I am what it is, the truth, the love, the time. Well, today, with this sitting, we open our spring practice period. At the end of the day, we will install our head seat, Shiso Ross Blum. will share my seat during this period.

[01:05]

And his practice will be to set an example of how to practice for everyone. It's a difficult seat. I feel very confident. He's been around a long time. and knows our practice very well. And I would feel very comfortable having you talk to him, have tea with him, ask him questions, discuss your practice with him. Also, I encourage you to discuss your practice with our regular practice leaders as well. I wrote down a whole bunch of things about practice period, which I want to discuss with you.

[02:11]

I have a little piece of paper, but I put it in this Sutra of the Full Awareness of Breathing as the foundation for my notes. You know, our practice periods are a little unique because usually, ongo, or practice period, traditionally is a monastic practice. And our practice has the flavor of monastic practice, but actually it's lay practice. kind of unique way of practicing that's peculiar to people in America. So our practice is based on daily practice, daily zazen.

[03:20]

And not everyone can practice so consistently. So one thing I want to say from the outset is everyone has a different practice. We all practice the same practice, but every one of us has a unique practice because of our responsibilities and because our lives are very different. So I want to say, do not compare your practice to the practice of someone else. Someone will be able to sit zazen six days a week, all year round, but without any problem. Someone else will be able to sit zazen twice a week, or once a month, or two times a year, whatever it is. Don't compare your practice to the practice of someone else.

[04:23]

Your practice is your practice. Her practice is her practice. His practice is his practice. And don't evaluate in practice based on comparison. And don't evaluate someone else's practice based on comparison. The unique thing about our practice period is that everyone decides to what extent they can practice at the zendo. And when we do that, we have to take into consideration our family, our work, our schoolwork, if that's what it is, our responsibilities, all the various aspects of our life.

[05:33]

And to balance these aspects of our life is our practice. Zazen is one of those aspects. Study is one of those aspects. So if one is comparatively free of responsibilities, presumably one could spend more time sitting zazen. If one has a lot of responsibilities, then it doesn't make sense to try and force yourself to do something that will only cause you disharmony in your life. So in order to practice we have to put our life in order. You can't really have a steady practice unless your life has some order to it. Arbitrary practice, which is, today I think I'll sit zazen, is not real practice.

[06:42]

Real practice is intention. And intention means that your Zazen practice or Zendo practice has a pattern, a rhythm to it, that fits in with the pattern and the rhythm of the rest of your activities. Then it's a real practice, just like going to work is a real practice. You don't say, today I think I'll go to work. Or, today I think I'll eat breakfast. Sometimes we do that, but mostly we get up and we eat breakfast. or we eat lunch, or we eat dinner, or we go to work because we're committed to it. So commitment is very important. So when we have practice period, it gives us an opportunity to look at what is our commitment, what are all of our commitments, what are all of my commitments, what can I let go of, and what do I really need?

[07:55]

So it gives us an opportunity to evaluate the activities of our life and look at what's important, what's not important. It's kind of like spring cleaning. We look through the drawers of our life, in the closets, and we throw out the stuff that we don't need anymore, give it away, or whatever, and then we assess what's really useful, what's valuable, and reorder our life. So this is a really good opportunity because practice period will set the tone for our practice through the fiscal year. So one of the characteristics of Soto Zen is retreat from the world and re-entering the world.

[09:11]

These are the two sides of practice. One is letting go of the world and going into the woods or going to the mountain. letting go and returning to the world with whatever it is that you're, with your development, are offering the merit of your development to the world. So, daily practice is, has both sides of these, has both these sides. come to the zendo and sit zazen is letting go of the world, retreating from the world. And then leaving the zendo and going into the world is bringing your practice with you to the world.

[10:15]

So we have to take care of both of these aspects. So constantly alternating between these two until there's really no difference between retreating from the world and entering the world. You know, the tenth ox-herding picture is returning to the world with presence for everyone. And the first nine are how to practice retreating from the world. So retreating from the world is just a manner of speaking. There's no way you can retreat from the world. But it's a way of speaking. So you let go of most activities and focus on your nature.

[11:30]

It's like inhaling and exhaling. First you inhale. Then you exhale. Which came first? The inhale or the exhale? But it must have been the inhale. And then you exhale. Then you inhale. And that same kind of rhythm is our practice. But inhaling and exhaling is one breath. So, within this activity, we have an opportunity to limit ourself.

[12:38]

In order to do something, you have to not do something else. Whatever we do involves choice. And when we make a choice, we choose something and we let go of something. You can't have everything. So a practice period is an opportunity to limit our activity. to really focus and limit our activity to how we can really practice with what's necessary, letting go of what's not necessary. And only you can decide that in your own life. But something to think about for a practice period. What can I let go of? And it's also a good opportunity if you want to stop smoking or if you want to stop drinking, or if you want to stop some activity which you're having difficulty with, you might think about, this might be just a good time to clean up my act.

[13:47]

And it might also be a good time to just accept yourself. You know, one side is cleaning up your act, the other is, well, I think I'll accept the fact that I am the way I am. That's very important. Maybe I don't want to give up anything. Maybe I just really want to accept the way I am and stop beating up on myself. Stop criticizing myself. So this is also a good kind of practice to think about. I think each one of us could have a special practice which is peculiar to ourself, given what we're dealing with in our life. It's difficult. And work on that. For someone who is lazy, you might want to put more effort into what you're doing.

[15:01]

And for someone who is doing too much, you might want to slack off, let go of something, let go and not do so much. We think of practice period as intensifying our practice. But one way of intensifying is to relax or let go so that your practice flows more easily, your life flows more easily. And when your life is flowing more easily, that's a kind of intensification, because you're allowing something to happen that the intensity blocks. So, you may be giving up quantity for quality. So sometimes more is good and sometimes less is good.

[16:21]

And we have to balance out. So one of the important factors here is balance. balancing this factor against that factor, balancing my work life against family life, against zazen, against play, or whatever it is, relationship, and so forth. So that we don't... Each one of us has a propensity for doing one thing more than another. For some people, it's sitting in a zendo all the time and maybe neglecting work or family. For someone else, it's putting a lot of effort into family or work and not sitting so much, or maybe studying too much and not really sitting on zen.

[17:25]

So, to evaluate that so that you gain a better balance. Someone sitting zazen too much and neglecting their other activities should think about that. That's too one-sided. I remember Suzuki Roshi was very adamant about people the husband or the wife who just wanted to sit zazen and was neglecting their family. And he would always urge them to stop sitting so much and take care of their responsibilities. But there's also the kind of doting parent, you know, or doting husband or wife who needs to actually ease off a little bit and do a little bit of zazen.

[18:31]

give the family a chance to breathe without you. I'm stepping off into deep water here. So, to review our activities, that's very important. And assess your life. And balance your activities and put your life in order and schedule your zazen so that you know that that's what's going to happen. It's not just arbitrary. So then there's zendo practice. And if you can't sit at the zendo regularly, to sit at home as well. You know, people say, well, it's hard for me to find the time to sit at home.

[19:40]

And I know that it's not easy, but you don't have to sit for 40 minutes. If you sit for 15 minutes, you know, if you say you can come to the Zendo once or twice a week or something like that, You can sit for 10 or 15 minutes at home, or 20 minutes. Or if you actually do this, you can find out what length of time you can sit. It's not so much how long, but what kind of continuity you have. Sitting with other people at the Zen Dojo is very important. Because if we're only sitting by ourself, then we just have personal practice. But our practice is shared practice. We support each other in our practice, and we're in turn supported in our practice.

[20:50]

It's not just private practice. Private practice can easily lead to self-centered practice. something that you just do for yourself. Immature practice is practice that we just do for ourself. Maturity of practice is practice that we do with everyone. So, I don't say that we should always sit with each other. We should sit with each other as we can, and then to have some private practice, personal practice. If it's just one side, not so good. So spiritual practice or zendo practice, zazen specifically, and then family practice, creating harmonious practice at home with your family.

[22:00]

is also very important. And there are practices that you can do which keep you tuned in to practice, like chanting a meal chant before you eat, at least one meal, or bowing when you eat, or lighting incense in the morning. or in the evening before your activities. It doesn't have to be a lot, but just something to connect your family practice with your Zendo practice. And work practice. You know, when you go to work, you may be the only Zen student in your workplace or in your school place or whatever.

[23:09]

So this is like practicing in an anonymous way, which is wonderful practice, very good practice, to practice upholding the standards of Buddhadharma. in the workplace, without telling anybody that that's what you're doing, or trying to influence people to become Buddhists. If you really practice that way, people will say, where does that come from? That would be the kind of wonderful influence, actually, and it really happens. If you practice in your workplace, bodhisattva practice people will very much respect you and you will create a harmonious situation but it's the hardest place because often the workplace is dominated by greed

[24:25]

So, a great place to practice. Lay practice is really the hardest in many ways. I don't want to say, I don't want to compare, but it's just as hard as any other practice, as monastic practice, and in many ways much more difficult. So, out there on the street it can be very brutal. So, to really put some effort into how do you practice in the workplace? That's part of your practice period. Your practice period extends to the workplace. The zendo extends to the workplace. And then there's the practice of helping other people. to really make some effort to help other people without making an issue of it.

[25:40]

Without thinking, now I'm helping other people. To just do something and let go of it. This is a bodhisattva practice. There's always the temptation, you know, to want to let people know that you're helping them. Because you want some gratification or you want some acknowledgement. And to just let go of that need for acknowledgement will throw you back on yourself. and help you to let go of things. So helping others is metta practice and it's also the practice of selflessness.

[26:48]

So we must remember that the whole practice turns on selflessness. All the practices that we have are practices of letting go. Just like inhaling and exhaling. Inhaling is coming to life and exhaling is letting go. So we come to life by doing something and then we let go of it. And then there's, of course, self-practice, which is taking care of ourself. When you're a kid, your mother takes care of you. She'll brush your teeth, clean up your room, make your bed, blah, blah, blah, and you hate it.

[27:54]

But then after that, we have to take care of ourself. Our Zen practice is really to take care of ourselves, to keep ourselves in order, take care of our tools, take care of our clothes, take care of the things around us as our practice. That's very important. And so taking care of ourselves also means not overdoing it. finding the balance, finding the foundation, keeping to the foundation. If we learn to take care of ourselves, then we can take care of other people the same way. If we don't take care of ourselves, it's hard to know how to take care of others.

[28:58]

So taking care of ourselves and our practice is taking care of others. And taking care of others is also taking care of ourselves. So, we can't leave ourselves out. It's like the monk, you know, who was asked, there were ten monks, and they asked this one to count to see how many there were, and he always counted to nine. Until somebody said, well what about you? Oh yeah, And then of course there's practice, I mean study. We will study during this practice period the Platform Sutra of the Sixth Ancestor of Zen in China. It's a very interesting sutra and every Zen student should study it. at some point. But study is something that is good to do a little bit of every day.

[30:07]

If we study too much, it may be good to put your books down. And if you don't study enough, you should be urged to study something. But study is kind of inspiration, inspiration practice. and it keeps our mind focused on practice. So, I think it's good to study a little something every day, even if it's just reading a few lines, or reading a chapter of Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, or something that you're If you're studying something, to read a little bit of that every day, just to focus your mind on practice. And then there's the practice of mindfulness, which is awareness.

[31:16]

To be really aware of what the body is doing, aware of what the breath is doing, aware of what the mind is thinking, aware of states of mind, to have self-awareness and also awareness of what's going on around us, and not just get lost in daydreaming. Daydreaming is also good, you know, but problem is that we lose ourself and not in the right way. So, good to keep coming back to ourself. So during the day, I suggest that you really pay attention to your breath.

[32:22]

One way to be aware of practice all the time is to be aware of breath with everything that you do. Walking with breath. Sitting down with breath. Working with breath. Moving, in all of our movements, to move with the breath. And to be aware that the breath is down here all the time. This is basic practice because it has to do with body and attention. And it's zazen carried into your activities. When you sit zazen, you're aware of your bodily activity and the breath. And you don't lose that. You maintain that throughout your activity, throughout the day. And you just keep coming back to that as grounding. And as a way to maintain equanimity, We're always being thrown off balance, and then we're always finding our balance, moment after moment.

[33:32]

So, to stay centered in your aura, and when the breath gets up here, to know, now I'm breathing up here, and let the breath settle. And when you get into a tight situation, the breath tends to rise, or you stop breathing. To know the breath is up here, or I stop breathing, and to let yourself breathe again, so that no matter what situation you're in, there's always ease. Your body and mind are at ease, and you don't get tense. You don't get caught up. This is really important. And we go, you know, some people go to lots of meetings and there are lots of controversy and tension and so forth.

[34:37]

And within that tension to keep your equanimity and keep your breath at ease, breathe easily. Just like when you're caught in Zazen by the pain in your legs. So Zazen is, you know, our daily activity is Zazen extended into our daily life. When you're caught by the difficulties in Zazen, that's the time to just bring your breath down and be at ease. Zazen teaches us how to do this. Our natural tendency is to freeze up, so we have to go against that natural tendency and open up to difficulty. Be as open as possible to difficulty.

[35:39]

That's the secret of zazen, and it's the secret of our life. So, in our daily life, to maintain equanimity and stability. Equanimity is like the two poles, you know, balancing. And stability is like the center, the fulcrum. No matter how these two ends are balancing each other, stability is always there in the center. And then dealing with desire or greed and ill will,

[36:52]

Anger and delusion are also factors that are always underlying our activity. To have awareness when, oh, this is greed, or this is desire, or this is anger, this is ill will, the hardest thing to recognize is, oh, this is delusion. Because when we have delusion, we don't know. People point it out to us. Someone usually has to point it out to us, and say, you stupid. What? But if you can recognize your own delusion, that's very good. Actually, it's always good. The person that cannot admit to delusion is really deluded. The crazy person says, I'm not crazy.

[37:58]

We're all a little bit crazy. Even if you think you're not crazy, you should leak a little bit. If you hang on to your sanity, there's something, you know, too clutching about it, too secure. We must be so secure that we're completely sane. But fortunately, we're all a little bit nuts.

[39:09]

And that's our saving grace. So there are many things for us to practice with. and I'll be talking about more in-depth during the practice period, during my talks in the practice period. There's also the four Brahma-viharas which are actually important practices for our daily life. Really what I'm

[40:16]

What I want to emphasize here is that practice period doesn't mean that we just sit more zazen. We should sit as much zazen as the law allows, the law of our life. But our practice period extends into all these other areas, and it's the whole of our life that's involved in the practice period. Some people will not be sitting practice period. Some people in this room will not be doing practice period, which is fine. But people that are not doing practice period can also benefit through those people to have some benefit from practice of those who are doing practice period. And the people who are doing practice period should not criticize people who are not, or compare yourself.

[41:21]

In some way, even if you're not doing practice period, you are doing it if you're here. So don't worry about it. But I really want to emphasize the wholeness of our lives as practice period, as being included in practice period. Do you have a question? Yes? How do I use Ross as an example of practice when I don't have a practice with his practice? How can you what? He's setting the example, right? Well, what is he doing when he sets an example? Is he saying, what I'm doing is what you should be doing?

[42:32]

He's saying, and hopefully, he's saying, this is what I can do. And I'm doing what I can do. the best way I can. He's not comparing his practice to mine and saying, I'm doing what Mel does. He's saying, I'm doing what Ross does. I'm doing what I do. And you are saying, I'm doing what I do. And if we're all doing what we can do the best we can do it, then everything's equal. That's called equality. The mouse is being a perfect mouse by scurrying around like he does. And the elephant is being a perfect elephant by walking real slowly like he does. No problem. And they're equal. The mouse is equal to the elephant. It's not a matter of the quantity.

[43:38]

It's the whole-heartedness with which we do what we do. That's really our practice. And the sincerity with which we do it. It's the qualities, not the quantities. So, the qualities I would expect from the Shuso. I'm not going to tell you what they are. is about, we're supposed to let go of the ego, but when we're mindful and aware during the day, doing that involves ego functions. Like what? What? Like what kind of ego functions? Well, to be really aware of what our thoughts are or what we're doing, I feel like that involves our observing ego. And it's when I'm more lost in the activity that I feel like my ego is gone.

[44:45]

Oh, I see. Well, ego, you know, it can be gone both ways. When one is completely involved in their activity, right, and you're not just doing something only for yourself, then ego is not playing a big part. And when one is self-aware, Then one is examined, that's called like examination, right? And you're not doing it for self-centered reasons. You're doing it in order to be aware. So the awareness has different aspects. there's awareness which is completely losing yourself and there's awareness which is completely focusing on your activities.

[45:52]

So both of them are correct. Both sides. We have analytical side and we have synthesis side. So Self-awareness on one side is to really look and analyze what's going on. That's one side. The other side is to just let go and be completely one with everything, without thought of self. Those are two sides of selflessness. So when ego is talked about, it's self-centered ego, it's not... Well, self-centeredness means you're doing something for your own aggrandizement or just to create a sense of self or a false self or a built-up self.

[47:06]

where, you know, I don't get to the zen dojo much. I mean, even this zen dojo, any zen dojo. And sometimes I sit at home, sometimes I don't, and sometimes I think, ah, I just can't sit. But, so anyway, I have a small criticism about talking, when you talk about arbitrary practice, somehow I think, well, this is what I'm doing right now. Right now, I don't want to sit, I just want to run away, or whatever. But you know, my intention, or my faith, or my true nature is always there. And my path is my path, so how can it be arbitrary? Anybody's practice. I mean, I think I know what you're saying. Well, what I'm talking about is settled practice. So your practice is not settled. So it has to be what it is. It's not, you know, when we're talking about how to practice, we're talking about how to practice in a settled way.

[48:39]

I mean, yes, I am. I'm talking about how to practice as a settled person. When one is not settled, one does the best they can. Is that the most important thing to practice in a settled way? I mean, what if you just can't do that? Well, yes, it is. But when you can't do it, you know, it's like anything. It's very important to practice in a settled way. But when you're not settled, you do the best you can. You do that with anything, right? Yeah, I do the best I can. You do the best you can. And it's better to have arbitrary practice than no practice. There are transitions. And so when one is in transition, one does the best they can.

[49:40]

But I think even when I was living here and sitting six days a week, it wasn't a settled practice. I mean, it's always kind of been. You know, none of us is completely settled. There's always... The thing about the human being is that no matter how... no matter how rounded a person is, there's always something that's upsetting it. No matter how symmetrical we are, there's always something throwing off our symmetry inside. So that's why it's so hard to sit still.

[50:45]

It's really hard to sit still, because there's always, no matter how symmetrical we are, there's always something coming and pushing us off. And we have to deal with that thing. So, settled. you know, means various things. At least settled enough to do what you have to do. You can't practice well unless your life is somewhat stable. Yes? I've been reading a lot of books by Catholic monastics in their daily practice, particularly like Benedictines who have practices I think that at various points in my life when I wasn't sitting at all, I would say to myself, well, I'm trying to do it in my life as I go along through the day.

[51:47]

And at the moment, I think that maybe in some way I was kidding myself about that. And that somehow the wrestling with some kind of daily practice is really important, because that's the mirror. Even if I fail, the wrestling with it, day after day after day, is really important. Settled practice doesn't mean that everything is okay. It does not mean that everything is okay now. It means that you're in a position where you can actually do something that you want to do.

[52:51]

And this goes for anything, you know, for any activity. You have to, all the factors have to be in order in order to do any activity. So if you want to play football, you have to live a certain kind of lifestyle. You know, you can't go out, stay up until midnight every night, you know, and drinking and all this, and then go out on the field and play football. Your life has to be in order before you can do that. So it's just, that's all. It's very simple. And whatever that order is, is what it is. And sometimes we practice even if our life isn't in order. And once we start practicing and we're serious, our life sometimes gets out of order. And we do the best we can. And then after a while it gets back into order. But it's always getting out of order.

[53:55]

No matter how ordered our life is, it's always getting, because life is not order. in a certain kind of order, you know. But the sands are always shifting. And to be able to shift with the sands, very important. Frank Lloyd Wright built the Tokyo Hotel, Imperial Hotel, after the big earthquake, on rollers. So it would roll with the waves instead of falling down. That's our practice, actually. Maybe you should call it rolling practice. Yeah, rolling practice. Rolling, pulling practice. It is called riding the wave.

[55:00]

and driving the wave. We drive the wave and we ride the wave at the same time. We should keep that in mind.

[55:14]

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