That was all the secret teaching. We didn't want that recorded. Okay, so sitting, so the Buddha after practicing for about six years and finally falling in with a crowd of monks who were practicing really radical austerities and really not giving their bodies anything to go on. Finally, he said, it's enough. This wasn't working either. And he studied with the best teachers of his time. So finally, he just decided he was going to sit cross-legged under the Bodhi tree. on the banks of the Niranjara River. And he vowed not to get up from his seat until he attained complete enlightenment, even though he didn't know what that was.

[01:07]

Which is pretty... I was just thinking about it the other day. It's such an astonishing vow. It's like he said, OK, enough. I've tried all these things. I'm just going to sit down here, even if it kills me. And he didn't know what was going to come, but he had faith. So he sat there, and on the night of his awakening, he experienced the arising of three great knowledges. This is a really good book, if you don't know it. the life of the Buddha by Bhikkhu Nyanamoli, which is basically, it's all words from the sutras. And so the story is completely told, sort of moving back and forth.

[02:10]

So on that night, when my concentrated mind was purified, bright, unblemished, and rid of imperfection, when it had become malleable, wieldy, steady, and attained to imperturbability, I directed, I inclined my mind, to the knowledge of recollection of past lives. I recollected my manifold past lives, let's say 1 birth, 2, 3, 4, 5, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 births, 100 births, 1,000 births, 100,000 births, many ages of world contraction, many ages of world expansion, many ages of world contraction and expansion. I was there so named of such a race with such an appearance, such food, such experience of pleasure and pain, and so on. That was his discovery in the first watch of the night from 6 p.m. until about 10 p.m. During the second watch, he saw from 10 to 2, he saw how all beings pass on and arise, how they die and how they're born.

[03:38]

according to their actions or karma. In the third watch, just before dawn, he directed his mind to the exhaustion of the taints of greed, hatred, and delusion, and experienced the Four Noble Truths. When he experienced the Four Noble Truths, it was with great joy and liberation when he said, rebirth is ended, the holy life is fulfilled, what was to be done has been done, and there is no more of this to come." Meaning, this is his last life. After all those lives he recounted to himself. So, this was the Buddha's first great gift to us, and first great discovery. After his enlightenment, Buddha stayed near the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya for 49 days and just basically investigating what was arising, enjoying the sense of peace that he had experienced at last.

[05:04]

He had never had peace before and he was just really filled with this sense of peace and with this clarity about who he was and how life was just unfolding. And the Brahma, Brahma Sahampati, who represents the Hindu creator deity, came to him and convinced him that it was very nice for him to sit there in peace, but that actually the world needed his teachings. And that the Brahma Sampadhi said that actually there are those in the world with just a little dust in their eyes who might actually grasp the method and the message of liberation.

[06:09]

And the Buddha thought about that. He's probably right. And then he thought about who he might share this with. And the first people who came to mind were his teachers. The teachers who had taken him as far as they could go. Yogic teachers. Alara Kalama and Udaka Ramapata, with whom he had studied at different periods of the previous six years. But when he thought about them, there were all kinds of powers that he had developed. With this enlightenment, he realized they had just died. They had died that week. And so, with some regret, he couldn't teach them. And then he remembered his five monk friends, with whom he had explored these various practices and austerities, and thought they might be the ideal people to teach, that they had been really

[07:29]

tested and developed by their practice and with just a little help, they could grasp the same thing that he grasped. And so, again with his divine eye, he saw that they happened right then to be in the deer park in Varanasi, so he set out for there. On the way, An interesting thing happened. He met another monk, Upaka, on the road to Varanasi. I think this is a wonderful story. I'll just read it to you. It's not exactly relevant to the Four Noble Truths, but I like these stories. Between the place of enlightenment and Gaya, the monk Upaka saw him on the road. He said, Your faculties are serene, friend, the color of your skin is clear and bright.

[08:42]

Under whom have you gone forth? Or who is your teacher? Or whose Dhamma do you confess? When this was said, the Blessed One addressed the monk Upaka in stanzas. And this is what the Buddha said, I am an all-transcender and all-knower, unsullied by all things, renouncing all, by cravings ceasing freed. And this I owe to my own wisdom. To whom should I concede it? I have no teacher, and my like exists nowhere in all the world, with all its gods, because I have no person for my counterpart. I am the teacher in the world, without a peer, accomplished too. and I alone am quite enlightened, quenched, whose fires are all extinct. I go now to Cassis, I go to Cassis city now to set the wheel of Dhamma in motion. In a blindfold world I go to beat the deathless drum." That's a great line.

[09:44]

In a blindfold world I go to beat the deathless drum. Then Upakar responds, by your claims friend you are a universal victor. The victors like me, Upaka, are those whose taints are quite exhausted. I have vanquished all states of evil. It is for that I am a victor. When this was said, the monk Upatra remarked, may it be so, friend. Shaking his head, he took a sidetrack and departed. So it didn't work. His first teaching, it was more than his first student could handle.

[10:45]

So he said, you know, it's like, OK, you know, good luck to you later. And so he had to find, I just kind of wonder, well, what then did the Buddha think? He was just revealing who he was, but he could see that this wasn't skillful or appropriate means. And so when he reached the deer park and saw his friends, he realized he had to try another approach. So when they saw him, you have to realize when they had left him, they were really upset because he had been with them for quite a while practicing, and finally he'd given up. They kept at these austerities, but he had said, this doesn't work. So they thought he had kind of fallen by the way.

[11:50]

And so when they saw him, they were skeptical. But then when they saw him, they saw there was something going on. There was something quite different about him. And that's where we get to the Sutra. So maybe we could start. So it's the first discourse of the Buddha. It should be like on your second page. And let's just read, how about we go around. And you just go around, each person read a section. It's the simplest way. So let's read it out loud. Pat, you go around. And soon you can be second. Thus have I heard, at one time the Blessed One was staying at Deer Park, the Issa Pantana, the sage's resort near Varanasi. The two extremes. Then the Buddha addressed the five ascetics.

[12:55]

O bhikkhus, one who has gone forth from worldly life should not indulge in these two extremes. What are the two? There is indulgence in desirable sense objects, which is low, vulgar, worldly, ignoble, unworthy, and unprofitable. And there is devotion to self-mortification, which is painful, unworthy, and unprofitable. The middle path. Both bhikkhus, avoiding both these extremes, the Tathagata has realized the Middle Path. It produces vision, it produces knowledge, it leads to calm, to higher knowledge, to enlightenment, to nirvana. And what is the Middle Path of a bhikkhu that the Tathagata has realized? It is simply the Noble Eightfold Path, namely, Right understanding, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right awareness, and right concentration.

[14:01]

This is the Noble Eightfold Path realized by the Tathagata. It produces vision, it produces knowledge, it leads to calm, to higher knowledge, of suffering, dukkha. Birth is suffering. Aging is suffering. Sickness is suffering. Death is suffering. Sorrow and lamentation can lead to despair of suffering. Association with the unloved or unpleasant condition is suffering. Separation from the beloved or pleasant condition is suffering. Not to get what one wants is suffering. In brief, the five aggregates of attachment are suffering. This, Oberklutz, is the noble truth of the original self.

[15:03]

It is craving which produces rebirth, bound up with pleasure and glee. It finds delight in this and that. In other words, craving for sense-purchase, craving for existence or becoming, and craving for non-existence or self-denialism. of suffering, giving up, renouncing, relinquishing, detaching from craving. This, Socrates, is the noble truth of the path leading to the cessation of suffering. It is simply the Noble Eightfold Path, namely, right understanding, right thought, right teaching, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right awareness, and right concentration. This is the Noble Truth of Suffering, which we fully understood.

[16:12]

This is the Noble Truth of Suffering. This is a novel through the origin of suffering, which has been abandoned, thus believed.

[17:19]

Concerned things are not going to be for those who are relative to the original. There arose in me a vision, the knowledge, the wisdom, the insight, and the virtue. This has been overtreated, the origin of suffering, which has been abandoned. The best hope it gives concerning this, concerning these things, these concerning things not heard before. There arose in me a vision, the knowledge, the wisdom, This is the noble truth of the cessation of suffering which has been realized. Thus, O Bhikkhus, concerning things not heard before, there arose in me the vision, the knowledge, the wisdom, the insight, and the light.

[18:40]

This is the noble truth of the path leading to the cessation of suffering, which has been Thus will be peace concerning things not heard before, through arosing me the vision, the knowledge, the wisdom, the insight, and the light. As long as my vision of true knowledge was not fully clear in these three aspects and in these twelve ways regarding the Four Noble Truths, I did not claim to have realized the perfect enlightenment that is supreme in the world with its Idas, Maras, and Brahmas. In this world, with its Rukdusas and with Brahmanas, with its Princes and Men, I did And when I'll be pleased, my vision of true knowledge is fully clear in these three aspects and in these twelve ways regarding the Four Noble Truths, then I claim to have realized the perfect enlightenment, the supreme in the world, with its divas, lords, and brahmins.

[19:59]

In this world, with its recluses and brahmins, how do you say their names? Brahmanas. Brahmanas. Brahmanas. With its princes and men. Indeed. A vision of true knowledge arose in me thus. My mind's deliverance is unseen. This is the last vision. Now there is no more to come. Reflections on the sermon. Thus the Buddha spoke. The group of five bhikkhus was glad and reclaimed his words. While this doctrine was being expounded, there arose from the Venerable Khundana the kandana, the pure, immaculate vision of the truth, and he realized that whatsoever is subject to causation is also subject to cessation. When the Buddha expounded the Discourse, thus putting into motion the turning of the real dharma, the devas of the earth explained, this excellent real dharma, which could not be expounded by any aesthetic, brahmana, deva, mara, or brahma in this world, has been put into motion by the Blessed One at the Deer Park in Jisipatthana near Varanasi.

[21:11]

Hearing this, the Devas, Kakuma, Harajika, Tamsa, Yama, Tushita, Kriyanatha, Parvata, and the Brahmas also made the same joyous cry. Thus, at that very moment, at that very instant, this joyous cry extended as far as the Brahma realm. These 10,000 world systems quaked, tottered, and trembled violently. A radiant light, surpassing the radiance of a diva, appeared in the world. Then the Buddha said, friends, Khandana has indeed understood. Friends, Khandana has indeed understood. Therefore, the memorable Khandana was made. I now see Khandana. Khandana, do you understand? You don't really need anything else than that in this text to practice Buddhism, I think.

[22:18]

This is incredibly rich and wonderful. Maybe we'll read it again, but not right now. Let me just say something about what, just to diagrammatically what I see happening here. So he goes to the deer park and his friends see him, he sees his friends, and he begins to teach. And the first thing that he teaches is the middle path. I mean, he's speaking directly to the experience that they that they shared. He comes from this royal background and had every kind of indulgence and luxury imaginable. And then he practiced the most bitterly ascetic life, which they were still involved in. And he finds that neither one of those was conducive to enlightenment.

[23:27]

So he teaches the middle path, And for the first time, he outlines the Middle Path as the Eightfold Path, and he talks about the eight elements of that. Right understanding, right thought, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right awareness, right concentration. And again, we'll come back to this. We're just going to keep circling around this stuff. We'll come back and talk about what those actually what those actually imply in terms of practice and how one lives. Yeah? here is defined as not choosing sensory, not getting lost in hedonism, or not getting lost in cessation.

[24:42]

But there seems to be at least one other way. Well, I think there are other ways. I think what he was pointing to, seems to me, very much in this sermon was just like, how can you live? Not like talking about, eternal or not eternal, which does have some, you know, has some implications for how you live, but he was just saying here, he was talking about the middle path, because he was speaking to their shared experience, you know, because they had been through all this stuff together, they had tried this together, and they were still, he set it aside, but they were still on that path, and he was saying, this is not going to work. But here, if you follow this Eightfold Path, which is a middle way of wholesome life, this is what he discovered. So you're speaking to that.

[25:43]

So he talks about the Eightfold Path, then he lays out the Four Noble Truths. We'll talk about the first one a bit more, but... And then he lays out the Eightfold Path again, actually. He does it twice, which I think is... It's important, because that's the way you experience liberation. You know, when it comes right down to it, what he's suggesting is the Eightfold Path is the way to live and practice. So it bears repetition. Then there's this whole section where I think we skipped a couple because it's somewhat repetitive, but what's going on here is, so it's these three stages in twelve aspects of each truth. has three stages to it, the way he's putting it forth here, at least as he discovered it and as he found useful.

[26:57]

The stages are one, just basically recognition or statement of the truth, recognizing there is suffering, recognizing there's a cause of suffering, recognizing there's an end of suffering, and recognizing what that end might be. And then, the second stage is understanding that truth, investigating it, penetrating it, so that, in other words, practicing with what you see, with the awareness that comes to you. irritated. You know, the truth is, you see, I'm irritated, I'm suffering. And then there's the process of practicing with it, investigating it. And then the third stage is a kind of affirmation.

[27:59]

It's, the truth has been penetrated. And when the truth has been penetrated, then you don't you're not stuck in that place anymore so he's laying out for each of these there's uh there are these three uh these three stages yeah but timisra talks about this he points out that this section says that there's a duty for each of us the first is to be understood the second is to be or the first is to be understood The second is to be abandoned. So suffering is to be understood. Suffering is to be abandoned. The origin of suffering is to be lost in this. The origin of suffering is to be abandoned. But then it has been abandoned. The cessation of suffering is to be realized. The path is to be ignored. Right. They're kind of parallel, but each one has a particular character.

[29:01]

Actually, I want to say on the reading list, the text that we're reading is from this book, The First Discourse of the Buddha by Venerable Grawathadhamma, who is a Burmese teacher, lives in Birmingham, England. Quite a wonderful man. And I know, as I asked Philip at Shambhala, there are seven copies there. He ordered some and that's what he could get. So you might want it. It's pretty good and pretty detailed. Just at least on a technical level, it gives you a real idea of what's going on in this discourse. So it's there. So there are those, there are those, the 12 aspects. And then There's a section, Enlightenment Not Yet Claimed, which is where he's saying, you know, as long as I didn't understand this, even though my practice was very good, I could not claim to be enlightened.

[30:20]

And then Enlightenment Claimed, when I did understand this, these three aspects in twelve ways, that kind of, that enlightenment was the highest experience one could have in this world of Devas who are gods, Maras who are sort of deceivers, Brahmas. How would you describe Brahmas? Brahmas, I think of the Brahmas as sort of almost like the Greek gods, the ones who are always kind of like mucking about with the human realm. Does that seem accurate? The devas are kind of out there, they got their own world, they're not too concerned. The Brahmas, like the Brahma Sahampati, who asked the Buddha to teach her, are more like involved in this world and they kind of, they have some discourse with the Brahmanas who are the humans, the Brahmins, the priests and that higher caste.

[31:34]

With its, you know, recluses, monks on one hand and Brahmanas who are kind of noble priests and princes and men. And then, in the last section, I think, is quite extraordinary, because two things happen. One is that somebody really gets it. Kandana, when this is preached to him, completely gets it and is awakened. in the same way that the Buddha was awakened. So, unlike the monk Upaka who said, great, see you later, Kandana completely connects, it opens up his mind fully. And then, in the end it says, his name has changed, therefore the Venerable Kandana was named Anassi Kandana, Kandana who understands.

[32:43]

which is wonderful. So, there, in this very condensed form, you see the possibility of the teaching, it's not just the Buddha's awakening, but that what he understands can be shared, can be shared between him and others, and by implication, can be shared between anyone who understands, who conducts and speaks in an appropriate way that can act as kind of a key for somebody else's, for someone else to understand. So that's the first occurrence, first time that's ever happened. And so kandana, in fact all five of these guys in short order understand and they become arhats, which means they're perfected and they're buddhas to be.

[33:49]

And when he does this, all of a sudden the heavens rejoice. It's a very, you can think of this in Christian terms, there's this great good news. The gospel has been communicated and the universe is singing this joyous cry extended as far as the Brahma realm. These 10,000 world systems quake, totter, and tremble violently. a radiant light surpassing the radiance of the devas appeared in the world. So this is an important moment. That didn't happen when the Buddha was enlightened. It happened when the Buddha taught and showed that the understanding that he brought forward for himself could actually be shared and transmitted.

[34:56]

Yeah. It's just, yeah, it's just, this is the noble truth of suffering. This is the noble truth of suffering which should be fully understood. In other words, you see that there is suffering. It's just, it's just awareness, a recognition of of that truth or that fact, and then that's in parallel in each of the truths. And really, you could say, it's interesting, the other book I would really recommend to you is Thich Nhat Hanh's book, The Heart of Buddhist Teaching. because he goes into this in pretty good detail. And, you know, what you could say is that if you really, if you really just understand and practice and penetrate the first Noble Truths, then actually you've penetrated them all.

[36:28]

But the way he lays it out, and we'll talk about this more as we go on, that each truth actually has, it contains and implies the others, but pushes you a little further, you know, pushes you a little further along in the process of actually letting go. So, so far this is kind of background. Let's talk a little about suffering, or let's talk about dukkha. As I said, I prefer to call it dukkha rather than suffering. What it says in this sutra is that birth is dukkha, aging is dukkha, sickness is dukkha, death is dukkha, sorrow and lamentation, pain, grief and despair are dukkha.

[37:47]

Association with the unloved or unpleasant condition is dukkha. Separation from the beloved or pleasant condition is dukkha. Not to get what one wants is dukkha. And then, in brief, the five aggregates of attachment, or the five clinging skandhas, are dukkha. So, I feel that when we call it suffering, it narrows the meaning for me in a not useful way. When we call life suffering, then it implies to me the lack of joy. And that's an ongoing criticism of Buddhism, that it's negative.

[38:49]

And it's interesting. When I was reading this, I was thinking about, it occurred to me, there's this Indian revolutionary teacher, Dr. B.R. Ambedkar, who converted all of the, he converted a lot of untouchables in the early 1950s. And he wrote a book he brought Buddhism back to India after it had been gone for centuries and thought of Buddhism as a way to... as a path that would bring some dignity to the lives of the untouchables who have just terrible lives in India, even today. But he had a lot of trouble with... He decided that the Four Noble Truths were actually not the teaching of the Buddha, because he felt that the way he understood it as life is suffering, well, they had enough suffering.

[40:02]

He didn't think that he could bring that teaching to people whose lives were virtually entirely suffering. And so he actually completely rewrote the sermon. It's actually, it's kind of odd. But I think that's the problem that you get into when you translate dukkha as suffering. This is, this is not, these truths are not absolute. It's really important to understand that it doesn't mean that everything is miserable. I mean, if that were the case, why would we be sitting around here? What a waste. And also, if it were absolute, then it wouldn't be subject to cessation.

[41:03]

and there would not be a possibility of liberation. So, how we look at this Dukkha, how we personalize it, is a really interesting question. How you personalize the feeling that you're having? Right now you may be bored, or your legs may hurt, or you may be, in zendo, you may be irritated by how somebody is breathing or walking. And what is that irritation? Why does that, why does that sensation arise as suffering when it's just a sensation. It's something that we do and therefore we have some choice.

[42:14]

Like the Buddha is saying, throughout you have choice about how you perceive the information that's coming in or the information that arises within you. And in that choice is precisely the opportunity for freedom. So, I think that, you know, for me, it's a really awkward word, but it's, I'm more comfortable in a way with with the notion of dukkha as sort of unsatisfactoriness or incompleteness with the sort of concomitant other marks that it's, you know, it's not permanent. Our clinging makes us want to have things that are permanent.

[43:18]

If I'm feeling good, I want it to be permanent. If I'm feeling bad, I want to get rid of it. permanently. And what Dukkha is saying is, you know, whatever it is, it's not permanent. And in that impermanence, in our clinging mind, we find our impermanence unsatisfactory. We have the teaching of the three marks. that all things are impermanent, that nothing has a fixed self, and that it is dukkha, or unsatisfactory. Again, the way, it's interesting, the Thich Nhat Hanh said he would reframe that, and he reframes it not just on his own understanding, but looking at some of the later Mahayana texts, and he would say that things are impermanent, not self, and nirvana.

[44:39]

In other words, perfect. Perfect in it's being imperfect and it's being impermanent. So that's a, again, that's a really, that's a radical way of framing dukkha. Does that make any sense? You look perplexed. Right. I don't see that you are such a To say it's suffering doesn't seem to me to be a misunderstanding of the text. It's absolute. It spells out what suffering is, the conditions, and how those conditions can be altered to remove suffering. And it strikes me that maybe it's a very personal, temperamental thing, according to one's own

[45:44]

To me, it's kind of, to say it's unsatisfactory doesn't hit hard enough. It doesn't have the, to me, it's like this subject. And for it, you know, so much of it is, and it's kind of a diluting it for not placing it squarely to use other words and say it's unsatisfactory. I just... practice. Who doesn't have a complicated life here? Well, I meant... Including you. Yeah. They've pared it down. They've pared it down. I wonder. You think so? That's my limited experience. I know my life's a lot simpler now than it used to be. I'm curious to know what other people feel.

[46:50]

My life is a lot more complicated than it was before I took up this practice. But I don't know. I'm just curious. I think there are different waves of something going on in there, different kinds of phenomena. You may simplify the physical objects or whatever in your life and your thinking. aspects which we simplify. I don't know if you simplify one something else, but there's some kind of balancing that goes on. I find I'm busier than, I'm doing more things in my life because I'm doing things here, but somehow everything seems calmer. or even the things that I do here at the Zen Center, there's something calming about it that spreads out to the rest of my life in an interesting way, that tends to help me not make my life more complicated.

[48:00]

I don't know if that's... Yeah, I think, Patricia. Well, it seems like the one thing that I recognize within myself is as I continue to practice is that my life may remain as complicated and all the things that need to just in the world and my and daily living but with practice I seem to feel that I have more space like time even feels and I and I feel it's like the way I relate to it more than actually anything changing with And I'm not sure how that evolves, but I do understand that since I have been practicing, and the deeper I practice, that this is something that I've become more aware of.

[49:07]

The only way I can best describe it is almost a little change in space and time. I mean, I think what we do is, in one sense or another, practice the incapable path. And in that sense, we're kind of regulating our lives in practice. So the external circumstances may be as busy or as crazy as ever, or they might not, but The whole point of practice is to be able to control, be aware of what's happening internally, and not be pushed around by that. And in that sense, then, one feels one's life in a more spacious mode.

[50:10]

And I think that everybody who practices for a while begins to experience some of that. Some of that is a good practice. It's an important encouragement. It's just kind of a step along the path, but it's really important to see that. So now this is really along the lines of what people were saying, that separation between myself as separate from the world, that border breaks down. So I'm going about my daily life, but I don't think so much about my self-operating world. It seems to me more and more like one whole, with each moment just I think that separation is actually just suffering.

[51:29]

I mean, suffering is separation. It's like a division between... We go around with certain ideas about how the world should be and sort of imagine how things could be better than they are. You know, construct this sort of ideal. image of the world, and then the world doesn't actually match that idea, and you get that kind of separation of experience. The feeling that things aren't quite right. Well, one of the... I think one of the other things that's quite wonderful about Duke, is that it unites us with everybody. It means, you know, because I experience Dukkha, then I can relate to you who experiences Dukkha.

[52:35]

We have this, you know, this deep human connection. from a shared experience, the particulars of that experience may be different from moment to moment, but the fundamental experience is the same. It's a ground for an incredible sense of connection. And thereby, it's also a ground for compassion. If you can connect with your own sense of Dukkha, then you have a basis for really feeling the pain in other people's lives. And see that as deeply human, rather than as something scary or threatening.

[53:42]

or other. So I think that's another way of turning what we might think of as negative into a tool to work with so that we can actually be with ourselves and with each other. I think that's playing out what you and Colleen were talking about. I want to get back to the translation of Duke because Howard says he prefers suffering because it has more hope to it. a great realization for me when a teacher was talking about dukkha as not being such a big deal. Because I remember going into a teacher and one retreat and saying, I thought suffering was the big stuff.

[54:47]

I didn't think suffering was not liking what's for lunch. And to see that it included not liking what's for lunch. You know, that Tanisro translates against how things are. And so a more encompassing definition of dukkha also then creates more of a connection, because it's not simply the big stuff, but it's this continual experience that we all have of unsatisfactoriness, of stress, of fighting against how things are. Yeah, it's just how everything is. And the fact is, if you think of it as the big stuff, and then And if you can't work with the small stuff, as Duca, and can't figure out, can't investigate it, can't be present with it, frankly, you have no chance of going anyplace with the big stuff.

[55:55]

And to see that the small stuff is optional. So there's this option moment after moment after moment, not just when it's the big stuff. Right, so you begin to create an opening of these options. I mean, why does it bother me? And I'm sure it bothers a lot of us here. Why is that? Do you have an answer? Today, okay, today I was at the gym. I was alive. And I work out there. I was on one of the treadmills. And there was a woman I had never seen before. Usually you see these things day after day.

[56:57]

A woman I had never seen before, who was running faster than anybody I'd ever seen running the treadmill. She had the treadmill up to She was running under six minute miles. No, she was running six minute miles. Ten miles an hour on the treadmill. That's fast. She did it sort of, she would do it for about five minutes and then go back down to ten minute miles and then go back up. But after a while it got to really bother me. Partly it was bothering me because she was pounding. You know, her feet were pounding. And it was just, it was really exciting. Why is, why does this bother me? Who is, what's the bother here?

[58:01]

And it was not a real strong, I mean it's just like, It didn't bother me that much, but I could see that there was something coming up, some aversion. Why does she have to run that hard? Doesn't she know how to be light on her feet? Who cares? What business is it of mine? But these are the kinds of things that we build suffering out of. There was nothing suffering in just that bare perception of you know, the bare perception. We're going to get into this when we talk about the skandhas. So, you have first, it forms feeling. A feeling is just, you know, the perception, the first noticing of just sense information. And then you decide whether that sense of information is pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral. That's your decision.

[59:07]

Right there, you're starting to make decisions about what you prefer, what you don't prefer. I would prefer that she was quieter, and I was happier when I mean, I'd like to maybe open inquiry into how we investigate the suffering of just whatever people's example are, the runner or the reader, because it's so simple. Because I don't ask why. I think I've done this practice enough now to know why. that I'm going on in that moment. And two, there's a way that I've found in my mind, at least for the breather and not a lot of other things in life, of making all experiences neutral and of experiencing what I take to be discussions of things and just to be there with that segment of life.

[60:22]

So just to open it up, is there any use in asking The end of suffering for me is just to train the mind to be open to the grieving and to be a compassionate recognition response, not denial response, but just make that another thing that's happening in that moment. Well, let's come back to that because it's about nine o'clock. My feeling is that you may have worked through a number, you're working, in that sense, you're working through the meaningful path. And that's why this is laid out in three stages and 12 aspects, because people need to work through in different ways.

[61:30]

Even though the thing isn't, this is Zen, right? Zen is no stages, you know, no stages. In other words, all at once. So you could practice the way Judas is suggesting, if you could do that. But I think we should come back to that. But I agree. Actually, when I, for me, the why is actually a how. For myself, when I think about that question, it's more like, how is this working on me? The why has a kind of, when I listen to somebody read or I listen, it's like there's almost a kind of humor, a quizzical humor in it. How is this working on me?

[62:32]

This may be a kind of Jewish construing of that. But it's more, it's a how. So let's come back to some more that I want to say about and talk about suffering next week. And then we talk about the origin of suffering. But I think what would be really interesting for each of us in this week, we identify and experience of suffering. And let it be something small. It could be something really big, but it doesn't necessarily have to be. Let it be small, but something really experienced in your mind or in your interaction. And write it down. Write it down for yourself. What happened? How did it feel? We will bring some of that.

[63:37]

We can talk about some of that. I don't think we'll have time to go into every one, but if someone has something that they've found that they really want to share, we can do that. Meanwhile, I do recommend these two books. And read the Sutra. Read the Sutra again. different aspects of dukkha, the ones that are physical, the ones that are mental, the ones that are aversional, etc. We dedicate the merit of our study together, and our time together,

[64:38]

for the sake of liberation and the development of Mokshi Chita.

[64:44]

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