I tried to be in the pillow, but it was a little hard. I'd always, what? It needs to cook some more. It needs to cook some more. I'd always wondered what it felt like. Maybe she did. So this is our second day and Mel slept in late and is still in the throes of a terrible cold. And we told him that a well-being service had been said. I hope he found that encouraging. So it's our second Sesshin day, and it feels very quiet.

[01:04]

Very quiet, sort of, heart of the winter sitting. And it's also not too uncomfortable. Asendo is really quite warm. We didn't used to have heaters. So this Rohatsu Sesshin is a time when we come together and really enjoy our commitment to the practice. Our commitment individually and our Sangha commitment. It's a time where our Dharma family is very bright, palpable, especially in this kind of gray, cold weather.

[02:10]

So I hope there's some enjoyment in our settling down on this second day. I want to continue talking about GGU Samadhi, the self settling on the self Samadhi. G, the self, Ju, using, receiving the self, and Yu, the process of that.

[03:25]

How we are sitting here and receiving ourselves. How we are sitting here and coming home with the whole self to the big self. I'd like to read another passage today from the Bhen-do-way, Bhen-do-wa, which is about GGU Samadhi. And I'll read the whole passage, it's a long paragraph through, and then I'll talk about it in pieces. There is a path through which the Anuttara Samyak Sambodhi, incomparable awareness, of all things returns to the person in Zazen, and whereby that person and the enlightenment of all things intimately and imperceptibly assist each other.

[04:41]

Therefore, this Zazen person, without fail, drops off body and mind, cuts away previous tainted views and thoughts, awakens genuine Buddha Dharma, universally helps the Buddha work in each place, as numerous as atoms, where Buddha Tathagatas teach and practice. and widely influences practitioners who are going beyond Buddha, vigorously exalting the Dharma, which goes beyond the Buddha. At this time, because earth, grasses and trees, fences and walls, tiles and pebbles, all things in the ten-direction Dharma realm carry out Buddha work, therefore everyone receives the benefit of wind and water caused by this functioning. And all are imperceptibly helped by the wondrous and incomprehensible influence of Buddha to actualize the enlightenment at hand.

[05:52]

Since those who receive and use this water and fire extend the Buddha influence of original enlightenment, all who live and talk with these people also share and universally unfold the Buddha virtue. And they circulate the inexhaustible, ceaseless, incomprehensible, and immeasurable Buddha Dharma within and without the whole Dharma world. However, these various mutual influences do not mix into the perceptions of the person sitting, because they take place within stillness, without any fabrication, and they are enlightenment itself. If practice and enlightenment were separate, as people commonly believe, it would be possible for them to perceive each other. But that which is associated with perceptions cannot be the standard of enlightenment, because deluded human sentiment cannot reach the standard of enlightenment.

[06:58]

So it's a pretty grand passage. And it sort of covers our whole practice. I'd like to talk about the first part of it. this path through which incomparable awareness of all things returns, which is this GGU Samadhi. And I'd like to read A little piece of Uchiyama's commentary on this settling the self on the self samadhi. To practice zazen as GGU Zamae is to sit within the reality of life as one mind is all the myriad dharmas.

[08:05]

All the myriad dharmas are one mind. When we practice this, all the myriad dharmas influence the one mind. This occurs without concern for whether you believe it or not. One mind, that is my life experience, and all the myriad dharmas, the world which I experience, are not two, but one reality. Therefore, the two help each other. So, as we sit with this settling that especially goes on in Sashin, period after period, just coming back to body and posture and sensation, allowing the thoughts to filter down, as we sit this way,

[09:11]

The small mind that we associate gradually comes larger and larger as we are more aware of the continuing flow of thoughts, feelings, sensations. It's very impressive to sit facing the wall. and more and more experience this flow. And as we experience this flow, we just naturally flow out. Flow out with the myriad dharmas to the myriad dharmas and become that flow. So the small point of view gradually relaxes, opening the hand of thought. The small point of view relaxes and dissolves little by little.

[10:18]

And this doesn't feel like much. It's just what we're doing and it's just what happens. So it's rather startling to read Dogen Zenji and to open up our minds, our understandings to the enormous possibilities of what is actually going on. that it can be said that enlightenment is just not having a point of view. So little by little in this process we are disassociating with our points of view.

[11:25]

Therefore, this Zazen person, without fail, drops off body and mind, cuts away tainted views and thoughts, awakens genuine Buddha Dharma, universally helps the Buddha work in each place, as numerous as atoms, where the Buddha Tathagatas teach and practice. Cuts away previously tainted, views and thoughts. That really is our path. This cutting away. Ben Do Wah, the title of the fascicle, means Ben wholeheartedly. Do is the Word for Tao and Wa is the story.

[12:40]

So it's the story of how we wholeheartedly negotiate the way. And this wholeheartedly negotiating the way is our development. It's who we are, what we've become. and is partly our story, partly our karmic story and our personal story of just who we are, what shape we happen to take, what circumstances we come into. The word Tao or the Do in Bendo-wa is comprised of two kanji And one is face and the other is walk.

[13:42]

So our way is that we are walking in the direction of our face. In a certain way there's no, there's very little choice about it. Our development is not a matter of choice. It's partly a matter of history, and it's partly a matter of what we call luck and partly a matter of practice. Saint Thomas in the Gnostic Gospels says, if you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

[14:45]

And that's somewhat the story of our development. That our development blooms and opens and we join the world insofar as we use ourselves. well and completely. And when we're not using ourselves well and completely, when we're not bringing forth what is within us, we suffer. So the tainted views that we have constitute our suffering. And as we sit these long days we certainly get a chance to see the particular colors or the shape of our cages.

[15:57]

We don't construct our cages knowingly, and we're given at least part of the apparatus. But it's often hard, and sometimes we're very, it's very clear what our cage is. Our suffering is very clear, sort of focused, Other times, it's not so clear what the shape of the cage is. You kind of know it's there, but you don't know what the shape is. So as we sit these days, it gives the shape a chance to manifest itself.

[17:10]

and so you may be finding that you have particular kinds of issues that are coming up that maybe what's coming up is a lot of variations in the theme of fear or anxiety or variation on the themes of anger, opposition, irritation, or other major themes. And as you, as the thoughts come, these little kinds of splashes of the themes, you can begin to collect them.

[18:19]

And notice how the cage is being constructed. Notice yourself making dialogues up that have something to do with opposition, or have something to do with wanting to be irritated. And that's a very fruitful time when you begin to really see that pattern needing to be recognized. neediness, whatever it is, but you begin to get some kind of shape and that's a very fruitful time. And it's a very good time to practice this particular practice of noting.

[19:33]

The Chokho Bek is so strong on and teaches so well. Just again and again noting the particular theme. There's great strength in that. That just noting the theme persistently for just a few days will change your relationship with it. If you do it persistently, it can't help but do that. Because the cage isn't real. Like ghosts, it is dissipated with the rising sun. So just persistently, this one thing, noting and noting and noting.

[20:41]

And the world begins to get a little bit more spacious. And you have a chance to settle. in a more relaxed way, more stable way, and a more connected way. Uchiyama has a nice story which is quite famous about a farmer coming out to a field of squashes And he's upset to see that the squashes are fighting with each other, tangling and knocking, fighting. So he comes with his hoe and he puts it down hard and he says, wait, stop. I want you all to sit Sazen. And he teaches the pumpkins how to sit Sazen.

[21:52]

And after they've sat for a while, He says, their hands on their little bellies, their little round bellies. He says, all right, now each of you put one hand up to the top of your head and what do you feel? And there, of course, is the stem. And they realize that they are all one vine. So that's our That's a nice Sashin story. We feel that as a Sangha too. This often in the early days or perhaps all the days as we get quiet and as these interior ghosts and as our energies rise more sharply we can love each other and also get very easily irritated by each other.

[22:59]

And at that point, it's nice to remember our common vine. At this time, because earth, grasses, trees, fences and walls, tiles and pebbles, all things in the ten-direction Dharma realm carry out Buddha work, therefore everyone receives the benefit of wind and water caused by this functioning, and all

[24:08]

are imperceptibly helped by the wondrous and incomprehensible influence of Buddhas to actualize the Enlightenment at hand. So how do we believe? How do we come to really more than believe, but appreciate and get nourishment from the fact that when we do step out of our cages, when we do drop off body and mind, when the small tainted views relax, that everything helps us. that everything cooperates. When Buddha was enlightened, he said, I and all beings are enlightened.

[25:17]

Extraordinary comfortness, comfort of this. any time when we just let go, when we just give up. We are allowing the embrace of pebbles, tiles, trees, leaves, each other. I always very much appreciate before giving a talk, bowing at the altar, A certain amount of karmic storm builds up before a talk. And then you can just bow at the altar and give it all up.

[26:25]

That's such a comfort. So from moment to moment we can breathe in and out and give it up and receive the encouragement that comes from that. Uchiyama Roshi says that faith is believing that what I see through my own eyes is not real. Having faith means believing that things seen through one's own eyes are not real, but things seen by Buddha's eye are real.

[27:30]

However, if you think that believing this idea... Now, this is going to be a wonderful text on doubt. However, if you think that believing this idea is also nothing but a kind of thought, you overturn the idea. This is doubting. But the idea is overturned yet again when you let go of the doubt, because such a doubt itself is nothing other than a thought. It is an interesting world. You can let go of such doubts too. This is determined faith. No matter what kind of thought it is, it will fall away when we let it go. This is where the whole world of Zazen opens. I think that's really the last word on doubt. According to Buddhist definition, faith means to be pure and clear.

[28:36]

True life connected with the myriad dharmas instead of individual's physiological life becomes pure and clear as the life of the self. This is faith. This life of the self is easily tainted due to the power of personal egocentric mind. Letting go of thoughts, we become pure and clear as true life. So someone said, it could have been read, that faith is like a muscle and we have a little bit of it And then we notice something nice about it and we keep practicing it. Keep practicing this letting go. Letting go of our I. Practicing that connection.

[29:48]

And strengthening this muscle of faith. And as it gets stronger, it just begins to naturally cooperate with the world. And becomes this process that Mel talks about so much of turning and being turned. It enters us into this turning and being turned process. And so we're willing to just sit and have a lot of thoughts and notice them and come back.

[30:58]

and have a pain in the knee and notice it and come back. And be turned by this stillness, to let the stillness turn us. and to really appreciate our commitment to this practice. Faith. It's very easy to feel a little bit on the outside of things, a little bit on the outside of the Sangha.

[32:08]

to have a desire for practice, but feel that it's a little bit impossible for me. Kind of skittishness, a shyness about practice. So that's where this Sesshin really supports us. how we can enter into it as last night we did the ceremony for the annual ceremony for Suzuki Roshi and really allowed the ancestors welcomed him and our ancestors celebrated our commitment together.

[33:17]

So this doubt about commitment is just a doubt. And strengthening the muscle of faith is a winner, if you keep at it. However, these various influences, mutual influences, do not mix into the perceptions of this person sitting, because they take place within stillness, without any fabrication, and they are enlightenment itself. If practice and enlightenment were separate, as people commonly believe, it would be possible for them to perceive each other,

[34:26]

But that which is associated with perceptions cannot be the standard of enlightenment, because deluded human sentiment cannot reach the standard of enlightenment." So that's pretty good medicine for us when we're in the mood of, um, my practice is lacking. My practice. is not as good as others. Or this period of Zazen was a good one. You know, that's just all our conceptual fabrication. And it has very little to do with the whole story. It's just another little secretion in the midst of the whole story.

[35:32]

We don't We don't understand what's going on. And that's a terrific blessing. Only a Buddha and a Buddha understands and we don't. So that our freedom doesn't mean freedom from our experience, but it means our freedom within our experience. And our freedom within our experience means continually coming back to that point at which the experience is rising before it becomes

[36:45]

a view before it becomes a construct. Continual return to the freshness of our experience. And in that point we're including everything and there's no obstruction. Yesterday, Rebecca, who is ill today, was helping a couple of us sew Sojin's new green robe. Light green on the outside and dark green on the inside. And it is made of a rather porous linen

[37:52]

And it's a fresh experience to sew it. The stitches show quite violently. And if you make too small a stitch, it just disappears in the porousness of the material. And so as you look at this robe, which has had many hands sewing it, You can tell it's not a machine-made robe. It is not a perfect robe. And all these stitches sewn with namu kiebutsu, I throw myself into the Buddha, each little stitch. So you see the the variations and all the different hands that have sewn on this robe.

[38:58]

And as you sew yourself, I'm not a good sewer, and just about each stitch is a little, has a little difference, a little undesirable difference, certain wandering. And it's going to be a wonderful robe. And afterwards, coming back and sitting Zazen, I felt as if each, in a certain way, each breath is a little stitch. And the experience on each breath in Zazen is quite an intricate whole experience and has its own little particular trace. And I was thinking that sitting zazen is like sewing the Buddha robe.

[40:12]

Now we open Buddha's robe, feel far beyond form and emptiness. Our sitting zazen is our very patient, wonderful sewing of the invisible robe that we wear. Very fortunate work. So, I was afraid. Yeah, yeah. I was afraid this period would not be filled up, but it was. I think where a person starts to lose faith is when they go back to their regular life.

[41:23]

There's never been a headline that says, all is delusion. Every headline is telling you the truth. Every person is telling you the truth. And you're bombarded constantly by the truth. That's not the truth. Therefore, as hard as session seems, it's nothing compared to your life, which changes the instant you walk back into it. The doubt, the lack of faith comes in because we can't get everybody to do this. No, no, you have no effect on, direct effect, perceptible effect on anybody else. So then there seems to be the struggle of how do you maintain not a point of view in a world of, you know, it seems like almost survival depends on a point of view.

[42:32]

So, you know, then if you continue, It seems before you sit zazen, you feel the human condition is to be filled with anger, emotion, etc. And that you're a victim of that. Then when you sit zazen, you realize you created it. It's in him. Why? What's underneath that? Is it all the same universal experience? Does everybody create this because we don't want to know them? I think so. I think so. I think so. What we want is what we most, what we want here is also what we most fear. Yes.

[43:46]

I would. Yeah. Does anyone else have a thought on that? Well, I think it's easier to agree than disagree. It's such a complicated notion. But I wonder if people are just afraid of not existing and have to create all these concepts in this cage to be sure. I mean, as you say, look how we clutch for our positions and terribly hesitate to give them up. Well, where does social action fit in all this? Because I think that there, you know, there is a... I still clutch to the idea of a right and wrong. And at some point it seems important to act.

[44:51]

It seems important to act without being attached to the outcome. And yet it's really very easy to be angry at the things that are going on in this world. I agree that there's a different kind of There's a small anger and a big anger, it seems. Yeah, I agree. These big energies I talked about last week, and anger as a big energy is a very important one. It has a tremendous amount of power, and Padmasambhava coming to Tibet and the pregnant tigress, the sort of fiercest beast in the world, It does. So how do we let these energies invigorate and manifest through us? Well, I'm always coming back to that, what about social action?

[45:55]

And the way I come back is this, the fundamental story of inclusion, that since everything is included, that we are parts of the one vine, that what needs to be protected is the harmony, the injustice, the harmony. I mean, that does require a lot of action. That's where, that's what I come to. But good and evil and all that, the whole ethical, all the ethical qualities are certainly there and we need them. We just also have to know how we're using them. Yeah.

[47:00]

I think it's tricky to understand this thing about points of view because actually in the what's right and wrong from the standpoint of how I feel at any given moment or what I might want.

[48:03]

So it calls for really, really close somebody down, building something up. But I think it's pretty important to remember it's not quite just a flat and value-free universe.

[49:08]

It's just, I think that the work of the Dharma is So within that, you need to find the right view. There is something that's right. And wouldn't it be a value-free university if there were not people in it? No, I mean that's a serious question. Isn't this just a human... Why speculate? Because I think all of your concepts that I hear when people talk about social issues is basically a humanist point of view on the universe.

[50:18]

That man is the center of it. And the center of it and the most important thing in it. I don't... See, I'm not trying to think of it. From a human point of view, I mean, that's obviously a point. Well, that's why I'm asking that question. They take humans out of it. And is there bad? If you take humans out of it... Is there good and bad? Doesn't a bird have good and bad when it eats a worm? It just takes what it needs. Yeah. And it doesn't take extra. I mean, birds don't have bank accounts, worm accounts. Sure. I don't think so. somebody's scrupulous research or other, but I haven't seen animals and plants hoarding things that they don't, or wasting things.

[51:21]

Everything gets used completely, whether, if they don't use it, they're part of a system that then uses it. Leslie had something she wanted to say. If you're so concerned, why don't you learn to cook it at home?

[52:47]

driving 25 miles to Lucky, so I guess driving 25 miles to the store seems better. My reaction to what you just said, I've been struggling for a couple of days.

[54:19]

I've been practicing for almost 20 years and I've got a ridiculous number of official degrees saying I know something about some of this material. And I've had some wonderful experiences, especially in the last few months. In the last two days I've been convinced I don't know how to do it. And then it occurred to me something like, I really don't know what's going on. I don't know that this is a bad thing, Sid. One of my favorite little tricks is to just hang out with the fact that anything at all is happening is just a wonder.

[55:22]

And I sometimes make it a little bit into too much of a forceful technique, a little whip on myself, okay? Touch being. Just being. And I don't know that it would make sense to others, but to me it was very heart-softening and felt beneficial to admit that, no, I don't even know what being is. I have no idea. And so it's still very incomplete. My mind is different questions than the whole point of the lecture today. But I have a sense that where faith and doubt are sort of the same thing, at least for me, is this sort of soft-hearted honesty. And being really For example, I don't have an answer to your question, but what it reminds me of is how helpful it can be for me just to sit with how it feels and how it seems.

[56:49]

And sometimes a response blows out of that. Thank you very much David. P-A-C-E-N-C-E

[57:08]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ