So this morning we have a howling dog. We had a wonderful interval of jackhammers during Zazen, during which time the dog was silent. I don't know if that's correlation or causality. I don't know. And as I was approaching the altar, walking across Daibu Jim Jordan's name card on the altar. I think that's something that, if he could see it, would probably amuse Jim. And this world is just unfolding constantly. full of actions, our own, those of other beings, those of just the forces of gravity and the universe itself.

[01:19]

There have been a lot of things that have been on my mind, sort of very fertile time coming out of Seshine, And before that, coming out of a songwriting workshop at Tassajara, so I've had a lot of songs on my mind, and so I'm going to sing you one. But thinking of the totality of this action, last week I was thinking about something that Sojin Roshi wrote on the Raksha that I received when I was ordained as a priest. and this morning I dug it up, I found it, and it says the whole universe is the body of a shramana. No, it says the body, what it says on the raksu, but then I found the quote, it's the eye, you know,

[02:28]

The I is its own globe, in a sense. Shramana means monk or Vinanthi, actually. It is a sense in which all of us are, but it's also appropriate as a verse for ordination. This song has been on my mind, and I'm going to sing it for you, and then maybe unpack it a little and see what comes up. It was written by Jesse Winchester, who was a wonderful songwriter, originally from the South, but he was, because of the left and moved to Canada. And then when Carter had his amnesty in the late 70s, is that right?

[03:38]

He was able to come home. And because he couldn't perform in the US, but he was such a great songwriter, his songs got picked up and done by a lot of people. And this is one of his better known songs. It's called Defying Gravity. Which the more you think about that and you listen to the words It's a wonderful play Anyway I live on a big blue ball I never do dream I will fall And even the day that I do Well I'll jump off and smile back at you

[04:59]

I don't even know where we are They tell me we're circling a star Well, I'll take their word, I don't know But I'm dizzy, so maybe that's so I'm riding the big blue ball I never thought one day I'd fall But even the high must stay low So when I do fall, I'll be glad to go Yes, when I do fall, I'll be glad to go

[06:40]

So you don't have to plug, you can just throw 10 dollar bills. I guess I'll have a lectern if that would be possible. So I'm going to try to weave some of these thoughts together. I also was thinking that we're approaching July 4th, Independence Day, or Interdependence Day, or as Suzuki Roshi talked about it in his commentary, Branching Streams Flow in the Dark, Independence Day. so in a sense we're all of us on this big blue ball and it's also true that the whole universe is the eye is each of our eye everything that we see um it's interesting uh there was an interview with jesse winchester where he he talks about this song and somebody the interviewer was saying how much he likes them he says

[08:28]

Thank you. Again, I don't know where songs come from. And this is what's interesting. Apparently, the singer is talking about dying and how he's not afraid of it. He will face it with a smile, which sounds like complete bullshit to me. But you know, we have to take him at his word, I guess. That's him talking about his own song. But it seems to me that this song is staking out a territory of practice for us. And that territory of practice is one of independence and interdependence. it's one of facing impermanence and facing one's own delusions or one's fantasy or one's blind spots and then in the last line when I do fall as all of us will

[09:52]

metaphoric ways, in actual ways, I'll be glad to go. That's kind of marking out the territory of practice that's turning his mind in a direction that he would like to clarify for himself. He'd like to be able to find that ground and I find that deeply encouraging. And particularly poignant now. Constantly we have an altar that's populated by friends and teachers, lovers, loved ones who are passing on. And some of us are coming of an age where we begin to speculate on that eventuality for ourselves.

[11:02]

How do I want to face it? In fact, this song has been just, it's just been running, it's one of those, it's been sort of like an earworm for me. It's been running incessantly in my head for the last two weeks. You know, Lori says, she said, well, this is surprising. This is not usually the kind of song that you like. It's like too singer songwriting. But maybe I'm changing. Who knows? It's possible. All of us can change, even things that we appreciate. So, in the first two verses he says, I live on a big blue ball and I never do dream I will fall.

[12:14]

We think that our place is, we think we really have a place here. We think we have a place that we're standing. We think that we have a place that we can count on. We don't dream that we might fall. And then again, even in this first verse, he speculates that someday he will, even the day that I do, I'll jump off and smile back at you. Oh, that's a nice thought. maybe that will happen, or maybe as I thought when I saw the spider crawling across Jim Jordan's name card, I could picture Jim smiling. So where do we exist when we jump off, when we fall?

[13:18]

Do we exist in our mind or do we exist in the minds of others? When we leave this place, do we truly reintegrate with the whole form of the universe? So the next line actually, I realize it describes my position this moment, actually this moment in this talk and may describe your own wondering where I'm going or where this takes you, the line is I don't even know where we are and I don't, I don't know where I'm going literally for the next 20 minutes and then

[14:24]

That's the first 20 minutes of the rest of my life. They tell me we're circling a star, well I'll take their word, I don't know, I mean it doesn't feel like we're spinning around and yet we are and then he says but I'm dizzy so maybe that's so. If we look circumstances of our daily lives are overwhelmed. And so, as another of our teachers, Komanchino Roshi, wrote, when we're overwhelmed or said when we're overwhelmed by the circumstances of our life, it's a natural response just to sit down. And in a sense, I think that's what I've come to understand.

[15:31]

It's one way to understand what I'm doing here in Zendo. I know that if I didn't have this kind of practice, I would be overwhelmed. I would be completely dizzy. and it is just such a relief to be able to just take our seat every morning and to take it actually whenever that seems to be called for whether it's on a schedule or just on our own and actually that's a really good It's a good preventative measure to take in the face of a potential fall.

[16:34]

So rather than falling, before you fall, just sit down. Which brings, you know, it brings up the old Zen masters In the Tang Dynasty, certainly in some dynasties, the most auspicious kind of death for a Zen person was to die in Zazen, cross-legged and sitting. And there are lots of stories of those who passed away that way. And actually, in China, In the Tang Dynasty, for some of the Zen masters who passed away like that, they would then take their body and dump it in a huge vat of lacquer to mummify them so that they would forever be sitting cross-legged.

[17:47]

And actually some of those... Did you see some of those in China? Some of those flesh bodies? That's what it's called. The Six Ancestors, still, I mean, if that's who it is, who knows, you know. That, there's his mummy, or parts of it, because it was actually, people kept attacking it over the years. The communists, but before that, there's a story, isn't there a story in the Platform Sutra about a Korean monk who goes to cut off his head? He didn't do it. Oh right, he didn't do it. The Korean Buddhists pay him a lot of money. They wanted the head of the sixth ancestor. So just keep in mind, Buddhism can be weird too. There's much apocrypha. Yeah. But there's also truth.

[18:53]

I mean, mummies of these guys, it's... Well, the other, if you want to know the true story... Yeah. These patriarchs, little by little, would drink lacquer. Yeah. A little bit of lacquer. And if you've been using your arioke bowl long enough, you will also have this. Lacquer will all come off the arioke bowl and find it in your stomach. But no, this is... No, I know. So just drink a little bit of lacquer. So by the time you're done, you'd be already preserved. No, I think that's true. I don't know. But what is true, though, if you take a look at my... I'm working on this, you know? If you take a look at my orioke bowl, which is now 25, 26 years old, it's like most of the lacquer in the big bowl So is this my strategy to live forever?

[19:57]

Fortunately, it goes out the other end. This is a wonderful dialogue we're having. I don't even know where we are. That's really the reality of our situation. Just this not knowing. And, you know, the song creates this great spaciousness around that. It's okay. It's okay. If I'm dizzy, maybe that's so. It's okay. that's where it leads to the third verse you know I'm riding I'm riding that big blue ball I never thought one day I'd fall but I'm gone I've been living in delusion but even the high must lay low which is kind of recognition of impermanence a recognition of the nature of reality

[21:17]

And then he, as I said, he posits this practice position. So when I do fall, I'll be glad to go. For some reason that puts me in mind of when we went to Mögen, Steve Stuckey's premission I was very surprised although just to see there was there appeared to be a small smile on his face and maybe that's ease when we come to that place and maybe we smile with relaxation if we can do that but as you know as that's what the singer posits but then of course the author of the song says he's not afraid of death he will face it with a smile which sounds like complete bullshit to me but you know you have to take him at his word

[22:46]

So, these are questions. These are actually the questions of our practice. We're practicing for our departure. How are we facing it? How will we face it? How do we face the departure of each moment? Of each day? of each circumstance. And I think this is where I like this consideration of another framework that Suzuki Roshi brings to bear on this, which is in In his book, The Branching Streams Flow On in the Dark, he talks about the verse in the Sandokai that we recite, light and dark oppose one another like the front and back foot in walking.

[24:06]

So Suzuki Roshi says, We're still talking about reality from the viewpoint of independency. Dependency and independency are two sides of one coin. So, to be dependent or interdependent means that all of the circumstances of our life, everything that we do is contingent upon everything else. So the causes and conditions come together in such a way that we are born, they're coming together in every moment that we live, and they come together in the moment that we pass away and move into the larger universe. That's mutual dependence or interdependence.

[25:08]

And then you also have the side, the independent side. The side in which each moment is unique, each being is unique, each birth is unique, each moment of passing away is unique. And these are inseparable. You cannot separate our independence from the vast world of circumstances that are interdependent. So actually a song is like that. Every song, every creation, every work of art that you can imagine is interdependent on everything that has come before, which is what causes and conditions.

[26:12]

So there's no way to write a song or paint a painting or build a building or dance a dancer or write a poem without there being a world of reference that informs our mind as we create, whether we're aware of it or not. And that's the complete interdependency Each song has its own life, its own sound. The melody may be related to something else, but it's independent as well. And actually, that's the way our lives are. That's the way our Zazen is. Every moment is completely independent. We sit, independent beings sit next to each other on the tan, facing the wall. And yet, interdependently, we come together to this room to support each other.

[27:22]

Our whole lives, our parents, our families, our, you know, our banks, our employers, All of that is the interdependence on which, with which we sit as we sit. So we're just all on this big blue ball together. So I think I want to, is it okay if I sing this song once more? And then take some questions. And I think that a song also is like, you know, we've been studying for a practice period.

[28:32]

John Moby was giving us lectures on case words of the Zen master Joshu. And then he was also relating a whole bunch of other cases. So Joshu John talked about how one moved from this Chinese poem, verses from a Chinese poem. The Great Way is not difficult, if only you can avoid the crows. If you can avoid picking and choosing. And so, Zhou Shu was referencing a poem that had been written hundreds of years before him. And the third ancestor who wrote that poem was, I haven't looked it up, but he was doubtless referencing some older Chinese poetry, Chinese song.

[29:40]

And this is, again, the koans are all like this. They're worlds of reference, and yet each one shines forth on its own. Songs are like this. We, each of us, is like this. I live on a big blue ball And I never do dream I will fall Even the day that I do You know I'll jump off And I'll smile back at you I don't even know where we are They tell me we're circling a star I'll take their word if I don't know But I'm dizzy, so maybe that's so.

[31:03]

I'm riding the big blue ball. I never thought one day I'd fall. But even the high must lay low So when I do fall, I'll be glad to go Yes, when I do fall, I'll be glad to go So, do you have any Thoughts, questions, comments? Yes, what's your name? Justin. Justin, hi. Thank you for the talk and the song. You said when we die we move to a larger universe.

[32:08]

Can you explain that? Yeah, not necessarily as a me or an I, but all of the elements certainly all of the physical elements of your body re-enter the universe and they're decomposed and recomposed, if you will. How can there be a larger universe? It's one universe. It's not the larger universe. You're already part of it. Right. Yes. No, that's right. You're correct. It's just the circumstances of the universe change, things are coming and going, but the universe is, that's the thing, the universe itself, there's dynamic motion within it, but it is stillness and complete.

[33:10]

Yes, Linda? I would like to quote Kabir on your topic, okay? Is he here? What? Is he here? OK. OK, he has a little short poem that says, in English at least, that when I was born, the world, I was crying and the world smiled. I hope I live my life in such a way that when I die, the world will cry and I will smile. And so while you're talking, I was thinking that I'm already smiling at you after my death. And that Zazen isn't really practicing for death so much as doing death. So if I'm losing my ability to keep my knees down or whatever the hell I'm losing, I'm losing my figure.

[34:15]

So if I'm smiling while I lose it, which I'm usually not, Then when I'm dead, you'll see me smiling. That's all. Thank you. I'll keep my eyes open. I think what I've noticed, and you may contradict me, I feel in the last few years I've been smiling more. So maybe I'm right. Yes, Helen. I just want to say I don't come so much lately, but I think your song got me here before I knew it. Oh, good. Well, it's nice to see you here. The great thing about here is it's continuous.

[35:19]

It's like if you come, you join the party. But the party is like going on every day, right? And I think that's one of the real, I think it's one of the things that I love about the practice here is that there's just a continuity to it, you know? So like, Anne Kennedy sitting next to you, she's been gone for like, how many years? Three and a half. Three and a half years, and you know, in another country and you just come back and things are just going on, right? And you can just slip right back in. That's really, you know, that's terrific. And I think that's the, I actually think that's certainly Sojin Roshi's vision, but it's the vision I think that Suzuki Roshi wanted to plant here. It's like really practicing

[36:21]

our whole life. And as Linda was saying, every moment we're jumping off and then climbing back on. Every moment is birth and death. And we have that opportunity to do that together. Yeah, Judy. What just came to mind was Hakuin's song Zazen. And I know a melody to it, the last line that says, this earth where we stand is the pure lotus land and this very body, the body of Buddha. So when you talked about practicing for death and what Linda was just saying, for me it just brings me back to the intimacy of being Buddha together. So I wanted to thank you for your song.

[37:31]

Thank you. Yes, Sue. Thank you for allowing something in me to unfold and open and connect and lighten up. And I appreciate something happened in the talk that just was very wonderful to feel. to connect to your song, to Jesse Winchester's song. It's revealing something to me. So just thank you. I'm curious, but you can tell me when you want to. I sort of woke up. I was thinking about going home because I haven't had any sleep last night, and it was energizing to sit here. somehow, and I don't know that there's any more to say because it's gone. But the idea of the lacquered monk is sort of sticking with me. You can write that in your will, you know.

[38:35]

Oh no, I was thinking you'd write it in your will. Yeah, exactly. I think that's the right response. Have you ever figured out how to spell lacquer? L-A-C-Q-U-E-R? Yeah, I think so. Not to be confused with liquor. Well, I think that's the mistake some of the Japanese monks do. They misread liquor and lacquer. Time for one more, perhaps. Yes, Ed. Yeah. The song reminded me of the Earth, that we're all on this big, blue ball. And also some sadness and fear about when we jump off of where we're leaving our children.

[39:38]

Yeah. And concern and sadness about how things are going, especially how we treat I think that's part of what I feel we need to hold tenderly in our meditation and in our action. To me that's implicit in this song, but that's part of the world of that of awareness that you're bringing that each of us brings our concerns for this blue ball and for our place in it and for uh hopefully fact there'll be beings behind to smile back at so thank you so enjoy this uh beautiful day

[40:50]

@Text_v004
@Score_JJ