You can lead us in the opening gatha now. Thank you, Aras. I vow to taste the truth of the Tathagata's words. Good morning. Not yet. A Zen-shin Greg Fane got his first introduction to San Francisco Zen Center when he was just 19 years old and trained closely with Sojin Roshi, the abbot here at Berkeley Zen Center for over 20 years. He was ordained as a Zen priest in 2002 and received Dharma transmission in the lineage of Suzuki Roshi in April 2012.

[01:10]

Happy anniversary. 20 years, my man. Thank you so much. All the way from Tassajara Zen Mountain Center. Great faith. Thank you, Ross. Good morning, everyone. It's so nice to see so many familiar faces. I'm not very used to giving talks on Zoom. But yeah, I'm broadcasting to you live from the Kaisando, the Founders Hall at Tassahara, Zen Mountain Center. You see Suzuki Roshi's portrait behind me on the altar there. I have already offered incense. And... Yeah. There's a few things I'd like to talk about this morning. And with the thing I always do, every talk I ever give, which is to say, I'd like to thank and acknowledge my teacher, Sojin Mel Weitzman Roshi, the old Buddha of the East Bay.

[02:27]

And that feels especially poignant because I'm aware that this is the first Saturday talk since the funeral at Green Gulch Farm last weekend. Thank you. And to say this talk is just to encourage you in your practice. Those are the two things I always say at the beginning of every talk. I'd like to thank Ross for inviting me. And I would especially like to thank Abbott Hozan, Alan Sanaki, for his mentorship. And yeah, just in recent times, been practicing closely with me and very, very helpful. Although I don't know a lot of you, I feel a deep, deep, connection and kinship to my home temple, Berkeley Zen Center.

[03:35]

I first came to Berkeley Zen Center in the beginning of 1996 and where I met my bride. It's where I did Jukai, lay ordination. It's where I was ordained as a priest in 2002. It's where I married Linda in 2005. Pretty significant milestones. And I even lived there before I came to Tassajara in 2000. I lived in the temple for about a year. So I have a big, big heart connection to Berkeley Zen Center.

[04:40]

In the funeral last weekend, it was amazing to me. I knew almost everybody in the Zen doll from Berkeley Zen Center, from San Francisco Zen Center, from the wider Sangha. It was an amazing experience. coming together. And I was so humbled. Linda and I were able to be in the process. It was a pretty big deal. Yeah, and we had to wait a long time to do the funeral on account of the pandemic. There's been a lot of deferred Delayed grief. Recently, I feel. Specific and generalized. As you may have heard.

[05:47]

We're not having a guest season in Tassajara right now. I think there's 17 people here right now. 18 maybe. Someone comes, somebody goes, someone's on vacation. I think the count is hovering right around 17 or 18 people right now. Just enough to keep this place going. You know, keep the lights on, doing some maintenance and taking care of the grounds. But it certainly feels empty without the guests from my point of view. However, you know, we barely got started. The first person to catch COVID was somebody working in the stone office. So that was kind of a big deal. Also, it was pretty stretched thin. And we became aware it was just not going to be sustainable.

[06:50]

So here we are, nonetheless. Practice goes on. Nonetheless, I'm happy to report. You know, we have a nice schedule now for the people who are here. And we continue to go up on the Engawa, the Zendo, and Hittahan. Call the people to the Zendo. That's happening. You know, the practice continues at Tassahara. So, I thought... I would tell a couple of stories. A lot of Zen practice and the entire history of Zen and the culture, if you will, of Zen is all based around this incredible significance of stories of our family way.

[07:54]

You could say koans. Some are understood specifically as koans because, I don't know, they're in a koan collection. Otherwise, I don't know if they rate as koans or not, but there are ways that get shared over and over again that exemplify and illuminate our teaching and practice in a kind of warm-hearted and very often funny way. So I chose a couple that might be accepted. I'm in Tassajara and I'm in the Kaisando and there's just a few mucus flies in here, just a few. I think I just saw one on camera. Yeah, that hopefully for me illustrate kind of how I understand Sojan Roshi's Dharma, which is a big thing to say.

[08:57]

But in a small way, put it that way, in a small way, just a little bit. And then, you know, probably finish and leave lots of time for questions. Because Ross said that he was going to put my email address in the chat in case we ran out of time for questions. could email me with their questions in case we didn't get to them. And I'm okay with that. However, I'm very bad at email. I get a lot of email, and I was a little scared when Ross said that, to be honest. But I'm up for it. I would say that. When I first started practicing with... Sojin Roshi with Berkley Zen Center in 96, I was caught immediately.

[10:03]

Yeah. Much immediately. First impressions of Berkley Zen Center, I noticed there was a little piece of paper next to the entrance to the Zen Dome, like a calendar with spaces and a pencil. If you wanted to have dokuzan, with Mel, you just took and wrote your name on the piece of paper. And if you couldn't make it, there was an eraser and you could erase your name. So if somebody else erased their name, you could put your name in there. And then Mel would look at the calendar. He said, oh, that's who I'm talking to. So straightforward and so accessible. There's no... I mean, there's formality, but it's not like I had to... seek out a jisha or something like that. Just put your name on the calendar. So I did. And I was pretty much caught from my first dokasan when I came back.

[11:07]

After a long hiatus. And I was working in various different healthcare settings at this time in the 90s. And originally, when I first started coming to Berkeley Zen Center, I was living in East Oakland and working in Fremont, managing food service in a skilled nursing facility. And I had very funny hours. So sometimes, I could even come to Zazen on my way to work. I could come to morning Zazen and be dressed for work and get on BART and get to work on time. And because I was the manager, I got to set my own hours. So I, my gosh, I don't know if it was my second or third Tokusan with Sojan Roshi.

[12:21]

It was pretty early on. And I came to Zazen. I had an appointment for Dokusan because I put my name on the calendar. And I came in the Dokusan room dressed for work, which was, you know, I was wearing a suit jacket. And inside the left breast pocket of the suit jacket, I had a stuck this little foam right-sized human heart that i got from the director of nursing in my workplace you know they use these like little models i'd be surprised your heart is no bigger than this this is a life-size it's kind of squishy foam uh i had that stuck in my suit jacket and i said to sojan roshi uh There's something I want to give you.

[13:24]

And I went. And he took it. And he said, I'll just put this over here. To the side and the room. And then he said, that came out pretty easily. And I said, yes, yes, it did. That's my story. This thing was in the dokuzan room for a long, long time. Years, actually. I know this because I just took it back. Hozan Roshi was like, take it. So now it's back. It's on my altar. And I put a little Band-Aid on it. Anyway. It was a couple of years later, I did Jukai with Sojin Roshi, a karma named Zenshin, which means whole heart.

[14:31]

Yeah. Linda and I were so fortunate to go and in New Orleans. Earlier in May, early May, we took almost two weeks. The not two weeks, but it was a week bracketed by weekends because they have weekend program. So we did. The first of which was a Jukai. We gave the precepts to several people at Mid-City Zen. This is a peer led Sangha in the Mid-City neighborhood of New Orleans. which is actually a wonderful little sangha. There's also a Zen center of New Orleans in a different lineage that I know nothing about. But I love the sangha at Mid-City Zen. It's our third time we've been there.

[15:35]

And it was really wonderful. And in addition to giving talks and the Jukai, Linda and I taught a class on the Fukanzazengi. The... Zazen instructions that A. A. Dogen wrote down at the age of 27 when he first came back to Japan from his trip to China. And the Phukansazengi is really rich. Has allusions to and references so many different things. if you were to make a list of it, you might be surprised. Dogen was like that. He had the whole... his fingertips, you know. So, there's a story that I'm pretty sure Dogen must have been really fond of because it's, for one thing, it's referenced in the Fukanzazengi twice.

[16:45]

And... It shows up in Shobo Genzo, the Treasury of the True Dharma Eye, in a few places. So, the Phukhan Zazangi starts out, the way, anyway, the version that we chant in San Francisco's Zen Center in Tazahara, it starts out, the way is all-pervading. How could it be contingent upon practice and realization? How could it be contingent upon practice and realization? Yeah, so this is a reference to the story of a famous meeting between the old Buddha of China, Huynang, the sixth ancestor. Soja Roshi, of course, had a deep affinity for Huynang and the Platform Sutra.

[17:47]

And people called him the Chinese Buddha. So this is an exchange between Huynang and his student Nanyue. Nangaku Eijo in Japanese. You'll find his name. Your Ketchum Yaku, if you have one of those, if you've done lay ordination or priest ordination, you receive the blood vein, the lineage document. And because... Dogen received transmission in the Rinzai and Soto lineages, you'll find Nangakuejo on your, because it splits and goes together, splits at Huenang. Both lineages comes together with Dogen. So this is from Shobogenzo Henzam, an all-inclusive study in my trusty copy of Moon in the Dewdrop, well-used. When Zen teacher Da Hui of Nanyue first went to meet Hui Nung, the old Buddha of Cao Shi, the old Buddha said, what is it that thus comes?

[19:02]

Da Hui all included that lump of mud for eight years and then presented this move to the ancient Buddha. Okay, I'll stop now. So... That's a pretty heavy thing to happen. Your first dokusan, I'm glad that Sojan Roshi didn't do that to me. I don't know what Huinang thought. You know, the new student you never met before comes in the room. What is it that thus comes? You know, thus comes tatata. That's the epithet of the Buddha, right? The tatagata, thus come one. That's kind of heavy to me. Whoa. So, you know, he's like, OK, probably does his bows, you know, splits eight years, eight years. He doesn't come back. Poor guy.

[20:06]

But. Don't doubt he was practicing and studying thoroughly. Like it says, all-inclusive study is the title of this fascicle. Dahwe all-inclusively studied that lump of mud and then presented this move to the ancient Buddha. This move is a reference to the game of Go, by the way, as a fun fact. Place your tile on the Go board. He presented this move to the ancient Buddha. I understand now. When I first came here, eight years ago, when I first came here, you instructed me that thus comes. Then the ancient Buddha of Sausha said, what do you understand? Dahwe said, speaking about it won't hit the mark. This is the actualization of all-inclusive study, the realization of eight years, says Dogen. Sausha said, does it rest?

[21:11]

on practice and realization? Or some translations would say, does it depend on practice and realization? Fukanzazengi translation says, contingent upon practice and realization. Dahwe says, not that there is no practice and no realization. It is just that they cannot be defiled or they cannot be separated. Then Sausha said, I am like this, you are like this, and all the Buddha ancestors in India are also like this. So, it's not that there's no practice and realization. It's just that they can't be defiled. They can't be separated. It isn't one than the other. They arise together. is kind of crucial, crucial to Ehe Dogen's Buddha Dharma, the non-separation of practice and awakening.

[22:24]

It's one event. Suzuki Roshi, Mel, all the ancestors of India and China, in fact. So this comes up over and over again in Shobhagenzo, in everything Dogen had to say about all of this. He frequently wrote it as one word, practice enlightenment, one word. There's a vintage T-shirt from Carolina. Chapel Hill Zen Center. With the back of the T-shirt, it says practice enlightenment as one word. P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E-N-L-I-G-T-E-N-M-E-N-T. Practice enlightenment. One word. It's a one event.

[23:30]

When you practice, there is awakening. So, I felt this always in Sojin Roshi and continue to feel that. My, our, I dare say our practice relationship with Sojin Roshi continues unabated. There's a former teacher at Berkeley Zen Center. Plenty of people I saw in the funeral last weekend will remember Maylee Scott. And when we lost Maylee, it's over 20 years ago. I started having a recurring dream about her.

[24:34]

I'm not going to bore you with the details of my dream, but I had the same dream several times. It's a recurring dream. And it was both kind of encouraging and disturbing to me. So naturally, I talked to Sojan Roshi about it. And he was very interested. And he was quiet for a long time. And then he said to me, well, you know, in Japan, they don't see death and corruption. in the teacher-student relationship. That had a big impact on me and I still feel that way. Towards the end of Fukaza Zengi, Dogen said that this realization is naturally undefiled. That's the second reference to that exchange. Going forward in practice is a matter of everydayness.

[25:40]

And that really, really also makes me think of Sojan Roshi's way. So second Zen story. Oh, my gosh. Probably two is too many. This is a trusty copy of the Mulan Khan actual collection of koans. This is a wonderful Chancellor Aiken from our good old Tassahara library. Case 19. This is an exchange between Jiaojo, very, very famous teacher, Joshu in Japanese. His name, he is in more koans and more koan collections than any other teacher, actually. This is an exchange between Zhaozhou and his teacher, Nanquan, when Zhaozhou was a very young monk.

[26:44]

And, yeah, similar to the... Zhaozhou asked Nanquan, what is the way? Nanquan said... Ordinary mind is the way. Zhao Zhou asked, should I try to direct myself toward it? Good question. Diligent monk. Nanjuan said, if you try to direct yourself, you betray your own practice. Interesting translation. It's been translated other ways. I think, basically, if you go toward it, If you go in that direction, you're going the other direction. But Aiken Roshi has it. If you try to direct yourself, you betray your own practice. If you go towards it, you're going to miss it. Zhao Zhou says, how can I know the way if I don't direct myself?

[27:53]

That's a great question. Antoine said, the way is not subject to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion. Not knowing is dullness, stupefaction. If you truly reach the genuine Tao, you will find it as vast and boundless as outer space. How can this be discussed at the level of affirmation and negation? With these words, That sudden realization. I love it when they end that way. And with that, he was greatly awakened. They all lived happily ever after. Yeah. It can't be discussed in knowing or not knowing. It's not that there's no realization. It just can't be separated. So you can't direct yourself towards it.

[28:56]

What do you do? Actually, Aiken Roshi, who did this translation, famously said, it's an accident, but you can make yourself accident prone. I would say, wherever you show up, however you show up, there is practice. That's what I got from Sojin Roshi. Just show up, you know. And I was starting in Berkeley Zen Center. I did a sashim. And we finished the sashim on a Sunday. And I came back Monday morning for a zazen. That's one of the biggest smiles I ever saw from Sojin Roshi, actually. He's like, oh, here you are.

[29:59]

I said, well, yeah. That's great. Just continue. You show up. You show up for the practice and you show up for your community. As I've heard him say so many times, just take very good care of whatever's in front of you. She's practiced. Show up. Take very good care of whatever's in front of you. Be it a person, an apple pie, a puppy, a flat tire. Just show up. Take very good care of whatever's in front of you. So I spoke about all the unprocessed grief.

[31:21]

Here in Tassajara, we've had this instances of COVID. A few whereby, you know, we occasionally Students have had the quarantine. Not many, thank goodness. And we would like up our precautions and protocols. So we have been quite a few times actually where we just stopped doing chanting services for obvious reasons. And then when we resumed chanting services, I know there's this backlog. of memorial services again. It kind of hit me that way. And we're living through pretty scary times.

[32:31]

Supreme Court just struck down Roe versus Wade. It was not unexpected, as everyone say, but the impact is profound. And if you're surprised that I'm talking about this from the Dharma see, well, I think about for a few years in the early 90s in portland oregon and i was kind of flirting with getting back into practice actually i went to dharma rain zone center a few times um when i was living up in portland and actually really fond of um late great teacher kilken carlson roshi and one time he was giving a talk there was this um pretty hateful ballot measure on the election on the ballot discriminating against gay and lesbian population setting up some legal discriminations and it was pretty terrible and

[34:06]

Kyogen spoke about it. He said, well, I am a political person. I have politics. I don't talk about them much. But when it comes to a case of human rights, which this is, then I feel that it's completely consistent with my bodhisattva values. I feel the same way. So, all this stuff of You know, when you meet the Tao, it's as vast as outer space. What's that got to do with it? Actually, I think it has plenty to do with it. Plenty. See, I just took a deep breath. I was just aware of that. Just noticed I took a deep breath. This is what

[35:06]

Zen training has taught me to do. Stay connected with my breath. Stay in the body. Sodrum Roshi used to say, don't let anything knock you off your seat. Practice of dhanaparamita, the perfection of giving, Classically in Buddhism, they say the monk, the practitioner has three gifts. That's why I'm holding up three fingers. Three gifts they typically give. Material aid, clothing, medicine, shelter. The Dharma, the teaching. And the third gift is non-fear. Bodhisattvas give the gift of non-fear. And we are all... Everyone in this Zoom room. Everyone in this little square room.

[36:10]

I know. We are all bodhisattvas in training. And it's actually our duty. Our responsibility. I dare say. Big words. But that's how I feel about it. To give the gift of non-fear. Buddha's cousin. Devadatta. Tried to kill the Buddha more than once. Famously got this man-killing elephant. Nalagiri was the elephant's name. Got him good and drunk and released him in the street aimed right at the Buddha. The Buddha was coming from the other direction. And this mad, drunken elephant is charging straight at him. He's going to kill him. And the Buddha just gives it. You can't see my other hand.

[37:12]

The mudra, abhyaya, which you've seen in many statues of the Buddha. Abhyaya mudra, non-fear. And the elephant comes to a dead stop, goes down on his knees, and starts brushing the Buddha's rug. Aw, so sweet. This is the gift. that we have to offer. Stabilizing body and mind. This is the fruit of the practice. This is the meaning of the non-separation of practice and realization. One minute of zazen is one minute of Buddha, they say. This is always accessible to you. Your breath is always accessible to you. Checking in, stabilizing body and mind, being ready to meet Whatever comes. Scary times. Giving the gift of non-fear.

[38:15]

So that's my talk. I think that's all I got to say this morning. Thanks for listening. And I did leave some time for if there are any. Thank you very much. Thanks so much, Greg. I'll take over, Greg. Thanks for sharing with us this morning. Please be patient with us as this is our first time trying hybrid format with a remote speaker. So I will be trying to keep an eye on the online participants who raise their digital hands and anyone in the Zendome. who wants to raise their physical hands and ask a question. And I will call on you. We have a question, Joe.

[39:32]

Mary. Thank you, Greg, for being here. Would you be willing to say something about your ongoing relationship with your teacher, Mel? Well, sure. Greg, I'm just going to repeat the question for everyone. They didn't hear it. Mary asked. Mary asked if Greg would be willing to share something about his ongoing relationship with his teacher. Yes, of course. I think about Sojourner Roshi all the time. I'm not kidding. I miss him every day. His inspiration, his example, how he exemplified and above all embodied the practice in everything he did.

[40:53]

Just actually the way he just would touch things. handle things, be with people. His mirror has been enough, more than enough, so abundant to sustain me in my practice all this time. You know, I, of course, left berkeley zen center in the spring of 2000 and came to tasahara and i've been at tasahara for a long time i was uh also in city center in the aughts for about four years but otherwise exclusively at tasahara

[42:01]

And people would ask me, you know, well, how is that? You're here, you're teaching Berkeley. How is that for you? You know, we didn't have Zoom then. I'm old. Well, we didn't have Zoom back then. I couldn't see him. And yeah, I got asked that question more than once. The answer is that I see Mel everywhere I go. in Tassahara. I think I can also say I see Mel everywhere I go, period. Oh, I have some tell, actually, since you mentioned it. And we're in the Kaisan, though. Up here on the altar. We have these various memorial tablets. For our deceased abbots.

[43:13]

Not only Suzuki Roshi. And we recently. Were gifted one. By our Dharma sisters. Jakku and Shinshu. Who lead the Ocean Gate Zen Center. in Capitola, California, which, if you haven't been, I highly recommend. They're so pretty. It's not Berkeley, you know. But it's pretty nice. They need more time. No, it's a really nice space. And they got these e-hives, called in Japanese, a memorial tablet. from Japan. And they got Gengo Akiva Roshi's help with the calligraphy. And this is an ehi that they gave us to put on the auto in Tassahara.

[44:30]

It's for Sojun Roshi. I can't read the calligraphy. However, I can't tell you that at the top, there's two lines here. That mean that really to signify that he was the abbot of and the abbot of San Francisco Zen Center. That's the meaning of that. So a felt presence. Always. The relationship continues unabated. We have a question online from EG, if that's the right pronunciation, sorry about that. Go ahead and speak. Thank you, that would be E-J-I.

[45:33]

E-J-I, go ahead. Thank you, thank you. Thank you very much for your presentation. Yeah, that's correct. Wow. Yeah, very good. Say more? I've chosen EJI because that was such an important reality that I needed to identify and be mindful of my ancestors. And so I would not get fullness. And this is an extremely important way for me to identify who I really am and who my people are. And what has happened in the past, I'm deeply, deeply saddened that I do live in a culture where this reaction is not the, I guess, the lamentations, if you will, or the recognition of the truth of the history is not there.

[46:41]

And so it's important for me to remember the truth of the history because it's very easy for me to forget living in this culture. I am currently experiencing the juxtaposition of Juneteenth and the 4th of July. What a fascinating juxtaposition. And so as a person who had the opportunity to practice up in Lake County, and having been here and practice, I'm trying to figure out where I am at this point. But the Equal Justice Initiative is a recognition, is a museum of the lynching, the many, many, many, many lynchings of African-American men throughout the history, people.

[47:45]

And of course, that's the whole thing. George Floyd also. So how does one, and I was going to ask a question about the New Orleans sangha, because I studied Xavier there in New Orleans, but there was just freshness about that particular sangha that you might, there might be something there. But yeah, so the Equal Justice Initiative is critical because it It simply calls attention and mindfulness to the historical reality of what Black people have experienced in this country. And how is it that a person who lives in Oakland, down the street from the Berkeley Zen Center, how is it that I can be who I am and also practice in this environment?

[48:47]

I'm wondering if New Orleans found some way, has some connection with that reality. So thank you for taking my question. Thank you. Well, yes, actually, like I said, that particular sangha, Mid-City Zen, is a peer-led sangha. Our host in New Orleans, his name is John Voss, and he's very connected with the history of social justice. In New Orleans, he could tell you everything about it. We crossed the train tracks and point down the tracks. You say, just down there was the train station. Plessy versus Ferguson began. We tried to get on the train. Wow, amazing. We passed through New Orleans twice. Last fall, Linda and I took a three-month sabbatical. And yet we didn't participate in the fall practice period at Tassajara.

[49:53]

Instead, we went on a very long road trip, mostly to Texas, various places in Texas, mostly Houston Zen Center, with which we've had a practice relationship many years. We often refer to Houston Zen Center as our other sangha. But being that it was a road trip, that we drove our own vehicle there, It was very much on my mind and a long-awaited thing to side road trip. Once we'd been in Houston for a while, we went to Montgomery. So we actually passed through New Orleans twice. And on the way back, we did more teaching. But our destination was Montgomery to go to the Legacy Museum and the Memorial. Dear friend of mine gave me really good advice. Don't try to do both in the same day.

[50:56]

I can definitely echo that if you can. It's worth a trip to Montgomery. It's worth flying to Montgomery. Go to the Legacy Museum. We spent five hours in the museum and it wasn't enough. And then we went to the memorial the next day. A life-changing experience. And now I get an email from EJI every day, which any of you can, sign up for it, and you'll be on their calendar. On this day in the history of racial injustice, an email every day with a story. Some of them are pretty hard to take in, but this As the museum's name says, this is our legacy. Some people are trying to, like, turn against it.

[51:57]

Ignore it. Go the other thing, you know. Oh, CRT, CRT. You know, we can't have that. You know, we can't teach this whole history. Huh? No? Oh. We must. We must. We cannot turn away. I feel so strongly about that. Yeah. I think, you know, I mentioned Roe v. Wade because that's very much on people's minds right now, but a lot of things are coming to a head, I feel. And I think it behooves us anyway as a starting point. Just Stabilized body and mind. How are you going to meet. That drunken elephant. You know. That's so critical. There's a book.

[52:59]

Linda and I just read. Resmaud Menekum's new book. Called The Quaking of America. I highly recommend it. I highly recommend this book. Quaking. The Quaking of America. And. You know, Resmaa Menakem is a somatic therapist. And most of the book, like his other book, it's full of exercises. Very Zen. It's all body practice. How are you going to stabilize body and mind? How are you going to meet what's coming? And there's plenty coming. I feel that so strongly, you know. Like John Lewis said, let's get into trouble. Buddhists can do that. First, stabilize body and mind. I saw Randy.

[54:07]

Yeah, thank you, AJI. Randy, you put your hand down, but do you still have a question? Yes, I do. Hi, Greg. So, Greg, thank you for your talk. My question is, I'm wondering, Sojin Roshi apparently picked up a huge rock from Tassajara for his memorial. And I wondered. Hi, Charlie. I see Charlie, too. Hi, Randy. Yeah, that rock, what about that, huh? Well, yeah. That's the rock. Okay, it's still sitting in the driveway of the Berkeley Zen Center. And as Greg tries to figure out how to move it, what I wondered about was, did Sojin Rashi have anything you...

[55:14]

in particular that he shared with you about why he chose that particular stone and your experience. Yeah. Thank you. That was really meaningful to me. Maybe not as meaningful as searching for Meili's memorial. For Maley's Memorial, which is also a stone from... We went all over the place together. I mean, how fun was that? Be with my teacher. We looked upstream. We looked downstream. We went up Cabarga Creek. Finally, in the creek bed in Cabarga Creek, like adjacent to guest parking down there in the creek, he found it. He's like, this is it. But it was a long time. I had so much fun doing that with him. As far as, I'm really sorry.

[56:18]

That rocket's so big. I'm so sorry. It was quite an adventure driving it in the truck. Believe me, taking it over. I was keenly aware of the weight of it behind me in the truck. Oh, my gosh. What an adventure. But, yeah, Sojin and I were walking to the bathhouse. And we were talking about that. And I was like, do you have in mind some particular rock? And we kept walking. And he says, well, actually. And then he stops and he points. He says, it's that one right there. It was so cute. He was kind of sheepish, you know, like blushing. It was kind of like a little shy.

[57:29]

Yeah, I would say that. He was a little bit shy, but very clear. There was no mistaking which rock he was pointing at. That's it. That's how I knew. Thanks, Rondi. Thank you. Hozan has a question. Hi, Greg. Hozan Roshi. So to go back to your story about Joshu, so he had this great awakening when he was young in practice. And then he didn't leave the monastery until he was 60. His teacher told him not to teach for 20 years.

[58:31]

So what was he doing all that time? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say he was practicing really hard. You said jokingly, he had this awakening happily ever after, but there's more to it, right? Right, of course. Awakening is wonderful. And it's not what it's about. This right here in the Zoom room, this is also an awakening experience. I have Ed Herzog.

[59:36]

Ed, if you'd like to unmute and go ahead. Oh, I wasn't done. Don't go ahead. I was trying to dredge up the appropriate Dogen quote. I got it. It's from the opening sentences of Shobha Ganso Gyoji, which means continuous practice. This directly relates to what Hozan is talking about. Dogen says, between aspiration, practice, enlightenment, and nirvana, there's not a moment's gap. continuous practice forms the circle of the way. So my answer is Zhaozhou was in the circle of the way from start to finish. Thank you, Hozan. Ready for the next one, Greg? Sure. All right. We have Ed Herzog. Go ahead. Hello.

[60:41]

Hi, I thank you for bringing up fear. How do you practice with your fear? Yeah. So I have this kind of tired, cliched Zazen instruction in five words that a lot of people around here have heard than they care to. My Zazen instruction in five words is stay present for whatever arises. So when fear is what is arising, it's classic, you know, in our bodies. We want to go freeze, fawn, annihilate, you know, some response like, I'm not okay, I'm not safe. It's very natural. The word courage is from the heart, you know, in French, la coeur is the heart.

[61:53]

Courage means heartfulness. Can you stay in your heart? Can you stay in your body? Courage, as Zen teacher Linda Galleon has said, The absence of fear is being present with your fear. Stabilizing body and mind in the presence of the fear. And this, as I mentioned, Bresma Manikin's book before, much what this book is about. Very much. I think it's so critical. So thanks for asking. Thanks, Ed. That's probably where we will stop the question for today. So, Greg, if you want to go ahead and chant the four vows with us.

[62:55]

Okay. Beings are numberless. I vow to awaken with them. Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to become it. Thank you very much, everybody. Now what happens? Unmute and wave a lot. That happens sometimes in Zoom meetings.

[63:57]

I believe there may be announcements. Yeah, go ahead, Marybeth. Okay. 10 Bartholomew will give a way-seeking mind talk. This coming Friday at 5.45 p.m., Havaglik Landis will give a Wayseeking Mind talk. Next Saturday, Hozan will deliver the lecture. The Young East Bay Zen, a group for young, virtually on Thursday nights at 6.30 and some Saturdays. For details, contact Yoni Ackerman. His email will be in the chat in the Recurring Activities link. For more information about our online programs, please visit berkeleyzencenter.org. For a list of links and emails to current and recurring programs, please check the chat. To make a donation to support BZC, please visit our website and go to the generosity tab.

[65:02]

If you've been attending for a while and are interested in learning about membership options, Check the links for recurring activities for contacting membership. Those of you who are in the Zendo, please maintain silence until you are off the Zendo porch. Then feel free to greet and socialize with each other. Please keep your mask on until you are outside the gate. For those online, you may now unmute yourself and greet one another. Thank you, Greg. Thank you, Greg. Thank you, Greg. Greetings, Sandra. The pleasure is mine. Thank you. So good to see everyone. Good to see you, Greg. Good to see you. Thank you. Good to see everyone. Bye, Charlie. Take care. Bye-bye.

[66:04]

Have a good week. Bye. Stay safe. Goodbye. Bye bye.

[66:10]

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