Good morning. It's a great pleasure for me to introduce Micah Pratt, who most of you know, but some of you don't. Micah is a teacher at the Mount Diablo Zen Group, or Diablo Valley Zen Group. No, Mount Diablo Zen Group. Just remember Devil Mountain. Monteablo Zen Group. Devil Mountain Zen Group. Which started maybe five years ago. And Micah came here as a resident in 1987 and lived here for many many years through thick and thin. And so we have many adventures and tales which we won't tell you about.

[01:16]

I ordained her in, I don't remember what year that was. 1998. 1998, wow. And so last year, well a few years ago, she became a student of Grace Shearson. And Grace gave her drama transmission last year. Or this year. This year. This year. A few months ago. Last year. In January. Everything that happened to her happened to her in January. She just told me. It was this year. And so we're happy to invite her to come and give a talk. Thank you so much. So some of us have been here since early this morning.

[02:19]

And I was here early this morning. So even if you weren't here early this morning, you can relax. Just take a moment to relax. If you weren't here, probably you were running around doing something else. The other day I was thinking about Japan and what's going on there. And feeling very sad. and wondering how we could allow this to happen. So when I'm feeling sad, I turn towards practice and ask the Buddhas and ancestors for help.

[03:22]

So this time I picked up this book of Zen Master Hongyu's practice instructions It's a wonderful book. It's very short instructions and so rich in language and beautiful poetic expression that he uses. So he really strongly influenced our particular school, the Soto Zen School. Does that sound a little funny? Yeah. Thank you. He was a 12th century Zen master and I really loved reading him and was introduced to him here. So this is what I read that day.

[04:26]

I was feeling blue. It's called the Naga Meditation. Can you all hear me okay? Back there? Okay, good. Being withered and cold in body and mind, cleanses and sharpens the field. The dusts are jumbled and then distilled, leaving each realm vacant and bright. The moon in the water reflects the light in the clearing sky. The clouds embrace the mountain with its autumn colors. Whether jet black or lush green, the profound depths have great spirit. The inherently illuminated original root is not constrained by the branches and leaves. This is the time and place to leap beyond the 10,000 emotional entanglements of innumerable Kalpas.

[05:27]

One contemplation of 10,000 years finally goes beyond all the transitory and you emerge with spontaneity. The clouds traveling in the vacant valley are free, whether moving or tranquil. Agreeably enter every sense dust while constantly staying in Samadhi. Therefore, we have been told that Nagas are always in meditation, never apart from the sublime state. So I'm not sure maybe this is a little hard for you to understand. I don't know. And this is what really helped me. There's a note here about what the Nagas are. A Naga is an ocean spirit or dragon, sometimes the guardian of Buddhist teachings not yet understandable in the human realm.

[06:30]

Naga meditation is meditation or samadhi in all times amid all activity. So I felt better reading this because I realized that the teachings are always present and somewhere even if we can't see them or experience them and we kind of don't get it but that's because they're not understandable in the human realm so we need to really pay attention to what we're doing in our lives if we can, if we can somehow trust our practice and the Dharma and our teachers we can swim down there with the Nagasar so whatever it is that you're having difficulty with in your life just lean into it, swim down in there and see if you can understand it at a deeper level

[07:58]

We come here to practice because of something or other. Usually some difficulty. Sometimes it's really bad. Like we've tried everything. Sometimes it's because of some tragedy we've met with. Sometimes we're just filled with, I don't understand what this is all about, this life. So we find ourselves sitting here facing the wall. What an interesting response. What else are you going to do? Time to be quiet and reflective and just be still, see what appears. we come to practice and maybe some of us really have had some difficulties, some thing we need to be very gentle with ourselves and kind of nurture our spirit, heal it somehow by being in this good container, this good peaceful container and we need to

[09:24]

build up our ego a little bit because it's been kind of wounded and then we're taught that we really have to look at the ego and see it causes problems so all at once we're trying to heal ourselves and at the same time we're trying to manage our egos So in this place, I worked out so many things. When I think about it, it's almost hilarious how ridiculous we can be. And Sojin was very patient and very kind with me year after year after year. And I really needed that. And I think that teachers, you know, The teachers are entrusted with the dharma, with the teaching, with helping others.

[10:30]

So as much as you can tolerate whoever your teacher is, turn towards them and let them help you. That's what they're here for, even though it's really hard. Sometimes it seems like they're not helping at all. So even that, look at that. Why are you being so critical? I'm not doing that. Why are you telling me I'm doing that? But sometimes that can be the richest time. So, there came a point where... It's okay, I'm talking about this. This is okay to talk about. Okay. There came a point where... It just felt like, you know, hammering me on the head. Bam, bam. And it was really painful. Very painful. And I wasn't getting it. Really wasn't getting it. And so, you know, if you have some difficulty, this is what Zen practice is about.

[11:39]

So, some aspect of it. It's a lot deeper than anything I can actually say to you here. But this is what it's about. We're looking at ourselves at every detail, every single little detail. So, you know, we just kind of go along. Oh, you know, I don't have to worry. I don't have big problems. I just have little problems. But they collect like a snowball. And then you just got this big thing that's coming after you or everybody else around you. So year after year, we worked on these issues and it was a rich, wonderful time. And then I was kind of stuck and needed to move on.

[12:41]

I don't recommend what Sojin Roshi sometimes called shopping around. Oh, this teacher, that teacher. I'll go here and do a little list, a little of that. Pick one thing and just follow it to the bitter end. It's really a good way. Because there's no escape hatches. Just pick it and follow it through to the end, through thick and thin. It's really a good way. Not the only way, but really a good way. But you know, sometimes working with another teacher can be really useful. So I went to see Grace and we talked about working together. And I started going up there. And at first, you know, it was kind of nice. Warm and friendly. And then she started. And as she says, Emptiness Zendo, no one gets out alive.

[13:49]

And I can see that. I've experienced it. Thank goodness. So I still have a lot of stuff, you know, that's sticking. I'm sticking to it. It's sticking to me. But I keep working at it. There's a wonderful quote in one of the Suzuki Roshi books by Tatsugami Roshi. who said, a tiger catches a mouse with her whole strength. A tiger does not ignore small creatures. A tiger catches a mouse with the same energy he catches a cow with and devours it. So, and then he goes on to say, so you have some problem and you might think, I don't need to exert myself.

[14:55]

This is small, but you know, this is how we see and how we deal with wars and things like that. Oh, well, we're just, we're not doing ground combat. We're not, we're just shooting missiles at people. That's all. But, you know, this kind of activity, this kind of action creates problems for ourselves and others. So what do I want to say about that? It could take a long time to iron out your difficulties, but maybe not. I've been doing this a long time. Seems like a long time. Not as long as some people, but I just want to encourage you to not waste time, because we're just here for such a brief time.

[16:07]

When you're sitting Zazen, you can Sit there, it feels so good, you know, we're so busy these days to just relax. But you should be careful to notice if you're what the Melakirti calls employing your liberative technique. I mean, are you just sitting there or are you really putting an effort into it? so Satsang can purify you if you put an effort into it and you know we talk about there not being a goal but there is somewhere we're going some place we're going with this

[17:11]

So whatever it is, whatever it is that's troubling you, just keep leaning into it, awakening to it, noticing, paying attention, put your attention there. What is this? Why am I feeling so anxious in this situation? Why does that person bother me so much? Why do I feel I have to poke my head out and be different? Why am I doing that? I'm doing that. I notice I'm doing that. Why am I doing that? And work on it. Because that's what we're wearing down the ego, or as Mel calls this. Bam. It's squeezing the ego out of you. So we need our ego, but we need our ego to find our shoes, to cross the street, to get stuff done. but we don't need it to cause trouble so through practice we can have our own direction and not be pushed and pulled around by our egos so much and feel free that's really the payoff is you can go anywhere and do anything and feel free and not feel rubbed the wrong way by things or influenced

[18:45]

Then you find yourself, you're doing something that's causing karma. You're in a pile of karma. It goes up so high. Anyway, that's all I know about problems, sorry. I feel pretty light and happy in my life and it's because I've had really good teachers who put in a huge effort to help me. You kind of, I don't know, I guess we want to do this. Help people. It's pretty wonderful. So I just wanted to say a little bit about my group. We meet up mostly on Wednesday nights. We also meet on Tuesdays in a different place now. And we come together and we socialize a little bit. And because it's really our only chance to do that, just a little bit, 15 minutes or so.

[19:52]

Then we read. This is done, we do it in a little bit backwards way. We read a little bit, then we sit sadhana. And then as we're cleaning up, we socialize a little bit more. Then we go. And that's it. One Wednesday evening a week. And then we do one day sittings and half day sittings in the same spot. Anyway, has anybody ever gone to the Monday night group or is it the Wednesday night group here? Yeah. Or led the Wednesday night group or Monday night group? Yeah. So it's kind of like that. Very simple. But very sincere people who stood up right. It's a wonderful, wonderful group. And Judy is here today. She's somebody who sits with me. Has been for quite a while. I sat in other places. So a gentleman who comes to my group whose name happens to be Mel, only we call him Melvin to differentiate, wrote this poem.

[21:03]

He's a poet. He wrote this poem about a book we were reading. That's not really what it's about. It's called Returning to Silence by Katagiri Roshinji. It's called How She Taught Katagiri. Copies of Katagiri's book were passed around the room. Over a period of months, we read the book to each other, trudging haltingly through each paragraph, mispronouncing words, skipping over words, adding words that weren't there, slurring sentences. Some read so quietly that I could not hear them. Others read so awkwardly that I would become annoyed. Some could not read because they'd forgotten their glasses. Although I could make rational sense of the words, it was hard to feel inspired or enlightened by them. The meditation afterwards was painful and difficult. The weather outside was either too cold or too hot.

[22:05]

Sometime later, after we completed the project, she came up to me after the meeting and said, I have something for you, if you want it." Then she handed me Kadagiri's book. I took the book home and opened it up and started reading it as though it were new. It was then I had the experience of my life existing beyond human evaluation. It no longer felt so important whether or not we like each other or anything about our lives. We exist beyond human evaluation whether or not we even like ourselves. First the teacher gives the book to the group. Then the student reads the book to the group. Then the group reads the book to the student. Then the teacher gives the book to the student. Only then does the student read the book for the first time. It takes a lot of patience to teach in this way. Actually, teaching in this way is itself a teaching.

[23:11]

Buddha has given us permission to learn exactly like this. And he wrote that in March this year. So... It made me very happy to get this poem. Because, you know, our practice is so... We just do a little bit in a steady way. over years and something happens and we start to understand it. It's really wonderful. It's so simple. Anyway, would someone like to say something or comment? I'm going to say something about the process. In 2003, when the war started, a gentleman named Jeff Heaton put several crosses on a hillside in Lafayette and somebody tore them down.

[24:32]

So he was really discouraged. In 2006, he couldn't take it anymore. So he called all the peace groups in our area and said, please come and help me do this. If we put up 350 crosses, nobody's going to be able to take them all down. So that's what we did. We just started cutting up any kind of wood we could find into two feet by four feet pieces and hauling them up the hill. It's really quite steep. It's hard on the ankles. Very strenuous work. So then we decided to paint them white. And then we decided to have work parties every Sunday until we could get to put in a cross for every soldier that had died. And that was, I think at the time, 2,500 crosses.

[25:38]

So after that, Of course, soldiers kept dying over there. And we just stepped up our game and continued to put crosses in the hillside until I think now there's over 4,000 crosses. The deaths are, now it's the Afghanistan and Iraq Peace Memorial. So I think the number is 5,800 something. That number is according to the DOD, Department of Defense. It's not really... There's many more people have died. So it's the people who have died in combat there. So the people who are injured and go to Germany to the hospital are not counted.

[26:39]

And suicides are not counted. and people who are dying from depleted uranium are not counted. So it's a huge tragedy. If you have not been there, it's very moving to go up there on the hillside and just walk around. And some of the crosses have been personalized by Gold Star families. And I always wanted to do some great, huge social action activity. So I'm really happy to be part of the project. And last year, Jeff and I received the Peace and Justice Award out in our area, which was really a happy moment. It was an incredible thing to accomplish. And now we're turning in the direction of having a permanent memorial, which is tricky because memorials can tend to glorify war and that's not what we want to do.

[27:56]

So something like the Vietnam War Memorial is perfect. It's honoring and yet it's just dark and stark and you get the message, I think. We're thinking about that, starting to do things like that, put that into motion, having a permanent remorse. It's in Lafayette. It's so easy to get to. Get on a cart, get off at Lafayette and walk across the street. It's just a whole hillside of crosses, and you can see it on the 24, if you're on the 24. You can also see it from the bar when you get to that station. Yeah, that was the part of the point. Has there come to be more acceptance, or is there still any opposition to this?

[29:02]

I think there is opposition, but There isn't that much activity around opposition. I think Lori was there when the Move America Forward books came. So we had vigils, but this particular vigil turned into a rally. It was crazy. Lori's like, why are all these people yelling? That's not what I expected. So we had vigils there. You know, we haven't had anybody come and shout epithets or various things that people do when they're angry. Yeah, so. And Lafayette, the people of Lafayette really appreciated being there for the most part. Yeah. Hi, Charlie. Hi, Micah. It's very nice to see you up there with your new outfit.

[30:06]

It's well during springtime. I just wondered, everybody gets a cross, no matter whether they're Christian or not, is that right? No, well... It's hard to explain this. So, when somebody dies, it's not like we put a cross up there. So, we put up crosses and then we also have some Dharma wheels and some crescent stars and stars of David so it's not like each cross is tied to somebody so we have all those symbols but they're not necessarily personalized they're not see what I mean so yeah Is there anything to remind people of?

[31:07]

Sometimes I read the number of one million Iraqis who died as a consequence of the war. Uh-huh. Not in that place. Okay. When you're doing something like this, there is a kind of a balance. I think people realize that. Most people realize that. And would you like us to do something like that? Yeah. Okay. We have done some very somewhat radical things and it tends to make people angry. It upsets them. So we kind of push a little and then we if it's too much then we pull back and then we We try again later. And then usually it just takes a little bit of getting used to.

[32:13]

So we try not to, because that's our promise to ourselves and the community is to be peaceful and not to have our voices heard but not upset people and disturb their minds. I don't know if erasing the lives of one million people is a good way to keep people peaceful. I don't know. It's difficult. Yeah. It doesn't have to be an aggressive thing. Yeah, yeah. When we have vigils, we do talk about that. That's definitely emphasized. We do talk about that. But to put a sign up or something, it's almost like that should be its own memorial for that. So this is a memorial for these soldiers and men.

[33:16]

That's what we were thinking about it anyway. Maybe we should do a memorial for that. So we emphasize that at the vigils and the talks and whatnot. But I think once in a while they have a big sign, put up a sign or something. Vigils help I think visuals really help. I've forgotten. Is this property owned by this man? Or is this public property? No, he doesn't own it. It's owned by Louise Clark, who is a resident there, old time resident. And she and her husband were, he's since passed away, but we're very good friends of Jeff's parents. So it was, I sort of remember several years ago, the controversy that it is private property. Some people do have the right to do it, or that was the controversy. Yeah, that's what's so special about it. Yeah, we can do whatever we want.

[34:21]

In discussion, I've heard the suggestion or idea of just having a small sign or something that gives the total, total, not by country, including possibly everybody, civilians? For the memorial? Well, that's a great idea. And we wanted to do that. And then we spent so many, till almost midnight at city council meetings. So because of the memorial, there's now a sign ordinance in Lafayette. that one sign that we have, which used to be, I think, four times as big, is the only sign we can have. Because of the ordinance. Yeah, the discussion specifically, one of the ideas was to have a cross that just had the number. Oh, I see.

[35:24]

You know, every month or every six months. The real number or the DOD number? Oh, I see. Oh, that's a good idea. Nancy. Do you all have a website? There is a Crosses Lafayette website. We had a blogspot, but it, you know, people come and they go, and we go, where'd they go? This is not working anymore. What happened? So we have a website now that's getting started, and Ko just put a slideshow on it, too, so there's some really nice photos. Hi. Probably a lot of people in this room are aware that Bernie Glassman does some meditation retreats to Auschwitz. Mostly silent. And he says that we don't do a lot of teaching during those retreats because Auschwitz is the teacher. Which makes me curious if you all ever have meditation rituals or something like this.

[36:27]

This is not in the works. Every Sunday, no. The first Sunday, we used to have work parties every Sunday. But now it's more maintaining what's there. So we have them once every month. The first Sunday of the month is our work study. And the first half, or at 9.30 to 10 is meditation. So it starts with meditation, led by Nora Mukai Rosenbaum, who's an old Berkeley Zen center member. So Nora is schlepping her It's the first Sunday of the month, 9.30. Is it on the website? Yeah, I think so. 9.27. Thank you for your talk. You're very light and delicate like the birds chirping outside. It's really good to see you. Yeah, it's really nice to see you too. We should talk later. Okay.

[37:38]

So when practice is hard, when someone is criticizing you, just say thank you. Just keep going. Little by little. Little by little. And when it's really hard, ask your wonderful friends here for help. oh god this is so hard um i'm trying not to get stuck there thank you

[38:14]

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