So we need to be very careful to keep up our effort to the end, not to anticipate the end. As soon as we start to anticipate, it's okay to anticipate, but anticipation is just another thought. it's natural for the thought to come up, but the next stage is becoming attached to the thought.

[01:25]

So first the thought comes up, The second thought is, gee, what will I do tomorrow? Some kind of anxiety producing thought. Anticipation thought. And the third thought is the most important. The third thought is the habit thought. just like that produces a habit. So the third thought is really important. Either you come back to what you're doing, or you start to wander. This is also true in zazen.

[02:33]

The third thought creates the habit, and then the pattern is established. And then it's pretty hard to get out. But up to the third thought, it can still get out. It's still a way out. And the same thing goes for our directions, when we take a direction in some way. The first thought is the introduction. The second thought is the focusing on the thought in an exploratory way. And the third thought is either leaving or continuing. If you leave, then you can

[03:37]

either stay where you are or go someplace else. But once you make a thought, once you take up the thought or the action a third time in that direction, then it sets up a pattern of steps in that direction. So this is how karma works. First there's the action, and then there's the next action, the next step. And after the third step, you have a tradition. Tradition is that after you do something a couple of times, you have to keep doing it. And it gets stronger and stronger. So there are good habits and bad habits. We can't get away from habits because we don't want to have to think about every little thing we do so minutely.

[04:45]

So we set our habits so that we can live our life more easily without having to make a complete decision on every moment. We don't have to make a momentous decision on every moment. So once karma is established, the pattern keeps perpetuating itself. So we really have to be careful in the beginning about what our direction is. And all of us are here. because of the results of our karma, because of the results of our action. And our patterns, each one of us comes from a completely different place.

[05:55]

We all come from the same place, but at the same time we all come from a completely different place. And our karma, has worked out in such a way, the result of our karma has worked out in such a way, that we all find ourselves here. Pretty interesting. And we don't always know exactly what brought us here. That's also pretty interesting. We have some idea. When we begin to practice, something brings us to practice. And sometimes we know what it is, and sometimes we don't.

[06:55]

But we only know it vaguely. So we want to know the rest. And it's like Buddha leads Buddha to Buddha. Sometimes we think it's our ego, which it is. Ego leads us to Buddha. But the ego is also Buddha. So what we, the question is, what brought us here? Good question. When we find out what brought us here, we'll know why we're here.

[08:05]

And we'll know who we are. But it's possible to be here and not know what we're doing, not know why we're here. It's possible. But it's also okay. When we realize why we're here, then you'll understand the meaning of Buddha and the meaning of faith. Anyway, this is the last day of Sashimi.

[09:09]

So please, let's not get anxious. Let's remain in our activity. all the way to the end. Today, to this evening, we'll have a show song, and so I would like you to think of some good questions for me. Today, I'm finally going to open this book.

[10:12]

So I want to read this koan from the Moomin Koan about the Daitsu Jisho Buddha, Daitsu Great Penetration Buddha. His name is Great Penetration of the Dharma, Dantuk, of the Buddha nature. A monk asked Koyo Seijo, Daitsu Chisho Buddha sat in Zazen for ten kalpas and could not attain Buddhahood. He did not become a Buddha. How could this be? Seijo said, your question is self-explanatory, the monk asked, but he meditated so long.

[11:36]

Why could he not attain Buddhahood?" And Sejong said, because he did not become a Buddha, or because he was a non-attained Buddha. This is the case. And Mulong, Master Mulong, his comment is, I allow the barbarian's realization, but I do not allow his understanding. When an ignorant man realizes it, he is a sage. When a sage understands it, she is ignorant. And then, Luman has a verse in the case. Better to emancipate the mind than the body. When the mind is emancipated, the body is free. When both body and mind are emancipated, even gods and spirits ignore worldly power."

[12:40]

Tetsu Shisho Buda. Sent in Zazen for ten kalpas and did not become Buddha. So the question here, of course, is why didn't he become Buddha? If he said, if he's already Buddha, actually, why didn't he become Buddha? The question isn't the answer. Because he's already Buddha, he cannot become Buddha by sitting in zazen for ten tapas. This is an obvious koan, not really too difficult. And it points up the fact of no attainment. In the Heart Sutra it says, no attainment. And Bodhisattva depends on Prajnaparamita.

[13:49]

Because of no attainment, the Bodhisattva depends on Prajnaparamita. Even though we all know that our practice is a practice of non-attainment, still, somewhere in the back of our mind, we harbor the thought of attainment. We don't think so much about becoming Buddha. In the old days, people used to think about becoming Buddha. We're not becoming Buddha. Buddha is not that familiar to us, but we think about becoming enlightened. We harbor the thought of becoming enlightened. So somewhere in the back of our mind, we harbor the thought of, even though there's no attainment, still, when will I attain something, enlightenment?

[14:57]

And many of us, most of us actually, have experienced some kind of ecstasy. So when we think of spiritual states, we tend to think in terms of some kind of ecstasy or good feeling. Suzuki Roshi was always warning us about ecstasy. In those days, we were People who came to Zazen were hippies and it was the drug culture.

[16:07]

LSD was just becoming popular. People were comparing Zazen experience to hallucinatory drugs. And Suzuki Rishi, They always say, well, if you want to have some wonderful experience, you should take drugs. If you want to have some ecstasy, you should take drugs. Not something to get high on, not something to get off of. Ecstasy is like wonderful experience.

[17:14]

When we have a wonderful experience, everything else around us in our life pales in comparison. And we cherish this wonderful experience. And so we're always, because of that wonderful experience, we keep trying to recreate a similar experience or a greater experience. And so we get attached to ecstatic experience. And when we get attached to ecstatic experience, we really get lost. is to be ordinary, and to appreciate it, and to understand it.

[18:35]

In his comment, the man says, when an ignorant man realizes it, he is a sage. And when a sage realizes it, he is an ordinary human being. That's pretty good. That's good enough. This practice is for ignorant people. Yes, that's it. For people who have no particular abilities. So if we come to Tassajara expecting some great experience. We tend to miss what's actually happening under our feet.

[19:38]

It's like Kenneth's book, when it first came out was called, Selling Water by the River, which is a great title. And then the second time it came out, it was called, Sandy's Eternal Life. But the first title was so wonderful. Selling Water by the River. There was a picture of this It's a great, great phrase. It's like standing in the middle of a river and yelling for water. Help, I need water. And you're standing right there in the middle of the river.

[20:52]

But we don't see the river. Because we're looking for wine. Something else. It's the water that quenches our thirst. If you keep drinking wine, pretty soon you're really not water. So, This practice is a practice of just drinking plain water. And it doesn't turn into wine. Well, maybe it does. In a certain sense, that precept of not selling wine not selling intoxicants or taking intoxicants.

[21:55]

Suzuki Roshi always used to interpret that as, don't sell Buddhadharma as something to get intoxicated by. Actually, when we sit in zazen and we have sashimi, we do get kind of hot. You can't help but get kind of hot. It's really wonderful when you walk out of the zendo. The whole world is fresh and new. The world doesn't change, but our relation to it is very pure. Our relation to ourself is very pure. But if we hang on to that feeling, try to hang on to that feeling, it's a mistake.

[23:16]

Or if we try to create some special feeling, it's a mistake. That's why zazen itself is no special state of mind. And if we try to create a special state of mind, called enlightenment or euphoria or something. It's not Zazen. It's not our true enlightenment. So Zazen is mirror wisdom. All the four wisdoms are contained in Zazen. But mirror wisdom reflects everything as it comes. If there's euphoria, then it reflects euphoria. If there's suffering, then it reflects suffering.

[24:21]

But it doesn't remain attached to anything. It just allows everything to pass through. Attachment is Na is samsara, and non-attachment is nirvana. Non-attachment in its true sense. So the other day I was talking about ego as the seventh consciousness, which appropriates everything to itself, and it's called attachment. Its name is attachment. Attachment to, in this case, to states of mind. When we become attached to states of mind, special states of mind, it's just a big ego trap.

[25:28]

Our ego becomes attached to states of mind. So we keep seeking special states of mind. and very hard to cure. And we keep running around, finding new ways to do it. But sometimes, for no reason at all, we have a wonderful, euphoric, open state of mind, which is very beautiful and wonderful. And we really want, as soon as we want it, as soon as we try to keep it, it leaves. Just like when sitting in zazen, as soon as, when you're feeling kind of a wonderful state of body and mind, as soon as you become self-conscious, it leaves.

[26:33]

Maybe you've been sitting for six days, and suddenly you feel very light, and wonderful, and at ease, and you feel it, and suddenly you think, gosh, this is great. This is it. And then suddenly, your legs start to hurt. And then you think, well, now, by thinking that, did my legs start to hurt, or did my legs start to hurt, and then I start, and then I thought it. Does that question ever come up? Did my thinking about it make my legs hurt, or did my legs start to hurt, and then I started to think, my legs hurt. Very interesting question. What happened?

[27:53]

Some little chink there, really, became self-conscious, grasping, holding on, attached. So we can become attached to good states, we can become attached to painful states. Becoming attached to painful states is expressed as, I don't like this. We think that that means that we're not attached. But I don't like this, this attachment, as much as I like this. It goes both ways. So we become attached to good states, we become attached to bad states.

[28:59]

They're not bad states or good states, but they become bad states or good states according to whether or not we're attached to them. So it's very difficult to see through ego, because it's there, controlling us all the time. So Lu Man says, I allow the barbarian's realization, but I don't allow his understanding. The barbarian, of course, is Bodhidharma or Buddha.

[30:10]

In China, people were considered barbarians if they were not Chinese. So if they affectionately call Bodhidharma And it means he allows his realization, not his understanding. Understanding is intellectual understanding. Realization is his true understanding. The Daitsu Chisho Buddha sat in Sanzang for ten kalpas without without realizing or attaining good. This word attaining is a good word, interesting word, because it has the feeling of getting something, attainment, grasping.

[31:18]

And attainment is based on lack. We lack something, then we want to attain something. But when we have attainment, real attainment, we realize that we don't lack anything. But we feel, before we have attainment, we feel like we lack something, like there's something lacking. But even the feeling of something lacking is attainment, is realization. The feeling that something is lacking is a kind of realization. And the realization that there is nothing lacking is also realization.

[32:25]

Just to be able to sit in zazen without thinking good or bad, without attachment to any state of mind, but just letting all states of mind come and go, accepting everything as it is. There's no lack. Nothing lacking and nothing gained. we may have realization, or we may be enlightened, but not have realization. Because even though we may be enlightened, we're still running around looking for realization. And in his poem, it says, better to emancipate your mind than your body.

[33:54]

Better to emancipate your mind, he says, when the mind is emancipated than the body is free. Because the body and the mind are not two things. We say the mind where the mind goes, Buddha says, mind is the leader. But deeper understanding is that body and mind are not two things. So when the body is free, of course, when the mind is free, of course the body is free. And when the body is free, the mind is free. That's why in Zazen, The body is as important as the mind. They're not two. In our usual activity, we put a lot of emphasis on the mind. Sometimes we feel that the body is a kind of vehicle for the mind, kind of something that holds the brain so that we can think a lot, but...

[35:06]

Body and mind. No separation between body and mind. Sometimes we think about out-of-the-body states. Somebody will tell me that they have an out-of-the-body state. Which is fine with me. But our practice is The realization is that the body and mind are one. But if you're out of your body, you must be out of your mind. My body is out of my mind. I have an out of mind realization. I'm not saying that's wrong or bad, but it's separation. So sometimes we separate things and look at them.

[36:15]

But total realization is body-mind realization. If the body is So, our thought and our action is one piece. That's why we say, don't think in Zazen, but it doesn't mean to not have thoughts. It means don't separate body from mind. body, mind, and object.

[37:16]

Don't make the body an object. Don't make the mind an object. When both body and mind are emancipated, even gods and spirits in the world of the five means when there's total freedom. No need to gain anything in the worldly way. No need to have worldly power or control. The world is free. When you are free, the world is free, and everyone else is free, even though they don't feel like it. So this is the narrow door to freedom without attachment to any special state of mind.

[38:24]

But as soon as we start to anticipate, then there's attachment. As soon as we start to long for something, Other than what's here, there's the danger of attachment. The first thought of longing is okay. The second thought of longing necessitates a decision. And the third thought of longing can reflect. So when the thought comes up, Daito Shishoku, that sat for 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,

[39:32]

Zen is Zen. You are you. Very good. Zen is Zen. Yeah.

[40:29]

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