I now taste the truth of the Tathagata. Several people have asked me to talk about the fast for life. Does anybody not know what the fast for life is? I think we all, you don't know. A fast for life is A group of people who are, okay, right.

[01:01]

Soon, people will be fasting for, will have been fasting for 30 days and then pretty soon they will be, have been fasting for 40 days and that's quite a bit of time. And after 40 days, it could be very critical, or even after 30 days. And there seems to be a lot of, right now, some tension growing around the situation. And the newspapers aren't really picking it up. My feeling about the fast, I'll tell you about my feeling about the fast is that I feel like a lot of people that it's something that I don't want to initiate or something

[02:29]

that's happened that I don't have a choice about and that it holds my feelings in bondage in some way. And so that brings up a kind of non-sympathetic feeling in me. But on the other hand, I feel that it also wakes up something in me that I find it easy to avoid or to ignore. And when I think about that, I realize that the purpose of the fast is to help us to not ignore what's happening.

[03:31]

I think that, you know, it puts something under us, some kind of uneasy, makes us uneasy. And that uneasiness is actually good for us because it's so easy to just fall into our usual, normal ways of thinking and ignoring the situation. So, although on the one hand, I feel resentful, slightly resentful, on the other hand, I feel very grateful And it helps to show me what my position is. Helps to show me, by taking it seriously, helps to show me how I think and feel about what's going on in the world.

[04:44]

And the events of nuclear leading to nuclear destruction are so overwhelming that we tend to want to put it out of our mind and just go about our daily business. And I find myself lapsing into that, you know. I find myself just forgetting about it because I have a lot to do. and I don't want to be interrupted. So, myself, I need some kind of something to keep pushing me along all the time. And these people are taking it upon themselves to help us get out of our complacent attitude.

[05:56]

or help us out of our complacency and to do something, think about it and think about our own position. So, I have these mixed feelings and I wanted to share those with you and to think a little bit about practice, how those people are practicing and how we practice. to have a single-minded practice, you know, a very direct, vivid kind of way of practicing

[07:34]

very extremely desirable for us. If we could have the same kind of attitude in our daily practice, I think that this kind of way can encourage us, not just in nuclear disarmament, but in our daily practice of Buddhism. If we were so single-minded in our practice of Buddhism, then our vows to help people, to save sentient beings, would really become manifest, would really bear fruit. That kind of energy and dedication is quite wonderful.

[08:51]

I think that, you know, in Buddha, in the Buddha scriptures, it says that people who are in the various heavens in the Buddhist scriptures there is a whole hierarchy of heavens that it's possible to live in. And the people who live in these heavens, heavenly realms, have such a wonderful time that they don't have a chance to practice Buddhism. And even if they hear about it, They don't have enough desire to practice because everything is going so well for them.

[09:58]

Quite often, the people who really practice or are attracted to Buddhism are people who have hit the bottom, come all the way down to the bottom. And there's only one way to continue, and that is to seek the truth. But we're so buoyed up by our dreams of heaven and by our temporary heavens, havens, that it's hard for us to really sincerely practice. We're always looking for some easy way. and easy ways are so easy to find.

[11:17]

And practice is so difficult. If you, to enter into practice is initially very difficult, it gets easier once you have established a practice. But even then, it has some difficulty. There's always some difficulty. And if we face the difficulty and enter into it, then the difficulty we have becomes our teacher and provides an opportunity for us. But if we avoid that, You know, if when we come to a difficult place, we avoid the difficulty and find a haven someplace, then it becomes difficult for us to hear or to see or to continue.

[12:36]

And so there's so many havens, or heavens, all around us. And it's so easy to just, when we come to that place, to say, oh, this is nice, or I'll try that, or, you know, sometimes we get the, brochure at adult schools. And if you look at it, at that brochure, there are thousands of classes given by people. You say, boy, that one's interesting. Gee, I'd sure like to learn that. Wow, that's an interesting class. And you can just try to educate yourself. Try to avoid your life by learning and educating yourself. in various wonderful ways. It's very exciting and interesting to gain knowledge.

[13:47]

But it's not the kind of knowledge that we get through practice. It's not the kind of understanding or knowledge that we get through practice. And to not get sidetracked and keep ourself on a path is one of the most difficult things, maybe the most difficult thing, to actually stay on a path. It's like when you try to count your breath during zazen. Maybe sometimes you can get from one to ten in a very concentrated way. You can count from one to ten over and over again and still have your thoughts going by. but to have the thoughts, to have the counting in the forefront, to be the counting, and count up to 10. That's different. That's very rare that you can actually be that concentrated. And it's so easy to fall off.

[15:01]

We're constantly falling off. As soon as you start to count to three, As soon as you get to three, you're already in a dream, already dreaming. And if you know how to, if you practice counting your breath over and over again in zazen, you realize how much of your mind remains in a dream. Most of the time we're dreaming. And to have some concentrated zazen, completely concentrated zazen, is almost impossible unless we really are single-minded in our effort. I appreciate the single-minded effort of these people.

[16:10]

Even though it's uncomfortable, makes me uncomfortable, I appreciate it. And if we could just practice that way in our daily life, the vividness of practice and the vitality of practice would be altogether different. But we're always seeking our something. Even though we're not seeking, we fall off. We keep constantly falling off. And we keep constantly bringing ourself back. Falling off and coming back. But that's the nature of our life and the nature of our practice, is that we're constantly falling off and coming back. It's the nature of zazen.

[17:13]

that we're falling into the dream and coming back to reality. Falling into the dream and coming back to reality. The dream is a kind of reality too. The dream is a kind of reality too. But if we only know the dream, and not the basic fundamental reality of what's right here, then our life just takes place always in a dream. Okay. There's a koan about Nansen, Zen Master Nansen, and a famous poet of the day, who was also a good Zen student.

[18:51]

And they were walking by in the garden. And I may not have the story exactly right, but the poet said, look at that beautiful flower. And Nonsense said, what is it? The poet couldn't say nonsense that people can't see it even in a dream. So anything that helps to wake us up is very good for us.

[20:14]

And usually, what helps to wake us up, we don't like. We usually get angry at something when it wakes us up. Because of, we don't want to be disturbed. If I tell you to count your breath, you say, okay, but you don't like it. If I say in Zazen, please count your breath, you say, yes, I will, but you don't like it. You'd rather not do it. That's beginner's practice. Or, I spend all my time dealing with numbers. Why do I have to count in zazen?

[21:16]

What does zazen have to do with numbers? But it's very good for us. It helps to wake us up, to keep us awake. The important thing is to know when we're asleep and know when we're awake. To fall asleep and to stay awake are natural. It's natural to do that. To have a dream and to wake up is also natural. But we should know, now I'm having a dream. Now this is a dream. Now this is asleep. Now this is awake. We should know that. That's mindfulness practice.

[22:27]

To know this is a dream. To know this is awake. To know this is asleep. Mostly, we don't know when we're dreaming. We know when we're asleep, pretty much. Not always, but it's easier to know when you're asleep. Much harder to know when it's just a dream. Because our dreams become our reality. And we're constantly living in a dream. But we should know this dream, this is this dream. And we should know this is fully awake. I think we should be fully awake to the fact that the world may come to some kind of an... civilization may come to some kind of an end.

[23:56]

And we should help to keep that from happening. We can't. Maybe we can't. But even though we can't, we should make the effort to try. I don't think we should say we can't. You don't know whether we can or not, so it's always a toss-up. But that shouldn't stop us from making the effort If we look for the result, if we say, oh, this won't have a very good result, or the result may not be forthcoming, that's not a reason to stop. Just to do the thing to do it, just to do what we need to do for the sake of doing it,

[25:05]

It keeps us awake in reality. At least we're awake in reality now. That's important. We've been through, in our Sangha, we've been through a lot of development in how to deal with social issues. And I think we should continue to develop what we've started, which I think we've done pretty well. developed a way, or are developing a way, that enables us to participate in a way that we feel good about.

[26:21]

And I would like to see us continue. And I would like to encourage us to use this opportunity that's provided by the Fast for Life to do something positive. There are certain events that are scheduled that people can participate in. I would like to make us aware of that, of what those are. I'm not sure of the dates of the events. Maybe Nina knows. Where is Nina? Can you say something about what those events are?

[27:23]

And the pastor is the last that we each have to write 10 letters to heads of government and media concerning the past and the goings-on. And so that's between September 6th and 9th. And then September 5th. has been announced as of today at the World Business Institute and we're encouraged to agree on that and to do something No business as usual means to make a statement by not doing your usual thing, to some extent.

[28:58]

I think if you can take the day off for that reason, that's good. But you may just be able to make a small statement. You may not have to take the whole day off if it's too difficult. It's a little bit like a strike. It would be quite wonderful if everybody stopped everything for one day in the world. That's not so likely. I think that right now things are much more, with this airplane thing, that everybody's jumping to conclusions about what happened.

[29:59]

Nobody knows what happened. Everybody's jumping to conclusions. It's quite frightening the way everybody seems to know what happened and nobody knows, really. more fuel to make our relationships with Russian more difficult. But I think it behooves us to put some energy into expressing our feelings, even though we feel Oh, that won't help. They're going to do what they want anyway. I think that it helps us to express our feeling and our attitudes.

[31:00]

It's rather disappointing, you know, when you send a letter to Pete Wilson, who is our senator, and he sends a letter back thanking you for saying the opposite of what you said. That's very discouraging. But I'll just keep writing him some more letters. And maybe one of them will reach him. So this is a very good situation, practice situation for us. It's something that's addressing us, and so we have to, we can't avoid it, and we have to address it. And that's definitely in the realm of our practice.

[32:10]

Maybe you have something you'd like to say, or a question? I have one image in my mind, and I think I must have come across it just once, but it's never left me. And I think it's unknown that you should practice as if your head was on fire. calm, with calmness. Practice as if your hair was on fire, with calmness of mind. I think that's important for us to remember. paralysis.

[34:05]

Yeah, that's not calmness of mind. That's right. Another is agitation and powerlessness. Yeah, you know why that is like that? Why the atmosphere is like that? Because they've already given up their life. Once you've already given up your life, then you have calmness of mind. And this is the point you have to reach in your practice.

[35:15]

Once you can actually give up your life while still alive, then you have perfect freedom. And even though you're not worried, you know, there's nothing that you're really worried about. And so you can really help everybody in a true sense. So, and that's how you have calmness of mind. Until that point, you can't, you don't have it. That's why Dogen says, the matter of life and death, birth and death is the most important matter.

[36:30]

That's the fundamental matter. The great matter. Birth and death. Once you're already dead, then you can go anywhere. No fear. And then you can devote your life to whatever you want. without having any stake in it. No more selfish reasons. No more self-centered reasons. And you can see everything very clearly because there's no partiality. And then you really come to life. So when you're die, you come to life.

[37:34]

This is what we have to know. And until we reach that point, we're practicing in delusion. So these people have already said, well, this is an open-ended fast. Maybe I'll die. They're already dying. They've already died in order to do that. So they can be quite at ease. But they're still quite alive. And even though their energy may be low after having fasted for for a long time. They're very much alive.

[38:35]

Their spirit is very strong and very attractive. Non-attachment to difficulties. Zazen is, if you're going to practice Zen, you have to practice Zazen.

[39:42]

I would like to see us all here for our Sashin on the 17th. I know you can't all be here, but I would like to see us all be here. So we can encourage each other to practice We can all live together and die together and come back to life together. Just because you sit zazen doesn't mean that that will happen, you know.

[40:52]

But this is the goal of our practice. To not be partial to birth, life, or death. How to accept our whole being, and how to be our whole being, and how to exist in the reality, not just in the dream. It can be kind of discouraging if you think, well, how long do I have to sit before I attain that state?

[42:41]

But it's not an even old thing, as far as I understand it. One doesn't have to wait until before it happens. It can happen all along. Yeah. You know, as long as we wait for something to happen, we're in the realm of the dream again. As long as we wait for something to happen, we're living in a dream. And as long as we feel that, if I do this, this will happen, that's just a dream. just to sit as it, without any idea about it, without dreaming.

[44:18]

Just to be here is enough. So, our thoughts are dreams. Even our activity is a kind of dream. We think of something and say, well, I'll do that. That's a dream, and then we act out of our dream. Zazen is also part of the dream, but it's also not the dream. It's hard to give ourself up unless we're forced to.

[45:27]

That's the problem. As I said before, we always revert back to our haven. And unless we're forced in some extreme way, we won't go forward. We won't penetrate. So we have to come to that place which is impenetrable. And it takes various forms. Not always the same, but sometimes it is. And we retreat from it until finally we decide that we'll just stay there and not retreat from it and see what happens. And until you get to that point, you don't know what I'm talking about. It means, no matter what happens, I'm not going to move.

[46:38]

I'd rather die. And then you find out what death is about. And you feel very grateful. But unless you have that determination and make that effort, you don't really know what zazen is about or what we mean by dying and living. as long as we escape just a little, at least a little bit. You know, the difference between heaven and earth is 30 seconds of an inch, but it's like the gap between here and the sun.

[47:57]

when we sit, we should do it fully. And that's the purpose of Sesshin, is to help us penetrate, to bring us to that point and help us penetrate At some point, we can finally let go and just be. Just accept ourself completely. Without fears.

[49:16]

Just accept our life completely without any fear. There's a little fear here and there. We need some fear. But basically, no fear. So then we're free to help people. Thank you. Beings are...

[50:29]

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