Even in a hundred thousand million kalpas, having it to see and listen to, to remember and accept, I vow to taste the truth of that, to talk to those words. Good morning. Can you all hear me? And how about the folks online? Okay, thank you. So there's about four different talks going around in my head, and I'm really glad to be here. My name is Sue Ogier, and my new Dharma name is Ju-en So-etsu, which is round pearl, ancestral joy.

[01:02]

And it is penetrating me. And it's holding me together for this talk. I want to know who's new here. I'd like to welcome you. If you are, could you raise your hand? Hi. Doshin, and you don't have to say your name, but welcome. We can maybe meet afterwards. at the T. This is really wonderful to see you. I don't feel the need to say anything, except I'm very happy to see you all. So my friend Carol Paul gave me this book of Zen poems, and I will eventually start with that. But as all Zen speakers seem to do, is you get ready to get ready on your talk. So I'm doing that. Last Saturday was an amazing experience where my teacher, Ryushin Andrea Thatch, with the approval of our abbot, Linda Roshi.

[02:18]

Hi. gave me lay entrustment as a teacher. And something like that seems to change me. It seemed I've opened a door to joy. I hope it stays open. We'll work on it. I want to talk about interconnectedness, just the deep, constant new awareness of it. And I'm going to just settle myself or maybe others with this brief poem. So would you please put your attention on your breath in and your...

[03:26]

Breath out, we're a body and breath practice. And those of you who just had Zazen instruction, learn that and find a, you know, a place that you can sit fairly comfortably and take a breath in and out. An autumn evening in the hills. This is by Wei Wang. Wang Wei, sorry. Through empty hills, new washed by rain. As dusk descends, the autumn comes. Bright moonlight falls through the pines. Clear springs flow over stones. The bamboos rustle as girls return from washing. Lotus flowers stir as a fishing boat casts off. Faded the fragrance of spring, yet

[04:26]

Friend, there is enough to keep you here. Keep you here. Here. Okay. So I just want to say that the ceremony last Saturday was incredibly intertwined with so many people in this community, my friends and my family. And the week before the ceremony, which was an hour in here, and then a reception, was an opportunity for me to connect with ancestors in a way that I hadn't before and benefit from it. They still hold me. in their hands. And what other lay entrusted people, this is what the green rakasu indicates that we're lay entrusted, means is that they, one or two of them each day, accompanied me on an offering to each altar around the grounds

[05:56]

and a chant, well, a boughs, boughs before the altar, and then leaving and entering the zendo. And, you know, we often suffer with our mental formations, right, our ruminations, and we're suffering with that, and we come here to end suffering. And that is one of the things that really works for me. And I'm very grateful that I got to chant, you know, five pages of ancestors and bow to many of them here while my lay and twisted friends sounded the bell and had chanted with me. When we talk about interconnectedness, you know, sometimes we're aware of it. But the interconnectedness is very pragmatic too.

[07:00]

We help each other. You know, somebody built this endo. Many people built this endo. Somebody made the tatami mats. We don't make the cars. I mean, it's sort of pragmatic stuff. Here, people gather and... are trained to cook food for breakfast or lunch and clean up. And we work together, and that interconnects us, body and mind, deeply in the way. So anyway, this was an amazing effort. And I just showed up, and there were people to help and support me. And I want to talk about our rhythm of practice in our life. You know, briefly, things caught my mind for the last few weeks that I was thinking about what I wanted to say.

[08:05]

And I guess it's talking about sort of practical stuff, time management. What Sojin might call the rhythm, our first abbot, our founder, Sojin Wang, Mel Weitzman. Sojin wrote an article in 2013 called Rhythm of Practice. And I think that applies to each day that we have. What is your rhythm of practice? Can you dig down for an intention? Can you access joy? What is it that will support you? Healthy. What's your healthy habits? And he said, establishing... a rhythm for our sitting practice is essential. But I think for everything we do, exercise, rest, friends, but he focused, and this practice is a focus on sitting meditation, he said we need the right pace of practice, not too fast, not too slow.

[09:17]

If the runner goes too fast, he gets tired too soon. If she doesn't have enough momentum, her energy leaks out and is not renewed. I think this applies to our lives inside and outside the gate. And I'm going to get real practical. Visualize your calendar. I have to do this. I really have had a habit of distraction in my life and this helps me. concrete, physical. I have paper calendars, and I understand that many people are able to use online calendars, which I don't know how you even hit the little keys to get the right... So a Zen student might check Berkeley Zen Center's annual calendar on the website or on the courtyard shelf. You know, we encourage a regular practice. What is it you can do in your own schedule?

[10:19]

Can you start to practice, you know, one morning a week? Can you do a daily practice of 15 minutes at home of zazen? Can you come back and meet with a practice leader, which I'm one of them, and there's a list on the website, and you can contact us. We'd love it. We'd love to talk about Zaza in practice. How's it going? What are you learning? Can we share something? Maybe a cup of tea. So it's like we're connecting. And what I want to say to you and to myself, remind myself, I think Hozan quoted someone. It was maybe Woody Allen, maybe someone else who said, showing up is maybe... I don't know if you said 80% or 90%. Showing up is 90% of life. And I see that as true.

[11:22]

You come here, you get up, and you do it. And after a while, the I don't want news and the whiny baby stuff may disappear. Maybe not, but you do it anyway. Okay. Thank you. hit a nerve there, right? I don't want... No, I really... I won't share this story. It's too personal. My relatives were all here for this ceremony last week, and they were coming and going and staying with me, and it was... I think family is probably the biggest cauldron of practice. Anyway... It was great. Do you ever ask the question in the midst of something, who the hell am I?

[12:24]

No memory of any intention about the ethical precepts whatsoever. My predatory instincts come out. I need a sangha, you know. We have to have practice with people who are... more stable sometimes than we are. So practice here, put it on your calendar, show up. Vast schedule in this place. And if you show up, we are delighted and you can help out. And you don't have to. You know, people have their own rhythm of practice where I'm just going to sit and I don't have to have anybody talk to me. I started like that. Don't bother me. And that's fine. And then I just decided I needed to wash dishes. I don't know, people are more, a lot of people are more focused on how can I help.

[13:33]

And I became that way. It's wonderful to work in community if you haven't. You might be too shy. Nobody has to talk. It's a lot of silent work. So we can talk. You can talk to me about that or anybody in the community with one of these things or of whatever color or the priest robes. And how can I help? It's really wonderful. I expanded so much because of that You fit it together with your life, your health, your energy, your family, your work. There's no difference between in here and outside after a while. You take everything in and out of the gate. And we water the seeds of persistence and interconnectedness. We show up, show up to our lives.

[14:37]

So I don't think I want to share this story, even though it's really good, about interconnectedness. What... How are we doing on time? Okay. What we do impacts each other. And this is a simple story. When I was going to the altars last week, week before Saturday, rather... What I noticed when I entered the Dopassan hut, and the first day with my friends Jake and Leslie, he unlocked the door, and I entered, and I was just... It's a little hut on the far corner of the lot where we have practice discussion or discussion with priests, Dopassan. And I never spent much time in there.

[15:44]

actually. And I entered, and the power of the fresh flowers and the clean water in the offering bowl was something hit me that I almost couldn't stand. It was just moved, and I went, you know, I did my bowing, and I thought the person who was the Chidan, the person who cared for the altar there, It was like the gift to me. And I remember when Soja and Mel would go to the altar here, and I used to be one of the people who cheated or cared for the altar, and I recommend that to people. You know, the placement of everything just hits me. So thank you for the people who cheated.

[16:46]

It's so interconnected. I may not see them, but that, know you make a difference. The people who plan the meals, cook the meals. It's a profound gratitude. I carry it Maybe that's been my tendency to do that at home, you know, go pick up debris along the street, say hi to my neighbors. You know, you relate. It may not be aware of the vast waste of our society and the carelessness of people in buying and getting rid of their stuff, but... It's all interconnectedness, like it or not.

[17:47]

We impact each other. We impact each other where we put our attention and our time and our money. It all is interconnected. You know, many of us donate time and money to organizations. It's part of our... It isn't... like, oh, we suddenly realize it's part of our ethical practice, but it is. Help the environment or organizations involved with ending poverty, promoting health and social justice. Some people do it personally, some people do it and do it with donations, politically. We also practice generosity, a really important thing to promote our to promote our lives for, you know, showing up with all of that.

[18:53]

So it's a balance of what we can do, what we're called upon to do. Balance. It's all balance. Can't do everything. How do you balance your life? So I want to, I guess that maybe the new people who come in might be impressed or those who are used to being here might be impressed with the space, the aesthetics, the physical balance, the harmony. Just amazing gifts we give to each other. Somebody orders. toilet paper. You know, the bathrooms are stocked. Somebody has to order their supplies. People make sure that things are done.

[19:53]

And when they're not done, as I noticed over the offering and bowing and chanting last week, you know, the flowers started to fade. The offering bowl started to get scummy water. It happens. It's okay. It's okay. They show up where we can. One of the ways to show up, maybe that's the name, showing up to your life. How about that? One of the ways that we show up is through something called oryoki. Are there people here who've never heard of oryoki, the formal meal that we have in the temple? Yeah, great, Chris. Yeah, good. That's all fine. And maybe a little bit.

[20:55]

Terrific. So I am enjoying teaching oryoki, the meal, and Karen and I are glad to teach people how to do that. This month, we don't have the early program where you show up at 6 a.m. and sit Sazen, and then you sit a shorter period of Sazen, and then there's service and breakfast. And, you know, people can participate how they wish, but it's really, really wonderful. And I'm going to lay out my Oreoki set on this meal board. I'm not sure what that'll do to the recording or how that'll work. Is that going to work to do that? People may not be able to see it on future, like, you know, if they go on the site, but I'm just going to show it and invite people to come participate in our meal practice. No, I think we can move this, and I'll just put it right here.

[21:57]

Oh, maybe we can move that over then. That's such an idea. You bet. This is great. So wonderful to have help. Maybe I should have someone move in with me. Do you want to move that in front there? Do you want this whole thing? Yeah, but I don't think they'd help. I'd end up picking up after them from personal experience. Thank you very much. Okay, so this is our meal board, and you might have learned in... your introduction here, that we try not to put our feet on this or put a cushion under, you know, if you're going to sit on it. It's okay. So I just want to lay it out. And it's, to me, a joy. And some people are terrified of Oriyuki.

[22:59]

But I think part of the game is to make mistakes. And you enjoy the mistake. You know, after a while, what do you think, Karen? Don't you start... appreciating them a light attitude yeah so it's a silent meal and I will lay it out in silence and I invite you to either pay attention or not or perhaps put your attention back on your posture and breath and we'll just roll with this That's it.

[25:35]

That's laid out. And a lot of other things happening, including chanting and serving food and then cleaning up. And it's a flow. And I don't think most of us, myself, in particular, have something better to put our attention on. It can stop the chatter. And that's probably true for everything we put our body and intention on. So I invite you to come to Saturday program. The month of August does not have that early start, but after this. Again, scheduling your life. So, thank you.

[28:03]

And I will say that there are two books that I've depended on since, well, this one from the early days. It's Half a Grain of Rice. It's Recipes from the Berkeley Sands Community because we have a whole background of people preparing meals. And some of them are in here. Some of them you might enjoy. Some of them you might get to cook. And this is a fairly new booklet, and I noticed that Orioki is misspelled. I got to help Hozon with the editing, but not the cover. Shoot, you know? I mean, see, and the stakes are wonderful. They really are. Humbling, but good. So this has a long history before it came into production.

[29:09]

We sell it at the book table, and this is a public service announcement for five bucks. You know, we have guest walls for people who come, and we do a little pre-service... Training, Karen and I can do it. Other people can do it. Just a little intro where you use napkins instead of claws. And, you know, it's... To me, it's playtime. But, you know, you'll have your own experience, which you can tell me about. And what's our time, Gary? Oh, 10 minutes. Thank you. Perfect. 10 minutes. So we can just, I will stop here. My otherwise things are not going to happen. So thank you for being here. And Gary, yes, you can tell me if you'd like to make a comment or ask a question.

[30:15]

And Sharae will get his feeling back in his feet and help move their feet. Excuse me. And bring the microphone. And remember, it's... What are we calling it? A hot dog, not an ice cream cone? Yeah. Okay. Hot dog. Hot dog. I love this thing. This works. Is this working for people online too? This microphone? You okay? Okay. Sue, thank you so much for your talk. Um... Suzuki Roshi, I'm paraphrasing, said, we're constantly falling out of balance and back into balance. Can you say something about that? I think it's true. And I think Sojun once said, you know, even when you take a step, you're falling out of balance and coming back into balance.

[31:21]

So every step is a fall. At my age... Yeah, I've taken some falls. The other day I fell in the garage. Oh, Gary. I caught a lip and really bruised my right side. Yeah. It's feeling better now, so no sympathy. That's okay. No, but... No, no, I wouldn't dare give you sympathy. No, I do, but I fell... the morning of the lay entrustment ceremony, I just stepped on my own feet in the kitchen. And so these ribs just, I mean, I landed on my butt. And it hurts. And we have to pay attention. And then our plans go out the window when that happens sometimes. And I wish you all... freedom from falling, but if you do, there are classes on learning how to fall, which I've taken a little bit of, but didn't remember any of it in the moment.

[32:22]

Yeah. Thank you. There's a questioner online. Let's take the questioner online, and then we'll go to Mike. Okay, thank you. Go ahead. Good morning, Sue. Thanks so much for your talk. and your teaching. Wait a minute. Hi, Charlie. Thank you. I want to ask you to say a few words about gabassia. Thank you. Well, it is a salted toasted sesame seed in a little bowl, and I love it. And you probably know more about it than I do. Yes, it's very dangerous. You don't want to knock it over and put it on the floor. So not only do you have three bowls and three utensils, but you also have gamasio to figure into the meal, yes, the military order of all of these objects.

[33:40]

Wow, Charlie, it's so good to hear from you. Well, no extra charge. I think there's a photo of you at a table in this book eating the meal. Where? I want one of those. They're five bucks. Okay. Okay. I can't find it now, but I recently saw one. Oh, well. Sorry, I may have misspoke. I saw you in something, some photo. Anyway, this is really serious. The mic is next. Thanks. Thanks, Charlie. Can you use the mic? Because people online cannot hear. And it's a hot dog, not an ice cream. OK. There you go. It's going to sound weird to you, but everybody can hear you then.

[34:43]

It's nice to see you up there. Thank you. I have such great memories of your manifestation of warmth to my children when they were little. They're grown now. While you were showing the Orioki set, I could not help but think about a family dog licking... Hostess Twinkie Wrappers, and Pac-Man Eating Ghosts. And I thought, is this delusion or enlightenment? And then I saw how you picked up on the misspelling on the cover of the book. Is that awareness, delusion, or enlightenment? Yes. Did you answer my question? Yes. Is there a special book in the library I can use to decode your answer?

[35:43]

Don't worry about it. I'm looking forward to lunch. Thank you. Hi, Sue. Hi, Ross. I've gotten older and my gait is not so steady, so I've tripped and falled and stumbled. But I'm thinking actually that Suzuki Rishi was talking about the stumbles that we take or the balance in our mind. Could you say a little bit about how we fall out of balance in our minds and how we return or find our balance again in order to carry on with our upright practice? Don't spill the gamasio. this right here now, Ross.

[36:46]

So what's out of balance? Nothing. There's no work to do? No. That's one side. Yes. And the other side? Always work to do. Always. Thank you. Let me go to Magisha first and then Nathaniel, okay? And then we have how many minutes? I never want to stop. Stop at 11.10. I know we do, but I don't know. Oh, we did. Okay. 11.10. I don't know, Gary, what do you want? I'll take it under advisement.

[37:56]

Jeff. I have two perhaps nested questions, or related questions. I will be, in September, stepping into the head server role. Cool. Everybody come just to see him do that. Very related to eating. And a line in the meal chants, I'm not even sure if we do it here, but in places I've heard, may we all realize the emptiness of the three wheels, giver, receiver, and gift. I was wondering if you could speak to that. There's no separation. And it becomes clearer and clearer in my life. What a wonderful question. Everybody's was a wonderful question. I just want to show no preference here. But I really like that one. I don't know what happened to me.

[39:03]

All those Buddhas I'm chanting have some impact. don't you find that that receive you know some people have a hard time receiving a gift I had to learn to shut up and receive it like when somebody you know and then real and then some my awareness of that has enlarged and partly I think that chant helps that there's no separation we're giving a gift and that gift is part of the entire universe. Everything is in balance that way. Let go of a lot of opinionating, right? I think my first husband divorced me because I didn't like his anniversary gift.

[40:05]

What was it? It was a Cuisinart and I couldn't figure out how to use it or even get it back in the box. I'm sorry. This is something that is such a wonderful thing to think about. The blade of grass is the gift. That is a gift. Thank you. You're welcome. Show? Oh, it was Jeremiah and then maybe a show. All right. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for your talk, Sue. And I just want to just take a little moment, just express a little gratitude to you for... You know, when I first showed up, I was a little confused with the lack of talking.

[41:10]

You know, I was kind of like, do people talk to each other here? And, I mean, the lack of social... When I first showed up, you know, and both my wife and I have, I don't know if it's accurate, but we have a memory of, like, you being possibly the first person we had a conversation with here. And I think it's... Because you pay attention to people who show up. And I think about how you can help them feel comfortable here. So I just want to express gratitude for that practice. And say thank you for just comfort in what can be difficult times for many people when they first show up. See the gift. Interconnected, no separation. Thank you. Hi, Sue.

[42:13]

Hi. We've had a lot of fun here today, thanks to you. And sometimes it's not so fun. And so I was curious, and I'm thinking particularly stories I've heard of your first coming here and maybe receiving some not so fun attitudes, responses to the difficulty of smoke and incense and the kerosene lanterns affecting your health. And I'm curious, one, I'd love to know why you kept coming. And two, if you have anything to say about those times when it's not so fun. Thanks. Part of sitting is pain. What Sojin, I think, quoted a teacher, there's pain and suffering is optional.

[43:21]

And we learned that, to some extent. I happen to have yet to write my book, which is bitching my way to enlightenment. Because people notice and care and it took a long time and other people were having the same problem, but I actually liked sitting out on a Zabaton on the ramp during Rahatsu. It was cold and I brought blankets, but I did that. I wasn't the only one. I don't know what I would have done if it hadn't changed, but I am deeply grateful that it did. I wasn't... I didn't make a profound effort to change it myself. It was a group effort of other people who are more outspoken, I think.

[44:25]

Sometimes things change. In an organization, I think in ours we try and be... And even though somebody comes up with another good idea, and I think, oh, God, another good idea. And I don't want any more change. But, you know, that's not how we work. I don't know if that helps. Patience, I guess. Thank you. I thought, again, of giver, receiver, and gift and how we take care of each other here. We do. Not always fun. Take care of yourselves. Right? Yeah. Yoni behind you. Sure, right? Thanks. Thanks for your talk, Sue. Can you tell us a little more about what your name means to you? Your new Dharma name? Not yet.

[45:36]

Well, let's see. Yes, I can. I never paid much attention to ancestors. You know, there's a lot in here that meets you and some of it you're not really aware of and it's fine and it's very deep and it gets broader and broader. The ancestors now, I feel, are taking care of me. I never thought that. I never had any connection with those old guys. I'm not sure how we'd get along, but it's like I said, don't worry about it. So anyway, it's a process. It's a new opening. And so also people should know that you never stop learning and discovering and enjoying. And I'm 83, so I have some experience with that. Thank you. Anything else?

[46:36]

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