We left off with, what is, what is he doing? And this is it. The way-seeking mind is characterized by the word how. And how is the most important word for a Zen student. And it's the basis of Genjo Koan.

[01:05]

How. And it's a question, but it's also not a question. The answer is in the question. So if we look outside of the question for the answer, we go pretty far astray. But if we stick with the question, how? It's like closer than hands and feet. One thing that I would like to do before we start is open the windows up on top. I can already feel myself heating up. Just a few is okay, three or four. Thank you.

[02:15]

So, in our journey in this life, we're always looking for what to do. What should we do? When you're a little kid, somebody asks you, what are you going to be when you grow up? And you may have some idea about it. When I was in the fourth grade I wanted to be a dentist. Because we were studying teeth. And then I wanted to be a weatherman because we were studying the weather. So, there are a lot of interesting things to do in this world. And we can take on one after another. Somehow I was never at a loss as what to do in this world. There was always something interesting at hand that I felt that I could do. When I was young, I wanted to be an artist, and I actually did that.

[03:25]

And I also wanted to be a soldier, so I did that. I never thought that I would be a Zen priest. But when I was an artist, I was always looking for something. No matter what I was doing, I was seeking something, looking for something. And nothing was really satisfying. And I also researched religion a little bit. And religion seemed to have some way about it. And I knew that that was the way. Somehow I knew that all other paths kind of led into that major path.

[04:39]

In the same way that we say that all streams reach the ocean. So every one of us comes from some place and we're going to some place, it seems like, and our journeys are circuitous or straight, mostly roundabout. And at some point we find ourselves together in a certain place doing a certain thing all together. Sometimes you could say, this is our meeting here, is it accidental or what is it?

[05:44]

auspicious maybe, some purpose in it, some reason why we all are here together at this particular time, in this particular place. I'm not saying that it's fate. It's not fate. When we first come to practice, we don't necessarily know what practice is. But if we stay with practice, we begin to understand it. So in the beginning, we come for, each one of us maybe has a different reason. They're related reasons. the reasons are related, but somewhat different according to our experience and our understanding.

[06:53]

But each one of us is seeking something, and this seeking is like seeking, seeking, seeking. seeking something. Maybe we want to find out how to do, how to improve ourselves, or to do better work, or to relate to people better, or some kind of help that we need. We feel that we need something, and this need brings us to practice.

[08:03]

And then when we understand what practice is, We no longer practice because of our need. We're no longer driven by our need. Which means that we've found the way. When we're no longer driven by our need, we've awakened way-seeking mind. And which means that instead of practicing for the sake of our self, our needy self, we practice for the sake of practice. This is called arousing the way-seeking mind.

[09:17]

And when we just take care of practice itself, forgetting about our self, our own self, and forgetting about needs so much, then practice takes care of us and takes care of others. Everyone is benefited without trying to benefit anyone. And so when we come to practice, we have a kind of self-centered desire. Self-centered desire is the need, we need something, we want something for ourself. And what we find at the heart of practice is no self that needs anything.

[10:32]

I don't mean that we don't need to sleep and eat and take care of our normal self, normal needs. We all have normal desires. And when we talk about desire, we're not talking about normal desire, but We're talking about clutching and grasping and chasing after phantoms. The point of Dharma, Buddha Dharma, is to see everything as it really is. So what way-seeking mind seeks is reality. Our delusions actually bring us to practice. And we offer up our delusions on the doorstep of practice.

[11:54]

And we say, this is my offering. What do we have to offer? This is my offering. Please accept my delusions. so that I can see things as they really are. So this is our purpose of practice. The beginning and end of practice is to see things as they really are, just to live in reality. And as our delusions appear, to offer them up on the altar of reality, one after another. So don't worry too much about your delusions.

[13:03]

Don't try to get rid of them or shake them off. The more you try to shake them off, the more they cling, actually. the more you try to get rid of your desires, the more they cling, the stronger they get. It's like the story of the north wind, or the wind and the sun. The wind and the sun had a contest to see who could make the shepherd take off his coat I talked about this on Sunday during the discussion. And the wind said, well, I'll go first. And so he blew and blew as hard as he could. And the more he blew, the more the shepherd clung to his coat. He blew so hard that the whole earth turned into snow and ice and sleet.

[14:08]

And the shepherd just getting colder and colder, holding on to his coat for dear life. And after about a month, The wind gave up. And then the sun said, well, now it's my turn. So the sun just looked at the shepherd and kind of beamed sunlight at him, warmth at the shepherd. And the shepherd said, boy, it's really getting warm out here. And then he started getting a little uncomfortable and took off his coat, put it down. The moral of the story is, if you try to get rid of things by shaking them off, you just cling to them tighter. So we have to respect our delusions, respect our desires, and be careful with ourselves, be compassionate with ourselves.

[15:17]

And then we can be compassionate with others when we see the problems and troubles that other people are having. Most of our problems come from ignorance. And what we bring with us is our ignorance. in the form of delusions, desires, clinging, rejection, passions, hate, greed, delusion, So a way-seeking mind is the desire to turn desire, to wake up.

[16:29]

We actually turn our desire into the wish to awaken. It's that simple. I have the wish to awaken. It's called sometimes the thought of enlightenment. I don't like to use that word so much. Just the wish to awaken. And then we follow that wish. So whatever desire you have in your life, underneath that desire, is this wish. It's our true desire. We can have many desires, and we do, and when we see the objects, certain objects that attract us, we focus on those objects and desire arises.

[17:37]

But the true object of our desire is underneath those desires. and it's the desire to wake up, whether we recognize it or not. So, what brings us to practice, what brings all of us here to practice, whether we're conscious of it or not, is the desire to awaken. And in our practice, if we really pay attention to practice, Awakening is within the practice. We don't have a special, there's no special form of Zen. Just like reality has no special form, but takes many different forms.

[18:46]

If you try to get to the form of reality, you can't say what it is. But all these forms are some form of it. So in order to recognize something, there's no special form of Zen, but in order to engage in our practice, we have a certain form. And knowing how to live within the forms, how to engage the forms, how to become the form, is how we practice. So there's what we call formal practice, certain ways that we practice sitting, eating, certain kinds of practices that we do in zendo, which are very formal, which is a structure, a way of doing things, which helps us to see or know what it is that we're doing.

[20:14]

So the atmosphere in the zendo, the forms create a certain atmosphere in the zendo which turn our mind and attention toward seeing reality. Just like if you go into a bank, the bank has a certain atmosphere, or a movie theater has a certain atmosphere. Even though you could see a movie, on the side of a building. You don't have to go into a movie theater to see a movie. You can see it on the side of a building. But when you walk into the movie theater, it prepares your mind. And as soon as you walk into the movie theater, especially the old-fashioned ones, the old-fashioned movie theaters were meant to create an atmosphere in which As soon as you walk in, you feel the presence. Something's going to happen. Something wonderful is going to happen.

[21:22]

And you sit in the chair, and the lights go low. Then it comes on, and you're prepared. So when you walk in the zendo, there's a certain way to walk in the zendo, a certain way to hold your hands, a certain way to move your feet, and to watch your breathing, and to approach your seat. Every move has mindfulness about it. And these forms are our teacher. If you know how to completely give yourself to the forms, you will learn something about how to practice in the realm of reality. And I was talking about wholehearted We use the word wholehearted at tea time. Wholehearted means with nothing left out.

[22:23]

In order to practice within the realm of reality, there should be nothing left out, even though We feel separate from things. We're not separate from things. We breathe, we eat, we see, we hear. Our whole being is connected to everything in the universe. But our sphere is very small. Our range Our perception is very limited. Our range of perception is limited to our small awareness. Nevertheless, it's completely connected. Each one of us is completely connected to each other and to everything around us and to everything in the universe.

[23:33]

When we breathe, we say, I am breathing. But even if you want to stop, try it. I am not breathing. Breath is breathing me. Breath is breathing. The universe is breathing me. I really have very little to do with it, what I call myself. There's very little to do with it. I can influence it. Emotions influence it. Thoughts influence it. Stimulus influences it. But it just goes on and on. whether you think about it or don't think about it.

[24:40]

To understand how what we really are, who we really are, is to wake up, to know the unlimited the no boundary of our body and mind is to wake up. When we were having tea, I asked that we please put our cup in the back of the tray. When we do something, quite often we're thinking about how we do something. We see ourselves isolated from what's closest to us.

[25:51]

So if we put our cup in the middle of the tray, We're not thinking about who's coming next or how to leave space for the person next to you or the person at the end of the line. We're just thinking about what we're doing, what's good for us. The person at the end of the line is also our self. In this kind of practice situation, it's like many pieces of one stone, like one stone that's shattered into 50 pieces.

[27:06]

and the 50 pieces all get up and dance and as they dance they rub up against each other and they all have rough edges and as they dance with each other the rough edges get worn down and they become smoother and smoother and smoother So, stepping into this practice situation is to step into the realm of realization. That's the beginning of the practice. And then to, moment by moment, refine that practice, refine our understanding, is what we're doing. So the more we practice together, the more aware we become of how we affect each other and how we belong to each other.

[28:23]

And how whatever I do over here really has some big effect over there, or maybe just a little effect over there. But whatever we do, affects not just what I call myself, but affects everybody in this situation. And it's very important to understand that. So when we enter the zendo, We walk in a certain way, we sit down in a certain way, and we handle our body and objects in a way that is like taking care of ourself.

[29:31]

If I take care of you, then I'm taking care of myself. If I take care of objects with respect and if I place objects in space in relation to other objects in space with respect and mindfulness, life becomes very big. Sometimes we wonder why we're lonely. Why don't people love me? Actually, our own life is all around us. There's no need to be lonely.

[30:35]

But because we see ourselves as separate. We become very lonely, very isolated. But our own life is right around us. Right now, this room is our whole world. At this moment, our whole world is just this space. And each one of us affects everyone else. So in our practice, during this practice period, I would like us to be very aware of how we hold our body when we walk.

[31:39]

and aware of the center of our body, which is just below our navel, and to pay attention to that all the time. This is our constant focus. When you sit down or stand up or walk or sleep, to be aware of how you move around the center of your body. how all activity, all action that you do takes place around the center of your body, especially when you're working, even if you're sitting at a desk or something like that. And then to be aware of how you move objects, and aware of how you move with objects, and aware of how you move with other people, how you carry your dishes and plates, and aware of that center when you're lifting up your fork

[33:08]

putting your tortillas in your mouth. To always be aware of where your center is, every movement you make. This is what we do in Zazen. When we sit in Zazen, that's what your work is. To always center yourself around your center. Constantly, never losing sight of that. That's the basic thing in Zazen. And then when you move out of Zazen, throughout all your movement, to be centered on that still place. So no matter what kind of movement you're engaged in, or activity, that you're aware of the still center of your body, so that all of your movement is coming from that stillness.

[34:30]

And stillness and movement are not two things. So to keep this kind of awareness, This kind of mindfulness is the how of practice. As I said in the beginning, our main word of practice, the most important word in our practice is how. How can I practice? That's it. How can I practice? And whenever you forget, you come back to this.

[35:59]

So to keep making that effort constantly. There's no time when you're not practicing throughout all of the day and night, throughout all of our activity. to practice constantly. That means there's no separation between body and mind, or between spirit and earth. You can't tell which is your thought and which is your movement. So I would like to urge you

[37:17]

to please pay attention to the formal side of practice. Sometimes, our formal side of practice puts us off. We say, well, what are these Japanese forms? We're Americans, or Europeans, or whatever we are. But the forms are a very convenient, visible way of understanding what we're doing. And when you accept the forms and do them as well as you can, you can feel a lot of gratitude that something has been given to us that we would have a very difficult time finding on our own. So in the Zen Do, there are very prescribed kinds of forms.

[38:32]

And we practice them with real attention and completeness. And then when we leave the Zen Do, you have to find your own forms. Everything that you do can become the form of practice. And real practice is to be able to find the truth, the reality, within all forms. So in the zendo, the forms inform us. And outside of the zendo, we inform the forms. we create practice out of whatever is at hand. So these two sides, coming into the zendo and leaving the zendo, both sides are practice.

[39:47]

When we come into the zendo, we fit right into the forms of practice and we know what practice is. And then when we leave the Zen Do, we move into all kinds of forms. And we create practice through those forms. So a very interesting kind of practice. No need to be at a loss as to what to do. Do you have some questions? You have another question. Where is he coming from? When you're talking about informing the forms, it seems to me that the forming of forms requires cohesiveness.

[40:57]

And it's hard for me to understand where to... Well, how do you blend it to the motive and form? Yeah, good question. Our need to do something comes from desire. And desire leads to attachment. Right? That's it. But you said you had been modest before, so I'm thinking about that.

[42:04]

Passion, passion is very necessary, you know, or desire anyway. I don't know about passion. We say passions are the Bodhi, but passion means suffering, but we ascribe it, we use the word for sexuality or attachment, but it really means suffering in its true sense. Somehow it got transferred to mean something else, but passions, desire leads to suffering, but not necessarily. Instead of getting rid of suffering, we turn, I mean, instead of getting rid of desire, we turn it toward Bodhi.

[43:16]

So in that sense, the passions are the Bodhi when desire is turned toward way-seeking mind. Desire can go anywhere, you know. It can go toward grasping or wanting various things, and the wanting of various things underneath is wanting enlightenment, whether we know it or not. So when desire gets turned toward the way, it becomes way-seeking mind. There's no seeking without desire. So, the way we put ourselves into our activity is without the thought of gaining anything.

[44:20]

We just do it. And it's what I was talking about when I said, when we come to practice, we have some self-interest in mind. But when we understand what it is, we let go of our self-interest and just do, just take care of the Dharma. So, to do something unselfishly is to take care of the Dharma. It's a simple word. It's called unselfishness, but in Buddhism it means something very deep. Unselfishness means without the sense of self. and enlightenment is understanding what the self is about. So, selfishness is ignorance. It means that we see a self when there actually is no self. And we try to create one through grasping at things and acquiring things and building up an identity

[45:37]

from the outside, so-called outside. That's called building a self, self-centeredness. So whatever we do comes from our... You don't have to think about anything. Bowing is just giving yourself up. When we bow to the altar, You can say, well, we're bowing to Buddha. But actually, it's just bowing. There's no sense of gaining anything or that there is Buddha there and I am here. So we can say we bow to ourselves. understanding of what a bow is, is that we bow to ourself. But then the question comes up, what is myself?

[46:39]

So that's your koan. Right, do it with great mindfulness and great presentation. Putting the cup on the tray, in a very simple way, can be a great act. exactly the same as bowing. How do you bow without bowing? That's our daily practice. In Zen, though, it's always every time we turn around, you know. But when you're outside, moving around, how do you have that same attitude without doing this? How do you treat everything that you confront? didn't come into contact, but in that same way, with no self.

[47:44]

Now, if you can approach everything, whatever you do, with no sense of reward, or what will I get out of this, or what good will this do, then we can practice very easily. Just doing is basic attitude. Just doing. There are two things, two things that go on in our activity. One is that we try to accomplish something. And the other is that, well, we try to accomplish an end, you know, a result from our action. That's one aspect of doing something. The other aspect is we accomplish ourself, which is to spring to life.

[48:59]

And both are necessary, but accomplishing ourselves is the main object of our desire in our practice, in all of our activities. You're accomplishing yourself completely by letting go of yourself. That's a vow is to just give up the world. It's an offering. Washing dishes, just an offering. In some way, the art is a spirit.

[50:35]

And I was wondering if what you're talking about, the interaction with art, what the attitude towards art that is in keeping with this. Yeah, well, the attitude about art is not that there's something wrong with art. but that in order to allow ourself to really be present in this practice, we stop all other activity, all other ways of expression. We put down our individual desire to do something creative and just enter into this Art is very rewarding in some way. There's no reward practice.

[51:41]

Later, after you have a good understanding of practice and a good understanding of yourself, then you can take up art again. But within the practice, we limit ourselves. We give up all of our accomplishments. In other words, if we're good at something, that's not what we do here. If you're good at cooking, you don't work in a kitchen. You work in a field, someplace where you're not good at something. Not always. Sometimes, you know, it doesn't always work that way. But ideally, you give up what you lean on.

[52:49]

So we take away all of our props and have to find ourself in a different way, without anything special. Yeah, you keep asking that question. That's our basic koan. We always keep coming back to that. The fundamental koan is how, who, you know, who is this, what am I doing, you know, how can I, these are all aspects of the same koan. And the less you have left to depend on, the more you're put in a position to deal with that.

[54:17]

So in a sense, this is the stage of taking everything away. Sometimes we take everything away, and sometimes we grant everything. But right here, this is the stage of taking everything away. When you enter into practice period, you take everything away. And just, what do you depend on? When you're sitting in a zindo, in the middle of sashim, and you don't know what to do, what do you depend on? So, this is Very important. Glad you asked the question. Okay, one more. So we have to be careful not to smell a zin.

[55:39]

So each stage we get to has its own problem. And the stage of being a teacher has its problem. Just as you said, I am somebody. You have to be very careful. And the higher you go, the more careful you have to be. Because it's farther down to the bottom. Well... Oh, I see. In other words, if you pass things up, right? You put it into what's in front of you.

[56:42]

You just take care of what's in front of you. Yeah. So you can make a great act out of a very small Your whole body, your whole being can go into one step. A strong person has a lot behind, you know, and yet can move very delicately, carefully. But those moves have wonderful quality to them.

[57:50]

So, conserving energy is part of our practice. An important aspect of our practice is how you conserve energy. hard to have a big reserve of energy and yet move the biggest things with the least amount of effort. And that's the secret of Zazen. It's how you can sit all day without getting tired. It's to find out how to do the most work with the least amount of energy, effort. Not that there's no effort, but it's done just right. That's why, if you learn the forms very carefully, and don't ignore them, you can find out how to do that. And I've always been surprised when you mention it to me, why you don't teach that.

[59:00]

I always do. And I will. I definitely will. Thank you.

[59:17]

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