First, I want to mention how encouraging it is to have the... encouraging for all of us to experience the effort of people whose first sasheen this is. If this is your first Sashin, you probably think that you're doing terribly. But actually, those of us who have had a lot of experience understand exactly what's going on with you. And we've all been through that ourselves. So, first Sashin is kind of like stepping out into the great unknown, or being tossed into the black sea with nothing to hold on to, no signposts, no

[01:21]

props, no rafts, just one breath after the next, just making it through one moment after the after moment. So the effort it takes to do that is very encouraging to all of us. You may think that you're doing very poorly, but actually your practice is quite wondrous and courageous. Whether you can sit still or not is not the point. What is the point is your effort. Even though you can't do it, you're doing it. So this is very encouraging to the old students.

[02:34]

And the old students who have a lot of experience, know how to sit well, their practice is a great encouragement for you. In some sense, everyone's practice is different and exactly the same. So, I encourage you to continue the way you're doing, or even more so, to the end of Sesshin. And if you need some help, we'll give you some help. If you need some advice, we'll give you some advice. Don't hesitate to ask for it. Don't hesitate to check, and how am I doing, or what should I do, or I can't do this anymore, or something like that.

[03:44]

If you need some help, ask for help. Or that goes for anyone. Even though we may have set 10 or 20 saschins, sometimes we find ourselves in a position where we need some help. And in some sense, saschin for someone who has sat, maybe someone sat a hundred Sashins, but it feels like their first Sashin. So you never know what to expect. And if you expect something, that maybe you had a certain easy time

[04:53]

Last time, and it's so difficult this time, you may think there's something wrong. But actually, there's nothing wrong. Last time was easy. This time is difficult. There's no accounting for it. If you look for reasons, if you look around for reasons, then you can have a big problem. So without looking around for reasons, why is this one difficult and the last one was easy? Or why is this one easy and the last one was difficult? You set yourself up for a psychological quagmire. If it's easy, just enjoy the ease. If it's difficult, just enjoy the difficulty. Yesterday I was mentioning the seven factors of enlightenment, or seven factors of awakening.

[06:25]

Enlightenment is kind of a charged word. When we hear the word enlightenment, you know, lights go off in our mind. It's like the jackpot. Or the pinball machine, you know. You have six balls and on the fifth ball all the lights go off. So awakening is a little more gentle and rational. Seven factors of awakening. But I like enlightenment, the word enlightenment, because it talks about light. And so in the sense of light, I think enlightenment is quite wonderful. And I don't want to ignore it. So I'm used to thinking in terms of the seven factors of enlightenment.

[07:28]

So I'll continue to say the seven factors of enlightenment. The seven factors which reveal the light of our mind I noticed when we are serving during meals, we have really good energy. I think that's a real good factor. As a matter of fact, energy is one of the seven factors of enlightenment. The third factor is energy. And we come into the Zendo with, the servers come into the Zendo with really good energy.

[08:30]

But energy needs to be balanced by something. And so even though we have really good energy, energy needs to be balanced by tranquility. So what I notice sometimes is even though we're very intent, we have lots of energy and also good concentration. Concentration is the sixth factor of enlightenment. Tranquility is the fifth. So we have good energy and good concentration. But sometimes we lack tranquility, or settledness, or stillness. When we're moving, quickly doing something, with good energy, it's easy to be concentrated on the result.

[09:46]

But especially in this setting of the zendo, we should be very careful to be concentrated on the activity itself. So this whole setup of bringing over the food from the kitchen, getting yourself ready, to serve, actually coming into the zendo with these pots and spoons and so forth, and this body. We're moving the pots and spoons, but we're also moving the body. The body and the pots are two things.

[10:50]

But when the action is present, it's one thing. And we're moving through space, through some environment. So the body and the pots and the environment are one thing. And we're doing it with some intention. And intention belongs to the mind. So we're moving with mind, pots, body, and environment as one piece. And the environment includes the floor, those stairs back there, the tans, all these people sitting on the tans, So, myself includes intention, pots, body, walking, carrying, breathing, floor, footsteps, tons, people,

[12:13]

A lot of stuff going on here. Lots of stuff. It's very complex. And this is just the surface. So, in order to do this kind of simple thing, which really is bringing the food in a serving, there has to be attention. some kind of investigation, which means, how is this done? And energy, and some feeling of enjoyment, or state of mind, pleasant state of mind, or cheerful state of mind, wholesome state of mind. and tranquility or settled, still feeling and concentration and equanimity.

[13:24]

All the seven factors of enlightenment are present in moving from that door to this seat. within our activity, what are we doing? This is the big question that we should always be asking ourselves. What am I doing? This is the fundamental koan. Or you can just say, what's doing? If you want to see to use this koan as koan without self, you can just say, what's doing? If you want to use this koan as with self, you can say, what am I doing? So

[14:37]

within every moment or activity, these seven factors are present, or should be present. And in meditation, in the sutra, the sutra states, when meditating on the mind, or the objects of mind, we should know, is the factor of attention present or not present? Is the factor of investigation present or not present? Is the factor of energy present or not present? Is the factor of joy present or not present? Is the factor of tranquility present or not present?

[15:41]

Is the factor of concentration present or not present? And is the factor of equanimity present or not present? And you should not judge yourself. Not judging yourself means that you know how to accept with equanimity your mistakes. which is something that I would like all of you to learn how to do. One of the biggest hindrances that we have is not being able to accept our mistakes with equanimity.

[16:47]

So we cover them up or pretend they're not there or hide or something. So, during this session, I would like us to really pay attention. You may or may not be able to remember what all these are, but they're pretty simple. The main thing is if you just pay attention to what you're doing. Really pay attention to the body, the feelings, the mind, and mental states, mental objects, mind objects. Or, if you just put your attention on breath and stay calm. Tranquility is a wonderful word.

[17:51]

The Sutra sometimes uses a different term, which is something like rapture. rapture has the feeling of ecstasy. And Suzuki Roshi always warned us against trying to induce ecstatic states. He was a very down-to-earth kind of person. And people would ask him about, of course in meditation, you know, people are always wondering about ecstatic states of mind or beyond the beyond states of mind. And he was always warning us not to try to induce some particular state of mind. I think this was

[19:00]

is very important to him that zazen is just to be in the norm, just to have a normal state of mind. not some special state of mind, which is maybe difficult to understand sometimes. But then what is normal state of mind? That's a good question. What does it mean to just be normal? Is there such a thing? We always say everyday mind is the way.

[20:10]

But what is everyday mind? Who's everyday mind? What we mean by normal everyday mind is normal everyday non-dualistic mind. Normal everyday enlightenment. The mind which is seated in non-duality, the one mind. So he was always saying, your activity should come forth from big mind, not little mind.

[21:17]

Little mind is the mind that's always looking for ecstatic states. The small mind is the mind that's always trying to add something or to get something. Trying to induce ecstatic states is a kind of greediness. And people make this mistake within Buddhism. So the norm is the mind of equanimity, which understands the equality of everything's difference, and the difference of everything's equality, and does not pick and choose on the basis of egocentricity.

[22:30]

So it's maybe the non-selfish mind. But self, selfishness means not just doing something for yourself, but it means understanding that there is in reality no self, no special self that's yourself. So selfishness is based on the understanding that there is a self that exists as itself. The mind of equanimity is the mind that understands that this self exists as everything and has no special nature.

[23:49]

So the purpose of Zazen is to realize the no-self of this self. Not to take away this self, but to realize the reality of it. If we say, you can say, there's no self. That's very radical. But what is no self? No self is the reality of this self. The Sutra says, no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind. But the no-no's is the no-no's of the no's. The no-i's is the no-i's of the i's. If there was no-no's, you wouldn't have to say anything. So, reaching ecstatic states is not the purpose of meditation.

[25:09]

The purpose of zazen is to know yourself. And when you know yourself, you can have ecstatic ecstasy even knowing that you're going to die. That's the mind of equanimity. So, sitting in zazen, equanimity means to be without preference, without picking and choosing, just to experience the equality of all states.

[26:18]

When there's pleasure, it's just pleasure. When there's pain, it's just pain. When there's a neutral feeling, it's just a neutral feeling. Whatever arises is just what it is. And the mind of equanimity accepts everything equally, even though all these states are different. Everything is different and equal. This is how we find settledness or tranquility in our life. It doesn't mean that we don't like brown rice better than white rice or white rice better than brown rice.

[27:33]

But when white rice comes, we just eat white rice. When brown rice comes, we just eat brown rice. When a pleasurable feeling comes, we just eat pleasure. When a painful feeling comes, we just eat pain. with big mind. A big mind means that whatever comes, our mind is big enough to accept it. When pain comes, you know, if you sit zazen, wanting some pleasurable feeling, then you'll always be in pain.

[28:41]

But if you just sit without expecting anything, then whatever comes first, you're open to. Whatever comes second, you're open to. Whatever comes third, you're open to. So that from the beginning, you're open. If you expect something, then you're not open As long as you're expecting something, you can't be open to whatever is coming. So, you have to be open from the very beginning and be attentive. This is the first factor of enlightenment, to be attentive to whatever is there. This is also called mindfulness. So the first moment, you're just open to whatever feeling is present.

[29:44]

The next moment, you're open to whatever feeling is present. When you practice with your breath, then your breath is moment after moment. Each moment of breath is a moment. So on each moment of breath, what feeling is present? And the light of mindfulness illuminates that breath, the moment, and whatever feeling is present, and whatever state of mind is present. And the next moment, it changes with the breath. And the next moment, it changes with the breath. In that way, we become one with the breath, one with the moment, one with our mind, one with the feeling, and one with change, and one with no change.

[30:52]

The thing that changes is the phenomena. What doesn't change is openness. stillness, settledness, tranquility. Tranquility is that ability to be at the center of openness. Tranquility is the great receptor. So moment after moment, our mind opens wider and wider, and tranquility gets deeper and deeper, so deep and wide.

[32:01]

And whatever is happening on the surface fits in. There's nothing that doesn't fit in to our mind. there are no obstacles. In this mind, there are no obstacles. But if we start to resist, or start to reject, or start to pick and choose, or start to desire something, then the mind closes down, and we can no longer accept. And then we're just kind of pushing through. It's okay to push through. And our mind does close down. It closes down, and then it opens up. Then it closes down, and then it opens up. This is the nature of the way we practice. But if your effort is to keep the mind open, then you're really practicing, no matter what happens.

[33:13]

Even if you can't sit still, If you're making the effort to keep the mind open and sit very, very still, that effort itself is true zazen and will eventually be transformed. But we have to make that kind of effort. So it's like you sit down, you say, God, my legs are going to hurt again, you know, or this stuff is going to go on in my mind again. But each time you have the opportunity to open yourself from the beginning. It's like the baby elephant story. I hate to say this again. I say it once in a while. But, you know, if you pick up a baby elephant, If the elephant mother picks up the baby elephant when it's a little baby, every day, when it's very light and small, then by the time the baby elephant gets to be a big elephant, will the mother still be able to pick it up, even though it weighs a couple of tons?

[34:34]

Or will you be able to? If you pick up the baby when it's small, you can still pick it up when it's big. But if you wait until it gets big before you pick it up, you're in for big trouble. And this is the way it is with the feelings that you have and the mental states that we have. If we wait until they get big and heavy to accept them, then of course they're going to crush us. So we have to pick it up right away. we have to open right away before things get difficult. So when we first sit down, it feels okay, even if I, you know, but then after a little while, it starts getting heavy.

[35:40]

You can't wait until it starts getting heavy. You have to dive in there right away and pick it up. This is attentiveness and concentration. The attentiveness and concentration and energy and equanimity have to be there right from the beginning. We have to establish that right away in our sitting. Otherwise, we wait until it gets heavy and then we say, oh God, there it is again. And when you do that, you'd be surprised how much you can accept. Because your mind is boundless. But we limit it. We limit our capacity. But our capacity is boundless. And if you untie the knot of your mind right in the beginning, then you can accept whatever is your do.

[36:52]

So I would like to encourage us to practice this way, both in zazen and in our moving samsara, and then to extend this to our daily life. Do you have a question? The sudden and the gradual what? Enlightenment? Yeah.

[38:09]

Yeah. Well gradual and sudden. Okay. I think I understand your question. sudden and gradual are two sides of the same coin. Early on, the Zen people, Zen monks, made some distinction between the sudden enlightenment of Huineng and the gradual enlightenment of usually encountered within Buddhism. So I think that Buddhism is usually considered the gradual, step-by-step way to enlightenment, and Zen is usually considered the sudden way to enlightenment, where the mind opens all at once and

[39:15]

reality is seen completely. But even Hui Neng said, there are some people who are slow, some people who are quick. This controversy was a big controversy in around the 8th century or so, 9th century in China. But sudden and gradual, you know, we have... Gradual doesn't mean not practicing for a long time. For someone who has been practicing for a long time, their mind suddenly opens. That's called sudden enlightenment. but to practice step-by-step program, where first you're on this level, then you're on that level, then you're on this level, and pretty soon you reach enlightenment.

[40:32]

That's the gradual school. But in both cases, there's gradual practice. So, but gradual, but not in the sense of gradation or step-by-step. So this practice, Zen practice, is not a practice of step-by-step graduation. Like, you know, you're on this level, then you're on this level, then you're on this level. It's not like that. You can be practicing for 50 years and not have an awakening, or you can be practicing for two months and have an awakening in Zen. That's possible. In some other gradual practice, you practice the various levels and you graduate.

[41:38]

So that's kind of the difference between gradual practice and sudden illumination. But in Soto Zen, we start out with enlightenment. Enlightenment is the beginning of our practice. So we're not working toward enlightenment in our practice. We're working toward the development of our character after enlightenment. So we should all be working on our character. Yes? Well? Some real characters.

[42:50]

Well, hopefully we know ourself. Character means knowing yourself and not so much improving yourself, you know, to know this is a right action, this is a wrong action, and to know the difference, even though within wrong actions and right actions, everything is equal. Nevertheless, there's a wrong action and a right action. So within non-discrimination, there's discrimination. Within no picking and choosing, we have to know how to pick and choose. It means being ourself completely.

[43:56]

and accepting everyone else completely. And the way we refine our life or work on our character is if we're really working for the sake of the Dharma. If you're really intent on working for the sake of the Dharma, then everything is your teacher. and every activity, every act is a way to practice. So there is no end. It's just continuous practice. And to make the effort to be immersed in reality endlessly. you may see some priests who look nutty. But you have to realize that everyone is in a different place.

[45:12]

And as long as this process is happening, we can appreciate everyone's effort. There's no special way that we should act or look, but as long as we're all making that sincere effort, we're on the right track. And enlightenment is there. So, we can appreciate each other even though you're not perfect and I'm not perfect. But in our imperfection... Yes. But... Repentance is something that we should be doing every moment.

[46:22]

Repentance means turning. It means re-turning. So we should be returning moment by moment. It means giving up and returning. And we do that all the time. We should be doing that all the time. We have a big repentance ceremony, you know, in which that But it's, you know, the real repentance is to constantly let go of ego and return to our true Self. When we make a mistake, to acknowledge the mistake and turn. Not to dwell on past, dwelling on past mistakes is one of the hindrances. It's not one of the five hindrances, but it's one of the hindrances to practice. You know, oh, I was so bad.

[47:25]

Oh, God, I'm so terrible. Just stop and turn. Uh-oh. I can see a lot of sinners in this group. One question, David. Yeah, well my true feeling, I'll say my true feeling and then I'll say something. My true feeling is that to do something always involves a risk.

[48:29]

And, you know, if you're a roofer, you might fall off the roof. And if you're a mailman, you might slip on a banana peel. every occupation has a risk. Even if you're sitting all day, you know, typing, your back's going to go out. You know, you do a day after day in a little office, you know, or your eyes are going to go out. Whatever you do, there's a risk, an occupational hazard. And in Zazen, there's also an occupational hazard. And you may do a little damage to your body in some way. That's there. That's my true feeling. And if you continue, you'll probably have some aches and pains.

[49:36]

And you could do some damage to your knees or something like that. So, I will say this, even though I say to sit still with the problem. If you have to move, move. No one can tell you that but yourself. So if you have to move, move. But I need to say, don't move. And you need to say, I have to move. That's all right. You should know yourself. But, you know, if you find that it's hairy problem, you know, to know what to do exactly. So I encourage you to not move when you think you have to move. Unless, you know, you know something. But at least try it. At least try it.

[50:42]

So, but I acknowledge that there's you could cause yourself some problem. The biggest problem is caused by resistance. So if you have a lot of resistance, you know that you're more prone to having a problem. If you don't have so much resistance, then even though you have a lot of pain and difficulty, you're not resisting it. So it may cause you a problem for the moment, but it's not so likely to cause you a problem in the long run. But resistance will cause you all kinds of problems. So you have to be careful. Don't take an extreme position. When you start sitting, take an easy posture. Don't try and sit full lotus or something like that, or even half lotus.

[51:44]

Take a posture that you know is going to be the easiest one. I always encourage people to take the easiest posture that they can sit for a long time. You get broken down to that anyway. It's hard enough just to sit. It's hard enough for most people just to stay in your seat. So don't drive yourself too hard in that way. So you have to regulate it, but there's some possibility that you have some problem. So be careful. At the same time, What can I say? Do it. I have my own solutions for my problems.

[52:50]

I worked out my own way of taking care of the problems I have. And you have to work out the way of taking care of the problems you have. And we can suggest to you how that is, but you have to find it for yourself. Just like you have to find out how to sit still all by yourself. You have to find out how to accept what's coming in all by yourself. We can give a lecture about it and talk about it, but you have to find it yourself. And when you find it, you find real joy, even though you may cause yourself a problem. I may cause myself some problem. And, you know, I've had problems with my legs from time to time. But I've always managed to work within the problem.

[53:53]

That's my way, right? My way has always been to just keep going into the problem rather than retreat from it. And I've always found that going deeper into the problem will unlock the problem. But if I try to retreat from the problem, then the problem stays a problem. That's my way, and you have to find your way. But I'm convinced of that way. Be careful and sit well. Thank you.

[54:53]

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