I vow to taste the truth and to talk just words. Morning. This is a wonderful spring weekend. And it brings up a lot of volatile energy in us. So being able to sit sashim like this when the birds are singing and the sun is out, skies are clear, is quite a feat. So I I think we all need to realize that, actually.

[01:08]

Yeah, I think we all, I would like us to realize that that is so, that in the spring, the beginning of spring, it's very hard to sit still. And we all want to There's a lot of energy coming up and we all want to do something. And if we have something inside that needs release, it'll come out around this time. Anyway, there's a certain restlessness in the air. So anything can happen. Today, I want to read something

[02:16]

something that was written by Koun Ejo, Dogen Senshi's disciple. I think Meili read this when I wasn't here, when she gave her talk on the Komyozo Zamae. I've talked about this before. Komyo is light. Komyo-Zo is sometimes translated as Radiant Light and sometimes Divine Light. Divine Light has more religious or deific tone to it and Radiant Light is more scientific. But either way, it's the same meaning. I like Divine Light because it's a more, feels more religious.

[03:29]

It has a more, not deific, but deeper feeling. So, Dōgen wrote a fascicle called Kōmyō. And Kōen Eijo Zenji's commentary, which is quite long, is based on Dōgen's Kōmyō. And the excerpt is just a little part of that, Komyo, Komyo Zou Zamae of Eijo. So Komyo is,

[04:36]

light and zo is maybe treasury and zamai is samadhi or our samadhi as you know is not a special state of mind but our intuitive being when our mind is intuitively connected with or intuitively immersed in its own reality. So I'll read what Ejo has to say and make some comments on it. He says, I have some earnest advice for those who sincerely aspire to practice. Do not be pulled by a particular state of mind or by an object.

[05:42]

Do not rely upon intellect or wisdom. Do not carry in your hands what you have learned on the seat in the sangha hall. Cast your body and mind into the great komyozo and never look back. Neither seek to be enlightened nor drive away delusion. Neither hate the arising of thoughts nor love thoughts and identify with them. Just sit stably and calmly. If you do not continue to think, thoughts will not arise by themselves." Well, we can discuss that one. Just sit as if you were the boundless empty sky or a ball of fire. Trust everything to inhalation and exhalation.

[06:47]

Even if 84,000 idle thoughts arise, each and every one may become the light of prajna or non-discriminating wisdom. If you do not pay any attention and simply let them go, Not only in sitting, but every step you take is the movement of the light. Step after step, no discrimination. Throughout the day, be like a dead person, completely without personal views or discrimination. To inhale or to exhale, to listen or to touch. Being without thoughts and discrimination is nothing other than the tranquil illumination of the light in which body and mind are one. Therefore, when someone calls, you answer. This is the light in which ordinary people and sages, the deluded and the enlightened, are one. Even in the midst of change, the light is not hindered by it.

[07:50]

Forests, flowers, grass, and leaves, human beings or animals, big or small, long or short, square or round, all manifest themselves simultaneously, independent of discriminating thoughts or will. This is proof that the light is not obstructed by change. The light illuminates of itself. It does not depend on the power of the mind. From the beginning, the light does not rest. Even when Buddhas appear in this universe, the light does not appear. When the Buddhas enter nirvana, enter nirvana, the light does not enter nirvana. When you are born, the light is not born. When you die, the light does not die. It does not increase in Buddhas. It does not decrease in sentient beings. Neither is it diluted, even if you are, nor enlightened, even if you are. It has no position, no appearance, no name.

[08:52]

This is the whole body of all phenomena. You cannot grasp it. You cannot throw it away. It is unattainable. Although it is unattainable, it penetrates the whole body. From the highest heaven down to the lowest hell, all places are perfectly illumined in this way. This is the divine, inconceivable spiritual light. If you trustfully open yourself to and believe the profound meaning of these words, you will not need to ask someone else what is true or false. You will be as intimate with the reality as if you were to come face to face with your grandfather in a town. Do not seek from your teacher certification of your enlightenment or a prediction as to when you will attain Buddhahood, much less should you be attached to clothing, food, or a place to live, or be driven by attachment to sexual desire. From the beginning, this samadhi, komyo zo zamai, is the dojo, or the place of practice, which is the ocean of Buddhahood.

[09:59]

This is zazen, which is the sitting of the Buddha, the practice of the Buddha, which has been faithfully transmitted. Since you are already a child of the Buddha, sit stably in the manner of the Buddha's practice. Never sit in the manner of hell-dwellers, hungry ghosts, animals, fighting spirits, human beings, heavenly beings, Sravaka or Pracheka Buddhas. Practice shikantaza in this way. Do not waste your time. This is the dojo of straight mind. This is called komyozo zamai, or inconceivable liberation." That was very powerful. discourse. First he says, do not be pulled by a particular state of mind or by an object.

[11:02]

Sometimes in zazen, we feel that there is a state of mind called zazen mind or samadhi mind. And we try to attain a certain state of mind. For instance, we like to have calm mind. or clear mind, or enlightened mind, or wisdom mind. But any mind that we desire is nothing more than desire mind. So we turn our true mind into desire mind when we try to attain some special state of mind.

[12:18]

In zazen, although we make a certain effort to keep our attention focused, many states of mind appear. one state of mind appears after another, no matter how much we try to focus our mind or put our attention in a single place. And all the time that we're trying to do something, our unwilling mind is are constantly being changed, or in the realm of change, our mind is always grasping on something, or in an undesirable state, actually, if we have an idea about it.

[13:35]

But in true zazen there's no special state of mind. We don't try to attain a special state of mind. But each state of mind that appears is our life in the present. Every state of mind that appears is the appearance of our life in the present. So we have dream mind, various states of dream mind and awake mind. And we have thinking mind and non-thinking mind. He also says in the same sentence, don't be attached to some special object. And a special object can be some phenomena, phenomenon, or just our idea, a mental object, mind object.

[14:44]

So mind objects are ideas about something. But in true samadhi, even though in some meditation states people try to eliminate thoughts from their mind, to allow each state of mind to appear. One after the other is samadhi mind. To just allow each state of mind to appear, and states of mind can be very fast, or they can be longer. And to be aware of each state of mind is proper attention. as each mental state appears to be aware of the mental state. So awareness is the practice. Not trying to create some special state of mind.

[15:48]

And not to be attached to some object as a special state of mind. So we have pleasant states of mind, we have unpleasant states of mind, and we have neutral states of mind. Sometimes in zazen, if we have difficulty in our life, the difficulty in our life will appear in zazen, in our mind as a mental state. And sometimes it will become obsessive. So the first day of zazen, of seshing, is mostly dealing with the stuff that's been going on in our daily lives, the mental residue. keeps coming up in our minds. Our girlfriends, our families, our boyfriends, our job, the state of the world, our car, our money, relationships of various kinds.

[17:00]

These all dominate our mind a lot. In the first day of Zazen, for status issues. And some of these mental states are desirable, and some of them are not desirable. And some of them are just neutral. They're just stuff that comes up. Some things we would rather not think about. Some things we'd really love to think about. Some things we don't care about, whether we're thinking about them or not. But whatever comes up, is what's there and is our state of mind in the present. One of the problems we have is that we want to do what is good and not to do what is bad. And we want to enjoy what is good and not to suffer with what is bad.

[18:03]

And we want to accept the good side of ourself and reject the bad side of ourself. And this is a big problem. That we want ourself to be good and we don't want ourself to be bad. But in Zazen, When our thoughts come up, good thoughts, bad thoughts, desirable thoughts, undesirable thoughts, neutral thoughts, whatever they are, we just accept them completely as our state of mind of the present without judging them or trying to get rid of them or entertaining them. No entertainment. If you have something wonderful that comes in your mind, Don't entertain it. If you have something terrible in your mind, don't chase it away.

[19:07]

Just keep bringing your attention back to Sazen, your breath and posture. So it's just like Shakyamuni Buddha sitting under the bow tree when he had got enlightened. It's really no different. all the demons of his mind came to attack him. If you ever read the story of Buddha under the bow tree, all the demons of his mind came to attack him during the night. Everything that he could possibly conceive of came to attack him during the night, or came to pay him a visit. more appropriate. They came to pay their respects. But he didn't move, no moving. How did he deal with it? No moving, just going straight ahead.

[20:11]

So, just going straight ahead. A lot of times we had difficulty with that, with just going straight ahead. because we really feel a lot about, have a lot of sympathy for the thoughts that are in our head, for the thoughts and feelings that come up. But in samsara, even though the thoughts and feelings come up, they're just thoughts and feelings. And good things aren't any different than bad things. Even though we make a distinction in our feeling, actually, in zazen, good thoughts, bad thoughts, they're just thoughts.

[21:19]

They're just something coming up. They make some impression on us, but they're just what they are. And so we don't, if you entertain some bad thought, you're liable to get extremely anxious or angry or depressed or something. And if you entertain a good thought, you're liable to get jovial or excited or start to perspire or something. So just to let everything come up as it comes and be your state of mind of the present. And as soon as we find ourselves entertaining our thoughts one way or the other, to just bring our attention back.

[22:21]

This is what I'm doing. This is the path here. Amidst all of the stuff that comes up. So, not being attached to any object and not entertaining any particular state of mind. All states of mind are equal. And this point is so important to be able to accept our bad side equally with our good side. and not make a distinction, not make a judgment, just sit still. Then all good and bad thoughts are tied together at the root. doesn't mean that we don't do good and bad things.

[23:35]

Even though it's all one mind at the root, there's still good and bad. We still have to pay attention to doing something right, doing something wrong, doing something well, not being pulled by some wrong actions. That's the duality that exists within the oneness. But in Zazen, just oneness of duality. So any state of mind is just the reality of the moment. Without being upset by anything. If you're not upset by what comes into your mind, then your mind is calm.

[24:39]

You don't have to try to create calmness of mind. No matter what happens, you just pay attention to Zazen. This is also called not interfering with yourself. And then he says, do not rely upon intellect or wisdom. You know, when we're sitting in Sishin, That's an example.

[25:39]

And we have a lot of pain in the legs. But you can't figure it out with your mind. You can't figure it out with your intellect what to do about it. You have a lot of pain in your legs, but you have to sit, and you can't move. And your intellect will never figure out how to take care of it. So you have to chuck your intellect and your wisdom, no matter how much you know about the world or about life, it doesn't help. No matter how much you know about Buddhism, it doesn't help. You have to go beyond your intellect, your thinking mind, and your knowledge, and your understanding. So then he says again, do not carry in your hands what you have learned on the seat in the Sangha Hall.

[26:49]

Sangha Hall, I don't know what a Sangha Hall is, but in the old monasteries, there's a Buddha Hall, and a Dharma Hall, and a Zen Do, and among other buildings. The Dharma Hall, I think, the Sangha Hall, That's where the Sangha lives. But I think he just means what you've learned in the monastery. Don't carry it around with you as something. Don't carry some baggage of learning with you, but respond to circumstances from the true place of response. We sometimes respond with our ideas about things, what we've learned.

[27:51]

But actually, you can't depend on that. In your last moment, what will you depend on? This is a very important point. In our last moment, you cannot depend on what you've learned or what you've thought about. or the stuff that you're carrying around with you, you just have to respond from someplace. And we have to do that all the time. When we're faced with that kind of situation, unless we're faced with that kind of situation, it's not so easy because we fall back on other things to rely on. That's why we have Sashin to help us to get back to that original place. But we don't rely on anything.

[28:57]

There's nothing we can rely on except that place. So he says, do not carry in your hands what you have learned on the seat in the sangha hall. Cast your body and mind into the great komyozo, into the great treasury of light. Just cast your body and mind into it. In Soto Zen practice, As you know, it's different than most practices because in most disciplines, you start from ignorance and go to enlightenment, which is very logical. But in our practice, we just throw our body and mind into the great Komyo-Zo and swim.

[30:03]

It's like pushing you off the edge, and you either sink or swim. And what do you swim with? You have to find something to swim with. That's why when we first come to practice, we don't tell you much. Nobody tells us anything. You just go into this place and sit down, and there you are. Sink or swim. I remember when I first sat Zazen, the first time I sat Zazen, it was like somebody said, motion me to the seat. And I sat down in the seat and there was nothing there but the wall. It was wonderful, but very strange. Nobody told me what to do.

[31:06]

Some nice little man came up behind me and gently put my hands in the mudra, and adjusted my head and my back, and told me where to look, and that was all. No one, no, didn't tell me what it was about. Just swim, or sing. So I've been trying to swim ever since. And then he said, never look back. That's a great statement. Never look back. I didn't want to talk about that one. Just, that's how you do it.

[32:12]

And then he says, neither seek to be enlightened, nor drive away delusion. Neither hate the arising of thoughts, nor love thoughts in identifying with them. Well, I was talking about that. Just sit stably and calmly. If you do not continue to think, thoughts will not arise by themselves. Well, I didn't know that to be true. thoughts will not arise by themselves, but they do. We all know that even though we don't continue to think that thoughts arise by themselves. It's a pretty idealistic event to say that. But if you continue to sit for a long time and you don't have particularly obsessive thoughts to begin with, then I think that in the old days people didn't have as much to think about as they do today.

[33:25]

I really think so. The world is much smaller. But people, you know, I don't say they didn't have problems, but they did. But life was not as complex as it is today. And easier to have a calm mind. easier to not worry so much about things, or not have our minds so busy. We really have busy minds. And they keep getting busier. So I think the problems that we have today are a little stronger than the problems that people had in the past, in this situation. Sometimes it's as much as we can do to just be able to sit down and let our minds spit out, spit out thoughts. But even so, it's the same.

[34:28]

To just recognize your states of mind. Not try to get rid of the thoughts in your mind. Not try to seek enlightenment. Not push things out. not trying to make something come in. Just let it go as it goes without judging anything. And then he says, just sit as if you were the boundless empty sky or a ball of fire. That's a wonderful statement. How do you sit as if you were the boundless, empty sky? In the jhanas, one of the highest meditations is to be like empty space. Just to be like empty space. The jhanic meditations, the eight jhanas or nine jhanas, of the ancient Buddhists, which came actually from

[35:40]

meditation practices which preceded the Buddhists in India, and were somewhat adopted by them, are still a kind of basis for zazen. Although we don't practice the jhanic practices, meditation practices, in the same, in a systematic way, the elements are all there in our practice. And boundless space is a state of mind in practice. in Zazen. We don't seek that state of mind, but to sit with that attitude, boundless space. Boundless space means whatever, the sky is just open. Clouds come and go, airplanes come and go, wars are fought through it. It rains, it thunders. But the sky is just big enough that I'm moving.

[36:45]

It just all happens. The sky is big enough to let it all happen. And then when everything's gone, it's just blue sky again. That's actually state of mind, if you want to talk about a state of mind in zazen, that is your state of mind in zazen, like the vast sky in which anything and everything can come and go. And the more is there, the bigger it gets. It has no limit, no boundary, no shape. What time am I supposed to start? 12. OK. Well, I'll stop there.

[37:48]

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