Good morning. there's an expression in our literature that says or states the 16-foot golden body of Buddha, and when I began practice I thought of this sort of image of this sculpture or statue out there

[01:03]

and it still comes up for me as a model of practice. And the encouragement in the literature and in our zazen is that the 16-foot golden body of Buddha is no other than ourself. So what I wanted to talk about today was that 16-foot golden Buddha body. that we all have in each and every one of us, and that we have all the tools we could possibly need in order to realize that. And we don't have to go anywhere to get it. Case 37 in the Mumonkan. The Case. A monk asked Joshu in all earnestness, what is the meaning of the patriarchs coming from the West?

[02:13]

Joshu said, the oak tree in the front of the garden. Mumon's Commentary. If you see through Joshu's response clearly, there is no Shakyamuni in the past and no Maitreya in the future. Well, what is the meaning of the patriarchs coming from the West? What that is saying or what the monk is asking is what is the truth of the Buddhadharma? And the truth of the Buddhadharma is that there is no abiding self, things constantly change, and there is dukkha or discomfort or dis-ease. And the oak tree in the garden is not this objective thing out there, it's not just this tree, it was Joshu's opportunity to encourage the monk to look at himself, to look inward.

[03:24]

The oak tree was there and it was just a point in time where the monk was looking out there for this 16-foot golden Buddha body. or this great teaching of Shakyamuni Buddha. And actually it was inside of him all that time. So there's no Shakyamuni in the past and no Maitreya or future Buddha in the future. All we have is right now. And what we teach here at BCC is upright sitting and uprightedness as a physical manifestation of the 16-foot golden Buddha body and also as a metaphor for our life and to be upright in all of our relationships with people and with things.

[04:27]

So we practice here this upright sitting and we get little glimpses of how that upright sitting informs us in our life as we meet each thing moment by moment. Some months ago, a friend of mine invited me to join a group of meditators to lead a day of mindfulness at the We the People building in downtown Oakland. He wanted to have a group of people come and sit from different traditions and talk about Buddhism and to do kin-hin or walking meditation out in the streets of Oakland in Jack London Square and to take the practice out in the world. So I went along and it was an all-day sitting.

[05:30]

We had the Saturday program here, then I went down in the afternoon and gave a little Zazen instruction, then we went walking around Jack London Square. Well after a while I started thinking, I don't really want to be here and I also want to help my friend and so I was basically a divided self. I was separate from what was happening as we were walking along and I was kind of looking around. And I didn't feel so good about that but it was a true feeling that arose. And I looked up and I saw this restaurant sign and it said the Oak Tree or it was called the Oak Tree Grill. And when I saw the oak tree grill sign I remembered this koan and it was an opportunity to come back to my innermost intention and it kind of sort of swept away a lot of my befuddlement and discouragement.

[06:39]

I felt very fortunate to have looked up at that time to see the grill sign. And so a little later on, in this 20 minute or so kinhin that we were doing, people started picking up garbage. And at first I had some resistance, like I don't, I kind of like things neat and clean, I don't like to get too dirty. And I think, well, let me, you know, I'm, I'm supposed to be modeling our practice. I'm taking our practice out in the world and I've given a talk to these people so I should be kind of in keeping with what's going on as a theme here. So I started picking up trash and somewhat reluctantly then it was okay when I got out of the way and just was picking up little, you know, pieces of paper and, I mean, things that were super disgusting I didn't, I didn't do that. So after a while I was holding this garbage and of course I wanted to get rid of it. I didn't want to hold it anymore. And so one of these urban tumbleweeds started blowing by, you know, one of these little plastic shopping bags that you see in the streets and it's spinning around.

[07:48]

So I said, oh, here's my opportunity. So I picked up the tumbleweed and I put the garbage in there and on the bag it said, thank you. I thought about this a long time ago now and I've thought about these two experiences and as they were sort of touchstones for my practice as I get out from or I get in the way of myself or the 16-foot golden Buddha body that the universe really provides if we are patient enough and can just let it be and let it do that. It's easy to get discouraged in our practice, and if we look close enough and long enough, we can remember little points where we actually get encouragement and inspiration and to try to come back to that. I wanted to talk a little bit about our sitting posture.

[08:49]

Recently, the five days of Shi, Mel talked quite a lot about upright sitting and keeping one's head on top of their spine. And from Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, Suzuki Roshi says in the first chapter on posture, You should not be tilted sideways, backwards, or forwards. You should be sitting straight up as if you were supporting the sky with your head. This is not just a form or breathing. It expresses a key point of Buddhism. It is a perfect expression of your Buddha nature. If you want true understanding of Buddhism, you should practice this way. These forms are not a means of obtaining the right state of mind. You take this posture itself, To take this posture itself is the purpose of our practice. When you have this posture, you have the right state of mind, so there is no need to try to attain some special state. later on he says the point the most important point is to own your own physical body if you slump you will lose yourself your mind will be wandering about somewhere else you will not be in your body this is not the way we must exist right here right now this is the key point you must have your own body and mind everything should exist in the right place in the right way when there is no problem

[10:15]

if the microphone I use when I speak exists somewhere else it will not serve its purpose. When we have our body and mind in order everything else will exist in the right place in the right way." And he says, this is a right understanding so when we take this posture it symbolizes the truth, the truth being that body and mind are one thing. Typically when we slump forward and our head is like this in Zazen, it's a telltale sign that we're starting to ruminate about something, starting to think about something and we're separate from ourself. And when we bring our head back and keep our ears in line with our shoulders and keep upright, there's this alignment and things lay out just as they're supposed to be. And this is a true expression of ourself. I've borrowed Alan's teaching stick to demonstrate the symbol of the stick.

[11:30]

It's called a katsu, or katsu, and it literally means bones. And the teaching stick is given to a disciple from the master when the disciple has been empowered to be the teacher, or a teacher. And Sojinroshi carves these cuts for all his disciples. So this literally bones or teaching stick models our spine. And if you look at it, right here would be the lower part of our body and our buttocks as it goes right into the cushion. And if you can imagine when you sit, that you're going right down to the center of the earth, all the way down, rooted. And then here is right at the base of the spine and the lower part of the back. And you'll see this curve. And this curve should always be there in this lower part of the back.

[12:31]

If you maintain this curve by turning your pelvis out, you won't need so much musculature to keep upright. So the basis of this foundation is really, key point is right here. And then out here is where we're throwing our belly just kind of out and letting it hang out. And then right here is another really key place in our posture, which is a sternum or this chest area here. And if you have a feeling as if there's a string here and it's pulling up and you're lifting up the building like so, as well as this curve in your lower back, quite naturally your posture will be like so, upright, and your ears almost have to go in line with your shoulders. And then up here is a neck and a stretch here. There should be a stretch in your neck. And then this curl around here, of course, is your chin tucked in and the head coming around. So it's right on top of your spine like so. So this isn't naturally how we sort of sit around the house or at work, but it really helps one maintain a balance and an upright posture and an upright attitude about meeting life moment by moment.

[13:43]

And especially in Zazen, it helps a lot. I was experiencing a fair amount of physical discomfort. in my knees and my posture wasn't so great. I was like slumping somewhat and when I remember and Mel was as I said was very emphatic about this keeping your head on top of your spine. When I remember that and I was talking to a friend after Susheen, he was having the same experience. When he remembered as well as myself of keeping upright there's like a channel of energy that just goes up and down through the spine from the legs all the way up to the top of the head, which had been sort of cut off or severed when the posture had been broken. And when our posture breaks and there's a discomfort, there's a feeling I felt quite clearly that these are my knees and I don't like this pain, it's kind of like that garbage, I want it away. But as I remembered to keep upright and my breathing became more full and rounded, the discomfort was still, the pain was still there, but it became more like discomfort and I was feeling it, but it was no longer this sort of adversary in my life that was kind of knocking me off of my center.

[15:00]

So there was just an awareness and it was all sort of one piece. And it was this 16-foot golden Buddha body just sitting there with discomfort, and it was okay. And this friend of mine had said the same thing, in as many words, just remembering to do that. So I would encourage you all to try to keep the head on top of your spine when you're sitting, and ears in line with your shoulder. It might not feel right or look right, but it really works. I've been doing it for years. I spoke to Mel during Sashin about the first precept, ceasing from evil, and I had this sense of by sitting upright and keeping your head on top of your spine,

[16:02]

that that was ceasing from evil. So I went in to check this out with him and he said, yeah that's right, that's ceasing from evil, and as the Buddha sits up on the eucalyptus stump there and we sit in our cushions perfectly still, we're ceasing from evil. or ceasing from actions which are going to be unharmonious in life and in our relationships. So we have to do something. We can't just sit here. As Mel said once a long time ago, you know, the Buddha doesn't have to do anything. He just sits up there. But we're going out in the world and we have things that we have to do. So how can we keep this upright ceasing from evil, not getting knocked off our center in our various relationships? And again, this posture is a really good reminder. When I find myself getting into a heated discussion with someone or writing a letter to someone that I'm upset about,

[17:11]

I can feel my head going forward and I just want to get this point across or I want to tell them this thing, this point that I'm going to win this argument with, but if I remember, as I remember to bring my head back on top of my spine, it's not that I don't have the charge anymore, the point that I want to get across, but it's delivered with a lot more equanimity because it's not it's no longer me against them or me against this thing. There's a certain harmonious relationship because I'm meeting it more directly and more open without this sense of Ross versus whoever or whatever the dissonance happens to be. when they say sit upright in your chair in school and all that, as much as I didn't want to do that as a kid, as an adult I could see through the virtue of maintaining that posture.

[18:12]

Of course everyone's body is different so our postures are going to be a little different, so it becomes not so much of a literal thing of being like so, but being like so, like where it comes from down here. this these two opposing forces sort of pushing from the back the lower back and then our mudra pointing inward and bringing energy down here where our hands are these two places are pushing at the lower part of our body and like a piece of clay if you ever push you know both sides it naturally goes up so as you attend energy down there you actually feel yourself going upward so again that's something to Sojuroshi doesn't do this so much, but as a teaching tool, holding a stick up and pointing things and making points and issues, this is like an extension of that uprightness here.

[19:17]

It's all one piece, so it's coming from down here through the hand and out to whatever it happens to be needing some emphasis. These are symbols, in fact, that can help remind us of who we are and what our aspiration in life really is. My teacher in New York used to say that one should be able to sit in Times Square, since I was in Times Square, and I remember that expression. because my life is not in the monastery and it's out in the world and while Berkeley is not nearly as busy as New York City, there is an energy outside the gate that we're living in and making an effort to harmonize with.

[20:21]

So in preparing for this talk, Wednesday evening after work, I was in a pretty noisy place, and I thought, well, here's an opportunity to sit in Times Square. And while I wasn't sitting cross-legged there, I did attend to my body in a way which kept me upright, sitting upright. And I was planning on doing some note-taking, so I pulled up this paper and pen from my pocket, and I just started writing down some ideas, which I haven't really edited. They're just this little scrap piece of paper. But there are some points that came up that I wanted to share with you. like the pain in my knees when I was sort of slouching a little bit and then the discomfort in my legs when I was sitting upright. Similarly, the noise in the place where I was at was still there but it was more of like a background din as I attended to what I needed to do and for me this was yet like another sort of bag going across my path or the restaurant sign that anywhere one can really tap into something deeper

[21:38]

and just move forward with an intention to take care of the matter at hand. So, with the background done there, I was sitting upright there, writing down some notes. And after I wrote, a lady across the table said, are you a writer? And my first response was, well, I was just writing, but I didn't want to be too sarcastic. I said, no, actually, I'm actually preparing a talk on Saturday at Berkeley Zen Center. So she was kind of interested because she'd heard about meditation and the Zen Center in Berkeley and all this stuff. So we had a nice little chat there. I don't know if she showed up today. I told her where we're located. But what came up for me, more importantly than whether this lady would come for Zazen instruction or not, is that we have a responsibility when we leave the gate and while some of us are more invisible than others with regard to our practice, we're not wearing robes out in the street, there's a way that we carry ourselves that has an influence on people

[22:48]

or as this practice continues to grow in this country, these opportunities are going to come and greet us. And it's really great to be upright and meet people directly and answer them as best we can and try to encourage them if they have a desire to practice. One of my favorite metaphors is from Joko Beck's Everyday Zen book, that Zazen and life is like sitting on a train while you just watch the scenery of your life pass by, rather than sticking your head out the window and looking what's down the track, what's coming or looking the other way of what left. and that if we keep our head on top of our spine and sit upright, we're completely present, just watching the scenery. And if we catch ourselves sort of craning around in the zendo, say during breakfast, we're waiting for the food and we're looking down there, we're off to service, bringing the food or what's in the bowl that's coming down the way, it's going to come. If you just hang out here, the service will come and they'll be here.

[23:54]

But we tend to want to like, we're kind of curious what's going on or why is that person making so much noise eating. and craning our neck and looking around. But we don't have to do that. We can just sit upright and be served and be taken care of. Especially during Sashin, There's a case that comes up in mind. Sitting long, getting tired. K17, the Blue Cliff record. A monk asked Curin, what is the meaning of Bodhidharma's coming from the West? Curin said, sitting long and getting tired. Well, it's sitting without any gaining idea, which of course is one of Suzuki Roshi's big refrains, and that there's no reward in what we're doing, we're just sitting long hours.

[25:02]

And we don't necessarily have to sit in sashi to have that experience of sitting long and getting tired. When we take this practice on as a way of life, you know, mostly hours of the day we're not here in the zendo, but if we're thinking about practice and harmonizing and being open, it can be sort of tiring because all the energy is being put into, how do I harmonize in this relationship, in this situation? What's the best thing to do here? In one sense it can be tiring, ultimately it's rejuvenating because as our practice deepens and we get encouragement from others and they get encouragement from us, we actually grow and flower together. That's one of the beautiful facets of the Sangha treasure. So we sit long and we get tired and our mind just wears down and you actually as we physically get tired from sitting what happens, what can happen is that we stop looking around and we just accept who we are for what we are.

[26:13]

all the good and all the so-called bad, all the so-called good. We can sit there and we can be the 16-foot golden body with all of our warts and wrinkles and aberrations and be okay with that. It's just complete utter acceptance of who we are with all of our dreams that have been shattered and all of our aspirations yet to be fulfilled, but in this moment we cover the ground equally as Dogen says, and there's an opportunity to wake up to that and Zazen certainly helps us to see that. whether we sit sashins or just in a moment of looking up and seeing a restaurant sign. It's all right there. Well, that's about all I have to present formally.

[27:38]

We have about 10 minutes if there's any questions or comments. Bhagavan. Thank you for your talk. And I thought if anybody would know, I have two questions, you would know. And I was wondering why this is a 16-foot golden body and not a 6-foot 1 golden body and a 5-foot 6 golden body. People were taller back then. Actually, if you look at your driver's license, you will see how tall the Buddha body is. So it is six foot one and five foot six. What is it that turns the 16-foot golden button towards practice rather than living a divided life?

[29:19]

What is it that makes that happen? There's a fear toward turning to practice? Well, I mean, that's the only thing I can come up with, that there's a kind of fear of letting go of all that limiting, all that stuff that we do. Yeah. Well, that's a good question. Well, Sojourner Moshi said, when you're ready to come back, you will. And I guess the first sort of cliche I heard around that question or issue is, you haven't suffered enough, and when you suffer enough, not you personally, but when we've suffered enough, then we'll get it together and to do this.

[30:36]

And We live in the world of desire and there's a desire to wake up. My posture for the first many years was not so good. They didn't stress it in New York and it was great just sitting here like this and all concentrated and everything but no energy as Sochin was saying. And when I came out here there was this emphasis on posture and the energy derived from that, well for me naturally I want to have as much energy as possible so that there's a desire to be upright and to feel that beating people directly, and it doesn't feel so good when I'm shunning them or protecting myself. And I have visceral experiences of hiding from people, and it doesn't feel so good. And it seems really obvious to me, and they're probably picking up on it, and it happens here sometimes. It happens more often outside the gate, especially at work.

[31:39]

It doesn't feel good when people do that to me, so I make an effort to connect with people. That's just, for whatever reasons, that's just one of my things. So I think the answer distills out to a desire. And I know that you have a desire to practice and to be upright, and that residue of wanting to do these other things is, I guess, this koan that continues to flutter around to distract you. And we can't do anything. Like Sarojini said, we can't bring people to practice. All we can do is make the place available to them, just like the young lady I spoke to Wednesday night. This is when we sit and look around. Oh, she's not here today. Okay. And that's okay. I don't know if that answers your question. Yeah. Yes, Mark?

[32:42]

In terms of sitting in a chair, which I do, I realize the spirit being there to practice makes it just as viable as sitting in a lotus or some form on a cushion. But in terms of the teachings, are these body bends, are they there when one is sitting in a chair? Well, ideally they are. You know, we get Zazen instruction on Saturdays. typically what's said or supposed to be said is that from the waist up, it's all the same. The various sitting positions of Seiza, Cross-Legged Lotus, Burmese, or sitting in a chair, it shouldn't make any difference. It's more difficult sitting in a chair because it's a higher center of gravity and it just feels different, but there's a tendency to slouch in a chair and lean back. Everybody's body is different and some people have to do that. While Mel's encouragement is doing this posture adjustment, everybody has to find their place that works for them, that's comfortable.

[33:50]

And nobody can tell you that. There's like this standard by which we try to have as something to aspire to or to model or symbolize, but nobody can get it right. Nobody can get it right. There was a fellow who spoke in this seat some time ago and he was holding up his teaching stick and he was saying, you know, we're constantly doing, you know, this and just kind of bringing it back upright. And he wasn't talking about sitting in a chair or sitting full lotus, it doesn't matter. We're always doing this, even when we're just kind of out in the world working, you know, to bring it upright is what we try to do. I think it's great having chairs here for people to sit in. When I came here, there was only one chair. I don't know how we did without it, but now more people can come and sit, and it's all the same thing.

[34:53]

It's important not to get caught in those differences. you know, men, women, priest, layperson. There's all these things that we can talk about, but actually it's all one piece, which is this 16-foot golden body being expressed completely. Many different expressions. Yes, Claire? You talked about the moments during the day when we feel separate from ourselves, and for me there are thousands of them. and how you saw the grill and the tumbleweed. What are ways that you kind of come back to yourself at work? Are there ways that you have developed that help you? Well, yeah. One is I put my hand on the counter. once in a while, which is, I wasn't thinking about it when I did it at first, but it reminded me when the Buddha touched the earth as a witness to his aspiration to realize the way when he was being tempted or knocked off, so that's like sort of a physical kind of grounding gesture and

[36:03]

at work, I often will put my hands in Shashu behind my apron to kind of keep it there. And there's lots of opportunity to breathe and to keep upright. And I can feel, you know, even a customer was kind of joking because I was like slouched a little bit. And he said, and he kind of He touched my chest and kind of got me upright. I never talked to him about practice, but I think he's probably overheard enough of my conversations over the counter to know that I have something going on there. And when people from Zen Center come by at work, those are nice kind of reminders or reassurances that I'm not alone in practice. Sometimes it feels very lonely. So how do we do that if we work in a field where we don't have Sangha coming through? How do we make Sangha from so-called non-Sangha members.

[37:07]

And that's about, for me, being upright, meeting people, and finding that place of intimacy which transcends the differences of self and other. And then there's a feeling of connection there. And it's not about being a Buddhist or anything, it's just about living and being lived by other beings. But you know, quite simply, breath and posture are really the, they're so simple. I think because they're so simple, we forget about them. Yeah. Julia. Yeah, a few years ago, I remember you said to me, we were walking during the evening, you know, with a lecture around, and I can't remember why, but you were teasing me. me and you said something. But you saw that right out grill, you know?

[38:09]

And I often find, I mean, I think that the rule is that we're supposed to keep our eyes down during camping as we do during Zazen, but I see really wonderful things. so I was there beforehand. And so I'm wondering, couldn't we... Well, first off, it's not a rule not to look around. You know, we're encouraged not to look around. That's really important because as one of the people here that has been appointed or empowered to point out the forms, it's really easy for people to think of rules and breaking rules and like bucking the rules and hell with Ross. So, I mean, somebody put newspaper in the mixed paper thinking, did they do that absentmindedly or are they like getting back at me or what?

[39:14]

They're two separate, you know, it's one bin but two separate bins. So we're encouraged not to look around because generally I feel, generally speaking, if we're looking around we're craning our neck and we're looking, we're outward. So how do we bring the energy inward? and more importantly, how do we bring the energy inward as we're looking around? You know, it's not, I think, I've never spoken to Sojin about this, but my hunch is that people tend to err on one side, and his encouragement is to work on the other side, to orient toward the other side, and we each find our place right in the middle. That's how I sense it. I mean, I look around, but when I catch myself doing this, for me, it's a little ... it's not so balanced, it feels a little like I'm out of my body. But here, especially when the garden is so beautiful, you don't have to look around at all and you're watching all kinds of things as you walk by.

[40:18]

That's right. So, actually, your eyes are cast downward slightly, you're making sure you're not running into the person in front of you, and you can see plenty. and as our practice deepens actually our peripheral vision kind of widens and we don't have to actually physically look around, we actually can see a lot more just as we move through the universe and we hear a lot more, I mean you just become much more sensitized and in fact the 10,000 dharmas are coming forward realizing us. and some people are more curious than others and some people can be too upright and not looking around at all and that might be a little cold and stiff so we have to kind of find a place in the middle and when I first came out here I felt this place was too loose and too like you know California or whatever because where I came from it was a lot more formal or strict or what I felt was rule-bound and there's a lot to be said for that kind of practice because the energy

[41:21]

comes inward. And as Alan spoke some time ago about his retreat up in Washington, that form of practice has a very beneficial side, which it really brings the energy inward and you really do go through internal changes and perceptions and all that. And the style of the practice here is, you know, flavoured by Suzuki Roshi, and Sojin Roshi, and Berkeley, and all these things coming together, and it's a really wonderful mix. So there's lots of latitude, and Sojin doesn't really, as Andrea said, doesn't go around so much anymore, straightening postures, because people are going to sit the way they're going to sit. So we're kind of left to ourselves to figure out how much we're going to do or not do. But it's a really good question also because you hear one thing and it seems like something else is going on. It looks like we need to end.

[42:27]

Thank you very much for your attention and questions. Beings are numberless.

[42:37]

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