Good morning. Well, today is the opening of our practice period, and after my talk, we will have the shuzo entering ceremony. And as you probably know, our shuso for the practice period is Jerry Oliva, whose Dharma name I can't quite remember. Pure Spring Nourishing Heart. Yes, Pure Spring Nourishing Heart, that's a good name, nice name. As you know, Jerry is a doctor, has been for a long time. And I've been practicing for a good number of years. And if you want to, there's an old saying, if you want to get something done, ask a busy person.

[01:02]

as well as leading or being the head of medical projects of various kinds, which has always been a mystery to me, but I know they exist. She's managed to raise a family, have a family, two dogs, and practice Dazen in a very regular manner, sitting sessions all over the place. I don't know how she does it, but, and she's always present and manages to really practice through her difficulties. So for me, I asked her to be shuso mainly because of her exemplary practice over a long period of time.

[02:20]

So today I want to kind of set a tone for our practice period in Zazen. I want to talk about posture, breathing, and thinking, not thinking. So I would like us to be aware, especially today in our practice, of paying attention to our posture. There are two aspects of posture. Of course, you've heard all this before, but we often need reminding. There are two aspects of posture. One is effort, and the other is ease.

[03:24]

In effort, we really make an effort an effort to sit up straight and maintain the form of practice. The form of practice, the way we hold our body, should feel natural. But natural means different things to different people. So what I mean by natural is the posture which is not determined by our past actions, which means we let go of all those inhibitions

[04:30]

which determine our various postures and simply sit up without anything holding us down. You know, we tend to carry anger and ill will in our upper back, in our shoulders. And we tend to carry fear and anxiety in our chest. So there are different parts of our body which are inhabited by our emotions and feelings as well as our thoughts. That's called conditioning. So, in our posture, we make the effort to let go of our conditioning, those conditions which ordinarily form, inform or inhabit our posture, and giving us tensions in various parts of our body.

[05:47]

So we may have tensions in our back, tensions in our neck, tensions in our arms and fingers and hands, and legs all over. We hold these tensions in our body. So in Zazen, we hold what looks like, often what looks like an extreme posture is actually a natural uninhibited posture. or uninhabited posture. So by holding the framework of posture in what we call a correct way, allows the energy of our body to lift us up without really much effort.

[06:53]

So this is effort and by letting go of all those conditioned reflexes we actually relax. So effort holding us up and letting go, freeing us from our conditioned postures is actually a matter of balance. So when we sit and hold our mudra in the right way and push our lower back forward, keeping our head on top of our spine. If we hold our head forward, it puts a tenseness on our spine and on our back.

[08:00]

This big rock here weighs quite a bit. So keeping it on top of the spine is important. Then all the energy goes straight down instead of this way or that way. So this is really important. This is what we should be concentrating on all the time in Zazen. This is one reason why we keep bringing our attention back when it starts to wander, because this is what we're actually doing. Lift up the sternum a little bit. And when you lift up the sternum, you can feel it in your lower back. And then letting go of tenseness. We may feel tenseness in your upper body. You may feel tenseness in your upper back or your shoulders.

[09:02]

And just feel that tenseness disappearing. This is called a mental massage. I call it that. You simply let go of all that tenseness. How do you let go of the tenseness? By not feeding it. Somehow, it's something I can't explain, but, you know, feel loose. You feel loose, your body should feel loose. Your elbows should feel loose. fingers, hands, everything feel really loose. And then when you put it all together, it's still loose. There's no tenseness in it at all. No tenseness at all. So this is what we should try to accomplish when we're sitting posture without any tenseness, but yet the form is very strict.

[10:12]

and very, I don't want to say exactly correct, but I will. It's a framework. The body is the framework. And the body is the framework. And where is the self? So actually, this posture is a koan. three koans in zazen. One is posture, the second one is breathing, third one is thought. So within this structure, where there's no tenseness and perfect balance, where's the self? Next one is breathing.

[11:15]

Our breath, we should make an effort to breathe what feels like our lower abdomen. Of course, it's our lungs where the breath is, but we feel it in our lower abdomen as it arises and falls. Inhaling, the abdomen rises, expands, and exhaling, it contracts. when we find ourself breathing in our chest, which is usually caused by fear or anxiety, we should make an effort to get the breath down so that we always know where our breath is, whatever we're doing, whether it's in sitting or moving or any activity, we should be aware of that. I don't want to say we should, but I will. We should pay attention to the breathing in our lower abdomen.

[12:24]

And sometimes in Zazen, we get, kind of get, our breath kind of comes up and we don't, it's hard to get it back down. When you begin to zazen, it's good to, we always say do this. This opens your abdomen and that pushes it together. So it's like a bellows. This part right here is a bellows. So, You can take a few deep breaths like that, open your mouth if you want to, and then push all the air out. And that's like, that primes your pump, primes your breathing here. And then simply return to breathing naturally, normally through your nose.

[13:30]

So you can always do that in order to get people to say, well, how am I, I can't get my breath down. But that's how you do it. I mean, that's one way to do it. Take a deep breath and open up. So it should feel like this is where the breath is, not up here. And when you find you're breathing up here, then let your breath come down. And then we say, let your mind follow your breath. So this is not so easy, sounds easy, but to simply let your mind, your attention follow the breathing so that breathing out is a long breath, breathing in is more of a short breath. To Ziccaro, she says, breathing out is more important than breathing in.

[14:42]

Of course, we know that breathing in is like inspiration, which means coming to life. And breathing out is expiration, which means letting go. So often, we're mostly concerned about coming to life and holding on. But actually, in order to maintain our life, we have to let go of it. So, moment by moment, we're letting go and coming back, letting go, coming back. Suzuki Goshi talked of it like a swinging door. There's just, breathing is just like a swinging door. In, out, in, out. But there's no one there.

[15:44]

Just the swinging door of breathing. This is how we pay attention to our breath. So this is the koan of breathing. Who's breathing? Breathing just happens. We can control it in some way to a certain extent, but modification, but we don't try to control breathing. Just follow the breath. Follow our breathing. First is posture. First, always establish posture first. Then allow our mind to follow the breathing. And so, in Zazen, we're always returning to posture, returning to breath, over and over and over again.

[16:51]

One way of... Take... paying attention to breath is when the breath is totally gone to count to two, and then start inhaling. So, one, two, and then inhale, so that you know that you're at the bottom of the breath, and then the cycle starts again. Um... So we're constantly letting go and coming back, letting go and coming back.

[18:12]

So this is the rhythm, and to allow that rhythm, whatever it is, to be present. Then there is how we think in Zazen. Dogen uses the koan of think not thinking. A monk asked Nyaksan, what should I think about in Zazen? And you said. You should think not thinking. And amongst it, what is non thinking, not thinking?

[19:20]

Inuation said non thinking. So. Thinking. And not thinking. And non thinking. and unthinking. These are four different terms. When we're sitting zazen, the mind is always conceptualizing. Your mind is continually conceptualizing. In most meditation manuals, what people try to do is stop their thoughts so that they have a quiet, clear mind. But this is not zazen. And Dogen was very critical of this kind of thinking.

[20:25]

To stop your thoughts so that you have a clear, peaceful, quiet mind is dualistic. it sets up a preference between the absolute mind and the relative mind. So for Dogen, it's very important that we don't create a schism between, even though there is a distinction, we don't create a schism between quiet mind and differentiating mind. So think, not thinking. Think, not thinking. Sometimes there are thoughts, sometimes there are not thoughts.

[21:26]

Who's thinking? This is kind of a koan. Who is thinking? The who is thinking. The how is thinking. The what is thinking. What is thinking? Yes. How is thinking? Yes. Who is thinking? That's right. So non-thinking means not discriminating between thinking and not thinking. This is non-discriminating mind. Discriminating mind makes a distinction between thinking and not thinking. So, think the thought of not thinking.

[22:40]

In other words, my understanding is that the thought, when you are really concentrated on what you're doing, paying attention to what you're doing, you think the thought of zazen. You think the thought of breathing. When you think the thought of sitting, then sitting and the thought are one. There's no distinction. So there's no thinking outside of the activity, and there's no activity outside of the thinking. So thinking, you're not thinking about something. If you're thinking about something, then that thing that you're thinking about becomes an object. So in order to eliminate subject and object, there's only one thing.

[23:41]

You can call it thinking or you can call it acting. Acting includes the thought, the thought includes the act. So they're not two things. But what happens is that We do that, and then we forget that, and then we do it, and then we think, so it comes together and goes apart, comes together, goes apart. This is the activity of zazen. So we're coming together and we're coming apart. We're coming together. Our mind and body breathing do this. So we keep returning all the time. So the mind starts wandering and thinking about something, thinking about something outside of the activity. So this is imaginative thinking, which is separate from the activity.

[24:44]

So we keep returning, come on back, come on back, come on back, over and over and over again, a thousand, 10,000 times. This is the activity of Zazen. to keep re-minding, it's called, sometimes called, well, it's called re-minding. Recollection, the practice of recollection. Oh yeah, that's it. So, But the wandering is also Zazen. If you realize this is wandering and you return, the wandering is also Zazen. So we don't make a critical assessment of the wandering.

[25:49]

The wandering is just wandering Zazen. The pain is just painful Zazen. The confusion is just confusion, Zazen. The urge to get up and run away is just the urge to get up and run away, Zazen. As long as you're making the effort, it's Zazen. When we're no longer making the effort, then It's very weak, Zazen. So, think not thinking. This is the koan of thought in Zazen. How do we think not thinking? Non-thinking.

[26:52]

So, this is without judgment. Everything is included in Zazen, sleepy Zazen, wakeful Zazen. But we make the effort to do the best that we can. And the Zazen, the essence of the Zazen is in the effort. And when everything is balanced, it's effortless effort. But it's still effort. but it's very refined, very refined effort. But if you haven't reached the refined effort, you make the clumsy effort, which is great, no problem. But that's where the essence is, is in making the effort, making the effort to be awake,

[28:00]

And to do your best, not to be complacent or think, well, now I'm resting. Zazen, just taking a break. There is rest in Zazen. It's like whenever we're working, we have our work and then we rest. The secret of working is to rest within your work. It's exactly the same, to find the ease within your work. And even if you're a very busy person, you work, but there's some ease within that work that keeps you from becoming exhausted. if you're paying attention to your breath, paying attention to how your body balances itself, and how your mind allows for coming back to your breathing.

[29:17]

If we keep always aware of our breathing, then we can find the ease in our activity. So zazen is exactly the same as your everyday life. in your everyday life is exactly the same as zazen. When there's no difference except for the kind of activity, then you have a very nice practice. So if you have any questions, Please ask. Ron? Well, you mentioned that the dualistic attitude, and you mentioned that we can use the word schism, when we try to cut off thinking from arising, but the effort to not get carried once thinking arises

[30:33]

not to get riding along on that train and just continuing with it, that effort to come back, that's also, why wouldn't that be realistic, or why wouldn't that also be a skill? Well, because our intention is to stay with our posture and breathing. In other words, your wandering is not part of your intention. So supposing you're going home with the groceries, and then you think, gee, that's an interesting street over there. And you start wandering down the street, and then your wife is saying, where's Ron? It's nightfall. It's just that you come back to your intention. But you don't make an effort to do that.

[31:39]

You simply let go. This is very important. You're not fighting yourself to leave what you're thinking about. You simply, oh, thought's in, come back. That's all. And coming back is only about that long. You simply let go. In other words, I'm thinking about all these wonderful things and suddenly, oh yeah, and then I'm sitting Zazen, that's all. It's like the bubble, boom, burst. It's just a bubble. These ideas that lead us in these various pathways are just bubbles. There you are sitting. It's a wonderful story by, what's his name?

[32:44]

Yeah, Hesa. In the back of Magha Shaludi, there's this story about this Indian guru. He was an Indian sadhu, and he was sitting there, and this guy, this man comes, and he sits in front of the sadhu, and he tells the sadhu about all these wonderful things he would like to be doing, and about his life, and he was discussing with his wife. So he has this idea about what he wants to do and suddenly he's doing all these things and he gets wealthy and he marries this wonderful woman and he has a family. Suddenly all these tragic things happen to him in his life. He's about to die or something like that and he wakes up. And suddenly there he is, sitting in front of the sadhu.

[33:59]

He's gone through this whole thing, but it's simply his dream. So, the thing about zazen is you wake up. It's called waking up, staying awake. That's it. Staying awake and not getting caught in the dream, even though this is a dream too, right? The dream within the dream, as Dogen says. You mentioned four kinds of thinking. Thinking, not thinking, non-thinking, and unthinking. Can you say something about the last one? Unthinking is a term that's used as the opposite of thinking. So thinking, non-thinking, thinking and not thinking. And unthinking, I think, is a term that's used so that it's in juxtaposition to thinking and not thinking.

[35:14]

So I think it means no thought, basically. Like detaching yourself from thinking would be unthinking. So there's really no thought. the absence of thought. So thinking and not thinking. Thinking, non-thinking, and unthinking. Thinking, not thinking, unthinking. Anyway, I think that unthinking means detaching from thought. That would be when there's just nothing going on in the mind. The unthought. Like the un-cow. Logically thinking, when you think of existence and non-existence, sophistically, you can talk about a not-cow.

[36:19]

That's the way the Indian mind used to work, philosophically. But it's just a sophistry, it's not a thing. Because there is no such thing as a non-thing. It's just, but it completes, it completes the thought. Ma'am? I struggle the night before every machine. I cannot sleep. Yes. What can I try to do? I am unable to sleep. Is that my nagging mind, or is that? It's your anxiety. That's all. That's your anxiety. People ask me, well, how shall I prepare for Sashin? And if someone asks me that, I say, just don't give it another thought. Don't think about it at all. That's the best preparation. So when you step into the Zendo, that's all.

[37:23]

Nothing's happened yet, right? So when nothing's happened yet, What is there to think about? And the only way that we can actually continue to sit thousand after thousand is to not think ahead. As long as you're thinking ahead, you're making it more difficult. So it's one moment at a time, just this moment, and then this moment. If I think, oh my God, there are 59 more moments, you know, I'm defeating myself. I'm just putting all these 59 stumbling blocks in front of me. I have been dying to make this joke ever since I started practicing here. talk about the question is in the who, the question is what, the Abbot and Costello routine.

[38:26]

It always reminds me of that and I always have to chuckle, you know, who's on first? It just cracks me up every time. But I wanted to ask you a question about that. Which is, you know, the understanding that I'm getting from you is that The self isn't separate from the activity. The self isn't separate from the question. That's right. Yes. So who is on first? Yes, that's exactly right. That's right. That's how the self... Don't you ever have the experience of you're wandering in Sasen and then you realize that you're wandering and you go, how did that happen that I realized that I'm wandering? Where does that come from? Well, it comes from the fact that you think you know what you're doing.

[39:31]

But the interesting thing is that we say, I'm not gonna think any thoughts, and then as soon as you say that, you're in your bubble. The bubble is right there, it's carrying you off. So we can't help doing this. So the thing is that discriminating mind and non-discriminating mind are really two aspects of the same thing. And we shouldn't make a problem out of that. We live and have all of our activity within discrimination. So we don't criticize discrimination except where discrimination forgets that the essence is non-discrimination. So when we forget non-discrimination, then we get caught in discrimination.

[40:45]

So the problem is, how do we not get caught by our discriminating mind, even though that's where we live? That's our koan, that's all the koans. Ko and an, one minute. Ko, koan means there's various things. but there is a meaning which is ko means even or horizontal and calm and quiet. It's like the absolute. And an means discrimination or comparative values and so forth. And so ko-an has these two aspects, but they're really two aspects of the same thing. And the line is not a real line, but it's form is emptiness, emptiness is form.

[41:48]

That's why we chant this sutra every day. Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. It's not like there's an emptiness and a form. They're the same thing. And we have to find the emptiness in the form and the form in the emptiness. And that's, it's more than balance. It's oneness of duality, duality and oneness. So that's what we're practicing. I mean, among other things. Anyway, it's 11 o'clock, and we shouldn't be late for our next ceremony.

[42:31]

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