We're having a short or a long day of sitting until 9, 10. Short Sashim. And I thought I would talk about why we're doing this and how we're doing this. We've been doing this for many, many years. Still, we have to say why we're doing this and how we're doing this over and over again to remind old Zen students and to inform new Zen students. Dogen Zenji, Zen Master Dogen says, in his very well-known Five Points, he says, to study the Buddhadharma is to study the self.

[01:18]

In the past, This question of studying self has been always the main subject for Buddhists. And we have two aspects of self, small self and big self. So when we study the Buddha way, we study the small self, and we also study the big self. But in the past, before Dogen's time, and even before Bodhidharma's time, people had lots of controversy about big self and small self, about the absolute and the relative,

[02:28]

about the dark and the light. Master Sekito, commenting on this in his Sandokai, said, in the light all things are revealed and in the dark all things become one. So we use light and dark in this way. these terms in this way. When you shine the light on things, here we are. But at night, you don't distinguish all these things. In pitch darkness, nothing is distinguished. This is absolute sight of ourself. This is characteristic of emptiness or absolute life.

[03:33]

And then when you turn on the light, there everything is. Trees, flowers, people, houses, the sky. So there's the self that is illuminated and the self that's in darkness. to study the Buddhadharma is to study all aspects of self. But in the past, people got very confused because they tried to understand it through intellection and ended up all entangled with ideas. So Dogen, among others, cut right through that. He said, sit zazen. Don't worry about trying to untangle, disentangle.

[04:39]

Just sit zazen. Bring the two worlds together. When you sit zazen, the two worlds become one. No need to worry about the absolute realm and the relative realm, or your small self and big self. away with descriptions, just experience for yourself. This is why we sit zazen, to bring forth our true nature, which is both relative and absolute, and neither relative nor absolute. Indescribable, and yet everything is it.

[05:47]

So one big question is, what is it? What is it is a fundamental koan. What is it means? Who are you and what is everything? What is the fundamental thing? That's our big question. And fundamental thing is beyond description or beyond thinking. This is why we actually have access to experience without having to figure it out. The more you try to figure it out, the further astray you go, as the old saying goes.

[07:00]

But yet, It's important to have intellection and some idea about things. It's just that they only go so far. If we don't have some idea and don't try to understand, then our practice is very dry. And if you just try to understand without practice, your practice is very dry. So, Dogen says, to study the Buddha Dharma is to study the Self. What he means by study is not what we mean by study. We usually, by study, we think study out of a book. But study, in this sense, means by doing something over and over again. doing something very thoroughly over and over again.

[08:10]

Thoroughness is one of Dogen Zenji's central themes. Thoroughness means to do something completely, to do one thing completely. Completely means penetrating both relative and absolute. It means to penetrate the reality of things through each action, each activity. To be able to see the whole thing in a grain of rice. So that's why Soto Zen practice has an aspect of formality and carefulness. Soto Zen practice is very careful.

[09:24]

Not fastidious, but concentrated and careful and compassionate. This kind of carefulness, attention to details and attention to caring for things is a compassionate practice because we see the absolute value of each thing. not just the comparative value of things. Usually, we're only concerned about the comparative value of things. If you go to buy a car, you compare one with the other, and compare the prices, and then you make some decision.

[10:26]

But in the real world, things are beyond comparison. Everything has its own absolute value and cannot be compared to anything else. So to penetrate the Buddhadharma is to penetrate to the absolute value of each thing, of each ephemeral fleeting phenomenon. And this is what we call study. So, then Master Dogen says, to study the Self is to forget the Self. Forgetting means merging.

[11:32]

Merging with things. To actually Forgetting doesn't mean to forget. It means to be one with whatever one is engaged with. When you are completely engaged, then you forget yourself. An artist can be really absorbed in the canvas. sense of time is not our usual sense of time. And there's just the canvas, the tool, and the activity, and it's all one thing. It's not some extraordinary activity.

[12:35]

We're not talking about some extraordinary activity. When you actually allow yourself to be one with your activity, that's called ordinary life. So what seems extraordinary is actually ordinary. But the reason it seems extraordinary is because of our dualistic thinking. our separation, which is so hard to get past. To study the Self is to forget the Self, to drop, to become one with our activity. So, during Sashi, we have this opportunity to be one with our activity. There's nothing else to do. There's no other goal.

[13:39]

The reason that we sit sasheen, or practice zazen, is just to become one with our activity, and to allow each moment's activity to be incomparable. When you start comparing, then you get lost. When you have pain in your legs, you compare it with the time when you didn't have pain in your legs. And you say, this is terrible. Because you're comparing. So to forget the self means to let go of comparison. To compare your practice with someone else. That person can sit all day without moving, and here I am wiggling around.

[14:44]

This is comparative practice, which is not zazen. You are you. The person next to you is the person next to you. That person's practice is their practice. Your practice is your practice. Someone may say, We say, well, when you sit Zazen, sit up straight. But some of them may say, I can't sit up straight. My back won't let me sit up straight. What'll I do? Do what you can do. Sitting up straight for this person is not the same as sitting up straight for this person. So we say, I'll give you Zazen instruction, which is Zazen instruction for the person who is in perfect shape physically. But you should sit Zazen according to where you are on the scale physically.

[15:52]

Sometimes people lie down in Zazen. Occasionally someone just can't sit up, so we have you lie down. The reason that we don't lie down ordinarily in Zazen is because you might fall asleep easier. We do fall asleep sitting up, but it's easier to fall asleep when laying down. So it's pretty hard to sit Zazen, to actually sit Zazen laying down. Very hard. And it's actually easier to sit Zazen sitting up. And when you're sitting up, the best way you can, which doesn't mean according to the instruction I give you, literally, although if you can do that, that's fine, but according to what your capabilities are, then the effort is the same for everyone.

[17:04]

So, although it looks like laying down is effortless, it's not. It takes a lot of effort to lay down and actually do zazen. It takes the same amount of effort to do that as it takes to sit up and do zazen. So, you might as well sit up, unless you really have to lay down. But it's okay to lay down. any posture works that is suitable for you. And when I give Zazen instruction to people, I don't tell them they have to sit in full lotus. I show them how to do that. But I always say, you should sit in the way that's most comfortable for you. Because you're going to have to sit for 40 minutes without moving. So choose the posture that's most suitable, that's easiest, not the hardest, the easiest, and just learn to sit.

[18:11]

And then little by little, your legs will want to do something else, and your body will become more accustomed to sitting. So in order to Forget the self. We have to put all of our effort into Zazen. If you want to forget the self and study the Buddha dharmas, you have to put all your effort into Zazen. Zazen is not... Some people think that Zazen is just sitting there. But it's not just sitting there. It is just sitting there, in one sense. It's sitting there with full function, whole body and mind, fully functioning, with nothing left out. Stretching the torso.

[19:14]

If you can't stretch your torso, then you do what you can do. But this is ideal, right? Ideal Zazen. You stretch your torso and put all of your energy into sitting up straight and into checking all the points of your posture throughout the period of Zazen. I always say this, give yourself Zazen instruction. When you sit down, give yourself Zazen instruction as if you were somebody else. And how do you do that? Well, how do you sit Zazen? And you remind yourself all the time, because that's all there is to do. And of course your mind will be drifting. Your thoughts will be drifting. And then you keep returning, making the effort to return.

[20:17]

So Zazen is not just resting. If your effort is total, then that's resting. Then you can actually rest in that. You can find real ease. When your effort is total, then your body is at ease, and your mind is at ease. But when it's short of being total, then you get tired, and There's some wavering and wobbling, which keeps you from actually being at ease. When the top is spinning, you don't see it. It doesn't look like it's spinning, but it's totally at ease. When it starts to wobble, you see it spinning, and the energy gets lost.

[21:20]

So Zazen is like a spinning top. When it's really spinning, in perfect dynamic activity, it doesn't look, it's just standing still. But if you touch it, it goes poof! This is how we should sit Zazen. So, This is forgetting the self. And Dogen says, and to forget the self is to be enlightened by the 10,000 things. It means everything you encounter enlightens you. Instead of seeing things as adversaries, we see them as ourself.

[22:32]

To forget the self is to see everything as ourself. To become totally one with things. And something might kill you, but something will kill you anyway. So we have this opportunity in Sashin to really take care of each moment, to take care of our breath, to take care of each other. Someone's in the kitchen cooking, we're dining. cutting vegetables, stirring the pots, getting things out on time.

[23:45]

This is Zazen. Same thing. If someone asks you to work in the kitchen, it's a great opportunity to take care of things. Dogen says you should treat the pots and pans and the rice and vegetables as your own head. putting things that belong down here, down here, and putting things that belong up here, up here. Finding the right place for things, for everything, and treating everything with great respect. Treating your tools with great respect. Treating the knife that you're cutting with, with respect. And treating the carrot with respect. the way you cut the carrot.

[24:50]

That's you, the carrot, and the knife, and this motion, all one thing, on each slice. That doesn't mean you should work very slowly. People get into working very slowly, mindfully. Mindfulness is important, but it doesn't mean to do everything as slow as possible. There's also the time factor, which is involved in mindfulness. Something has to be done in a certain time, and with a certain kind of energy. And that's also mindfulness. And when we're serving, sometimes I think people go too fast. And we're trying to get the food into the bowl, That's not mindfulness. Each person should be served, each bowl should be served with mindfulness.

[26:01]

Not trying to get to the next one. So each activity is a whole lifetime, even though it's only a moment. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. And when we scoop, we should know what we're doing when we scoop this cereal and put it carefully in the bowl. It only takes a little bit longer to do it that way. But we get into this thing where we're trying to get something done. And as it says in the Xin Xin Ming, the hurrier The hurrier you go, the further behind you get, which is really true. How to be really in time. This is one of Dogen's most fundamental teachings, is how to be in time.

[27:06]

How to be time. Not be in time, how yourself to be time. Be one with time. When you're completely one with time, there's no time. And yet, there is time. But there's time for everything. So this is a really important aspect. To be completely one with time. To be in time. Do everything in time. Not to get behind. not to get ahead. How do you do that? How do you stay completely in time without getting ahead or behind, without rushing and without dawdling, always right on So this is a self-joyous practice.

[28:27]

When we can do this, our practice produces joy in the activity. Then Dogen says, To be enlightened by the 10,000 things is to drop body and mind of self and others. Dropping body and mind of self and others means to not see or to go beyond the duality of you as a subject and someone else as an object, or whatever you're working with as an object. to actually flow like water between one cup and another. Even though we say this is a cup of water and this is a cup of water.

[29:32]

An empty cup and a cup of water. You can pour this cup into that cup and then you can pour it back again. Or if they're half full, They flow back and forth into each other without interfering because it's all water. Although this is this cup of water and this is this cup of water. And then he says, no trace of enlightenment remains. And this trace, this no trace continues endlessly. Never mind about enlightenment. If you can just do the practice, there's nothing to worry about. If you can just do the practice, there'll be no trace of enlightenment, no stink of enlightenment.

[30:39]

There are people who like to strut around talking about being enlightened. They are not enlightened. Being enlightened produces humility and hard to recognize, maybe hard to recognize an enlightened person except by their actions, which are always very humble and very unified. not worried about enlightenment or not trying to impress somebody with their realization. So to penetrate the dark side through the light side,

[31:59]

to find the dark and the light as one. This is our practice. To appreciate the absolute value of things, as well as the comparative value. We always have to compare. We can't help compare. But when you compare, you should compare on the basis of absolute value. This, compared to this, gives you some way to choose. But each one of those choices, each one of those things that you choose between, is far above your judgment as to what they are.

[33:04]

Far beyond your judgment as to what they are. When we understand this, then we have compassion, compassionate practice. This practice is called Jijuyu Samadhi, a self-joyous practice, self-joyous samadhi, which includes its opposite, which is called Tanjuyu. Jijuyu means self-fulfilled or self-joyous. Taju-yu means other, rejoicing with others. This is the practice of Vairochana Buddha.

[34:08]

Vairochana Buddha is the Buddha of universal light. It means shining light on the whole universe. And two aspects of it are ji ju yu and ta ju yu. Ji ju yu is going inward, shining the light inward to illuminate yourself, as Dogen says. Ta ju yu is illuminating others, or illuminating outward to help others to realization. So, just doing the practice, just doing Chikantaza, which is another name for Jiji Yuzami, just doing, without worrying about it, illuminates your world.

[35:23]

So we don't do this practice just for ourself. When we stop worrying about ourself, of course we have to be concerned about things, but when we stop worrying about ourself, then we can actually help people. So, today, we're sitting Zazen all day, and we should make this kind of effort to be one with our activity, to let go of ourself, to let go of worrying about ourself.

[36:40]

One of the biggest problems we have, I think, is worrying about ourself. We should be concerned with how everyone else is doing, how we help people, and let go. To study the Self, to study the Dharma, is to study the Self. And to study the Self is to forget the Self. So it's possible to penetrate to our true nature through each moment's activity. It's possible to penetrate to our true nature through each breath. When we sit, we sit from breath to breath. Inhale, and exhale. Just one small lifetime.

[37:53]

And next moment, one breath. Next moment, this breath. Just this breath. Without even worrying about next breath. If you, when you exhale, you just die on that breath. And then strangely enough, when you inhale, you come back to life. And then you let the breath go and just die with that breath. Let go of everything. And then inhale, you come back to life. This is a life cycle. If we know how to study breath, we know how to study our life. We know how to study our life and death. You can study breath by thinking about it, but if you just become one with breathing, then you don't have to worry about birth and death.

[39:18]

Whatever happens, it's okay. When there's pain, it's just pain. Although, it's pretty difficult. It's just difficulty. When things are feeling nice, it's just nice. But when you want it to stay that way, it changes. And then you don't like it. And then you suffer. So to forget the self means to stop thinking in that way, to stop grasping. for what you like and pushing away what you don't like. Grasping and pushing away, grasping and pushing.

[40:32]

At any moment, you can reach your deepest self. It's all accessible. Just stop discriminating between what you like and what you don't like, what you want and what you don't want. Just breathe. Let breath happen. Present yourself to the universe with everything you have. Sitting up straight, you know, putting all your effort into sitting up straight means, this is, here I am. This is Adam's statement.

[41:46]

Here I am. So, our practice is fairly simple. but difficult. Very easy, but very difficult. Why is something so easy so difficult? The hardest place to be is where we are. That's why, I think. The hardest place to be is where we are.

[42:49]

This is where the path leads. So, to be where we are means to let go. Let go of body, mind, grasping. You know, one of the wonderful things in Sashi is when we have tea in the afternoon. I remember the first time I had tea in the afternoon, how wonderful that was, you know, just a simple, after all this work, a simple cup of tea and a cookie, presented in this very nice way, you know, compassionate way. To just be with that and have that wonderful satisfaction of such a simple thing,

[43:55]

Life can be very satisfying and be very simple at the same time. So if we want to have satisfaction in our sitting, the best way is to not hold anything back. not hold anything back. Even if it's difficult not to do that. Even if it's difficult to not hold things back, to make that effort. Whatever it is, the effort is what's important. Whether you succeed in your ideal is not so important. What's important is wholeheartedness and the effort that you can make.

[45:04]

given whatever the limitations are. There are no limitations that will stop you. There is actually no hindrance. The only hindrance is your idea of hindrance. When we do something, do it wholeheartedly. When you drink your tea, drink your tea with two hands. When you pick up the cup, you're not just drinking a cup of tea, you know. You're actually doing something. You're interacting with this cup. Interacting with this cup. The drinker, the cup, and the water, or the tea, it is one thing.

[46:12]

And usually we bow, a kind of wonderful acknowledgment So let's sit with that kind of effort, please, and serve with that kind of concentration, and walk carefully, mindfully. Whatever we do, everything that we do in Sashin is part of that activity.

[47:29]

So when you have your break, Break is a break, but it's still sashimi. So we keep our mouth closed, keep the energy concentrated, not spread out, no leaks. And when you lie down, just lie down. That's your practice at that moment. When you sit down, just sit down. That's your practice at that moment. Sit down completely. Lie down completely. Walk around completely. Go to the bathroom completely. Wash your hands totally. There's no small act that's not included. So this, even though it looks like my practice, it's not my practice.

[48:54]

It's just practice. It's just this activity. And it's not for my sake. It's not that I will be better or worse. It's just what it is. And whatever benefit there is, we give it away. to the universe. So we say, may this practice, the merit of this practice be extended everywhere. That's why we do it. And we're also included.

[49:57]

But it's not just some practice that we do for self-improvement or for some personal benefit. So please think about this. Thank you. ♪ In your sign of grace ♪

[50:34]

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