your freedom within your narrow place.

[46:05]

So sitting long is hard work and makes you tired. so to speak, but also gives you back your life. This is called Zen spirit. The spirit of Zen is to stay on your spot and endure it. Kali Giriraj used to talk about enduring the unendurable. You have to endure the unendurable, that which is most difficult to endure. That's why you have to stay. Otherwise, you can't succeed in Zen practice. Some practice places are hard practice.

[47:17]

Some practice places are easy practice. It doesn't matter. It's what you do that matters. You can practice in a place that's easy to practice if you practice hard. You can practice in a place that's difficult to practice, but if you don't practice hard, it doesn't help. Zen practice is nothing other than just you yourself, being yourself, grounded, totally grounded.

[48:07]

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