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Taking Refuge – Mutual Affinity with the Three Treasures
The talk presents taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha as a devotional practice and a source of grounding amid fear and uncertainty. Drawing on Dōgen’s Shōbōgenzō fascicle “Kie Sanbō,” it emphasizes refuge as reciprocal reliance and “sympathetic communication of the truth,” expressed through communal practice, prostrations, and the bodhisattva precepts; it also links refuge to inclusive, attentive relationships within the Sangha.
Texts and works referenced
- “Kie Sanbō” (“Taking Refuge in the Three Treasures”), Shōbōgenzō — Eihei Dōgen. The central text; its account of taking refuge and “sympathetic communication of the truth” frames the talk’s teaching.
- ** Crooked Cucumber: The Life and Zen Teaching of Shunryu Suzuki — David Chadwick. Provides the account of Suzuki’s early practice of prostrations and the origins of the nine-bow service.
- ** Lotus Sutra, “Devadatta” chapter — author unknown. Its portrayal of Devadatta informs the talk’s emphasis on inclusion and recognizing the Buddha-nature of difficult others.
- Kalama Sutta — author unknown. Cited in support of testing Buddhist teachings through direct personal experience.
- Sixteen Bodhisattva Precepts — traditional Buddhist teaching. The three refuges begin the precepts, which the talk presents as commitments to embody in daily life.
- Suzuki Roshi’s 1966 Dharma talk at Sōkōji — Shunryu Suzuki. Discusses the nine prostrations and the demanding, sustained effort required by Buddhist practice.
- Suzuki Roshi’s 1969 interview with Peter Schneider — Shunryu Suzuki, interviewed by Peter Schneider. Addresses Suzuki’s recollection of adopting nine prostrations at Zen Center.
AI Suggested Title: Taking Refuge Together in Uncertain Times
My life partner, Linda Galli, we're here. So happy to be here. Gosh, it's gone five months. As a visiting, now, visiting teachers. And we're really happy about it. Very, very happy. I just love the Berkeley Zen Center Sangha. What a great, bunch of people. And, uh, wow, who did that day today? I, I didn't expect, uh, on account of the weather. Which, by the way, as, uh, Californian here, uh, yay, rain! Hooray for the rain! And, uh, happy Black History Month. Today's February 1st, so it's the beginning of Black History Month. Uh, I think it's really important to, uh, in honor of certain things that might be in danger of being overlooked or erased in the current climate.
[01:11]
I'll say that. I might say a little more. We'll see. First, next, I was really inspired by Linda Roshi's talk last week. So I kind of follow up on that a little bit. She told me there was something she was trying, doing, but she didn't. I was like, you should have done it. Can I do it? She said, sure. So everybody turn to somebody next to you and say hello. Just greet each other. We usually have to wait until the end of the talk and you go outside and stay silent until the end of the talk.
[02:21]
Apparently, before the fellowship begins. Although, actually, sitting together is fellowship. It's on a very, very deep level. But then there's also the saying hello and, hey, how are you doing? Do you need anything? I was struggling. Are you at peace? Etc. Being good Dharma friends to one another. So yeah, the thing that struck me was that I come back to the temple and I saw two pillars of the temple, Alexander Sinaki, Genpo, and Hashtagra, Sho Ray. We're out front on Russell Street. He said, hey, how are you doing? I said, I'm trying to ride a drone. I'm gathering on my bike. It's very effective.
[03:22]
And I said, I think I want to talk about how many people were here last week, because there was a lot of people here last week. And Linda's talk, I thought, really addressed the present moment. And I think it's not a coincidence that there's a lot of people coming. because I think it could be that things are kind of scary right now for a lot of people, okay? I'll just say that. I feel that a lot. You know, when some commercial enterprise shoots a rocket up in the air and it blows up, They call that rapid disassembly, right? You familiar with that one? Yeah. Rapid disassembly. It seems to be what's happening to the government of the United States right now.
[04:24]
And it's not funny. It's scary. And people are going to get hurt. People are going to die. So I'll just say that. I don't want to make this a political talk. But what happened? What happens? what do people turn to? So, community, you know, and a big part of community, what really, one of the most important things for civil society is churches and temples, you know, you turn to that. In Buddhism, we call that taking refuge. So I felt like, People taking refuge in Sangha. So that's what I want to talk about this morning, taking refuge. Taking refuge in the Triple Treasure is actually pan-Buddhist.
[05:30]
Every school of Buddhism talks about Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. It's the most basic thing along with like four normal truths. It is in every school of Buddhism. Very, very important. Taking refuge in the three treasures. Our great benevolent founder, A. A. Dogen, lived in the early 13th century and founded this This school, the Soto Zen School of Buddhism in Japan, he wrote, of course he did, an essay for his life work, the most important thing that he put his energy into, the Shogo Genso, the Treasury of the True Dharma, I. And this last school is called Kiei Santo, Taking Refuge in the Three Treasures.
[06:38]
It's actually, he didn't finish it. So it's something he worked on very close to the end of his life. And I've heard that actually when he became very ill and could no longer stay in the monastery, he founded in Ecce's and Problems, the A.H.G. He went to Kyoto and stayed with a benefactor there, back in Kyoto, and that he put Kulikura in the form of Buddha Dharma Sangha and attached it to a pillar like that and circumambulated the pillar. However, I can't find anything to verify that. It's just something I heard, repeat, so I don't know if that's, if it's... You know, what do they call that?
[07:39]
Hagiography, made up stuff. I have no idea, but it is beautiful to think of. So I can understand why it became a story with the energy he had left in his body, just circumambulating, taking refuge in the three treasures. Anyway, this is a... Buddha Nishijima and Chodo Cross's translation of Kie Sampo. A couple of passages. Clearly, in the western heavens and the eastern heavens, what the Buddhist ancestors have authentically transmitted is reverence for Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. If we do not take refuge in them, we do not revere them. And if we do not revere them, we cannot take refuge in them. we accomplish the merit of this taking rest of dharma and sangha whenever sympathetic communication of the truth takes place.
[08:46]
Whether we are in the heavens above, the human world, hell, or states of demons and animals, if sympathetic communication of the truth occurs, we fail." So what Nishijima and Cross have translated here as sympathetic communication of the truth is a very very interesting and um teaching in soto zen uh in japanese is kakano doko four characters kano doko and something one of the things for me that makes it's such a juicy teaching is there are so many different for this expression how so many different understandings of what this means you know mystical communion influence and response mystic communication sympathetic resonance
[10:02]
There's more. There's a lot more. I didn't write them down. It's been likened to how the moon in the sky makes the tides go up and down. That's something that people in ancient times, they're like, what's that? The moon isn't reaching down and pulling on the water, and the water isn't reaching up and pulling on the moon, but somehow makes the tides go up and down. and mysterious. So yeah, this communication of the truth is not up here, you know. It's in here. Something that happens behind the breastbone. When he talks, I feel like should remind people that Buddhism is a world religion.
[11:06]
It is absolutely a religion, you know. It's not a theistic religion. So instead of theism, we take refuge in the Triple Treasure. It starts there. One goes on. Because Buddha is our great teacher, we take refuge in them. Because Dharma is good medicine, we take refuge in it. Because Sangha are excellent friends, We take refuge in them. Someone asks, for what reason do we take refuge solely in these three? Because these three kinds of treasure are ultimate places of refuge and they can cause living beings to get free from birth and death and to experience the great state of Bodhi. Therefore, we take refuge in them. These three kinds of treasure, in conclusion, are of unthinkable merit. Beautiful. Yeah.
[12:09]
So for me, this is a devotional practice. It is a devotional thing. And I don't want to talk this morning about how I understand Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, except to say, this is just the greatest Sangha. I'll say that much. What a wonderful Sangha. Because these are things that you can explore for a lifetime. How do you understand Buddha? How do you understand Dharma? How do you understand Sangha? So I don't want to get into that too much. You know, it's something to definitely study or talk about with the teachers in a one-on-one practice discussion or dokasan. Very good topic for discussion. In the fascicle, Dogen writes out how we take refuge in this tradition as part of our ordination ceremony, whether it's lay ordination or priest ordination.
[13:34]
and take refuge in the three treasures three times. And that seems to be also possibly pan-Buddhist. Because you might know when we do sesshin here, you know, concentration for days of sitting at the end of the day, We take refuge. And very often, we chant the refuges in Pali. So, yeah, sort of emphasizes how ancient and venerable this practice is in Pali, being the language that the Buddhist teachings were first written down in, before Sanskrit, Pali. So the old school Theravon school, you know, they use Pali words a lot. So, for example, they don't say Dharma, they say Dhamma.
[14:39]
Buddha and Sangha are the same in Sanskrit and Pali, but in the word Dharma in Pali is Dhamma, no R. And we chant. Udham Saranam Gachami Dhamam Saranam Gachami Sangha foreign foreign I didn't expect that to happen.
[16:14]
That was beautiful. You know, in Tazahara, that's the last thing, after the last prayer before we go to bed, and it's a lullaby. I think of it as a lullaby, the last three at night. And so, it's three times three, you know. To Chiang Pi, for a second time. Ta Chiang Pi, for a third time. I go to Raja, and Sangha. And, um, Sadanam is an interesting word. Sadanam, I discovered it means to return and rely upon. I really like that. You know, why were there so many people last Saturday? Because people were returning and relying upon this. place this Sangha as a refuge, as a place of safety, as a place where we're with people and to get grounded.
[17:25]
Look at each other and say, hey, you're okay. Don't worry, I got you. Yeah, not to be too traumatic, but that's what I think. in the ordination ceremony on other occasions it's more like I take refuge in Buddha I take refuge in Dharma I take refuge in Sangha I take refuge in Buddha I take refuge in Dharma as the perfect teaching I take refuge in Sangha as the perfect life now I have completely taken refuge in Buddha. Now, I have completely taken refuge in Dharma. Now, I have completely taken refuge in... There's a version of that in the Dogen Fasakola, and in our ordination service. One time, Sojan Roshi, I can't remember the occasion, but it's probably Chikai or something, and it's going,
[18:39]
Now I have completely taken refuge in Buddha. It is done. Now I have completely taken refuge in Dharma. It is done. Now I have completely taken refuge in Sambha. It is done. I like that version. So sometimes I do that one and sometimes I do the other one. What am I talking about? Sometimes when? This morning we did nine prostrations. So that's my personal practice that I share with you this morning. When we're doing the nine prostrations, rather than that, I take refuge in Buddha. You get the picture. So, three times three, taking refuge. I repeat this to myself, you know, silently as we're bowing together, as a santa, bowing together. And that's how I always know if the dawn is on the bell too many times. On the 10th frustration, I went, and one to grow on.
[19:46]
Sometimes it's 11. Very rarely eight. Interesting. Yeah, that's rare. 10 is pretty common. So, probably don't recall. feels like a million years ago. But we had Linda and I hadn't been here very long when we went to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for a biannual conference of the Soto Zen Buddhist Association. All our Dharma brothers and sisters in North American Soto Zen. Anyway, many of them. It's really a wonderful, joyous occasion. And long before we knew that we'd be coming to Brookly Zen Center, they said, can you be enos, co-eno, me, Linda, for the conference?
[20:56]
And we're like, sure, that'd be fun. And then later on, but it was fun. It was all right, but it was fun. And in the conference, we had occasion to have three morning services. We wanted to highlight what other temples are doing. I mean, you know, have examples of services, you know, what's service like in your temple. It so happened that none of them were in Suzuki-Roshi lineage. None of the three were in Suzuki-Roshi lineage. And we didn't start with nine vows, any of them. We started with three vows, which is typical. That's basically what they do in Japan. There's three vows. Japanese word for it. It'll come to me. Sanpai. Sanpai. Sanpai? Sanpai, yeah. Number three. Yeah, three frustrations. Thank you. And so, yeah, I was asking people.
[21:59]
No, that's interesting. No, we don't do that. That's your thing. Oh, which, you know, we go to Houston Zen Center, we do my vows. Austin Zen Center, we do my vows. Yeah, so it's pretty common. I got curious about that. I've heard this standard story where apparently some student, when Susu Biroshi was starting in the U.S., said, how can we do these three vows? And beginning the service on Susu Biroshi said, You can do nine miles. That's how the story goes. That's the way I heard it. But I was curious about that. What really happened? So I emailed Suzuki Roshi's biographer, David Chadwick, who wrote his wonderful book, Crooked Cucumber, a biography of Suzuki Roshi. I highly recommend it. And what really happened here?
[23:03]
Reverend David responded with a quote from Crooked Cucumber, which I probably could have done. But, yeah, I want to read it to you. When Shinryu arrived at Zoumi, there were eight boys studying with Soong, Gyokujin and Soong. After the first year, there were only four, and midway through the second year, they too had gone. Soong was not just hard on Shinryu. One by one, the boys had been driven away by his imperious manner and the privations they had to endure with him. Now, there was just Shunyu and so on. He had a lot of responsibility for a 14-year-old. There was schoolwork, cooking, cleaning, memorial services and homes, assisting with ceremonies at the temple, and serving and so on, and his guests. Shunyu was lonely without his friends, but he was getting lots of personal attention. That often didn't work out the way. For instance, he had some resistance to making full bows, down on the knees with forehead descending to touch the bowing cloth and hands extended, palms up.
[24:11]
Soong noticed Shunmui's resistance and told him that from that day, instead of bowing three times to Buddha in the services, they bowing three times. So, goes way back apparently to his childhood. You know, Suzuki Roshi has said more than once, I think, that his teacher, Gilchrist and so on, bowed so many times he had a callous on his forehead from prostrating him. That's pretty cool. Reverend Chadwick also shared this quote from an interview that the late Peter Schneider, was that Peter Schneider? We recently did a memorial service for him. away in Northridge, California. Peter interviewed Suzuki Roshi in 1969. Peter, how did they react when you had them begin to chant in Japanese?
[25:14]
Suzuki, I don't know. I was always doing the same thing anyway. They came. Vowing three times, not nine times. I don't remember when I changed from three vows to nine. You must have felt some reason for changing. Suzuki, I thought, you want more practice than we Japanese want. That is what I said. Bao is very good practice. And after sitting, we feel very good. Yeah. So true. And then what I found on my own was from a drama talk that Suzuki Roshi gave in old Sokoji time. Goshi Laguna, San Francisco in 1966. He says, a while ago when we had Visak's service with all the Buddhists in the First Unitarian Church, Visak being another pan-Buddhist thing.
[26:17]
A lot of in Southeast Asian Buddhism is one holiday that celebrates Buddhist birth, Buddhist enlightenment, and Buddhist prana nirvana. In our tradition, there are three different occasions. But Rizak is sort of all-inclusive. And obviously, this was a pan-Buddhist event at the First Unitarian Church. I thought it might be better to bow in the way we usually do at Zen Center. But someone said, if we bow in that way, people may be discouraged. It is true, very true. I know people will be discouraged. I know we are causing a lot of discouragement for American people when we bow nine times. I know that very well. So I bow nine times here in America. Buddhism needs our continual effort eternally. Until you are interested in this point, you cannot understand Buddhism. Whoa! Interesting statement. It wasn't always candy with Suzuki Roshi, you know?
[27:23]
One time I asked my teacher, Sozio Roshi, What is Buddhism asking of me? And he said, oh, everything. He knew I was all in. Taking refuge. Taking refuge in the three treasures is the beginning of the 16 bodhisattva precepts. Very important. The 16 bodhisattva precepts actually start with three refuges, and then there's the three pure precepts, and the ten. So it's right in there, you know, in our bones. The 16 Bodhisattva Precepts. And some of you may have noticed the beautiful calligraphy done by Hoesu Suzuki Roshi, Suzuki Roshi's son. Nice calligraphy. It says, Namukie Butsu, Namukie Ho, Namukie So.
[28:30]
I take refuge in Buddha, I take refuge in Dharma, I take refuge in Sangha. And that calligraphy is hanging next to the closet, sewing stuff. And Jeanne Salkirk, our sewing teacher, starts the sewing class, you know, that closet that's gorgeous, all the stuff for the sewing, and then we get sewing, and this is a really favorite practice of mine, lifelong practice. I love sewing. We say namu kye bucu. Namu kye bucu. That's more like that. Namu kye bucu. Namu kye bucu. Namu kye bucu. Subvocally, you know. To the point where it's just like running as a subroutine. This is the constant namu kye bucu. Taking records with every stitch. Kye is a very interesting word. I once had a lot of Japanese monks, when they come to the U.S., you know, come from Japan, so naturally they're on the West Coast, as often, often, and so many of them are like, I want to learn Tazahara.
[29:49]
They've all heard of Tazahara. So I can't even remember who this guy was, but I asked him about that word. He's like, oh yeah. He did like that. What does kyei mean? He just goes like that. Blanche Hartman used to say, to plunge into Buddha, to plunge into refuge. It has that meaning. And I think the needle going into the fabric, that goes together for me. Again, devotional practice, very much so. very much a devotional practice and you know so we're going to be starting up summit again some people have asked to receive the precepts recently and so there's going to be some announcements sent out on the listserv
[30:59]
about this, probably something posted on the community bulletin board over there in the courtyard. But I just thought that, you know, I'll bring it up now because it kind of goes along with what I'm talking about. So, yeah, this will be happening. This is a very robust sangha and people want to take refuge. So this is happening. And if any of you here, or friends who are not here, or anybody who's online, hello, Zoom people, have interest in this and have been practicing for a while, they should talk to their teacher or a teacher about doing this training. I'm referring specifically which is a Japanese word meaning receiving the precepts and everyone you see here wearing a blue rakasu has done this ceremony and received the precepts from their teacher a teacher and it's a beautiful thing and so I just wanted to say that this is happening this will be happening and you can talk to
[32:29]
of our teachers here who uh receive initiation and authorization to confer the and those people would be lori sanaki jerry oliva peter overton riusan andrea thatch dave regman carol paul hannah mira linda calia It's nine people. There's still a lot of sports, team sports in American vernacular. Do you understand? I think it's called a deep bench. Yeah. Yeah. If that is something you're interested in, you can talk to a teacher that he feels some sympathetic resonance with and we can make this happen because it's a very important thing and it will be happening so on that note i think i'm done i think i said everything i want to say really thank you for your patience and thank you for being
[33:59]
Yeah, we've got a little time for questions, and Susan can keep me honest, make sure we don't go over... We've got 40 minutes. 20 minutes? What? Okay. Questions or comments or hello, Max. Show ready. Good morning, Greg. Good morning. Thank you for your talk and also just for the lightness of your bearing this morning. When you were talking about safety, one question that came to my mind is, how do we support each other in Sangha when maybe some Sangha members aren't feeling safe in Sangha? Or the ways we can kind of bump into each other and how do we... that is safe and that allows for dumping into each other, that's still comfortable for people.
[35:06]
That's it. That's it, isn't it? Yeah. And thank you, because I meant to say that this is, I feel, one of the very best ways that we can honor our late abbot Hozan Roshi. because this was so important to him. This was definitely Hozan's Dharma. He wanted a community to practice harmoniously and include all kinds of differences. All kinds of differences. And acknowledge all of us do our best to What people used to say about Suzuki Roshi a lot was, I felt like he could see the Buddha in me when I couldn't see it myself.
[36:11]
So I think it's incumbent upon all of us. Don't be too. But to try, to try, you know, to sarana, return and rely upon. seeing the Buddha in each person. Because it's there, you know, the prerequisite for being a bodhisattva is birth in a human body. That's why I look around me, I see humans, all bodhisattvas in training. That's, yeah, that's how I see it. So, I don't think I'm directly addressing your question. The big how, but maybe a little bit, you know, I just, even with someone who's very difficult for you, and there will be, there will always be such person, you know, it's why
[37:32]
Devadatta is probably my favorite chapter of the Lotus Sutra. You know, Devadatta, Buddha's cousin, he tried to kill him. And in the Lotus Sutra, they have the Buddha saying, if it worked for my good cousin, Devadatta, none of this would even be happening. And I just think that's such radical teaching. about inclusivity, you know. We, I state Ms. Craig, I don't want to other anybody. It's tall. It's a tall order a lot of the time. I feel like, you know, coming to Berkeley Zen Center and being with, you know, taking refuge in Sangha as excellent friends, right?
[38:36]
It's easier. And we need that. We can do this here and it helps our capacity to do it for others under circumstances that are not so friendly and supportive. How's that? Okay, I saw Alan first and then Marlee. Hello, good morning. I just wanted to remind you that last year somebody invited me to be their teacher. And I could not deliver the ceremony, actually, but they worked very closely with Housan. And he, and I talked about this as a, okay thing to do here. So I just wanted to let people know that they could also, I think, look at somebody who's a lay and trusted teacher if they also work together with a counselor.
[39:49]
Thank you very much. That's such an important point. I really appreciate that. And I can't even name all the lay and trusted teachers. three in the room right in front of me right now, Susan and Ross. So yeah, that's definitely a thing. For example, I am so humbled to have been asked by Marley to give her the precepts. And Marley has been studying with a late transmitted teacher for some time, studying the precepts. So I told Karen that I was definitely going to be working with her. I asked her, can we do this together? She was like, yeah, we're pretty excited to be doing that together. So thank you. Thank you for that. Lee. Well, thanks for putting me on the spot.
[40:54]
Sorry. No, we're fine. But I really appreciated this talk. I think you've talked so much about how important refuge is in this practice we do around here, in Buddhism in general, and the Three Jewels. I guess what I'd love to hear more from what you got today is What makes them not trustworthy around English? Yeah. We do. Oh my gosh. So I saw Dean first and then Rich.
[41:55]
And then, I'm sorry, I'm getting there. During Zazen, I sit facing out, I look around. Okay, whose name do I not know? During Zazen this morning, it was only two people, so it's getting better. Morning, Dean. Hi. I'm sitting here feeling like I need an ice cream right now. Yes. I'd like to... say a few things about the precepts. Because they have been especially significant for me in the last, you know, month. And the precepts are not something that we necessarily do. They're something that we live. And the precepts to me, they are
[42:56]
The guideline for me is how to live with this human person that I am. You know, there's all the different precepts, the three and then the this, and then on and on. We get them to have this cool sewing, which I love, and I love my Rakisu. and I'm thrilled that I haven't lost it permanently yet. But what these precepts do for me is all these things, we talk a lot about the suffering, fear and the worry and the concern, all these things that are happening. What the precepts do for me, they give me a place to take all of that and to repeat them over and over and to find they've guided me to find that place where there is no separation there is no uttering and to just have them in my mind and my body all is what is
[44:23]
guiding me to live them. And I will forever, as long as I'm alive, will need to have that guidance to live them. I will fall back to unsuffering. Learn, oh, I don't really have to suffer. I have to be in the precepts. So I just wanted to remind everybody that it's really something that we We make a part of our body, mind and spirit and it becomes a light that flows through us constantly. Thank you. Thank you. That is beautiful. It makes me think of a nice bit of calligraphy that Suzuki Roshi did for his student, Sojin, over there in the office next door. Sojourn Roshi like to say, get it in your bones.
[45:24]
You get it in your bones. It's not up here. It's not something written down on a piece of paper. I mean, it is, but if it's only that, the presage aren't going to help you so much. Yes, Rich. what does it look like to take refuge? Like what is that to plunge? And I wonder if taking refuge, we don't talk about faith very much, but it seems like maybe it's a, maybe you could just say something like, what does it look like to take refuge? I like talking about faith. And Soto Roshi, he said, faith type. Dogen was a faith type. I'm a faith type. You know, it is very important to him and I said several times in this morning's talk, you know, I'm talking about devotional practice.
[46:35]
You know, devotional means of the vow. We take these vows and I hope we take them seriously. And like Dean said, you know, just over and over again, getting them in our bones, prostrating. I take refuge in Buddha. I take refuge over and over and over again. It is... It's kind of great to have something in my life that I can just give my whole heart to and not hold back. I really need that.
[47:38]
I think it's probably what brought me to this and what kept me coming around. returning and relying upon over and over and over again. Everybody, we don't proselytize in Soto Zen. We don't say, hey, you come do this practice. You're really going to like it. You might not like it. What if you don't like it? You might get mad at me. But it's been working for me. Yeah, I just, looking at Sojan, you know, as they say in the 12-step work, what he's got, I want, whatever he's doing, so I did my best.
[48:43]
What it looks like, For you, Rich, is exactly what it looks like for you. I can't tell anybody else what their experience is. So this is an important point in Buddhism. The Kalama Sutta, the Buddha really emphasizes, you get to find out for yourself. Or as we say in Zen, it's like drinking water and knowing for yourself whether it's hot or cold. I can talk really loud. So I want to say thank you, Greg, for who you are and how you share it with us in the world of such exuberance and deep honesty and good humor. So thank you all. Thank you.
[49:51]
The thing I wanted to mention and maybe get some feedback is what I think we're aware of sitting here today is the interplay between sort of exquisite fear that can grab my attention and not always in ways that I can understand very well, and then the refuges, which I'm so glad you talk about, which means the whole deal. And then I somehow realized that maybe I don't need to make the fear a bad thing. Maybe at its heart it also has in me a heart of love and it's there not always for bad stuff. For the first time helped me see that maybe I can embrace my fear as a deep, good, part of my child heart.
[50:54]
And the other thing I might want to say, because you mentioned about rakasu, so you're kind of getting . My rakasu has been lost for two years. How long? Two years. Oh my god. And in all that time, I felt a lot more removed from my practice, and I didn't realize I had anything to do with that. And I did kind of let my practice get removed. I found it. And I found it in the most obvious place where it always was, where I'm sure I've worked hundreds of times. I spent hundreds of dollars looking for my magazine. And I even thought that maybe I left it at City Center and I talked to them about it so they all know this girl. My most special bookcase in my living room. right above the books where obviously I would put it and I'm going to put it again. In a high place. This is the first time I've been able to wear it. Yay! Carol said, who did you study with?
[51:55]
And I could say Linda Ruth. And so I feel like this has brought me back to my mind. There's no words to express how that feels. So thank you. Thank you, Annette. My gosh, you made me get a little misty there. Oof. Okay. You're holding that thing up. More question? Yeah. Great. Hello. Hello. Thank you for your call. And I wanted to ask you, I guess, coming back to one of the first things you said about and then also about and I was just reflecting on how here at BBC for a couple of years we did the many communities, one Samba program, many of us, not all, but many.
[52:59]
I just was thinking about how important that and other reflections on inclusion of all kinds feeling my blind spots. Places where I, I shortened myself. I wasn't even aware that I was hard. But it's a bit heritage that I buried from the society I've been. And I was just wondering if you had any thoughts about how to hold that I think it's completely, well for me it's already folded in. There's nothing outside of practice. There's nothing outside of the . So you can't say, oh I'm doing this Buddhist thing over here and I'm doing this diversity work over there.
[54:10]
Well, I mean, of course you can say that. But I wouldn't say that. For me, it is all the peace and, again, really, really puts me in mind of Ozan Roshi because I'm sure he would say the same. This was his dharma as well. I think a beautiful way to honor his legacy is to continue this work, mindful and aware, forever. So thank you so much for saying that.
[54:55]
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