I'd like to introduce Philip Whelan, who is now the abbot of the Hartford Street Zen Do, a long-time student of Suzuki Roshi's. No, no, no. I've met him twice. Only twice? Philip, it seemed like you were around there an awful lot. In spirit, if not in actuality, but a long-time friend of I think Berkeley's endowed in ways. I'm anxious to hear what he has to say, so I won't say it more. Thank you very much. I haven't been here for a good many years, and this building hadn't yet happened. I can't remember what year it was.

[01:26]

But I have to say you've already heard it eight or nine times before, and so I can't really tell you anything you don't know. I just find it interesting to consider what we are trying to do with Zen Buddhism, we all have so many ideas about its use and meaning and so forth, that I think sometimes we don't even see what it is, namely that it is practice, but we don't see that. Instead, we see, first of all, for many of us it's a substitute for whatever religion we may have been brought up in a muriya, which seems to have lost its power or pleasure or whatever for us at this time.

[02:34]

And so, instead of, when we consider trying out Islam or Catholicism or Shinto or Confucianism or something else, end up deciding, well, there is this Zen business that everybody writes books about and poems about and so on, a great many of them, and so what is it? And so, armed with all this literature, people eventually come to a place like this and are instantly disappointed. But I thought, gee, it makes my legs hurt. And other people say, well, I want to be better.

[03:40]

I am not so good. I'm running around in my automobile burning up irreplaceable fossil fuels. angry much of the time and I don't get along well with some people and other people I get along too well with and get embarrassingly involved with and so on. And so maybe I can change all that if I get into this Zen. And regard it as a kind of psychological improvement how to get next to yourself or something like that. How to figure out what you're doing. And anyway, using it for that purpose. And then other people say, oh, it's also beautiful in Japanese. I love all that incense. I love all those flowers. or the Sand Mountain Center at Mount Tremper, Upstate New York, many other places all around, which is lovely, lovely, and Japanese to look at.

[05:12]

And so, people start to tune in on those vibes and trip out and have a great time. But in the end, somehow, interest pauses or passes and so on, a little too plain. And first thing you know, they decide, well, I'm going to go with George to the The Zen art business is all black and white, and it doesn't do anything, but boy, this stuff gets up and marches around. It's wondrous, and we can do these wonderful, magical, ceremonial operations that are going to translate us into some other shape or form, whatever we can be truly.

[06:19]

So you end up doing different things, which is fine. Other people decide to give up on Buddhism entirely and go back to their roots and become proper Episcopalians or something, which is also fine. If you go at it right, you really like it and do it. But we seldom can agree or get settled in with the idea that, for us anyway, the practice of Buddhism is the practice of Zazen. Endless Zazen. some of whom we can get along with and some of whom we cannot get along with, but we try anyway and so forth.

[07:30]

We have the funny community of lunatic practitioners who can't seem to make anything happen much, but they all try on various levels. But because each person wants something different out of these going to tend to disrupt the scene. So at some point everybody has to get used to the idea of just sitting and not worrying too much about what it's going to do in the way of improving your character or straightening out your psychology or A lot can happen, however, if you keep on working at it, you get older and tireder.

[08:42]

For example, I am sitting here on this chair because the other day I fell down some stairs and wrecked my leg and raised a lump on my head like in the funny paper that huge A showed, and I was very It's been almost three weeks to sort of get myself back in gear. And my leg is still bent. But anyway, I have to take care of the Zendo and be there. And whether it's in some shape or other, whether I'm sitting on a chair or floating on a cloud or whatever, I have to be there. And that's my job. And I like it. And it's very simple to me to get up in the morning and go and examine. For many people that is an endless problem somehow.

[09:44]

The idea of getting up in the morning is so scary or so unusual or so something that many, many people can't do it. And a lot of people try and make themselves very miserable trying to do it and eventually they learn how or not. I remember one time when I was living in Kyoto, a friend of mine who had become a teacher came by to see me and asked me how I was. I said, I'm just fine. He says, well, what are you doing? I said, well, I get up in the morning and sit. At that time, I didn't belong to any organization. I was just living in a small place in Kyoto. We'd get up in the morning and sit. And he said, well, you know, not everybody can do that. Well, I wonder, well, what's that? Is that a slam or a compliment? What's that about? Not everybody can do that. And the thing is that I think everybody can.

[10:46]

I think it's available to everybody. And we should try to make it available to everyone, see if they can. If they can't, then that's OK. I don't think we can push this kind of activity onto people. They have to find in their own makeup, in their own cells or whatever, a necessity, a feeling of necessity for doing the practice at whatever time, day or night or whatever the thing is. You feel that the practice is there to be done and you have do it. It doesn't matter whether other people are doing it or not. You have to do it. And so you do. And it's very simple. It's like going on a diet. If you wouldn't believe it now, look at me. But then there was a time when I had to go on a very stringent weight reduction diet.

[11:51]

And I did. And it became quite possible. I actually did it. I lost 50 pounds. And the doctor was horrified and couldn't figure out how I did it. I just followed his directions. Every meal was 1,000 calories and I was in, okay, you just accept the regime and that's it. And if you run over 1,000 for each meal one day, then you have to cut off some of the calories on the next day to balance it out. Or if you pig out one day and eat a whole pile of spaghetti and meatballs and whatnot, maybe the next day it's best not to eat anything. So all that straightens itself out. In any case, strict attention to a rule or to a schedule or whatnot actually does work. It helps. You can actually do something.

[12:53]

It straightens things. It's hard to believe when it's a matter of Well, like at Tassajaro, we had to get up at, what, 4.20 or something like that. I can't remember what hour it was. Some godly hour. And rush off to the Zendo and so on. And be there. But in any case, it's possible. People did it. Some people who couldn't also did it anyway. Quite encouraging. That's one of the big things about sitting with a group is that you with a group of people, you can see that you're not the only one who's having a hard time. You can see other people are sweating, or wiggling, or whatever. And you feel, well, I know how they feel, and I'm going to try not to wiggle. But then pretty soon you go from there. Anyway, we all try to do the best we can.

[13:54]

It's very difficult, I think, to figure out for yourself what it is that fits in the way of religious practice. What suits you? And can you accept the stuff as it is offered? Can you accept the idea of doing zazen, of doing chanting service, of doing some sort of clean-up? some sort of work outside or whatever and having lectures and having festivals and so on. Can you get into that? Can you just have it there and accept it and work with it? Instead of figuring, well, it's not democratic or it's not That part over there gives me the willies.

[15:03]

We always keep trying to monkey with it. We complain to each other, we complain to the teacher who has some sort of answer, and then we say, Yah, but what if? Yah, but what if? Instead of just going along with seeing what the system is and seeing whether it works or not for yourself. tamper with it, mess with it. One of the... Well, well... I was going to say that one of the less salubrious changes in the United States have been the insistence on translating everything, but I'm not going to say that. Because that's strictly a personal prejudice.

[16:05]

For many people, it makes them more comfortable and so on. And that's OK. People ought to feel comfortable and happy or whatever, however they can, considering that they're in the midst of a lot of suffering. So if we can make them feel better to chant the Heart Sutra in English, Whether they understand it or not is another question. They say, I don't understand it. What does that mean? Anyway, I don't understand. And then you say, Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, when practicing, you say, wait a minute, what do you mean, practicing deeply? Well, you know, I'm a wild man, like, you know, profound. The English language is balled up in their head just like everything else. And so we think we understand what the Sutra is all about.

[17:07]

Because we understand the words, we say, all right, no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind. You know what that means, don't we? Tosan said he didn't understand. Tosan says, I have a nose. I have an eye. And the old gink who was teaching him said, kid, in that case, I am not your teacher. Go find yourself another boy to tell you how to do this. I'm not the one. Anyway, we have all these wonderful notions about how it's supposed to be, how it's taught to be. I don't suppose, really, that the language barrier is any worse or better than any other, or what I'm looking at. It appears to be a pin with something at the end of it. Anyway, the thing is that after a while, you get into the feeling that life is fleeting

[18:14]

It doesn't last long and we had better figure out what we're going to do with it and how. And the Buddhist superstition is that it's very difficult to be born as a human being. And having been born as a human being to so on. And that the chances of your being reborn out of this life into some less than attractive shape is very high indeed. So that the idea of getting back to being a human being again is very, very difficult. Better watch your P's and Q's now. And so this lovely notion, especially in the

[19:26]

is very persuasive, people find that they really should get into practicing in order to prevent any further collapse of their state. Ideally, if you become a monk, you are guaranteed a relatively proper rebirth as a human being into a country where they practice Buddhism and to What's happening actually around this is very interesting. How many of you had parents who were interested in Buddhism? At the time I was born, I think that there were a number of ethnic Buddhist groups around. But as far as American practitioners, there had been such people as

[20:29]

awarding the condition of many temples and pieces of art and sculpture and what not that the government wanted to find out about so they could save them. And he was awarded the Imperial Order of the something era, I forget which era, but anyway, it was quite a nice thing. So they went and got him and there he is. No, he's British. He only died the other day. I guess this fella died some years ago. Bigglesworth. You mean Madame Blavatsky's friend? No. No. He was an American. He was from Boston. From a great, elegant Boston family. Paul Carr's, is it? No. Edward Moss? Huh? Edward Moss? except for those guys there hadn't been

[22:40]

But now we have everything going on. We have a chance to get in and get started and continue doing this goofy thing. Finding out whether it works or not. Whether it works for us. I think it doesn't matter who you are or what your previous condition of servitude or anything else was or where you're from, whether you are American or British or Chinese, whatever, you can do Zazen if you put your mind to it. And especially put your body to it. Find out how to sit. Find out what to do if your legs hurt. Find out how to do something without moving. The perfect machine has no moving parts. Think of a microchip, for example.

[24:28]

Nothing moves, and yet it produces all sorts of stuff. And so that's what we do. We are like microchips. We sit very still. A lot of stuff happens. But we don't know what, a lot of the time. A lot of the time we either space out or go to sleep or are troubled by various memories or ideas and so on. The thing we don't know is what's happening. What's happening to the ampullula bush outside while you're sitting? How is it reacting to what's happening here? And it is. It's pretty strange. It's us in the view and it's us in the flowering bushes and herbs outside. It's all the same. It's all working. We don't know that. logically with your head, systems of various kinds, various kinds of psychological explanations and so on.

[25:56]

But what do you feel? Where is your body at? Where are your thumbs while you're sitting? The whole thing has to do with your physical self. It doesn't have to do so much with ideas, transcendental experiences or whatever. It has to do with how are you sitting? What's your posture like? Where are your thumbs? And is it really what you want to do? Is it really necessary to you? If it ain't necessary, You know, sign up at the nearest church or psychological trauma workshop or Bagshaw and the family, what's that awful man's name?

[27:04]

Bagshaw. Yes. And find out why you're disabled. Look, you did this, you made this, and you are continuing to make this which is happening smart enough. And we don't like that. We don't like that too well. So that's another strike against the system or the practice of Buddhism. It doesn't say that you can blame your parents or God or somebody else. You have to sit and say, gee, the reason X happened is because they did Y. Then you say, why did I do Y? And then finally, who is I who did Y?

[28:10]

Who? Who indeed? Who? Moo? So you start blank. I believe that somebody said that Suzuki Roshi claimed that it is not you who is sitting. And that's a hard saying, especially since you've got all the trouble to get here and to sit here and everything and then you find out that it's not you. You don't get any crowns and hearts in heaven for All we got is tired.

[29:12]

Somebody says to one of those fancy Chinese Zen masters, what is the reason for the patriarch coming from the West? And he says, sitting long, growing tired. That's Saudi. I wonder if that's true. So can we say what we're doing? Can we say why we are doing it? I don't think we can. I think we're just doing. And the nearer you get to just doing, I think the better off you are. Just do something. Just do that. In between, what else? Try not to hurt people or other things. Try not to hurt yourself.

[30:14]

There are so many other things that people employ Buddhism for. They want it to go into scholarship, or they want it to go into, a friend of mine went into what do you call it, taking care of the animals and went to jail a number of times because he tried to keep people from cutting up animals in laboratories and so on. And he still does that as far as I know. Nice idea. The animals do need to be taken care of. Whether blowing up somebody's laboratory is the way to do it, I'm not sure. Anyway, Getting the idea of going from Buddhism into some kind of rather violent social action is not interesting to me. I don't very much like the idea.

[31:27]

It's clear, for example, that we have to learn how to live together with other people in the universe. On the other hand, I'm not at all sure that various organizations contrive to promote world peace are doing much good for you. You have to figure out how do you feel? Where are you living? How are you treating the cat? How are you treating the postman? How are you treating your mother? How are you treating each other? very much worried about the universe, which is briefly there and is briefly gone and briefly back again. I am old and cynical. I have seen the world come apart a great many times. The first time was in the depression of the 1930s. The second time was with the Second World War.

[32:35]

And the third time was with the assassination of John Kennedy. Not because Mr. Kennedy was shot, but because he tampered with the coinage. He invented the quarter with the copper. It's very serious. And that was the beginning of a whole new collapse of everything. The Vietnam War came along. The Korean War had gladly been forgotten, of course, although many, many people had been killed. In any case, the Vietnam War came along, and the worst thing, the government started coming unglued at the seams, and we're left now in a state of collapse, a total goodbye world again.

[33:36]

And after you have seen these things happen, a number of times, you start wondering, what is it all about? And what's real? What is really happening? And why am I worried about what is happening? Who am I to worry? I'd better find out, because it's getting later all the time. I'd better figure out what's going on, because I, ultimately, am the person responsible for it, with or without responsible for what's happening. I don't like it. I don't like feeling responsible. It's very awkward. But still, I have to accept that responsibility. And that's a lot of mess. And that has to be, as far as I can see, that has to be taken care of by my practice, by sitting.

[34:38]

And that seems to be too difficult. It seems to be, sitting seems to be an inadequate response to such difficulty and to such complications and so forth. And yet, when you think about how it's going, when you think about how you have got it, Polish things up a little bit. Make a start anyway. Clearing out the debris, dust, and the copper center of the quarters. A friend of mine said he got a silver quarter the other day at the ranch. He said, drop it on the table and take it away. But can you drop yourself on your little cushion and go tingle like this and this and this?

[35:53]

I hope so. I hope that somewhere or another you can at least make a start at figuring things out, figuring out what's happening really. What's happening really is that the universe is going along toward its own heat death or whatever, or toward rebirth of some kind. I think it's quite interesting, the idea that things get created out of nowhere, and all those quarks and things popped out of absolutely nothing. Just like form comes out of emptiness and emptiness comes out of form, it's very confusing. We come out of our own goofy heads into As far as I'm concerned, what we do is sit and wait.

[37:04]

Sit some more. It's very, very easy. That's the whole problem. It's very, very simple and very, very easy. And ultimately we can't figure it. Ultimately we simply have to understand physically what it is, what's going on, who you are. Thank you very much.

[37:58]

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