I vow to face the truth without which I confess its worst. Good morning. I feel very soft-spoken today, so if you don't hear me back there, just flag me and I'll try to pick up the tone a bit. How can we bring practice into our everyday life? How can we cultivate the training that we learn in a room like this in our life? How can we cultivate seeing with body, mind, breath, and spirit? How can we cultivate this wholeness so that we can bring it into our life? So that when we change diapers, go to the store, same line. not separate from the mind of practice, same mind.

[01:03]

That's what I want to talk about today, and share with you some tools that you're welcome to use, to work with, so that you can bring practice into your life, wherever you are. These pine cones, I just brought these, they're from the Sierras. And what I'd like you to do, because I'll explain them more in a little while, but I'd like you each to take one. And how are you going to do it, although you already felt that one, that's right, that's yours. That's exactly it. What I want you to do is we're going to talk about the seeing that cultivates big mind. Not looking, not picking and choosing, seeing. this seeing with oneness, another way of talking about it is tender vision. You see? Not judgmental. It's seeing. That's tender vision.

[02:05]

So, when you get the basket, just place it before you and see if there isn't one in the basket that says, me. You're not looking for a pretty one. You're not looking for a shiny one. It's beyond this evaluation. You want the one that touches you and pass it on. If you have a difficulty, close your eyes, take a breath, open, and from awareness of your breath, let your hand move. This becomes your friend and observes. Please, have a pine cone. You can always eat it later. Very organic. In Buddhism we often talk about mind only practice. I think it gets kind of confused. We think of it as mind only sounds like mind only. But that's a different mind only that we talk about in Buddhism.

[03:08]

The mind only that we talk about in Buddhism is the mind that is body, breath, mind, and nature, one. that mind, the deep mind that includes every aspect of who we are. Now, it doesn't include the prettiness of just who we are. It includes every aspect of who we are. It includes our pain, our sorrow, our grumpiness, our anger, our joy, our harmony. You see, the way leaves no one behind. There has never been anyone like you, nor will there ever be anyone like you again. Who is this one that fills your feet? It is not your skin. It is not your bones. But it works with your skin and with your bones.

[04:10]

Who is this one that fills your body? What can we do to cultivate this one, so that the one that resides within us can fill every cell of our body, fill every cell of our bones, fill our blood, fill our whole life? I can't think of any other reason to be alive, or to practice. No. For a short time, let it rest in your hands. Just rest. And then in a couple minutes, I'd like you to place it before you, separate from your body. And then I'll show you something on how you can cultivate tender vision. If training only exists in this room, or at a particular time, or reading a particular book, or in a particular class,

[05:15]

What we do then is develop more walls and boundaries. That is not big mind. That's small mind. Don't think we can't cultivate small mind in practice. Don't be fooled. You have to have clear intention for it to nurture big mind. you turn into such a monster. It's true. Because you can cultivate oneness that's directed by small mind. Be careful. Anyone that practices the way has to know this. Or we don't. We live half a truth. So what are the ways to cultivate big mind so that we can touch the joy in each moment

[06:18]

and have true freedom. Kannon Bodhisattva is, a good way to think of it maybe, or a way to think of it, is saint. A saint who is, we might say, attributed with two main qualities. One who hears the cries of the world, the cries inside of us that don't have words yet. The other thing, Kannon is noted for being the one who guides freedom. Freedom means that disasters don't happen. It just means in the middle of a disaster, there is always a door. Always open, always hearing, always a door. When I was four and a half years old, very young child, young whippersnapper, a lot of curls on the head, couldn't sit still, ever, even when she slept.

[07:23]

Four and a half, I was attacked and raped. 20 years almost, no, 15 years, 16 years, buried, because we weren't allowed, I wasn't allowed to talk about it. When I, at about the age of 20 or so, the memories, in dreams, and then I could remember. Two ways I could deal with this situation. I could get very angry and hate all of life and me. Very real now. Or I could pray and ask for a way to turn this so it brought vitality back to my life. How could I turn this so this could be vital? In my healing with the situation, meaning bringing it to the foreground, crying with it when it was time to cry, holding me when it was time to hold me.

[08:31]

In the healing of it, I found that one of the ways that it could be turned in my life was it could be a source of information for others. There have been times, I've been places where someone will walk up to me and say, can I share something with you? Of course. And then they'll say, and they'll tell me either of having been attacked, raped, or molested. And they'll say to me, I don't know why I told you. And I just tell them, I understand. It happened to me. It took what I did through having an intention of going towards clarity, towards not picking and choosing and saying bad situations aren't part of the way, only good ones are. There was a way that even the atrocities of our life can be woven in as a path of awakening.

[09:33]

Do you know that you cannot have a true awakening until your heart has been pierced? I'm not talking about a lightweight cry. I'm talking about a true piercing of the heart. Can you imagine that this piercing is included in? It's not separate from. I don't think there's anyone in this room who does not have a story that pierced the heart. Sometimes we think The path of the way is everything but this. Everything but that. Couldn't include this. If they really knew me, it couldn't include this. Not so. It includes all the mud of our life. Every cell. Every aspect. Nothing left out. That's why I went towards Buddhism.

[10:37]

Because it didn't pick on age, sex, religion, color, size, households, children, and, and, and, and. It just set everyone free. All life free. When we begin to live our life with freedom, we begin to experience miracles in our life. The miracle of instead of being the bobbin in the ocean, the difference is resonating with life and life speaking with us for who we are. I always find it a great honor, deep in my spirit, when I come close to an altar. Anybody can do it, you know that. I hope you know that. You don't have to have one of these to do that. Because this is a doorway, a threshold of the ancestor.

[11:43]

And they don't pick and choose, and you don't have to have cleaner hair to get up here, or better looking clothes. Just who you are has the opportunity to be fully received. Most of us in this room, I know, I did it, I'll be floored if there's anyone who doesn't, or unless you've already healed through it, who thinks, I'm a good person, I try hard, but I have this thing. Can you imagine to be so loved that that's included in, but not even the batting of an eyebrow? When we practice, We are opening our heart. In Buddhism, or in Japanese, mind only, the character for mind is exactly the same for heart.

[12:47]

So mind only is heart only. Pretty good way to end it, huh? At the end, do you think you'd have regrets? I don't think so. That's all I want. That's it. But we have to be careful to cultivate big mind and not little mind. Picking and choosing mind is little mind. Assessing outside is little mind. Rarely big mind will say to say something. Usually it is for us to witness so that we can learn something about ourselves. Now let's get back to these pinecones. I'd like you to place the pinecone separate from your body, before you, so you feel distance.

[13:50]

Yes? Alright. I would like to show you how you can see with tender vision. This is seeing with enlightenment. But now that sounded lofty, didn't it? No, dogs do it. You see? They do it. I'm just gonna show you what they do and what you can do so when you do it you feel whole. That's it. Why else practice? If when you practice you feel lofty, it's small mind been training you. No, we all have it. So it's not like you get to a point where, oh, it's gone. Day to day, refine. Day to day, refine. Day to day. No, don't get angry at small mind. Just note it. It'll then slip into the proper place. Usually, we look in life, we look at everything.

[14:54]

It's sort of terrible. It's the price of having so many changes in our life. The price of, oh, what was the name of that? It's like, something revolution, come on. What happened? When machinery, thank you very much. The price of the industrial revolution is that we look instead of see. It's not just seeing with these eyes, it's seeing. See. You can do it. I'll show you. And you can do this every day of your life. And the more you do it, the more the deeper life within you will resonate with your life, and you realize there's no such thing as special activity. If the difference is this one. This is it. We can make taking a tea treat special, or the same as cleaning the toilet.

[15:57]

I'm serious. Just a small mind got in the way. So, we'll do it with C. I like to introduce it to you with your eyes closed. If you train in quiet situations first, then you can do it as safely. And I'll show you, it's very simple. What I'd like you to do is just kind of let your body be comfortable. So try not to hold your body posture. If you're holding up the knee to keep it in the air, relax your leg. What I'd like you to do is have just gentle breath. There is no right breath, no best breath. Just this breath. It's just fine. Now, basically you want to be able to have your spine straight enough so that your head meets heaven. It doesn't have to be taught high. Just, you recognize that that is heaven. And that your spine

[17:01]

touches earth. True meaning. Now let the breath in your abdomen be free and full. And if it feels a little scary, please place your hands over your abdomen and just breathe into your hand. It's quite alright. There's no better way to do it. I started a long time doing it that way. And you just let your mind be your friend now. See, most of us have trained our mind into assessing, punching out and deciding what we should do yesterday. But we don't have many minds. Much of our minds are not our friend. So I'd like you to let your mind meet your breath and observe it and feel it. Feel it get gentle and soft. and let the breath be full in your abdomen, so it rises and falls.

[18:06]

And each breath will be different, so try not to make the breath be a particular way or rhythm. And when you breathe, I'd like you to be aware of your feet, your knees, and just go right up your body your legs, your hips, and let the breath breathe you. And you are just resting in this breath. Now feel in your chest a gentle warmth. This is not only your heart, this is your true nature. It's just been waiting for you to feel it. Now feel your arms and your hands.

[19:11]

Keep feeling the breath. Now your neck, and your face, and your head. And the mind notes, and the breath breathes. In a moment, I'm going to ask you to softly open your eyes to maybe one third open and just see the floor or that part of the floor before you. With your mind aware of your breathing, gently open your eyes. And allow your attention to be with your breathing and C. And let the breath be full.

[20:21]

Now with soft movement, extend one hand down and place the pinecone in your hand. and place the pine cone before you in your vision range. Place it in your hand and hold it before you. Be aware of the breath in your abdomen. Be aware of your legs, your whole back, See gently the pine cone. Noting it. Where does the pine cone end in your hand start? Is there a point?

[21:37]

Connecting. Continue to breathe deeply. Let your heart feel warm. Now I will show you how the pine cone can speak to you. Just see. What quality do you hear about your heart? What's a positive quality about your heart that it's showing you? When you have something, you raise your hand. Yes.

[22:45]

What is the quality of your heart? Open. Very good. Someone else. Come on. This is where we've trained together. Yes. Reaching. Reaching. Very good. Yes. Soft. Soft. Very good. One. Yes. One. One. Remember, don't tighten up your abdomen now, keep breathing. So, did you notice how fast when the mind starts to think, the abdomen tightened? Yes, in front. Many hands, one. Many hands, one. What are some wonderful qualities about your heart? Yes. Open. Open. Yes. With the glasses in the back? Yes.

[23:47]

Searching. Searching. Alright. Now, I want you to go deeper in your breathing. Feel it in your hands. Let your breath sink deeper within you as though a breath drops like a pebble into a well. There is no right end point. It just sinks and each breath sinks. It's just a pine cone. Let yourself need it. Now what are some other qualities about your heart? Harmony. Ah, a gift.

[24:48]

Okay. Okay. I think we got a feeling. Can you see how a moment ago it was just a pine cone from a tree brought in on a bowl, went in your hands, Just a pine cone. But through seeing whole, it's a mirror. Can you see how a flower can do the same? You see the pine cone in the picture. A tree is just a picture. If we give ourself the time to connect with our breath and let the mind be soft, there is a deeper level of seeing that's right here.

[26:01]

None of you said broken. Broken's alright in a particular context if you want to work on healing aspects of you. But no one said crushed. It wasn't the superficial scene that you did. You saw. Do you know there is no accidents for anything in your life? Every tree and bush in your garden or outside your home, there is no accident. Every color in your life, there is no accident. It doesn't mean we have to walk around going, I wonder why, I wonder why. That's not what's going on. It's trusting that something deeper is guiding us towards wholeness if we let ourselves connect with it. That's freedom.

[27:04]

In the midst of the heaviest situation, it'll have a sparkle. A simple pine cone, of which you're welcome to take home if you wish, can keep helping you hear you. It is your truth. So, I'm going to teach one more thing. How am I doing on time? 20 minutes to 11. Yes. I wanted to show you now how to do it with others. So, first off, okay, let me translate this one more into how you take it to Safeway, right? Or Berkeley Bowl. If you walk in this way, especially the mind will push, you can always tell when a person's really mind only. We all do it.

[28:07]

We all take a turn. So what you do is you soften it so the mind that's here rests. It wants to befriend us and assist us in the journey. Small mind is allowed on the journey in its proper perspective. That's it. You don't have to throw anything away. You don't have to destroy your ego. Please don't. You won't make it on the path. You must have one. So, mind soft. You go in of list. what you want. As you walk down an aisle, just like the pine cone resonated to you, the food will resonate to you. You'll remember. The food will even tell you what your body needs and your mind doesn't know. By connecting with gentle, soft vision, the universe then becomes our teacher,

[29:11]

and train small mind. So you're walking down the aisle and something says, me. You take it home and maybe that night, you had such a need for that. It felt so good. So you can walk in this state, in this state of being, and you won't be hurt. It's not opening your heart. I'm not talking about opening your heart. I'm talking about letting the heart shine freely. Think of a headlight on a car. It doesn't pick and choose. It doesn't shine like this. Right? If you open your heart, you're vulnerable. Not so good. But if you let your mind be soft, this shines So, try it, even with one aisle.

[30:14]

Don't take on insurmountable things. A way you can train like this to hear tender vision, you go to grab for a cup of coffee. Instead of just grabbing a cup. Oh, blue, I like blue. It's more like slow down. Yeah, but I think the pink is right right now. I think it's pink. It's like letting the mind be second. Something else goes quick, like breathe. You can train every day when you pick up a cup. Which one today? Oh, this one. Don't worry about why. Know something knows. Colors are very powerful. Sometimes we need pink. Sometimes we need blue. Sometimes we need green. We can resonate with life or be moved through it by a small mind.

[31:16]

When we feel very tossed, it's because we're not connecting. If you stop yourself, connect, you'll feel much more grounded. So, one way is taking a pine cone and hearing it, placing a flower in your hand, placing a bug outside on your hand. One that seems to... One time I was having a very, very difficult time. I was living in a monastery. Very difficult time. And I didn't know what to do. So I went for a walk down this trail and this flumpy little beetle about this big around. I don't like bugs. But this particular beetle was kind of flumpy in the way he walked. These little legs, sort of. I mean, it was really totally unbalanced. This was a whopping little field. But he caught me for some reason, so I sat on the ground and watched him, and I realized when I just sat softly, he was steadfast.

[32:28]

In the midst of who he was, he was steadfast. And I go, yep, that's me. Not a quarter inch to the side. Right up over it. Walk down the other side. But there was something inside of him that kept moving him. I felt about 20 pounds lighter and went back. One time, now I'll go into how you can do it with others. One time I was at Tassajara. There's always, people take turns on being really angry at Tassajara. There tends to be like four or five people that are They're livid for three months. That's it. And that's what they're cleaning out and healing. It's not like they're trying to be that way, but that's what's going on. This one person was in charge of the kitchen, which made it very painful for the workers. When she'd come, everybody would do this. Very busy life corresponds, you know. So one day I was sitting outside of the Zendo,

[33:31]

It's called the Angawa, because the kitchen crew came away. And all of a sudden I could feel through my back, a very sensitive back, I felt something coming and it was her. And I didn't know which one of us was going to get it. And I didn't even know why. It didn't even matter. When somebody is cleaning out anger, you can just blink and it's over. I got real soft and I said, How do I handle this? And at that moment, a great breeze came and blew the wreath in the grass. And it came up, and I was like, oh, just let her go by. I got it. And then come back. Hearing the pine cone, hearing the trees, with all that is around us. That's why there's more than one person in the universe at a time.

[34:36]

That's why there isn't just people in the world and no things. All of life can be a vehicle for our hearing and seeing or we can just see it as just a thing to do. One resonates with us and one is just interactive with a boundary. I recommend hearing pine cones. When you have something that bothers you, go sit with a tree and watch it. What are you hearing? What's the way through? Always a door. And something greater than all of us, the place where the ancestors come from, of all lineages, is what's guiding us. to greater than our small mind's dream. So why not let something greater than our small mind direct us? Okay.

[35:38]

So, if you have questions on the break, if anyone wants to go to the second part, then I have to stop talking. We can take scriptures and work with them. We can either let scriptures touch our mind, and it dances. I know people, very spiritually awakened, in their mind, does not touch their fingertips. We have to be careful. They're not good or bad, no judgment. You must be careful. If you want to let it touch your toes, that must be your intention. And then a way to do it would be, for instance, We take a precept. A disciple of the Buddha does not kill. Let me show you how I work it down. Because that seems pretty far out. I'm not going to shoot anybody, no problem. Next. But that's not it.

[36:42]

What's the way that it translates right down to our kitchen? Let me show you. Disciple of the Buddha does not kill. Disciple of the Buddha does not take vitality. A disciple of the Buddha respects life. A disciple of the Buddha, when meeting life, meets it completely. How this translates into our action? When you're in the kitchen and you've cut, did you drop the knife? Did you place it down? Did you meet it all the way to its resting? When you were cutting next to somebody, did you put up a boundary? Here's my bowl. Did you cut vitality from the person next to you? How does what I say give life or take life?

[37:43]

Did I, behind a person's back, say something? It took life. It doesn't matter if they hurt it. It takes life. Did you kill? That's what that precept means. It means not saying anything that takes life or vitality. Now, there's a time and a place to talk about a pain, but it's done with a clear mind. I need to say this so I can work on it and hear through it. It's different. We all know that. How can I not take life? How can I not take vitality? How can I give life? Assist life? The more we foster the mind that's in front, we are fostering small mind. Don't kid yourself. Each day of our life, we foster small mind whether we want to or not. Why? We have 10,000 choices moment to moment.

[38:47]

It's okay. Just know. And when you catch yourself taking life, stop. I went too far. Next time, you won't go this far. Inside, you won't. It'll happen. You'll hear. Nobody's good. Nobody's bad. Just next time you go into it, it'll be different. How can you give life? How can when we cut with a knife, we love the knife the same way we love our lover, our child, a treat? If we walk our life meeting life, hearing life, then we resonate with life. You can only have fullness. You can only then be whole. Not a bad way to live your life. It's not a thing. It's not a particular place. To work with others, I think small study groups are really awesome.

[39:51]

I just see it out there. You have tea with a couple of people and you take a line and you say, how can this translate into our life? And you work it down. Work it down until you hear it. Then you go out and work on it. That's how Dharma brothers and sisters work with each other. That's a way of utilizing small mind and bringing it down to the most simplistic. When we go to the market, How many people did we ram with our cart? We were going to get to those tomatoes first. What's the way of getting there directly? Hearing the hole. What's the opening? How can we get where we need to go? See, small mind can assist us, or it can be our worst enemy. worse than you could possibly imagine.

[40:53]

The most evil of teachers got there by incrementally, daily, fostering a small mind. But, if you live your life with tender vision, you have freedom. And you have peace and joy. and you'll be more aware of your feet than you have ever been in your whole life. So when you die, you can say, I live in my feet. What else can you say? Nothing? Okay, I gabbed a lot. It's a lot I've passed on to you, but I wanted to offer you some tools to bring this precious training into your life, because As you cannot find the edge to the pine cone, where is the edge to the zendo? You cannot find it.

[41:58]

What happens is our mind says, I'm walking through the door, close. And then I come back to the zendo, open. What happens if you don't do that? If you just even think for a moment, there's no wall on the zendo. Then wherever you stand, you're on an altar, in the ancestor's hand, and they're so happy, so grateful. I think we have just a few minutes for questions. Any thoughts? Or should we just sit and disappear? Couple minutes, Dolly? Awesome. You may either join your pine cone, but in all cases, let's go back to our breath.

[43:03]

Let me direct you back a little bit, and we'll finish. Your breath must be free, or the mind is not free. Let it rise and fall on its own. Let your mind love and respect each breath and let the warmth fill your heart. And then in your own mind, start at your toes with your mind and just note your body so that you are one piece breathing. And know you are completely safe.

[44:13]

Completely safe. In a moment, the bell will be sound.

[46:46]

Can you chant with your legs, arms? See you next time!

[47:19]

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