So what I was and am planning to share with you this morning are some thoughts about continuous practice, what I might also refer to as spiritual formation, but I think we have to begin this morning acknowledging the rising tide of violence and hate crimes against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders in the U.S. Of course, the shootings in Atlanta are on my mind, where six of the eight murdered spa workers were Asian American women. On February 25th, the Los Angeles

[01:04]

Higashi Honganji Jodo Shinshu temple was vandalized. It's a temple that's right around the corner from Zen Shuji and is really an intimate part of the Buddhist community in Japan town and in Los Angeles. A vandal came over the wall, over the locked gate, and damaged their beautiful lanterns in the entry to the temple and also smashed a window. And we heard about this from the priest at the temple, who's also the Bishop of North America of Jodo Shinshu. His name is Noriaki Ito, and I know him quite well from, he was one of the people that was

[02:07]

in the delegation that met with Pope Francis in Rome a number of years ago. So I was really shaken by that. I wrote to him and sent a donation. And there was a large outpouring from, particularly in California, Zen groups, many of whom have had interactions with Ito sensei over the years. I've also heard from Asian American members of our own community, the BCC community and the wider community, who understandably fear for their well-being in the streets, on the streets, and in

[03:09]

public. And this is a time of fear. The origin, which is just mind-boggling to me, is the kind of baseless and really shameful accusations that somehow the virus, the COVID virus, was begun in China. But what we look, as we see, look through American history, we find that Asian Americans and other immigrant populations have habitually been targeted in times of national crisis.

[04:11]

And so one of the centers, I will try to put something on the chat or send it out to the community list, but one of the centers is Stop Asian American Pacific Islander Hate, is a center launched in response to this racist repression. They received more than 3,800 reports of attacks and abuse against Asian Americans in 47 states during 2020 and 21. And another report finds that hate crimes, targeted hate crimes against Asian Americans have surged by 150% in 2020.

[05:19]

There's a history of this as well. There's a history of Asian American, of anti-Asian violence in this country, and actually much of it has been under the cover of U.S. law. You have the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882. You have the mass incarceration of Japanese American citizens during World War II. You know, in Buddhist terms, this is a systemization of delusion. It's systemized or systematized in population in the form of what we might call white supremacy. It's also been systematized in our legal system at different points in our history.

[06:24]

So, I do not have a solution to this, but I hope we can commit ourselves personally and organizationally to stand with our Asian American and Pacific Islander sisters and brothers. We can offer them spiritual and material support, and I will try to make that available, the contacts available to you. I made a donation to the Higashihonganji Temple when that happened, and yesterday I found a link to a fund for the families of the victims in the Atlanta shooting, since I

[07:27]

sent a donation there. And I think we could just continue the discussion within our communities and with our friends about what does solidarity look like, what does support look like. So, this Wednesday morning coming after Zazen, instead of the regular well-being service, we'll have a memorial and well-being ceremony in Berkley Zen Center's online Zendo to remember those who have died and to stand with those who live at risk and fear. So, I really invite you to join us for that. That'll be at 810 on Wednesday.

[08:34]

So, let's just stop and take a couple of breaths. In the remaining time today, I hope you'll excuse me for shifting the focus. Actually, maybe it's not exactly shifting the focus. Maybe we've widened the focus of the next part of our talk by prefacing it with this acknowledgment of what's going on in our country and our vow to bring our practice to that.

[09:42]

So, what I wanted to do was reflect on particular teachings that I and we have received from Sojin Roshi, and this is going to be the second in this series of reflections. The subject I want to touch on today is what we might call continuous practice. That's the way, that's what Dogen calls it in his fascicle Shabu Genzo Kyoji. He also uses the term Kyoji Dokon, which means continuous practice in the circle of the way. So, I want to quote Dogen, on the great road of Buddha ancestors,

[10:48]

there is always unsurpassable practice, continuous and sustained. It forms the circle of the way and is never cut off. Between aspiration, practice, enlightenment and nirvana, there is not a moment's gap. Continuous practice is the circle of the way. Another way that I think of this, as I think I mentioned, is this continuous practice is what we might think of as spiritual formation. The constant motion of our practice that spirals both upwards in ascending circles

[11:56]

and also downward in the depths of our understanding. So, I came across a wonderful talk by Sojin Roshi that was given in Chapel Hill in the 90s. Joel might have been there. You don't know. I don't know. I was there when I was there and here when I was here. So, this is a lecture on continuous practice. I'm going to read you a section of it and maybe comment as we go along. So, this is Sojin speaking. We have these two questions. First, why do we do this? When we start to sit, we instinctively know why. It's beyond our reasoning, but somewhere we know.

[13:00]

So, it's true when I came to Berkeley Zen Center and it really settled in, the question that I asked myself, it was a why question. And that why question was, why am I here on the planet? And I think I've told this before. It was a question I brought to my psychotherapist and she said, oh, that's not a psychotherapeutic question. That's a spiritual question. And I said, oh, okay. And that was when I started looking around and very quickly returned to Berkeley Zen Center. But it was a why question.

[14:03]

And why do we do this? Once I did walk in here, I felt instantly at home. And I couldn't answer that question why, but I knew it was where I was supposed to be. And that actually, you know, here we are almost 40 years later and I still feel that way. Very, very fortunate. So, Sojin says it's beyond our reasoning, but somewhere we know. Knowing knows, said, but when we start to reason about it, we don't know anymore. We try to match our reasoning with our knowing. And it brings up this question, especially when we get into a difficult spot. So, yeah, that happened to me also.

[15:08]

Things happened here while I was here. And I felt like on some, in some inarticulate way, I knew that this was the right place to be and the right thing to do. But there was also always a part of my mind that was, that was asking. What, what makes you think this way? You know, why do you think, you know, you know, how, how do you know that this makes sense, that this is a way to live? And I listened to that, but not much. You know, not much, because I, I trusted that deeper kind of knowing. And partly because I had no place else to go.

[16:17]

So, Sojin says it's like taking a boat ride. We know we enjoy going out in the boat. But then a big storm comes up. Pretty soon, soon, the boat's leaning over and the sails are starting to rip. The waves are coming over the gunwales. We say, why do we ever do this? Why do we go out in this boat? He says, but it doesn't, it doesn't help. The real question is, how do I deal with this? So this is at the heart of his perspective on continuous practice. He, Sojin says, and we've all heard this many times. He says, how is the practice question? Why is valid, but it's secondary to how.

[17:20]

Take your life, for example. Why were you born? It doesn't matter. Here you are. The real question is, how do I live this life? How do I deal with this situation? And. I think that. There was a shift in my fundamental question very quickly. I could not answer. The question, why am I on the planet? But that question shifted to how am I on the planet? How shall I live? How shall I live?

[18:22]

Brings up. All of the. All of the Buddhist practices. Another way of framing the six parameters, the six perfections is exactly. How shall I live? According to what practices and according to what principles? How shall I live? Sojin says. You can deal with why? Until you get tired of that and turn to how? Probably many of us. Do that. You know, it's why, [...] why? And sometimes we're lucky. We get to jettison that on the early side. Sometimes it may not happen until we're 50 or 60 or 70. But if you keep at practice, it allows for that door.

[19:24]

To open. So you can shift your question from why? To how? How do I do this? That is the con of your life. Occasionally, someone will ask me, this is Sojin. How can I be a good Zen student? Invariably, I say. That's a great question. Keep that question in all your activity. How can I be a good Zen student? He says, how do I do what's in front of me? How do I practice? Moment to moment. We're not seeking something far off. We're seeking to know. How do I stand in this place? Right now. I think one of the practices that Sojin gave me that I talk about.

[20:34]

Frequently. Because I tend to. Very easily move into my head. His practice for me. And I've given this practice to many people to say. Where are my feet? And what I find. As soon as I ask that question, where are my feet? It immediately gets down to. The nitty gritty. How are my feet? You know, so. If my. If I'm sitting back, my legs are crossed and I ask myself. Where are my feet? Immediately. I put both feet on the ground. And my mind naturally goes to. The point of contact. With my feet. If I'm sitting.

[21:35]

If I'm standing. I feel that point of contact. I also might. Feel the. The way. My body weight is distributed. On my feet as I'm standing on the ground. And so. The question, where are my feet? Again, it's translated into. How are my feet? How do I stand in this place right now? He says. He says, how do I sit in this spot? Right now. Totally. This is not just about sitting Zazen. It's about walking. Eating. Moving. In the larger sense. It's about how do I harmonize. Body mind. With the universe. He says, that's our practice.

[22:38]

When we sit. We harmonize body. In mind. With universe. Without discriminating. Without picking and choosing. In other words. Including everything. When I pause just now. Between words. I heard. I hear the chirping of a bird. Outside the window. And I hear the barking of a dog. That's included. In this moment. So how do we harmonize the intellect? With the heart. He asks us that. Where is the center of our being? So.

[23:49]

So, as I said, I've been thinking about this in the context of. Spiritual formation. Spiritual formation is a. Term that's. Borrowed from. Christian training. To the seminary. Where. Where priests are. Go through a process of transformation. I would say in our. Approach. Zen in this country. Everybody goes through this process. It's not just for. It's not just for priests. This process of spiritual formation is. The process of. Continuous practice. Of opening ourselves. To. Universe. Of opening ourselves to each thing that is. That is actually present. And.

[24:50]

Usually. Spiritual formation. Is about the process of seeking meaning. But again, I think in our. Approach. The question of meaning is not a why. Or a what. But it's a how. So rather than saying what is the meaning of my life. I would say. I would hear. I can hear Sojin saying. How is the meaning of my life? And he plays around with that. Part of speech. How as a noun.

[25:52]

And how as an adverb. That modifies the verb is. How is it? How is it? It is how. And that. Is a way to explore meaning. Another question you might ask. Is. How am I connected to the world? How am I connected to. Say. The vandalized temple. In Los Angeles. How am I connected to the spa workers? In Atlanta. How am I connected to. The.

[26:55]

Incarcerated interned. Japanese Americans in World War Two. How am I related to George Floyd? How am I related to. My sisters and brothers on the screen right here. This. Continual examination. And exploration. Is. The circle of the way. It's the continuous practice. That. We have to find for ourselves. And it's also important, you know, that we find in the. We find in the Buddhist teachings, we see it. You know, as we look through these systems of formation, the eightfold path.

[28:02]

Paramitas. The Bodhisattva precepts. And so forth. Endless. Systems which are just. Devices for getting us to look at. How are we right this moment? And also. How do we wish to be? What is our. How are we aspiring to be in connection? With ourselves and with others. So. I feel that I was very fortunate. When I came here. I arrived at Brooklyn Center in. At some point, I think, in 1984. And Sojin was away in Japan. He was. He was receiving Dharma transmission from Uesu Suzuki.

[29:04]

And. When I walked in, no one was directly leading things. But there were. Long term practitioners around. Mealy Scott. Ron Nestor. Fran Tribe. And others. And I really look to them. For as models of how. To live and how to move. And it's interesting when I look back on it now. It's half a lifetime ago. And I was already in my. Mid to late 30s. But in my recollection, it's it's as if I were a child. You know. I didn't know anything. I certainly didn't know. I really didn't know. I didn't have an idea about how I wanted to live.

[30:06]

So I watched them. And I threw myself into Zazen. Which was hard. The sitting was painful. And. Distracted. And boring sometimes. But. It doesn't feel that way anymore. Actually, it's pretty settled now, usually. So now my knees have given out. So there's a whole other realm of pain. But I persisted. It was something about the people that I saw around me. Even in those first weeks at BCC. And. I. Wanted to be like them. And then after a month or so. So it didn't return from Japan. And he had his new brown pre-scopes on.

[31:10]

And. His quiet and confident manner. Brought my vision of what was going on at Berkeley Zen Center into focus. And. You know, I'm grateful that I have always found him to be. A man who was. Devoid of self-promotion. Free from the snares of narcissism. It was just a steady presence. At every period of Zazen in those days. He had very little to distract him. That pulled him into other other directions. And I could see that. It was. This was a presence that was. The pivot. Around which the community. Had formed and turned.

[32:12]

And so. I learned about Dosan. Meeting with the teacher. In a private interview. And. I had no idea what it was, but it was. It was very clearly communicated that this was an essential. Element. Of Zen training, although nobody. Explained to me what happened in the room. So nevertheless, I signed up. And. My time arrived. Like everybody else, I found my way. At first, they talked about physical pain. And I talked about. Psychological pain. A lot of it was about pain. You know, but. And he listened. He just listened. His answers were rarely direct.

[33:16]

They rarely explained anything. And what. As we know, what he often did was he. He would turn your language around on you. And. Make your question to him. A question back to you. And so. That was how we developed a relationship. And as I've said elsewhere. It was. It was an exploration. This is part of my. This is a critical part of my spiritual formation. Part of my spiritual formation was. Really. Watching the Sangha. Entering the Sangha. Being part of it. And learning from. Everyone who is here in such a steady and reliable way. And part of it was from. Working regularly. With Sojan. Even though. I really had no idea what we were doing.

[34:23]

You know. As I've said elsewhere. I think my natural tendency was to keep. Trying to put him into a slot that I understood. Like. Oh. Father figure. Or. Psychologist. Or. Friend. Said none of that. What he was was a Zen teacher. Which was. Essentially a kind of mirror. And. That was not something that. That was not something that. Any of us. Had. Experienced within our lives. It was a new kind of relationship. And our intimacy was based on. Developing that relationship.

[35:27]

And that continued. For the rest of his life. And the rest of our life together. That. And I'm telling you about this today because. Sometimes I think that. The vividness of having a teacher. May have faded a bit. In our community. And. I think that there are people here. Who are good and reliable teachers. And I would. You know, I just encourage people to. Take advantage of that. And I also recognize that. So many of us. Were.

[36:31]

Our teacher. Was so. That will not go away. And it shouldn't go away. You know, I mean, all of us have heard him over so many years. Talk about his teacher. And very clearly. Suzuki Roshi was alive in his mind. And. That he was constantly working with that. And what I find, you know, now he's. A. He's a little over two months gone. I'm constantly mining. The teachings that I received from him. And. They have a kind of. We feel refined and pure quality.

[37:35]

Now. And I looked at them. So he's he's alive. For me. As I'm sure he is for other people. And I want to emphasize that. In no way. Do I assume that by virtue of my position as Abbott somehow. I inherit his students. That's not the case. I invite you. Into relationship. And I know that the other teach other teachers here. Would also welcome you into relationship. But that relationship does not displace. The pivotal. Teacher role that. Sojin had for many of us. So. To come back to continuous practice.

[38:41]

Continuous practice is Buddha. Dharma. Sangha. Buddha is the teacher. Dharma is the teachings. And Sangha is the field. In which all of this plays out. This is the territory. Of our lives. This is the territory. Of our spiritual formation. This is how. Each of us. Should be continuing. Our practice. As I said, raising the aspirations spiraling upwards. And really digging down. Into ourselves. To see. How it is it? How is it that I am living? How is it that I am standing? How is it that I am sitting? We have.

[39:51]

We're in session today. And so we have an opportunity to. To dig even more deeply into that practice. So those of you who are in session. I invite you to. Continue that way. And. Those who are not in session. Live that way. Please. So I'm going to stop here. And. Leave time for some. Questions and comments. And I think that. Mary Beth will. Will call on you. Either from your. Digitally raised hand. Or your. Optically raised hand. Or your. Chat. So. Thank you. Yes. So he's giving you the instructions. So I'll just call on Alex. Who already has his hand raised. Thank you. Thank you. You said that.

[40:52]

A teacher is a Zen teacher is essentially. Like a kind of mirror. Could you say more about that? Yeah. Well. It's a mirror. You know. In an ideal sense. It's a mirror. But. But actually. Sodium is a kind of critical mirror. It's a mirror that talks back. So. I'm going to think one of the mirroring. Aspects of that. Is. That I found. In Docusan. When speaking to him. I found myself. I found. That I could hear myself. More accurately. I could hear my tone of voice. I could hear the things that I was.

[41:54]

Maybe complaining about. Whatever. So that was just reflected without. Him having to do anything. But it's also true that. The relationship that I had. With him. Was one of. Trust. In which I gave him permission. To see what he saw. That's what I mean by sort of critical mirror. You know if there were things that I would. Doing. That he felt were. Not in. Alignment. And that's actually my next talk on alignment. He had permission. For me. On the basis of our relationship. Not on the basis of his position. But on the basis of the relationship that we. Developed. He had permission to. To tell me about it. And I would say that.

[42:59]

I felt it was a reciprocity. In that permission as well. That. That I. Could. Say those kinds of things to him. If there were things that. That I might feel that were out of alignment. That didn't happen very often. But it was there. You know and it's. In this. I've heard this many times. Sometimes this teacher is the teacher and the student is the student. Sometimes the student is the teacher. And the teacher is the student and so forth and so on. You know but. Mostly. He was my teacher. And that never stopped. Even. When. I had Dharma transmission. Which nominally. Is a kind of independence.

[44:05]

But. Still I was living here. And he was he was the head teacher. At Berkley Zen Center and so. I should just keep learning. And I did. Thank you. Our next question is from Peter Anyart. He asks Hosan. You implied that you first came to BCC as a result of a discussion with the psychotherapist. But why did you choose BCC specifically to show up in the first place? Well. So first of all. I had gone to BCC. I had come to BCC in the summer of 1968. A group of us came out from from New York. And wanted to practice Zen. We're living in Berkeley.

[45:07]

So this is on. We came to Dwight Way. We practiced there all summer. And practiced on also at. So Koji in San Francisco. And so there was some connection even though it. The temple had moved. And. I was. The books that I was reading. What I think I read. Immediately on this. After this conversation. To three books that were very influential on me. One was in my beginner's mind. Which had not been published. At the time that it wasn't published until 1970. Or 71. You know until. This was after I had come out here that summer. The other book was. Wonderful book by Jan van de Vettering called The Empty Mirror. About his. Experiences. His difficult experiences.

[46:08]

In Japan. As a Rinzai student. And the other was. The Snow Leopard by Peter Matheson. Who himself began to become a Zen teacher. But so I was. I was inclined. I'd always been inclined towards Zen. But the first place I contacted. Was the Nyingma Institute. And. I thought maybe I would sort of tip my toes in the waters there. But. For several reasons I decided not to. So I just. Came here. And I think I told this story. I've told this story a lot. I called up Berkeley Zen Center because it. You know it wasn't where I had left it. And. Somebody answered the phone. And I. You know. I said well. I had Zazen instruction in 1968. And I'm thinking of taking up the practice again. What should I do?

[47:09]

And this person said find a blank wall sit down and stare at it. Which is like. I hope nobody is giving people that instruction. On the phone. However. It was exactly the right instruction for me. I just thought. Oh. Somebody has a sense of humor. Okay. That's it. Okay. Okay right now there aren't any more hands raised or questioners. There's one more person who wants to jump in. Okay. Guys are very quiet today. Oh. Sue Osher. Thank you. Hosan. I guess what I want to say is that.

[48:14]

I. Found that I tried to mirror. Sojin. I tried to mirror. The senior teachers. And I was also. Found myself when he made some suggestions that I didn't agree with. I didn't do them a lot. And I did. I tried some of them. He had asked. He had suggested I. Wear a robe because then my feet would be warmer. And I never did that. You know to wear. The practice robes. So. I. I felt safer. Watching. And I came to this place because it did feel like home. And it was. And it felt safe. And. Sometimes. When people gave me instructions.

[49:15]

I could hear it. And sometimes I couldn't. But I loved. That I realized. With your talk that I trusted. His watching him learning from him. And I learned a lot from what he said too. But. That practice. Of being present. When you put your palms together. It just. It was transformative. And so. Thank you for your talk. Thank you. I always felt like that was. The heart of the way to learn. Was to watch. What our teachers. Did. And how they moved. And there's a. Another piece which I didn't get to. About. Where where Sojan says the same thing about how we.

[50:16]

Unconsciously. Embody our teachers. Ways. We take them. You know. There are people that I can. I can see people's. Bows. You know my teachers of the past I can see how. I can remember. How they bowed. I can. Recall. So for example. Shoto Harada in Japan who's Alex's teacher. We we sit facing out. In that tradition so you know he would be carrying the stick. And I can see him. Sort of just going around the room. Almost like a cat. Ready to pounce. And you know I can. We see these physical. These physical manifestations of our teachers. And that is an important way to learn. So thank you for that. See Daniel.

[51:23]

I. I think you mentioned. Harmonizing. Heart with intellect. Owner if you could expand on that. Yeah I mean this was in with something that Sojan said. Um. The word shin. The character shin in. Japanese and Chinese. It's pronounced differently in Chinese I think. Represents heart slash mind. That the location of. Your mind is not just. Here it's actually. It's actually physically embodied through your whole body. But for shorthand you say. Say heart.

[52:34]

You could also say. Belly. You could say belly mind. That's very good. To. That might be the best place to put your mind. In your belly. Um. One of the dangers. Of Zen. Is a kind of anti intellectualism. You know and. I think in our tradition. Uh both from. From Sojan and Suzuki Roshi and from Dogen. We don't discount. The workings of our mind. The workings of our mind are part of the. Workings of our whole being. And so it's not like. Oh those are. Those are unreal. They're as real as. Anything else.

[53:37]

Ultimately they're empty. But the workings of our mind are. You know. Even in delusion. It's miraculous activity. And so to bring that. Within the circle of the way. Uh. Not just to think of our heart. Or our body. But to recognize that mind is part of that. So that's what I'd say today. Baker Leslie. Um it is. I thank you. Who's on for your talk. My question has to do. With a relationship. To other and you spoke about relating to. Those who were shot in Atlanta. And George Floyd. My question has to do relating with the shooter.

[54:44]

Relating to the police officers who. Essentially murdered George Floyd. And for me when I try to. Relate that briefly is. You know. The. Universal sense it's. There is. Death destruction all that in the world there is killing there's murder. But in a personal sense. I can only relate to it. Knowing that I have myself been very angry at times. And deluded. And I've done things that I regret. And what I see. In the shooter in the murder of George Floyd. Is just. That extended many times over. But it's something that. Horrible but. It's hard to get beyond much of that an emotional connection. With the actual murderers and shooters. Your words. You don't need to.

[55:46]

You can only go. As far as you can go. You know you've already you have the basis. In what you just said. You have the basis for you have the. The spark of a connection there. That may be. Sufficient. You might be in a very if you were actually. In a room with any of these people or. In a circumstance where you were interacting. And you knew who they were or what they did. You would be called upon perhaps. To dig deeper into your resources. I think that. Kind of a vow that I've. Made for myself is. To make an effort.

[56:50]

To talk to anyone. And to recognize also. That may not come to much. That may I may. You know. Make the effort because that's my vow. We may not connect. But I think in the in the echo of that. I think for the. The ceremony that will do on Wednesday. It acknowledges the deep. Delusion. And the deep disconnection. That leads to these kinds of crimes. That that really distort the personalities. Of. The people who enact the crimes. And. So, I mean, to go back to something that Dr. King said, you know, you.

[57:53]

Which is very, very difficult teaching. To. Love the person and to abhor their actions. That's really hard. Thank you. I might just add briefly that for me, what's helped a little bit. Is the murder of Nancy McClellan. Her own Dharma sister. And I've forgiven the young man. Who killed her. And. That's sort of my personal connection to something very deep connected to me. Nancy was a friend. And so. You know, he was deluded in drugs and all that. I think your words are right. Thank you. Let me ask you a further question. Back to. The question I framed. I framed at the beginning. The how question.

[58:55]

Yes. Can you say something about how. You forgiven him or what? How was the process that led to that? Yes. I accepted. In my gut. That. The young man. Is no different from me. And but causes and conditions placed him in that situation. And. I just have a lot of compassion for him that developed. And I think it's what Nancy herself. I know it is what she would. She would have come to that point. And. And also, I think. Meeting the relatives. Yeah, that was very critical.

[59:56]

Seeing a mother. Sisters. Very, very. Important. But humanizes them. Humanized. That's right. That's right. You know, a really close friend of mine. Maybe this is where I'll end. Really close friend of mine. Who took up Zen. In his. 50s. One point he said to me. You know. I never realized that there were other people out there. You know, we live in this. Self-contained. Self-centered bubble. A lot of people do. All of us have. Have propensities in that direction. But that was such a. It was a stunning thing to. To hear from this friend. Yes. To answer someone who chatted to me. Yes. It was really quite amazing.

[61:00]

And that transformed this person. So I think this is where. We will end for today. Thank you very much.

[61:10]

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