This Little Light Of Mine

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day of sitting
morning when can you hear me out yes
good
well
it seems like the heat
that was predicted has broken
and we have a number of things converging today it's father's day
hum
which are high
congratulate all of your father's
and also whole with mothers and then all the children mom were all included
today also at eight thirty p m
we marked the solstice
ah which i believe is the
longest day of the year
ah and so that say
yeah
what can i say
an astro geological
celebration moment accelerations
and also wearing them
when the midst of what has become pride month gay pride month ah and so as being celebrated gay pride is being celebrated er debt in different places at different on different weekends but are alma
months basically
so i wonder it
congratulate everyone who identifies with
and use celebrates gay pride
mom couple of years ago
there was a move to
inaugurate
in the bluegrass music community bluegrass pride as the they've actually had a a winning float in the san francisco gay pride parade with people live banjos mandolins and fiddles guitar
is the parade route long as i think it's no parade this year tag on
bluegrass pride samuel less
that's not something that was so it was imaginable have twenty thirty years ago but i'd love fit me really love it and ah i support it
so
perhaps it's time to celebrate we're also celebrating the end of our practice period which was a great accomplishment in the midst of the pandemic and i'm gonna talk a little more about that and about ah the challenges ah
in the book and my talk but i thought if we're celebrating we should sing a song
so ah i'm gonna advice you to see the song with me
ah get london zendo can do it and people out there are kinda radio land can do it
ah see
the so on you are all familiar with the song i believe it's of this little light of mine
and it reminds me very much of a
the case eighty six in the blue cliff record
humans bright light
which gunman says
everyone has their own light
if you want to see it you can
the darkness is dark dark
what is your light
and i also think of the
the last words of the
poet and writer gutters
which were reported to be more like one like
so you can sing this you can say this with me this is an anthem of the civil rights movement ah

p m
eh
the
this little man
not gonna let it shine
this time
i'm gonna let it shine
this little guy line
i'm very shy shy very shy
chan
every way raccoons
i'm totally shocked
everywhere i go
the day of showering everywhere i go
don't let it shine let it shine as a child bearing guy
all round is said don't
gonna let it shine out round present know
a shirt all round he said
i'm gonna shine
can lead a child
challenge even out on zoo
i'm totally shine
letting our on
i'm not letting it shine
the park
i'm not shy shy a shine a shirt
this thing
i'm gonna let it shine this little
we're all very shy his little land man
a a chance that a child a child
when i'm in the dark
i've gotten any shot
plaintiff in the dark
a shy
in the dark
i'm gonna let it shine a chan really shined chan one more time welding cables mind
very high level alert high
this little a man i'm very shy
check
an ahl

felt good to see
the year the people who essential
want to say i was doing docusign

this morning but
i'm so glad to hear people chanting into hear the chanting sounds of good
so

one more announcement sorry my voice is hoarse
this afternoon to close or safina the concept practice period
we're going to have shows on
which is an opportunity
ever
public dime a dialogue
ah and i will be here to receive your questions and respond as best i can
hum
sometimes shows on like suzhou ceremony is has been considered to be like dharma combat
it's not come back
or that's not how we're doing it
it's actually to bring forth the dharma together
so i encourage you to frame a question for yourself you can do it now or you can actually wait and see what really arises on the moment
anything top
i will see what weights when what arises for me mom i have no rehearsed dancers
ah
so what i would encourage you to the cause you're quite a few of us is
really cut to the chase
ask a question
and try to eliminate the ah prefatory or contextual remarks that lead up to it purchase get to your question
and that will really encourage everybody ah if you don't have a question
that's fine if you don't know a question just
stand up and bow
and ah mary beth will give you the instructions it's time for our going to proceed they were going to begin with the people in the zendo and then moved to the people onto
and then we'll have a very brief close he
ah
ceremony
so i just wanted to let you know about that so it won't come as a surprise to you or if you don't know what your son is if you haven't done it it's really wonderful ah it's just where we stand open to each other and can bring forth the dharma together
or to the best of our understanding
so
this safina
for i hope it's been wonderful for you all for most of you ah their been
a lot of
there's a lot of detail and questions and mistakes and try to figure out
what should happen behind the scenes to make this go or appear to go smoothly which maybe it as maybe it as and i don't know
i'm
and i will confess that
last night abscess trying to think about the things that adapt and today
i felt somewhat overwhelmed
ah
and
i had to find
to renew my practice in bath in like
and i was thinking about this
palm chapter talk by suzuki roshi hidden not always so
which is are entitled
just enough problems
so he gives this on the last day was a safina
it says we've already come this far and we can't give up
the only way is to stay here
i feel i have a very good crop
you may not feel that you are
reich yeah
but even though you're still ripening
if you stay in our storehouse
you will be good apples
so i have nothing to worry about and i don't think you have any reason to worry about your practice either
he goes on to say some of you and me started the session because you had many problems that may be true for
some of you some of us
you thought that if you sat year
i'm editing you thought if you sat here for three days your problems would be soft
but whatever problems you have
they can be solved anyway
but the really complicated since
ah you made for you you did if you sat here for three days your problems we saw that whatever problems you have they can be solved anyway
it's not science a it's not contingent on sitting here for three days
analysis buddha will not give you any more problems than you can solve
or more than you need
so that's what that's what the buddha was saying to me
last night although it was actually really aren't to except that
i forgot this is one too many me know
whatever the problems are they are just enough
if fees are not enough problems
today is ready to give you more
it reminds me can we talked about this on

at one point sojourn manu having a hard time ah and thought that
carrick debt debt or cecilio she didn't have faith in his practice
he went to him and asked them should i continue this practice and suzuki where she said oh isn't this practice hard enough for you
solar case may be suzuki roshi was ready to give him more problems
certainly
ah
so you know she gave me my problems
heavy in a i left me this big problem ah of are learning how to be the abbot at berkeley's entender
that's enough
ah
so if these are not enough problems good as ready to give you more just so you can appreciate your problems
if you have nothing to cope with
your life feels empty
so we have to have something our problems or what we work with our problems is how we develop our lives
her problems is how we develop our practice
a problems is actually they are how we find our freedom believe it or not
if you have nothing to cope with your life feels empty so i think you should trust buddha
a life without problems is like sending me this zendo for seven days without doing anything
when doing something
as we sit in session
we're engaging with ourselves
we're engaging with all the things around us were engaging with the schedule
we're engaging ways how on earth to have a hybrid program
all the things said
for many of us worked so smoothly
for so many years to be had we had on the schedules were dad we had all the positions were down and dinner we had to deal with were the weird people who were doing them
and ourselves
made the deal with ourselves fundamentally
ah hum but now we're actually having to think about
each
ceremony each sequence of events and how are gonna do them and how we're going to engage and and mesh with the people who are
and zoo in the people who were here in the zendo so this is our first taste of this in the course of the pandemic we have done everything nine zoom and now we're experimenting with this interpenetration of
zoom and face to face her hand we find we have no matter how
closely we try to plan and look at ah
what we've set out to do there are
unexpected
complications and unintended ha
mistakes

the suzuki roshi says no problem will appear than you did not originally have
but because you overlook it you can unexpected
so it is better to see your problems as soon as possible
so last night my problem was not the complexity of the schedule or the planning my problem was myself
my problem was
hum
my resistance my problem was see
can it isn't this enough already
but
this is the
the position that i took on

try to find the passage was as if he she speaks directly to this

sorry

yes here's a areas he says before you accept the problems you have in your position
you cannot accept yourself as you are
you cannot sit in a true way
in other words whatever position we take
has somebody who signed up for session as somebody who a dough on assemblies and sixteen directed at somebody who is an avid perspective all of these pieces
our part of the whole their interlocking gears that have to roll together in order to make this go
canned
my effort your effort
are necessary
my once effort in the position is necessary to make the whole goal
w h o l the
and also to accept oneself
to accept oneself as one is
and can recognize that everyone is making this effort
and it's complicated
is wonderful
because we're making this ourselves it's like not some jobs that we went to it's not something that is assigned to us
if we didn't have some deep face
in this process it would be actually no reason to be doing this ridiculous thing that we're doing
so we do this
in the
process of accepting ourselves as we are
if you can't do that you cannot sit in a true way says when you steady your mind trust buddha and just sit
there is no problem and no confusion anymore
when you are patient enough and wait until the problem makes some sense to you
you can appreciate your being here hang your physician whatever it may be that is how you practice doesn't
so last night i allowed myself to have my ah
what can i say
what my reaction to say it simply and i said okay
i'm having this reaction i'm just going to
let this play out
and
come back and look at the whole fame in an hour
and when i get i was able to think clearly
without
the clouded emotions of reaction
and that is
the way of trust in my practice
and have also been feeling such gratitude for having this practice to trust and rely on

oh

suzuki roshi she says even if you feel you have too many problems
when you trust buddha you simply your problems had the same time you should be ready to refuse a problem if it is too much
put may say oh if you know if you really don't need it
i will accept it anytime give it back to me
love the as the by ah
you're the problem felt the brownstones having last evening where it felt like was more than i could accept inside basically it's like
i could say okay could you hold this one for little while until i have the capacity to take it up again
and he said sure sure not no problem
ha

i'm not so sure about
something in this

and one point in his letter he says
this is a mysterious sing
these problems that we have ah mystery of life
we have just enough profits not too many not too few so there is no need to ask for anyone's help
i don't completely agree with that
ultimately
the problem that you think you have has to be resolved within oneself
but there is no shame
or
prescription against the asking for help
asking for help from buddha
asking for for help from our friends are teachers or family members
we can ask for help at the same time remember they cannot solve the problem
i think that's what he's getting out here but i'm i'm not sure how the problem has the problems that we think we have have to be resolved within ourselves
but i don't think there's anything mistaken or
anything wrong about asking for help
it may be this simple as saying how do you see this
war
oh
how do you see how i am
how i'm acting are reacting at this moment
and really listening
because i am not
exactly
some unitary thing that exists within this bag of skin
i am also
those i love
those i know my teachers and all beings
and they have a say in what
i may choose to do
or how how i might feel in any given moment

towards the end of this lecture
suzuki where she says he talks to bed teachers here
hum

he says you receiving just what you need
so the only way is to trust buddha
to trust your being here
that is what because it
you may think that all the zen masters are very tough
they look tough when you need them to be tough
they are not so tough
they're just tough enough for you that's all
actually you don't need your master or your teacher if you know how to practice zazen

but i would say
that's one side
her teacher sojourn was always talking about there being
never looking at just one side
but recognizing the two sides are operating at any moment
one side is that
you support yourself entirely
the other side is that we need each other this is what i was speaking of yesterday when speaking about tonga
without sanga
there will be no
arise in buddhists
buddhists do not arise spontaneously
they arise in the context of sanga
so even if though we don't understand
how we need each other
we do we need each other to complete ourselves
we need each other to see that we have just enough problems
so i think that's where i'm going to stop this morning and leave time for your questions and remind you again please
ah
prepare but not too much for the show son but to present a question for shows on meanwhile you can present a question now relate to what i'm just talking about
so if you are on line you can raise your digital him to ask a question or put something in the chat box and i suppose in the central you can raise your real hand and hassan on will call on you
i got one or hear a live one here in the zendo job
how does this talk relate to
our problem of taking on too much
sometimes we say yes too much
that's your problem
you know that
i'm somebody asked me that yesterday as well in in docusign i'm
i mean this is why the buddha invented ah a monastic system
yeah because the system is
it has boundaries and all you really need to do is follow the schedule we have a really difficult practice because we're here in the world where
there are many poles
his pulse of our family is a pulse of our work is pulse of our our responsibilities in various places and ah
there is no great answer
that i have to that you should do what your capacity allows and that's one and thinks i think in the process of investigation is to to come to an understanding of what your capacity is and say yes this is it for now
and with practice if your capacity expands great
ah and with age your capacity will contract certain capacities will contract ah and you need to know be really honest with yourself and with others about what they are
i'm jessica second you

other serratus do you want to unmute yourself and ask your question please
yeah skateboarding
amazon you mentioned am our problems are how we find our freedom
which i loved and a wonder
sometimes my problems resolved quickly and sometimes i look back and realize i've been working on the same problems for forty years so what is the relationship where words of encouragement for problems at stick around a whole long in
that's great that gives you a
focal point for your life in your development on what i've always felt and i i came to this
before i took up the in
and then it was affirmed by
some things i've learned here
what i always felt was that
my problems or internal contradictions whatever we're constantly resolving
to a higher level and it's like they were spiraling fortunately spiraling upward ah but they always remade and what i expect is that they that those problems always well this is this is part of one's life's work
and you know i think about this section one of suzuki roshi books ah
ed brown
during says sheen are one of our teacher said brown who was a disciple of suzuki roshi is
with ah
complaining about a problem that he had
and zucker she said
the problem that you have
and then he paused and ed thought will go away with practice
ah were to superior she said was will always be a problem
so we we are will we are and we'll send comic formations and this is who and this is what we're working with
so just enough problems
i'm sorry
isn't based on this is linda
eight year old nonsense a migration is right now i'm living in a house without aggravating ventilation and are sitting with her and i have a few nausea and my question is what can we do but why the that wrong
oh can you hear the question
how then yes or no well he will say you sitting in a house or with inadequate ventilation and ah
there's someone in a house with perfume etc what can i do have obviously you should talk to the person in your house
or you know you can you can ask me too but ah if that's the situation please ah
address it politely and directly because it's very likely that ah the person is not aware of that most of our world is not aware of the impact of sense in
hopefully if watch television receiver a sensor being sold to us
every day you know pretty high pressure so you just say politely what you experienced at how it affects you
ah and the challenge for all of us when mean that kind of response that you're having is a kind of
nor our cycle chemical response hence the that causes anxiety and a to right
so just if you can see that anxiety and set it aside and just
tell someone very very kindly this is what the effect is that's doesn't even do
we do have a rule about since we we asked people on the property not to wear sense ah but sometimes people are not aware of it we haven't been on the property really for the only have so we have to renew that
and i will support you in them
a major not a of place to go i
that's my reaction
and i'm gonna draft well that's the feeling like the film will be trapped by so that's where you have to create a sense of spaciousness for yourself ah android you're not if you're not necessarily trapped in but you are having a response or riyadh
should have a psycho physical reaction you know ah which is understandable
don't we can help each other
jen would you like to a mute yourself and ask your question
oh
what
i guess the the the issue i'm struggling with an sure so many other a of of of people who said of have been doing this long in the me by or struggle with it into so many people are or third you know their lives are getting coming another number doctors out there was a
new are involved in so many issues
he didn't you know and provide around the world than you feel this urgency is not your suffering it's the suffering of others that and i that so i guess my my problem is my travel i mean i'm okay i can cope with it i may i might my work is
is by l is dealing with a lot attendants who can't afford the rattling are on the verge of addiction and as i said and i'd find you know like take i'm at right now we're all on my team is working seven days a week of and i'm sitting and my problem is i don't i am
i feel like i shouldn't be sitting and i know somebody other people struggle with that so what if the problem isn't it isn't i mean i i do feel anxiety and stress because of of what's happening to others but i can thus am i understand that's not my problem
i mean that's not problem i've had to cope with as i said like i don't how do i said when it's not my problem i know it's
the other people dying
a that hum
could you hear that
hum but what's not as product i didn't catch that part
what's not his problem is the suffered he's concerned about the suffering dead he experienced the city's world which is not immediately what he personally may be suffering
ah and yet he feels it really intensely
palms
a open spotify has adjusted to clarify how do i set not like how what it's like help hardaway how does how do you all have used because i'm sure you can be doing a whole lot of good by doubt for the last three days sitting with a with well for you sit with us in didn't
thank you for setting with us but by how do you do that when you know that there's all this other need
and i said
justice in
i said because i have come to believe that
the ceiling increases my capacity to be open
and i really i trust that
and ah i said with the body songs for now
and we're so struck by the urgency
and it is really urgent of the sufferings in our world
but this is three days or it's one hour a day and if that settles if that helps to settle
a practitioner than the practitioner is much more able to give
in those other two thousand twenty three hours of the day i have really i have faith in that
and also i have faith in them from for myself ah
you know part of the job that i feel a responsibility i feel is to share the practice in a way that it becomes available to kill other people and in i don't wanna i hesitated to say this but i i talked with
are
i talked with a giant who's who's on who's online here today in india and people they are facing the pandemic and lots of difficulties and ha
amazingly or pratt our practice or bcc practice is reaching later this is something that that
i don't think any of us ever imagined or thought of so if it's creating a capacity and resilience in people
ah that's great if it's doing that directly terrific if a sweet indirectly that's also what we can offer but we have to settle ourselves he nodded to do it otherwise we're gonna be caught in urgency and anxiety
then jackson plays on mute yourself and ask your question
i was on
when you said that voters don't arise spontaneously that brought up for me a question that are not meaning to pose it as a historical puzzler the more about the the interplay between individual effort on and saundra so my question would be who was food
sanga before he became enlightened
as interesting question ah he had a variety of sagas and it had a good friends and ah
but you know easy also a kind of ah
exemplary figure
ah
when he began after his enlightenment the first thing he did was he went he went out and found his old friends and taught them the dharma and they became the saga
but his saga in a certain sense ah it can look through the ah
early buddhist texts
his soccer were all the buddhas who keep buddhas and bodhisattvas that came before him
and they were encouraging him
ah and
he tried different spiritual pads and finally had to be a pioneer and find something for himself
we all have to be a pioneer ultimately but we're fortunate in that we have
ah osaka mutual support
the new everything is not strictly logical
ah but
that's pretty much the way i think about it that is somewhere
ah the buddhas and bodhisattvas of of the past
we're always hanging around
i'm beginning to lose for you
thank you
to would you like to a nice job and asked a question
i heard that something came up which raised something that's hard for me witches that
you said when you have difficulty with someone took speak to them both politely indirectly and i'm conscious that
my efforts to be polite often lead to meet me to be less direct and to interfere know weird with way about just being direct i get i i put a lot of contacts like you said about the question and shows so
on a help for them
whatever we say to somebody
it it's
experiment in relationship
ha it's doesn't and like us in experiment it has no guaranteed outcome
and like an experiment in the more you do it and verify it the more you see of this approach generally works
phantom so i'm talking about polite number of never being very nice since began
and that's not what i'm talking about i'm talking about respectful
polite as respectful as having one's own autonomy and expect and respecting another person's autonomy
and whatever form that expression needs to take to take is fine and it's always an experiment it may work and it may not
but if we don't try
you know if no we don't try we're going to blame others and beat up ourselves
thank you very much as thank you
really is time for one more if there is

alex would you like to and meet yourself and ask your question
i noticed to say very carefully hum the problems we think we have an arm
in in algae there's a famous theorem that says that the things that we perceive as real are a real in their consequences harm than good i like that what half so good when you say the problems we think we have you think we don't have those problems out on i just gotta
repeat that when he said was a problem that we perceive as real are really their consequences that's really good okay to go on from there right hum
so when you say the problems we think we have do we not in fact have those problems ha and if not then what are the problems we think half
she says the problems we think we have do we not actually have those problems or i'm say the second part
and if we don't what are they hum if we don't what are they on
this is called karma
yeah when you act on your thoughts
words or actions
and you put them out in the world that it has consequences so if we think we have a problem
and we act on that problem
then we have a problem
then when you we've made a probably taken a problem out of the realm of ah
a presumption a thought from a an insubstantial idea and we projected it onto the world and therefore ah we have you made it into something that affects people
you know i mean really good
the essential buddhist messages don't do that
but we can't help it
don't we're constantly watching we should be watching according to the the tools of practice that we that we learn how
observing our minds observing our thoughts and ah doing the best we can
to maintain composure and respect and not to project our
our perceived problems
on others has really really hard
why are you saying than bed when we are considering a response we should be particularly careful about acting on the basis of what we believe is a problem that's correct
ah and this is where we
this is i think also where we it's good to collect information widely from others ah you know even in in some of the conflict
reduction work that i've done ah you do what's called conflict mapping
so you may see what's something that you see as a
well as this if this cause is causing this effect
but when you conflict map and you bring other people into that process you begin to see why there's multiple factors here that we need to look at and the original your original notion of what the problem is might actually really shift
and you and so therefore your approach to resolution may shift
thank you
well i think we will end there and ah we will continue remember this day is not over and ah i look forward to ah
a to us all bring you voice dharma and shows them