Let The Mystery Be

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BZ-02868
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good morning

her few things i want that i said last night at our gathering that i just want to ah reiterate ah logistical things ah wanted to say that
we'll have ah more opportunities to ah together and remember and speak to and about sojourn roshi in the in the next couple of weeks
and at a certain point which is not been determined yet or
the beer
cremation ceremony and that will be livestreamed so that people can can see that the date hasn't been fixed yet
but when we know all this stuff will be announced on the on the website ah and also ah
there is what is called a kudo board on the front page of the website and maybe laurie ah or someone can type into the chat the the the link for the kudo board so that it's a wonderful opportunity so instead of sending
a personal condolences to individuals or to ah say to to lose horowitz or daniel ah weekend we can see what we're doing in public and share it widely share our our thoughts in our sentiments why
early in the in the community
and just to say it is
ah going wide ah
think maybe you saw there was a piece in lion's roar of there have been talking to trace the call and they will have a ah something a bad surgeon ah coming soon
and through messages that have been coming ah to and and through me from have been quite extraordinary and wide ranging actually ah
people commenting people from five continents ah and ah it's really amazing to see the
the breadth of feeling
and you know mysteriously how surgeon roshi how his teachings and his being communicated so widely ah for someone who was he certainly was not self promoting in any way
ah and you know he kept this is very quiet steady presence here for present center and it's it's really instructive to see how that steadiness can have this enormous reach in effect
i wanna do say something brief about ah honorific titles because ha in the service that we did this morning we referred to search and roche
see as dire show
ah which really means ah
it means great teacher
ah well or very high ranking priest
ah we have these various titles roshi in soto zen has a little different meaning than roshi in rinzai in rinzai it's it's a kind of ecclesiastic greg
ah in soto it's used a lot more freely and it it really means old teacher or old master it's you'd say ah it's a kind of intimate and broad form of address so when i was practicing and zooey energy
he in japan ah you refer to everybody you know that you had the tens or roshi and the ino roshi and this could have been all people or young people but it was a threaded the it went along with their position in the monastery
we don't use it that much i really liked the idea of ah
get you that you're gonna need to be old to be called roshi
and also wanted things that i've seen in the united states that i'd never seen in japan and it kind of like ah chalk on the blackboard to me is people referring to themselves teaches referring to themselves as roshi
and ah of just i've never seen action in soto circles and ah
it is not entirely comfortable for me ah
to hear it to hear it you that way so
i think that in our formal what what we what i but i've learned and i've seen so when you when you have the ordination of priest ordination you receive a a lineage document and it's a document it has all of the teachers lived all the teachers and lineage from shakyamuni buddha
a down through sojourn or through me or someone else ah and all of the chinese and japanese teachers are referred to as dial show
ah they are teachers in our lineage ah and when you get to like on on my ah
on my vintage paper ah after suzuki roshi shouldn't use azuki diode show you have ah
hawaii to suzuki have you surgeon and then your name here but they do not use that honorific dai osho ah so hard usually we do not we don't use that until a person has
passed away
and so now ah to meet a surgeon is a surgeon dai osho in a formal sense and in an informal sense or in the sense that he occupies our minds that he is lie
live in our minds ah
i think of him his sojourn roshi
and i realized
yesterday's at home
before we have them mountains seed ceremony in in a few weeks ah
i want to have a photograph of him
ah next to suzuki roshi in the founders altar
that's ah that's the place that
that's a place that he occupies at this point in time
so so those are just a few things said
he helped me wander into this talk i had another a completely different talk in mind and more or less prepared
and that talk was on
what's called the five remembrances or the five recollections they're teaching from the ah
the opa gitana ceuta which is in the numerical discourses in which you have everything categorized by the ones twos threes fours fives and so forth ah it's the i think it's the largest of the it's largest are almost large
just of the pali suttas ah and
i was going to gonna unpack them but i'm gonna read them to you anyway because i think they're ah they're instructive and lead us into ah what we can talk about so these are five remembrances ah
five things to consider on a daily basis ah and they were they applied to
the they were taught both to lay people and monks
one is i'm sure to become old i cannot avoid heating
two i'm sure to become ill
i cannot avoid illness
three i am sure to die i cannot avoid death
for
i will be separated and parted from all that is dear and beloved to me
and five i am the owner of my actions
air of my actions
from actions
have i come actions are my relations actions are my protections whatever actions i do good or bad
of these i shall become the air
so

i think that
many of these whether we articulate them in this form or not or issues dead
our on our mind and certainly they've been issues that have been matters that have been on our mind in this in this period ah watching surgeon
ah
in this transition amidst it's
it's remarkable
because many of us have seen him for so many years and ah
you know it really wasn't until recent months then he looked old
is is really unusual ah
it just such an unusual her use not just they used but you know a a density and a glow to his skin tone yell a video to his walk an expression and so
something that
quite amazing for a person of of ninety
and he no one could imagine
it was gonna be that way
always
ah and then the illness relief took it's toll
but i find that i'm remembering him even though i saw him pretty frequently in the last couple months
i'm remembering
the vitality
so this is part of we talk about the five remembrances it's not just for me would that invokes his hum
not just regret not just
reflecting on
the facts of my own life and the issues of karma
but i'm also
ha
thinking about sojourn calling him up in my memory
so this this word the word for
memory
ah
is a impulsively and smirky in sanskrit ah and
often that's that's the word that we translate as mindfulness
and i've never been in love with that translation i think that ah the word mindfulness as a to me
it's kind of it i believe it was actually the word that was kind of
put in place by victorian era translators with wizard
kind of strong christian undertone ah but more literally it means remembering or recollected
and those are interesting words right ha remembering like
put all those arms and legs and limbs put them back together and make a whole body ah and recollecting also is you know recollecting been in both those cases it's remembering recollecting it's
it's putting back together
something that
was originally whole and can return to wholeness and this this reminds me of the the jewish mystical
ah notion of tikkun olam the healing of the world in which the images of the
world as if it were a shattered mirror that had broken into a countless
countless shards
that it was our job to recollect to put it together into one hole
so when i think about this process the five recollections or just my ordinary recollections i
i find i'm applying that
two surgeon
i'm recollecting him in my mind even as according to our
teachings
his scandals or what was provisionally called his self
ah is now flowing freely in the universe
but my remembrance
has a lot of very particular
aspects to i was just thinking of downstairs ah before the talk i was getting some water and i was standing at the kitchen
ah kitchen sink looking out the window and it looks right down to his office
and you know i was always
jose's acutely aware
of when he was there
you know you could sometimes tell because the blinds were ah
ah we're open
but there was also a kind of subliminal sense of or of his presence that ah that i picked up i
instinctively knew even if out of here in my office ah
i could hear i recognized his car when it pulled into the driveway and the way he closed his door
and i think a lot of us also recognize the way he closed his office door in the morning when he came out to zazen was vigorously you know it wasn't like careful line for very slow and quiet was home
you know ah direct
can i i'm remembering that career he he is in the details or that the sinews of my of my mind
and to say that
it's very hard to
comprehend that i won't hear that corridor
i won't
see
him in the office i won't be able to knock on the door and and have him say i
and the door was always open
you know and he was always willing to be interrupted
now maybe that's good news that's not good but that was his practice
it's something that's a really good it's a great and challenging model for for all of us
and just to say that
we did not always agree on everything
there were times of
difference or even some tension between us
but at the same time there was
it was always reassuring
to feel that he was there
tend to to know that he was he was accessible
whether i wanted to avail myself of that or not
and that was incredible the comfort in how it's it's
he reminds me of the old song motherless children have a hard time when their mother is gone wild mother or father perhaps but there's a comfort we know when that person is in the world
can we can we can turn to them
so
the other remembering and recollecting
that i am doing
he is ah as if i alluded to this last night for those of you were there i feel like i am
gathering bits and pieces of myself
ha
trying to sense
and
take stock of
what shattering or brokenness
i am feeling
that i'm not even as shirley fully aware of yet
and to know that this was also
the practice that he gave the surgeon gave to us in the same way as it's the practice that's a superior she gave to his students

so in this there's a there's an expression that surgeon used that i
the best my knowledge ha
he got it from category roshan and said kind of
to paraphrase of dogan ah
that our job as instance hundred candy the activity of zazen which we which we are doing today
is to settle the self on the self

i'm not entirely sure
how to express what that means to me
but it's it's like
i see
a layer of self and then
self that settles on it and you know this layer is a little vague and fuzzy but when i settle herself on the self
then it's clear and vivid
and we know that the practice of zazen we know that
when we finished today today's sitting
can we look out the window
there's going to be a clarity
a christmas
to our vision to are hearing
that has been
heightened may be subtly
i ah
by this practice
and i think that's that's kind of set the purpose of the practice it's the action of the practice to settle the self on the self
and i think it's a really good question to hold say how do i do that

to bring up another matter the other night when ah some of the priests were sitting around ah surgeons body
we had a discussion
without a conclusion
the winner see

and their various doctrine all
ah propositions
about what happens to the body what happens to the to the self what happens is condors what about ah
karma and rebirth
and
continuation

there's a line in our funeral liturgy that i've always loved even though i question with it i questioned it at the in the liturgy there's a line that says the great mystery is no mystery to him or her now
and that's pronounced with great
uranus
and i find it very moving
ah and i confess it somewhat
verifiable
you know ah poor at least to my senses my her the unenlightened part of me which is very much alive
am
i think i've worked well when you asked surgeon about
ah
reverse i've heard him say several times
i don't remember
and i really liked that say this to me
it doesn't necessarily make sense that there's not the continuation of your energy or the continuation of your karma but whether it's life to life
maybe but you know it sake
ah that memory have don't have access to add memory ha so i don't i don't really know ah we had i didn't have told this story before i did session at hockey or g him
pepe nineteen eighty six hockey or g was category roche's a rural ah
center and was beautiful out in a and the border of minnesota and iowa very near the mississippi river and you can hear the coyotes and wolves howling at night was pretty wild place ah and the zendo was a
a crackhead structure it had wood lattice
walls but it had a canvas a roof that was tied down ah like a tank top and
you know at night it was like you're in a bid sailing vessel and the wind would be whipping through the ah this is the yards you know it through the through the ties with wonderful so one night during lecture he said okay tomorrow
i'm going to talk to you i'm going to explain puts a lot of you been asking home and explain about rebirth
so
i got excited the lot of people having several with would really were gonna get the lowdown on this
and ah
he came in for lecture the next day
and started
can you gotta bed
five minutes into it
and he said
i get to this
ah said the problem is i believe and you don't believe
and so there we are we are left on our own
to meet
this mystery

how do we want to continue we continue in each other's minds we continue in the in the minds and memories of friends and children etc
and the impact over her efforts
our our continuation so i thought before i opened it up i'm actually gonna sing you a relevant song which had sung before
last week couple days ago not so that's a long ago ah
i brought my guitar over to surgeons and i sang
i sang and played for him for that
forty five minutes
he was kind of a captive audience
the and and he wasn't
particularly responsive but but lives love this she said all i want to sung at my more
this is a song that some of you may know my iris dement it's called let the mystery be

everybody is wondering what were they all came from
everybody is worrying where they gonna know the old things done
no one knows for certain
all the same way
think i'll just let the mystery be

some say once you're gone you're gone forever some say you don't come back some say arrest in the arms of their savior isn't sinful ways you lack
some say you come back in the card much carrots a little sleepy
he consciously the mystery

some say the born to replace all glory i ain't saying that's not a fact
but i've heard among the road to purgatory can act don't like the sound of that
have a dream and glove and i live my life already leave
directions to let the mystery

everybody is wondering what were they all came from
everybody is worrying were gonna go with the last name is done
well no one knows for certain
so it's all the same to me
i think that just let the mystery be
no no one knows for certain it's on the same to me
think of just let the mystery me

so i think we have some time for
questions reflections ah
opinions and then a give it back to marry best to describe the process okay
okay so as you know things change right zoom has changed its platform we can no longer raise our digital blue hands and the way that we were used to what you need to look for is the smiley face with a plus on it that says react
options if you go to their you will find that there is an option for you to raise a hand so if you would like to ask a question please raise your hand through the reactions or you can type me a message and i will relay your question and yet i just have to say
ah
not only is change difficult but i don't like the idea that they've made that the tradition to reactions but anyway paco
well and you can go to settings to and change that skin tone of your hand so
go figure
why do not see this penelope are you trying to ask a question i'm trying to figure out what you just said i can't seem to locate them
the the thing on my computer so go ahead on the i'm under net probably next to share screen or your chat box you never be do have a question know and that's why don't want to take time thank you

i'm going to call on myself
who is it pica right
i am thank you for that it's so soothing and comforting to be with family today
so i don't know either how much to say but thank you for the song was beautiful and your talk and it just feels really good to be here so thank you for that thank you for being here and you there last night to right yeah was not not for the whole time they our and then i was late for saas on this morning but that's a whole other story
the site was wonderful to see you and
absolutely family yeah
yeah no mistake illustrate just to that was kind of file that was them
really the key reason that i wanted to ordain ah was that i realized her i wanted to be in this family
and
you know more and more have even in this loss
we're forging family
and so we really need to take care of each other

mary beth i'm seeing hands are you
now i'm not hearing you though

i think she's gone on you and go ahead
thank you thank you rosanne for your talk and dumb
it's not easy to even talk
right now but when i want to say is that will pay
think of sojourn it's not so much his words
crisis
i think about the way he held sticker
and ten am

they waited
he followed this napkin
on this oreo key book
and how he bowed at that
at the altar
and like you why
whenever i came in the gate
i cut itself
where he was
in his office that was the first thing that i think
mr
slow hundred the city with my sense thank you
meet you and you get the one to remember any words are wonderful and i love words and
ah
when he chose surgeon surgeons words could be very precise
that the true teaching he is a body to body teaching us and ah
just how how he moved how he bowed
you know the
just the teaching of meeting him at the door after zazen in that bow of meeting face to face ah that's awesome
that's really the the to teach and i think nasty the other isn't true but i think that's kind of how we learned yes thank you thank you
i have some more comments in the chat box so i just want to say if you haven't updated your zoom yet it's possible that you still will do it the old way and i'm also
i am
if you're using something different like an ipad it may be in a totally different place i can't help you there but i'm also told that you can click on your name if you're in a different operating system under participants and their you will see the option to raise hands so if you can't find the reactions it's possible it's in those places
so i'm now going to call on roofs blown to lower his hand and ask a question
are you
thank you for blooming
good thank you sergeant or think you learn
every go great
just a little history on the the titles when i started when i was staying the new york with a bernie glassman we only called him sensei there was no bernie and not even traficant and when i came out here i had to adjust to play the old mill and we used to call him sojourn sensei in
normal joe fun and that was it but mostly he was just smell and i really loved that informality the theme was quickly ordinariness of him and then for some reason in ninety eight when i was she so we suddenly started calling him sojourn roshi and it was not a formal proclamation but as you
he said so eloquently and your description of this are naming process it just happened organically and to me that really felt like a
from another place the embodiment of roshi though i think you get for that little bit of history left in place and you know that i'm basically that's how i recall but i really don't remember you know what was the threshold there or why it just you know
i i don't know i don't know but you know what i like which we don't use because we know we don't use a lot of japanese ah
titles but you know when i was in japan with hawaii to roshi and this was ah he wasn't roshi easier this was in e nine i think ah the the
the head priest and a at a temple even a small temple is called pogo son
you know which means mr dharma hall
and is very intimate yeah it it is that felt in that context just right that he was and like i can think of of mel as on you know even though we don't use his terms as that i
i think he was on yeah i like to give a plug to a at herzog in his video work on that lion's roar posting is a great eleven minute snippet of our dear beloved teacher he's just so alive in at a data
work so thank you get ed for that

karen dakota's which you like to and a new yourself in hi thank you hose on wonderful to be with everyone i just wanted to add that i remember a more i think it was a morning shows on where we started calling him
the i'm rushing someone had an interchange with him and asked him about it and then from that day on i remember i don't remember who it was but i remember being there and it was a lovely transition it was like this it wasn't for me but it was like a lovely moment and it's a nice
memory so for she thank you i mean i was relieved i was very comfortable with that and he never referred to himself that way and i are and it's a psych yeah he's old enough
he has enough students you know he's done enough in this world is in this make sense to me
right and i liked that you said we never refer to ourselves someone asked me here up in bozeman is it time to start calling new rochelle a crook on my garden know
i don't know what to say to that by bad happened yeah
there you go i hadn't had an exchange in germany at an invented
was an interview with his holiness dalai lama and i was participating and then and you know he greets everybody when it comes on on stage and say he walked up to work at me as wearing my robes is a ah zen master and i said no zen mr
i like mr dharma hall
new
thank you again and lovely to be here
okay now karen centime or nancy
i just wanted to add to this read i remember being
a saturday lecture it was around nineteen eighty four
planning his trip to japan to receive dharma transmission from wheat so new and this was so new and far and to all of us and some and so he kind of described what was gonna happen and somebody raised their hand and said
does this mean we're going to have to call you wrote she and everyone burst out laughing it was like a bunch of giggling children because
we arm it was kind of unheard of for us back then and so mouse said oh i don't know i i can't remember exactly i think he said no no i'm still now but i'm not sure but knowing how little so
so didn't liked planning which was not at all
i can see how things just kind of the evolved over time like some people have said just now karen
so anyway i just needed to add that
the only thing that i the only
naming thing that i recall him ah
saying something about was ah that it a certain point
informal situations he wanted to be referred to his sojourn
we wanted referred to by his dorm and name ah not as mill ha and you know that talked to some degree and didn't kick another degree you know but that was not a matter of titles that was name

i have a comment from ellen l she says to please thank you for the song and also that she remembers surgeon telling her that things will work themselves out
and now i'm going to ask just thank you ellen
i'm going to ask kicker to ask her question
thank you a hose on for years song i really appreciate that as well and i just want to continue on the on the naming when i started practice i knew so jin only as so john roshi and i was very awestruck by him and so i would very
he formerly say it all the time and then during a dough on training he
he was talking to someone else but i sensed he was talking to me when i just say you notice just say him ml ml so i started it and doing that it was it felt very stiff hey mel hefner or but then i got into the hang of it and i started it was kind of an ongoing a little bit of a joke
because i did i did start doing that and sometimes at the inappropriate time like you say hosts i needed want to be called so john and am but i'm one of those times i saw him and to softly said hey mel
thank you
we all have our own
each of us has our own
intimacy
with young men with ourselves and with others in ah tears
they're all right
to all correct

there any of the any people who don't usually speak who would like to say something or ask a question

alan webb i invite you to unmute yourself and ask your question
hi on a where are you
the you back in berkeley
yeah okay
am so thank you also i liked your sewing a lot and i'd like to talk am
i just want to say that my family knew now when i was you know kind of young and my teens and early twenties and always refer to his mouth and then when i started practicing and nineteen ninety two yeah and from then to really you know now i've never
really known what to call
you know i just never know and i saw am i just never know it is to call him and i never worried about i don't think he did either but i was always slightly confused i just share that like you
you know he was not as everybody knows
he did not stand on formalities
he wanted respect but that we but respected take you know
you could have any name i think depends on what the energy in it is there was till i really appreciated i'm in his
to me there's something about
ordinariness
that's really precious
ah i think this this is also part of how i came to practice reading chinese and japanese poetry and seeing how ah
there was a luminous quality in things that were ordinary and people
that i've met a lot number of people bad who were very prominent teachers
i felt their their ordinariness you know as opposed to other teachers who
you should excuse me seem to cultivate their charisma
come and
you know i just
that's what a one thing i loved about him was that ordinariness which is very precious
then and people you know speak of it a lot it's it's a little worrisome to me that you know as he you know has passed on that he will become special or and special or in well we you know
i think we'll just have to wait and see but ah

how do we
be careful about the canonisation and the objectification and i think some of it is is just inevitable ah but like teachers in our community where we've had daily contact with him we see it's a real person
ha who was
as somebody wrote to me ah
who is
perfectly himself but not necessarily perfect

emily has a question in the chair she wants to know the meaning of surgeons name yes or a courier means white dragon and
ah i'm blocking on certain somebody knows ah was in my
is it essence of curiosity guarantee as insecurity that sort of nicea such white dragon or call you an essence of purity and then
sojourn part of that name was given to him by suzuki roshi
and ah he only received one name which is not so unusual and the second name was given to him a dharma transmission by ah by allegiances of the erosion or but his official dharma name your dharma name is is usually you're the second
one of those names so surgeons is his official domini
and as far as i know i need to talk to akiba roshi know cause it's a whole other deal with posthumous names but
i
i need to find out
ah if there is one how that happens you know to see out i actually took the key promotion rabid her explore that but
it's not so important to me but i like i like knowing
what the tradition is and then you can decide whether to take it up or not
who is on there about six people with hands raised you want to answer any of them asserted let's be brief and a i'm okay ah but that it
okay peter which you and mute yourself and ask your question
turn on thank you goes on for that song and like a fill in line with the sentiments expressed but i'm also surprised how challenge i am thinking wow about this topic result or towns demand by the the suggested room for the history be it doesn't seem like it's really easy thing you
in the car rolls off the tongue
i don't think you have a choice
you know you can think about it all you want
but
you're not gonna figure it out
yeah
still blue new go through
whatever is yes
thank you thank you peter thank you for being there all these years
you know while there were before there were any other priests here when searching would go away peter would sort of mysteriously show up in the zendo and carry the position of being a priest before a malian i or anyone was was
ordained and i i always remember that it's really important to me
susan marvin which you a new yourself and ask your question

can you hear me
it's not a question i just had a quick story i think it was about twenty five years ago and i was practicing as that ten down a it was a one of those pot lucks whereafter evening sauce and people would line up to come in to make their plates
and i was greeting people as they came into the kitchen and and surgeon was at the end of the line and when i greeted him he leaned over and said you know in japan the teachers always at the head of the line but here nobody respects the teacher so i said well and i took his hand and is a con and i brought him to the head of al
line and need this big smile on his face as he kind of cut in lines so about two years ago i guess when glory and leslie and i became took the shared that position as ten xo we had a potluck and there he was the envelope applied i say
you wanna come up to the front of a lot he said no no i'm really comfortable here
thank you
blake would you liked to unmute yourself and ask your question
sure thank you mary beth
i believe you are speaking about category gears gere a catagory regime and speak giving a lecture about the afterlife and he said up well i believe in you don't believe i could you clarify what he meant by that yeah i mean he
yes theological ground was in
the territory of rebirth that was his understanding of buddhism and you know for in
in a number of traditions of buddhism ah that would be a requirement you know you would necessarily believe in reverse if you didn't believe in rebirth than you know why would you call yourself a buddhist this is a big theological
debate that's been going on among sets for years and i think what he was talking about talking to was ah
you know north americans ah who
core not grounded in that in that way of of looking at things that certainly included me in i'd ah so that's what he meant

so moon would you unmute yourself and ask your question
thank you thank you alan favorite song now also not a question am too quick things one is and how cohen no great zen master as student asked him where where do you go after you die and cohen said i i don't know and
the students said when a man you don't know you're a zen master and haku and said yes but not a dead one
so
the idea i went to say about mel so jetting machines and with memory just up that of that kind of ordinary person who didn't care a lot about doing thing he didn't care said stand on ceremony but he cared about doing things properly and
carefully and and that was something i are respected and learned from and i remember back in the day when i used to be go on rio and sometimes i'll be hitting them acute gout and he'd be standing up at the altar during the bows and things and tapping his foot on the sudden he'd start tapping his foot to get me to get onto the right rhythm because i was gay
going to slow or too fast or something i you
anyway it was it was he was just very ever the gate quiet form of correction which i appreciated good i'm glad you appreciated it
many of us have experienced that ah i think that i didn't really think he was right sometimes i got no i'm right
but
just to reiterate something that said ellen cheng said yesterday amid i think that the his care for things could be articulated as basically don't read anything or anyone like an object you know that that's the kind of formality
city of on formality
no thank you

randy or charlie do you want to unmute yourself and ask a question
yeah spunky very well thank you are hassan sunset on charlie and i were married by so did roshi and so today i was looking at our a photo album and what i'm wondering if i'm down the line like are some wonderful pictures in there like we gave our
i give to belgian roshi a little bonsai in a bag and he's holding it up and grinning and then their pictures of him during the ceremony very ordinary but you know i'm very familiar to all of us and i wonder i don't know that it's still there i wonder if at some
oil we're going to have the ken burns version of the a photo album you know like up on i think that would be really significant i guess another photo is of our
it's a lie or an to that i have and that's precious to so i i really are i really value those documents and i think other people would enjoy them and i'd be happy to share that with people like you other your thousand photographs and
presumably at some point
we when we have the means to do it they're they're going to all we want to scan them all and ah they will be part of the archive that's going to stanford ah and will be all than accessible to everybody but it's a really big
project that at that somebody has to take on ha and but we've we've been talking about the the archive committee he has been talking about this and gets you know it's right up there is to thinks that we want to do so yet river cycles out to
comments before you announced the song hassan i thought you were gonna sing you are my sunshine but then i then i knew that the song was to be something else but the words of you are my sunshine kept running in my head
while you were playing a different song
and i want to say what other thing ronnie was talking about our marriage and i wouldn't to search on the docusign and i asked him
a to us in the agenda and he says i don't think so i don't believe in marriage they don't last very long
and i said well we're gonna be married one where the other and we'd like you do to officiate and he said all right my fee is two hundred dollars
and when do you want it
and we gave him a date and away we were so the more things change the more things stay the same new it's right any and then he didn't come to the ceremony because of he had some a the plan don't at the reception at and come to the reception
because he had some about planned after you know at the then or edges etc
thank you just i'm not going to send it out but the other really relevant song ah is a k sara sara
very good whatever will be will be
so that everyone on list
yes it is good well
thank you very much and let's enjoy the white and
i'm sorry
was that you for fulani
i said i wanted to say someone when i have a few things but just maybe one thing okay fine i i just wanted to l i'm not sure myself i just wanted to say our one time wow
at the zendo and the community room ah sodium was having to me he was
up

i think we've long term
now i want to hear
are you there for lock me
i am here okay i'm here you can be yeah man okay he he wanted to tell me about my the name fulani that he had learned about it and i i already knew when i had to pretend i didn't know what i said well i just listened and and just kept listening
and so anyway just wanted to say that yeah that's what i wanted to say that's all i'm mean i have other stories but i'll talk talk by that another challenge very kind of you to listen
i i had to think about it process it you know what me back to share up list and i did
the pocket
thank you thank you and thank you all and think of let's enjoy the rest of our