As you know, the attitude of Mahayana Buddhism is expressed in the four bodhisattva vows. Sentient beings are numberless. I vow to save them. Desires are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. And Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vow to be one with it or become it. And there are different ways of expressing the four vows. And especially the first vow, Ascension beings are numberless.

[01:04]

No matter how many there are, I vow to save all beings. And this word, save, gives people trouble sometimes. And recently, the last couple of years, in Zen Center, It was changed to, I vowed to awaken with them. Beings are numberless, I vowed to awaken with them. It's a little clumsy language, but there was some feeling about that saving was a difficult term to deal with. What does that mean to save? And awaken with has the feeling of waking up to something or awakening with all beings together.

[02:12]

So it doesn't make you stand out as someone who's doing something for somebody. But everyone is, you're doing this with people and your own salvation is bound up with others salvation. And that felt pretty good. But then someone came along and said, you know, in the sutras, it's always expressed as save. And so people are saying, well, maybe we should go back to save. And so there's been a little bit of controversy about this, and somebody wants to decide just exactly how we should express it. So someone suggested, well, what about awaken sentient beings?

[03:14]

Sentient beings are numberless. I vow to awaken them. But that also has the feeling that I'm doing something for somebody. So it's a wonderful discussion to find out just what we mean, if we ever will. Maybe we never will find out just what we mean. And the more I think about it, the more I think save is pretty good because it's so radical, for one thing. And it's beyond logic. It's not logical. It's not practical. It's not doable.

[04:17]

It's just an expression of our feeling, which, when you have an expression of a strong feeling to do something so unapproachable, You just express that feeling, whether you can do it or not, or whether you understand what it means or not, is beside the point. So I'm not ready to settle on anything as far as meaning, but Any of these is okay with me, but we have to decide something. There may be something else that's more appropriate. As we know, well, if we decide to express the desire to save all beings, what does save mean?

[05:36]

From what? Or what does awaken mean? Awaken to what? As we know, the Four Bodhisattva Vows are a response to the Four Noble Truths. This is the key to understanding what the Four Vows are. because each one, each of the vows, is a response to one of the Four Noble Truths, which is the most basic doctrine in Buddhism. The First Noble Truth is that life The characteristic of life, the mark of life, is that there's suffering, whether or not we perceive it in that way.

[06:46]

Suffering also has many connotations. You can say unsatisfactoriness, or disappointing, or something like that. And so the first vow is a response to the first truth. Since life is suffering, this realm of samsara is the realm of suffering, What a bodhisattva, how a bodhisattva responds to that is through the desire or wish to save all beings from suffering. And the second truth is the reason why are all beings suffering.

[07:51]

So the second truth is the cause of suffering is desire. Sometimes we say delusions. Delusions is a little easier to take, you know, because when we say desire, whatever we desire comes up and says, wait a minute, help. Don't take that away from me. So you see, desire is a real sticking point. And to soften the blow, we say delusions. Just like to soften the blow of save, we say awaken with. But strictly speaking, it's desires. But delusions covers a very broad field.

[09:01]

Of course we want to get rid of delusions. Who doesn't want to get rid of delusions? We may not really want to get rid of delusions, but at least we can assent to, of course, we want to get rid of delusions. Who doesn't want to be smart, wise, act in the right way? But in order to get rid of delusions, do we have to get rid of desire? Sticky problem. But without desire, there's no life. So getting rid of desire doesn't mean getting rid of desire. Just like when we say to drop body and mind, It doesn't mean that you get rid of your body and you get rid of your mind. So this is

[10:13]

Big koan. Each one of these four noble truths is a koan. And each one of the four vows is a koan. And all together they're a big headache. So the first two truths state the problem. The condition. The condition and the cause. The condition is suffering, and the cause is desire or delusions. So we say delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. But we always, in the past, we said desires, and everybody winced. So we changed it to delusions. And then the third truth is that there is a way to deal with desire.

[11:21]

There's a way to deal with suffering. And so the response to that, or the third vow, is dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them. Dharma gates means the dharma gate is open. the way to deal with our life in reality according to Dharma. Dharma means truth or reality. There's a way to deal with both suffering and delusions and desire within the realm of reality. to see things in a real way, to unflinchingly seek out the truth. And the fourth noble truth is that the way is

[12:36]

the Eightfold Path, the Six Paramitas, the study of the practice of Buddhadharma, whatever that is. And so the response or the vow is, I vow to Buddha's way, the Buddha way, not Buddha's way, but the Buddha way, my way, as Buddha, is to become one with the way. So the four vows and the four truths, the response to Buddha's understanding. If we look at suffering, what is suffering? The sutra says old age, sickness and death are suffering.

[13:46]

Not to have what you want is suffering. To have what you don't want is suffering. Not to be with people that you want to be with is suffering. And to be with people you don't want to be with is suffering. So to have and have not is suffering. So have and have not is in the realm of desire. When you don't have what you want, you suffer. When you have what you don't want, you suffer. When you have what you want, it feels okay. But whatever you have, you don't really have. You only have it for a moment. Whatever we have, we only have it for a moment. So whatever we have will be taken away. So that's suffering.

[14:52]

To have what you want actually is suffering, is a cause for suffering. Unfortunately, there's just no way out. So that's why when we have what we want, we feel pretty good. And so we think, well, there are times when I'm not suffering. Those are the times. The times I'm not suffering is when I have what I want or when I feel OK or when things are going pretty well. That's not suffering. But there will come a time when the cause, when what you have will be a cause for what you don't have. Or what you won't have. Even this life is not our own.

[15:54]

We say, this is mine, this is me, but this is not me, this is not mine. Nothing really is anybody's. So, how do we deal with this suffering? Sometimes it says in the sutras that the reason for Buddhism, Buddhadharma, is to escape from suffering. But escape or get rid of suffering is a little difficult because there's always something going on.

[16:55]

So escape may not be so good because when we try to get rid of something, We just keep sinking into it deeper. But it's possible to look closely at what is the cause of suffering. What is the cause of unsatisfactoriness? So the study of Buddhadharma is to look into what is the cause of suffering. What is the cause of our dissatisfaction? What is the cause of our despair or whatever? And when Buddha looked very deeply into the cause, he said the cause is our grasping or desire or wanting things to be how they're not.

[18:05]

and by setting up conditions which lead to more suffering. So, how do you get out of it? How do you deal with the unsatisfactoriness of life? In suffering, there are various levels of suffering. There's bodily suffering, there's mental suffering, there's emotional suffering, there's surface suffering, and then there's deep suffering. And they're connected. bodily suffering. There's a certain kind of suffering which can be alleviated by having a job and a roof over your head, food to eat.

[19:26]

the basic necessities of life. That's one way to relieve suffering. That's very helpful. But it's not necessary, and it's sort of, somewhat basic. But this is not deep suffering. Deep suffering is no matter how good you feel, no matter how well everything is taken care of, there's still underneath basic suffering which is what is it all about? Who am I? What will happen to me? Why am I changing? Why Am I older now than I was before? And what does that mean in the future?

[20:30]

This kind of underlying suffering is something that food, money, housing, friends, family cannot help you with. So when we talk about saving, this is what we're talking about, this deep suffering which runs through everyone's life, regardless of what our situation is. So Buddhadharma is the study of what is our life really about? Who is this? Who am I? What is this?

[21:35]

And where does it go? And what is life? And if I understand what this life is about, then maybe I'll know how to live it. So the way to understand it is to awaken to reality. So another way to say save all sentient beings is I vow to awaken them or awaken with all sentient beings. Let's all wake up. to reality so according to the sutras buddha says

[22:49]

When I am gone, each one of you will have to work out your own salvation by yourself, through your own efforts. This is original Buddhism. Each one of us has to work out our own salvation. But in the course of time, Buddhism changed. You know, there was a For, let's see, you know about the three eras or the three times. There was a prediction in early Buddhism that in the first 500 years was true Buddhism. The first 500 years after Buddha, people could practice the true Buddhism, which was that the strength of Buddhist practice was very prominent, was still strong enough so that people could practice it in that way.

[24:05]

And then the second period would be the period of decline. The next 500 years would be the period of decline in which people could only practice a kind of counterfeit or semblance of Buddhism. And then the third 500 years was the Age of Ma Po, which was impossible to practice the true practice. And this is a kind of prediction, which a lot of people believed in. And around Dogen's time, around the 13th century, this was the Age of Ma Po. the age of decline of the Dharma, where people were, since the Dharma was so far removed from original Buddhism, or Buddha's original time, that people were unable to practice in their true way. And so there were many practices that developed in Buddhism around that idea.

[25:13]

the Pure Land School developed around that idea because Honin and Shinran and various other teachers, starting in China and developing in Japan, felt that by turning yourself over and chanting the name of Buddha, you could find salvation. without having to work on yourself. That transformation came through Amida Buddha's mercy, very much like Christianity, Buddhist version of Christianity, which is very prevalent in maybe more Buddhists in Japan follow that way. people felt that they couldn't find their own salvation by their own efforts.

[26:21]

It was too much. People were so laden with burdens and problems and desire and delusion that they couldn't get out of it. They could only get out of it by supplication to Amida Buddha. So Buddha was kind of deified in that way. And then there were other schools, you know, which gave up self-realization. But Dogen and the Zen school said they just disregarded the idea of the three times altogether and didn't really think of it as viable. So Dogen and the Zen school said, just sit Zazen and settle yourself on the self and merge with reality.

[27:30]

And through your own effort, you can find your own freedom. And so Zen has always continued this finding your own way through your own effort. So sometimes the Zen school is called self power and the Shin school is called other power. But there is no self or other power. That's just a dualistic way of thinking about things. But it's interesting. So in the Zen school, we meet life through our effort. And we put a lot of emphasis on effort to find our way and to find our freedom.

[28:44]

So, getting back to four vows, bodhisattva vow, Beings are numberless. I just have this great feeling that I want to save them, whatever that means. It's beyond rationale. And if we try to rationalize it, we run into all kinds of problems. If you say, how am I going to do that? Or, you know, while I'm trying to save all beings, there are more beings dropping off the face of the earth than I can possibly deal with at this moment. So there's some deep meaning, some deep desire, which is more than our rational mind can cope with, but that desire comes from a deeper place than our rational mind.

[30:27]

And it's our desire. It's interesting. What do you do with desire? If desires are the problem, what do you do with desire? honor desire and you offer desire to your highest desire. Desire can go this way or it can go this way. It's quite neutral. It's just power. It's vital power. It's the power of our true vitality. It just depends on where we direct it. If we direct it one way, it kills us. And if we direct it another way, it brings us to life. So what do we do with it?

[31:34]

Do we cause suffering or do we use it to help us find freedom? So whatever we have is a tool It can be a tool for life or a tool for death. And I don't mean just dying in the conventional way. Birth and death take place moment by moment, together. How will we live our life? So in that struggle or in that effort to find the right way, our vitality manifests. And without desire, nothing works.

[32:44]

So don't kill desire. This is the first precept. Don't kill means don't kill desire. Don't kill vitality. Don't kill life. Don't get caught by fire. If you have fire, you can cook and you can light things up and you have heat. But if you don't know how to control it or how to use it, it just burns everything up. So, as Buddha says, we're like fires out of control.

[33:57]

And we're always putting out fires or something. So, how do you use the switch or the rheostat to make that fire work just right? So it's important to discover what is our life about. What is our life about? What are we doing? If we try too hard to save beings, you know, we easily interfere with their lives. Be careful. One way, you know, to save beings is to leave them alone. not to have too much of an idea, not to try to fit them into our idea.

[35:04]

One way we cause suffering is to make beings fit into our idea and then we act on that. So, how do we stop causing suffering for ourselves and for everyone around us? It starts with ourself. Sixth Patriarch says, how do I save the sentient beings of my own mind? The delusive mind, the greedy mind, the hateful mind, the jealous mind, the avaricious mind, So it starts with us.

[36:09]

It starts right here. And then what we can take care of here, when we can take care of this, then we can take care of something else. And more and more we can take care of. But there are many ways to think about this. There are infinite ways to think about this and to study. It's inexhaustible. And there's no right way. The right way is not fixed. As soon as the right way becomes fixed, it's no longer the right way, no matter how good it seems. Well, I wanted to discuss this with you.

[37:14]

We don't have too much time left, but I would like to know what you think, yes. Whenever I think of saving beings, I immediately think of the Spanish Inquisition and the sale of witch trials. Yes. And I understand the draw of using the term save as a kind of radical, enlightened, non-logical term, but nonetheless that all-surfing of history is a strong one. That's right. Yeah, that's why we have to be very careful. In a way, it sounds a little like interference. I'm going to save you by burning you at the stake. That's the problem with the word save. One of the problems with the word save. I don't know what the original words are in Sanskrit, but I do know that in Hindu, there are many words that have no equivalent.

[38:40]

Like the word dukkha, which connotes everything from suffering, as you use it in English, to angst, and a whole bunch of other concepts. the way English uses suffering and desire. Yeah. I think you're right. That's the problem. And that's why, you know, I feel that I don't want to settle on anything. I like keeping it open for discussion. You know, keeping it open to see what we come up with that feels appropriate.

[39:45]

But at the same time, we have to say something, right? But I think it's good to say something as long as we know that we're not attached to what we're saying as a word. Yes, to expand on that meaning of words again, it appears then that to address that first truth, that first marvel of truth, How can one address it so that it doesn't connote like life is full of suffering? Can we start off with something a little bit up instead of down? Is there a way that we can express it? Yes, there is. You can also say life is nirvana. Because suffering is equated with samsara. Samsara is the life we have here in differentiation.

[40:51]

It's the undulation of life. I like that way of expressing it. The movement of our life. And so samsara is the other side of nirvana. But samsara is nirvana and nirvana is samsara. So you can also say another meaning of the word suffering is nirvana. So I think that's the key. That's the great koan. Samsara is nirvana. Suffering is also nirvana. And in order to find nirvana, you can't find it outside of suffering. So, how do you find it? How do you find nirvana within suffering? Suffering also is a word, like you said, that has tremendous meanings.

[42:00]

It means everything from anguish to joy. Which is samsara anyway, because it has a broader term of impermanence. Yes, impermanence. Suffering is a little more a feeling, right? You know, it's fine to think of it in any way you want. No problem. You think of it in any way you want, but what is it that you're thinking about when you think in any way you want? So, however you're thinking about it or feeling about it, let that way you're thinking or feeling about it take you to the reality.

[43:15]

Every single moment and every single event is a Dharma door to reality. So, just whatever it is, take it to its root. That's the koan of our daily life. This is Genjo Koan. This is the koan that's always with us in our daily life. Every single event and moment is a Dharma door to reality. Just take it to its root. And if it, whatever you want to call it, you can call it, you can say, oh, this is joy and happiness, but take it to its root. What is it? So, what is it is called investigation. Just this kind of questioning.

[44:26]

What is it, really? Well, I know what this is, but what is it? You don't have to answer it. Just keep the question. I was thinking about your speaking about desire and about how there are ways that you can control it or channel it. And yet, I'm also thinking of this whole notion about ways that we're out of control and that we're not in control and we think we're in control, and maybe vice versa. Could you speak a little bit about that? Control, yeah. It's very hard to control our mind. But my mind, I mean body-mind, Right? But sometimes we have tremendous control and we think that we're controlling everything, but actually we can't control everything because life is being lived through us.

[45:42]

Control has the connotation of I am living my life. Right? So one side of our life is I am living to move with that. Right? So control is moving harmoniously with life. It's called riding the wave and following the wave. If you're just riding, then you think you're in control. you also have to follow, otherwise you're out of control. And if you're just following, you're just letting things move you. You also have to do something. So, the undulation of life is like waves. And sometimes we're down here, and sometimes we're up here. And so in this sea of life, how do we ride

[46:46]

How do we ride that? How do we meet that sea and ride it, and at the same time have our feet on the bottom of the ocean? So control... difficult, you know? It's like, how do you walk on a ship? If we have too much control, then we're forcing our way. And if we don't have enough control, we just get tossed around. So, how we meet things, and how we allow ourselves to be moved, and how we move things. It's moving and being moved. Riding and following. And finding our place with everything on each moment.

[47:52]

What's our real place? Where am I supposed to be? What am I supposed to be doing? If we think up things to do that will help us to do that, and we create a life, and we create a society based on safety, And each one of us takes up a certain occupation depending on how safely we can move through life. But life's not safe. And no matter how well-ordered we make it, something's going to intrude on our little primrose path and shake us up. Real safety is to be able to respond to circumstances moment by moment without thinking, without being in our little cocoon, being open, just open to whatever.

[49:15]

This is our Zen practice, actually. How do we practice? This is how we practice in our daily life, without holding too much opinion and idea about things, and just being open and responding, and letting deep wisdom come out. What hinders deep wisdom is our little wisdom, which is protecting ourselves So how can we more and more be open? This is to let, as Kadagiri Roshan said, let our flower, life flower bloom. Let ourselves come to who we are rather than closing down with our opinions and ideas about it. It occurs to me, what you said about needing life, that's kind of what the first vow expresses, that we want to meet all sentient beings.

[50:44]

And where do all sentient beings meet? Where do we all meet? Not in our differences. Where are we all the same? If we meet where we're all the same, then we can allow for all the differences. So, let's please continue sitting Zazen. This is where we all meet. This is where we meet all sentient beings.

[51:37]

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