I have to face the truth, the lies of your villainous words. Good morning. This afternoon, after this lecture, we're going to have a portrait, a sangha portrait taken. Ron's mother is a quite excellent photographer.

[01:05]

She's a very good portrait photographer. She's going to take a song that's portrait. Root picture. She's never done that before. And the reason why we're going to do that is because we want to have a portrait for our fundraising letter. So I want to talk a little bit about why we're fundraising, what we're doing. I think that the whole sangha should really have good awareness of what we're going to be doing in the next few months. Three years ago, when we moved here from Dwight Way, our intention was to build a zendo, turn one of our buildings into a zendo. And we remodeled this room temporarily.

[02:11]

As you can see, it's not so big. So far, we can do it, we can practice it, but our intention was to quite soon build a zendo. in that little house in the back. It's not so little, actually. And we did some fundraising, but before we could work on this house, we had to replace the residential space by lifting up the building next door and putting apartments under it. So, that took us a couple of years. And now we're at the point where we're really ready to build a zendo, finally. It's been a lot of work and a lot of people have put in a lot of effort to make it happen.

[03:15]

And after figuring up the very carefully figuring out costs and so forth, we found that a zendo is going to cost us somewhere around $41,000 to remodel that building by today's standards. A few years ago, it would have been a lot cheaper. And the longer we wait, the more expensive it gets. So it's going to be necessary for us to, for everybody, to do something. I don't know where we're going to get that exactly. I know where we're going to get some. I don't know. I don't know where that's really going to happen. I think that It has to come from our determination to want to do something, and from the sincerity of our practice.

[04:23]

My basic feeling is that if our practice is really sincere, then we should have something like that. And if we should have it, then it will happen. My own basic tendency, you know, when it comes to building something is to go out to the junk pile and salvage wood and parts and put something together. That's how we built the Zendoye Dwight Way. It didn't cost anything to speak of. I remember going out looking for lumber, and I went to a used lumber yard, and they didn't have a piece of three-quarter-inch plywood that I wanted.

[05:27]

But as I was driving home on the freeway, I saw it laying in the middle of the freeway. So I stopped the car and dragged it out and put it on the top of the car and went home and put it in. That's my method. everyone would have to go through a completely radical change to go by my method. So, I'm going by your method. Also, we have to meet building code standards. So, I bow to the city and fire codes and so forth. Actually, the fireproofing is probably the biggest expense. So we want to have a safe zendo. And I think that we should make an effort to make it safe. It's easy to say we can get away with this or we can get away with that, you know, but I remember when the zendo burnt down at Kasahara.

[06:40]

I wasn't there, but I remember when it happened. Just suddenly there was a fire. In ten minutes, the zendo had burned down. And the kitchen didn't burn, because the zendo was an old, very old building. And the kitchen was more of a new building, and they were separated by a space, a small space. The kitchen had fireproofing, and it didn't burn. You know, just... It makes me realize that we really need to be careful. So... At first, I saw the costs. First we said $30,000, and I thought, well,

[07:44]

You know, okay. And then the cost started rising as I really looked at it. And so I said, okay, what's next? I'm just prepared for whatever it looks like. But I don't know how we're going to do it unless everybody really tries to do something. we have a certain time limit. July is when we want to start. That's when carpenters are going to be ready. And people are adjusting themselves to that. I remember reading an article about a group of nuns in Japan, how they collected money to build their zendo.

[08:49]

They had went through several years of building a monastery, and they got to the point where they were ready for a zendo, just kind of like the way we are. And they didn't know how to do it, how to go about collecting money. Basically, they weren't even allowed to have money. So, the only thing that they had at their means was to ask. So, they put on their begging clothes, their straw hats, and their straw sandals, and made these preparations. And one day, they all left. And this is in modern times. And I don't remember what city they were in and what city they were going to, but they were going to make a Takahatsu, Takahatsu is begging, Buddhist begging, through various towns, cities, until they got to Nara or someplace.

[10:05]

I'm not sure where. They walked out one day in a line, got on the streetcar, held out their bowls. And people were shocked to see these strange creatures on the streetcar. And they just made their way. And people put them up here and there and they'd go to some temple where they'd stay overnight. Sometimes they were rejected. But they had a very strong spirit, very strong determination This is the only way they could do it. The only means they had. So they took it, and eventually they wound up at their destination. And I don't remember whether they got all the money or not, but some, I think that, I think they did. I don't know how much it cost to build a zendo in Japan 20 years ago. But I don't think we should do that, begging in that sense.

[11:18]

Takahatsu is very unusual in America. But somehow asking to translate takahatsu into terms that is suitable for us. Some kind of asking. we ask people to help us. And why should they? We always have to ask that question. Why should people help us? What are we doing if they should help us? So it always comes back to our practice. What is our practice about? And when we think about our practice, what is it about? How can you summarize it?

[12:20]

How can you say that we're doing something that people should support? If we think that it's just for ourself, I don't think that people should support us. There's no real good reason. if it's just for ourselves. Even though we're going to have a sangha portrait, you know, that's us. But that's just part of us. The zendo, strictly speaking, doesn't belong to just the sangha, the immediate sangha. So when we build a zendo, we build a zendo for the benefit of everyone. That's the main purpose. It's just like our vow, the Four Vows.

[13:29]

Our intention is to build this Zindo for the benefit of everyone. But how do we benefit everyone? That's a big question. That's a big koan that we always have to keep in mind. It's not easily answerable. How does this practice benefit everyone? that they should contribute to it. So if I have that some reason, I can ask people for money.

[14:32]

Usually in Buddhism, in Takahata, you don't say anything. You just put on your robes and walk down the street, and someone puts something in your bowl, you thank them, and that's it. In some way, we allow people the opportunity to give something. Donna, the first Prajnaparamita. But we also have to give somebody something in return, even if it's not immediately. So sometimes, you know, immediately receiving is something in return. Someone gives, but someone else has to receive. And the receiving is as important as the giving. If you give something, no one receives it. What's the point? So giving and receiving are

[15:35]

both equally important. But what does receiving mean? We kind of know what giving means. And that's kind of obvious. But what does receiving mean? How can we take something? And how does it feel to us when we receive something? So that kind of attitude is If giving and receiving are equal, giving is done without any extra intention. If we give with the intention of, I'm really giving you something. That's not, strictly speaking, done. It's a kind of, it's one level of giving.

[16:38]

But a true generosity is just to give and forget. I gave, I gave. That kind of attitude is not, has something, something holding on still to the gift. So when there's nothing holding on to the gift, then the receiver feels free. to receive. Sometimes someone will give you something, but you don't want to take it, because it's not a real gift, it's not a real giving. So when the giving is completely free, and the receiving is completely free, something happens. Freedom reigns. And with that same kind of attitude, something is also given back. Giving is going both ways, and receiving is going both ways.

[17:39]

Even though it looks like giving and receiving on the surface, actually it's going, giving and receiving are going back the same, equally. So, this kind of project, you know, is not just a project to get something and build a building and make some nice place for ourself to sit. And a zento is not like a kind of palace or some kind of wonderful church building. Zendo can be anything from broken down old garage to really nice, well thought out, well put together building.

[18:58]

But there's some It shouldn't have the feeling of ostentation, no gold trim, just adequate building, good building, good feeling of workmanship and simplicity. This building, you know, is going to be very simple, actually, well put together with tension, and joy, actually, joy of building it. Since we're all going to be participating, we have the joy of building it ourself and participating. And this kind of work is practice. So our attitude must be an attitude of practice.

[20:06]

from beginning to end. So I would like us to think how we can participate in building it and how we can get help to fund it and make it work for ourselves and for everyone. Instead of hiring someone to do this for us, we're doing it ourselves. And we're involved, all of us, in the whole thing.

[21:15]

And we should know why we're doing it. So I leave us with this koan. How is our practice benefiting everyone? Today is the fourth day of our five-day sasheen. And the people who are sitting sasheen are working very hard sitting very hard. But what does our practice mean, that we're sitting?

[22:29]

Twenty people are sitting five days. Thousands of people are doing other things? How is our sitting benefiting millions of people? This is what we have to know. Sokeyan Sasaki Roshi, who founded the First Zen Institute, I was reading something that he said recently.

[23:45]

He said, Buddhism is actually very simple. even though there are thousands of books about Buddhism and many practices, it's quite simple. And he said comparing Buddhism with Western religion, he said there's really only one difference that people in the West don't have that people in the... that Buddhism has, which is Samadhi, power of Samadhi, which is, he said, in the West, people talk about a God, and that a religion is based on belief in God.

[24:52]

But when they look at Buddhism or Zen, they say that it's not really religion because they don't talk about God. But he said if people in the West really can experience Samadhi, which is true mind, True mind beyond thinking mind, beyond feeling mind, beyond individuality. There's no need to talk about Buddha or God, because everything, everyone meets in that space, in that place. True, what we call true mind. So, Sashin today, you know.

[26:03]

People sitting Sashin are sitting with everyone in true mind. Everyone is included in our Sashin. Looks like 25 people, but actually The whole universe is sitting right here in this room with us. So, keeping this in mind, I would like all of us to work together to make our Zindo happen.

[27:45]

Do you have any questions? It's important. Samadhi. We can talk about samadhi in two ways.

[28:53]

One side, one way is when we talk about samadhi of stillness. And the other side is when we talk about samadhi of movement or activity. And It's concentrated in stillness or total samadhi. The two are not different, but in total samadhi, there's no thinking.

[29:58]

It's not that there's no thinking but our basic consciousness basic consciousness is revealed which doesn't depend on thinking or doesn't depend on feeling or doesn't depend on activity. And this is to Samadhi of Zazen. Where no matter how you feel, no matter what you're thinking, it's your basic mind. So when we sit, especially Sashin, our mind becomes very clear. Even though there are a lot of waves, still it becomes very clear. And our presence, our deeper presence is right there. are what we can call, we call it basic consciousness, or mind, big mind, that's the mind of everything.

[31:16]

It's just present. It's always present, but we don't see it because our lives are framed by our activity. And so we pay attention to our activity, but we don't pay so much attention to our basic mind. And a samadhi of activity is our basic mind within activity, basic consciousness within activity, which is also free from that activity, but is produced by our Buddha nature. So Samadhi is the expression of pure being, purity, like pure mind within activity. So in that sense, Samadhi is the stillness of our activity and the activity of stillness.

[32:24]

Within the stillness, there's activity, even though stillness is the activity of stillness, and activity is the activity of stillness, or the stillness of activity. So we say stillness, stillness, Everything exists in stillness. And that stillness is our basic existence. And samadhi is its expression. And prajna is its light. So when we sit zazen, stopping activities, usual activities, and just have the activity of zazen, our mind is just illuminated by our ever-present nature.

[33:51]

We call it samadhi. It's not something special. It's not some special state, you know. It's just when you want To see what's on the other side of the door, you just open the door. But it's there all the time, just opening the door. But it's hard, you know, because to do it we have to sit with painful legs. And so there's some barrier, you know, some barrier. And the reason why there's some barrier is because for samadhi, for our real nature to arise, our real nature is non-dual. We always call it the non-dual nature. And in order for the non-dual nature to reveal itself, we have to be non-dual ourself, become one with non-duality.

[34:55]

When we become one with non-duality, our basic nature arises as non-duality. So you may sit with painful legs, but it's not painful. We say it's painful. That's our dualistic mind. It's not anything. Yes, it's painful, but really it's not. We just say that. So without calling anything anything, without naming anything. If you don't name it, before you name it, you know what it is. After you name it, you know what you call it. So, by naming, we're always judging. We create something. So we have to return, not return, but have a kind of baby mind, kind of,

[36:02]

Baba Wawa, mind. If you read the Hokyo Zamai, the Song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, he said, Baba Wawa, right? Like a baby says something, but it's just meaningless. You hear the sounds and you see the sights, but you don't call it anything. And then it's just what it is. So, how do you see things just what it is? Yeah, even though there's a lot of mind waves.

[37:10]

Of course. Otherwise, no one would be able to do it. And, you know... Of course. How could it not be? It's just your basic mind. It's there all the time. But, you know, You make this effort to be still and to be non-dual, to be one with sitting. The object of sitting is to be one, the object of sitting with mind is to be one with sitting with mind. So there's no outside, no inside, no object, no subject. This is non-dual. No subject, no object, no outside, no inside. Just one completeness. But it's a tough road, you know.

[38:14]

It's hard, hard to do, but that difficulty helps us to do it, you know. By the difficulty itself, we manage to do it. If there was no difficulty, we couldn't do it. So we have to appreciate the difficulty. If you reject the pain of your legs, if you call it bad, you know, say, oh, this is too hard, you can't do it. The difficulty and joy have to go together. It's one piece. It's non-dual. Joy arises in your difficulty. and difficulty arises within your joy. And if you try to do it any other way, your life is called suffering. So in Buddhism we say, how do we overcome suffering?

[39:16]

Not by getting rid of the difficulty, but by having the joy arise within the difficulty. So we're always looking for some difficulty. That's right. We're always looking for something difficult to do so that we can enjoy our life. But people have it the other way around. They think that in order to enjoy our life we have to get rid of all the difficulties and then we'll have peace. But that's called looking for suffering. Because you can't do it. be one with the difficulty. That's what our life is about. And that's what, I don't know, Buddhism is about. Whenever I went to ask my teacher to answer some questions, he would say, oh, here's another problem.

[40:24]

I'm sorry. Just give you another problem. He was a very good teacher. So, all he ever taught was you should appreciate the difficulty you have now. When you get rid of the difficulty you have now, you might have some worse difficulty later. If you want to trade in your present difficulty for some other difficulty, all you do is keep changing your equipment. So, when I think about it, about the various problems that I have now, I'm quite grateful, because I know that I have something to work with.

[41:28]

Dogen says, when you fall to the ground, you use the ground to pick yourself up with. So if you have some big stumbling block, some big boulder that's in your way, you can use that boulder to help you stand up. So, practice.

[42:10]

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