So about that chair sitting, I sent out on the website this image of the five little men watching something and their responses to it. So for those who haven't seen it, this is a way that the San Francisco Chronicle, the local newspaper, rated films by the reviewer, either really bad, I'm out of here, didn't stay, really boring, I'm falling asleep. Wow, this movie is incredible, or this dramatic theater is really incredible. I'm jumping out of my seat to, wow, wow, interesting. And then there's somebody in the middle that's just sitting upright. It's like so. So this Memoji has been around since 1942. And I hadn't really thought about it because I don't look at the Chronicle.

[01:08]

I remember seeing it years ago when I was working at the store. People would leave the paper. But when I started sitting in a chair, that day or the next day, the image of that little guy in the middle stood out. Oh, sitting upright in a chair. Here it was. You've got to learn how to do this now. and you get to watch the movie from your life sitting in a chair. That's appreciated. So, as you once said, it's not so much what happens to you as how you deal with it. Because different things happen to us in different times and different ways. If you compare and contrast how these things happen, what they're about, why we, and that sort of stuff, And while that's important, the more important thing is how do you deal with this?

[02:08]

How do you lessen or deal with this suffering that you're feeling in a way in which you can continue to carry on your life in a way that you really want to live in life? It's often thought of that the word crisis in Chinese character means opportunity. But on the closer examination, there's actually a little nuance to that, and we're not getting into the translations of stuff, which I'm not into. What I did learn is that it's closer to crisis, it's actually change point. The change point, when it feels like they're in a crisis. And, dharmically speaking, we can see that The point of practice is that things change and to go with those changes. So we hit a crisis.

[03:09]

This change point is waking us up to, okay, Ross, what do you do about this? So with my arthritic knee, which had been painful for quite a while, and I said, enough, Ross. Back in November, I, okay, I'm going to sit in a chair now. So I was disappointed at first. That was the first thought I had. And then I realized, you know, I'm actually connecting to people now sitting in chairs or on benches or laying down on the floor to some degree. Everybody has their own experience. But now, rather than thinking about what it must be like to sit in a chair, what it must be like to have to get up and get down and stretch and do all this sort of thing or find a bench that fits, well, Now I have the experience of it versus thinking about it. So I felt this connection to Sangha in a deeper way than I had before because it wasn't just an idea.

[04:11]

It was a body experience. It was this body experience that I was having. So the little man is reading movies or theater. And the little man is This little man here is rating my movie. And am I jumping up and down because I'm all excited about that Soja Moshi said, okay, you can have a lady trustment ceremony? Am I madly happy that I'm feeling some comfort today and I'm around my Dharma friends and family? Am I a little sleepy? Am I checked out? Well, it's... I'm definitely not checked out. I feel very awake and alive and happy to be here with my darling family. And so all those states of mind and body that happen, constantly changing. So what's the standard by which we practice?

[05:16]

So the man, the monk, the monk in the middle, the monkey in the middle reminded me of childhood game playing around in school called Monkey in the Middle. So you're in the middle, people are surrounded and they throw a ball at you. And I saw a softball, but it's a ball. And if you catch it, then you get out of the middle, and then you have to go into the middle and pursue through it. So that was just a game from decades ago. And I'm thinking, Monkey in the Middle. And I'm thinking, well, drop the EY, and it's Monkey in the Middle. Well, we all are monks or nuns in the middle, in the middle of our life, and how do we deal with the balls that are being thrown at us? Do we dodge the ball or do we catch the ball? Well, in practice, we just receive the ball. There's impulse to dodge something we don't like or grasp something that we do like. That's called clinging.

[06:18]

That's called attachment. How do we just sit here and just receive? This really miserable mood in my life that's going on now. Oh jeez, this is not nice. I want to change the channel. Okay, this is fun. Yeah, I remember that. That's really great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go through all that sort of stuff. Upgrade posture and watch. So movie directors want you to jump out of your seat, and Buddha wants you to stay in your seat. When I thought of that, it reminded me of Sojin's admission that maybe his first sashimi, back in 64, he left sashimi. He was in San Francisco at Sakoji on Bush Street, and he went walking around, I think Hunter's Point was one landmark that he mentioned,

[07:20]

He was walking around San Francisco. He didn't talk about what was going on in his mind so much, but one could imagine, as we all have been in situations we want to not be in, I'm going to leave and walk around and just get some air. And he realized that there was still a place to go. He didn't want a place to go except to come back to his end zone. That's what he did. And he stayed on his cushion for all those years. So this monk in the middle, if you can imagine like a seesaw, is like a fulcrum. So once life is balanced, if you're in the middle and not waving too much of the sign of excitement and entertainment, rather than the sign of boredom and like, I'm out of here, I don't like it here. So how do we just stay in the middle of that fulcrum? So it's a balancing act. This little book that was given to me by Bob Zepernick, the Shuso President, from Yogen Senzaki's book of talks.

[08:34]

And there's a section called Ten Questions, which is not unlike Ben Doa in Dogon, who has these awful questions. And the question... Someone asks is, what does a Buddhist believe or worship? Remember this is 1953. The words believe and worship are unfamiliar to Buddhists because they do not believe but understand. Understand from experience. And they do not worship, but they practice what they understand. 1953. As Kapoor Roshi said, the best book on Buddha Dharma is the one that you put down and start sitting. That inspired you to sit on him. Also in 1953, I found this warm and comforting.

[09:34]

He's talking about sitting in a chair. Now I'm not sitting in a chair as an alternative to sitting in a cushion. believed that he and others felt that came more from Japan and Asia in the 50s that Zazen wasn't available to Westerners because they were used to sitting in chairs and not crossing their legs. So he, it appears, tweaked Dogen's Fukan Zazenki, which are his instructions on sitting Zazen with a cross-legged death activity that he learned in China. But in General Senzaki Sensei, He says, sit down in a chair with a large cushion in a manner as comfortable as possible. I wonder if he's laughing or something like that. Wear the clothing loosely and remove your shoes, but keep your feet in a pair of worn slippers. That is like so cozy.

[10:37]

I'm going to go do that if I go home. In tea ceremony, Chen Oyu, the position that the tea master assumes is Seiza, which is sitting on your legs with your knees in front of you, upright. And that's very hard for people who aren't practicing Chen Oyu. And so in tea ceremony, for Westerners, they devised a table and chair. Surprise! And they did all the forms of it except You're not sitting down on the floor. And when I was thinking about this phenomenon in practice and cultural differences, inclusivity, exclusivity, I was reminded of a story of Sojin when he was doing, or he was a guest at a tea ceremony with Suzuki Roshi. And they're sitting on the floor, and I imagine people's knees were hurting a little bit.

[11:39]

But nevertheless, part of the ceremony is passing the tea bowl around and admiring it. And what does Sojin do by thought admission? Well, he picks a cup up like this, and he's, you know, looking around. You know, Sojin was an artist. I mean, I'm sure he appreciated the aesthetics, but being new to practice, he wasn't maybe so hip to the forms that Suzuki Roshi was trying to encourage him to follow. So Suzuki Roshi tells him, no, you don't bring a cup up to you like this and look around. Come down to it on the floor. You come down to it, and you admire it that way. It's stable on the floor. You have to get this up. It's stable on the floor, and you're coming to it. You're not bringing it to you. Like, I want this. It's selfish.

[12:40]

You come to it. You defer, and you come forward. It's a practice opportunity. In then my beginner's mind, in the posture chapter, Suzuki Roshi says, These forms are not a means of obtaining the right state of mind. To take this posture itself is the purpose of our practice. When you have this posture, you have the right state of mind. there is no need to try to attain some other special state. It's reminding me of a Joko Beck quote, who is purported to have said that Zen isn't something that you,

[13:54]

Zen is about taking things away, not putting things in. So by taking things away, by feeling still upright and not moving about and doing all sorts of things, you're in a sense taking things away or allowing things to drop away, if you will. And then what happens is the natural order of mind and body appear. So it's like you're doing something by not doing or non-doing. There's no need to attain a special state of mind. There's a cartoon to The New Yorker years ago that Gahan Wilson did of an old monk and a young monk sitting on the tatami mat. And the caption says, nothing happens next.

[15:02]

This is it. And the little young monk is like, We want something else to happen. And this is something that we've been reminded about over and over and over again. Nothing else happens, just this. But something is happening moment by moment. It's just that we're not watching for it because we're anticipating something. We want something else to happen. My grandmother, my Ukrainian grandmother, rest her soul, used to say, this is it. She wasn't giving a Dharma talk, and I doubt she had any experience with Buddhism, but I thought about this thing that she used to say, this is it. And the way she said it, what I got out of it was, this is it. And it was usually about something that wasn't going her way, or her grandson's way, or just the world's way. This is how it is.

[16:03]

She and her family, escaping the pogroms in Ukraine, came over to America, this is it. This is it. This is it. It's just a matter-of-fact acceptance of this is it, or things as it is, as Suzuki Roshi used to say. Suzuki Roshi continues. The most important point is to own your own physical body. If you slump, you will lose yourself. Your mind will be wandering about somewhere else. You will not be in your body. This is not the way. We must exist right here, right now. This is the key point. You must have your own body and mind. Everything should exist in the right place.

[17:04]

in the right way, then there is no problem. If the microphone I use when I speak exists somewhere else, thank you Yoni for the reminder, it will not serve its purpose. Now, that coincidence of Yoni's request for the microphone and reading Suzuki Roshi, this kind of thing happens a lot. This was not planned, and as I said earlier, if you stay with the practice, my experience is, as I've stayed with the practice, more and more these coincidences arrive, and the answer is revealed. There's a story about Richard Baker not picking up a telephone when it was ringing, and he was working on some koan, some questions. I don't know what it was, the story didn't include that.

[18:05]

And he finally got up to pick up the phone after 13 rings, and the answer was on the other end of the line. And it didn't say what it was, it was like, okay, it's like a call from emptiness. I'm not so woo-woo, I'm not so like, hmm, what's going on there? Just accept it. It's a support from the universe. So how do we exist right here in this place right now? What can we do? How do we do that? Through body, speech, and mind. Well, thinking kind of naturally happens and talking comes pretty easily, usually.

[19:08]

But the body and the actions, that's something that we can actually work to bring our posture and our comportment to the present. And we all have different ways of doing that. One thing I like to do after I eat out at a restaurant is to put the chair back in. on the table as I found it. And rather than kind of bunching up my napkin to see the utensils on the plate, when I let the server take it away, I tried to fold up the napkin, and I raised the utensils in some kind of aesthetic way on the plate, kind of on one another, kind of like we do an Oreo with our chopsticks. And I have a good sense that is just getting picked up and put in the dishwashing bin, and that's okay. But for myself and for my own centering and appreciation for what I just had at the restaurant, it's a way of giving back.

[20:15]

It's my way of thinking. So we all find our own way to find our center. Because Azen, according to Suzuki Roshi, never ended, even though we do have bells and timers, and thank you, Gary, for keeping time today. I'm aware of time, and I know that's where we're at on that. Another Suzuki Roshi quote from the Pastor Chapter. So try always to keep the right posture, not only when you practice Zen, but in all your activities. Take the right posture when you are driving your car and when you are reading. If you read in a slump position, you cannot stay awake long. Try.

[21:17]

You will discover how important it is to keep the right posture. This is the true teaching. The teaching which is written on paper is not the true teaching. Written teaching is a kind of food for your brain. Of course it is necessary to take some food for your brain, but it is more important to be yourself by practicing the right way of life. Asomen Roshi, the Rinzai teacher, came over from Japan in probably the 60s and the very active teacher in the 70s. And he was quoted a lot in New York where the head monk, and many students there had been studying with him.

[22:21]

And he died in the 80s. I came across a quote of his. Although I sometimes say that Zen is not to be found in a posture like that of Rodin's thinker. No, Rodin's thinking, kind of the Western model thinking about something, versus the Buddhist posture of not thinking or non-thinking upright. On the other hand, one of the most beautiful Bodhisattva statues, that of the Bodhisattva Maitreya, The bodhisattva of the future, which is found in Nara, which is a particular statue he's referring to, shows him precisely in the posture of the thinker. And we have a little picture of that, Maitreya Buddha, in the patio bathroom, and I should have taken a picture of it to show you, but basically it looks like this.

[23:31]

Camera down. Okay, so you don't see my head, but you've got the cross-legged, and he's got his hand up on his cheek, kind of like what we do. He's thinking. And so... So in Roshi's commentary on that... seeming anomaly is, he's probably thinking about how to save all sentient beings. This bodhisattva then meditates in the posture of the thinker. So my take on that is, it's okay to ponder, it's okay to think. It's what we think about that's the most important thing.

[24:32]

and how do we help others. Well, thank you all for your conscious listening. And if anyone has any questions or comments, you can raise your digital hand and I'll see it on the computer. And if anyone has a non-digital hand in the room, I see Peter Overton. Thank you, Ross. Yes, Peter. So I have been trying to figure out how to sit in your chair for a number of years now, since I found myself unable to sit cross-legged on the ground. And so I was very interested to talk because we heard the and I'm trying to ask a question about that because I find the difficulty that I'm facing now getting a clue about how to feel it is how to find and return to my seat in my upright and balanced posture and I thought

[26:04]

I'm going to ask this question. And I've also heard Ozan talk about giving yourself as you take your seat. So I'm wondering how you would, if you say anything different than what appears in the playgrounds of envy, if you were instructing people how to sit in this chair, how to find your seat. Peter was very interested in the theme for the talk today because he's been sitting in the chair for a while and is trying to find his seat, so to speak, and wondering if finding a seat in the chair is different than Dogen's teachings and the forms that he impressed upon people and now do I think it implies, how do I do it?

[27:05]

How have I been working with this for the past five months? Well, interestingly enough, I didn't think about going over Zazen posture so much when I was on the cushion, even though Soju Roshi would say, give yourself Zazen instruction when your mind starts wavering. But now that I'm kind of back at a beginner's place, so to speak, trying to find my seat in my chair, I find myself doing that. And even though I'm not working with cross legs, I am feeling the feet on the floor, I feel my butt on the front third of the chair, ears aligned with my shoulder, nose aligned with my navel, chin tucked in, and I do that. Now, it's more comfortable for me sitting in a chair than it was sitting cross-legged with the condition I've got, but that's just my koan. because it doesn't mean everything else is easy. There's a gazillion parts to our bodies and mind, and at any moment, one or two are being activated and remind us of our suffering and discomfort.

[28:14]

So, there's not enough time to go line by line through Fukan Sazengi, but I'm curious about your question, and I am going to look at it again. I like Senzaki's teaching of sitting in a chair, find your comfort, and wear some warm slippers. I mean, that's almost enough for me. I like incense. I'll probably all first think of incense. So it's not a practice of austerity, even though it looks like that because we're like this. We're not just like this. But nevertheless, we have an opportunity to find comfort within the discomfort that we feel. Is that it? Yeah, thank you. Nick Robinson. Hey, Ross. Hey, buddy. Thanks for your talk today. Thank you, too, and thank you for being our librarian.

[29:19]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. You're welcome. Your talk was very relevant to me. I've been chair sitting now for a couple of years, maybe a little bit more after a long time ago sitting on the cushion for a bunch of years. And one thing I wanted to share is in the cushion sitting days, I would often have a kind of an image of a deeply rooted tree. If I found myself lacking something in my rootedness, And I would call up that image and pretend to be that, that tree and have a very solid rooted feeling that was helpful to me in the days of sitting, uh, uh, half Lotus, uh, in the chair, uh, the image that comes to mind is more like a blade of grass, very light, very

[30:25]

uh able to be blown this way or that way because i don't have the same rooted feeling that the posture on the cushion uh provided for me it feels like uh almost like a weightless feeling yeah and uh that's very pleasurable actually oh man i am so glad you said all that i wanted to share that with you Yeah, and everybody else. Did everybody hear that? Yeah. It reminds me that in sitting in this wooden chair, which comes from trees and roots, the wood goes down to the floor, the four legs onto this wooden floor. So there actually is a rootedness, even though it doesn't seem like And I really like the image of the blade of grass moving, but it reminds me when Sojin said, if he came by and jumped your shoulder, you should fall and not be this rigid thing.

[31:31]

So those are really good reminders for all of us, whether we're sitting on a cushion, bench, chair, or laying down. Thank you, Nick. Thank you, Ross. You're welcome. were uh speaking i had an image come from an old woody allen movie where he uh he flashbacks to where he's in high school and he wants to join the marching band but he plays cello so he has to carry a chair the cello and scramble and you know and i just i thought say a word about posture and finding our balance um as what we carry with us how we relate to that good question uh judy uh reminisced about a woody allen movie where he wanted as a high school kid he wanted to be in the marching man but he had a tuba a cello and he had to carry a

[32:44]

He had some instrument. They had to carry a chair with him in the marching band, which of course is not the nature of marching bands that I grew up with. And if I could say something about... Oh, finding our balance... Finding the balance, yeah. Well, I remember it may have been Susan Green asking the question. She was a... memory here, now deceased, talking about how to do something when I'm up in a tree pruning and all of that because that's not sitting cross-legged. And I could like it. I don't know what her experience was. I can only talk about my own. When I was in peace, coffee over the counter, doing the coffee and tea thing with customers and whatnot, how do I maintain my practice at work? Well, In between customers, I would put my hands behind my apron in Shashu.

[33:47]

I would try to keep my back upright. I wouldn't keep my eyes lowered because I'd probably get fired for not making eye contact with customers. It's bad for business. And I would meet people. So that was a simple form that I did. The business around leaving a restaurant and leaving it better than I found it, or at least equal to, is a way of finding balance. Because for my sensibilities, leaving the chair askew and stuff all over the table feels out of balance. And there's something going on around presentation that exhibits balance, just like all the forms that we follow here at PZC. And formal ceremonies like tea ceremony or flower arrangements, that sort of thing. There's a form And for practice, for a practice point of view, my sensibilities lean toward that neat order right angle stuff.

[34:52]

And when things are not at the right angle, I sense it and I feel it. And so my practice is, Ross, do you have to tweak it and make it right angled or can you just let it go? And my apologies to each and every one of you If I've been short with anyone around reminders of form correction or form, just form reminders, I don't like the word correction, but reminders, I have a tendency to do that. And the last thing I see, Gary, the last thing I'd like to say about that is... not the sign, it's the thought which escapes me. If you stay in practice, stay with practice long enough, you'll see things change.

[35:59]

And one of the things that's changed in me is that I've become a little more accepting, a little more tolerant, and a little more open to different ways of thinking, different ways of being. different ways of demonstrating a world around a person. And even though it registers as different than me, to go back to the theme of posture, comportment, and inclusivity, how can I remain inclusive? How can I remain connected to someone who I have difficulty with, or I've had a history of being difficult with? Susan Marvin told a story about that same Susan Green yelling at Mel in his office years ago about something, and she was outside pulling weeds. And a few days after that, Susan asked Sojin, how could you take that and just all that, you know, whatever she said, abuse or argument, that energy, I just thought, ugh, how'd you do that?

[37:11]

And he said, I just looked at the other side of Susan. So what is that other side? We all have that other side, so-called other side. But when it's integrated into this side, then we can accept people's half good and half bad. And I can say, I'm still working on that. And I'm working on the half good and half bad that's in me and fully accepting that. Thank you all very much. and enjoy the rest of your life. Beings are numberless. I vow to awaken with them. Revisions are inexhaustible.

[38:13]

to make a couple of announcements. The first is that our dear friend and longtime Santa member, Paul Farber, passed away yesterday. He practiced here for a long time. His treasurer is married to Jerry Oliva. And he died from a combination of illnesses. are with Paul with Jerry and their family and there are a couple of cards out on the bulletin board shelf if you would like to send a message to Jerry and Paul's family please spread it over there we appreciate it and we'll let people know about whatever ceremonies might be coming One thing I wanted to say is that one of Suzuki Roshi's early disciples, Zenyu Paul Disko, whom some of you may know of.

[41:50]

He's a master builder and carpenter and really all around sand and treasure. Paul lives nearby and he's retired and he has if he could just come and sit here in the courtyard on Tuesday mornings. He'll be here for about 10.30 or 11. And just come and talk to him. Visit with him. And he'll come to Zazenai. But this is just a real, it's just a great opportunity to meet with somebody who really is at the heart of our tradition. get to know him and uh he would like to get to know you so yeah yeah didn't he uh design the altar yeah yes he designed this altar i don't think i think one of his assistants built this altar and he built uh structures around san francisco zen center green gulch and tasahara and uh

[43:05]

He's deeply rooted in practice, and that's what he's doing at this stage and stuff. So please come into this. Good morning. Welcome to Brickley's Ed Center. Welcome to those online with us, and welcome in particular to anyone who may be new here. My name is Pauline, and I'm one of the Saturday program directors. This coming Monday morning, Margo Winter will deliver a Way Seeking Mind Talk.

[44:09]

Next Saturday, Marie Hopper will deliver the lecture. BCC will be offering a Jesus ceremony in person on Sunday, March 19th from 1 to 4 p.m. Registration is required. To register, contact Dave Rutschman or Yushin Andrea Thatch. More information is available on the website. Registration is also now open for a one-day sasheen on Saturday, March 25th. The sasheen will be led by Jerry Oliva and will include both in-person and online participation. Check the website to sign up. SACA members who identify as Black, Indigenous, or people of color are welcome to meetings held on Mondays, 6.30 to 7.30 p.m. via Zoom. For more information, see the links for recurring activities in the chat. For more information about our programs and membership, please check the bulletin board outside, see the Zoom chat, or visit our website at berkeleyzencenter.org. To make a donation to support BCC, please use the donations box in the courtyard, which is under the bulletin board out of the rain today, or visit our website and go to the generosity tab.

[45:19]

Those in the Zendo, please maintain silence while you're off the porch, then feel free to socialize in the courtyard and, of course, sign the cards that are out there. If you happen to have picked up one of our folded chair cards from the alcove on the porch, please return it on your way out. If a couple of people are available to stay behind and help set the Zendo in order, that's always appreciated. And those online, now feel free to unmute and share meetings. Good morning, Sangha. It's good to see you all. Good morning, everyone. Good to see you. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Thanks for bearing with me on that one, everyone. That was Zendo first. Thanks for hanging in. Good morning, everyone. Take care. Thank you.

[46:21]

Have a good week. Be warm.

[46:27]

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