I might have a little competition this morning. So if you have trouble hearing, you can move your seat up to the front in the aisle. for a Zen student. For a Zen student, there's no hindrance to practice.

[01:38]

And there's no hindrance to our life. If we understand no hindrance, then we have enlightenment. So our enlightenment is understanding this no hindrance. When we see circumstances as hindrance, various circumstances as hindrance, then That's called a deluded mind. And when we see every circumstance as an opportunity for practice, then we have enlightened mind.

[02:50]

I mean it in its true sense. So even though there may be good and bad circumstances, we can call them good and bad circumstances. In the realm of practice, both good and bad circumstances are equally important to us. Although we can discriminate between good and bad, we can say this is good and this is bad. In another sense, good and bad circumstances are equally important for us.

[03:52]

And we respect both good and bad circumstances. practice with whichever is present equally. We may say this is good and this is bad, but in our practice we treat them both equally. And that's our non-discriminating practice. we don't really cherish one above the other because they both of course, good and bad is our judgment according to our partiality but

[04:57]

Still, we must have some partiality. So, I mean, we like certain things, we don't like other things. And that's natural. We can't really get rid of our partiality exactly. We can't really get rid of our discrimination exactly. But we need to How we do deal with our partiality and our discrimination is to treat everything equally. So in Buddhism or in Zen, we're always talking about non-discriminating mind and non-partiality. But in no way is it possible to get rid of discrimination or partiality.

[06:01]

But even though we have discriminating mind and partiality, we must treat everything equally, good and bad. So whatever comes to us becomes our field of practice and becomes our problem. So for a Zen student, a problem is like a treasure. We don't try to get rid of all of our problems. Even if you do get rid of all of your problems, what you end up with is some other problem. It's like In zazen, you try to get rid of all of your thoughts, but what you end up with is more thoughts. So, as a Zen student, we learn to appreciate the problems that we have.

[07:13]

And this is something that, this is Suzuki Roshi's teaching for us. we learn to appreciate the problems that we have. We would like to have different problems, better problems, nicer problems, but the problems we have are the problems we have. And why we have them, you can speculate on. You can spend a long time speculating on why we have the problems that we have. But the fact is that the problems we have are problems that we have and due to our karma, our actions, our actions produce the fruit and then we eat that fruit. We must eat that fruit. And sometimes it's sweet and sometimes it's bitter. So the problem is like a tool, maybe.

[08:24]

For one person, a problem is maybe a terrible burden. But for someone else, a problem may be a wonderful tool. And if we don't know how to practice, then a problem becomes a terrible burden or something which drives us to anger or frustration or desperation. But for someone who knows how to use anger or frustration or jealousy, desire, these become tools in order to help us to practice.

[09:44]

And sometimes it's described as if you stumble over a rock and you fall down to the earth, then in order to get up again, you push yourself up using the earth. or you grab onto the rock to pull yourself up. So the same object which is the cause of your falling down can be used to help you get back up. So this is called using circumstances, in order to practice, rather than being used by circumstances, or turned by circumstances.

[10:56]

Sometimes we're turned by circumstances, and sometimes we turn circumstances. And we always are, actually. First, we're turned by circumstances. If we don't know how to turn circumstances, then we become a victim. We say, oh, you hurt me, and you did this to me, and these things are happening to me, and so forth. But if we know how to take hold of the circumstances and turn them, then we can move circumstances, and we're not trapped by them. We're not victimized by them. So, the point is to never allow ourselves to be caught by circumstances, which means that we always have to accept what happens.

[12:07]

If you run away, then circumstances are chasing you. And if you hide, circumstances will find you. And the only way to turn circumstances or to use them is to accept them completely. So whatever happens to us, we should accept right away. And how we learn this is in zazen. Zazen is a teacher. If you try to avoid the difficulties you have in Zazen, the more you run, the faster they chase you. And the more you try to hide, they'll find you.

[13:12]

So there's no way out. The only way is to completely become one with what's happening. Become one with the pain in your legs. Become one with the boredom in your mind, or pain in your back, or difficulty with sleepiness or something. or difficulty with the emotional thoughts and feelings. So, relationship between teacher and student should be such that the teacher helps the student to face their circumstances, to accept their circumstances, and to be able to practice with their circumstances.

[14:58]

and to be able to recognize how to do that. When we talk about Zen practice, we think about sitting in Zazen and coming to the Zendo and bowing and so forth. And those are kind of prescribed, a prescribed way of practice. But Our life goes on, on and on and on. And the forms are constantly changing. The circumstances and forms are constantly changing. So when you step out of the zendo, each thing you encounter is another form of the zendo. Just another form. of the zendo. And if you forget that, then you get lost.

[16:11]

It's not that you should think, well, this is the zendo all the time, but we should always remember how we accept what we meet, how we become one with what we meet. And how we become one with the circumstances that we're in are our surroundings. So our surroundings is our world. And our immediate surroundings is our world. That's our universe. No need to worry about the stars and the planets. Just the immediate circumstances. that you're in is what we have to take care of. So mindfulness, awareness, all these things should be carried over into our circumstances, daily circumstances, moment-to-moment circumstances.

[17:29]

And how we deal with those circumstances is the measure of how well we're practicing. So if we miss our opportunity, we're not in such good shape. So a teacher should be able to point out to you where you're missing your opportunity. And that's... When you have some interaction with a teacher, that's the role of the teacher, is to show you or to make you aware of how you're dealing or whether you're on or missing your opportunity.

[18:39]

or merging with your surroundings, merging with your difficulties. Sometimes a teacher can, sometimes you need to be very close to a teacher And sometimes you can be rather intermittent with a teacher. Usually, if we have an opportunity, it's good to be able to practice very closely for some time with a teacher, and then to be intermittent, so that you establish the closeness to begin with. You get the idea, the feeling for what you're doing, some confidence, and then you go away and come back and check in.

[19:53]

That's the way I used to practice for Suzuki Roshi. I would, from time to time, I'd practice very closely with him and get the feeling for what he was telling me. which wasn't always verbal. What he was telling me sometimes was just in a gesture. Japanese teachers are very subtle. I realized that I probably missed about half of what he was telling me or more. Maybe 99% if I had been more sharp. Sometimes I think, oh, if only he was here now. But just passing something, or standing up, or sitting down, or walking. I got some of it.

[20:56]

But it's very invaluable to practice closely with a teacher, and just to be around. And then, so I did that from time to time with him. We practiced very closely. And one of the best times with him was Tassajara for a summer. We were building a rock wall together and moving these very heavy rocks, huge rocks. and putting it in place. And he was very skinny. He must have weighed about 97 pounds and was not well. But he could move these big rocks in an amazing way. He was very... He didn't do it through bodily strength, but just through... Somehow, he had some understanding with the rocks.

[22:07]

And just working with him, and just some casual remarks, but just being with him, for me, was invaluable training. But then, at other times, I wouldn't see him for some time, and I'd go and I'd check in. And when I'd check in, I'd always come back with something very valuable, which was usually another problem. So when I'd see him with some problem, instead of solving the problem for me, he would give me another problem and say, I'm sorry, I gave you another problem, and then he'd laugh. His laughing actually made it much easier for me. because somehow I could see the humor in my desperation.

[23:17]

His laughing at me was actually a kind of help, big help, maybe the most important thing. So, you know, in our practice of Genjo Koan, which is the koan that rises up in our daily life from moment to moment, what makes it a koan? There are various problems, which are just problems, but they're not all koans. They are koans, actually, if you see them that way. But what makes our circumstances in our daily life a koan is that the relative value of the problem and the absolute value of the problem.

[24:33]

If we are only concerned with the relative side, of our problems, then it's not a koan. It's just a problem. But if we understand the absolute side as well as the relative side, then whatever happens becomes a koan. And that's what we have to penetrate. So Dogen used the word emo, Japanese word emo, which means as it is. It has two meanings. One is this is as it is. And the other meaning is a question. What is it? It has both of those meanings.

[25:36]

What is it and it is as it is. And further implications of emo, have to do with the absolute side and the relative side. If we say about this floor, we say, what is it? That's a question. And we can say, this is the floor. But that's in a relative sense.

[26:41]

But in absolute sense, if you say, what is it? You say, well, I don't know. You can't say what it is. So emo kind of means it. And it is a kind of a word that we can apply to everything. You can point to everything. You can say, this is it. You can refer to everything that exists as it. But that's not very personal. It's kind of impersonal. But we can say that everything is it. So in that sense, everything belongs to it. Everything belongs to it. Whatever we point to, we say, that's it, and this is it, and that's it. But then we also say, this is John, and this is the floor, and this is the bell, and this is the picture.

[27:50]

And that's a name we give to all of the various manifestations of it. So it is without without naming it. This is the it which everything belongs to. This is our itself. And John and Mary and the bell and the floor and the picture are also it, but we give them names. So establishing the absolute side and the relative side, and understanding both as it, as one, is our koan, the basis of our koan.

[28:54]

It is what we say it is, but it is not what we say it is. What is it? So I think Suzuki Roshi's, one of his most obvious koans was, what is it? He would say that quite a lot, just in passing. If I sometimes asked him a question, he would say, what is it? He would say it in such a way that you'd know he was presenting you with a koan. What is it? to work with, not to answer, but to work with. So koan is something to work with. And when we accept all of the circumstances of our life as that koan, then we can think of ourselves as a Zen student.

[29:57]

And you know what your practice is. What is it? If you know how to deal with it as a koan, with whatever comes up, as part of the ongoing koan of your life, then there's no obstacle. Everything in your life is an opportunity. Depends on what we're looking for. depends on what you want. If you want to penetrate the koan, then you don't worry so much about circumstances. So this is Bodhisattva, you know, is always somewhat optimistic.

[31:19]

Not completely optimistic, but somewhat optimistic. You should be able to laugh. Although we take ourselves and everyone else seriously, we should be careful not to take everything too seriously. And since our life is always changing, and that's the most dominant thing in our life, we should take the opportunity that that affords us. you to do something, it's helpful if you can manage to do it and it gives you a way of working with your teacher and it gives your teacher a way of working with you.

[33:01]

If you resist So you should find a teacher that you trust. Not through hearsay, but through your own feelings. You should judge by your own feelings. Always. And teachers should help you to be in touch with your own feelings. So a good teacher will help you to help throw you out, you know, on your own.

[34:24]

so you can learn something by yourself. And you learn to trust your own feelings. Actually, that's what's most important. For you to know what's right, not to depend on what the teacher says, but for you to know. Sometimes you may argue with your teacher, or feel you have some different view, and you shouldn't stick to it,

[35:32]

But if you really, you should know that what you feel is right. And a teacher should help you too. give you the opportunity to make that happen. Because ultimately, it's not what you believe from somebody else that counts, but what you know in your own heart. So when you have your own confidence and understanding, that's when you can assume some leadership yourself.

[36:47]

Only when you have that confidence will someone ask you to have some leadership. But not false confidence, but real confidence. So if you have a good teacher, maybe someday you'll give a lecture and you can quote your teacher. Not because what he said was right, you think, but because you know it yourself. because it's also your own experience. So you can't quote people as long as it's also verified by your own experience.

[37:53]

So the most important thing is to be able to stand on your own feet and to accept the difficulties and the problems that you have use them as an opportunity. If you can do that, your life will be very joyful, no matter what kind of circumstances you're in. Do you have any questions? Do you prefer to see the absolute in your problems? Seeing the absolute in your problems, can you be more specific in what you mean by that?

[39:29]

Do you know the relative of the absolute? Well... It's not that you see the absolute, you know, in your problem. But your problem is not just some isolated event. It has its own definition. Your problem has its own definition. your problem that you have is supported by your life and the circumstances around your life and is interdependent with all of the factors surrounding your life.

[40:52]

But we tend to see our problem usually in a very narrow sense. And we try to solve our problems somewhat simplistically. Sometimes we can, sometimes just to cut something off. works. If we try to dismantle our problem piece by piece, it may be okay, but more difficult. So, since our problem is really interconnected with so many factors, if we try to take it apart piece by piece there's no end to taking it apart, because there's so many factors.

[41:58]

So, sometimes, you know, it helps to be just straightforward. And we talk about Monjushri's sword, which cuts through delusions very quickly. Instead of having a dull knife, you know, we just go, and then, which means to turn. When you see that things are going the wrong way, you cut and turn and go the right way. And how you can do that is because your life is supported by everything. As soon as you turn and go the other way, your life will be supported in that way by everything. Sometimes we put ourselves into certain kinds of circumstances that keep getting worse and worse and worse.

[43:16]

I remember when I had a girlfriend once. And I should have known right away that it wasn't going to work because of the signs. I didn't pay attention to the signs. And I just kept getting deeper and deeper, you know. And there was no way to get out of it because I couldn't take apart all the pieces, too many pieces. What I should have done was just said, I know this isn't going to work and turned away from it. I couldn't do that because there's so many things involved, hope and so forth, desire. But if I had done that, I could have moved. That's, in a sense, using the opportunity.

[44:23]

If you really accept the truth of your situation, then you take the... Especially in a difficult situation, you can take the sword of truth and cut off the root so that you don't get enmeshed. So the more you keep getting enmeshed in your situation, the more you lose sight of the absolute sense of the situation, and you become enmeshed in the relative side only. Because in this circumstance there were two people in a relationship that just keeps going down, down, down. They no longer see the absolute side, they only see the relative side. because they've left out the truthful factors in the situation and they're only going on desire and hope.

[45:33]

So if you know how to assess the situation and deal with it right away in its truthful aspect You stay free. And that freedom is freedom of within the Absolute. Because you're not tied to any situation and you can move freely. And when you can move freely from one moment to the next without being tied to any situation through feelings and emotions and desire, then you move freely with circumstances, and then you understand what is the absolute. So you may have a problem, but the problem becomes a kind of koan, and the deeper you get, say you have a problem, the same problem of two people, and you keep getting deeper and deeper into the situation, your koan becomes stronger and stronger, because

[46:48]

you're looking for some solution. And the solution that you're looking for won't come about in just a relative way. You have to understand what the absolute side of that is. And if you don't have some kind of guidance, you can't penetrate it. can't penetrate what is the absolute side of that. And it's the same with any kind of conflict. We have all kinds of conflicts, but we keep going on this. That doesn't resolve that conflict. Only when you can penetrate it from the absolute side does it become clear what's and what to do. So the world is always in this state of chaos and problems.

[47:55]

Maybe not be very clear. Not so clear though. Yeah. Bill? I was wondering about the sword. Say a person walks around in life, as you just were describing, and engages relationships with people. They get a little difficult, so maybe they cut it off. And just make a life of that. And have a very strong Zen practice with a life of that style of relations. I don't know, I just... Well, it's okay, depending... If that person doesn't have compassion, then it's not so good. In the same way that if they had relationships, it wouldn't be so good. But if the person doesn't make relationships out of desire, but treats everyone with compassion and helpfulness, then it's much better

[49:14]

So, ideally, that's what a monk should be like. If a monk isn't married, doesn't have relationships, either a man or a woman, but whose whole life is dedicated to compassionate action, then it doesn't make any difference. Because they're always dealing with everyone in a compassionate, loving way. hopeful way. That's, even if we do have relationships, it still should be what we should be doing. It's harder, much harder. When you get tangled up with somebody, you know, it's harder to be compassionate always. So that's a big challenge, yes. Well, as you were talking, I kept thinking about a column, which I can't remember very well, of somebody swallowing the whole ocean at one time.

[50:24]

One gulp? One gulp, yeah. And it seems to me that part of it is cutting off what you need to cut off, and the other part is taking the whole gulp. And what a teacher, you were talking about learning non-verbal things from non-verbally from Suzuki Roshi. I mean, in a way that's what the teacher is helping you swallow him. Yeah. Yeah. Well, actually, it means to swallow the whole world in one gulp. It means to cut off all partiality. And so that you're one completely with everything. It's a kind of metaphor.

[51:26]

But yes, if you're completely one with your teacher in that way, you're also one with everything, if you have a good teacher. It means, you know, without hesitation. It's kind of like Manjushri's sword, which cuts everything at one stroke. It's also a kind of metaphor for sudden enlightenment, to cut off all entanglements, which means partial views and attachments and just be everything.

[52:42]

Yes. I was a little curious what happened in your example, in your own case with your girlfriend. Did you come to a turn for her? I don't mean to be intrusive, but sometimes you can go along and go along know sometimes when I'm going down those paths sooner. It seems to sometimes take me a long, long time. Well, in that case, I had to go all the way down to the bottom. So it was very difficult. I learned a lot from it, though. I learned a lot in that situation. You came to the point where you realized it just wasn't possible. That puts something of what I was angling for when I asked that last question.

[54:14]

For me, I have some faith in the value of going to the bottom of things and really learning from them, you know, suffering from them or whatever. And say though, a person walks around and every time things get a little rough, you know, you step in the water and then the next step is deep. you can feel with the sword, maybe, that it's deep, so you step back. And, you know, always are stepping back. You never go to the bottom of these things. So, I feel like you have to, you know. Or, you kind of know. Yeah, I understand. That's true. Even though, on the one hand, you can say, Be careful, you know. On the other hand, you have to dive in and go all the way down to the bottom and find out what it's about. That's true.

[55:16]

You may have to do it over and over again, but it's best if you don't have to do it over and over again. You should do it at least once. Yeah, at least once. So that's why it's hard to tell somebody what to do. You know, although you may want to tell somebody what to do, you can't always. And you have to see them go through whatever they have to go through. And that's really important. And maybe even encourage them to do it. Even though you know it's not going to have a very nice outcome, you still encourage them to do it. So,

[56:23]

we should think about this aspect. That's a good question that you asked me, and I'll think about it some more.

[57:15]

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