Good morning. Today's speaker is the ubiquitous Ross Blum, longtime Zen practitioner and senior student here at Berkeley Zen Center, and also Pete's coffee maven, who we suspect is secretly in charge of everything, unbeknownst to them, like a fool, like an idiot. Well, thank you all for being here today. So we just chanted the gatha on introducing the teaching. which is an auspicious moment in our practice, which is why the words feel so heavy and important.

[01:04]

Having been Shuso, or head student, I had an opportunity to give a talk here formally once a year. And in preparing for this talk, I thought, Well, what am I doing the other 364 days out of the year? And what about the people who haven't been shuso, as well as myself before that time back in 96? What are we doing? When are we teaching? When are we receiving the teaching? Is it just at 10.15 on a Saturday at Berkeley Zen Center? Admittedly, some of this talk is based on speculation, but most of it is based on my experience, which some of you may speculate about. Nevertheless, this tradition or teaching comes from an old monastic form of people who left home and wandered the hills and valleys of India.

[02:17]

So the teaching was formalized and the Buddha who founded this teaching had a cadre of practitioners and there was a sense that he was the teacher and they would they came to listen and receive his instruction and they would go out and share his understanding in their own unique way with others. And Buddhism and the strain that we follow went from India, China, Korea, Japan and other countries and so And in America, while we do have monastics and we have the forms of monasticism, by and large our practice is a lay practice. And within that lay practice we have to find a way to express ourselves and our understanding to the world outside the gate. So hopefully today there will be something I'll say that will inspire or remind you

[03:22]

that we all have this opportunity and potential inside of us and we can share it with others. We have to be careful because the forms that we follow here and the style is not a proselytizing teaching of the Buddha's words. It's more subtle. And as Sojo Roshi often says, it's like branching streams flowing in the darkness. It permeates the culture. We just finished a practice period mind is away and that's a really great koan for us to keep in mind because if we can maintain ordinariness then the extraordinary will reveal itself and we won't have to wait for a hundred thousand million countless for that to happen.

[04:39]

Back in the Tang Dynasty in China, a layperson received the transmission, or the teaching, from the fifth ancestor. His name was Weineng, or Daikan Eino in Japanese, as we chant. And this layperson was a little unusual in that he hadn't been in the sangha for a long time, or that monastery, but he had an understanding of the of the teaching, and so he was given the opportunity to transmit that teaching to subsequent generations. So as the story goes, there was some jealousy and rivalry amongst the other students that he practiced with, and his teacher said, you better get out of here, and go into hiding, and mature your practice, and then bring the teaching to light a little later. So he did that, and in the process of running away from the monastery, he was overcome by a fellow by the name of We Ming.

[06:09]

And We Ming was really passionate and serious about practice, and he wanted to know was, that he didn't have, and that was understood by the fellow in front of him, and was rewarded, so to speak, or given the empowerment to carry it on. So there's a record in the Platform Sutra of this story, and I'll just read a little bit of it. The background is that We Ming asked We Nang You know, what is this esoteric teaching? What is this thing that you've understood? And here it goes. Wee Nung says, since the object of your coming is the Dharma, refrain from thinking of anything and keep your mind blank. I will then teach you.

[07:13]

When he had done this for a considerable time, I said, When you are thinking of neither good nor evil, what is at that particular moment? Venerable sir, your real nature, literally original face. As soon as he heard this, he at once became enlightened. But he further asked, apart from these esoteric sayings and esoteric ideas handed down by the patriarch from generation to generation, are there any other esoteric teachings? Guillaume replied, what I can tell you is not esoteric. If you turn your light inwardly, you will find what is esoteric within you. So esoteric has a

[08:16]

feeling of something very special, otherworldly and unattainable. And the sixth ancestor is saying, just look within and find the esoteric within you. You don't need to run around. You don't need to look around anywhere for it. It's right here. And I think that the people who created that gatha that we chant before lectures on Saturday were addressing this. that it's incomparably profound and very rare. When can you and when can we have an opportunity to actually see it? And the sixth answer says, well, look within and you'll see it right here. But our conditioning is such that we're always looking outside of ourselves for something. And we don't look within, so we miss these opportunities. It's a beautiful world that we live in and there's lots of eye candy to look around at.

[09:26]

So the teaching to look inward is tempted by the beautiful flowers that fill our universe. So can we appreciate the flowers and the beauty so-called outside of us and stay connected to something deep within us? That's the question. Because the separation of wanting it calm inside with all of the beautiful and distracting and ugly things outside keep us separate. and make us suffer, create suffering and we're all here in this room because we suffer a little or a lot and we want to lessen that and there's a lesson in that I was at the Berkeley Bowl parking lot about a month ago and I ran into

[10:49]

a person who used to sit here, a very devoted student, and we caught up a little bit on our lives and asked her how it was going and she said that when she meditates at home she gets really upset because she wants to cultivate and return to that calm place inside but her mind she's a very bright person she's very busy and gets very distracted and she wants it to be calm and quiet so I smiled and I said well yeah I like calm and quiet too and I said you know have you ever thought that within that calm and quiet of your sitting and of your life that you can be aware of the myriad things so-called outside of yourself and be okay with that. And she didn't think so at first.

[12:00]

There's a little chirping bird outside. Sounds like a chirping bird. That's a pleasant sound for some people, and it can be distracting for others. So it's not about whether it's a good or bad sound, but it's something in our life. And at the same time, we, through Zazen, cultivate a big space here. to receive that and accept that. And it's no longer separate. We actually experience, directly experience the sound of the bird, the movement of the leaves of the trees, with the wind blowing, the movement on our hair, if we have any left, as it blows through the zendo, as us. It's no longer separate, and this is our life. There's no more suffering.

[13:05]

It's just this. And then in the next moment, oh, it's too cold. Oh, I wish I was more awake so I could hear the teaching. Whatever's going on is this creation of separation. So how do we bring it back? Well, an ordinary mind that is reminded of awareness of breath an upright posture sets the tone to come back to zero. When I first started sitting I used to buy a lot of Zen books and Buddhist books that I used to read voraciously. I was very excited about that and then after a while it kind of faded, and I don't have much juice to formally study, and I really admire people who do, and are able to express themselves through the formal teachings, sutras, and writings of the teachers of the past.

[14:21]

It's a very important piece of our practice. And I suffered a little bit about that, because I wanted to be different than who I am. My dad was very smart. My mother is pretty bright and I'm a little lazy. So over time I've come to accept the fact that I don't formally study so much. However, the teachings are everywhere and there's opportunities to learn at any given moment. Pete's Coffee is one place that I learned a lot about myself and about others. And here, Zizendo is another place. So I received a teaching the other day in the garden. And I wasn't expecting it, but there it was.

[15:24]

I'm more of a city person than a garden and landscape and so-called nature person. I like sort of flat, firm concrete on the floor and stuff like that. But anyway, I found myself moving out from New York to here, where people are really into this nature thing. And as a resident, I have a responsibility for watering a fair amount of the garden. And this is not my favorite thing to do, but it's a responsibility and I try to do it as best I can. And I feel my resistance when it comes up about having to water the garden versus doing the other thing that I do. So I do the west, north, and east side of the building right over here. And on the north side of this building is called the Abbott's Garden. It was designed and created in part by Susan Green, who was a head gardener here for many years and who suddenly passed away from a tragic illness over a weekend in a hospital.

[16:41]

She was in her late 40s, early 50s, and she planted that beautiful maple tree by the Dokasan Hut that stands really high, so she's still here. And there's some memorial stones back there to mark and remember some of our ancestors here from Berkeley Zen Center. So it's a very special place. It's near where I live. And I feel very lucky to be so near this. And yet, I have resistance about watering and all of that little habit. So the other day, I was checking out the new hose that our head gardener, Nancy McCullen, provided for the hose faucet there and wheeled it out. I was watering the garden and feeling I'm taking care of the garden. I'm watering the baby tears that'll get nourished and grow and look all nice and puffy and people will smile and like all that.

[17:42]

And I'm watering over the rocks and feeling people who are remembered there. And we were going to water up and down the bamboo, because it's not just the roots. And then all of a sudden I had this realization that I was no longer watering, but the garden was watering me. And it wasn't like I was in an outdoor fountain and the water was gushing over me. It was more experiences, it was more subtle than that. But it was a sense of it was no longer I was doing it, it was doing me. And we talk about this from time to time with regard to the various things that we interact with. And it was a very nice moment that didn't last very long. It didn't go super, super deep in my consciousness where I'm just walking around feeling I'm getting watered all the time.

[18:49]

It wasn't like that. But it was a reminder that actually things are not so terrible and that I am being watched and watered and taken care of by things as I make an effort to take care of things, that it works both ways. And we all have moments, big and small, of these affirmations that there's more going on in the universe than just me. So reflecting in a more studious or academic angle from what I felt in the Abbott's Garden was a sense of being insentient.

[20:05]

We have these various senses to take in the world and our life is defined by how we feel and see and build our sense of self. Being so-called insentient is an opportunity to let go of the senses, let go of the small self and allow the senses to freely receive and put back out into the universe. without Ross getting in the way. And when we sit with Zazen, we have moments of that. When we're watering the garden, we'll have moments of that. When we're making love with our partner, we'll have moments of that. I had a feeling I should

[21:14]

bring a text to a Saturday lecture as a springboard or inspiration to augment my presentation to you all. So looking at my bookshelf, I saw the Transmission of Light, which is a text from the 14th century in Japan of Keizan Zenji, whose stories of the ancestors who preceded him and stories of their enlightenment and they're inspiring to people. So I pulled the book off the shelf and I opened it up to where this card was and I look at it and it's a picture of Maitreya or the future Buddha that our friend Rebecca Maeno gave to me when she borrowed the book some time ago and she had picked up this postcard in Japan And Rebecca, for those who don't know, created this Prajnaparamita here on the altar.

[22:16]

And she also created the Jizo in the abbot's garden. And I was her Jisha, or attendant, during her practice period in 1991. And for my practice period in 1996, Jin Young made me this book wrap. here, that I use once a year. There's lots of history in our temple, which has only been around since 1967, which is a lot of history here. So this is a story, a part of a story of Dongshan, who is the founder of the Sota school in China. And he says, Thus, good people, by inspecting fully, you become keenly aware of this subtle consciousness.

[23:19]

It is called non-sentient. It is called non-sentient because there is no running off after sounds and forms and no bondage to passionate consciousness. This principle must be preached carefully. Therefore, when you hear preaching about the non-sentient, Do not think that this refers to fences and walls. It is simply that when you are not attached to emotion and thought, and your perceptions are not scattered, the subtle consciousness is clear and unobscured, clearly and distinctly bright. Even though you attempt to grasp this realm, it is not possible. Since it is not bound by form, it does not exist. Even though you attempt to get rid of it, you cannot leave it. Since it has accompanied you since time immemorial, it is not non-existent. Still, it is not the working of consciousness, knowing or thought, much less something connected to the four elements or the five aggregates.

[24:27]

Hong Xiu said, There is knowing apart from passionate thought. and discrimination. There is a body that is not the four elements and the five aggregates. That is, it is the subtle consciousness, always preaching keenly. So when I read that passage, it reminded me of my experience of watering in the garden. It reminded me of looking around the Zendo at either eye candy or things that are upsetting to me or details about what needs to get fixed. It reminded me of my friend in the parking lot. wanting it to be different than what it is in being accepting and content with just being present.

[25:37]

And I thought about how invested we are in our ascensions that it's difficult to be insentient. And even in the midst of insentience, in feeling the zendo, hearing the bird, we have sentience. It's always with us. We can't leave it behind. I feel that the Buddha was teaching the lesson of suffering is

[26:47]

seeing how the sentience and insentience can work together harmoniously and we can be at peace with the various things that make our mind move. Are there any questions or comments? Is that Judy? Yeah, hi. Hi, thank you. What do you mean by look inside? Looking with the ears. What does that mean?

[27:49]

Can you hear it? No. Please come to Pete's for a cup of coffee and we'll talk about it. I did that once, I'll do it again. Peter? When you explained the sort of co-dependent nature of sentience and insentience, or something that exists together, I wasn't sure that that was the same understanding as you were referring to when you brought it up in the first place as a teaching that don't count. Can you say something more about that? How did you hear it, that they were distinct or different?

[29:01]

Well, I don't remember very well exactly what you said when you were referring to that teaching, but then when you explained what you meant about the sentientists and the insentients kind of being together, it seemed like that's about... because at first I thought, well, what's the difference between the sentientists just being fully present? What's the difference? Yeah, and when you explained it, that made sense to me. But I don't know exactly how you understood Deng Xian's teaching of these sentient beings. Well, I have a habit of trying to explain things. Trying to break it. Well, I don't know about trying to break it or not. But that is my habit and conditioning. And so I think it's easier for people to understand my take on something than, say, reading Doshan, who's not explaining it.

[30:10]

He's just saying it out as it is. But I feel that in this moment, explaining or sharing an understanding didn't articulate, or at least it was recorded by, as Kazan. That's my sense of it. I'd actually like to take a moment and ask Sojin if he would like to elaborate on that piece, or if you have any other thing to share. Well, I think that we get caught by statements. And a statement is not mis-ignored when someone makes a statement. sentient or insentient. Things are either sentient or non-sentient. This is like pointing at something at the moment. When we do start explaining, we miss the poignancy of a statement.

[31:17]

So the poignancy of a statement is not necessarily a fact. It's simply a way of turning our mind to get off of our way of thinking about something. So you can say, all sentient beings and insentient beings are sentient beings. The whole universe is not even sentient beings. Or you can say, we are totally insentient. when we let go of our sentiency. But at the same time, it's just a way of talking about something. It shouldn't be taken necessarily as facts. As soon as we start taking these statements as facts, then we get caught. Because what the statements are doing is taking our factual way of thinking away.

[32:20]

with wonder, you know, nothing like wonder, because wonder takes away all of our preconception. So a statement, like the statement that you were stating, are meant to give us the opportunity to have some wonder, and we let go of everything else, and there is this wonder, wonderful, So wonder means surprise. Stay with the surprise. Stay with the empty feeling. That's my take on it. Thank you. A friend of mine wrote a book called Yelling at Bees, which was his sort of exploration into his own mind when he got upset about these bees buzzing around and he was yelling at them and then he realized they don't understand what I'm doing.

[33:33]

Anyway, so it's a rather long exposé, self-published, of his ramblings and all that but there was something that was very poignant in it that I wrote down and saved which was religion has enough truth in it to make it believable and enough mystery in it to make it interesting. But if it's too much mystery, then it's hard to follow. If it's too much so-called truth, then it just becomes this dogmatic thing that people follow blindly. So how do you balance those two? Thank you for your talk, Russ. I just thank you for the way you are consistently that... I don't have to explain, I can't, but there's a spaciousness there that really touches me and allows me to discover the way it is in such and such wonder.

[34:45]

Thank you. Yeah. My experience of myself and others when there's, well for myself it's definitely suffering or agitation, others are perceiving it as such. There's a lack of space and there's a hurriedness and a closeness of one's being. This morning, we have a formal meal in the Zendo, it's called Oryoki, and I was the head server, so in helping remind my serving crew of the opportunity to offer a tray or offer a pot of food and then take it back, to take a half a second after they receive the food before taking the tray back gives a sense of space between you and them, and it doesn't feel rushed. And it feels more spacious.

[35:54]

And within that space, there's an opportunity to compose oneself and be more open to teachings. I forgot your name, but I remember finding your wallet. Well, thank you for rescuing my wallet. I was really taken by your expression of the garden was watering. I broke through and the garden was watering me. And I was wondering, there's a mystery in this question, I guess, and maybe you can answer it. I was wondering if it's possible you had that breakthrough because you had so much resistance initially to the habit of learning. I think that's a really good point. I think that the tension and resistance that we have in our minds around certain things that we've been conditioned or learned growing up.

[36:58]

The tension of being in this immovable position of Zazen allows an opportunity of proneness to kind of breaking through to another side. I think about my interpersonal relationships where they've been sometimes difficult and there's a tension there and having these moments of opening and connecting with someone or something that I've had resistance to there seems to be a relationship there versus something that's kind of flat and uninteresting and not so buzzy and they tend to be equal like the passion and disinterest or dislike for somebody or something seems to have an equal sort of inverse, sort of the shadow side that comes out, that's revealed, that is just as alive and validating, but coming from a whole other place. Yeah, I think there's something to that. You know, keeping the question, as Dr. Boucher encourages us, you know, what is it?

[38:05]

There's a tension there. What is it? What is it that reveals it for us? And without that question, the likelihood of coming to the gate and getting on the cushion is pretty rare. So I think we all have that question of what is it and have that tension. And if we practice for a while, we'll have these glimpses and openings, which isn't it, but it's it. Yeah. Thank you for your talk. Yes, indeed. Hi, yeah. Hi. I get a little nervous, so I just wanted to read a sentence or two of thanking you. Oh, sure. I want to thank you for your modesty and your honesty. And that just comes through for me so much when you talk. And the ways of bringing the outside into the inner part and the understanding of that.

[39:11]

It seemed to be clear to me, a little more than usual. Thank you. Thank you. Well, you know, we don't change so much, and we've known each other for actually a very long time. And I'm reminded of a teaching where it's a spiral, and on the spiral are these little points, and as we continue to sit, but we get blessed with some new relationships and thanks for that. I'm just struck with your honesty and how it just helps me so much to be able to... Well, you know, I used to not be this way. I used to lie all the time. Yeah, you got me at a good time. My brother, my sister, and I are the same family, and we're all very different, and our dispositions are kind of in place.

[40:24]

And so my disposition has been pretty much this way, but I've had some very deeply humbling experiences in my life. somehow or another, the desire to survive and move through that made me a lot more, I feel, more honest and more forthcoming. It doesn't mean that I don't keep some cards close, but I find that revealing my hand feels good and it cultivates relationships. I remember being asked, well, I could never give a talk in front of so many people. I was really scared. Are you nervous and all that? And while there is some tension, to get back to your question a moment ago, there's a tension that can come up from time to time. supporting the practice and in this moment I stepped out of the shadows and I'm in the light for a day, well, wait a year and come back again.

[41:31]

There's that love and support. So in any loving relationship, you know, it's a cliche but honesty is the best policy and then we can support the practice and keep it going. Give and take for equitable. Yeah, and then there's no giving and no taking. We're just kind of, we're just here, we're just here talking. But we introduce the talk with this very formal presentation that sets the tone. And it's incumbent upon me to present the material in such a way that it's accessible, but also commensurate with 2,500 years of people who really busted butt to bring it here. So I hope that Let's get this three-strike rule here. Thank you. Yes, you're welcome. Thanks, sir.

[42:28]

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