Good morning. This morning, first of all, I'd like to tell you how this subject that I'm going to talk about came up. I was asked earlier in the week what I was going to talk about. I said I didn't know. And person said, Sangha harmony? And I said, well, it's been on my mind. And then yesterday afternoon, my father died. And on the way back here, my wife said to me, it's always at a time like this when we wish we could have been kind, you know, more kind. We always wish we could have been more kind.

[01:01]

All the things we didn't do we wish we'd done. And of course that way, you know, that's kind of a blind alley when we feel that way but it's true nonetheless. And it felt very good to have a repentance ceremony this morning before this talk because of, you know, that emotional need of my own. And I began to think about these things last night and her words in the car gave me the subject for the talk and I scrapped what I'd already thought about. And what I'd like to talk about this morning is the idea of kindness in Buddhism. Buddhism was seen by the early scholars as being rather nihilistic, kind of cold wisdom. They missed the Mahayana part, the compassionate part, And so while that's been corrected to some extent, it's still something that has to be addressed.

[02:08]

I remember one time I was asked, you know, where is love in Buddhism? I don't see love in Buddhism. And my answer to that was that if you actualize the first paramita, which is the giving paramita, and you do that, with compassion that I don't think your actions would be any different, say, than Mother Teresa's. And I still think that's so. But this morning one of the reasons that I picked these particular topics is that Blanche actually said to me the other day that we probably should, all of us, should probably study the four Brahma-Viharas and those translate, one translation is the divine abidings.

[03:14]

And I won't pretend that I have all this stuff memorized. Buddhism has lots of lists and these are some more lists. But the lists are there for a good reason. They started out in the oral tradition and it was the way people learned to dharma. It was the way they learned how to behave. It was a code of morality. It was also, more than that, that code of morality led to something more. It led to understanding, really deep understanding. And these lists are still helpful and it's all here to help us. All of these things are here to help us. And the four Brahma-viharas, I think, are a great help. The first one is Metta and that's loving kindness. And loving kindness is the opposite of hate. And Buddhism also talks about enemies and near enemies.

[04:19]

And the enemy of loving kindness would be hate. And the near enemy would be something like selfish affection. And what it's saying, what all of this says, these kinds of formulae, say that loving-kindness is a kind of disinterested in the real sense of that word in the dictionary sense of no attachment, no grasping, nothing to be gained from it. Selfish affection always has some kind of desire, we're after something, you know. But loving-kindness, real loving-kindness is just done. It's just done, that's all. We just do it because that's basically what we are. And that's what all of us are. So it's not hard to do that when we see it in the other person. At this point I'd like to mention a cartoon. Actually this has been part of what I was going to talk about before and I think it's appropriate here.

[05:21]

There's a Gary Larson cartoon that I absolutely love. It's one of the best, it's the best kind of cartoon that can be done. It has no words. It's just the picture. The picture tells the whole story. And there's this really goofy looking duck. You know, one eye is up here and one eye is down here and his feathers are all over the place and it's got a funny bill and it's just really kind of, you know, it's just, it's really a goofy looking duck. And this duck is standing beside a pond. And it's looking in the pond, you know, with this funny expression that says, yeah, I'm just like that. The reflection in the pond is a beautiful swan. Yeah. The first thing we do is we laugh at that and we say, oh, look at that deluded duck. You know, look at that goofy duck. It's looking at it and it thinks it's a swan. You know, oh boy, you know, don't we do that? Aren't we wrong about ourselves a lot? That's one side of that. And that's the side that most of us see. But turn it upside down. What that duck is really seeing is that duck.

[06:22]

That duck really is a swan. We're all really swans. This is what Buddhism teaches, you know, that every one of us is a swan. But sometimes it's kind of hard, you know, to see that. Sometimes we have to dig awful deep to find that swan. But loving kindness is practiced by that swan, for that swan, and with that swan. And all of these, all these Brahma Maharas, are practiced that way, I think. The second one first one being loving-kindness the second one is compassion and compassion is you know sympathy but the kind of sympathy where we identify with somebody we really identify with what's happening it's not it's near enemy and I'd like to get this right is for people who say don't get their, you know, what they want, you know, a big house or a pay raise.

[07:31]

It's not that kind of sympathy for people who don't get something like that. And its enemy, of course, of compassion is just ruthless action. Ruthless, in fact, means just that. It means Ruth is is actually a word for sympathy or compassion and ruthless which means just that, without it. And so with compassion we can identify with the sorrows of others and it's even easier then to practice loving-kindness because we're practicing it for ourselves too. We have to do that first, don't we? We practice loving-kindness with ourselves and when we can accept it for ourselves giving it to ourselves, then we can give it to everybody else. All the other swans. And then compassion comes along and that's a very great, very great virtue in Buddhism.

[08:35]

It's an equal of wisdom and those are the only two that Buddhism really talks about ultimately. And one without the other is useless. Compassion without wisdom can be naivete and wisdom without compassion can be very cold. We need both. The other Brahma-vihara is called mudita, which is sympathetic joy. And that we have compassion, which is more or less sympathetic sorrow, I suppose, in a way. And now we have sympathetic joy. And it's... Its enemy, of course, is aversion or boredom, something like that. And its near enemy would be joy over something that comes from greed, basically. And so sympathetic joy means that we're happy when good things happen for other people, when people get some understanding or equanimity or whatever else we think they're getting.

[09:44]

Not particularly that they got the pay raise at the big house, but the other things, the things that are much more important than that. And finally there's a pecca which is equanimity. And of course its enemy would be agitation and its near enemy is indifference. Equanimity doesn't mean just being indifferent to people, not caring what happens. But equanimity is simply being centered and participating with people. in a compassionate, loving-kindness, sympathetic way. These are the divine abidings and I think you can see why they're considered divine. It's very difficult to do that, you know. It's not too hard to do that for the people we really care about. That's fairly easy. And sometimes it's not even hard to do it for ourselves. Pretty hard to do for people we don't like. That's where it gets tough.

[10:46]

and so we start out with ourselves and then we practice with the people we like and then maybe we practice with the people we don't like. Now these are kind of interesting, you know, the four Brahma-viharas. They're pretty important to the Charivadmas. They're very basic, conserved, very important. Not too long ago we were talking about the Bodhisattva's four methods of guidance. And some of you may remember that the first one is giving, the second one is kind speech, the third one is beneficial action, and the fourth one is identity action. And, you know, that's just a restatement of the four Brahma Maharas in a way. Giving, kind speech, beneficial action, identity action. But what we're talking about here is the actualization of it, doing something.

[11:51]

You know, the others are kind of ideas, in a way. They start out as ideas, they start out as just statements of principle, more or less. These are actions, you know, giving. Be generous. Kind speech. Do that. Say nice things to yourself and to other people. Beneficial action. Actions that benefit all of us. And identity action, which I'd rather just read than try and define it. Duggan says... Let's see. Let's see. Identity action means non-difference. It is non-difference from self, non-difference from others. And then he says, action means right form, dignity, correct manner. This means that you cause yourself to be in identity with others after causing others to be in identity with you.

[12:58]

However, the relationship of self and others varies limitlessly with circumstances. I think that's probably an understatement. Identity action and beneficial action, doing things to benefit others, all of these things, if we can keep them in mind, you know, promote Sangha harmony. They promote harmony everywhere. There's also the six paramitas, you know, giving, again, morality, patience, energy, meditation and wisdom. And giving is so important because there's so much to giving. You know, giving happens in so many ways. You can give to people on Telegraph Avenue, you know, nickels, dimes, quarters, whatever.

[14:03]

You can give dinners for friends. You Give sympathy to people. You rejoice with people in their good fortune. And in there, you know, all those things happen. And sometimes, just as yesterday, I got there just as my dad was dying. Just lucky. And I don't even know if he knew I was there, but, you know, I could at least hold his hand. And after he died, I could close his eyes, which is what you're supposed to do. And what was most interesting and what was most touching about all of that was that one of the nurses, who really didn't attend my dad very much at all, but was there, came in and began to take some of the paraphernalia off the bed and all that.

[15:11]

Suddenly she broke down in tears. And she started to cry. And she said, you know, she said he never smiled, but he called me dear. He used to call me dear when I came in. My dad did that. He could be a real charmer when he tried. And she cried, you know. She cried for this man that she really didn't know. I thought that was really nice of her. Now that's really kind speech. That's beneficial action, you know. made me feel pretty good. And when you get against, when you come up against something like death, you know, right there in front of you, kind of concentrates the mind a little bit. You know, it's not just your everyday experience. It's not just something that you kind of just let slide by. And so the things that I'm saying this morning, you know, are coming from a place that I don't usually dwell.

[16:25]

No. I get just tied up, hung up on all the things of this world as anybody else, maybe even more so. But I think it's most important that we really pay attention to the four Brahma-viharas, however we want to think of those as the Paramitas, as the Bodhisattvas four methods of guidance as a noble eightfold path, the four noble truths. This is really our practice, you know. Our practice isn't to be hard. Our practice is to be soft. Our practice is not particularly to lose ourselves, but not to be so concerned with ourselves. I don't know about death, you know, I don't know what happens when people die.

[17:38]

But I'll let the dead bury the dead. I'm more concerned with the living. And I think that, you know, to try and live our lives this way is not idealistic. It's actually the only way that we can live our lives. To do anything else is not to live our lives. But it's simply to be caught up in something that doesn't mean a whole lot. and it causes us a lot of suffering. And of course, that's the first noble truth, isn't it? Another list. Life is suffering. Well, life is. Bodhidharma says in his first sermon, he says something like, is there anyone with a body who doesn't know about suffering? I thought that was a pretty fair question.

[18:49]

I thought the answer was pretty obvious, too. Yeah, life is suffering. But, you know, the rest of the Four Noble Truths help us with that. There's a cause for suffering, which basically is ignorance, delusion. And there's a cure for that, and that's the Noble Eightfold Path, which is, you know, the way we act. Again, the way we act. We start out with morality and we try to act morally and we look at the lists and we think about what we're doing and that way I think, well I know, that way leads to more. It leads to something deeper than just conformance with rules. It leads to a way you are. It leads you to your swan nature. And then no matter what you're really like, and we all, you know, are goofy ducks, a lot of the time maybe, you know? I think I am a lot of the time.

[19:51]

Probably the great majority of the time. But every once in a while, you know, I can see the swan that's in there. And every once in a while I can even act like the swan. And that's most important. Because Bodhidharma says something else in that first sermon. He breaks it down between reason and practice. And I won't even try to go into this, but basically what he says is that reason leads us to sit Zazen and when we sit Zazen then we fully actualize the Buddha Dharma right then and when we practice it's all these other things and they take place here where we live this relativistic world we live in this place where we can't be perfect where we just aren't nothing is and if it was it'd be terribly boring And so we have both of those sides, both of those ways of being that we have to take care of.

[20:53]

And Zazen prepares us and centers us and all the rest of it for our regular existence. And our regular existence, you know, I'm full of lists this morning, I'm surprised at how many of these lists are popping up in my head this morning. You know, the three marks of existence which are suffering, impermanence and and no self. You know, everything changes constantly. We're always changing, always changing. And as long as we know that, and as long as we know that we have no fixed self, the self itself is changing constantly, always changing. We're always changing. We're never the same person. You know, what I left on that bed in the hospital, was not the father I can remember at various points in my life, you know. And the person that walked in that room yesterday afternoon and the person that walked out were different people.

[21:59]

And the person that's up here is different. And it will continue like that, and it continues like that for all of us. And that's the beauty of our lives, is that constant change, that constant impermanence. And when we recognize that beauty, That's when suffering ends. Because we're always trying to hang on to things. And there's no need to. And you can't do it anyhow. We're either trying to hang on or we're trying to push it away, you know? It's either grasping or aversion, one of the two. And as Mel said so many times, it's a thing that's really, it's really made an impression on me. I kind of try and live my life by it. It's difficult. But anyway, she said, don't want to be anywhere else. Just be here. Don't, don't want to be somewhere else. That helps you with session certainly, because when your knees hurt, you just don't want to be anywhere else. And then your knees don't hurt quite so much, or maybe they hurt just as much, but you can take it a little better.

[23:06]

And that's, that's the whole secret of it. And I think that, that, you know, the basic the basic thing I'm trying to get across basic thing I believe the thing that's popped up for me more and more and more is that we have to respect each other we have to be decent to each other and if we are then everything's okay even when it's really not feeling that way if we remember that if we can remember that, you know, that other person too is a swan even though he may look like a pretty mean one right now still a swan and so are we and so all of these things are not they're not some sort of idealistic every day and every way I'm getting better and better that's not what we're talking about we're talking about the basic way we live our lives and the basic way we really are

[24:14]

where we really are. And I think when we believe that, when we see that, when we really see that, then we get that fearlessness they talk about in the Bodhisattva. And that fearlessness is not some sort of daring do, you know, not being afraid to go up in an airplane because it's going to crash or something. But it's a different kind of fearlessness. It's the kind of fearlessness that allows you just to be in a situation. And to take care of it the best way you know how. Always keeping in mind, you know, something like the Four Brahma Viharas. Loving kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity. It's just what Blanche said the other day, everybody that sits up here always says the same things. We always say the same things, we just say them a little differently at times, I guess.

[25:15]

It's very early still But I really don't have anything else to say on this subject And it's been a long night for me. I have to admit that too. I'll plead that maybe that will mitigate the fact that I Force you out for tea and cookies early Anyone have anything to say? Ma'am? Well, our altar is getting crowded. Yeah. And I appreciate what the double theme of your talk of death and the drama of the hearts. One of those cards is for a friend, a 20-year-old friend of mine who died. And she had died 10 days before I knew because I'd been away. And it was the first time for me that somebody my age died whom I loved very much.

[26:51]

And it certainly brought up kindness. At first I was just, it was one of those windy days and the leaves were blowing in the air and that's just the way I felt. Just entirely unsettled. And then I just began to look for her everywhere. Not literally, but there was some comfort in realizing that her presence was around and I could just go through each day feeling that presence and uncovering that presence. And that's what I've been doing. And it leads right into your story about swans, because what one uncovers after someone has died and the confusion is gone, at least you have the opportunity of letting their presence settle.

[28:10]

It certainly happened for me when my father died. And after a while, all the mud, the difficulties, fusions in the relationship kind of settle down to the bottom. And then what you have is swamp to swamp. Thank you.

[28:34]

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