Case 27 of the Blue Cliff Record. A monk asked, how is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall? Lung Long answered, body exposed to the golden wind. How is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall? I'm like, too. How is it... That's better, isn't it? How is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall, body exposed to the golden wind? So I don't know if many of you noticed, but I noticed I'm getting older.

[02:21]

I also noticed that both political parties are now espousing Buddhism change. Except in Buddhism, it's not the change that you want or expect that's the one that happens. In fact, what you want to change doesn't change, and what you don't want to change, changes. So one of these things is old age. My mother just died two weeks ago, so it's also a kind of, it's a great hole that opens up every once in a while, and then it closes. But I realized that Each one of us is a whole universe. And when someone dies, a whole universe dies. And when someone's born, a whole universe appears. And usually there's some competition between the new universe and the old universe.

[03:29]

But that's just because we see them as judgments. Suzuki Roshi said, when you're 50, you look like or when you're 30 you look like your genes and when you're 50 or 60 you look like your practice. I also feel that there's an opportunity when you hit 50, 60, 70 and you can see it in many people where they kind of drop their expectations and are just present. And when you're 25 or 30, you have a fresh energy in which you want to start all over, throw out the bums. But Buddhism, I think, honors seniority.

[04:35]

And the reason we honor seniority is because it's not about talent. It's not about who's the most talented person. And of course, if you honor seniority, then you have to encourage everyone who's less senior than you. But what happens is some people want seniority and to block the younger generation, and the younger generation wants to throw the older generation out And that doesn't work. Either one of those scenarios doesn't work very well. The political campaign is so much about age. Age and change. Well, age is inevitable and change is inevitable. So what are we fighting about? Now, it may be that at a certain time in your life, it's appropriate for you to do one thing rather than another.

[05:42]

I can't play basketball the way I used to in the 20s, when I was 20 or 25. But maybe I have some, maybe I've learned something. Let's leave it as a possibility. The problem is if you learn something, Then you think you know something. And then you don't respect new ideas. And if you have new ideas and you don't respect the old, then you're trying to reinvent the wheel again. So this happens in some Zen centers. Maybe it happens here, too. There's a generational shift. And because of the demographics of America, the demographic shift is happening now. But instead of using our ages or our political points of view as judgments, if we use them as information, then we can use them.

[07:00]

Then we don't have to lose any universes, either old or new. Buddhism has a whole stack of sutras, many of which are contradictory to one another. But we don't throw them out because there may be a time when a sutra which seems not so useful, it will be useful. And what we think is the most useful might not be so useful. Lun Lun has another koan. Lun Lun is a great teacher. But this other koan is, medicine and disease cure each other. The whole world is medicine. What is the self? Medicine and disease cure each other. The whole world is medicine. What is the self? I think

[08:07]

We know very well that medicine and disease cure each other because you're given some medicines to cure some diseases but you don't have the disease, it's a medicine, it's a disease in itself. So I think we understand that. The whole world is medicine is everything has a potential to heal. And what is the self? That defines what medicine and disease are. So I'm struck by the inevitability of change and the inevitability of one generation coming up and another generation lying down. But I think it's most helpful if we respect both generations, respect the experience of the older generation,

[09:16]

and respect the impatience. Well, not impatience, but let's try something else. Let's kick out the jams. Those are both important moves. You know, I don't think we know our parents. We know our parents, how they relate to us. But we don't know how our parents relate to their peers. There's a whole universe there that's different than the one they relate to us. And our kids, the same thing. If you ever have a chance to see your kids playing with another kid or talking to another kid, it's so exciting. Well, you're caught in the same... But to, and if you have a friend who doesn't know you, who doesn't judge you, who's just there for you and listens to you and is listening to who you are today, it's a great feeling.

[10:32]

Rather than talking to someone who knows who you are and knows where you came from and knows where you're going. There's some truth to that, but it's self-fulfilling. So, how is it when the tree withers and the leaves fall? When you get older, you have physical problems. At least I do. And what do you do with it? Do you rail against it and say, I wish I could do that again? Or do you let it go and see what's underneath? Without trying to accomplish or do something, can you feel the golden wind?

[11:37]

When you stop striving, sometimes you can take the backward step and feel the golden wind. When my mom was getting older, I had to move her out here because I didn't think she could live by herself anymore. And she lived with us, but that didn't work too well. It was too close. So I found an assisted living place which was three blocks from where we lived so I could spend a lot of time with her. And the last five years of her life, I saw her life narrow down. Things were pretty good until she had a stroke and couldn't walk. And things got narrower and narrower. But the first narrowing was a blossoming. When my mother wasn't frightened, she often would forget things or only have very incomplete memory.

[12:41]

And that's, of course, very frightening, because you don't know who you are or where you're going. Sound familiar? It's actually true, but it's very concretely true when you're older. And when she got frightened about that, it was very difficult on her and very difficult on everyone she was in contact with. But when she wasn't frightened, she just kind of let go. It was a great gift. She was radiant. The last few years, I would always come and bring her something, often strawberry ice cream. I figured it would help her remember who I was. And sometimes she didn't necessarily say who I was. She said, that's my brother, that's my husband, that's my son. And I'm not sure if she just got the words wrong or she wasn't clear on the concept. I don't know. In the last few months, she would light up when I came in the room, eat the ice cream and say, sleep.

[13:53]

So it was time for her to go. She wanted to go. But still a whole universe died for me, an important universe. When the tree withers and the leaves fall, the ornaments of your life fall away? And can you just experience the inhale and exhale and say, wow? Most of the time we say, I've got to have a more interesting thought than inhale and exhale. But it's important in institutions or sanghas that we recognize and encourage each generation.

[15:05]

And seniority is important because it's not about who's the most talented person, it's the person who's been around. Now, sometimes you don't go strictly by seniority. There are some cases where the next abbot or the next president, you want to make sure they have some talent. Well, maybe not too much. And it's interesting that people who come to a Zen center that I notice who can sit full lotus, who have no problem with pain, they don't last. We often feel sorry for those people. They don't have anything to work on. So it's no use. It's only when you're working on your vulnerability and limitations that practice takes hold. If you're good at it, well, do something else. So I hope this gives some relief to all of you who feel like you're not doing it very well.

[16:12]

That means it's working. When I came to Zen Center 36 years ago, yeah, 36 years ago, If you would have taken the census of those people who you would think would be here or there 36 years later, and those who would stay, you'd be completely off. In fact, I don't know why I'm still with this. Maybe I ought to leave. No. Let's just stay right away. body exposed to the golden wind. When you hit a certain age, there's a possibility to drop your stories. It's not exactly you stop your stories, but just stories get a lot simpler.

[17:20]

Or a lot more complex, I'm not sure. Anyhow, it changes. And you're not so tied to your story. When you're young, you have a lot to prove, or at least you think you do. When younger people come to me and say they're going to see their parents and they ask me what book they should recommend, I said, don't bring a book, just go and do the dishes. That's what's important. That's what your parents will recognize rather than Some quote from Dawkins. I recently read his biography of Shen Ying. Shen Ying. He's a Chinese teacher who was born in 1930.

[18:27]

And I understand he's very sick now. His book is about to come out and I was asked to review it. I was really impressed with it. First of all, he led a very interesting life growing up in China. He didn't walk until he was three and didn't speak until he was five. Can you imagine what low self-esteem he might have? And he grew up when the Japanese were invading China, and they weren't the most, the kindest group of guys. And when the nationalists and the communists were fighting, they weren't always the nicest group of guys. But he didn't demonize them in this book. In fact, toward the end of the book, he actually praised Japanese Buddhism, which for a Chinese Buddhist to do is

[19:32]

takes great breath because it's easy to get caught on what the Japanese, the Chinese. What's interesting about this book is the first 30 years are about his life, the details of his life. He grew up in the countryside outside of Shanghai and eventually went to a monastery, eventually left to go to Taiwan as a soldier in the Nationalist Army. And his life was rather interesting about his family. But then after his 30, it doesn't tell too much about his comings and goings and where he lived and talk more about his relationships to his teachers and about a certain kind of mysterious transformation that was happening with him.

[20:34]

Xin Yang doesn't, he's not trying to build himself up and praise himself. He points out where he made mistakes and where he feels very embarrassed. But it was such a warm-hearted, generous book. It's called Footprints in the Snow. I recommend it to you when it comes out soon. But it also taught me a little bit about age. Now, Barack Obama, or John McCain were Buddhists.

[21:39]

That would be interesting. They could have the same slogan, but they'd have different behaviors, I think. Well, I think I've opened up the subject there. Do you have any questions or corrections or additions? Yes? So aging is actually a gift? Whether it is or not, to take it as a gift is best. To take any handicap you have coming as a gift changes your attitude. So you're all middle-aged, not young or old?

[22:51]

Now as you get older, what you consider middle-aged changes. So one thing is that you can try to plant a new grove. But it's important to realize that there's a personal loss.

[23:56]

It's not just the trees alone. So that's a good insight. But instead of just grieving, you can plant them. Of course, they probably could be cut down again, but then somebody else will plant it, and a seed will keep growing. You know, when we talk about the environment and global warming, this is particularly poignant about the death of species. But if we don't give up and have our heart building as much as seeing the destruction. That's what we can do. Sure, sure.

[25:14]

What I've learned is that if you're younger, you side with the young, and if you're older, you side with the old. Or if you're a rebel, you side with whosoever's not in power. And if you're a company man, you side with the company. And all of those are funny. So there's a natural tendency for an older person to want to hold on longer than they can. I was speaking with an older woman, a wonderful woman, who's 86, who's actually the exact age my mother was. And she's got some disease which is going to get her in the end pretty soon. And she wants to live her life the way in which she can be the most creative.

[26:18]

And she doesn't want to live in an assisted living place. But it may be the best choice for her. I suggested that she call AARP or some institution like that to get a list of the places that she could live and mention the qualities that she wants in the place and the qualities she doesn't want and choose the best she can. So there's a tendency to maybe want to hold on as long as you can, which is how true? But it may not be realistic. And then there are Recently at Cent Center there have been a number of situations where younger people have been given positions that the older people might have had. And it hasn't worked out so well in the community because if seniors aren't taken care of, the juniors notice it and don't want to stay.

[27:26]

But on the other hand, if you ignore the and vital blood that's coming up, you're making a big mistake. So I think it's all a matter of relationship. It's not a matter of positions. It was a matter of positions. It's a matter of relationships between people. And so the older generations should be doing all they can to bring up the younger generation because they're going to be there after us. And we've messed up bad enough. But the younger generation, if they ignore what's happened in the past, then they're going to just relive the same mistakes. But the people who have learned from the past are a little bit stuck with what they've learned.

[28:39]

That also has to change. But we shouldn't lose what they learned. Does that help? Yeah. So I mean, what I'm hearing you say is that if both sides really respect and love each other, that's the only way it can really work. Yes. If each side has got to do seniority, It's got to be new blood. It's got to be the meeting of those things. That's what Buddhism is about. That's what only a Buddha and a Buddha is about. You know, I think of all my teachers who have died, and what I've learned from them, and what I wished I'd learned, which I didn't. And then all of my students say, I want to encourage them, I want them to come up as fast as possible, but it's easier to give than to deny.

[29:48]

But it's not always right. How do you cope with fear of the body? How? Well, what I learned from my mom is that one of the things I'm going to be studying from now until I die is fear, and how I cope with fear, and how I can try to open to fear, and how I can try not to be overwhelmed by fear. And also, if I am afraid to not demonize myself, because, oh, I'm a bad sense student. I'm afraid. But it's also interesting, if I can find out what I'm afraid of, that helps. I'm afraid of ending. Well, sure I'm afraid of ending, but guess what? The last line of the book, I know.

[30:52]

I'm afraid that all of what I've done in my life will have come to naught. Well, that may be. And there's not much I can do about it, except do the best I can. And in fear of pain and the body deteriorating, you got to work with the body. You don't say, bad knees, you hurt. You say, oh, they're there. Let's try to make it through this period. I don't have an answer, but that's my response. Well, there we go. I probably am him. Excuse me, I'm sorry. Do your best, and your father will respect that, even though he may not have expressed that to you.

[32:41]

If you're a parent, you really want your children to succeed, even though you may be too hard on them. I remember when I was working at Green's, I would notice that I had some opinion going up to a table about whether they'd be easy or difficult to deal with. Those that I was going to be difficult to deal with, I put a little bit more energy into. And in a large minority of cases, it was a better relationship than people who I thought I'd get along with. But in the majority of cases, they were still too difficult. But there was one group I remember when I started to do this. A woman came in with her two daughters, and she was really putting her daughters down, the way they looked, the way they dressed. And I said something which I complimented her daughters. And she was proud. She kind of stepped back from the critical thing, and she was proud that somebody saw the good side to them.

[33:50]

And I realized that she didn't want to be the critic that she was. Yes. Thank you. How much do we have to wither before we'll feel the golden wind? From wither, does that question come? From withering. Well, if you haven't withered enough, congratulations. And I'm sorry. Well dude, why? You shouldn't take this as judgment.

[35:07]

The golden wind isn't a good judgment. And the fact that you haven't experienced the golden wind is a bad judgment. When you let go of something, you can see, oh, this is the way it is. Wow. And if there's no golden wind, you say, wow, this is the way, there's no golden wind here. Sometimes it's translated as autumn wind. So, I see the golden wind around you, and I think if you let go of a few leaves, you'll see it too. Don't bear it.

[36:08]

See what happens. You're going to have to bear it sometime. But if you think you have a choice. There is one student I had who was a big complainer. He complained all the time. He was actually rather tiresome to talk with him. And then sometimes I would start complaining about him to see if I could mix it up. But he got very sick and he stopped complaining. He started accepting things. It was wonderful until he got better. And then he started complaining again. We're kind of human beings. I can't say that to my father.

[38:07]

Oh, no, you can't. No, no, you can't. I can't say let go of dad at the time you're leaving. No, no, you can't. That's his decision. That's not your decision. But... Is there any merit in fighting to stay alive? Yes, no, maybe. Accepting what is, including the fight, is what's important. So it's not necessarily you shouldn't fight, but you say, I'm fighting. And wow, I got a tough opponent. And I know the opponent's going to win, but that doesn't mean I have to give up. And particularly since his mind is sharp and he is cantankerous, He should probably continue. What happened with my mom is she slept, she began sleeping all the time. And I don't think that was so great for her.

[39:13]

But no, you can't, you shouldn't tell somebody who's fighting, stop fighting. You might say, you can relax here and keep fighting somewhere else. How about cantankerousness? Well, that's what you should honor. Because it's not that cantankerousness is wrong, it's just that it may be too widely practiced. I mean, there are many cases where we should be cantankerous. and a certain kind of resistance. Well, first of all, we all resist all the time, everything.

[40:13]

We resist what we want, we resist what we don't want. We want it all at hand's length. But sometimes it's helpful to have something at hand's length. It gives us a perspective. So I will say a blessing for your father. Here, talk about resistance. It's reminding me of a story when I was six years old. I had a friend who was nine, and she was dying of leukemia. And she was one of the happiest people I have ever met. She was very optimistic, and she knew she had a disease, and she knew she wasn't going to live very long. And she kind of accepted her ending. And she lived until her early teens, but there was never a day that I knew and met her where she felt any type of self-pity.

[41:26]

And I think it was because of what you said about letting go, and kind of accepting your situation, and living life to the fullest. See, if you realize you don't have much time, you don't have time to waste on complaining. That's what I think was happening with the person I mentioned before. When he had time, he had plenty of time to complain. When he didn't have any time, he wanted to milk everything or whatever he can get from it. And for all of you, excuse me, but you have limited time. And we don't know how much time we have. But think about what you want to accomplish, what you want to do in your life. how you want to be, because time really goes fast. Okay, thank you.

[42:22]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ