He said, my life is very busy, very busy. And I have to always rush from one thing to another. He said, and the other day I had to do something quickly and my cat was sitting on the chair. So I got very angry at the cat and not angry, but I felt not... I was full of my idea. So I brushed the cat aside in order to do something. So then suddenly I thought, I love this cat. What am I doing? So then I sat down for 10 minutes, being kind to my cat, And then he said, what I do in this moment sets up what I'm going to do in the next moment.

[01:10]

And I thought, well, that's very good understanding. Zen is actually very simple, very straightforward. And the entrance to the Dharma is everywhere. anywhere. People say, after I leave the zendo, I don't know how to practice. But the entrance is everywhere. We say, mumon kan, or the gateless gate, There is no special gate. Someone else said to me, you know, when I read books on Zen, I get very discouraged and wonder if I should actually be practicing or if I actually am practicing.

[02:24]

Because usually when we read books, the writings of the great masters or their stories, we see the most idealized, perfected practice of the ancestors, who are always admonishing us to do something extraordinary. So, when we read Dogen, dug in, is so lofty and so single-minded. And when we compare that to ourselves, we think, is this possible? Can I really do this? If we read the Mahayana Buddhist literature about what a bodhisattva is, Actually, there's no human being who could possibly ever reach this idealized state.

[03:34]

So then, what am I doing? So I say, when someone asks me this kind of question, I feel very sympathetic. But I also realize that Zen practice is not necessarily some idealized state. You know, one of the problems with Zen, and also with any religion, or any profession actually, is there are people who have the opportunity and

[04:56]

for some reason, the ability, the opportunity, and the time is right and the circumstances are right, you're going to do something wholeheartedly and completely. And in Zen practice, you know, the admonition is always to do something completely, wholeheartedly, thoroughly. And so the result of that is to have a few well-developed masters. And then you have a group of elite monks And then you have a split between the elite virtuosos and the common people.

[06:10]

And then Zen, or Buddhism, stops being a religious practice. Because religious practice should be, I say should be, a universal practice. It should be open and available to everyone. Otherwise, it becomes a kind of virtuoso practice for elite who are talented and Actually, Zen practice has to be available to anyone who wants to do it.

[07:20]

And if one really wants to do it, you can do it. no need to be discouraged by the admonitions of the old masters. We should be encouraged by them, not discouraged by them. The old masters are always a great encouragement for us, and we're always keeping them in mind. But what is it that we try to do? Do we try to copy them, or do we become inspired by their example. Most of us are householders and the people, the old masters who are the inspiration are mostly monks. So there's quite a discrepancy there.

[08:22]

And so when you read the writings of the old masters and their admonition, their admonitions are mostly for monks. And they don't include the householder so much. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they do. Often they do. But householder practice is really extremely important. And in America, mostly what we have is householder practice, kind of householder, monk, priest practice. And I myself am a priest. monk householder. It's a very unusual combination.

[09:27]

Maybe only in America. So part of the year I'm a monk when I practice at Tassajara and then I'm a priest when I'm at the Zen Center and I'm a householder with my family. So I experience all three of those kinds of positions. And I think it's good for a priest to practice as a householder. That doesn't mean the priest is not a priest. It means the priest is practicing as a householder. We should have the flexibility to enter any kind of situation and practice in any kind of situation. So I think it's good for a priest to practice as a householder and to understand the problems of householders.

[10:30]

It's easy for a priest to take the position of a celibate monk and then criticize householders. Our practice in America has all of these three aspects somewhere. And we have priests who practice as priests, and monks who practice as monks in the monastery, and householders. And some people are one or the other, and a few people are all three. So when we read the books, it can be very confusing.

[11:43]

That's why it's good to have a teacher and a place to practice and understand the Dharma. Very important. A lot of people want to learn how to do zazen so that they can go home and sometime do zazen, which is fine. And we teach zazen instruction to people And every week we give Zazen instruction to anyone who comes. But eventually it's good for people, after they have Zazen instruction, to practice with people who practice Zazen in order to really develop and understand what a real practice is. It's pretty hard to just have Zazen instruction and then go home and sit a little Zazen. It's good.

[12:44]

I'm not saying that it's bad, but there's no way to develop a real practice that way. Very difficult. So householder's practice in America consists of zazen and daily life activity. And the main thing is not how much zazen you sit, but the quality of your sincerity and how you extend zazen into your daily life.

[13:52]

So there are practices like a coin with two sides. One side is the visible side. You come to the zendo, and it looks like a place to practice, and you see people who practice, and you step into the zendo, and you immediately are absorbed into the atmosphere of the zendo. And the atmosphere of the zendo helps you to practice. and you bow to the cushion, you hold your hands a certain way, you don't speak. So this is all very conducive to how to practice Zen. And you know what that is when you step into it. You step into the zendo, you know this is a place where you practice Zen.

[15:00]

But then when you leave the zendo, You step out into the world, which is the other side of the coin. And there's no atmosphere of Zen. Everybody's doing something different. Everybody's talking, thinking, running around. In the Zen Dojo, everybody's doing exactly the same thing. When you leave the Zen Dojo, everybody's doing something different. That's the other side of the coin. In the Zendo, you know what to do. You bow, you walk with your hands in Shashu, you sit cross-legged, and you chant, and you know these are the Zen things. These are the forms of Zen. Formal Zen. These forms are conducive to Zen practice.

[16:03]

But then when you turn the coin and walk out into the world, practice is to extend your... to make that extension into the world by seeing all the forms Instead of there being a form called practice, you have to see the various forms as forms of practice. Washing the dishes is a form of practice. Driving a car is a form of practice. Talking to somebody is a form of practice. Picking up the telephone is a form of practice. Arguing with your husband is a form of practice. In other words, when you walk out of the zendo, the zendo is extended to wherever you go.

[17:23]

The whole world is a monastery. How do you do that? As soon as you step out, you forget what you're doing. This is normal. I forget what I'm doing. I'm doing all these other forms. So, Zen is not in the place. The Zen is here. The Zen is right here. Buddha Dharma is right here. So, you know, the koan of our life is our practice. Dogen Zenji called it Genjo Koan. The Koan of everyday life. The Koan which is extended from Zazen into everyday life.

[18:31]

This is the Koan that we all practice. It means heaven and earth meet right here. means stillness and movement, right here. So, Dogen says, the heart of Genjo Koan is, as Dogen says, to study Buddhadharma is to study the self. That's the first line. To study Buddhadharma is to study the self. That puts a focus on myself. But that begs the question, what is myself? What am I studying when I study myself?

[19:39]

Do I read books about anthropology? Or, it's okay. But in practice, studying the self means over and over to sit zazen. And over and over to practice zazen as every activity of our life. So back and forth in the zendo and in our daily life. and I do it back and forth, back and forth, until formal practice and informal practice become one thing. Until there's no difference. Because Zen is absorbed through our activity over and over again. You can't think it.

[20:44]

You can't think your way through. You just have to act it. You know, we all have problems. Each one of us grew up in a certain way. And some of us feel that we grew up abused or with certain kinds of problems. And we feel that in order to move ahead, we have to solve all these problems. I think it's good to deal with these problems. But Zen practice is not so much analysis. Zen practice is to do something. Just do. Just take care of this moment, what's in front of us. To just cut through to the fundamental of our life, which is right there.

[22:01]

Sometimes it seems like a big wall, But it's actually just a piece of paper which we can step through like that. So sometimes people say, well, as soon as I figure out these problems, then I'll be able to do something. Then I'll be able to practice. As soon as I get my life straight, That's okay, but when will we ever get our lives straight? When will we ever really straighten out our lives? When will it ever be really right? It has to be right, right now.

[23:06]

Will it ever get any brighter than right now? Who is to blame for the way it is? Nobody. There's nobody to blame for the way it is. I really enjoy Chaplin movies because, you know, Chaplin goes through all these adventures in a movie. And then, in the end, he loses everything. In the end, you know, the girl's gone, and somebody else has her, you know, and he's gone through all this stuff, and he loses the baby, and he loses, you know, anything.

[24:15]

And then he reaches in his pockets and takes his pockets out, and there's nothing there. And then he turns around, and he goes, and he walks off. And you see him walking off into the distance from the back. Just, well, okay, puts his cane on his shoulder and walks off. This is Charlie's Zen. At moment after moment, he owns nothing, he has nothing, and yet he's involved in everything. It's very involved with the circumstances, and yet He has nothing, owns nothing, yet deals with everything that comes his way. He's not apart from things, completely involved in what's going on.

[25:19]

And yet, there's something, he's just willing to let go of things. Whenever it gets to be too much, he just Well, you know, let's go. And then sometimes life will bring him back into the arena, you know, by the scruff of the neck. And so then he'll go through the next episode, but lightly, always lightly. So, Every moment, every activity is an opportunity to practice. I always say to people, the main thing is keep some attention on your breathing. Or put some attention in your feet when you walk.

[26:22]

You know, our heads are spinning. Our heads are always spinning out thoughts about something. And we forget that we're walking, or we forget that we're moving in a certain way. We're always focused on doing something. accomplishing something, which is okay, but we forget how to just be with things. Like my friend with the cat. He had to get someplace, so he ignored the cat, you know, get out of my way. Oh yeah, life is just being as well as doing.

[27:26]

So how do we be with every situation as well as doing in every situation? To forget to study the Self, to study the Buddhadharma is to study the Self. Not so much analytically to study, you know, to be aware. What am I doing? Moment after moment. What am I doing? What is this? What am I really doing? And then he says, and to study the self is to forget the self. To drop the self. How do we forget the self? So it looks a little bit like a contradiction. To study the dharma is to study the self.

[28:33]

And to study the self is to forget the self. And to enter into every activity completely forgetting the self. Forgetting, dropping our ego. Being one with the situation completely. Not trying to dominate the situation or manipulate the situation. But to be the situation, find our place moment by moment with all things. What gets us into trouble mostly is promoting the self. We live in a culture where we are taught to promote the self. But Dogen says, forget the self. And be enlightened by the 10,000 things.

[29:39]

Be confirmed by the 10,000 things. This is to realize that the self is the 10,000 things, not apart from the 10,000 things. So how do we engage the 10,000 things? Practice. Practice, not like practicing the piano, but engagement. Totally engaged in our life without being self-centered. So that's how we practice moment after moment in a busy life. So for a householder, living with families, working in the world, being with people that you don't necessarily want to be with, not being with people who you do want to be with, having circumstances that you don't really want, and not having circumstances

[30:51]

That's the genjo koan. That's the koan of our practice. How do you stay balanced and settled with equanimity and joy on every moment without getting pushed around by like and dislike? good and bad, right and wrong. So I always say to people, keep your attention on your breathing during the day. That's the simplest way to practice. It sounds very simple, but it's not so easy.

[32:10]

And then I'll ask people, where is your breath right now? I ask you, where is your breath right now? I don't know. Maybe here, maybe there. If I ask you, where is your breath, you should be able to say right away where it is. This is how you stay connected with yourself. This is connected to this. Body and mind are harmonized all the time. So that when you meet a situation, you meet it with harmony. And you can harmonize the situation with body and mind. No need to get thrown by things. And if you get upset, which we do, if you get angry, if you get caught up in any one of the 10,000 emotions, feelings, you don't get lost in them.

[33:28]

They don't push you around. Do you feel hurried by the 24 hours? Master Zhou Xu said to a monk, after he was questioned, he said, you are turned by the 24 hours. He said, the difference between you and me is that you are turned by the 24 hours and I turn the 24 hours. So, you know, the 24 hours are the 24 hours We can either be pushed around by them or turn them. It's just a matter of choice. You know, some people have an enormous amount that they do in the world.

[34:39]

and yet they're never harried or pushed around. Some people have no responsibilities, very few responsibilities, only have to take care of themselves, and they're always pushed around, always with a problem, always victimized. So that's why I say, just stay with your breath. Keep your breath down. During the day, well, if you sit Zazen, then you really pay attention to your breath. If you sit Sushin, when you have a really hard time in Sushin, you naturally go to your breath. And so you become very familiar and very intimate with breathing during Sushin. Then when you go out into the world, you carry that

[35:44]

intimacy with you. You don't lose that intimacy with your breath. And then whether you have fear or anxiety or anger or pain, you come back to the breathing, which is very smooth and doesn't get interrupted or disturbed by what's going on. You know, this is called saving all sentient beings. Who are all these sentient beings to be saved? Save yourself. That's how we save all sentient beings. Save yourself. You have one person that you can work on. But what we want to do is work on everybody else.

[36:49]

If they would only stop doing this, if they would only stop doing that, if they would only do this, if they would only do that, this is the one that you have to work on. It's yours. That's your special person that you can work on without interfering. Then, when we have liberation, everyone has liberation. So in Buddhism, rather than trying to change everyone, work on ourself.

[37:56]

And that helps a bit. Without knowing it, when you are working on yourself, practicing in the world, without knowing what the result or effect is, you're influencing the world in a very positive way. It's good not to know what your sphere of influence is, actually. But it's there. So there is an infinite number of ways to practice in the world, and the opportunity is on each moment. Every moment. And if we're really sincere and tuned into our practice, even when it looks like we don't know what practice is, it's there.

[39:08]

Just taking care of things moment by moment. Settling on ourself. It's keeping the mind, the body in harmony with the situation without being self-centered. And remembering. Mindfulness actually is remembering. You can get into a kind of mindfulness which is very detailed, but actually mindfulness basically means coming back to what you're doing, remembering what you're doing. The mind is always wandering, the body is always wandering. We have to keep reigning it in, in order to have good concentration.

[40:18]

So a big factor of practice is remembering that that's what we're doing. Over and over and over and over again. Come to the Zen Dojo in the morning, go to work, sit zazen in the afternoon, over and over and over again. So each person has a different way of practicing. On one side, we all practice in exactly the same way, zendo. And on the other side, every one of us has a different practice, completely. So we have to take care of both sides. In the zendo, We all blend, not blend, but conform, take the form of the zendo.

[41:30]

We become pillars of the zendo, like these posts. And then when we leave, each one of us takes on our individual personality. But it's Zazen. Both sides is Zazen. Both sides is practice. On one side, the forms are very apparent. On the other side, we create the forms through the forms we meet. So how do I practice in this situation? That's the question. How do I save all sentient beings by doing this? That's the Bodhisattva vow to save all sentient beings. From what? Suffering. How do I save all beings from suffering and confusion?

[42:39]

By walking across the street. Well, don't be confused. Don't let pain turn into suffering. Well, in the midst of dealing with life intimately, don't get caught by it. And if you do get caught by it, know that that's what's happening. Pain and suffering are not the same. Pain is something that we can deal with. Suffering is very hard. Suffering is when we don't want the pain. Oh, my life is so painful.

[43:42]

I'm suffering or my life is very painful, but it's okay. This is my life. Just painful. That's all. This is zazen. It's very painful. I've been sitting here for almost an hour. My legs are very painful. Is it just pain or is it suffering? It's up to you. So please, don't compare yourself with anyone else.

[44:46]

Each one of us has our own practice. Don't compare yourself to Dogen or Hakuin or any of the patriarchs. But then you can be encouraged by them. Don't compare yourself to the person sitting next to you. Just do your own practice. Everyone is in a different place. Everyone has their own... Each one of us has our own story and our own difficulties to deal with. So we have to A teacher has to deal with each person one by one, not as if everyone is the same. So, according to our desire and our sincerity, and our wish to practice and penetrate the practice, we do what we do.

[46:06]

Some people have an easy time, some people have a difficult time. And sometimes your practice is easy, sometimes difficult. So, we're all in a different place. And from that place, we practice. No need to feel that you can't do it. Even if you do it a little bit, it's okay. If you really do it sincerely, wholeheartedly, just a little bit, that's good. No? Yeah!

[47:16]

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