Good morning. Good morning. Welcome to Berkeley Zen Center. For anyone who is new, I see some faces that I don't recognize. If you're new to Zen or new to Buddhism, I hope I can offer you a taste of the wonderful Buddha Dharma today. What I'd like to talk about is taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. What we call our three jewels. But before I talk about that, I want to acknowledge that we're going through very difficult times here in our country.

[01:01]

Buddhist practice does not exclude that. We work on ourselves and we're part of this world. So I want to acknowledge a couple of things that have happened, which I'm sure everyone knows. But just to get settled, A few days ago, a judge in Wisconsin was arrested for supposedly protecting immigrants that were meant to be deported. I don't know the whole story. I don't know if anyone does, but that's what I got from them. And we lost this, a couple days ago, a very great Bodhisattva in Pope Francis, who showed boundless love and caring for all human beings, and who spoke to our vice president either on Easter or Easter weekend, just perhaps a day or two before he passed away,

[02:30]

saying you must respect and protect these people. I'm not quoting him, but you, I'm sure all heard that. So, the question, One of the questions for me is how to practice. And there's part of me that really wants safety and it seems very, it is very threatening out there. There's a lot of blame and scapegoating going on to immigrants. Transgender people is another that's another area of blame.

[03:41]

People of brown skin, poor people. So what do we do? I mean, there's no place to hide. I don't believe there is, but our practice offers us refuge. So I'll say a little bit about what taking refuge is. It used to be that when you officially become a Buddhist, you go through a ceremony and say, I take refuge in Buddha. I take refuge in Dharma. I take refuge in Sangha. The Buddha, in a concrete sense, was a person who lived in India and wanted to understand why there was so much suffering in the world.

[04:59]

He practiced meditation, left his comfortable palace, Brahman family, and discovered that the mind, that we can be free of greed, hate, and delusion. And that we can release ourselves from our karma. And I will go into what that is, what I mean by that. The Dharma is the teachings, the sutras. A lot of what I'm gonna talk about today is the Dharma. And then the Sangha is the community of practitioners. So at this moment, the Sangha is us, us in this room and the people on Zoom listening to this talk. But in a bigger sense, Sangha is a community of people.

[06:13]

I like to think of it as the wider world. I will talk a little more about all those things. I'll just say I don't think there's true safety in this world. I'd like to think there was, but there isn't. And one of the basic tenets of Buddhism is the impermanent nature of everything that we think we have. Our home, spouse, friends, children, job. Whatever possessions we treasure are not going to last forever, including oneself. So that's a basic tenet. But we can find a kind of safety in the refuges.

[07:23]

It's a spiritual safety. And we are real people in this room. There's a kind of safety in the Sangha. One thing I want to say about taking refuge is that it's a volitional act. It's not a passive act. It's a very sincere declaration and intention. I take refuge in Buddha really means that I believe that I and all other beings have the capacity to awaken from habitual greed.

[08:35]

and hatred and ignorance. Karma, just to give you a definition, karma really means volitional action or action. And just to give a simple example, if you plant an apple seed, you will get an apple tree, right? you're not going to get a mango if you plant an apple seed. So similarly with deeds, if you carry out an act of violence, there's likely to be ramifications of violence. So through our lives, We are continually planting seeds when we speak to others the way we speak to them, our livelihood.

[09:52]

And seeds are planted in us. You know, there was some billboard in Oakland advertising guns. I mean, look, that plants a seed. And there's so many positive ways we can plant seeds, just simple things. Being kind to someone, holding the door for them in the grocery store, you know, simple things like that. That person could have had a really bad day and was about to scream at their partner. When you smiled at them and opened the door, that could have totally altered their domestic life. I've been a little bit obsessed with history.

[11:03]

since 2016, since the first election of Donald Trump, and my question was, how did we get here? I mean, I really wanted to know, how did we get here? Because I was shocked, and perhaps I shouldn't have been so shocked, But I just, I felt I didn't know enough about history, which is a lot of seed planting. One thing happens, another thing happens, another thing happens. And I was just thinking about some events, for example, In 1619, the first ship arrived with African slaves in the Virginia colony.

[12:10]

Look what's happened since then. In 1938, in Germany, all over Germany and parts of Austria, there were mobs destroying Jewish homes, hospitals, schools, 1,400 synagogues were destroyed in two days. That was known as Kristallnacht, or the night of breaking glass. And when I read about Gaza, I think about that. I mean, there's a big connection between all these things, which you know. Then in 1963, Martin Luther King gave a speech, I had a dream, or I have a dream. And the essence of his dream, the way I take it, is that we can overcome hatred.

[13:21]

He was talking about racism, among other things, not just that. And then our abbot Hozon. Now, for those who don't know, our abbot passed away in December. And he was only abbot for a few years, but he practiced here for about 38 years. And he went to India, I think it was about once a year. He went to India and he worked and taught a group of people from the cast of untouchables. And he taught them the Buddha Dharma as a teacher and a mentor, as an advisor. And some of those people are still, they're part of our Sangha.

[14:24]

They join us on Zoom fairly often. And then there's Pope Francis. So, in taking refuge in Buddha, we affirm our confidence that we can awaken. We don't have to embrace the beliefs of hatred. And we here at BCC, we take the refuges often, at least once a month.

[15:31]

We have a bodhisattva ceremony every month where we chant these refuges. And we also chant to avow our tangled up mishagas of karma. And also, when we acknowledge our karma, we say that it comes from beginningless greed, hate, and delusion. born of body, speech, and mind. So that's born of body, our actions, our speech, our words, and our thoughts. I particularly love the word beginningless because it's almost blameless.

[16:38]

I mean, I picked out a few dates here. You know, 1938, 1963, but incidents like this have gone back since the beginning of time, and time in Buddhism has no beginning. And I appreciate this because it's blameless. When we acknowledge our karma, we're acknowledging it but we're not blaming because the commitment is to break the habit, to let go. So each time we chant these refuges, I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in Sangha, I take refuge in Dharma, we are renewing our faith. And faith is a really important part

[17:39]

of our practice. We don't talk about it so much because we meditate, we're kind of, we appear to be solitary in a sense, we're sitting with our own minds, but faith in our capacity to plant wholesome, positive seeds in the world that will ripple and create more goodness. It's a confidence that we can do that and that we can awaken. Buddhism is not theistic in the sense that we don't advocate for God or no God, it's kind of non-theistic, but we do have certain beliefs.

[18:45]

So in addition to the capacity to wake up, the Dharma, taking refuge in the Dharma, includes Buddha's teaching of the Four Noble Truths. And I'll just mention what the first truth is, which is the truth, in life there is suffering. We have to acknowledge that suffering exists. We're not going to escape from it completely. We can change our relationship to it. So what we're really, in a way, we can seek shelter. We can't get rid of greed, hate, and delusion, but we can turn it around.

[19:53]

Oops. So taking refuge in Sangha. Sangha is the community of Buddhist practitioners. That's how it was originally, back in Buddhist time. He always had a big gathering of monks and nuns. And Sangha is very important because For one thing, we support each other. We practice together. We watch each other practice. Usually it's in silence.

[21:00]

We have sashins where, sashins are like retreats where we spend all day sitting usually from 5 in the morning until into the evening, and it's in complete silence. But everyone sees and experiences each other's practice. And it's supportive. I forget where I read this, but here's a quote. The importance of Sangha cannot be overestimated. Trying to achieve enlightenment by yourself and only for yourself is like trying to walk uphill during a mudslide. I'm going to read a little quote from this book.

[22:07]

It's called Awakening together by Larry Yang, awakening together the spiritual practice of inclusivity and community. We know that we need to go through the first noble truth in order to see the other side of suffering, to gain freedom from it. If we circumvent, repress, deny, or bypass the first noble truth, we will only create more suffering in the future. This is true of any experience in our lives. We need to turn toward it in order to fully comprehend, fully feel, and fully live that experience. The same is true for our cultural experiences. We need to go through the uniqueness of each of our lives in order to live the connection and interrelatedness that is beyond the differences.

[23:14]

A lot of what this book is about is multicultural. Respecting and acknowledging our differences. Very often in Buddhism you hear phrases like, oh well, we're all one. Yes, that is true, but we also have different experiences. And then he goes on to quote, this is from Suzuki Roshi, one of our founders. Strictly speaking, there are no separate individual experiences. There are just many names for one existence. Sometimes people put a stress on oneness, but this is not our understanding. We do not emphasize any point in particular, even oneness.

[24:23]

Oneness is valuable, but variety is also wonderful. Ignoring variety, people emphasize the one absolute existence. But this is one-sided understanding. In this understanding, there's a gap between variety and oneness. But oneness and variety are the same thing, so oneness should be appreciated in each existence. And then just one more quote from a teacher named John Wellwood that comes out of the same book. We are not just human beings learning to become Buddhas, but also Buddhas waking up in human form, learning to become fully human. And these two tracks of development can mutually enrich each other.

[25:27]

I think I'm gonna stop talking very soon. I just wanna mention a way that we used to, we've gone through several phases of how we chant the refuges here and the words that we say. I said the simple version, but we also have another version, I haven't heard it here recently, but it had a big impact on me, which is, we used to do this at the end of Sishins. I take refuge in Buddha. May all living beings embody the great way resolving to awaken. So there's that word resolve and embodying. I take refuge in Dharma.

[26:42]

May all living beings deeply penetrate the sutras, wisdom like an ocean. So we're not talking about studying and arguing so much or analyzing. I mean, there's that, and that can be helpful. But penetrating the sutras, wisdom like an ocean, Wisdom that fills up everything. I take refuge in Sangha. May all living beings support harmony in the community free from hindrance. This is an ongoing practice of being in a Sangha. Supporting harmony. We're different.

[27:46]

People have different ideas, wishes, karmic formations. Sometimes we rub up against each other. Most of the time we love each other. But the act of supporting harmony is a lot of, it takes a lot of strength. So I will stop now and ask if there are any, if you would like to comment or ask a question. I see Gary. Hi, thank you for your talk.

[28:49]

I found it really courageous. I wonder if you could say something about repentance around your subject. Thank you very much. Repentance is part of the acknowledgement of karma. We express remorse for unwholesome actions or words. True remorse is a very deep process, and it's necessary. Absolutely necessary. Thank you, Gary. I see Ryushin, Alan, and then we'll go online. Thank you, Karen, very much for an important talk.

[29:56]

We really appreciate your courage. So, as you were talking about aval and aval-all, and the refuges, I was reminded that in many sort of temples, in the United States and abroad, that at the beginning of every service, substantial service, usually the morning service, there is an avowal of karma in taking the repentances and the taking refuge is a part of what we do. And it makes it a longer morning and a longer service, but I've always found that refreshing and helpful for grounding me into what it is that I'm doing and what I'm intending for the day. And so I wonder if you have any thoughts about that. I've never thought about doing that here, but actually it just seems like it's a really wonderful practice.

[30:59]

Well, I'm with you. I think it's a wonderful practice. I think it's a good way, I think that that feeling that one has of remorse is a huge motivator for committing oneself to acting otherwise. This will open up some other conversations. No, go ahead. This will open up some other conversation maybe, but in the Atmi Dharma, one of the wholesome states of mind, is shame, but you might also say it's a deep remorse, it's a deep motivator of looking here and say, actually I want to do something better. How did I mess up or how did I get confused? So I wonder if you would say something more about that. Oh, do you want to hear about my shame?

[32:04]

I have plenty. Well, I'll just say personally, I have a short fuse. I have regretted so many times I've yelled at somebody, said things I don't mean. I'm sorry I don't have a real dramatic, specific You can ask my wife. I feel I have a whole room full of unwholesome actions, but I'd say for me, it's mostly speech.

[33:12]

That is something that I find challenging and difficult to sometimes control. I'll stop, but I actually am really interested in so many people, when they think about shame, they think about guilt. Yes. Oh, I see. It becomes so much more of a burden as opposed to a positive motivator. Thank you. I wonder if you could say something about that. I appreciate you clarifying that. I've shied away from the word shame because it brings up in our culture a lot of judgments about all sorts of things. I think what we're talking about, I don't like the word guilt either.

[34:14]

I think it's important to look into one's own heart and mind and see... You know, I know what I want to say, but just because you're not what someone else wants you to be, or just because you don't do what someone else wants you to do, that is not automatically shameful or a reason to feel guilty. Also, this is what I hope I've got, what you're getting at. Guilt brings up usually anger.

[35:20]

Remorse brings up a true desire to make things better or to change one's self. Too often, with guilt and shame, it turns out that someone will feel just like they're a bad person. not the point at all. The point is to, the point of remorse is to change one's intention. Is that anywhere close to what you're asking? Well, it's your answer. I'm curious, I'm really curious because I appreciate you bringing up remorse and a vow of karma. It's something that's very important to me because I have a lot of karma to avow. And I have found, as I re-read some of the Pali Canon, I feel like a lot of Buddha's teaching is to ask people to look at the harm that they create.

[36:31]

And that's something that's always been pretty intimate for me, the amount of harm that I create. And that's a really positive motivator because as someone who takes bodhisattva vows, I don't want to create karma. So the trick is not to have it turn into guilt and self-judgment. Thank you. Yeah, that's a very honest... You know, I was always afraid to go to my... I've never gone to my high school reunion because I was known as a mean kid when I was... Now, there's some question whether I should have felt as bad as I did. But there were people I hurt well beyond high school.

[37:33]

Shoray, Evan, did you have something? Yeah. And then I want to go to Heather and Ed. I can see some hands up. in the Zoom room. Hi, Karen. Hi, Ellen. You started talking a lot about safety, or feeling safe, and I really understand that in terms of taking refuge in Sangha, but I'm curious how you kind of associate that with taking refuge in Buddha or Dharma, because I I wouldn't say I do. I would say I feel maybe way more or something, or more courageous, or more willing to participate in some way. But I don't feel safer. That's not something that I feel. Well, one aspect of taking refuge in Buddha that has allowed me to feel safer is

[38:46]

trusting myself. I grew up, my mother was very violent and she would attack me with tons of just vitriol. And honestly, I had to really think about the Buddha's teaching of not getting all caught up in that. I could have responded with all sorts of vitriol too. And I did not feel safe there, but there's a way where one has to trust oneself and one's own understanding. And I was able to quell by taking refuge in Buddha.

[39:53]

But then, I just want to go back to what I said in the beginning, we are not necessarily ever going to be safe. I mean, who's safe? I mean, the people being sent back to Honduras or El Salvador prisons, they're not safe. I mean, I don't think We can look for that kind of safety, but we can really stand up for the truth within ourselves. I agree with that, but I wouldn't say it makes me feel safe at all. Well, you know, I mean, I'm not saying you should feel safe. But there is spiritual safety, which is different from physical safety. And that is a comfort. Let me move on to the Zoom room.

[40:56]

Hi, Heather. Hi, Karen. Good morning. Good morning. Thank you for your beautiful and honest and vulnerable talk. At the beginning, you mentioned Pope Francis. I was raised Catholic and I'm surprised at the cascade of just reflection and questions that are coming up for me about my life in his death. And faith has been a big thing. And you said earlier in your talk, something to the effect of faith is about having capacity or you have faith in our capacity to plant wholesome seeds. Yes. Might not be your complete definition of faith, but it was a very different angle than I had been approaching the question of faith with.

[41:56]

So I'm chewing on that and I wonder if you can say something about what does faith mean to you and what do you think is the source of faith? Where does it come from? Faith for me means complete trust in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. I won't go into detail about this, but I did mention in some previous talk that I had some experiences when I was 21 that led me to the truth of the Dharma. And because of that, I've never doubted the Dharma.

[43:02]

However, Sangha practice was not so easy. And I had some I was not one to immediately accept authority, so the Buddha was not. But the Dharma was something I deeply trusted. But over time, over years and years of practice, doing this over and over again, I would say faith is an action. It's not a... It's not just an idea or a dogma that you cling to. It's an action and it's an experience. I really just love these ceremonies, especially the taking of refuges, repentance, and taking precepts.

[44:11]

It's like a statement, an affirmation that is an act of faith. Does that answer? It touches the tip of the iceberg. It's a big universe. It's a big universe, but what I'm hearing is there's a foundation that you trust the Dharma and you trust the teaching. Almost like there's a safety in relaxing into that. And then it's the ritual, the action, the repetition. Yes. Connected to it and keeps you going deeper in that direction. That's what I heard from what you were saying. Yes. That's true. And there was something else I wanted to add to that. Of course, I'm having a senior moment.

[45:20]

I can feel it, what I want to say, but I'm not pulling the words out. Maybe I'll get back to it, but I would love to chat about this privately if you ever have the desire. Great. I love that. Ed? Hi, Karen. Hi, Ed. Always a treat to see you speaking. My question is that as an activist in the LGBTQ community. You've been all your life. How are you doing with that, with the way things are, the attacks they are, and where in the Dharma or in our practice are you turning to for solace as well as

[46:37]

Well, to be quite honest, I'm afraid. But I still find safety in places. For example, there's a whole sangha of LGBTQ sangha people. I've been to rallies. where I feel refuge there with people of like-minded view. Also, I really love to read about people who stood up for their beliefs regardless what they had to take. And there's so many of those people who did.

[47:38]

And I take refuge in them. Thank you. Thanks, Ned. Let's see, how much, that's about eight minutes after. Shoray? Thanks for your talk, Karen. I especially appreciate just how you're bringing in reality, things as they are. to the Zen vote today. I appreciate that. My question is about, for me, an edge of my practice these days is discerning refuge versus trying to run away. I think I have some ideas when I'm doing one or the other, but it's really tricky. And there's a lot of ways I can run away. including kind of going on autopilot a little bit.

[48:43]

And that can intersect with what we do here sometimes, too. So I'm just curious if you talk about that tension. Yeah. Well, first of all, I think some of us cannot run away. I mean, some of us are visibly who we are. The other thing is, I think it's important to take a break, you know, once in a while. You don't have to think about this all day long, you know, about how, you know, it's easy to get discouraged about the world situation, but that doesn't mean you can't have joy One of my favorite moments from the past 12 months was in November, I went to a gathering at the Scottish Rite Temple and it was Dr. Angela Davis and Dr. Rod Owens and Prentice Hempel, I think that's their name, talking about how to deal with

[50:10]

all this barrage of hatred, especially racism. And one thing they emphasized was, and they brought it from the Black Liberation Movement, was how much joy there is in it. That they have joy together in liberation. It can be fun. meet great people. So that's my answer. And I've always wanted to take from that experience with all three of them. That evening was very uplifting and

[51:12]

I left smiling, and it was a very diverse crowd. I mean, so, enjoy. Enjoy your life, as Sojin said. Thank you. That just reminded me that lately I've been really enjoying all the flowers and bloom in my neighborhood. Thank you. Well, it's probably time to stop. Okay. We can chat outside if anyone would like to. Thank you all for listening.

[51:56]

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