Good morning. by someone whose name is Norman Schaefer, who I don't know. Maybe you do. Barbara Llewellyn's husband handprints nice things like this. And Jerry called Rohatsu. Alan got a copy of this as well. So it's a little poem about Rohatsu Sashimi. Day and night, in the chilly hall, the little group sits cross-legged.

[01:10]

I try to forget myself, press on with the task, but a week goes by without enlightenment. Knees aching and tired of making the effort. A woman asks this morning, why am I doing this? I know better than to try to answer. When I open my mouth, it will be for lunch. So, today I'm going to put my foot in it. And explain why we sit dozen. Why we're doing this. I think we all understand what Dharma and Dharmas is, even though we probably don't.

[02:18]

So I'm going to explain something about Dharma and Dharmas and why that understanding is important in understanding why we should originally was a so-called Hinayana scholar and his brother Asanga was also a scholar but his brother Asanga became a Mahayana scholar and they were both Abhidhammas Abhidhamma means the study of the dharmas.

[03:21]

So Vasubandhu also became a Mahayana scholar, but his Abhidhamma became Mahayana Abhidhamma instead of Hinayana Abhidhamma. So Abhidhamma, we always tend to think of as kind of Theravada or... Hinayana means small, Mahayana means big, large. So Vasubandhu's Abhidhamma is much wider and is based on non-duality, of course. That's why Vasubandhu is one of our leading ancestors, Vasubandhu Dayo Cho. So Vasubandhu wrote many things, but his most famous is the 30 verses.

[04:29]

And in the 30 verses he says, Atman and, belief in Atman and dharmas, don't necessarily mean that our belief is accurate. In other words, just because we think that there is atman and dharmas doesn't mean that there really are. So in other words, he's talking about the illusory quality of atman and dharmas. So what is atman and what are dharmas? Atman means self. Dharma means those things, those constituents which form the self. So these are two aspects of what we consider to be our self. What am I?

[05:35]

I am a self. And what is it that makes myself? All the things I think, all the things that constitute this form, form dharmas, feeling dharmas, perception dharmas, thought dharmas, and consciousness dharmas. Those are the five skandhas. Form, feeling, perception, thought impulses. and consciousness. So the Heart Sutra, of course, is talking about the emptiness of skandhas and dharmas. This is what the Heart Sutra is addressing. This is Nagarjuna's philosophy or understanding. So Nagarjuna and Vasubandhu are the two complementary

[06:42]

Mahayana philosophies. So there are the dharmas which are empty, and then there is the dharma which is emptiness itself. Dharmas are what we think of as forms, and dharma is what we think of as emptiness, basically. So what we're mostly concerned with in our life is the dharmas. And when we think about our dharma and dharmas in our practice We think of dharma as, at Suzuki Roshin we call dharma big mind and dharma's small mind.

[07:54]

Those things, those dharmas which we are so concerned with in our daily life are called, without understanding, they're called delusions. That whole realm of discriminated dharmas is called the realm of delusion. It's not bad, it's just delusion, if you don't understand dharma. So dharma is all about dharmas. Dharma is the study of dharmas. Abhidharma is the dharma of dharmas. So, in the seven factors of enlightenment that we've been sort of talking about, the second one is investigation. Investigating, what that means is investigating the dharmas.

[08:58]

Trying to understand the dharmas. And they fall into various groups. Wholesome dharmas and unwholesome dharmas. The unwholesome dharmas are grouped in greed, hate and delusion. And then we have the subcategories of what constitutes greed, what constitutes ill will, what constitutes delusion. And then in the wholesome dharmas we have the categories that constitute beneficial actions for ourselves and for others and so forth. So there's kind of this division into good dharmas and bad dharmas and neutral dharmas. And Vasubandhu's categorization of Abhidhamma, of the list of dharmas, constitutes 100.

[10:08]

100 dharmas, 100 constituents that are what we call ultimately our self. So Shakyamuni in his little poem about there is no self, there's only dharmas that are continually interacting. and continual change. Simply dharma is rolling along. There is no self in the dharmas. In other words, there is no atman within the dharmas. There is just dharmas. So, the dharmas that are rolling along are called conditioned dharmas.

[11:15]

They only arise through conditions. And then there's a whole list of what the conditions are, which I won't go into. But everything arises through causes and conditions. I mean, this is basic Buddhism, right? We should understand basic Buddhism, something about it. So, all the dharmas that That's why we say all the dharmas are empty, because they're continually rolling along, and they don't last for more than that. Nothing lasts for very long. But the image lasts for a long time. It does. The image in our mind lasts for a long time. And we, through our imaginative conception, we say, well, the mountain is there, and every time we go there, the mountain is there. But it's a different mountain every time. But in our mind, it's the same mountain. And if we climb the mountain, it's the same mountain.

[12:17]

But actually, it's moving. So we conceptualize our world through our imagination in order to give order to our life. So the way we order the dharmas in our life is we are actually creating our life through the way we relate to the dharmas. The way our dharmas relate to our surroundings. So we say our life is self-creating. There's not somebody that's creating our life but except us. So this is why we can change our karma. Because since everything is changing and nothing is fixed, we can always change our karma. So, the one thing about Buddhism that is unique is that we have the ability to change our karma, to change our direction, so that instead of creating bad karma through our

[13:33]

unwholesome actions, which are dharmas, we can turn and recreate or continue to create our life through a wholesome dharmas or through neutral dharmas. So we have good and bad dharmas. But there are also dharmas which are unconditioned. Not created through conditions. And one of them is called space. But it's not the space of the sky. It's simply space, which is not filled with something, which actually allows everything to change. Otherwise, everything would be solid. This space, for lack of a better word, don't take it literally, but for lack of a better word, is what Sudhikari Rishi would call big mind.

[14:55]

He said everything exists within our big mind. Big mind actually is expressed through small mind. In other words, Enlightenment is expressed through the dharmas, through our actions. So you can say that big mind is enlightenment. Empty space is enlightenment. And activity within delusion is that Discriminating activity through a small mind is called delusion. But enlightenment and delusion are just the two sides of one thing.

[15:59]

But they're not two sides. We call them two sides because we're talking about them as if they're two things. For purposes of explanation, we say two sides. So, mostly in our life, we're aware of discriminating activity. We're born into the world of discriminating activity, which is necessary in order to move and relate and sustain our life. But what we're not so conscious of is Big Mind, which is the source of our activity. So we say enlightenment is already there, but we're not aware of it because of our discriminating activity, which is so outpervading that it covers our big mind.

[17:13]

So, instead of saying, get enlightened, it's better to say, reveal enlightenment. So, why do we sit in zazen? When we sit in zazen, we resume Big Mind. We come back to, or free from discriminating mind. So even though big mind and small mind are not two things, we say form is emptiness and emptiness is form. Big mind is small mind, small mind is big mind. But form is form and emptiness is emptiness. So it's like two sides of the moon.

[18:19]

When we look at the moon, we see the bright side, but the dark side also is there, hidden. So, when we're in activity, one side is revealed, but the other side is hidden. And then when we sit in zazen, one side is revealed and the other side is hidden. So when we sit in zazen, we let go of the discriminating mind and just allow non-discriminating mind or whole mind to reveal itself. That's all we have to do. If we try to do something else, then we cloud our pure mind. So we sit in zazen for the sake of zazen. not to gain something, because if you gain something, you cloud your mind.

[19:26]

Anything that enters in, clouds the mind. So rather than trying to get something, in Tsanzin, we let go of everything. Which doesn't mean that there are no thoughts. When we say, stop the movement of the conscious mind, It doesn't mean that you stop all your thoughts. You simply pay attention to everything. Because as soon as you want to stop something, then you're bringing up a discriminating mind. So to stop the activity of the discriminating mind We just let everything come and go. This is called equanimity. Whatever comes is reflected in the mirror of our mind.

[20:34]

So, Zazen is the mirror mind. It's when our thought process still and everything is reflected just as it is. And then our ego sees everything equally. Pain, pleasure, all the same. We don't discriminate by wanting something. So Shakyamuni says, The reason for our suffering is our discriminating mind, which wants something. So we cease the activity of the discriminating mind, which wants something, either wants something or wants to get rid of something.

[21:44]

So to be comfortable is just to let everything come and go. And that takes continuous practice forever. At the same time, we need to discriminate. Discrimination is not bad. Discrimination is necessary. But discrimination on the basis of ego, I want, I want, is not necessary. Ordinary discrimination is necessary. We have to be able to tell one thing from another. And when we're hungry, we eat. When we're tired, we sleep. That's proper discrimination. Improper discrimination is, I want, I want, I want. I need, I need, I need. over discrimination, it doesn't mean to let go of what you need, it means to let go of what you don't need.

[23:07]

And then our activity becomes compassionate and helpful and non-negative. So, when we investigate dharmas in zazen, you know, the mind is always working all the time. Is always what? Working. Working and producing thoughts, feelings, emotions and so forth but you know when we're sitting Zazen really comfortably comfortably means letting everything come and go without attaching to anything then we can sit comfortably pain is just a sensation or a feeling

[24:29]

but it's not necessarily suffering until we attach to it. Sometimes we have a wonderful feeling which we call, maybe this is it, light. We grab onto it and as soon as we hold onto it, of course, it turns into its opposite. Unfortunately, attaching to pain doesn't turn into its opposite. actually be pleasant. There's something wonderful about being right in the middle on that wire. You don't fall into the side of pleasure, you don't fall into the side of pain or displeasure, but the pain and whatever feeling there is And as soon as we don't like it or don't want it, then it becomes uncomfortable.

[25:46]

So, our intention is very important. Our intention to simply sit and experience whatever is there. and perception dharmas, which are kind of seeing in a certain way, and understanding things in a certain way, and of course the mind dharmas are continually bubbling up, which I talked about the other day, a thought bubble, you know, a dream bubble.

[26:55]

Dream bubbles and thought bubbles continually appearing. And we just let them appear. Every thought bubble or feeling bubble just appears. It's reflected in the mirror of our mind. But we don't chase it after, even if it's a good thing. Even if it's a wonderful insight. At the same time, Bad thoughts will come up. All kinds of thoughts will come up. This is called the scenery of our life. It's like we're in a train passing through watching the scenery of our life. Emptiness is emptiness.

[28:04]

Emptiness is emptiness. The other side of the moon is covered in the shadow. So we don't hanker after anything or discriminate between anything. Then when we get off the cushion and go outside do our activity, the moon is turned around. And it's just activity, just discriminating activity. But, because we have this experience of emptiness is emptiness, our activity can, if we're aware, even if we're not aware, we become more compassionate more understanding. Our level of perception is different because our activity can be enlightened activity because we know both sides of the moon.

[29:23]

Did you have your hand up? We've been looking at the factors of enlightenment and looking at mindfulness and investigating the dharmas and today you were describing the dharmas and their impermanence as they color and flavor things, as they create the scenery. The question is, as they are arising in zazen, moment by moment, do we see them, is there any kind of attention or awareness of them as dharmas? In other words, does the mind come together for a moment as one way that one can practice, or just allowing them without any naming or identification?

[30:31]

Just allowing them, because when we name something, we give it a form. Naming engenders form. So there are people who say, oh, this is anger, this is whatever. But we don't do that. I think that it's OK, but it helps just maybe to bring your attention to awareness of the dharmas, but I don't think we need to do that. Just let everything come and go, rather than... You recognize the form. I don't think you need to name it. If you want to name it, just say, mind bubble.

[31:37]

But I just want to say one thing, because this is incomplete. Emptiness and form. Dharma and dharmas. There is something that encompasses both of those, which is beyond our vijnana, beyond that, which is beyond our experience. And how do we know it if it's beyond our experience? So it's like our intuition knows something that's beyond our experience, which encompasses both enlightenment and delusion. you can't really talk about.

[32:49]

Somebody else besides Mary, yeah. As I understand that the past and the kind of meditation, I'm wondering if the difference is not just a matter of words describing something. In other words, say there's a feeling of anger about something. In order to talk to somebody about, well, what do you do in that situation? You might say, well, just recognize that there's a feeling of anger going through, rather than, you know, getting a head shoot or something. So when you say that, then you can imagine that a person first starting out might actually think those words Oh, there's a feeling of anger and then there's a feeling of joy.

[34:02]

That's just a description trying to convey to you what you do. What you actually do might be not in words. You're just noticing that there is, oh, this angry feeling or something. That's right, because a description takes the place of the thing. And that's what we're doing all the time. We're actually, through our discriminating activity, we're actually replacing the thing with the description. And that's exactly what Suzuki Roshi talked about all the time. We replace the thing, and all of the Mahayana teachers, we replace the actuality by removing ourself and describing it. And as soon as we describe it, it's no longer it. So our activity is to stop describing and simply experience.

[35:03]

Simply be it, actually. So when a thought arises, that becomes the subject of our attention. We don't dismiss it or something like that. It's there. But we experience it as a feeling or as a thought. And then we let it go. So everything is acknowledged. Not dismissed. Acknowledged. And then we say goodbye. Goodbye. There you are. Goodbye. Because my promise to myself is to sit for 40 minutes, watching, taking care of my posture and breathing. That's my promise to myself. When you think of it as an intrusion, that creates more of a problem.

[36:04]

Thoughts are not an intrusion. Feelings are not an intrusion. Nothing is an intrusion because there's nobody there to be intruded upon. What did you say? What actor is saying nobody's there? You said? To be intruded upon. Ah, thank you. Yeah, there are no intrusions. Things are just passing through. And there's no Nobody to be intruded upon. There's nobody to be angry. There's nobody to be upset. There's nobody to be nervous. There's nobody to be anxious. There's nobody to be hungry. Before you said that Suzuki Roshi said that Buddhism is unique. change our karma, which means choosing the wholesome dharmas over the unwholesome ones.

[37:08]

And I've thought about every religion, except maybe Calvinism said something similar. That we can make choices, choose actions and attitudes that are wholesome. But that's true. Probably they don't talk about karma. How is karma different than, say, Original sin or? Original, very different than original sin. That's right. So actually, the way we think about karma is a little different. Although basically that's the same.

[38:11]

Mary had her hand up. I'm here in the dark in the corner. I know it's impossible to talk about, but That's not impossible to talk about. You said there's something that encompasses it all. Is that fair? That's fair. Okay. Well, when I hear you talk like that, I get really uncomfortable because it sounds like you're talking about a lot of people, sort of liberal Christians or something, their idea of God. And I'm uncomfortable with the use of the word thing at all. And as I say, I don't know how you talk about it. So I don't know. But I just want to invite you to talk about it, or is, or thus, or whatever. Talk about it some more, if you would. Well, basically, I'm a big mind. But if we stop there, then that means that

[39:24]

Because when we talk about big mind and small mind, that's according to our understanding, but we have to understand that it's bigger than that. Could you talk about it as a process? Or is-ness? Or is-thing? Or something like that? Yeah, it. That's right. There's it, which is not nameable, in Dharmakaya, basically. Dharmakaya is ungraspable, undefinable, unnameable. We just say Dharmakaya because it's the Dharma realm. So, if we don't get beyond definition,

[40:33]

And then we get stuck in our defining mind. So we have to get beyond definition. There's something beyond definition. And definition is a way of talking about something that we can understand. But we have to understand that there is more than we can understand. That's true understanding. So it's dharmakaya. our true nature. But our true nature is more than we can understand, but we talk about it in ways that we can understand it, even though it's beyond the way we talk about it that can understand it. And we don't know what that is, but we know that that is, because it is it. My question related to Mary's and you've answered part of it.

[41:43]

I was thinking beyond the words, it's it's the look in the eyes. It's the flower is not labeled. It's just. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So is that right? Beyond labeling. Right. That's true. So as soon as we start to define it. Yeah, I wonder if one of these mirrors that are getting out is certainly something that I kind of get a little stuck on is that when we talk like that, there's a tendency to kind of reify, even if we can't explain it. There's something else there that's an it that's beyond, say, our grasp. But there's this kind of subtle, maybe not so subtle, reification of it.

[42:45]

Meaning what? It's just like they said, a thing. Oh, I see. We can't describe it. We can't give labels to this and that. But there's this other thing. Well, it's not another thing. It encompasses all the others. Well, yeah, it's not another thing. There's no other. That's what he's saying. There's no thing. There's no thing, yeah. So, yeah. Leaving metaphysical speculation, I'm going to have to go back to the practical. When I'm sitting, sometimes it will just automatically happen. Yeah, there's a nice integration between awareness of breathing and things coming and going. And then other times, just all of that and off.

[43:47]

and it's kind of... things calm and get stuck and then I think I should be stuck on these things trying to get my attention on my breath and it kind of skips back and forth and also I'm not sure how hard I should try to concentrate on my breath so those are my questions. Right. So, it's really difficult to do Shikantaza if you think that you always have to be concentrated constantly So it's not a concentration practice in that sense. And some people mistake it for a concentration practice. Like Yasutadi Roshi, when he described Shikantaza, he said, Shikantaza is like such a strong concentration that you can only do it for about 20 minutes and you break out in a You know, Zazen is a lot like your life.

[44:53]

Sometimes you're there and sometimes you're not. So, you know, it's not... even though we talk about the two sides, both sides are there. And concentration waxes and wanes. Sometimes it's one-pointed and sometimes it's big. When it's big, When you're concentrating very wide and you're not trying to pinpoint it on some particular object, this is big mind. It's your big mind which is not focusing on something special, but whatever the dust, you just watch the dust, you know, floating back and forth. It's just, whatever is there, you just see totally. As it is.

[45:56]

Without naming it, it's really bad. Just to see it, when the airplane goes by, you don't say, oh that's an airplane. It's just a sound. Just a sound. So we go in and out of concentration. when the mind starts wandering, and then, oh yeah, come back. Don't push anything away because that's rejection. Don't hold on to anything because that's possession. So sometimes you think, gee, that's not so good, my mind's wandering, and so forth. But it's just all part of that big mind. Not some special state of mind. mind, we're not matching it. But it's not a special state.

[46:57]

It's whatever is there. So, sleepy? Sleepy Buddha. Unconcentrated? Unconcentrated Buddha. That's all. No judgment. As soon as you start making a judgment, then you're in the realm of delusion. No judgment. So you can't judge how zazen is. You just do it. And whatever is there, is what's there. No judgments. Right? Dean, whatever your name is. So when we talk about it, it becomes something different than what it is. So when it sort of happens and at some point you sort of, there's a sensation or there's a realization that that it has happened, does, when you have that realization, and you haven't talked about it, but is it something different then?

[48:02]

And if it is something different, how come that sense of peace or acceptance or whatever, that continues? Is it something different then? Different from what? Well, you know, when we describe it, like there's the red flower. When I say it's a red flower, I put my notion of it being a red flower on it, so it's become something different. It hasn't become something different. Right. I've made it subjective. You made it subjective. So, in that moment when it's just a flower, and I realized, okay, well I just did it, didn't I? I just named it a flower. In the moment from having that, I don't know, sensation, for lack of a better word, to during that acceptance or whatever that, whatever it is, when I feel that in my body, and I haven't named it that, and I just have that pleasure from it, is it something different because I realize?

[49:10]

Well, there's a direct experience and the indirect experience. Direct experience is The indirect experience is that it's a red flower. That's substituting your experience for it. It's substituting, it's stepping back from pure vision. Pure vision, just to use things. It's okay to say this is a flower, right? That's not wrong or bad. But it becomes something. It replaces the direct experience with a sign. Signpost. I've been reading about this commentary on the Platform Sutra. That's got a lot of that in it, doesn't it? That kind of talking about that stuff? Probably. I think so. Go.

[50:14]

I just have a lot of things to say about it. One thing is, I didn't really like that poem. Well, I guess I didn't like it because I'm not discriminating in a weird way, of course. Because it reinforces this idea that maybe we take refuge in. But, you know, to me it's like a very, well, yeah, just to be open to, you know, Zazen can be a really wonderful experience. It can be anything. I think that's what they're saying. OK, then I like it. I feel like it's, you know, for myself, I'm shedding. shedding ideas I have of what Zazen is.

[51:19]

And we're always hit. When we use words, and we're a bunch of worried people, by the way, it's like a constant shedding of, oh, this is what I thought this was all about. Yeah. I think, you know, the main thing is There's nothing wrong with our discriminating mind. That's not a bad thing. But when we're doing Zazen, we let it go. In our usual activity, we like to collect things and collect information and work for some kind of result.

[52:27]

But in Satsang, we don't work for a result. We don't try to get some result. We just be here and have a direct experience. When we're just present without discriminating mind, it just allows our... that's called resuming our true nature. And then we are expressing like a flower. What's a flower doing? It's expressing its nature. We express our nature in various ways, of course. But in Zazen, we express our nature without anything Without any idea about it. We just let actually nature express itself. Because there's no one sitting on it. Resume our Buddha nature.

[53:29]

Resume our true nature. It's pretty dramatic when you do sashimi. that you're taking a real vacation from regular life. Yeah, called taking a rest. And so what I hear you saying, in some ways, if you can bring that same consciousness to coming in and doing 40 minutes of Zazen... Oh yes. But Zazen, but Sachine, you know, kind of wears away, because of the constancy of it, it wears away. It's hard to consciously let go. But doing this over and over, you have all these problems, and things just drop away by themselves.

[54:34]

So that's kind of the advantage of Sajin. After the fourth day, Do you have your hand up? I had my hand up before. Not you. I mean, there's another Mary. I do have my hand up, but not just that hand. I think this is a bonus question. It's probably been asked and answered. Why is it so strenuous? Why do we? Why do we? I think you just answered it. Why do we have to sit? If the mind is all there is? Well, body is mind. Why doesn't it shine through more easily?

[55:39]

There's no difference. Body and mind is one thing. So, body, mind, breath, universe. One thing. One piece. That's Zazen. So there's no chopping things into pieces. That's discrimination. Discrimination is chopping everything into pieces, or distinguishing one thing from another. In Zazen, we don't distinguish any body from mind, from breath, from universe. allowing the one piece to be there, rather than chopping it up. And when you say strenuous? Yeah. Ah, well it shouldn't be a strain. When you begin to practice, you do stretch yourself to the limit.

[56:41]

Because zazen means your whole total body and mind, your whole body and mind in total dynamic activity. This is the most dynamic activity if you really do Zazen. You're totally present. That's why posture is so important. You're presenting yourself to the universe as totally, total presentation of yourself to the universe. And so, why do this? It's totally dynamic activity. Zenki. total dynamic activity, then you understand what Zazen is. If it's just this, you don't get it. That's why I always emphasize posture. Sitting up straight, not leaning to the right or the left. If you lean to the right or the left, that's eccentric.

[57:50]

So Zazen is to be Centric. And this is eccentric. This is eccentric. So you try to become as centric as possible. Centric. And balanced. And then, it looks like there's no activity, but actually it's the total dynamic activity of one act. Like a spinning top. it's in total dynamic activity. And if you hit it, it goes scooting across the floor because of all that potential energy. So if it doesn't, you should be filled with energy. If you get tired, there is tiredness of course which goes with it, but even within that tiredness, So I just want to make one more comment and that is that leaning toward the side, you know, as Zazen is both letting everything come and go and at the same time sitting upright.

[59:37]

So if you, and to always maintain that balance, if you're always maintaining that balance, you don't get tired. But if you err on the... if you lean on one side more than the other, then you get tired, or you wonder, why am I doing this? When you are totally like that spinning top, the question, why am I doing this, doesn't come up.

[60:14]

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