All right. Take your mask off also. Oh, that would be good. OK. Marie Hopper has been a member of Berkeley Zen Center for 25 years.

[01:10]

As part of her Zen experiences at BVC, she has especially enjoyed kitchen practice. Many of you have seen her in the Ed Herzog documentary, Old Plum Mountain, which is on our website, as well as available for sale and purchase at the book table. And it's actually one of my favorite episodes in there is when Marie is in the kitchen in a quiet yet enthusiastic manner, imparting the dharma of kitchen practice to the students there during Sashin. It was a really great view. I'm not just saying it because she's here. It's really my favorite. My interview is here. Over the years, she has explored family practice, She has two children with her husband, Greg Denny. In addition to her own meditation practice, currently, Marie is one of the co-facilitators of BCC's coming-of-age program.

[02:13]

Please put your hands together and welcome Marie. Good morning. Good morning. You tell me that. On the top. There you go. OK. There you go. Perfect. Good morning. During aspects of practice, we study the Eightfold Path, and in the Coming-of-Age program, we are also using that as our guide or primary teaching. And so I've been wanting to delve a little deeper into the Eightfold Path. And so one of the things that I decided to do was pick a topic and use that specifically to walk through

[03:31]

each path and see if at the end of it what I've learned or how my relationship with that issue changed. Thich Nhat Hanh has a quote that I like very much. It says, to be like the earth. When the rain comes, the earth only has to open herself up to the rain. Allow the rain of the Dharma to come in and penetrate the seeds that are buried deep in your consciousness. And so this was my effort to kind of explore and learn more about how the Eightfold Path helps us and how I could take up an issue that was particularly interesting to me and see how I can deepen my practice with it. So I chose the topic of loneliness. It's something that I've seen a lot of people experience.

[04:37]

I think it's a very common experience. And I think it's also quite elusive. So I was excited when I came up with this idea to really walk through each path and see how my understanding of loneliness would change after this process. So I went through each of the paths, right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration. I'm going to start with right view. I'm just going to go through the list. So in a nutshell, right view, things as they are, or I believe Suzuki Roshi would say, things as it is?

[05:41]

Yes. Things as it is. And so loneliness, in a nutshell, as we understand it, loneliness is defined by the mental health profession as a gap between the level of connectedness that you want and that you have. Neuroscientists think that for loneliness, what is happening in your brain is the human brain having evolved to seek safety in numbers registers aloneness as a threat. The centers of our brain that monitor for danger, especially the amygdala, go into overdrive, triggering a release of fight or flight stress hormones. Your heart rate at times increases, your blood pressure and blood sugar levels increase to provide energy in case you need it.

[06:45]

Your body produces extra inflammatory cells to repair tissue damage and prevent infection and fewer antibodies to fight disease or virus. In other words, when you feel threatened You become defensive and defend yourself. So subconsciously, you start to view other people, even though they are what you are craving, also as a potential threat, sources of rejection or exclusion or apathy, and less as friends and remedies from your loneliness. So already, there's a conflict there. You originally crave and want companionship. And yes, you also fear rejection or being hurt or unwanted. Being among community as we have evolved as a race has helped us live longer lives.

[07:53]

Our brains are wired so that we are pack animals, hive mentality. We thrive in groups. We live in groups for the most part. We work in groups. We're educated in groups. We are very much motivated by the way our brains are wired to seek out others. Without connection to others, we often question if our lives have meaning. Our connections help ground us, contribute to our sense of identity and fulfillment, and to cope with questions about meaning. People often choose to keep themselves busy or to care for others in particular as a source of meaning and fulfillment. So all of this relates to loneliness in that when we don't have a secure

[08:57]

connection or tribe or community, we have this experience that we call loneliness. So this is what it is. So for right view, we just accept. Connection is something that we are hardwired to seek, something that we need. I would say we need it like we need water, we need air, we need food. We are driven by the way our brains are designed, by the way our hormones flow to look for and seek others. All this to say right view for loneliness is to understand it as something which we seek emotionally and physiologically and as an experience

[09:57]

that we crave. It is a desire. A desire connection. All right. So right intention. No gaining idea. And for loneliness, it is something we want to gain. It's something we want. We want it to go away. We want companionship. And that's what I found really interesting in this particular path, that it is a desire. It is a craving. When I look at loneliness objectively, I understand it as an experience of how people feel isolated and cut off from others. Again, insufficient, relationship or connection.

[10:59]

But when I look a little bit more, sometimes loneliness is a distraction. Sometimes loneliness is, I don't want to think about myself. I don't want to be about myself. I want to be about a relationship or I want to be about something else. I want to spend time with people so I don't have to be alone with something that's bothering me. That if I have companionship, if I'm with someone else, then I can focus on them. And then I don't need to be alone with something else, a different form of suffering. or simply alone with myself, which at times can be painful. So is it that I'm craving connection, or is it that just being social is comforting, in that it can take us away from something else?

[12:13]

We also often assume that When we're lonely, we have this fantasy that if we're going to be with somebody else or pay attention to the others around us, we're going to feel better. Right? How many times have we headed into a situation thinking, Oh, I'm going to be with someone. This is going to be nice. And we came away feeling kind of overwhelmed by their problems or they became difficult or there was a conflict and started feeling hurtful maybe they criticized maybe there was a misunderstanding and so the loneliness actually turned into wow being social is a lot of work sometimes it's painful it's not always comforting and so when we're lonely we often kind of idealize the good things that we get from a relationship

[13:23]

We don't necessarily pay attention to the harder parts of a relationship. So, no gaining idea. If I look at loneliness, to be realistic, if I'm choosing to engage in others, it's not just to get my needs met. It's not just so that they can comfort me. It's so that I can connect with them and also pay attention to their needs and be with them in their sorrow or their pain. Or maybe invite them to be with mine. But that it's not an ideal fix. Relationships are hard. I think they're one of the hardest things about being a person. And yet it's what we crave. So to hold loneliness with right intention, I can try to look deeply at my desire so that I can peel back the layers and see both my desire to connect, my fantasy for being seen and nurtured, and be seen for the best part of myself, and the struggle and hard work and the vulnerability that comes with a real relationship and possibly being seen not at my best.

[14:54]

and then hold and tolerate and try and lessen my grip on the desire for things to be different. Right speech. All right. In a nutshell, abstaining from lying and diversive or abusive speech. This path was also really useful for me as I looked at loneliness because I thought that it can be really hard to talk about it. Loneliness, to tell somebody or talk about feeling lonely, requires vulnerability. It's not something people necessarily like to admit. Because when we talk about it, all of a sudden there's the potential for shame or for blame. Am I alone because there's something wrong with me?

[15:59]

Did I do something? Do other people, like everyone else in the world, does everyone else have a relationship with other people? Do they have friends and a happy family and connections and I don't because maybe I've done something wrong? So to talk about it, we really start to connect with the other part of loneliness. It's not just the ideal fantasy that being with others is going to make me feel better and is going to make me feel whole and connected. When I look at loneliness and I try to talk about it, it brings up the fear of why people might not like me. Again, we're hardwired to be part of a tribe. And the fear of being rejected by a tribe is painful. It's scary. And so right speech for me really helped me see the hesitation, why we don't reach out.

[17:05]

Like if it's something we crave, if it's like water and air, why don't we just take a breath? Why don't we just have a drink of water? Why don't we just reach out to others? because we're afraid and there's the potential for feeling shame and blame. So for right speech, for me, it seemed important to talk about it and talk about it without the blame and shame, to be able to tolerate the vulnerability and remind myself that there's nothing wrong with me because I feel lonely, nothing at all. It's a normal human experience. And to talk about it with that attitude. Okay, right action. Right action is to refrain from killing others or, sorry, killing all other living beings and stealing or harming others.

[18:14]

And instead we act to support life, practice giving, and respect for our relationships and the boundaries of others. Like most things, there are no one right action. Loneliness is different for different people. For some people, they can feel close just having somebody else around them. They can feel close just being in a coffee shop with a bunch of other strangers. I certainly have found the experience over the years that just coming and sitting zazen in the zendo, my loneliness would go away. I didn't necessarily need to be in a deep, intimate conversation. But then there's other times where I've sat next to somebody

[19:16]

Two people can be on the same couch and one person is doing one thing and the other person is doing something else. They might even be leaning up against each other and they can still feel lonely. So loneliness, there's no prescription for it. There's no clarity around what is going to resolve the loneliness. So the presence or absence of loneliness is not merely based on the presence or absence of another. Loneliness is based on the ability to let others in. And how we do that can be different for each of us. So to feel seen and understood or to convey a sense of seeing or understanding another.

[20:17]

Letting others in is not always, again, the relief that we expect. Sometimes letting people in is scary. It's frightening. And sometimes it doesn't resolve the loneliness. Sometimes it does include conflict. Sometimes it does include disagreement or misunderstanding. So it's a risk, right? You don't know if it's going to get resolved. But it's not going to get resolved if you don't try. Sometimes it's going to take work. It won't happen. I'll always write it first. But we do have to try. And so Choosing to be vulnerable. Without the vulnerability, we can't address the loneliness.

[21:24]

This doesn't just apply to people. We have lots of things that we can connect to. but we have to let it in. And letting things in is one of the things I think we have to be very conscious about what we let in and what we don't. So, for example, a lot of people can find being in nature very comforting. And we don't necessarily feel as lonely when we connect to nature. And yet, connecting to nature also means witnessing ultimately climate change and other things where there's a lot of suffering and pain in what is happening to the natural world. We can connect with the food we eat. We can connect with an idea, an idea that's important to us

[22:45]

We can connect with an expression of something artistically or creatively. But when I started to really look at what it means to let in, I found there are a lot of different ways we can let things in. And all of those things can help us feel less lonely. Practicing with loneliness is not simply a matter of trying to decide how much time to spend being social. It's an act of being vulnerable and attentive and open in the present moment. Right livelihood. You know, I thought about this one and it didn't really help me so much. I'm sure there are ways that right livelihood, whether it's

[23:47]

maybe letting in or feeling a connection with your job or with an activity. It could certainly help loneliness, but as I explore the right livelihood... So, I'm going to skip this one. If anybody has some great ideas about how loneliness and livelihood interact, I would love to hear it. So, right effort. The qualities of mind that we must cultivate to pay attention and deepen our awareness of the present moment. Here's a quote from Suzuki Roshi. It is not just your mind that says you are here and I am there. That's all. Originally, we are one with everything. Superficially, you may say you are feeling lonely. But if you are very sincere and really give up your small mind, then there is no fear and no emotional problem.

[24:57]

Your eyes are always open and you can hear the birds as they sing. You can see the flowers as they open. So for me, right effort And loneliness is when I look closely at the life I have and the many relationships that are around me. So that's not just the relationship with my friends, my husband, my children, my parents, my sisters, my co-workers, my dog, my two cats, the huge oak tree in my backyard, my house, my kitchen, how clean it is, how messy it is, how I feel about it when I clean it up, my neighbors, my neighborhood, my work, the people I work with, the plants that are growing in my garden,

[26:20]

the lemon tree that I have grown from seed and that I look at every day to see how it's getting bigger that I want to plant in the yard this spring the water levels that I check probably too much to see and how excited I am that most of California is now out of a drought and how happy I am about that there are so many things to connect to. And that when I think about them, I don't feel as lonely anymore. Yet even with all these relationships to acknowledge and experience, I still feel alone sometimes. And so when I do,

[27:22]

I look at the desire underneath it. What am I craving? What am I needing? What am I longing for? Is it that I need help? Is it that I'm feeling overwhelmed by something? Is it that I need a distraction? That I need somebody to help me think about something in a different way, or just not think about something at all. Take a break from it. So in this way, I found, as I was walking through these paths, loneliness

[28:28]

is often a craving. It's a desire for wholeness. For purpose. To feel that I matter. To feel that I'm valued. To have an experience of belonging. Sometimes it's because I need a sense of safety or security. When I am alone with my pain or with doubt or feeling overwhelmed, companionship does help, but I don't just want companionship. I think it

[29:34]

comes back to just wanting to feel nurtured, to grow, to feel loved, and to feel connected. So the last one The last two I combined together. Right mindfulness and right concentration. 25 minutes.

[30:40]

Okay. So when I looked at everything, so all these paths, so I see right mindfulness and right concentration. culmination of the other paths how to use them to really deepen our ability to be in the present moment to take all those lessons and look into the wholeness present moment. And so for loneliness, what came to me is that it's a gate.

[31:52]

Any moment that I feel lonely is an opportunity, not only for me to deepen my own awareness of what I'm needing or wanting, but deepen my connection everything that's in the present moment. And not that I'm being superficial, but that I'm not really paying attention to all that is around me and all that is possible. And so to use loneliness as a reminder I remember one teacher once said that he used in his daily life at work, whenever the phone would ring, he decided to think of that as a bell.

[33:02]

And so whenever the phone rang, he wanted himself to take a moment to say, wake up, pay attention. And so I thought about that so that in moments when I feel loneliness, I could say to myself, wake up. Look at all that's around you. All the things that you could connect with. Endless possibilities. And that helped. It did create a transition that transformation for me so that I experienced it differently and it's still going to be so loneliness is still going to be there at times or aloneness and it's still uncomfortable it's uncomfortable because it's raw and it's intimate and it's vulnerable and sometimes it's scary

[34:11]

Loneliness is a paradox because we're never alone. And yet we are utterly alone. We are born alone. We die alone. Nobody can help us with that. And yet we all are born and we all die. And there are birds, and there are trees, and there are communities, and there are so many experiences that we can connect with if we open ourselves up and we take it in. And so when I thought about myself and my own loneliness... I meant to say this at the beginning, but this might actually even be a better place to say it.

[35:31]

I chose loneliness because it's something that I've experienced a lot in my life. I was very lonely as a child. And... I'm reading a book right now called Quiet, which I highly recommend. It's largely about the difference between introverts and extroverts, and I put myself squarely in the introvert category. And so loneliness is something that I I don't like large crowds, but I don't necessarily want to be alone either. And so having a way to connect with others was something that was pretty elusive for me.

[36:31]

And I think it has continued for a large part throughout my life. There have been periods of time as an adult that I've been very lonely. But when I look back at the history of my loneliness, one thing that really helped change it, transform it, was zazen. And when I think now about how I feel when I sit zazen, it goes away. Sazen really helps me connect with everything that is a part of my life that I can avail myself to, that avails itself to me.

[37:34]

But I have to let it in. I can't just sit with it. And I think that opening up, that letting in, I hadn't always thought of the kind of dropping, dropping in, dropping down. That experience we have when we settle into Zazen. I had not really thought of it as an opening to, but that's what it is for me. More so now that I've kind of become conscious of it. So... So that is what I have learned about loneliness. And I was pretty excited because I felt like going through the Eightfold Path works. It works really good. It really helped me transform what has been a very painful experience in my life.

[38:49]

throughout my life into a deep, meaningful teaching that is now a gate in my life that I am not afraid of, that I know what to do with, I know how to work with it, and that it ultimately can be a gift whenever I want to let it be a gift. And I don't like necessarily thinking of suffering as gifts because it's not always. But in this case it was for me. And I was grateful for that. So I think we have enough time, so I have some things I want to read. I read this in my last talk, but I want to read it two ways. This is a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh.

[39:51]

And first I'm going to read it as he wrote it. Without suffering you cannot grow. Without suffering you cannot get the peace and joy you deserve. Please don't run away from your suffering. Embrace it and cherish it. Go to the Buddha Sit with him. Show him your pain. He will look at you with loving-kindness, compassion, and mindfulness and show you a way to embrace your suffering and to look deeply into it. With understanding and compassion, you will be able to heal the wounds in your heart and the wounds in the world. The Buddha called suffering a holy truth because our suffering has the capacity of showing us the path to liberation. Embrace your suffering and let it reveal to you the way to peace.

[40:58]

So I'm going to change the word suffering to loneliness. And this was just really interesting to me so I wanted to share it. Without loneliness you cannot grow. Without loneliness You cannot get the peace and joy you deserve. Please don't run away from your loneliness. Embrace it and cherish it. Go to the Buddha, sit with him and show him your pain. He will look at you with loving kindness, compassion and mindfulness and show you a way to embrace your loneliness and to look deeply into it. With understanding and compassion, you will be able to heal the wounds in your heart and the wounds in the world. The Buddha called suffering. Sorry. The Buddha called loneliness a holy truth because our loneliness has the capacity of showing us the path to liberation.

[42:10]

Embrace your loneliness and let it reveal to you the way to peace. And I have one more thing I'd like to read to you. It is a poem by one of my favorite poets, Brian Andreas. He wrote secret notes to people he hadn't met yet. Some of them aren't even born, he said. But we live in a strange neighborhood. and they will need help figuring things out and I won't always be around to explain it to them. There are notes everywhere for all of us. Maybe it is an heirloom from three generations back.

[43:13]

Maybe it's something Sojin wrote that speaks to you. Maybe it's something you hear someone on the side of the street muttering to themselves. But there are notes for us everywhere. We just have to open ourselves and look for them. So, thank you for listening. I don't quite know how to. Am I going to watch for on here and around? Yeah, you'll call up anyone who raises their hand, but may I check the computer real quick? We were having technical problems earlier with our host, and I want to make sure they can help facilitate our online process. Thanks.

[44:16]

Yeah, it looks like they're set up. Online, they'll raise their hands. And here in the Zendo, they'll raise a physical hand. All right. Yes? Well, thank you so much for your talk. I really appreciate your vulnerability in front of all of us. I think that's so beautiful. I think we all have those type of feelings that you shared. speaking of them, which we can call right speech, we do connect with each other. I mean, that's how we connect, by opening ourselves up. So I hope that all of us feel free to do that. And as far as loneliness, for me, I'm coming here almost every afternoon now, because that's sometimes the only contact I have with

[45:22]

during the day and just sitting zazen with people that I don't know very well, but being surrounded by those people certainly helps me with my feelings of loneliness because I live alone. I think it's interesting for you to talk about this because you have a spouse and children, but I know that just that situation doesn't often take care of loneliness. That's right. So thank you for sharing this. Thank you. Peter. Marie, thank you so much for this talk. I don't even know where to begin to say how useful and engaging it is. in some ways I find my brain sort of boiling it down to how do we increase our capacity to really engage with the imperative of survival and thriving.

[46:32]

And this has been, you touched on so many particular ways in which it's possible for all of us to increase our vulnerability while at the same time I'm encouraged to explore things that we don't know how to work with. Thank you. Thank you. You might have to repeat the content. At least concisely for people online. They couldn't hear it. Did people online hear Mira and Peter? Yes, I'm getting thumbs up. Okay. I was thinking about livelihood. Oh, good. And I think that for me, the context is right livelihood.

[47:35]

Right livelihood is the other side of that is wrong livelihood. And I think what, so I see each of these as a step of the path. And we need to have right livelihood, which is livelihood that connects us, that allows us to feel whole, whereas wrong livelihood leads in the other direction. Yes, that's true. So I think that it's not so complicated. That part of the very essence of what makes something right livelihood is that it allows us to feel connected. Yeah. Somebody asked me, I've been teaching at Union Theological Seminary, and I'm sort of coming to my idea of Buddhism as what connects.

[48:39]

If it connects, then one can see it as Buddhism. If it divides, then it's not Buddhism. It's pretty simple. Yeah, that's good. Thank you. I'm sorry, I don't know your name. I'm Preston. I'm Lee. Hi, Preston. I'm curious what connection means to you. I feel like I often have a narrow view of what connection is. So what does it mean to connect with another person, what does it need to connect with a tree? For me, connection is what allows things to be, to be seen, and to grow. So, if it's a person, it's

[49:49]

taking in who they are, so listening, attending to, respecting. And so then if it's a tree, that it has as much right to be here as I do, that it is doing similar things, growing, connecting. I loved a book I read a year or two back about how trees nurture each other through their roots and help support each other. And so that's their version of connection. to maybe just enjoying it, enjoying its shade, enjoying its fruit, if it's a fruit-bearing tree, or a flower.

[51:00]

But just that it has an aspiration similar to mine to grow, to be, and that that sense of connection can feel comforting. We have a question in the chat, actually. Mary Dee writes, wonderful talk. Is loneliness the same as being alone? Winnicott claimed that the capacity to be alone is developed in the presence of others. So, no, I don't think loneliness is the same as being alone. Sometimes I want to be alone. I don't know if there's ever a time that I want to be lonely. So, distinguishing between that, sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's not always clear.

[52:11]

Sometimes I'm nervous about being alone because I don't want to feel lonely. And sometimes I'm not worried about it at all. I just deeply want to be alone sometimes. But, No, that's a good distinction, that they're not the same. I'm going to take two questions here and then I'll come back to Katie and Ken. Thank you for the talk. I was wondering... It's good to speak of peace. Okay, I'll try. Thank you for the talk. Sometimes there are people I really care about in a maybe deep state of loneliness where they want to connect but are also afraid to connect? Do you have any thoughts or suggestions on what to do as a friend or what to do for loved ones in those situations?

[53:12]

Did you guys hear the question? No. Okay. The question was, when somebody is lonely and sad, not doing well, and you want to help them, what do you do? So, for a lot of people, they get caught between the wanting connection and also being afraid to let others in. Often they're being very judgmental of themselves or they're afraid of judgment from others. And so they're struggling with the being able to let them in. And so what you can do, you want to respect their boundaries, of course, of how much they are willing to let you in or not.

[54:25]

We can't force people to let us in. But we can say, I'm here and this is how I see you. I see that you're struggling and I want to help. Or I see that you're struggling and I'll wait till you're ready to let me in. But I'm here and I want to come in. I want to be part of what comforts you and sometimes we use words to say that directly sometimes maybe we prepare a meal for someone and either share it with them or stay with them while they enjoy it but we keep coming back and we keep letting them know I'm here I'm here and Over time, they'll let you in.

[55:36]

Sorry, I don't know your name. Yeah, I'm Hannah. Hi, Hannah. Thank you for this talk. It was really, really touching. I guess sort of what came up for me or what I was wondering about um is that when i experience loneliness there's for sure like this field of suffering that um i can't take up my mask that uh inheres a loneliness that i think you articulated really well there's also for me part of coming to the present moment um sorrow and grief and I guess I'm wondering like because I feel like there's a way in which I have to attend to that as well as be open to you know all that's able to be connected to in the present moment like simultaneously almost but yeah I guess with with

[56:54]

What Suzuki said, I think that was Suzuki, about just opening your eyes and engaging and connecting. I find that difficult to do, or at least I can't do it in a seamless way. There's still this feeling of sorrow that isn't in the field of suffering. It's more of like a true kind of emotion that's speaking or saying something. And so, I guess, how do you hold that? How do you hold that? Okay. Did everybody? Okay, good. So, when connection doesn't happen, and I didn't say it, I think, enough about this, so I'm glad you asked your question, When connection does not happen, that's sad.

[57:58]

And there's something to grieve there. So when we try to connect and it doesn't happen, it results in misunderstanding. When it results in conflict, that's painful. That's sad. That's a loss. And so how do we deal with our vulnerability when our worst-case situation happens? How do we deal with the grief and sorrow or sadness when connection doesn't happen? And I think to see it for what it is, is that there's something in the way. Often when people are having a hard time communicating, What they're having a problem doing is listening and accepting. So when we're trying to have something, we're trying to convey something and the other person isn't understanding, it's often because they're trying to convey something different to us.

[59:10]

And so to really stop in the present moment What's happening there? What is each person longing for? Is it to be heard? Is it to be validated or respected for something? For perspective or choice or an opinion? To really come back and say, what's going on right here? What is needed and what is not, what need is not being fulfilled? And sometimes we have to really break it down. And it's not, I want you to believe X or I need you to do Y. It's that I just want some validation or some acknowledgement for something.

[60:17]

Does that answer your question? It answers some of it, I think, yeah. Okay. A good chunk. Okay. Maybe we can talk more later. Ken and Katie have Heather hand up. I can't hear you. There you go. There you go. I'm just thinking, when I think of loneliness, one of the things I think about is how it's not just in me or in my personal relationships, but in the whole society and systems around me. How much of our society is built around queer families, for example. Or the feeling, the delusion that being an adult means not asking for help, not needing help.

[61:23]

and just the, like, kind of sometimes overemphasis on independence and autonomy and, you know, that kind of thing. Also recognizing that connection and community are difficult, you know. You don't get exactly what you ask for. So I just was wondering if you could speak to kind of how loneliness is built into our environment perhaps. Well, that's a really big question. Did everybody hear that? Okay. And so in a nutshell, I think loneliness is getting worse, actually, because we are becoming more and more isolated. There are more and more people living alone. There are more and more people, like, as we become more independent, We're not forced together as much, which on one side can be a good thing so that we don't have to be dependent in ways that we don't want to be, but it also is a difficult thing because it means that we spend more and more time alone and potentially lonely without the resources to turn to and have others readily available there to help us.

[62:55]

I think it's something that we need to pay attention to, that often loneliness is something we're told to just dismiss or, you know, just go have a coffee with somebody. Like, that's going to solve it. And it doesn't. I think it's something we need to really increase our awareness of and recognize how Just like, you know, what's going to be our source of food? How are we going to make sure we have enough water to carry it around with us? And how are we going to take care of our connection with others, or just connection? How are we going to build that into our self-care, into our daily life? And that it's not something that we should just kind of leave to chance. That it's something that we need to actively plan out and address.

[64:02]

I think what comes to mind for me as well is that connection and community are a skill. Thank you. Thank you. So I see the... It's time. Okay. Things are... Oh. Welcome to Zen Center.

[67:28]

Welcome to everyone online and a special welcome to anyone visiting for the first time. My name is Joe and here's a few announcements for the week. BZC will be offering a JISO ceremony in person tomorrow from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. Registration is required. To register contact Dave Rushman or Ryushin Andrea Thatch. More information is available on the website. This coming Monday morning, Nancy Soob will deliver a Wayseeking Mind Talk at 8 a.m. on Zoom. Registration is open for a one-day Sashin next Saturday, March 25th. The Sashin will include both in-person and online participation. If you are not participating in the Sashin, you are welcome to attend the lecture at the usual time in the online Zendo, 1015. In-person attendance is limited to registered attendees. Also check the website to sign up.

[68:31]

And please note, we'll be having a women's session on Sunday, April 2nd. Information is forthcoming, but save the date. Outside on the courtyard table, there are cards for folks to sign to send to Jerry Oliva, whose husband recently passed away. Today is the last date to sign those cards before we send them, so please remember to do so. BCC students and members are strongly encouraged to meet and develop a relationship with a teacher or practice leader. Abbott Hozon and other teachers and senior students are available for formal Dokusan or practice discussion. Please visit the BCC website's Teachers tab for contact and for information about practice interviews. For more information about our programs or membership, please check the bulletin board outside, see the Zoom chat, or visit our website.

[69:33]

To make a donation to support BCC, please use the donations box outside in the courtyard, or visit our website and go to the generosity tab. Those in the Zendo, please maintain silence until you are off the porch, then feel free to socialize in the courtyard. If you picked up one of our folded chant cards in the alcove on the zendo, please return it to the alcove on your way out. Hey, Joe? Yeah. I'm just not sure if everybody here knows what a Jesus ceremony is. And I noticed Andrea and Dave are not here. So I just wanted to let folks know this is twice a year. We have an opportunity to really honor Jesus. and be with our grief and transform it together in a process of being with Jizo Bodhisattva, who is Bodhisattva, among other things, who is the quality of really compassionately being with transition.

[70:39]

And we have a Jizo garden out here, which is where we place memorial tokens and offerings during the Jizos ceremony which naturally over time also pass away. So if there's someone that you would like to remember and honor then I really encourage you to consider coming to the Jizos ceremony. Thanks Judy. So have a good day everyone and those online please feel free to unmute and say hi. Bye everyone. Good morning. Good seeing everybody.

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