I vow to tell you the truth and to tell you the truth. Good morning. This is the fifth day of Sashin. We passed the midpoint of our teeter-totter and now things are getting easier. Sorry. But, you know, it's possible, actually. They get harder and easier at the same time. Because we We're sitting longer and longer. You're sitting on the same old sore legs, but at the same time, if you are opening up continuously, then even though it gets harder, it gets easier.

[01:19]

So I really respect everyone's hard effort, and I really feel the good energy in the Zen Do. And I always like to think that the people that are having the most difficult time are really inspiring everybody. And especially the newest people, who don't really know what they're doing exactly, are a great inspiration because they're fully functioning without really knowing what's going on, necessarily. And even some of us older people don't really know what's going on.

[02:28]

But even I don't even know what's going on. But this is the wonderful thing about following the schedule, you know. The schedule, it just takes us keeps us in the cycle. And sometimes we might want to run away, but we don't because we're in the cycle. So that's quite wonderful. It makes me appreciate our formal practice. The practice that has forms that help us. I don't like to call it formal practice. I'm just happy that we have, grateful that we have these forms which help us to practice. I remember when Zen Center had its big crisis of leadership in the early 80s, mid 80s.

[03:39]

and Zen Center was kind of in chaos. At Tassajara, the schedule just kept going, and no matter how anybody felt, they just went with the schedule, and Tassajara survived this difficulty, I think mainly based on that the fact that we had this form that was impersonal and everybody could follow it and stay and maintain the practice given all their doubts and difficulties. That's not what I wanted to talk about though. at the maneuver around this thing.

[04:41]

So today I'm going to present this koan from the Blue Cliff Record, which I have talked about many times. It's case number 86, entitled various things. This title says, Uman's Everybody Has Their Own Light. And another title is, Uman's Storeroom and Temple Gate. Both are correct. But I think Uman's, everybody has their own light, is a good one.

[05:53]

Because it's a, well, you'll see. So Ngo introduces the case. And he says, controlling the world, he allows not the least speck of dust to escape. He cuts off the diluted stream of thought, leaving not a drop behind. If you open your mouth, in a dualistic sense, you are mistaken. If you doubt for a moment, you have missed the way. Tell me, what is the eye that has pierced the barriers? And then Sicho presents the main case. He says, Umon spoke to his assembly and said, everybody has their own light. Each one has their own light. But if you try to see it, everything is darkness.

[06:56]

What is each one's light? He asked that question. And later, in place of his disciples, since no one could answer, he said, the halls and the gate, temple storeroom and the temple gate. And then again, he said, it may be best just not to say anything, even if it's a good thing. And then Setcho has a verse on the case. He says, it illuminates itself, absolutely bright. He gives no clue to the secret. Flowers have fallen. Trees give no shade. Who does not see if he looks? Seeing is non-seeing. Non-seeing is seeing. Facing backward on the ox, he rides into the Buddha hall.

[08:01]

So This case, of course, is about light. Throughout the history of Buddhism, light has been a... All the Buddhism ancestors have practiced the practice of bringing forth light. In the Mahayana, Vairochana is the Buddha of radiant light. Vairochana is like at the center of the universe. This of course is Buddhology or mythology.

[09:03]

We shouldn't take this literally, please. First of all, you have to locate the center of the universe. So, where is the center of the universe? But in this Buddhology, everything is an aspect of Vairochana, is a reflection of Vairochana, is an animation of Vairochana. So everything in the universe is expressing this light. So he says, in Engo's introduction, he says, controlling the world, not allowing the least speck of dust to escape.

[10:17]

So we have to look at the meaning of the word control. We usually think of control as an active term, meaning to do something. to stop something or let something go, to keep something out or to keep something in. But control here, if we see control in a dualistic way, that's what it looks like. It looks like we're doing something. But actually, it's possible to do something. Sometimes we actively control, and sometimes we passively control. Sometimes control is doing nothing.

[11:19]

Sometimes control is doing something. In a world of comparative values, we think of something as good and something as bad, something as right and something as wrong, and we exercise control or try to. In a non-comparative world, things are just the way they are and just go the way they go. So we live in between this world of comparative values and the world of things as they are. In the world of comparative values,

[12:28]

Nothing has its own intrinsic being, inherent existence, as we say. On the other hand, each being is totally independent and totally itself. These are the two sides. So, we can say, I am. Or, I am not, but. This but is the place where we live. In between yes and no, in between good and bad, right and wrong, in between existence and non-existence, as someone said, it's like a wavicle. So if we get stuck in Existence, we suffer.

[13:33]

If we get stuck in non-existence, we suffer. Even in between, we suffer. But we should know, we shouldn't fall into one side or the other, get stuck in one side or the other. But we should have the freedom to go back and forth. This is control. What is meant by control is to know what to do on each moment. If we know what to do on each moment, we control the universe. Rinzai, Master Rinzai said, I control the whole universe because everything goes exactly the way I think it should. I want it to go. You shouldn't take that literally. You should understand the meaning behind the words.

[14:39]

We get stuck in taking words literally, and then we argue about the words. Big mistake. Words are used to express certain meanings. Sometimes words are used, dualistic sounding words are used non-dualistically. But if we take them in a dualistic sense, we get stuck in the bog of words. Master Joshu said to a monk, the monk asked, does the dog have the Buddha nature? Master Joshu said, woo, meaning no. But we all know, but it's said that all beings have Buddha nature.

[15:42]

How come the dog doesn't have Buddha nature? Doesn't matter. What matters is no covers everything. Another time, a monk asked, does the dog have the Buddha nature? Joshu said, yes. Yes covers everything. So Joshu can use words because he understands. He can use words to mean what he wants them to mean, even though they're dualistic words. because he understands the meaning of words. So, controlling the world, he allows not the least speck of dust to escape.

[16:46]

This is called Dust here actually means ignorance or discrimination, falling into discrimination. He cuts off the deluded stream of thought, leaving not a drop behind. If you open your mouth, you're mistaken. Well, in other words, if you try to explain this, it's a problem. So please excuse me. You create a problem by trying to explain. So I know that I'm going to fall into ignorance here, but I know what I'm doing. So he says, if you doubt for a moment, you have missed the way. I think hesitate may be good, you know? In Zazen, as an example, letting go is necessary even in the most difficult situation.

[18:05]

If you hesitate, you're lost. You have a big problem. So hesitation means leaving a gap. You know, you become self-conscious. And when we become self-conscious, we leave a gap, and then we lose the thread. So doubt, I think, is good too. If you doubt for a moment, Here we have faith and doubt again. Doubt brings us back to not believing in what we're doing.

[19:09]

You know, I think that we start practicing with doubt, a lot of doubt. And when we enter sasheen, we may have doubt. People say often, how do I prepare for sasheen? How should I prepare my mind for entering sasheen? And I always say, don't think about it. Sasheen is just the next thing you do. That's all, it's just, okay, now we sit down. Then we sit down again. And then we sit down again, that's all. It's just one moment after the next. This is called faith, that we just do our practice one moment at a time. Doubt is, how long is this gonna last? Can I do this? God, this is first day and I can hardly do this, and we have six more days to go, and this is doubt.

[20:17]

This creates a big problem. I said this is the fifth day, but that's just an idea. This is not the fifth day. This is just now. I hesitated to say the fifth day, but I did. That's okay, it is the fifth day. And counting, but in actuality, it's just now. So, don't hesitate to be here now. Don't doubt this moment. Faith is simply having confidence in this moment. Because that's all there is now. So tell me, what is the eye that has pierced the barriers? See the following.

[21:17]

So, the main subject. Uman, Master Uman, said to his assembly, everyone has their own light. If you try to see it, everything is darkness. What is everyone's light? Later, in place of his disciples, he said, the halls and the gate. And again, he said, temple storeroom. He said, it may be best not to say anything, even if it is a good word. So everyone has their own light. That's the main subject. But what is that? What is this light that he's talking about? What is the light that all the Buddhas and ancestors have been talking about. It's actually a term for meaning Buddha nature, essence of mind, the source of things, of course.

[22:29]

But he's saying, but if you try to see it, it becomes dim and dark. If you try to see it means, if you try to see it in some way that matches your idea. So light, you know, is another worm term for enlightenment. What is enlightenment? We have all these ideas about enlightenment. In one sense, it's like how we behave. We behave in an enlightened way, but what is the source of enlightenment? It's light, right? So everyone has their own light, but when they see it, it's dim and dark.

[23:31]

That can mean various things. One thing it can mean is When you try to see it as something that you can identify, it just gets darker. Because it's not something you can identify. Dogen has wrote a fascicle on this koan. called komyo. Komyo means light. It's translated as radiant light or divine light. Divine light has a kind of Christian connotation, but actually that's what it means. So people say radiant light, which is okay. Radiant light is its activity. Divine light is its being. which is radiant. So radiant means there's some place that's where light is coming from.

[24:38]

It's radiating, like from the sun. In the old days, we had sun worshipers, which is quite natural. Or light worshipers. But this light is not the light which we identify as light. This light has no special shape or form, and it's expressed as darkness as well. So Dogen, in his fascicle on Komyo, refers to this case. He really liked this case a lot. He said, and then he gives some examples of people who didn't quite understand the meaning of komyo, like the emperor who thought it was the light of the dragon or people who think that it's red or white or blue or some color or some shape or has, talking about these various qualities.

[25:51]

All these qualities are qualities of light, but they're not the source of light. We have the light of day, and so we think of that as light, the sun's illumination. But when you close your eyes, does the light stop? Do you stop seeing the light when you close your eyes? Suzuki Roshi talked about in the Sando Kai, when he talked about the Sando Kai, that light and dark are like the foot before and the foot behind in walking. One foot goes into the light and the next foot is in the dark. Then the next foot goes into the light and the other foot behind is in the dark. So they alternate, like light, night, and day. But really, Although light and dark are different, the source is the same.

[26:56]

So dark is just a comparative value to light, and light is just a comparative value to dark. So when you go into the closet, it's dark, but to the cat, it may be light. So light and dark are simply two sides of one of light. So when we say light, it's light in a non-discriminating sense. So Whatever we see and whatever is perceived is the light itself.

[28:13]

So we say the darkness is actually, when you understand, the darkness is actually the illumination of the light. So in a non-dual sense, dark and light, which are opposites, are not different. It's just that compared to one, the other appears. So he says everyone has their own light. Each one has their own light. But when we go to see it, it's dim and dark. It also can mean that since we don't make an effort, if we don't make an effort, that this light, this understanding of light doesn't appear.

[29:22]

Some people say, well, he's reprimanding his monks for being lazy and for not making an effort to understand the meaning of their Buddha nature or what we call light. I like to think of light as zazen. And many, historically, In this, especially in the Soto school, Zazen is sitting in the midst of radiant light. Master Hong Xiu, Hong Xiu says, to sit in the center of the circle where light issues forth. Zazen. I have always thought of zazen in that way.

[30:32]

But we have to be very careful. There's a samadhi called komyozo zamae. Komyozo is radiant light samadhi. It's the samadhi of zazen. I remember Chino sensei saying that In Zazen, looking at everybody in the back, he could see all the halos. But you know that everything has, all animals and people have radiance. Its radiance has been measured in a frog. That the frog has a light, radiance, which is a halo, kind of, all around it, as do cats and dogs and human beings.

[31:39]

It's been recorded in Italian paintings. That's a kind of symbol, but I think it's actually, we don't see that because our eyes are not refined enough, but sometimes we can. And we also have a body current which extends out, and when we get close to each other, We feel that, you know, oh, this is as close as we should get in order to have this conversation or in order to meet, you know. Sometimes we combine those lights and that gets maybe too close. And sometimes it's too far away. So when people are on the streetcar closed in, they pull that light in. So everybody can stand together in the streetcar, you know, without interfering with each other.

[32:45]

on the street, you know, we walk around each other. So, for Dogen, and for all the ancestors that have ever talked about this, all of our activity is simply the activity of the light. the light interacting with the light. But if we try to see it, it's like the eyes can't see the eyes. You can look in the mirror and see what appears to be your eyes or the top of your head, but actually you can't see that. In the same way, if you try to see it, if you try to see the light, it's dim and dark. So don't try to see it, just allow it to be.

[33:52]

But on the other hand, you can see it in everything you meet. So everything is actually a mirror. Whatever you meet is a mirror for yourself. You see your light reflected in others. So Setso says, well, and then he says, so if you try to see it, everything is darkness. And then he said to the disciples, it's in the temple storeroom and the temple gate. So it's not something special. It's wherever you are. It's in the lowest temple storeroom and the gate and the halls, meaning you don't have to look around for it.

[35:03]

It's everywhere. It's in and is everything. It's Buddha nature, a way of talking about Buddha nature. But it's a nice way of talking about Buddha nature because we can relate to the word light and illumination, and we can feel that. We can feel what we call light and illumination. If you say Buddha nature, it's a little abstract, but light is a little more immediate, even though we can easily get caught by the word. So, Sencho in his verse says, it illuminates itself, absolutely bright. So it illuminates itself, but it also is, you're the source of light. When he says everyone has their own light, this is the source.

[36:09]

Each one of us, actually, is vairocana, the center of the universe. If I say the center of the universe is here, you may think I'm egotistical. But if I say the universe is here, but it's also there, and there, and there, Each one of us is at the center of the universe, which is called Vairochana. And this light is the light of Vairochana, which is each one of us. I mean when he was a kid? Well, no, it's not different.

[37:27]

You know, there is only you. I alone, alone actually means at one with. So since Shakyamuni realized that everything is contingent on everything else, he could say that. He didn't say that in an egotistical way. He said it in a unifying way. I alone, I at one with the whole universe, am honored in the world. We have to be careful about this word alone. Alone means two different things, opposite things.

[38:31]

Alone means isolated from everything. And it also means unified as everything. Interesting word. So when Shakyamuni was a little boy, seven days old, he held up one hand, one finger to the sky and one finger to the ground. So that was his unifying gesture. So when we have Buddha's birthday, we pour sweet tea over the Buddha baby Buddha who's holding one hand, one finger up, one finger down, unifying heaven and earth as his true self. So then he says, he gives a clue to the secret

[39:42]

clue to the secret. He doesn't explain anything. He simply gives you the clue. Flowers have fallen and trees give no shade. I think that can mean various things. Everybody has a different interpretation of what that means. But flowers have fallen and trees give no shade means there's no hindrance. The light just clears out. And so who does not see if he sees, if he looks? If we really look with the Dharma eye, we can see it, because the Dharma eye doesn't discriminate.

[40:45]

So everything we see is it. And he says, seeing is non-seeing, non-seeing is seeing. If you see, then it's not really what you think it is. If you don't see, don't see means not trying to understand it. If you don't try to understand it, you won't get it. If you try to understand it, you won't get it. You can be it, but you can't see it. Or you can see it, but if you think about it, You don't see it. So facing backward on the ox, he goes into the Buddha hall. Facing backwards means the freedom to come and go, freely come and go. Freedom to come and go means not, whether in the dark or in the light, you never get lost.

[42:24]

You don't get lost in darkness and light. When it's dark, it's just dark. When it's light, it's just light. But the light doesn't depend on light or dark. I don't think so. I think when there's no hindrance.

[43:28]

Could be, yeah. When there's no mental obstruction. Opinion, no opinions. What would that be? I don't know. Yeah, something like that. So, I remember Kadagiri once quoted this term that I really like. He said, the Iron Man's halo is the whole universe. Think about that. I think that's a good summation of this case. Iron man means the enlightened person. It's a masculine term.

[44:30]

For a woman, we'd say, what did we say? Iron maiden. Iron maiden. I forget, what did we say about you? Remember that? Iron woman, I guess, yeah. But iron is actually soft. Iron is soft. Iron is actually a soft metal. Steel is hard. But iron, although it's hard, it's also soft, as metals go. I'm wondering if this is similar to beauty is in the eye of the beholder or, for example, I can look around this room, I can either appreciate

[45:43]

you know, the wood grain and appreciate anything I see, if I'm appreciative, and if I'm not, then it's just, I don't see it, it's just flat over nothing, similar to this case. Well, in some sense. But, you know, appreciative is a kind of, could be a kind of condition thing. we learn to appreciate certain things. Open, yes, open to, that's right. So because it's closer than anything else, right? It's like right there. And the reason that we have problem is because we're so used to it. Let's take it all for granted. So for granted that we don't no longer recognize it. we lose it.

[46:47]

You know what I mean? Children, babies have it, you know, because they're not, they're just being it. But we tend to lose it through our, as soon as we start developing our ego later in life. Then we have to turn around and tame our ego, or curb it. I don't want to say get rid of it, I don't say that, get rid of, but put it under control, which means not controlling, but balancing it, putting it in its proper place so that it has the correct function. Uh-oh. Yes? We're going to be here a long time.

[47:49]

What? Just before you were speaking about a frog having an aura, you said we should be very careful about something. Yeah, probably. Yeah, yeah, well, yes, it's true. But I also think that we do have a light that, like that, but the light that, that we do have that light, but I think the light that Komyozo is more than that.

[48:59]

It includes that light, but it's not limited as that light. Once you and I were in a Chinese restaurant, and I got a fortune. It said, you stand in your own light. Let it shine. I think that's good. Those fortune cookies really, you know. I have a lot of them say, I have one in this book somewhere, I think, using a bookmark. Talking about light, you know, we all have instant frames of reference for this, and it's all very positive for the most part, but I just kind of wonder if the zen flavor is actually maybe more strongly Yes, what he means by nothing is emptiness, right?

[50:19]

But emptiness is form. So if you get stuck in emptiness, you have a problem. And I remember Suzuki Ryoshi saying, even though I don't have to hear that, that we don't emphasize one side or the other. Darkness and light, we don't emphasize one side or the other. So in the dark, in the Sandokai, don't get caught by the darkness, don't get caught by the light. Right, so darkness is very, you know, darkness is like Majamaka, where Madhyamaka, middle way. You don't know Madhyamaka?

[51:19]

Nagarjuna, where everything is taken away. That's emptiness, no boundaries. And light is more like Yogacara. The universe is one being, whereas Madhyamaka is talking about emptiness. So one side is form, the other side is emptiness. They're two emphasis, but they include each other. If we only think about the darkness, the oneness, then we fall into hell. We only think about the duality, we fall into hell. So oneness, you know, form is emptiness, emptiness is form. We have to remember that all the time, that we don't fall into one side or the other. Alan?

[52:23]

A comment rather than a question that connects the first thing you said with this case. about the schedule, the form of practice that we have. It's like we're all functioning together in this great activity, and also each body is functioning. The body functions as the society functions, as the world functions, as the universe functions.

[53:38]

That really connects it to your initial comments. Right. Gary? Unmon is Chinese, right? Unmon, yeah. What's the... Yunmon. That's what we chant? What we chant, our buddha and ancestor? No, I don't think Yunmon is in our ancestor chant. He's not one of, he is an ancestor, but he's not in our, in the lineage chant. You know, all kinds of ancestors, but only some are selected as the generation, to represent the generation. And even though we all All right, it's, well, it is, the light that's our light is the light of everyone's light.

[54:54]

It's one thing divided into infinite splinters. When Gensha was asked, what do you do with a clear mirror? Then you smash it into a thousand pieces. Same thing.

[55:19]

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