Well, we're here to study Dogen's, Master Dogen's Kakudoyo Jinshu, variously translated as, mostly as points to watch in Buddhist training. I don't know if you can hear me. There's an airplane going by and I can't compete with that. And there are two seats up here, if anybody can't hear. First of all, I just want to talk a little bit about our books. I recommended that everyone get a copy of Moon in a Dew Drop. I don't know how much it costs now. There's a second printing. How much does it cost? It's $16. $16, which is a real bargain. And Eric has some copies, if you need one.

[01:06]

I don't particularly want to Xerox copies for you, because I think it's a book you should have if you're a Zen student. Here. So I want you to buy the book. And if you don't have the money, I'll give it to you. Seriously. we're printing a new one. There's a new follow-up of this coming out in the spring, which we've been working on very hard for the last five years. So, translating. And that will be a really nice addition. And many more fascicles of Dogen. And that book, Also, it's put together in such a way that it gives you a sense of the progression of Dogen's life and his work.

[02:10]

And there are letters that he wrote and dialogues that he had with people and so forth. So a lot of interesting things, like personal things that kind of bring Dogen together. points out Dogen as kind of personal stuff that gives you a different impression. Anyway, besides that book, there are a number of translations. This Dogen Zen, which was translated by Okamura sensei, It's a wonderful book, and it has a translation of Gakudo Yuujinshu with good notes. That's a book everyone should have, too.

[03:12]

But I'm not going to make you buy it. I might give it to you. This one. This is Zen Master Dogen by Yokoi, who It was printed quite a number of years ago, but it also has a very good translation of Gakudogyo Jinchu. And this is Bob Rosenbaum's new book, Zen and the Heart of Psychotherapy. You know Bob Rosenbaum, right? And he has a commentary on Gakudogyo Jinchu from a psychotherapeutic point of view. So you might find that interesting. So I'll make a little bibliography of these books and put it on board so you will be able to find these books.

[04:13]

In the course of this class, if you ever have any questions, You don't have to wait until I'm finished. If it's a pertinent question, just raise your hand so that I clarify whatever it is. I'll try to. The way I want to do this class is to read and make some comment on this in 10 sections. So to read and make a comment on the first section. and then open it up for discussion. And we can't do all the ten sections. There's a short section after the first one, which we might do that tonight, but I thought that we would try to do what we can, and then during the practice period, I will

[05:20]

pick out certain sections to lecture on during my lecture, Saturday lecture. So Dogen wrote this, let's see, here's the date here. It was eight years after he came back from China. in 1234, the year 1234. And it's a kind of primer for practice. Fukanza Zengi talks about zazen. And Gakudo Yuujinshu talks more about the spirit of practice and the various points to watch.

[06:28]

within practice. And it's a very well-known text in Japan for Soto Zen monks and practitioners. So I'm going to use, of course, the Muna Nidudra version, even though it may not be exactly the best all the way through. I think each one of these translations has some way of expression which is better than the other translations. But it's hard to say which translation is best. So I'm just going to use this one. And if you have some other translation, you might follow along with it.

[07:30]

So in this section, Dogen has three points. First section, arousing the bodhi mind, dropping the desire for fame and gain, and impermanence. So, Gakudo Yujinshu, the way-seeking mind, here he calls it guidelines for studying the way. And then he says, you should arouse the thought of enlightenment. That's the first statement. Arouse bodhi mind, bodhichitta, or arouse bodhi mind. Arousing the thought of enlightenment is the same as way-seeking mind. Actually, same thing. And so, as you know, we talk a lot about way-seeking mind. And on Monday mornings, we give our way-seeking mind talk.

[08:50]

This is how you aroused the thought of enlightenment, or how you came to practice. He said, the thought of enlightenment has many names, but they all refer to one and the same mind. doshin, which means way-mind, and bodhichitta, which means way-seeking mind, bodhi-mind. So there are various ways of expressing this. In other words, seeking the mind of reality. You should arouse the thought of enlightenment.

[09:55]

Seeking the mind which is real. That which is the real. Also, as Buddha says, seeking the norm. If you read the Pali scriptures, Shakyamuni Buddha is always talking about the norm, normal mind, not some abnormal mind or some special mind, but norm. And in Zen koan, we say, everyday mind is the way. Normal mind is the way, but what does normal mean? Norm doesn't mean your everyday dualistic, one-sided understanding. The norm is the mind of non-duality.

[11:01]

Or the norm is the mind of enlightenment. Anyway, it's a wonderful koan. What is the norm? So then he says, ancestor Nagarjuna, who is the 14th ancestor in our lineage, says, the mind that fully sees into the uncertain world of birth and death is called the thought of enlightenment. That's an interesting statement. the uncertain world of birth and death. Dogen often talks about the great matter. The great matter is the great matter of birth and death. What is it, really?

[12:07]

So the mind that fully sees into the uncertain world of birth and death, we don't know when this life will turn over and come apart. And how do we see fully into that and understand it correctly? People have different ways of looking into it and various tales that we tell ourselves. It's very reassuring to have a story about it. Very reassuring. All religions have a story about birth and death and about what happens after you die. where you go, and it's very comforting.

[13:18]

If you don't have some story, then you get very jittery. You get nervous. We get anxious if we don't know what happens and where we go. But I'm not going to tell you where we go. But it's important to keep penetrating what is the meaning of birth and death. Not the meaning in terms of meaning, but in terms of reality. What is the reality of birth and death? He says, thus if we maintain this mind, this mind can become the thought of enlightenment. can maintain the Bodhi mind, maintain the mind that looks into this matter, then this mind will become the mind of enlightenment.

[14:31]

When I read that, it reminded me of when Master Matsu where it's at. To me, it feels like if we can maintain this mind, then it's going to turn into something. Oh, I see. Maintain the mind. Yes. We don't sit Zazen in order to become enlightened. We sit Zazen because we're enlightened. This is the meaning of this story, which I don't want to go into right now, the whole story, because that would be a digression. But the enlightened mind leads us to discover

[15:42]

or to penetrate and understand. So, he says, if we maintain this mind, this mind can become the thought of enlightenment. It doesn't mean that you gain something. It means that there's transformation. Ordinary mind, or our seeking mind, becomes illuminated. It's like practice illuminates and illumination is practice. Practice is illumination and illumination is practice. Practice and enlightenment are not two different things. Practice generates illumination. And illumination is the result of practice, but it's not a gaining, because they're not two different things.

[16:55]

You don't gain enlightenment. You merely become illuminated, which is your true nature. So you don't sit to become Buddha. It kind of catches me. Oh, become. Well, yeah. It may be the translation. Maybe that word wouldn't be so good. Maybe some other word would be better. But I don't think it means become in the sense of you become something different than what you are. Indeed, when you understand, Discontinuity. Now this is an interesting word. When you understand discontinuity, the notion of self or ego does not come into being. Ideas of name and gain do not arise.

[17:58]

Fearing the swift passage of the sunlight, practice the ways of saving your head from fire. Reflecting on this ephemeral life, make endeavor in the manner of Buddha raising his foot. I'll tell you about that story. You know, you might think when you understand transiency, or when you understand impermanence, then the notion of self does not arise. But he says when you understand discontinuity, that's a word that's used here by the translators. We talk about continuous time and discontinuous time. Discontinuous time is when we break time up into pieces. And continuous time is the time which is always now.

[19:07]

And it's not discriminated time. It's not time which is one o'clock and two o'clock. It's just the time which is always now. That's continuous time. But we don't usually experience continuous time. We experience time as discontinuous. Day and night. One o'clock, two o'clock. time for this and time for that. When you understand discontinuity, when you understand what discontinuous time is, then the notion of self does not come into being. It's a funny word. I mean, I can understand it this way. but usually it's translated as when you understand transiency or impermanence.

[20:14]

Yes. They're not continuous in their life. Well, discrete moments. Yeah, right. So discrete moments is discontinuity. Right. One o'clock, two o'clock are discrete moments. And although it looks like our life is moving in one wave, it's actually incremental. It's like the motion picture where you have various little frames. But when the picture is going, you don't You don't see each little frame, you just see the continuity.

[21:18]

But when you slow it down, way down, you can see each frame and how each moment, when you break it down into fine moments, each one is discrete. So this is kind of discontinuity. And when you understand this, that life is not just one continuous wave, but is made up of discrete moments, then you have some understanding of self. But impermanence and transience also fit right into this as well. But the meaning here is when you're free from attachment to self.

[22:26]

That's the real meaning here. When you understand discontinuity or when you understand impermanence or transience, then it's much more easy to be free of a self. You realize that the self only exists moment to moment. It's much easier to be free of it. So this brings up the whole notion of what is self, what is ego, and how does a self arise? Fearing the swift passage of the sunlight, practice the ways as though saving your head from fire. This is a statement by Shakyamuni that our head is on fire. It's his famous fire sermon, which he gave one of his very first sermons, that people's heads are on fire, meaning they're really burning up with desire.

[23:36]

People are burning up with desire. But this is also used as, like, your head is on fire. You should practice as if your head is on fire, to put out the fire. Reflecting on this ephemeral life, make endeavor in the manner of Buddha raising his foot. Buddha, this is like Buddha's mythology back in the old days, about 10,000 kalpas ago, when he was an attendant or something of some Buddha in the past. Purnabuddha. He stood on tiptoe for seven days reciting verses in praise of Purnabuddha.

[24:45]

This is kind of like a very difficult practice, you know, to stand on your tiptoes for seven days, right, chanting. He's using this as a kind of extreme practice. It almost is ascetic. As a matter of fact, it is ascetic. It doesn't belong in Buddhism. It really doesn't. Because in other places, Dogen talks about those people who go to the extreme of wrapping their their ankles around their neck, you know. He says, you shouldn't have to do that. Zazen is not like that, you know. You shouldn't have to go to that extreme. People standing on one leg, you know, for a long time, for days. You don't have to do that. That's an extreme.

[25:52]

But here, he points this story out. So it's a little bit contradictory. But Dogen does that sometimes. He's not perfect. It's an endurance contest. But it's not like you're fighting pain. You can't fight pain. In order to deal with the pain in Zazen, it forces you to let go. and become one with the painfulness and then it's no longer the same. So if it was just an endurance contest to fight, you know, see how you can struggle with it, it wouldn't mean much.

[26:57]

But the point is that it forces you to let go and give up your discriminating mind. That's the point. Then he says, when you hear a song of praise sung by a Kinara god or a Kalavinka bird, these are mythical beings which have these wonderful voices. that totally carry you away. Kind of like the sirens, you know. Well, he says, let that be as the evening breeze brushing against your ears.

[28:01]

Kind of soothing, but don't get caught by it. Let it be like the morning dew coming into your sight. Wonderful, but don't get caught by it. Freedom from the ties of sound and form naturally accords with the essence of way-seeking mind. So he's saying, when you hear and see wonderful things, don't get caught by them. Let them, enjoy them. Enjoy the sound, enjoy the sight, and then go on. If in the past or present you hear about students of small learning or meet people with limited views, often they have fallen into the pit of fame and gain. The Kinara god is actually the god of music.

[29:15]

And then he says, and never forget, I'm sorry, I'm not going to read that again because I haven't turned the page. If in the past you hear about students of small learning or meet people with limited views, Often they have fallen into the pit of fame and profit and have forever missed the Buddha way in their life." What a pity, how regrettable. You should not ignore this. This is a stiff admonition. It sounds unforgiving because he says, missed forever the Buddha way in his life. Whoa. And I missed it. Well, sometimes we do miss things. Yes, it's not saying you, but it's saying they have fallen into the pit, and they have fallen.

[30:26]

And you should notice it. Yes, and you should notice it, that's true. So fame and gain is one of Dogen's, one of the things that he most warns against. You should not practice for fame, you should not practice for gain. In Dogen's time, there was a lot of, you know, insincerity. Insincerity and I think we have to put the whole practice of Dogen into perspective of his time. Because in Dogen's time, Buddhism was mostly scholarly or ritualistic.

[31:38]

In Japan, there was no Zazen to speak of. There was no daily practice to speak of. in the sense that we know, or that we have, or has come down to us, or what developed after Dogen. And he went to China to find out what practice is really about. And he seems to have. Then he came back and introduced Zazen, introduced daily practice and work and daily life as practice, which is totally different from the practices that were in Japan up to that time. So, he's talking a lot about the people of his time and what he saw as their problems with practice. But all these things still apply right now to us.

[32:39]

Mostly, you know, people in our practice are pretty sincere, very sincere. And we don't have a lot of people looking for fame and gain, really. I mean, I don't see anybody here looking for fame and gain, right? But in his day, and when there were a lot of Buddhists, and people, you know, a lot of temples, and bureaucracies, and positions, and so forth, then fame and gain become really important to people. And they forget what practice is about. So Dogen is trying to keep everybody, or trying to keep, maintain, or remind people that the practice is the thing, not the accoutrements.

[33:45]

Outside? What do you mean? In order to do what he needed to do, which was build temples and establish practice, he had to basically conduct himself within somewhat rarified circles. Yeah. He wasn't hanging out with farmers. He wasn't hanging out with anybody. Dogen was strictly, I wouldn't say a loner, but he did not associate, didn't seem to associate with other practitioners in Japan. You'd never hear him talking about other abbots or practitioners after he came back from China.

[35:04]

I never heard him speak once of anybody except to put him down. But you do read of him having various relationships and alliances with leaders, boards. Mostly lay people. And some landowners. He was apparently an aristocrat. born into an aristocratic family. But I think he's also reminding himself, you know, because I think that he could easily have a tendency to do that himself. But, you know, there's this story about Dogen raising money for the temple. And he would only accept money from people who had sincere, way-seeking mind, lay people.

[36:20]

And there was a student of his, this is the way, I don't know if this is a true story, but there was a student of how true all of it is, but this student went out fundraising and he said, came back and said, I got all this dough from this person who Dogen didn't approve of. A lot of money. And Dogen dismissed the monk and dug a hole six feet deep where his meditation place was and threw the dirt away. I don't know if that's true or not. But that is the story. Threw the dirt away? What? Threw the dirt away? Or threw the money away? The dirt. I don't know what you mean. The dirt from under where this monk had been seated. It was so contaminated. Oh, oh, I see. The earth. What did he do with the money? He didn't have a gap in the money. You were saying that you sense that around here, in our time, or right here in our place, not too many people are after fame and gain.

[37:39]

And I just wanted to express that. I think that fame and gain can come in really small packages too. And so, I don't think I've ever met a person that wasn't susceptible to falling into that pit. It was just a little amount of fame and a little amount of gain. Well, I think one has to be open to accepting whatever fame they have. So, you know, people become famous in spite of themselves. They're not cultivating fame. They're not trying to go out and become famous, necessarily. Speak for yourself. Think for yourself. Maybe you're not. I sometimes do. But I'm saying that fame can come, and you should accept it as what it is. If someone becomes well-known, they can't hide it, or deny it, or whatever.

[38:47]

So that's just to be accepted. And gain means position or whatever. And whatever position one has is the position one has. But to seek some high position is what Dogen is talking about. OK, so he's warning against that. Because it is a tendency, right? Definitely a tendency. And people like climbing the ladder. fame and gain. And so, because that's there in everyone, it becomes an issue. So yes, the tendency is there in everyone, I agree with. So then he says, if you read the sutras of the expedient or complete teaching,

[39:53]

or transmit the scriptures of the exoteric or esoteric schools without throwing away name and gain. It cannot be called arousing the thought of enlightenment. So then he goes into talking about, this is presented in a very strange way. This next section is presented in a very strange way because he says, Some of these people, or I think it might be good to say, there are some people, would be a better way to say it, I think. But some of these people who read the sutras or transmit the scriptures of the exoteric or esoteric schools, that's what he's talking about, right? Some of these people who study these scriptures and who seek fame and gain say, the thought of enlightenment is the mind of supreme perfect enlightenment.

[41:07]

Do not be concerned with the cultivation of fame and profit. That sounds like a contradiction, right? This statement is not wrong. The statement is right, but it's not an excuse for not practicing. or it's not an excuse for fame and profit. So this is a criticism of those who study lofty teachings but don't practice the Bodhisattva spirit. There's nothing wrong with what they're saying, but they're not doing. It's easy for them to say these things, right? It's just like saying something, but with nothing of themselves behind it. And then some say, the thought of enlightenment is the insight that each thought contains 3,000 realms.

[42:08]

That's the Tendai teaching. But still, it's just words for them. You want to know what that means, the 3,000 teachings, the 3,000 realms? You know, there are the six worlds, right? The six realms in the circle. The heavenly realm, the realm of the fighting demons, the animal realm, the human realm, the hungry ghosts, and the hell realm. The six worlds, right? And then, it's like, Hell, and Heaven, and hungry ghosts, and animals, and humans, and fighting demons. That's six. Then there's Buddhas, the realm of the Buddhas, the Bodhisattvas, the Pracheka Buddhas, and the Arhats.

[43:21]

And then when you put them all together, that's one, well, the 10 states. So those are the 10 states of existence. And then each of these contains all the 10 realms as potential existences, making 1,000 realms. And each of these realms has 10 aspects of suchness equaling 1,000 realms of existence. Further existences are distinguished as being of three kinds, sentient existence, land or environment, and five constituents of being. And each has three. These three make 3,000 realms. I'm not going to go over that again, but I'm just giving you the idea of what that is.

[44:26]

It's probably in the notes. Yeah, it's in the footnote. OK. So then some of them say, the thought of enlightenment is the Dharmagate. Each thought is unborn. That's a wonderful statement, but it's just a statement for them. That's the Kegon teaching. then some of them say, the thought of enlightenment is the mind of entering the Buddha realm. This is the Shingon, eloquent speech and lofty translation. Such people do not yet know and mistakenly slander the thought of enlightenment. They are remote from the Buddha way. OK, why? Try to reflect on the mind concerned only with your own gain. Does this one thought blend with the nature and attributes of the 3,000 realms?

[45:32]

Does this one thought realize the Dharmagate of being unborn? There is only the deluded thought of greed for name and love of gain. There is nothing which can be taken as the thought of enlightenment." So these were the ideas that were around in Buddha's time that were prevalent and which people kind of thought were the loftiest Mahayana doctrines. So what he's doing is criticizing people for hanging on to these doctrines and expounding these doctrines, but with no practice. That's the point. And just in order to be If you understand lofty thinking and have a good way of, a good presentation, and people will look up to you and think with awe-inspiring, with their mouths open, oh boy, they really know, he really, something.

[46:39]

And then you kind of promote yourself with these ideas. That's what he's railing against. Promoting yourself using these ideas. for fame and gain. From ancient times, sages have attained the way and realized dharma, although as an expedient teaching they lived ordinary lives. This is upaya, expedient means or skillful means. Still, they had no distorted thought of fame or profit. not even attached to Dharma, how could they have worldly attachment? So, then he goes back, or he comes back to where he started.

[47:48]

The thought of enlightenment, as was mentioned, is the mind which sees into impermanence. This is most fundamental, and not at all the same as the mind pointed to by confused people. The understanding that each thought is unborn, or the insight that each thought contains three thousand realms, is excellent practice after arousing the thought of enlightenment. So he's not putting these ideas down. He said, this understanding is correct understanding, but you shouldn't indulge in this kind of understanding until after you've raised the Bodhi mind. And after you actually have committed yourself to the true practice. I'm curious, but it's not important to you.

[49:02]

Oh, it is. But I would rather talk about the after at the end, because you start talking about what itself. And this is connected with what itself. the understanding that each thought is unborn or the insight that each thought contains 3,000 realms is excellent practice after arousing the thought of enlightenment. This should not be mistaken. Just forget yourself for now and practice inwardly. This is one with the thought of enlightenment. We see that the 62 views are based on self. 62 views are various views that I believe that were prevalent in Buddha's time about what a self is. Permanence and soul and so forth.

[50:06]

So when a notion of self arises, sit quietly and contemplate it. I think that's an interesting statement. When the notion of self arises, sit quietly and contemplate it. What is self? Is there a real basis inside or outside your body now? Your body with hair and skin is just inherited from your mother and father. From beginning to end, a drop of blood or lymph is empty. So none of these are the self. What about mind, thought, awareness, and knowledge, or the breath going in and out, which ties a lifetime together? What is it after all? None of these are the self either. How could you be attached to any of them? Deluded people are attached to them. Enlightened people are free of them. You figure there is self where there is no self. You attach to birth where there is no birth.

[51:08]

You did not practice the Buddha way, which should be practiced. You did not cut off the worldly mind, which should be cut off. avoiding the true teaching and pursuing the groundless teaching, how could you not be mistaken?" So this is his conclusion for this section. So this brings up the whole question of what is self and what is birth and what is death. How does a thought arise, or what is the basis of a thought? Thoughts actually have no root. They arise from thinking, but they are transient.

[52:14]

Thinking, mind, is just There are various ways of speaking about how a self arises. When a thought arises, is the thought a self or not? Does it arise from self? Where does it come from? Does it arise from the center of the universe. There is a source for a thought, but thoughts are just conditioned. They arise through conditions, through causes and conditions. So they don't have a real basis. The causes and conditions, why aren't those the basis? Well, they are the basis, but they're not a true basis, because causes and conditions are ephemeral.

[53:20]

We are ephemeral. Yeah, that's right. We are also ephemeral. If we weren't ephemeral, we wouldn't be born. It goes together well. If we weren't ephemeral, we wouldn't be born. If we were eternal, we would never have been born. It's because we're ephemeral that we're born. That's right. Exactly. So birth and death arise out of the ephemeral. world. So there's just arising and falling. Things are arising and falling, arising and falling. So that birth and death is just a moment of that arising and falling. It's a kind of section that we identify. But there's just continual process or continual change.

[54:25]

So to say that there is birth and death is just a kind of convenient way of speaking about a certain section of this process. But self, another way of talking about self is that what we call self arises when there's grasping, or attachment, or clinging, or desire. If there's no attachment to desire, no clinging, no discrimination, then the self actually doesn't arise. This is called freedom from self. So, you know, our life is kind of back and forth between self and no-self, self and no-self.

[55:30]

We kind of, we undulate on this wave of sometimes there's no-self, and then sometimes it's big self. And if you practice, then You know, in Zazen, when Zazen is strictly Zazen, there's no self. There's no discrimination. There's no grasping. There's no hankering. There's no desire. It's just simply the universal activity expressing itself as this activity. And the self is not does not arise at that time. But then we get up and go outside and create the self again through grasping and desire and clinging and involvement in self-centeredness.

[56:40]

But when we're not self-centered, self doesn't arise. That's called saving sentient beings in Buddhism. That's the purpose of zazen. So, when you become attached to the pain, then the self arises. When you become attached to the pleasure, a self arises. When you become attached to not wanting this, a self arises. When you become attached to wanting this, a self arises. So it's very difficult to shake the self, to let go of the self really hard.

[57:47]

And then we also love our suffering. This is why, you know, like the third patriarch says, when love and hate are no longer in the picture, then everything is fine. Paul? I can't hear you very well. Yeah, it's true. They don't use the personal pronoun very much. Try to avoid that. But Japanese culture is very much based on identity. You identify with everything around you as the self, as the true self. That's why people, you don't stand out. in that society.

[58:55]

I mean, the one who stands out, you know, gets nailed down. But, I mean, you know, the society doesn't work perfectly, but there is that basis in that society. And Chinese society too, you know. You work for the benefit of everyone. And you're careful not to favor yourself, favor a self, which helps you to be free of self-centeredness. Our society promotes self-centeredness. And it's a problem. I mean, we love our freedom and our, you know, freedom to do what we want and raise the eye, you know.

[60:00]

But it causes a lot of suffering, even though our society, you know, works pretty well in some ways. In some ways it works pretty well. Oh yeah. Well, we don't want to give up ourself. We don't want to give up the self, you know. Because suffering, it makes us feel alive. You know, the two say like love and hate. As a child, children, you know, are very much interested in love.

[61:09]

But when it goes sour, then it turns around and becomes hate. And with lovers, you know, you're attracted by the love. And then maybe one of the lovers leaves and the other one feels all this suffering and anger. And the anger and the love turns into hate. And the hate is a strong emotion which replaces the love. Because if you just continue to love, then it's too frustrating. It takes away your power. So what gives you the power is the anger, the hate. But the suffering is still there.

[62:12]

And it's really hard to give it up. So in a sense, you know, We keep stepping into the same situations over and over again, which create our suffering. I mean, they think they want peace, but they don't. They want to suffer. I mean, look at the Middle East. All this peace, you know. They finally made a little try to make some peace, but everybody's throwing tomatoes at each other, you know, because they'd much rather suffer. It's true. They'd much rather suffer than forgive. And forgiving is too hard. They'd much rather stay with their suffering and continue it. And this happens all over the world. Whenever you have any kind of conflict, people get so into the conflict that that becomes their way of life. And then to back out, it's impossible.

[63:15]

And so the Irish, you know, this keeps going on and on. You can't make peace because it's too hard to back out. And so it's easier to stay with your suffering. Because your suffering makes you feel righteous. Paul? Well, when you understand how things arise, understand means understand perfectly.

[64:28]

Then the notion of a self doesn't arise. It's only the notion of dharmas arising and falling. It's a kind of reductionist way of thinking, that there is no such thing as the person. There's only the skandhas and the dharmas. You understand what I'm saying? I think so. They're only the elements. In order to understand this continuity, you have to see. You already there? I think we should take five minutes. We should have taken five minutes.

[65:31]

We should have taken five minutes. Please speak up. It's just a notion, not a question. You have a notion? This continuity of time and the self, non-self, existence of self seems in some way to connect. Don't do this. No, please. Thank you. I'm sorry. It seems connected to me to the way it describes time and being time. Well, in what part of it? In what part of that? In what part of that? No, I was trying to find it, but I haven't gotten it.

[66:38]

The time being here means time itself is being. So that would go for everything, including the existence of self. Yes, well, that's right. Time and phenomena are completely connected. Without time, there's no being. Without being, there's no time. So, in order to be totally present, one must be completely in time. But presence arises at each moment. That's the discontinuity. Each moment's changed dharma position appears on a point in time.

[67:38]

But at the same time, time, you know, is continuous in that it's not something that changes. The continuous time is time which is always now. It's not something which changes into past or future. It's just now. This now is always just now. But we take a whole cloth of now and divide it into little pieces and make little suits and jackets out of it called 1 o'clock and 2 o'clock. But it's really one piece of time. One piece of now. Different pieces of now. And we say, now it's 1 o'clock.

[68:43]

Now it's 2 o'clock. But it's just now, at the same time. So although it's moving in various directions, it's not going anywhere. It's just now. This is called eternal now, or continuous now. That's why each moment is an eternal moment. That's the basis of all the koans. the eternal moment and the ephemeral moment. How to see that the two are not two. They're two and yet not two. And to actually live in that place. We entangle, we engage, and we feel, and we want.

[70:04]

But not necessarily. Well, right. But most of us do. I do. Yeah, I wouldn't say most of us do. I would say we all do to some extent. Okay, right. Not necessarily, but we all do to some extent. What do you recommend for that reality? Not grasping. not grasping and not clinging to anything. Including the experience of Zazen, which we just mentioned. Don't cling to any experience in Zazen. And don't cling to any experience. Although, we use our experience, we use experience to but don't cling to something as, you know, we have to eat and we have to, we have the necessary desires, right?

[71:23]

There are a lot of necessary desires in order to be, to maintain our life. That's not called desire in the sense of not clinging. Just enough to eat, enough to sleep, enough to maintain a life, right? And in this day and age, an automobile or a bicycle, vehicles and money, we have to deal with all these things, right? And we have to deal with all these things without clinging to anything. creating a grasping for any of these things, which creates a self, which keeps perpetuating in a habitual way, which becomes out of control. It's real easy to get out of control because our habits and our conditioning continues to control our life.

[72:30]

to be able to let go of that kind of clinging and take control of your life. You know there's no self. So that you're not pushed around or pulled around by inordinate desire. So even in the midst of the self that we create, to whatever degree we create it, to not claim our grasp at anything, even in the midst of that, is practice? It's a practice of letting go. That's what it is. It's a practice of continuously letting go. But it doesn't mean to stay away from everything. But it means to be careful.

[73:34]

And in the midst of engagement, to be able to engage and at the same time be free. Find freedom within engagement. Not to be caught by anything. And pretty soon, we're caught. This fascicle is about arousing the thought of enlightenment. So again, we should arouse this thought but not be attached to the outcome? Oh, that's a good point. Once you've been aroused, the thought, you know, a stereotype called the thought of enlightenment, bodhichitta, arousing the thought of enlightenment.

[74:40]

Arousing the thought actually means engaging. It doesn't mean just thinking up something. It means engagement. That's what it really means. Oh yeah, we should definitely engage the practice without being attached to the result. Exactly. As a matter of fact, that attitude is the attitude of practice. To engage without, to do something without being attached to the result. It doesn't mean that there shouldn't be a result, or that you don't want a result.

[75:47]

It's just that you're not attached to the result. You practice for the sake of practice, and within the effort, there will be a result according to your effort that's bound to happen. There'll always be a result according to your effort. So the point is not to try and create some result, but to put in the effort and make the effort sincere. If you're working too hard for the result, that's kind of like fame and gain, right? At least it's gain. So one should not have a gaining mind, but just Just do the practice. It's totally and sincerely. And that's the practice of no-self.

[76:49]

Not creating a self. As soon as you become attached to some result, then the self arises. Barbara, did you have something you wanted to say? I noticed your hand was up. that everybody makes to try to have an understanding of what it feels like to not have mind or to not be attached to one's mind and thought. I think everybody makes an effort to do that. I know for myself I try, but there are certain things that I believe about myself that I believe so deeply that run so parallel with that I can't decipher space between that being a thought and that being myself. And those are the ones that I stumble on or that are most encumbering to me. And, you know, oftentimes I guess I'm not subtle enough, you know, to be able to see something that I feel I am so much that I'm really not, but I only feel I am because I think it.

[78:08]

It's a little abstract, but, you know, when it's various feelings and thoughts come up. Is that what you mean? But I don't know it's a thought. I really believe that. Let's say I say, well, oh, I'm stiff. And I've always told myself that. I said that, you know, and I just believe that. And then, and I believe that so much that it becomes oppositional to me in the practice. But you don't believe that about me. But because I believe that about myself, it becomes a hindrance to me. There are views that we have of what we are. And when that comes up, You should sit down and examine it. That's what Dogen says.

[79:10]

When the thought of self comes up, just sit down and look at that. Examine it. So even though you don't do that, you can start doing it. He was doing it just now. Yeah. You can do that. But I generally believe them so much I just glaze through, you know, reams of those before I get to something that I really realize is... That time is over. You're now starting a new way of thinking about it. You can do that. You don't have to be stuck in an old way. You can change. Yeah, it's after 9. Peace.

[80:32]

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