Tomorrow, we're having a work day. We have a couple of work days every year where we, the Sangha, participates in really taking care of things that have been accumulating all year and need to be taken care of. So there's a lot of work that we do and it's a very happy, joyous occasion when we can all put ourselves into taking care of our practice place together in a good atmosphere. But the work leader said to me, you know, hardly anybody signed up. And I said, well, I'll give a talk about it. But this morning I looked at the sign-up sheet and it was a lot of people signed up. So then I think, well, is this really, you know, it kind of takes the wind out of the sails a little bit. But that doesn't stop me from encouraging our practice and giving us an overview of

[01:13]

what our practice actually is, how we can actually practice here, and how we do practice, and how maybe so many people don't know what it entails to keep the Zen Center going. So I thought of a lot of things. I'm going to look at my little list here. You know, when I first began to practice back in 1964, it was Sokoji Temple in San Francisco, a Japanese temple, before we moved, before Zen Center moved to Page Street, where it is now. That was the beginning of Zen Center back in the early 60s. And I was the first work leader, actually, officially.

[02:14]

We used to, the floor, we didn't have the middle tans here like we do here. It was a beautiful room. And every Saturday morning we would wax the floor and then polish it. Everybody did, almost everybody participated, doing one thing together. This is kind of like our inherited Japanese practice, is that there are projects that people all do together. And it's very, it's characteristic. So we would all wax the floor and then we'd get a board with a, or just a towel. Everybody had a little towel piece and we'd bend over and walk with our hands on the floor, pushing the rag across the floor. Everybody doing this together and then turn around and come back and then back and forth. And it was, you know, it was like a

[03:22]

game, you know, like jumping with a gunny sack or something. So work is kind of fun, you know, you enjoy what you're doing. Then it's not really work. So anyway, that was the kind of characteristic of our practice. And then in 67 we started, we started the Berkeley Zendo in 67, and we started Tassahara Mountain Center in 67, same year. So when we started Tassahara Mountain Center, it was just us students doing all the work. So it was like a pioneering effort, which really was exciting to me. We didn't hire people to do our work. We did it all ourselves. And so I kind of used that model in developing this Zen Center, which is kind of a small place,

[04:28]

but I used all those characteristics in some way to establish our practice here. And so I made a list of what some of those, what it is that we do here and what keeps our practice together. Of course, there's Zazen, is the central activity we do. And then we do study. We have a lecture or Teisho, like we're doing today. We have Tokusan, or practice instruction, where the teacher and student meet and discuss practice. And then we have work practice. And we have position rotation, which I'll talk about a little bit, but not right now. And then we have our Saturday morning practice, which is a kind of mini Sesshin, you know, Zazen service, breakfast, Zazen lecture.

[05:37]

And then we have cooking practice. We have serving practice. We have Sesshins, long periods of retreat. And we have practice periods of six weeks, four weeks, and we have ordinations. That's a complete practice. Many small Zendos don't have that much activity. But I wanted our practice place to have a full, to be a full practice place where it's not just sitting Zazen, but it's taking care of our practice together and supporting each other. Because the practice only,

[06:39]

the practice is the people who are here. That's what our practice is. So if we don't take care of it, it doesn't work. It doesn't exist. So taking care of the practice place is a part of what makes everything work. So that's a big part of what makes our place tick. Yes, that we all have positions. You know, in India, the monks and lay people's practice was very separate. Although lay people did practice in a certain way with the monks. But the monks were not allowed to dig in the earth. They were not allowed really to do much work. And

[07:46]

when the Dharma came to China, Chinese people said, we don't support people who don't work. China was an agrarian society, and everybody went out in the fields and did work. That's what made China work. And so the monks actually, at first when Buddhism came to China, they set up monasteries and the monks sat around, they had tea about six or eight times a day. And they had servants who made the tea and served So they were kind of an elite group. But then when Zen came to China, that all changed. And the Zen monks were given land, and so they worked in the fields. They had fields, and they worked the fields. And there's this famous saying, you know, Master Paichang in the

[08:58]

work is a day of no eating. So work became a kind of practice for the monks, which is very different than in India. So I kind of like that ideal. The other ideal I liked was in China, in the Tang Dynasty, for a while, there was not much bureaucracy. There were many quasi-independent practice places, where there'd be a teacher, and then the students would come and form a sangha around the teacher, who they felt was a good teacher. And so the monks tend to wander around a lot and found an affinity with a teacher and a practice place. So that kind of small, kind of vital practice with the teacher and the sangha and

[10:12]

the support of the sangha became, made for a very strong practice. You know, what happens is when what is typical in Buddhist practice is for the monks to be supported by the laypeople. That's very typical all over the world, because there's the separation between the monks and the laypeople. In America, everything changed. Our teachers were married, they had families, and they didn't know what to do here. So they just set themselves up. They didn't even try to do anything particularly. Suzuki Roshi didn't try to do anything, exactly. He was invited to be the teacher of Sokoji. I mean, the head priest of the Sokoji Temple in San Francisco, where we

[11:19]

started. And he would sit. Sokoji, as you may or may not know, was an old synagogue, and they had a big theater like, you know, like churches do, and with pews. And Suzuki Roshi sat in the pews every morning. People would call him up and look for Zen in the telephone book, and they would call him up and say, this is the Zen Center, and what should I do? And he said, well, I sit Zazen every morning, and you're welcome to come at 5, 4 and 5. And so people started, you know, students started coming and practicing with him. And so he just kind of let things happen. He was just who he was, and he was directing things. He didn't direct things. He was just doing what he was doing. And then intuitively, things started coming together. So then he, they always asked him for advice, and so he would give them advice.

[12:33]

So, and then we had men and women practicing together, which was, doesn't happen like this anywhere in the world. And priests and laypeople practicing together all in the same way, and the laypeople were the heart of the, pretty much what created the Zen Center. But the laypeople practicing the same way as the priests, everybody practicing the same way. So that's very different. And when I, Suzuki Roshi permitted me to do this, I just used Tassajara and Zen Center as a model. And so we've just been doing this this way ever since. And the development has just happened by itself.

[13:42]

So, I want to give you a little overview of what keeps our temple running, what our actual practice is, what the opportunities to practice are. So, let me see here. What I, what we try to do is give everyone, all the members, a responsibility. It's very common to come to the Zen Center, and you see the Zen Center, and you see the people, here's the steeple, and people, and you say, well, they're doing this practice,

[14:46]

and I can come and do that too, right? But it's still them and me, and the Zen Center. It's still three different things. But once you start to practice, and you feel that you really want to continue, and have some maturity, you realize it's not them doing this, it's us doing this. We're doing the practice together, rather than they're doing this, and I can come and participate. There's still that, you know, you can do that. But once you step inside, which means taking some responsibility, then the Zen Center is yours. And you're not some outsider coming to do something with people. You step inside, and you are part of, every member has some creates something that makes it work.

[15:52]

So I'm going to start with the Board of Directors. The abbot, the vice abbot, the president, the vice president, the treasurers, and the members at large, that's the Board of Directors. The Board of Directors takes care of capital affairs and larger problems. And then we have various committees, finance committee, the development committee, electronic communications. All these things didn't happen when we first started. The building committee, and then we have practice leaders. When we have a practice period, every year we have a practice period, we have a head monk, shuso, which is a kind of rite of passage for a practice leader.

[17:05]

And then the practice leaders, we have a lot of practice leaders, because people have been practicing here for 45 years or something, many people. So we have a lot of really mature students, members. So we have the practice leaders who can actually have practice discussions with people. And then we have eight or nine, depending on, eight or nine or ten residents. We set up a small residence practice, and the residents have kind of like a core practice practice group, that even when a lot of people are not here during zazen, they are here, or should be. And they maintain a lot of the grounds and give a presence,

[18:08]

a continuing presence, which is important. So then we have a practice committee, which meets every week, which discusses the various aspects of practice. And then we have various committees, and then we have a maintenance person, we have a kitchen keeper, a garden coordinator, someone who takes care of the tokusan hut, the memorial garden, the memorial garden coordinator, and then we have a garden coordinator. We have the garden alters, the art coordinator, the bathroom attendant, the community room attendant, and the bookstore person, the health and safety person, the sangha support person, people, the family practice people, the men's shelter. We have a, we once, a couple of times a month, we do a men's shelter meal. And we have an abbot's assistant, but we don't really have that.

[19:13]

I don't, I can't, it's hard for me to operate with an assistant. And we have a webmaster, and the audio archivist. And so those are a good, oh, we have the head dowan, the head jiki-do, who takes care, in the morning, every morning, after zazen, after service, there's a small group that stays and cleans the zendo for everybody. A lot of people don't know that. And then the other people go out and sweep the grounds. So when you come in for zazen, the grounds are always swept, and the zendo is always cleaned and taken care of. And the head qidan, who takes care of the altar, and the many other qidans who take care of the altar. The head server trainer, the head dishwasher, the sewing teacher, the class coordinator, the Wednesday night group, the half-day sittings, the mountains and rivers,

[20:17]

which is having a sashin out in the countryside, the Saturday lecture scheduler, the orioki instructor, the orioki builder, the laundry person, the newsletter editor, the newsletter distribution, the librarian, the zazen instructor coordinator, plus the zazen teachers, and the special events coordinator, just to mention most of them. So that's a lot of positions. We try to give everybody something, to give you some sense of responsibility so that you feel that this is your place, and you have some responsibility for it as well as just taking. So some people, they come and they take. But it's really good to come and give as well as to take. And then there's money, you know.

[21:22]

We've never really had a money problem that was significant in all of our 45 years that we've ever spent. I don't care that much about money, and we never tried to build up a lot of money, you know, and nickel and dime people all the time. But when we need something, people respond. When we needed a new roof, immediately everybody responds. Because we try to keep fundraising at a minimum, but it keeps expanding, but coming up, and it's necessary. But we try not to do what's beyond our necessity. But what really counts is our participation. I value participation more than money.

[22:23]

But we've always been supportive. There's never really been a problem. That's great. I see so many people having financial problems, so many, you know. I practice places, but people, to create a space that people feel good about, people want to support it. So what we're doing is supporting each other, supporting our place. I've never really gone out to solicit money. But almost all of our funds come from within our practice, come from the members. So I feel that's good. It's what I consider grassroots. Our practice comes from our roots, and we take care of it and support it.

[23:35]

So this is like a garden or a field. And the members are all the flowers. And so we're all kind of gardeners. My ideal, when I first started this place, was to sit us in and take care. We had a big yard in the back on Dwight Way. And take care of, it was a little farm. I don't know how big it was. It was really big, big yard. And so I made compost, and I planted vegetables. And it was a wonderful way to practice. So for me, work and Zazen are two really important aspects to balance our practice.

[24:39]

Unfortunately, we don't have that big expense anymore. I think the person who owned the place next door, who used to own it, let me make a garden on the side there. Then she took it back after I made beautiful, loamy compost. But she was a great lady. I'm not complaining about her. But that was my ideal. So, I'm going to talk a little bit about Saturday morning practice because our Saturday morning

[25:47]

practice, which I just copied from Zen Center, allows us to do so many things in a morning. To have so much rounded practice. I think of it rounded practice. Just practicing Zazen is great. But many meditation groups simply have the meditation as the practice, which is good. Everybody works. Everybody does something, you know. So when you come to your practice place, do you want to work there too? You know, that's a question. It can be a problem with people. I work all day long. Why should I come here and work here? Isn't this the place where I come and have peace? Actually, our practice is not peaceful practice. It's not like that.

[26:47]

We do, you know, peace is great. Peaceful practice is wonderful. But you have to earn it. And you have to earn it through difficulty. If our practice is not difficult for you, you're not doing it correctly. Because practice should bring out something more than you think you can do. This is why, you know, the way I was taught, the way I was trained, was through really hard difficulty. And so, you know, when somebody's mean to you, you get mean to somebody else, right? So, but I have to say, I can't, I can't, there's a lot of compromise in our practice.

[27:49]

And we have to be able to serve whoever wants to practice, which is correct. And people are getting older, and it's harder for them to sit still, or cross their legs, or even sit in a chair, or even lie down. So, but we have to accommodate everyone, everyone to do that. But at the core of practice, you're difficult. Is where your practice starts. All the rest is just leading up to difficulty. When you find it's really hard, that's when practice starts. I was reading this book last night that my wife brought home by John Muir.

[28:58]

He says, without suffering and difficulty, life doesn't have much meaning. The true meaning comes through suffering and difficulty, which, and if you don't come up to the challenge, where are you? When you go to Japan, and you say, you say, what do you do? You say, oh, I practice Zen. They say, oh, difficult. You come to America, they say, what do you mean?

[30:10]

Anyway, I've always thought of this place as a one-room schoolhouse. First grade, second grade, all the way up to 12th grade. Everybody's in the same room. So, a teacher has to be able to deal with each person individually and accept each person's understanding and practice and ability and availability and so forth. And everyone is in a different place. So, you can really drive some people, which is good, and you really have to be accommodating to others. So, that's the way it is. But when I talk about hard practice, I think that also exists. When we have sashin, it's hard for almost everyone. And you come to a place where it's really difficult and you don't know whether you can,

[31:28]

you don't want to stay and you can't leave. That's the place where practice starts. And it's not that the rest isn't practice, but it's another stage. It's an important stage of practice. You can't stay there and you can't leave. What are you going to do? So, people say, oh, in Soto Zen, you don't have go-on practice. But that's your go-on practice. What do you do when you don't know what to do? What do you do when you're in a possible situation? John Muir, in this little book, he used to go out and search for glaciers in Alaska,

[32:30]

back there when people didn't do anything like that in a canoe. He was an incredible person. And so he went on this little trip to investigate these glaciers. And somebody brought along a little dog. And, well, the dog was kind of like aloof, you know, really aloof dog, little guy. And so, they were camped in this place and they woke up in the morning and he said, well, I'm going to go investigate, you know, and the dog went with him. And, you know, the thing that he liked was facing blizzards. He was not like us. He was some other kind of person.

[33:32]

And so, you know, he was having great fun in the sleet and the snow and investigating. And the little dog would do everything so easily, you know. He'd leap over crevasses and stuff like that. And they got isolated, you know. He didn't, there was a big blizzard, he didn't know quite where it was going, you know. And the landscape kept changing and the crevasses kept getting bigger and he couldn't leap over them anymore. And so there's this big crevasse and there's an ice chain that goes across. It's about this wide and you go down and up. And so, he wasn't sure what to do, you know. John, you know. So, he said, I've got, that's the only way I can get across. So, he had a little tool, you know, and he made some footholds

[34:35]

and then he leaned against this thing, you know, it's all slippery ice, right. And he slowly walked across and then got, he came up. He was in the critical position. And then he looked back and the dog was freaking out, which he'd never seen any emotion from that dog at all. And the dog was capable of, you know, hopping along. But the dog was freaking out. And you know how dogs are when they come to a place where they don't want to go. And he was groaning and groaning and whining and yelping. And John was saying, come on, come on, come on. He was trying to get. And the dog, finally, he had to do what he had to do. He didn't want to do it. So, he's crawling and crawling and crawling.

[35:40]

And finally, he gets to a point where he just runs and leaps up and over John Muir's head. And he's so happy that he just goes crazy. I know that feeling of a dog. The dog just goes absolutely nuts. And all the way home. And John Muir said that's the most exciting adventure he ever had. That was his. And the dog, from then on, was just, you know, couldn't separate himself from John Muir. He just became a different dog entirely. So, anyway, if you want, you can come to the work place. It's really great fun.

[36:43]

We always have a great time. Great food. Oh, my God. Great lunch. And we said a little bit of zazen first and then a little zazen after. Although, you don't have to. You can come any time you want. We're so soft. Come in the morning, leave in the afternoon, come in the afternoon. Leave in the morning. Don't ruin your day. But you really enjoy it. There's something about working together. It's a kind of group samadhi. And even though you're not supposed to talk, everybody does. So, do you have any questions? Do you think the dog found its Buddha nature at that moment?

[37:46]

He expressed his Buddha nature at that moment. Thank you. Yeah. You talked about sort of, if things aren't hard, you're not doing it right. No, no. If it's not hard, you're not doing it. Then nothing's going right and wrong. But it's, you know, don't get caught in words. My question is... You have a question about right and wrong. That's what your question is about. Your question is about right and wrong. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. It's not a matter of right and wrong. It's a matter of... You know, it's not hard or easy. Yeah.

[38:49]

When you do something that you think is hard, after you've done it, it's easy. It's like... It's about barriers. It's about the barriers that you set up for yourself. You say, well, I'm only going to go this far. You know? This is as much as I'm going to... It's like, practice is forever. You know, your practice goes like this. It's like waves, and it goes on forever. It's not like there's some end to practice. But in practice, we come up against certain barriers. And the barrier, we can say, well, that's as far as I go. I'm not going to go any further than that. But then it bothers you. You will not go any further than that.

[39:52]

So then the barrier becomes a big wall. And then the more you don't want to do it, the bigger the wall gets. But it's actually... Often, it's just like a piece of paper, and you just... You can go through, but that piece of paper looks like a great wall. Is it the other way around? Oh, the great wall is really a great wall? But when we come to a wall, you know, we can go this way, or we can go this way, which is usual. Or we can go through. Yeah. What's the difference between a barrier and a boundary? Our mind. Yes, it's our mind. So we talk about setting boundaries, but not setting up barriers.

[41:05]

Like, you know, it's healthy to have boundaries. Yes, we all have boundaries. But it depends on the context. So what kind of boundaries are you talking about? I would be somewhat rhetorical. Okay. Yes. A barrier, you know, it depends... That also needs a context. So when we talk about generalities, it becomes philosophical. So it's better to talk about certain boundaries or certain barriers. And then it's not so rhetorical. Well, there was a time in my life where I worked many hours, 12-14 hour days.

[42:13]

And at first I thought it was too much. And then I realized, actually, I could do this. And I continued to do this, and I kind of got worn out. And sometimes people would say, well, you should take care of yourself more. And of course, I had a lot of enthusiasm. And so it's kind of, you know, where is taking care of oneself becoming a hindrance to moving forward? Yes. You know, taking too much care. When work is fun. The barrier is, this is work. The lack of the unbounded boundary is, this is fun. It's all up here. We can make something interesting and satisfying, or we can make it miserable. It's all up to us. It's all up to us.

[43:20]

We create heaven and hell. There ain't no other heaven and hell except the ones that we create, even when we are oppressed. So the challenge of our life is to, each one has our own challenge. And we're all put into a different situation. I think of it, I thought of it one time as, we're all sitting in this big space, room, and each one of us is given a little present with a ribbon around it. And we get the little box, and we open the ribbon, and it says, this is what you do, this is what happens to you in your life. What are you going to do about it? How will you manage this? How will you take care of this? How can you make this place heaven or hell? The stuff that happens to us is just what we have to work with.

[44:34]

That's the stuff we have to work with. Whatever we get is what we have to work with. And we may or may not ask for it, but we're always asking for it anyway. We're always asking for it. Nevertheless, but we think, well, this is what happens to me. Okay, this is what happens to me, and how do I deal with it? So how I deal with what happens to me, that's what our life is. We can make it heaven or hell. But we blame circumstances. Soon as we blame the circumstances, we're lost. It's not about what comes to me is the raw material that I have to work with. I can't blame it. Even if I can complain, I can do what I want, you know, that's okay, complain. But basically, it's how we respond to what happens.

[45:42]

We can respond with anger, attachment, resentment, jealousy, what all that. Or we can respond with non-attachment, love, forgiveness, or whatever. It's all up to us. It occurred to me in this conversation that sometimes the appropriate response is to give someone some feedback. Yeah, oh yeah, feedback, fine. And to say, wow, this is a really enthusiastic organization, company, whatever. And these 14-hour days are too long for this body and mind to be able to do that. And they can say, well, they can give you back the gift and say, well,

[46:50]

you know, we really want to give you those 14 hours. And I can say, well, I really want to give you my resignation letter. Right. So there's always the, you know, all that is true, right? But nevertheless, basically, it's how we respond. Basically, it's how we respond. But what you, you know, you can talk to the boss, you can get fired, all kinds of things that you can do. That's true. Basically, it's how we respond to the circumstances that create, like Charlie Chaplin. You know, he gets, in the end, you know, everything falls apart and he's whistling Dixie. The little trap, you know.

[47:52]

You know, he goes through all this emotional stuff and all that. But in the end, he comes out okay. He goes through the carnival and he comes out okay. A great model. It sometimes seems that we have to protect ourselves so that we can get through the carnival and get to the end and be happy. But in fact, we're encountering our boundaries and barriers to overcome. It's an amazing challenge. It's an amazing challenge. But that's what I see when you say that. It's just there. Yeah. Yes. Anyway, it's time to stop.

[48:36]

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