and to accept the reality of impermanence and no separate self. And in doing so, at any moment, can we transform the samsara in that moment to nirvana? During aspects we hope to explore and penetrate the guidelines given to us by Ehe Dogen, the Buddha, various other ancestors, and our own contemporary teachers. Our topic for aspects is guidelines for studying the way. In Japanese, it's called Gakkado Yoshinshu. Gakko means to study, to learn, or to pursue. means the truth. Yojin means warning, pointer, or pieces of advice.

[01:05]

And Shu means collection. Therefore, Gakado Yoshinshu literally means a collection of pointers for pursuing the way. During the next six weeks, we'll be sharing in separate pointers, separate tips. separate bits of wisdom to help us in study the way and to awaken. Yes. Can you point your camera just getting a cut off vision of your head? Oh, there. Is that better? Thank you. Oh, yeah, that's great. Well, none of my friendly facial expressions were apparent then. Just imagine that you saw... a friendly face and an open face. I wanted to give a little bit of history to put this in context. Our Soto Zen founder in Japan, Ehe Dogen, returned to Japan after five years in China in 2028.

[02:15]

During the first couple of years in the Keninji Monastery where he practiced in the Tendai tradition with his teacher, Miozen prior to coming to China. But in 1233, he founded his own monastery, Kishoji, in Fukakusa near Kyoto. Shinshu was written in the following year, 1234. Dogenzenji's Dharma successor, Kohonenjo, joined his sangha at this time. So it is believed that he wrote the Gakudo, was first written for his students when he developed a population of monks to study with him at Khashoggi. And these were literally guidelines, the monks in the monastery.

[03:22]

Also, it's been said that this was not written as one continuous piece, that the pieces were assembled and compiled separately from talks that Dogen had given. And then together in a thoughtful sequence to be able to more coherently and present this kind of teaching. So the main emphasis of this study is to seeing impermanence and arousing Bodhi mind or Bodhicitta. Seeing impermanence is the foundation of Dogen's teaching. And as he said in the Zui Monkey fascicle in Shobogenso, impermanence is reality we encounter every day. right before our eyes. No one can deny it.

[04:27]

When we think of our life, we cannot neglect it. Seeing impermanence is the starting point of our journey in seeking the way. Shohaku Okumora says, because truly recognizing that it's essential, to realizing a permanence is the recognition of no self or letting go of clinging to our ego. Facing impermanence brings about the existential crisis focus that wakes us up. Human beings cannot live without ego. We have ego. We need to have ego to get through our daily life, our small ego. Yet ego is the main cause of preventing us from seeing things as they are or how it is. As long as our lives are based solely on our ego, they become narrow.

[05:29]

This word solely, I was looking at Sojin's notes, and he underlined solely. We have to base our lives somewhat on our healthy psychological ego. But we can't base our lives solely on our ego, he says. They become narrow. Big ego makes it difficult to live in harmony with others. So how can we deal with it? So I'm going to go through this study and use some references. Sent out three different translations and I'm going to use some some of those different ways of looking at things and also try to bring it home and real.

[06:36]

So looking at the first exhortation translation of the Gagudo, you should, Sojin says need to instead of should, you should arouse the thought of enlightenment. Sojin notes that there are many Names for this, but they all point to one and the same mind. So sometimes this is called the mind of enlightenment. Sometimes this is called Bodhi Shin or awakened heart mind. Sometimes it's called Do Shin, truth heart mind or way mind. Some people refer to it as aspiration for Buddhahood or awakening. Bodhicitta, one of our favorites, awakening mind or awakened mind. And Sojin Roshi just called this way-seeking mind.

[07:38]

Same thing. So way-seeking mind, thought of enlightenment, aspiration to awaken. This is what this first section of the Gakudo is all about. The second line offers some different translations of the teaching of Nagarjuna, our 14th century ancestor from the second and third century from his fundamental work on the middle way, which is the basis for our Mahayana school, provides much of the basis. So there are various ways that he talks about this. Ka says, Nagarjuna says, the mind that fully sees the world of birth and death is called the mind of enlightenment.

[08:44]

Okamura says, arousing Bodhi mind, the mind that solely, there's that phrase again, solely sees the impermanent of this world, the constant appearance and disappearance. Mind. Nishijima, a more contemporary translator, says, establish the will to the truth, a mind that reflects only upon the inconstancy of the secular world as it appears. This may also be called the will to truth. So all of these are are stressing for us. Moment to moment, every moment, teaching is there. Every moment. Whether it's transgency around us, transgency in our bodies. It's not something we should have to work to do.

[09:47]

All we have to do is be there, be fully present. Thus, if we maintain this mind, again, Sojan underlines the word maintain. If we maintain this mind, the mind that solely sees impermanence, this mind can become the thought of enlightenment. And when you understand which could also be called impermanence or transiency, the notion of self does not come into being. Ideas of fame and name and fame do not arise. So there seems to be a sequence here, a recommendation.

[10:50]

The sequence is be focusing the mind on seeing impermanence, then maintaining the mind. I'm solely on the big mind that sees the ultimate reality of impermanence and dependent co-arising. And remind ourselves, remind ourselves, have some post-it on your computer screen. Wake up right now. That's mine. I need that a lot. Pay attention. Pay attention. And we can't just do this. And this teaching says, you know, this is not a passive thing, right? This is not some unfeeling, tedious experience. We're urged to not waste time, to have some urgency. We're missing it. We're missing our opportunity to be free.

[11:54]

We're missing opportunities to be awake if we're not there and we're not paying attention. And we should do it with a sense of urgency, like our hair is on fire. There's one line that says, practice with the zeal of the Buddha of old standing on tiptoe for seven days. I guess that's a little harder than sitting under the Bodhi tree. I don't know how many Buddhas of old did that, but... But in mythology, a bodha did that. I'm going to stay here till I wake up. I don't care. I'm going to and I'm going to go to Sashin and I'm going to do the whole Sashin. Maybe I'm going to do seven days of Sashin. Maybe I'm going to do it and do it till I wake up. So that kind of sense of purpose. And commitment. The other tip. These pointers, right? Pointers to awakening.

[12:55]

That's what this is all about. We're cautioned. He cautions us that we should not be distracted by beautiful birds, music, beautiful faces, sexual desire. It sounds like Mara. We should not allow Mara to come as she did when Buddha was sitting and tempt us with being distracted by sensory experiences. He says, just let the sensory experience aroused by those phenomenon wash over us without failing, falling into desire or attachment. So we can happily listen, invited to happily listen, to happily feel, to happily taste, but not get hooked on it. Early in the sashim, ice cream really was great. I found that every night I have just, what's going to happen today?

[14:04]

This impermanence, I can't deal with this impermanence. There was a permanence of ice cream. In the evening, I sit down and I'd savor a Haagen-Dazs coffee, chocolate. Doesn't that sound great? And I actually did get attached to it. And I noticed that and I thought, okay, it's okay to have an ice cream bar, but not okay to have to have an ice cream bar. Well, okay, I can see with that. And once I had that thought, I still had ice cream bars, but not always. And I wasn't looking forward to them all evening so I could get through the evening. We can have these sensations. We can listen to music. We can taste something.

[15:05]

We can have a pleasant experience. But don't get pulled away from paying attention. Don't let it distract you because it's really important for us, even in times of stress and strain, to be present. So there's a whole section that follows in this in which doing does what I always am amused to read. He always has to ask dispersions on other people's other ways that people practice. And he has to outline them here. He has to outline them. We're not to we're not to follow these others. And he says. He says, Buddhist students of old schools of Buddhism fall short on these instructions to wake up and pay attention to impermanence and fall into the pit of fame and profit.

[16:15]

Wouldn't want to be falling into the pit of fame and profit. And he opines, what a pity. How regrettable. Those guys just don't get it. That's my thing. That's my part. Those guys just don't get it. And then he goes on about the guys who don't get it, which is interesting. So he says some of these people who study the scripture, enlightenment is the mind of the supreme, perfect enlightenment, ultimate awakening. And just by... by aspiring to something called the supreme. They want to get to the supreme ultimate. He says, do not be concerned with fame and profit. Okamura says, this statement is not wrong, but Dogen criticized those who use it as an excuse for having a desire for fame and gain.

[17:19]

In the Akamura translation, he says, we hear of those who had heard of the teaching, seen a little of the sutra. Most have fallen into the pit of fame and profit and have lost the life of the Buddha way forever. Some of them, he says, a lot of enlightenment is the insight that each thought contains 3000, which is 3000 realms. which is the essential teaching of the Tendai school that he was part of for most of his early practice. He says, spend their time studying these. Dogen's asserting that this is not the way to cultivate Bodhi mind. In Zen, we do talk about the six realms of existence. We study them sometimes. The three lower realms, hell, hungry ghosts. and animals, three upper realms of human, heavenly realm where the divas reside, and the Asura realm where the semi-gods arise.

[18:28]

But the way we practice with them in Zen, in our Zen practice, is that these are kind of archetypes or mood states or arising beings in our mind. We don't study them. in terms of memorizing the 3000 names of all the other possible mental realms. But we do pay attention to them. So he's saying it's fine, we pay attention to them. Lost in some esoteric study of trying to study these 3000 realms, that's not where the meat is. Then he says, some of them say the thought of enlightenment is the Dharma gate. Each thought is unborn. This is the teaching of another school, the Kagan school, which has a deeply philosophical base, which spends a lot of time studying the most difficult sutras and that not really relating this to life, but more approach to studying the way.

[19:44]

Some of them say the thought of enlightenment is the mind of entering the Buddha realm. That's another school, the Shingon school, criticizing scholars who study sutras and write lofty treatises but didn't practice their speech. Their speech is eloquent, but their deeds run against the spirit of the bodhisattva. I just had the memory that when I took a class at Berkeley on early Chinese Buddhism, we would have discussions in the class. We were reading serious texts. And I would always say, but when we practice, so I would say, but this doesn't sound like... And the teacher looked at me and then said to the other students, don't listen to her.

[20:47]

She's a practitioner. So in the academic framework, they weren't interested in hearing from someone who actually practices every day and embodies the teaching and looks to embody the teaching. They were using their heads. It's interesting hearing Sojin Roshi talk about this. In his chapter on be kind to yourself and not always so, he said, we teach that enlightenment and practice are one, but my first practice was what we call stepladder zen. I understand this much now. The next year I will understand a bit more. So he's saying, There's some gaining idea about attaining some higher state by studying more, getting more sutras under your belt, getting more serious study, getting more difficult practices, adding more and more with a gaining, not instinctively or intuitively practicing.

[22:06]

but with an eye towards something else. Suzuki Roshi says, that kind of practice doesn't make much sense. I could never be satisfied. If you try practice, maybe you'll realize a mistake. And then he says, but that's okay. Because when you make the mistake of gain and thinking, gee, I'm really cool. I read that I can really explain that to somebody or I can give a great talk on it. When you do that, you notice if you're paying attention and then you say, oh, whoa, I'm supposed to be helping others awake. I'm not supposed to be saying, look at me, look at me. Sojin, I remember talking to Sojin sometimes about some very students that came to BCC and they were, always doing very exaggerated forms.

[23:13]

So they have their arms up like this and they bow in this very exaggerated into Tassajara or they'd been to some other monastery and they were gonna come and they were gonna show they could really do the forms. They really knew what they were saying. And Sojin, I mentioned that to Sojin once and he said, well, that's just macho Zen. He said a lot of guys, young people who go to Tassahara get all excited about being a monk and want to be kind of, and look at the Japanese model. And they kind of adopt the Japanese model. And then they want to show that they've adopted it. So instead of wanting to show the forms, for example, like we do in the temple, when we're next to somebody who, Maybe it's new and they don't know the forms. Right. You don't want to show them how great you do the forms. You want to show you want to do it with them slowly.

[24:14]

Pay attention to what they can do. Pay attention to what they're doing and try. Make them feel comfortable while they set out their bowl and their sets and how they learn how to hold their bowls and eat. Or if you if you do Zazen instruction. You don't demonstrate in a very overt show-offing way. You just do it very carefully. You know, just again, gently making sure you tell people, some people can do it this way. Some people can't do it that way. Here's another way. We want you to be able to wake up with us. We want you to be able to feel comfortable. We want to be able to give you the compassion and notice you showing off. We don't want to be wanting to gain some kind of special status in their minds and showing the new people how cool we are. I remember talking to having a conversation when I used to facilitate the 20.

[25:19]

We were talking about no gain and no fame and humility. And one young woman confessed that, you know, she just thought practice was so cool. And she wanted to impress her friends. And then she was always telling her friends about what she'd done at the Zen Center. That's not right. Maybe that's not. Maybe, oh, I see. So there's a temptation, especially for us to get very excited. Cited that is, what is our goal here? Our goal here is to help people awaken. The focus is we're with them. We're with them. And when we notice them and we're with them, we see the oneness and whatever we do then is more skillful.

[26:28]

rather than the focus on being our practice. And that's really what Dogen and Suzuki Roshi said, concentrate on your practice. And that means sitting, watching, feeling, awareness, noticing as much as you can. Obviously, it's always as much as we can, as much as our Our capacity. Some people can't sit that long. Some people can sit a shorter time. But we dedicate ourselves to that practice. And in doing that, we're giving ourselves away to the practice, not gaining anything. This section of criticizing everybody, Dogen goes back and reiterates the core message. The enlightened mind is the mind that sees into impermanence and is not confused by all these ideas and academic musings by confused people.

[27:37]

To do to broaden your knowledge, but do it only after arousing the thought of enlightenment. This should be, and then again, Sojin underlined in the book. that I had noticed notations. This should not be mistaken. I also remember here when I, and I think I shared this at one of the all-Sanga meetings, that when I was practicing, especially in the first five years, I was very excited. I just loved it. And I thought, well, if I love it at Green College, I'll love it at City Center. City Center, maybe I'll go internationally someplace. And if I love it there, maybe I'll, you know, go do some other related esoteric practice. So I ran around. It's like what he described as the bird tweeting over here, you know, and the pretty face over there. Like they would help me in my practice and they would be part of my practice.

[28:46]

And it was so great. And then Sojin gave me one of his looky here talks. and said, Jerry, you've been running around a lot. All those fun things you've been doing are great. It's great to go to here or there and study Hindu healing and do all these things. He said, but what you need to do is sit right down here. Then after you really get it, Then you can go back and have all those wonderful experiences. And that was actually a profound turning moment for me. It was like, no, don't go to Green Gulch on Monday and San Francisco Zen Center. Stay at Berkeley Zen Center. Just come to Berkeley Zen Center. Meditate every morning or as much as you can.

[29:47]

That's your practice. So then Dogen addresses that issue. Why? Why? We ask ourselves, each one of us asks ourselves, why? Why? Just why? Dogen tells us, try to reflect on the mind concerned only with your own gain. Does this one thought blend with the nature and attributes? of the 3000 realms. Does this one thought realize the Dharma gate of being unborn? There is only the diluted thought of greed for fame and love and gain. There is nothing which could be taken as the thought. So he urges us to just forget yourself for now and practice inwardly.

[30:52]

It reminds me of the Jumira Samadhi. Practice like a fool, like an idiot. Inwardly, like a fool, like an idiot. So when the notion of self arises, sit quietly and contemplate it. Can you find any evidence of a fixed self in your body? Psychological processes or psychological processes? Is there some evidence of a fixed self in your breath or your mind? Okamura says, contemplate the mind that is constantly changing, not the impermanence of the mind in the world. Of course, this includes the mind itself, but the mind which sees of all phenomena is what we're looking for. So how does this thought of awakening, this bodhicitta arise?

[31:57]

I always like to go back to Shantideva, an 8th century Indian Buddhist monk, because of the inspiration that I get from him. He writes in verse, And he talks about the benefits of the spirit of awakening and how do you and adopting the spirit of awakening. So I thought just as a change of. I read a few of the verses from Shantideva, because to me, they're just beautiful and they're always inspirational. So in terms of the benefits of spiritual awakening, he says. just as lightning illuminates the darkness of a cloud for an instant. In the same way, by the power of the Buddha, occasionally people's minds are momentarily inclined toward merit.

[33:13]

Then he says, those who long to overcome the abundant miseries of the mundane existence, those who all the adversities of sentient beings, And those who yearn to experience a myriad of joys should forsake the spirit of awakening. When the spirit of awakening has arisen in an instant, a wretch who is bound in the prison of the cycle of existence is called the child of the Sugurus and becomes worthy of reverence in the worlds of gods and humans. This takes us kind of out of our, totally out of our mundane and into some other realm. But it really can, to me, it kind of gets me out, really out of my conventional ways of talking and being and looking at just going into these verses. From the time that one adopts the spirit with an irreversible attitude for the sake of liberating limitlessness,

[34:19]

From that moment on, an interrupted stream of merit equal to the sky constantly arises, even when one is asleep or distracted. A well-intentioned person who thinks, I shall eliminate the headaches of sentient beings. Meaning he should dedicate himself to save all beings. The headaches of sentient beings. I had a lot of headaches during them. pandemic too, bears immeasurable merit. What then of the person who desires to remove the incomparable pain of every single being and endow them with the qualities? Those are the benefits of bodhicitta. And then he says, with folded hands, fully awakened ones in all directions, that they may kindle the light of the Dharma for those who fall into suffering, owing to confusion.

[35:29]

May the virtue that I've acquired by doing all this relieve every suffering of sentient beings. May I be the medicine and the physician for the sick. First until their illness never occurs. With showers of food and drink, may I overcome the afflictions of hunger and thirst. May I become the food and drink during times of famine. Surrendering everything is nirvana, and my mind seeks nirvana. If I must surrender, it is better that I give it to sentient beings. So this is the kind of aspiration that we seek. this aspiration to be free. This is the aspiration of arousing the thought of enlightenment, arousing bodhicitta. I started, I just thought I'm very close to the end of my time.

[36:39]

So I just thought, A few of my own experiences when I first started practicing that felt like this more poetic and just inspirational, the outside of self. I remember when I first walked into Green Gulch, the temple in Green Gulch, at a time in my life was when I was a lot of transition and great pain. And I was immediately taken by the feel of the zendo, by the presence of all of these people sitting quietly, It was a ritual with robed priests carrying around a censer, burning incense.

[37:50]

It was chanting. It was a beautiful altar with the four elements, fire, earth, water, and air. Everyone was bowing together. I felt taken into this big mind state of the universal. The ritual transformed my day. Gee, I'm gonna see how cool Green Gulch is, to wow, wow. This is really, there's really something here. When I'm here, I'm joining this, I'm joining this line of ancestor, And joining in this ritual, being done, having been done, being done, will be done forever. It was very powerful. So it was the hook.

[38:54]

Because, of course, after that, it was like that. It was it was it was hard. It was hard doing. and practice periods there. But that same feeling that there, I also found then in other Zen places, that feeling of oneness, of togetherness, of supporting each other, of recognizing that it's not just me in this endo. It's me. It's all of the other people. It's our ancestors. One time I was, on one of my trips, on one of my explorations in Scotland, I was sitting on a hill that was supposed to be a chakra point.

[39:57]

So I decided to do zazen. I decided to do zazen and all these seven chakra points on the island. I sat there. And all of a sudden, I saw BZC. BZC arose. I could see Sojin. I remember seeing Gary Artem. Saw some other people I knew. And I looked at my watch. And I saw that it was Zazen time at Berkley's and Center. And I had this kind of experience of this. This, again, joining our other people in this practice and that this Sazen practice was extremely powerful and was something that I really needed to focus on. So that was kind of the inspiration to settle down. When I talked to Sojan about this synchronicity, how could that be that I chose to sit down?

[41:04]

at the moment the VCC was sitting. And he said, synchronicity happens all the time. We just don't know it. There was no accident that you sat at that time. Those are just those kind of high experiences that we sometimes have that people talk about when they're out in the woods where they feel one with their environment. They're kind of the, The thing that when we experience them, they give us some, but they aren't this practice, right? And so what I had to learn was those were not attached to the great experiences I had. Not attached to them. I had them fine. It was great while it lasted. It's like the ice cream. It was great while it lasted, but I had to get down to the hard worker practice, to the aches, to the mind states, to experience physical, mental, whatever arose.

[42:18]

So I could renew and remember, remember that I'm there. I'm sitting there. with my sangha and I'm sitting there with all beings and with all our ancestors at any time. And there's always that inspiration. Leading that bodhicitta, that desire to awaken with those beings. So party words from Suzuki Roshi. He states over and over again throughout his teaching, awakening. intricate, complicated effort. Nor is it a one-time magical lightning bolt. As he says, and not always so, wherever you are, enlightenment is there. You just have to be present, patient, consistent in your practice to experience what's really there. What's really there is everything.

[43:23]

So I hope you will be enjoying the practice period. as we together sit and pay attention moment to moment and awaken to everything. Thank you. Okay, we now have some time for some Q&A. Please raise your digital hand in the reactions box or send a message to me in the chat box. We'll wait a few moments for people to gather their... Linda Hess, go ahead and unmute yourself and ask your question.

[44:26]

Hi, good morning. I have two questions. I'll start with one and see if you let me ask the second one as well. So at one point you said, is there evidence of a permanent self or a lasting self in this kind of practice? And so I was just wondering if I have repetitive thoughts and I noticed the repetitive thoughts and repetitive behaviors. of my life. Is that evidence of a lasting self? No. Because they're not there all the time, right? They come and go. They're evidence of some conditioning, circumstances, and probably they arise again when your experiences are triggered. And then you fall into those states.

[45:30]

We all have that repetitive thing. It feels like it's us, right? Here I go. Here I go again. Here I go again into my afflictive mental states. But they go away. Yeah. So actually, they aren't permanent. Okay, thank you for clearing that up for me. Really, I mean, in a way. I really am glad if I did that. Well. I asked the question because of the along with the repetitive thoughts and behaviors is the kind of unspoken conviction that this is me. This is me. This is me. So that's why I brought the question for you. Let me ask my second question. Yeah. So you said that you. The joy of eating the ice cream didn't last. And you had to you had to do the hard work of practice. So that raised the question in my mind that have you ever have you ever found yourself doing the hard work of scream?

[46:41]

Actually, that's a real question. Maybe it sounds a little mischievous, but it is. It's fun. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think I it doesn't mean that I can't totally enjoy. It just means that my dependence on the ice cream bar, my my putting the ice cream bar is something that I have to have in a certain way. You know, it becomes ice cream bar addiction. And also if I notice and I notice this about kind of try to grasp onto a moment, an experience that was great, you know, and you go back to the place where you went. You know, go back to the restaurant. It's going to be just as good. Go back to the place in the woods where you had this wonderful experience. It's not the same experience. I always eat, you know, so that every time you have an ice cream bar, it's probably different.

[47:44]

Yeah. So once you once you get that. Yes. Then eating an ice cream bar is sitting. Not a problem. Same thing as sitting, right? Yeah. Yay. All right. I'm done. You're always a pleasure when you ask your questions. Always? Maybe that's my permanent self. Oh, well, for me. For me. I'm just as my individual self. Just kidding. Maybe not for everyone. Okay. Thank you. Heather Serantis, would you like to unmute yourself and ask a question? Yes. Good morning, Jerry. I wonder if you could pull me out to the point of what we're embarking on. And specifically, I don't think I understand the distinction between a practice period and aspects of practice.

[48:52]

And is there something about aspects of practice that you wish for each the community overall as we embark on this six weeks or so together? Well, on some level, there isn't a difference. In some level, there is an aspiration that by being together in a more intensive way and studying together and experiencing together more frequently, that It brings us more support, more energy. It generates energy for practice. So people who never had the experience of reading some of these texts or never had the experience of sitting as often or, you know, or never had, you know, they are exposed to all these aspects, if you will.

[49:59]

So it's a full boat with everything. And in fact, we've had to leave out a few things, you know, Bansanti or, you know, some other things that we've done before or a five-day sushine. But we're exploring all of the various ways that we can practice. And we're also exploring a more systematic way of looking at texts. Because if you just hear a lecture here about this and a lecture there about this, but we include classes, but we also include talks, subjects, and we also include way-seeking mind talks about people's experiences of the teaching. So there's a depth that we don't get. And this whole picture of guidelines for studying the way, we're all in this big, with this teaching and we're shining a light on different aspects of that teaching and different aspects of teaching and of practicing.

[51:10]

Does that make sense? I often think sometimes when I'm in the Zendo, you know, one body, we're all caught in this arc and the floating on the seas of the world, you know. The waves come and the waves go, but we do it together. And when we come together like this in a formal way and we make a commitment to do that, then we're on this journey together. We are not alone. And of course, that's the most important part of waking up, right? Yes. Thank you. would you like to unmute yourself and ask a question hi jerry um i don't have a question i just really wanted to thank you for your talk i got a lot out of it i feel like a lot of seeds were watered and especially because um you mentioned the three different worlds yes esoteric thought

[52:26]

I definitely resonated with that. I tend to spiral there, and now I'm learning to kind of hold my energy and my light. And I appreciate our connection. Someone in the Zendo has a question. Would you please unmute yourself? Hi, Jerry. Hi, Kenpo. I had a question which was, what happens in the moment when aspiration turns into grasping? We lose ourselves. Then we lose ourselves momentarily. So we have to come back. We notice it. I mean, When it happens, we know that the point of this study is to be aware when that happens, be aware of your mind state and look at it.

[53:35]

Thank you. Guillermo, would you like to unmute yourself and ask your question? Yes, thank you. In my, like, I often heard the word mind. And it's always present. Something that it doesn't change. It looks to me like a permanent thing. So can we get rid of the mind? The mind can disappear. It disappears at some point. No. Form. It can transform. We talk about transforming our consciousness. So we're not interested in not thinking. We're interested in non-thinking.

[54:36]

That's one of the famous koans, right? We're not looking for a blank slate. We're looking for noticing the patterns in our mind, the way our mind works. that are causing suffering for ourself and others. The kind of triggers that happen, the kind of storehouse consciousness trigger, waiting for somebody to say something, waiting for something to happen and then bursting out there in all their wonderful ways or horrible ways. That conditioning, the way that the mind, the ego mind, manas, works to say, This is me. Hey, look at me. I'm here. That manos gets transformed not to be the small me, the small ego. It's not about me. So when we encounter the world in this free and open way without our experiences by conditioned thinking and conditioned ways of our thought patterns that get us into trouble all the time, right?

[55:50]

then that's transformation. Then we transform our conscience. That's a, you know, this is like a four volume question you asked. So if you want to, there are things that you can read about transforming the mind, particularly Thich Nhat Hanh, understanding your mind, which talk about our minds and how our minds work and how we can be with those minds and transform those minds. Thank you. Kabir, would you like to unmute yourself and ask your question, please? Yes, good morning. Hi, Jerry. Hi. Thank you. Hi. So I have one question that is sort of related to Linda's question. Sort of like that concrete self that we think we are, and you explained that it's not permanent. But how can we sort of like get out of that funk?

[56:51]

And also, you mentioned something about the ego, which I sort of agree because there's a healthy ego that's harmful. But between the two, there's this sort of like a gray area that we're not sure that if we're being egoistic or being harmful or being helpful, because sometimes certain things that the ego does, it does sort of sounds helpful or does, but it turned out not. So how do we not go there? Or how do we just see what I mean? So those are the. Well, I mean, it's really about sometimes it's about noticing in your body what's going on. Noticing where you feel things. How does it feel when you're trying to gain something? You're really trying to gain something. There's some place in your body that's that's going to give you a clue. Right. And when you're just giving generously and you're compassionate. For me, there's an openness.

[57:54]

You know, there's a relaxation. If you can just act in the moment from some intuitive place that you start. And I asked, I remember asking Sojin one time, well, what about this? You're always talking about intuition. You know, does that mean that someday if I practice enough, I'll just know the right thing to do all the time? And he said, that he said no. He said, you look at what's going on. You feel what's going on. You assess the situation. You do the most skillful thing you can do at the time. And then you see. So you, and then after a while, you get to get a feeling. In your body, it's really almost a body-mind experience of no separation.

[58:58]

There's a... I need to respond. There's somebody expressing something to me. I want to respond with the intention of helping them wake up. at the intention what what is my intention here and if you have an encounter and then later on you realize we didn't do so well it's like how did that go wrong you know was that me was that the other person was that both people you know there's usually not sometimes there's a clear right and wrong but mostly there's two people doing their best and who who get into it but So it's really that way. It's very intuitive. There's no for me to say this is how or what. It's also for you to recognize are there some ways sometimes when you know you fall into an egocentric pattern, some trigger you can do to yourself to stop.

[60:08]

That was my third question. How to... So I guess in mindfulness or just what I find is anytime that I'm away from the Sangha a little longer than I need to be, the old patterns start to come stronger. You know, so I think we need the Sangha all the time. So, yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. I'm going to just give you something that came to me in the chat. A big thank you to Jerry for her talk. Sitting this morning a bit outside of the continual self-criticism, worry, and notice that as a habit, which I mistakenly understand is me or myself. Big suffering from that.

[61:12]

Ah, self-judging. We judge ourselves, judge ourselves in that critical way. It usually means there's something to take care of. Something I'm not paying attention to in my life, in my practice. I have to remind myself that I, I'm Buddha. I am Buddha. I be with the mind of Buddha. I can be kind to myself. I think one of the most important things that we need to do, and I've been, you know, we've been studying the format, Buddhist, Bodhisattva's four methods of guidance on Wednesday nights.

[62:18]

And, you know, We talk about giving. We talk about, and it came up in here. It came up in this text today. We have to give to ourselves. We have to take care of that person who's judging and the person who's being judged. It takes for that. So sometimes that's a certain kind of practice that we need to do. But we need to be curious about it. Not believe it. Not believe it. You're not, you know, sometimes we're our worst critics. You know, not to believe what our mind is saying, but to look into it and to be curious and to find out where did it come from. And to be with the question, where did that come from? And then to practice giving to ourselves and being patient.

[63:19]

patience always. Because with a dedicated practice, you will wake up. Look what Shanti Davis said. All these wonderful things. If you just stop and be in the moment. So be kind to yourself. Take care. And I believe this will be the last question. Nathan Britton, if you would like to unmute yourself and ask your question. My question has to do with the time. I can't refer to it. I don't have it in front of you. This is from memory. But if I remember correctly, it said that we arise Bodhi mind by beginning with impermanence. And I guess my question has to do with how of impermanence.

[64:21]

I frequently will undertake thought experiments. like thinking in geologic time or imagining the cells and the oxygen that are making up my body and which my body on a molecular level is constantly changing and transforming. But I don't think that that's necessarily the point. Those seem like intellectual exercises. And I'm asking... What a pity, he said. What a pity. Is there a way that we might experience or invoke that impermanence that isn't an intellectual exercise? That's really the essence of Zasana practice. Because when we sit and

[65:24]

Start our breathing. And sometimes we do a sojourn would always recommend doing zazen instruction, noticing your body, noticing the different parts of your body. What's your posture? And breathing your breath as it comes and goes. Even that is being within permanence. Even noticing your body is being within permanence because it's never going to be the same. We say don't move. And as Sojan said, everybody moves. You know, we have an ache here. We have an ache there. I just feel comfortable yesterday, and now it's horrible. Gee, I wonder if I should get up. You know, all these things, we feel aware moment to moment. You know, if you start just being aware of what's going on and not in your head, but in a bigger, in your small mind, but in a field where everything's going on, I mean, if I sometimes it's really hard because we have a lot of construction going on in our neighborhood.

[66:29]

So there's always trucks coming and going and hammering starting and stopping. And, you know, and I can get upset about the hammering. Right. And all those people, why did they start so early? And then I just after a while, so hammering. Oh, hammering. Oh, trucks. Oh, light. Oh, dark. Oh, cold. Oh, hot. Oh, pain. Oh, comfort. That's noticing. That's noticing impermanence. You don't have to be anywhere special. You can do it anywhere. You can go sit and look at a body of water and you're studying impermanence. Just being with the ocean. Being. Being with it. That's impermanence. with a capital I. There's no way to not be an impermanence.

[67:31]

It's recognizing that we are.

[67:35]

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