I vow to teach the truth about the Bhagavad-gita's words. Good morning. Tuesday I'm going to Tassajara to lead the practice period for three months. I'll be back from time to time Actually, I'll be back. I'll try to remember the dates 10th of October for about a week and the 30th of October until the 16th of November and then I'll come back for Thanksgiving and do the Rohatsu Sesshin.

[01:04]

And then, the day after Rohatsu Sesshin, I go back to Tassajara and do the Rohatsu Sesshin. Fourteen days of Sesshin. One day to drive. But I'll be back here for all of our one-day sittings. But this is my pep talk lecture. I feel why I can do this is because I feel very confident that all of you can take care of our practice. It makes me feel that I can do this. because I have so much confidence in everyone. It makes me feel free to be able to do this.

[02:10]

My connections with, although my heart is here in this Sangha, I have a very deep connection with Zen Center. San Francisco Zen Center in Tassajara. And that's my home temple, the Zen Center. And even though our group here and our sangha has always been, not always, since about 1971, has been independent still. My peers are... I still practice with my peers at Zen Center.

[03:19]

And for me, that's very important. Very important for me to do that. And I have always been very concerned about how the San Francisco Zen Center has developed and is developing. And I really feel obligated to help in that development because, for various reasons, But one reason that I think affects everyone is that a large place like Zen Center is very influential in the development of practice in America, really influential.

[04:23]

And to be able to have a part in that development is very important to me because How that goes affects us, even though we seem, on the surface, to be independent. All the practices in this country affect each other. And even though we're not directly connected with Zen Center, we have a strong spiritual connection, even though we're independent. We have a very strong spiritual connection. And so what happens to a place like that affects us very much. So I feel an obligation, not only an obligation, but a desire to continue my practice with Zen Center and to have

[05:29]

those people that I've practiced with so many years, to continue my practice with people that I've practiced with for so many years, on a level which is continuous. And so this opportunity for me to go to Tassajara, originally I was going to go with, I was going to share the practice period with the abbots, Tenshin Anderson. But Zen Center now is beginning to bloom again. And they are having for the first time a practice period at Green Gulch. A full practice period at Green Gulch. And also a practice period in the city. And there's really no time for the abbot to do anything in Tassajara. So he asked me to do it myself. which I agreed to.

[06:36]

So originally I wasn't going to do the whole practice period at Tassajara, but now I am, and I'm happy to do it, actually. I just hope that you'll be happy that I'm doing it. And I was given the freedom to determine how much time I could spend here, as well as at Tassajara. And it's not 50-50, but I feel that it's really important for me to be there as much as possible. And we have a good shuso. Do you remember Nonin? He came here and talked a few times. Katagiri Roshi's student. We asked him to be the shuso, the head monk for the practice period. And he accepted, and Katagiri Roshi said it was fine.

[07:40]

Then at the last minute, Katagiri Roshi called and said that he wanted Nonin to go to Japan. But we worked it out with him so that he didn't have to go to Japan. He can go next year after he's been shuso. So I'm very much looking forward to the practice period. I'm very much looking forward to see how everyone will take care of our practice here when I'm gone. I really have a request to make. And my request is that even though I know that you'll continue to practice in the way that you have been, my request is for you to please help each other, to encourage each other to practice, and to really make a big effort.

[08:47]

I think that the test of a place like this is how everyone takes care of the practice when the teacher is gone, not there. And it's a very, very good situation. Good, really good situation for me to leave and for everyone to respond to each other. And it helps us to see where we're at, you know. And we have some very good leaders here. And it's a wonderful opportunity for the leaders here to take that responsibility. I don't have too much more that I want to say.

[09:55]

You know, I could say a lot, but my real feeling is that I have a lot of trust in everyone. And I feel that I can just turn away. When I go to Tassajara, I don't think about this place. You know, when I went in November, my whole body and mind is at Tassajara. And I just don't think about the Berkeley Zindo. It's like some... I just don't think about it. And I don't know whether that's good or bad. But I think it's good because I feel that I don't have to worry about it. And the confidence that I have in everyone gives me that ability to not think about it and just be where I am.

[11:03]

I wonder if you have any questions. You said the Berkeley Zen Center is independent of the Zen Center. That means we're not financially connected to them at all. Never have been. I remember in the early 60s, when we were around 67 or 68, Suzuki Roshi, although we were an affiliate of Zen Center, we started out as an affiliate because I was a Zen Center student, and Suzuki Roshi asked me to find this place, find a place for us to practice in Berkeley, and we developed the Zen Center, and up until the time he died, we were an affiliate. But he asked me to work out the details with Richard Baker, He said, why don't you and he work out the details?

[12:16]

And so we had a talk one day and he said, he was the president of Zen Center at the time, and he said, well, I think that in order for a place to prove itself, it should be financially independent. And if you're dependent on Zen Center, you know, I don't know what that means. but he felt that it would be better to be financially independent. I don't know what his reasons were, really, but I felt that he didn't want us to be a burden on Zen Center. But at the same time, I felt very much the same way he did, that, yes, if we're really a viable practice place, we should be self-supporting. And so, we developed our practice in a self-supporting way. But although we were financially independent, we weren't really spiritually independent, because until Suzuki Roshi died, we were just an affiliate.

[13:33]

And he used to come over and give lectures once a week, and we were very much connected. As a relative newcomer here and being very inexperienced, I do not yet see in what way I don't sense anything in the air that touches everyone in the way of a community that is supportive. Good point. I just made a chart of everyone's position in our practice, in this Zen Center.

[14:40]

Every member has some kind of position, even though it's maybe very small. You know, maybe something that you do every day or maybe something that you do just once a week or once a month or something. But it's your connection and it's your way of participating to be a part of the whole thing. It's really a good point. Because things run very smoothly, you may not see how they run. But everyone I've shown the chart to is very surprised at how many positions there are, how many details and practice positions there are in order to make the whole thing work. Can you ask me to go over to my house and get me that big board that's in the front room?

[15:44]

The house is open. If it's not, Liz will be knocking on the door. I hope it's open. If not, I'll give you my key. It looks like there's Zazen at certain times, and people just come to Zazen and go home, if you're not really involved in how things work. But when I counted it up, I counted more than 100 positions that keep this place moving, day by day. As I said, one of the things that we try to do is give every member some task, some position, which plugs them into making the whole thing work.

[16:57]

And of course, since everyone has a different lifestyle, individual lifestyle, we all have limitations on how much we can participate with each other. And that's always taken into consideration. Some people are able to participate a lot in making things work. And some people are only able to participate just a little teeny bit, you know. But that little teeny bit is very meaningful to actually do your little teeny bit. It's very meaningful if you really do it. And it makes, if you just plug into your little teeny bit every time that you should, that it's meaningful to do that, then you become a part of the whole thing.

[18:03]

The whole thing is actually you. We have this tendency sometimes to feel that the Zen center is there and it runs and I go and come from it. We tend to have that feeling, that's a kind of dualistic understanding of how things work. But actually, each one of us, if we do something very small, each one of us is the whole Zen center. We make it work. Every one of us makes the whole thing work. Even though it seems like it's there for us and we come and go from it, we actually create it. It's like Sashin. Sometimes people think, they're having Sashin and I'll participate in it. But actually, when you participate in Sashin, you are running Sashin. You're making Sashin. You're creating it. It's not that they're over here and I'm doing something with them.

[19:08]

As soon as you enter in, Sashin is you. Zazen is you. Zen Center is you. Now? You said it's hard to see how people are relating to each other other than just through friendship. This is our chart. I don't know if anybody can see it. But you can at least see, you know, that there's a lot of stuff on there.

[20:11]

And it says Berkeley Zen Center Kobai-san. Kobai-san is the name of the mountain, Red Plum Mountain. That's the ground. And Shogaku-ji is the name of the temple after Shinryu, Shogaku, Shinryu, Suzuki Roshi. And this is an organizational chart. Then we have the nine people on the board of directors that meets once a month. that takes care of the fundamental business of the Zen Center. And then underneath that is the practice committee, which is seven or eight people, which meets once a week to discuss the small, you know, day-to-day stuff of the Zen Center. And then the The zendo manager has charge of taking care of the zendo and all of the activities that go on in the zendo.

[21:24]

And there are these various positions, the Saturday director, and the Sashin director, and the evening Zazen director, and the Aoyuki instruction. All these people give Zazen instruction on Saturday to people. And then on the other side, we have that long list on the, over there is residence. And then there's a head resident who takes care of the business of the residence. And there's a kind of go-between between the residence and the Zen Center. And then here is a fundraising committee. And over there is finance committee. And these two people give private interviews for people. Then down here, all the miscellaneous positions that people do that make the Zen Center run. And over here are the people that do the, take care of the service positions, Doan and Kokyo and Fukudo.

[22:30]

And they practice those positions in order to perfect them or, you know, to make them harmonize with each other. And then we have the cooks. Here's the tenzo, the head cook. And under the head cook are all the cooks that cook for Saturday morning and sashimis. And then over here are the gardeners under the head gardener. And then the office people and the head of the office. And all the chidens, the people that take care of the altar. once a week. And then there's the head cook and the work leader and the head jikido that keeps the zendo in shape and keeps people plugged in to cleaning it, and the maintenance person, and the kitchen keeper, and the head gardener, and the head chitin, and the office manager, and the head dishwasher, and the phone tree person, and the sangha room altar person, and the sangha room

[23:42]

person takes care of that. And the bulletin board, somebody just has to take care of the bulletin board. And the newsletter, that's a big job. And the head server, or head servers. The library, people take care of the library. And a Buddhist Peace Fellowship representative. And the hosts. And someone take care of the Dogsan Hut. And that's a lot of stuff. You know? A lot of stuff that goes into just running this place. And it looks like all we do is come and sit in Zazen and go home. But it's much more than that, you know? And somebody's got to take care of all that. Somebody's got to be responsible for all those, all those departments, you know? Even though it's a small place. And one of the reasons why this place runs so well is because people take care of it.

[24:44]

People are very responsible. It's amazing. And it looks like it runs very easily. When you get into the inner workings, you find that there's a lot of problems and a lot of controversy and frustration. But people are willing to be in there working it out, day by day. it creates a certain kind of vitality and people, it involves people so that our practice becomes very mature just through taking care of each other and taking care of our practice in a mutual way. Thank you. And this kind of It's one thing to just come to Zazen and go home.

[25:48]

That's okay. There's no problem. But to really be involved in practice, part of that is to take responsibility. And that responsibility is a way of practicing. But I think the other point that you made and that Pabongka was making, too, is the friendship. And that is another way into involvement. And I think that the friendship of people that are doing the same practice that you are trying to do, that is very important, and that takes some time. The question, what I heard your question to be was, what else is there besides just being friendly? So, that's what I thought I heard you say. Well, that too.

[27:29]

I can see that would be very dangerous. Overdoing that. Overdoing that, yeah. Yes. Yeah. Well, you know, I don't want to tell everybody how to be, you know. I leave that up to your own maturity. But I just, my request is I don't want to say so much because all I want to say is that I trust you. That's really all I want to say. That's why I don't have so much to say. Yeah? It sounds like what you're saying is that what encourages you and what you want us to continue is to continue being responsible and taking care of all these things. And I think that it takes a while to be really involved with it before one experiences that job and you're the head cook, it really encourages you that people come every week to help cook.

[28:33]

Or if you're in charge of the window, it really encourages you if people come and help do it. And it encourages you to keep doing it and to do more with it. And it discourages you if you don't go. But I think it takes a while. I mean, beginning and becoming really involved, there are lots of subtle personal things. And I think that's an area we've really been working on over the last few years. And we don't get so many people saying now that this is a cold, unfriendly place. Nobody ever talks to me. But there's still, I think, what the question suggests is that there's still something maybe that there isn't a clear, it's not still so clear, how we personally encourage each other.

[29:39]

And I'm wondering, I don't know, I think you're saying, well, you can't tell us how to do that. We just have to figure that out. I suppose that's true, but I would like to see you keep working on that. Yeah. Well, I could say one thing. The thing that encourages me the most is when I feel your strength, you know, or your determination to practice. That's what encourages me more than anything else. And, you know, I would like to hear what other people have to say about what encourages them. Darlene? What encourages me, and I've spent three years now since I started sitting here, is the strength of the practice. I don't want to say intensity, but the desire, the strong desire that I feel that this is what we've come here for.

[30:41]

And that, more than anything, has encouraged me to keep coming back and to get involved as limited as I can. Because I'm one of those once a week people that, you know, I can't get here during the week. And it's invaluable. But when you hear that once a week, your presence is very strong and very vital. And I can't tell you how much that's appreciated by everyone. What encourages me is close to what encourages you. It's the strength of the Sangha. And it's also that I really feel here more than any place I've been that my voice really counts. When I say something I care about, people will really listen. And I really appreciate that.

[31:42]

Daniel? Get elected, if you have the opportunity to connect with everybody, at least in crisis. SLAM!

[33:00]

But I agree with what you say. Warm-hearted practice is really important. We have a cool side and a warm side. The cool side is mechanics and the warm side is our heart. maybe wisdom and compassion, but you can't always tell which is which. If you try to say, this is wisdom, this is compassion, you may stumble over that. So it's all mixed up. So the form helps us to practice, and we practice with our warm-heartedness.

[34:36]

Well, I'd like to know what else you know. Eric? Well, my only real concern is what I mentioned earlier.

[36:23]

That is, and it's been mentioned one way or another, is participation, being here and participating in a very active way when they're really dedicated. And I know, personally, if I'm practicing and people don't show up, had really less air of balloon than anything that I had. Going in the way of momentum, and I felt I was a part of, can be broken down very, very quickly. For me, that would be the biggest problem. It's just knowing that you're not here, and mistakenly giving you their practice. If we make the mistake of leaning on you and you leave, we fall.

[37:26]

It's that relationship that's comfortable but also very unstable that it doesn't allow you or us to kind of go freely with a lot of stability and clarity that we all try to cultivate. Yeah, that's a really good point. My purpose, I think, if I want to say purpose, as a teacher, is to help you to be independent, help everyone to be independent, which means you have your own practice, your own motivation, and to not have you lean on me or depend on me. And if I go away and see that everybody continues practicing, then I feel that I've really accomplished something.

[38:27]

If I go away and everybody stops practicing, I feel I haven't accomplished anything. On the other hand, you don't want the practice to flourish in your eyes. Good point. You'd better not. If I catch this practice flourishing, watch out. I'll catch the culprit. What encourages me are three things that I can think about. One is people with a steady practice in the seminal. That's from the beginning. encouraged me greatly. It's people who are here every day. The next thing is people who move to that practice in the Zendo outside. And that encourages me greatly in meetings and other things when people can do, can actually behave.

[39:40]

like what we're all trying to do in the Zen dome. And the third thing is that I think that a lot of people that are attracted to this practice are a little off the regular. And I appreciate that greatly. And I think there is generally a wide acceptance of a lot of that variation and a lot of uniqueness. a little large, but I appreciate that. And I feel that. I feel real acceptance here and can be wholly who I am. And I think it's beautiful. One of the things about a practice, you know, this kind of practice, is that it's pretty easy to have it set up in such a way that only certain kinds of people can participate. But to have a really wide group of people is really important.

[40:55]

To feel that such a diverse group of people can practice together is a good sign. So, So I think the important thing is, on one side, we come in order to get something.

[42:12]

And on the other side, we give something. And when just giving is too heavy, and we don't get anything, then we feel something's wrong. And if we just get something, but we don't give anything, then people feel that there's something wrong. But when giving and getting is neither giving or getting, but it's just one thing, then we feel satisfied. And how to do that is what we have to work with, so that we feel that what our giving is, our offering of ourself is worthwhile, and what we receive is worthwhile, and that it matches. And so we don't feel that it's heavy on one side or the other.

[43:19]

Sometimes we have to tell somebody to take it easy because they're extending themselves too much. And that's important for us, for everyone, to be careful about that. Not to extend yourself too much over what you can do. But on the other hand, to actually try and do something. That's important. To not hold back if you can do something. There's no practice without our participation. There's nothing. All that we have is our participation and we create what's here. So there are people who really put a lot of effort into and a lot of themselves into the practice. I want to encourage us to help those people.

[44:34]

And when we do that, it helps us. One of the things that I've been thinking about recently is, especially in Zen Center, San Francisco, and at Tassajara, how to support somebody to practice. how you support someone, you know, maybe someone that has a position, a higher position or more important or what seems like an important position. And you may not like that person so much, you know, or you may have some difficulty. But how you support that person, even though you may have difficulty with the person, My experience is that if you can support somebody, then you become supported. Just through your dana, or your contribution, something comes to you.

[45:40]

If you try to move that person so that you can be someplace, it doesn't work. You never get anything. You may get something, but what you get is false. In my own experience, and what I'm seeing more and more, is to support somebody to be where they are, and to be supported, is all the same. It all comes back. What we give to someone just comes back to ourself. And the kind of mutual support is miraculous in making things work. And it breaks down barriers. If you support someone who you may not feel perfect about, it makes that person think about what they're doing.

[46:51]

And it makes them, you know, think about who you really are. in a way that they wouldn't be able to think about it otherwise. Because we easily form opinions and find it hard to flow freely because of the prejudices and opinions and views that we have formed. because of where we're stuck in not being generous. I have some feel for that. I also have some difficulty with it. What about... I mean, there is a time to speak to people about things that they aren't aware of that are interfering.

[47:52]

And it feels to me you should address that too somehow. Yeah, that's not an unsupported thing. You know, support doesn't mean everything you do is right. It means I support you and I also feel this way, you know, at the same time. It's like our practice. If you, you may find things that are about it that you don't like, but you're in it anyway. And if you're in it, then you can deal with what you don't like. If you stand outside of it, then you're just critical, right? So, to be in it with your criticism, It doesn't mean that you accept it, but it doesn't mean you have to like it, always. But you can criticize or deal with the things that come up. But at the same time, you're supporting it. You're supporting it because it's coming from your heart and because you can manage it. Yeah.

[48:55]

When I support somebody, I don't mean that I support them in an uncritical way. But it allows me to see what's correct and what's not correct equally. Whereas if I'm just standing outside, not supporting but just criticizing, then I can't see what's the good side. It's very difficult to see the good side of it. I just wanted to underline what Rio was saying, because I think so many times in discussions that are both spiritual and nature, there's a tendency to too much negate an opinion, to too much negate a feeling. And I think we have to kind of remind ourselves that there's a place for striving and a place for a feeling.

[49:58]

I think this is going too much farther than what I intended. Okay. What I intended, my intention in saying this was, you know, when I support somebody, it helps me. That's all. But, you know, I agree with what both of you say. That's true, you know. But my meaning was that when we support somebody, even if we have some difficulty with it, it helps us. And I think, even though we're getting near the end, what you bring up is really one of the important things at the heart of making something like this work. Because if you're outside kind of lobbing these critical shells in, you know, all it is is destructive, really. But if you are merging or merged with everybody, if we do that, then the criticisms that we do have, that always come up, you can, you know, depending on relations, you can air them, you can share them, and it's from somebody who is within.

[51:16]

you know, who's part of the body of this, so to be in it, you know, is what makes it feel okay to be critical. I was reading in a book yesterday about relaxation, stress, and what to do with this passivity, so to speak. There was one more hand, and that'll be the end. Yes? One thing that I've been hearing, which is very nice, is that the Sangha community, people feel very support from various aspects of it. And I know that, for me, the basic support comes

[52:17]

And if I can sit with a certain consistency, then I feel that connection with the people who are sitting with me. And I think the involvement of one's own energies to whatever degree one can in the operations, And I think that helps one to make connections. And I found that the community dinners and meetings are very important for me. I think what I'm sensing myself is that I feel very involved here. And yet I'm also very involved in a nonsensical life. And at the moment that's confusing me. with people with a certain intention that's crucial to you, well, the more you go that way.

[53:41]

But I think this dialogue is important. I like Todd's question, too. And I like the friendship aspect. I think some people feel they have friendships, personally. And some people don't. And some people who would like to, don't. Who would like to know, you know, who they could have a call, have dinner with. Or some of you are saying, you know, we have a couple of coffee parties. And this kind of thing, when you see people, members of the community, you know, and it's not specific to the practice here. You know, to have people recognize you, Sometimes other people don't, you know. There's a lack of what I would call normal response to people who you've seen before. That's one of the things I've sensed.

[54:43]

I don't know why that's true, but I think there are all these things going on together in a dynamic. Okay, thank you. Well, there's a lot, you know, that needs to be developed, right, little by little. Shakyamuni Buddha.

[55:33]

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