Good morning. So this morning, I would like to speak of my respected elder and teacher, Blanche Hartman, who passed away a little over a week ago. And I want to start by, well, first I want to acknowledge that there are people in this room who knew her longer and perhaps closer than I did. And Sojin Roshi was her Hanshi, which means he gave her Dharma transmission and Blanche was his first disciple in that respect. So I think that other people would like to leave time for other people to speak as well. But I'd like to begin by framing this with a koan, Case 86 from the Blue Cliff Record.

[01:06]

It's one that you have heard before. I know Sojin has lectured on it numerous times. case about Zen Master Yunmin. Yunmin gave instruction saying, everyone has their own light. If you want to see it, you can't. The darkness is dark, dark. Now, what is your light? Everyone has their own light. But if you want to see it, you can't. The darkness is dark, dark. Now what is your light?" And he answered himself. He gave his own reply. The storeroom, the gate. Then again, he said, it would be better to have nothing than to have something good.

[02:12]

So. This light and warmth is was so striking. Several days ago I had the privilege to help Sojin Roshi, who was leading the cremation ceremony for Blanche at Pacific Interment over in Emeryville. And. Some of you have been to a cremation ceremony. Many of you probably have not in our tradition. We've done quite a few of these, and I suspect we're going to do more. It's a very intimate, one of a number of ceremonies that take place around people's passing. So a number of times in which one gets to engage with the body of the person who has passed, with our images of that person, and with those that are shared among the people who were there.

[03:31]

And when we do the cremation ceremony, it's an open casket and the body is there. And there are, we chant the names of Buddha. We chant the Enmei Juku Kanon Gyo, which is evoking the compassion of Avalokiteshvara. And there are words spoken. And people are invited to speak from their heart about or to that person. And then we circumambulate the body and people can place flowers, incense, messages in the gasket to send it along. And it's a wonderfully intimate ceremony. And then those who wish can go into the adjoining room, which is where the, uh, I think they call it the crucible.

[04:37]

You know, it's basically where the body is, is cremated. And we, we send into, it's quite an industrial space. It's, it's a peculiar space, but we send that body off chanting the heart Sutra. So, We had this ceremony for Blanche who died at the age of 90. And I met Blanche when I came to Berkeley Zen Center and then to Tassajara more than 30 years ago. And like many people in those early days, she was the person who helped me sew my first Raksu, my Bosio cases that I've sewn. And she was married to Lou Hartman, who was a little older than her.

[05:37]

And Lou was quite the character. And they both had begun their practice at Berkeley Zentener. They began on Dwight Way. And they began with Sojourn. So there was always, they always felt a root connection here. And when I would see them, I felt that as well. most of their Zen lives, they lived at all three of the San Francisco centers, but I remember vividly, and I'm sure that Ross does, and Roy does, when they lived here, it must have been 80, I think it was like a winter, 88, 89, when Sojin Roshi was leaving the practice period at Kasahara, and they lived in his office. And they just, I think they were kind of amazed to be like, oh, we have to take care of our lives ourselves, like nobody's.

[06:42]

in the kitchen serving us meals like they do at Zen Center, but they managed, and they were, they fit, they just fit so easily into our community. In many ways, Blanche and Lou were kind of archetypal Berkeley people, you know? They were radical and free-thinking. So there's a lot that I can say. I remember when I, met Blanche at Tassajara when I first saw her. And actually, I think there's photographs. I just thought you might, those of you who don't know, you can pass those around. When I first met her at Tassajara, you know, here was a formidable looking Zen woman. She looked stern and tough, you know. She had that side, but that was not the essence.

[07:51]

The essence was warm, open, ready to meet everyone. And she often said, you know, you yourself are the Buddha. And she saw the Buddha in everybody. But I think that from knowing her, from listening to her talks, and from reading her book, which I strongly recommend. And this is, we've got to get these, we're sort of behind in getting things through the bookstore. This is a book that was recently published called Seeds for a Boundless Life. the Zen teachings from the heart. And this is a, it's a collection of short and longer pieces by Blanche, and it was edited by Zenju Manuel, who spoke here several weeks ago, and we actually need to get her book, too, The Way of Tenderness. We have it now, okay.

[08:53]

Two copies, right. I had to search for, I found one at the Buddhist bookstore, which, if you don't know it, on, It's not Dwight, it's Bancroft. Bancroft and Oxford, yeah. It's a great place. Durant, Durant. Anyway, this book is full of her light and I want to read some things from it. But as I said, you could feel this light at Pacific Interment. The chapel was filled with her family members, her children. and her disciples and people who have been very close to her for many years at San Francisco Zen Center. And they were carrying, her light was in the room. But I think that her answer, if she had been the protagonist of that koan, instead of Yunmin's comment, the storehouse, the storeroom, the gate,

[10:00]

Blanche might have said, the sewing room, the shop. She was. She was just so capable. And Nick Sojan, you said that, you know, just she was a person of vast capability, of interpersonal capability, of mechanical capability, of facility with the wiles of a piece of cloth that can be stretched in one way or another. She had all of these abilities. So she was formidable in that way, but she was also completely inclusive. She was curious about people and devoted to the work of peace. She had grown up in the Deep South, so she was passionate about diversity in her life, in the Sangha, and her personal responsibility that she took was to really

[11:08]

engage with people of a variety of backgrounds and races who had come to San Francisco Zen Center to make them feel, not just to make them feel welcome, but to invite from them their contributions, the special qualities that each of us has based on whom we are. So there's another koan that comes to mind for me in relation to the Blanche. And this was something that was also mentioned in the ceremony on Tuesday, this quality. And I go back to, this is case 19 in the Gateless Gate where Then the student, Joshu, asks his teacher, Master Nansen, what is the way?

[12:19]

And Nansen replies, ordinary mind is the way. So this ordinary mind is always, it's immediately and always right here. And we miss it because it's also beyond our understanding, beyond the ability to kind of get our mind around the ordinary mind. And someone was questioning whether ordinary wasn't somehow a put down. And I said, you know, for me, ordinary is the highest, it's the highest quality. It's what I really respect.

[13:23]

Again, personally for me, it was what drew me to Zen, reading Chinese and Japanese literature and hearing the ordinary expressed in very, in ways that were both very careful and completely explosive, if you will. Because there's something transcendent in the ordinary without making anything special about it. So I could go into all kinds of digression about the meaning of the word ordinary, but I won't. But this is how Blanche was. She was ordinary, and people said she wouldn't stand any fuss. And someone said, I think over lunch, well, yeah, what would she have made of this ceremony? And they said, well, probably she would have thought too much fuss, but she would have secretly enjoyed it.

[14:31]

So I'd like to read you some things from her book and then leave some time for other people to speak. These are just some excerpts. This is a piece that's called Just Being Alive Is Enough. In 1989, I had a heart attack, she said. As I was leaving the hospital, I stepped into the sunshine and I had this sudden realization. Wow, I'm alive. I could be dead. Wow, the rest of my life is a gift. And then I thought, oh, it always has been from the very beginning. Nobody owed me this life. It was just given to me. And in that moment of waking up, I found what a wonderful, rich feeling it is to be grateful to be alive. Just right now, right here.

[15:36]

I don't have to have anything more special than knowing that just to be alive is enough. So Blanche, she continues. So living this life of gratitude has really changed my life. I used to be both quite opinionated and quite ready to criticize anyone who didn't agree with me. No one recognizes themselves in that, right? Now I recognize that my life depends on all the lives around me. We all support each other. None of us could take care of ourselves in a world all alone. We're so completely interwoven and interdependent. This is from a piece in her book called Our Practices to Help People. Each one of us should be a beautiful flower, and each one of us should be Buddha leading people in our practice.

[16:41]

Whatever we do, we are considering how to do this. Since there are no special rules for how to treat things, how to be friendly with others, we keep studying what will help people practice together. If you don't forget this point, you will find out how to treat people, how to treat things and how to treat yourself. This is what we call the Bodhisattva way. Our practice is to help people and to help people we find out how to practice our way in each moment. To stop our thinking and to be free from emotional activity when we sit is not just a matter of concentration. This is to rely completely on ourselves to find absolute refuge in our practice. We are just like a baby who is in the lap of its mother. I think we have a very good spirit in the zendo I practice in. I'm rather amazed at the spirit.

[17:44]

But the next question is how to extend this spirit to your everyday life. You do this by respecting things and respecting each other. Because when we respect things, we will find their true life. When we respect plants, we will find their true life, the power and beauty of flowers. Though love is important, if it is separated from respect and sincerity, it will not work. With big mind and with pure sincerity and respect, love can really be love. There's a piece called Gladdening the Mind. It's a Dharma talk, a longer talk. And she says, I feel humor is extremely helpful in my practice. And I had to read through to find out what she meant, because the example isn't necessarily funny. But what she was talking about is the ability to be amused by

[18:54]

one's shortcomings rather than to condemn oneself. So she says, I find humor is extremely helpful in my practice. That was a real discovery to me. I didn't realize I was making myself miserable with my thinking. It completely escaped my notice until one day When I was at Sishin at Green Gulch, and I was on my way to the Zendo, I passed a pond that is right next to the Zendo. It was early twilight of morning, which is a time that I am very fond of. The mist was rising from the pond, and there was a great blue heron on the shore. It was a beautiful morning, as sometimes happens at Green Gulch. I went into Zendo feeling really, really good. And a little while later, I was feeling really, really bad. And I thought, wait, nothing has happened.

[19:59]

I've just been sitting here. And I've been thinking. I did this all myself. Now, how did I do that? I had been telling myself an old story. I thought, whoa, wait a minute. I don't want to go there anymore. If I did it myself, then I'm going to stop doing it. And as I continued sitting, pretty soon that thought came up again. And I went, I don't want to get on that train. That train takes me to misery. I don't want to go there. He says, so that kind of slight switch of saying, oh, good, I noticed, now I can stop, instead of saying, oh, bad, I'm doing it again, that slight switch is very helpful.

[21:05]

And maybe some of you recognize that as part of your practice. It's become part of mine and Blanche is articulating, but it's a discovery I think that we make for ourselves about how we make difficulty for ourselves and also how we take our feelings so seriously as if they're really true. instead of just being the effluvia of old thoughts. I'm going to read one more. And I think the relevance of this is just unpacks her attitude towards her death. And her death, I think, was, from all reports, was very peaceful, which is Very fortunate, and there's no guarantees that's the way it's going to be for any of us.

[22:13]

But this resembles that earlier piece. How to live if you're going to die. I came to practice because I discovered that I was going to die. Me, personally. I had never considered it before. But then my best friend, who was my age and had kids the age of my kids, had a headache one night when we were together. It was such a bad headache that she went to the doctor the next morning. She was diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. She went into coma and died. Whoosh, maybe a month altogether from the first headache. Well, that could have been me as readily as Pat. Oh my God, I'm going to die. But the next thought was, how do you live if you're going to die? It's been such a gift to me that that question came up.

[23:16]

So I started looking for who could tell me how to live if I know I'm going to die. And I do know I'm going to die. So I'll share with you these five daily reflections from the Upajjahatana Sutra of the Buddha. First, I am of the nature to grow old. There is no way to escape growing old. I am of the nature to have ill health. There is no way to escape having ill health. I am of the nature to die. There is no way to escape death. All that is dear to me and everything I have and everything I love are of the nature to change. There is no way to escape from losing them. My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequence of my actions.

[24:17]

My actions are the ground on which I stand. These five daily reflections seem to be, for me, some clue as to how to live if you know you're going to die. Pay attention to how you live. Pay attention to your actions. Are your actions kind? Are your actions honest? Are your actions supported by the desire to help beings, to benefit beings? Are your actions selfish or generous? How are you living this life? It seems to me what I've discovered over the years is that a number of the teachers that Zen Center seemed to have a theme song, literally. I mean, Reb for years was singing, Row, Row, Row Your Boat. And Steve Stuckey often sang, Relax Your Mind.

[25:22]

Do you have a theme song? Row Your Boat. Oh, that was yours. Which was Reb's? Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. What? Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. That's right. That's right. And Blanche's was This Little Light of Mine. So I thought we could sing it, for which I am prepared. Well, this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.

[26:25]

Hallelujah! This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine everywhere I go. I'm gonna let it shine, well everywhere I go I'm gonna let it shine, everywhere I go I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine I'm not gonna make it shine. I'm just gonna let it shine. I'm not gonna make it shine. I'm just gonna let it shine. I'm not gonna let it shine. I'm just gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. In the darkest night, I'm gonna let it shine.

[27:29]

And in the morning light, I'm gonna let it shine. Not thinking wrong or right, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. Let it shine over the whole wide world. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine over the whole wide world. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine over the whole wide world. I'm gonna let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let's do the chorus once more. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine, this little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine, this little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

[28:35]

Thank you. Applause doesn't work in a dharma talk. I wonder if people would like to share a memory or share a thought. We have a little time. Or any kind of impression. Ross. Thank you for the eulogy for our dear friend. My former wife and I invited Blanche past, I am her age now. The age she was then. Yes, now I'm the age of Blanche, and I think about what is old and what is young.

[29:40]

It's a really mysterious teaching. Thank you. Well, we're of a nature to age. Old and young, I think, is timeless. And that's the thing, the planch could be really young, right up to the end. And so can, we have that ability, and I encourage it. Sue? And then one day it suddenly occurred to her that this was totally ridiculous and that there was no way that she was going to be like Rae Alvarez.

[30:49]

My job too, I'll be me, yay! Not planch. I made that mistake, but I certainly admired her. It was just so helpful and she always had a way to just go right to the heart of things. Yeah. Would you say something? was edited, but she didn't have anything to do with it. So she would quote Suzuki Roshi and then comment, but the editor didn't separate Suzuki Roshi from the comment. So the last two that you wrote were planned. The first one was Suzuki Roshi. It's interesting because this Suzuki Roshi flavor is very strong in this book.

[32:24]

That kind of explains it. Charlie. That brings to mind a Sufi couplet. And it goes deeper and deeper. Mother and I are fusing. That's what most of us experienced. Linda. In 1975, I started showing a draftsuit at Zen Center in San Francisco.

[33:32]

She was a teacher. And not untypical of me, I didn't finish it. I was ambivalent. I had many thoughts about it. And then I took off for India to do some work. And then I just left it behind. Didn't have to think about it. And in the course of causes and conditions, in 1987, I seemed to be ready to finish the Rakasu Sora. And I had an opportunity to, anyway, to get it bestowed upon me in a very lovely way by somebody in India. And I just went to Blanche and she said, oh yeah, 12 years later, here it is. There was my half-finished to complete something which maybe under other circumstances I would never have been able to complete. And I'd like to give credit that I didn't do on Facebook to Amy Dillon who was with Maureen Stewart and where we all met in India in Sarnath.

[34:42]

Got to have this little ceremony, the three of us. And I still didn't have that hard thing done. And Amy finished it for me. Blanche's thing about us all being very, very much tied together. Yeah. That's wonderful. Thank you. Liz? Well, when you said that Blanche had came across, I don't remember, Formidable is what I said, I think. Stern, yeah. Stern, Formidable, whatever. Yeah. It reminded me back in I didn't necessarily say she came across that way. That was my perception. That was my projection. It didn't necessarily have to do with her. Okay. Well, anyway, I thought back to when Blanche and Lou were living in Berkeley. They raised their kids in Berkeley and sitting at the Berkeley's endo in the early 70s.

[35:46]

I don't remember when they left, but in the early 70s, Blanche would always come And she was dressed for work. She was a social worker in the city of Berkeley or something. And she was dressed in her work clothes. And she had a long braid down her back all the way down below her waist. And she would be sitting there. Yeah. By the way, her children and grandchildren, some of the grandchildren were there at the at the ceremony and just. Hi, they were just wonderful. You know they were just really bright. Really able to express their feelings and their thoughts.

[36:50]

I just. I was very happy to be there with them. Couple of them I hadn't met. In conjunction with that, It reminded me of a cartoon. Her children, two girls and two boys, had to deal with her mother. the guru sitting up on the top of the mountain with a little cave behind and the guy climbs up the mountain to see the guru and he looks over the edge and he says, mom, what are you doing? Yeah. you sing to a child at night, just very simple, high voice humming.

[39:03]

And that was a very powerful image of what that song could be as well. Yeah. Well, that's a thing. Songs speak in different ways, you know, that a good song can be expressive of many things. I was thinking of you were talking about Her working in the shop. Could you say something about that? Well, yeah, you know, back in the 80s, I think it was. But we all had different positions. And one of her positions was the shop mechanic, taking care of the vehicles. And we had a woman named Dodge. and needed work, and she rebuilt the transmission all by herself.

[40:12]

She figured it out, you know. I don't think she's ever done that before. Of course not. But she figured out how to do it. I was very impressed. We were all impressed, of course, with your ability to do that. Anyone else before we close? Yeah, Stan. I experience Blanche as very dignified, and I just have one powerful memory of after the beginning of the Iraq War. groups of Buddhists would march together and then we sat together in Civic Center, kind of a circle that we formed, and she was there in sort of the, I don't know, the exemplary presence in some way.

[41:29]

Thank you. Well, it's a pleasure to reminisce and think about our teachers, our friends, and to see how we're moved towards practice by what we recall of them and what we carry of them in us. So may we continue in every way. Thank you.

[42:21]

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