training. Day four of our five-day sashim, and we've been working hard and enjoying ourselves together. I want to acknowledge today that all across the country, even right now, people are gathering to resist fascism and bigotry.

[01:28]

And I want to share my intention and conviction that this too is a gathering to fascism and bigotry of a different kind. That our effort expresses and includes our longing to heal the destructive divisions in our society. And that expression I'm not going to talk about that more today. In this practice period, Roshi Greg and Roshi Linda have asked me to be the head student. As part of that, they gave me a koan for my contemplation, and I want to continue with you. They gave a koan from the Blue Cliff Record, which is from the 11th century China, before Dogen brought

[02:34]

Zen to Japan from the 13th century. I'm moderately familiar with European religious literature of the medieval times. There's nothing really of this subtlety or profundity there. And they asked me to consider case 78. 16 bodhisattvas go in to bathe. I'll read the case. In olden times, there were 16 bodhisattvas. When it was time for monks to wash, the bodhisattvas piled in to bathe. Suddenly, they awakened to the vases of water. All of you Chan worthies, how will you understand their saying? Subtle feeling reveals an illumination and we have achieved sons of Buddha.

[03:41]

To realize this, you too must be extremely piercing and penetrating. This case is taken from a chapter in the Sutra, and in that chapter, Ananda, who is Buddha's attendant, who memorized all the discourses of the Buddha, mastered his teaching, but still famously was slow to wake up, even as his friends entered the stream. He asks Buddha, well, can you just really make it very simple? Take it down. How does this happen? How do I wake up?

[04:44]

And Buddha turns to the Sangha and asks them to step forward, and can you explain it to Ananda? And one person is gate of sound, Another person talks about the gate of smell. And the third person is Bhadrapala, who describes this story. And it's Bhadrapala's statement. Feeling reveals illumination, and we achieve the station of sons of Buddha. So I think I have to reach to express some understanding. of that in this talk. Fortunately, Suzuki Roshi left an answer key.

[05:49]

And it was in a commentary in the Lotus Sutra where Bhadrapala also appears. And he's also talking about the Tassahara Baths, Suzuki Roshi, in this statement. He says, still, why water penetrates to everything is, it has no self-nature. If you have self-nature, you cannot penetrate into everything. This is the Koan study about this Bodhisattva. It's interesting, he uses the word penetrate, which I don't think appears in the Lotus Sutra like that, but is in this case. I think he must have been thinking about this case where he says to realize this, you must be extremely piercing and penetrating.

[06:57]

And so water penetrates the earth, sinks down into the soil and reaches the aquifer. Water will penetrate our clothing and will get wet to the skin in the rain or we can use our clothes or filter water. And water can carve a canyon through rock. But I think this penetration is different. This penetration is no separation. Usually we talk about Manjushri's sword cutting through delusion, but here could pierce delusion, Manjushri's sword of wisdom. And he says water has no self nature, but surely water has the nature.

[08:08]

It freezes. at 32 degrees and boils at 212. It weighs a pound per pint and a kilogram per liter. It rises up into the sky as vapor and falls as rain. Light goes through it. It supports weight while we go through it. And it's a universal solvent. And it's hard to even imagine how life could begin without those three properties.

[09:12]

but they're even kind of subtle properties. The molecules have a polarity, so it bonds to itself, and it adheres to things. And how many dozens of times have I poured the oreoche to the next bowl, and the water adheres to the side? And what's my thought? I have to learn to respect the subtle nature of water to learn to do that. But if it didn't cohere and adhere, plants wouldn't be able to draw water up from the root to the leaf. It's all these subtle properties of water make it miraculously perfect for supporting life.

[10:19]

Human beings too, we too have a nature. We're born of two parents. Every day, Every day we're hungry. Every day we're thirsty. Every day we're sleepy. We have senses. We learn language. so we can talk to other people and talk to ourselves and learn things from previous generations and different places. It was Prince Siddhartha's first insight that began his journey, that we're of the nature to grow old and grow sick and to die.

[11:39]

And please, it doesn't have to happen in that order. Only the lucky does it happen in that order. We want love and we grieve our losses. That's our nature too. And really, we're also quite perfectly designed to be individual. And actually, you know, you see a lot of failures, but we do very well with that too. We certainly need to learn how to be a community. But we also have a self-nature, says Suzuki Roshis.

[12:53]

If you have self-nature, you cannot penetrate into everything. If I try to point to self-nature, what water doesn't have that we have. I'd say water doesn't want anything. Water doesn't have anything. Water doesn't know anything. And water doesn't attain anything. Water has this perfect home leaving. And we want things, and we know things, and we attain things.

[14:02]

And out of that, we build a perimeter defense for this separate self, this self-nature. We pray for ourself. And it can seem like it's different. Oh, well, water isn't alive. Of course it doesn't want anything or have anything or know anything or attain anything. It doesn't make as big a difference as we think. And it's this gate of poverty

[15:08]

when we let go of wanting and having and knowing and attaining, we can see that the self around which we've been organizing a defense, a separate self, has never existed. is feeling without that self-nature. And it reveals illumination. It reveals that this separate self never really existed. The commentator continues, Since they didn't wash off the dirt, and they didn't wash their bodies, Tell me, what did they wash?

[16:14]

If you can understand that at peace within, you realize anything existing. And this is us, this is our practice here. We're not washing off our sins or purifying ourself that way. as I said, absence of attainment is true wisdom. If there's something which is attained, this is just semblance of wisdom, the appearance of wisdom.

[17:17]

So if you have attainment, then you're just building a nest out of it, just building a defense out of it. It's just the appearance. Since they didn't wash off the dust, and they didn't wash their bodies, tell me, what did they awaken to? When you get to this realm, nothing at all is applicable. Even the word Buddha must be avoided. We have achieved the station of sons of Buddha. He says, once you awaken to this subtle feeling, then you achieve the station of sons of Buddha. That is, you are in the stage of Buddhahood.

[18:21]

If you have attainment, then you have none. If you have none, then you have attainment. But if you go through that gate of poverty, well, it also belongs to our nature to want things, to have things, to know things, to attain things. Those aren't the problems, it's building a self, having self-nature around that. And that's the stage of riding home on the ox or coming down from the mountains of wish-giving hands. They talk so funny here.

[19:34]

It's in a dream you once spoke of awakening the perfect pervasiveness. Though you've washed in fragrant water, I'll spit right in your face. You know, I was part of a Zen community where they had a spirit of Dharma combat. When you strike, you strike to kill. And I appreciate this way, or I believe our way of, you know, if we have something to teach each other, let's find out how to do it non-violently, even if that's not just because I'm taking questions tomorrow. Heart Sutra.

[20:41]

There's no cognition, also no attainment. With nothing to attain, a Bodhisattva depends on Prajnaparamita. Twenty words later. In the three worlds, all Buddhas depend on Paramita and attain, unsurpassed, penetrating the perfect Dharma. There's a second axis of this case, second dimension of this, which is... ...awakened together. And if every other case, a teacher talks to a student, a student talks to a teacher, a teacher talks to a student, the student wakes up.

[21:58]

It's about a teacher. They awaken together. The commentator says, For the ancients, too, there was a meaning to the path by hearing sounds, illuminating mind by seeing forms. If a single person awakens, this is the reason. But why did the 16 bodhisattvas awaken at the same time? Because the ancients practiced together and experienced together, awakened together and understood together. For a long time I've been a parent of young children.

[23:08]

My youngest is 15 now and doesn't need supervision. But even as I could justify the habit of sitting zazen, as something I needed for my well-being. Well, the time I might spend hanging out and talking, that was time taken from my family. That was just my understanding of my life. Even if I wanted to, that time didn't belong to me. And in that time, certainly I had a hundred practice discussions and people were generous and kind.

[24:16]

And I had a hundred business meetings, board meetings and the budget meetings and the finance committee meetings. And if I mention that, I don't take for granted people who are consistently capable and competent and mature in their approach to group practice. And I don't take for granted I've been in non-profits where it's stumbling from financial crisis to financial crisis. always desperately trying to raise the money to keep going, and that's never been the stress here. We've always had enough support to accomplish our modesty.

[25:27]

With the practice discussions, they'd have an agenda of a sense of, well, I'm bringing a problem to a wise elder for their advice. In the board meetings, they were considering the problems of the community. In more recent years, I have created a couple of friendships, and that means people I've put on a calendar consistently. I feel privileged to have the time of such learned and fascinating men. But this experience of being the head student is something new for me.

[26:29]

And it began before practice period, Certainly are Benji, Deborah. Also meeting with former chiseaux and leaders. And it continued on through group teas and individual teas. If I missed you, you know, I will offer a rain check. Try to get back together with you. And I know I was supported in this by practicing Zazen. And today I couldn't still talk to you about Samadhi or absorption. But I could be confident that, oh, I was more able to be present.

[27:37]

Things that were tangled in my life untangled themselves. Relationships improved. So this cumulative effect over the last few months of spending time So many of you. Quite dazzling. I've got my name here from Sojin. It says Gensan Seishi. Gensan is dark, mysterious mountain, and Seishi Sincere aspiration.

[28:47]

Well, I tell you in my vocabulary, sincere aspiration, that's like my highest praise. That means I really respect that person. It could be sincere faith, or bodhicitta, to wake up to benefit others, but altogether it means, well, you have faith that the world is good, and so you're going to take responsibility for your own unhappiness, and you're going to study how to make harmony in yourself and in the world. and I just have a feeling and an experience of sincere aspiration.

[30:04]

And if I have always thought, well, taking refuge in the Sangha, that's a pious idea about something abstract. I more have the feeling that in the experience that it's a gate that's open to us. That we could really have trust in each other. That we've created that together. the perfect life. And even in my experience of Zazen, all this time, the meaning of Zazen is something I do together with other people.

[31:32]

That's my understanding of it. But the experience of it been something I'm doing by myself. If I've got knee pain, if I'm gnawing on a bone of self-pity, that's a me problem. But maybe also facing out, I have more of a feeling that we're in this bath together. And we're practicing together, and experiencing together, meaning together, and understanding together. Sojin Roshi has a poem up on the bulletin board which expresses something of the no-self nature of water.

[32:56]

I'll end by reading that. Like Water. Someone asked me, what is the practice of a Zen student? I said, like water. Water always seeks the lowest place. It goes. It takes the shape of whatever boundaries it meets. Sometimes it looks like a cup or an ocean, the sweat on your hands, the snot in your nose, clouds, raindrops, lifeblood, constantly flowing in and out of your body. We mean it with plumbing, strong pipes with tight joints. Water is truth. Plumbing must be honest. Water can't be fooled. Water makes everything truthful. That is, it's pure activity. Sometimes it appears as slime or tears.

[34:01]

It goes through infinite transformation. When it dries out, it appears somewhere else. It is never lost or gone. It is purified by coursing through rocks and boulders. Water is drawn to the realms by the sun. Gravity pulls it to earth. It has the qualities of spirit and matter. Water becomes vapor, becomes cloud, retreats from earth, loses its shapes, lets go, returns to the dusty realms to nourish all as drops, mud, hailstones, snow, dew. The monk is called Unsui, clouds and water. The Unsui sits upright, doesn't lean right or left, backward or forward. Down with all its force, spirit rising with all its strength, mind open, vast as space, the life force blooming like a flower.

[35:12]

Equilibrium of all the forces and powers of the unconditioned realm in the midst of all . The lowest place is the highest place. The shape of the cloud and water person is determined by the direction of the wind. Water has no special shape or form. It responds to prayers. Its love pervades everywhere and is not by self-interest. Eno says, that one is like the sun, shining its light in all directions, illuminating the way, facing challenges, not turning away from difficulties, with purity like a lotus. line yet.

[36:43]

Thank you, Mark. This is a favorite column for me. I'm wondering if what you think is the possibility of anyone waking up by themselves? Yes, I think we all die alone in some way. It's all an individual journey. Not by themselves. Without any help? Alone. It's really only the Buddha. Shakyamuni does that, but we don't tell other stories of that, I don't think.

[37:48]

But I think it is possible, yes. There was a on Solano Avenue called Britmarine, and it had a huge carved dark bar along one side that was a remnant. of the prior place, which had been a lesbian bar called the Bacchanal. And someone in history had handwritten and scotch taped to the bar, we will awaken together. I've been thinking about that since then. Thank you. Gary? Or how about Genpo, who's right near the microphone?

[38:49]

I want to say thank you for taking this responsibility so seriously. Hi, Mark. Gary? Good to see you up there. I won't talk about swimming. I'll go swimming. I'll go swimming with you, though. Okay. Maybe one day we'll do that. Would you say water has no self-nature, but it has a nature? You would? Yes. What would ice and... You know, it's subtle whether in the English language water... I mean, in science, water has three forms, and all matter is solid, liquid, and gas.

[39:53]

But I think water, as a word, is different from ice. Yes, I mean, in Sojin's poem, it goes through these three cycles. I'm going through this idea that that's only one side. What would the other side be? Because there's always two sides, right? The other side to water is just water, not ice and vapor? It's okay. Ben? Chusomar.

[40:59]

Ben? I had such joy during your talk, and thank you for sharing your name again. You shared your difficult Sometimes difficult interactions, hard-hearted habits. But your name, that's you. How do you explain? My feelings, I don't feel connected to this name. You see it. I see it in other people. I see it in you, strongly. Thank you, Ben. Sandy?

[42:09]

Thank you for your talk, Mark. I just wanted to go back to Mary's question about awakening alone. A similar question was brought up when I did the intensive at Green Gulch and that it would be impossible. And Shakyamuni awakened with the Bodhi tree. Always connected to Mother Nature. Thank you, yes. I mean, the myriad things come forth through us, come forth through us and awaken us. Hi, Sue Osher. Hi, Mark.

[43:32]

Can you help me awaken? I'm trying as hard as I can. Keep trying. Hi, Mark. Sorry I don't have my video on. I'm not really feeling very well. I just really wanted to thank you for this talk and also for your previous talk and sharing your practice of the mantra. That's been a place I'm going to right now where I can't really sit zazen.

[44:38]

but I can't do this mantra practice. So I just want to thank you for that. We all are seeing you and hoping you feel better. Thank you. I did have a question, but unfortunately I forgot what it was. Thank you, Mark. If I remember, I'll write to you later. Philip? Mark, thank you very much for your talk. It reminds me as to be like water as an aspiration. It's a great aspiration. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you. Blake? Mark, I also want to say thank you for taking this so seriously.

[45:56]

I was going to ask you tomorrow, but since it's a little bit more relaxed right now and we have time, thank you for your stories, your interactions with the Abbots, with Sojin and Ozon. I was like kind of taken aback and I know that would be pretty devastating to me. now that you've been in Shuso, or are being in Shuso, how are you sitting with those interactions that you've kind of described over your last year and you're wasting mind all the time? I feel I'm healing in my relationship to the community and feeling I have a place here, I'm accepted here. I'm still looking for a feeling of being supported by them.

[46:58]

Though that echoed back to something embarrassing to me, after that talk. Not even like passing judgment on myself, but just as an echo. And I do think I can be healed in my relationship with them. I practiced their way in this place that they built. And so I continue their way.

[48:02]

Thank you. And know that your stories have helped other people heal too. Thank you. Carol? Thank you, Mark, for your talk and your just honesty about your feelings. My question is, you know, there's always two sides. Do you feel you've been able to forgive them? It goes on, and so did you go for whatever you felt was wrong? A wrongdoing or whatever that through them's affair was? Did you look... I'm not exactly sure I passed... Not just, but hurt. You felt hurt.

[49:10]

You've been able to forgive them for that hurt, or looking at that, that you felt was... But it sits for me as kind of... I mean, I... respect them, and... You can trust them. Lots of opportunity there. Thank you. Sure, did you remember your question? Is that what's going on? Yes, I did. So the bodhisattvas enter the bath and they experience water and they awaken together. I'm just curious if for you, any part of this koan can be illuminated by beginner's mind.

[50:15]

I imagine the bodhisattvas, that wasn't their first bath ever. Well, it's a mystery how to be surprised, how to be surprised by this present moment and how to find what's new and leave behind the past. So that's leaving behind knowing things and attaining things. Yeah, let me... If you can penetrate in one place, reading from Case 78, if you can penetrate in one place and you penetrate a thousand places, ten thousand places all at once, don't just hold on to a single nook or den.

[51:23]

All places are the gates by which Avalokiteshvara enters the truth. So it's leaving behind past ideas or past commitment and coming into the 10,000 places. Thank you. So what is the truth? It's all here right now. Not as an idea, but here. People are numberless. I vow to awaken with them.

[52:26]

Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. I vow to become it. Beings are numberless. I vow to overcome them. Delusions are inexhaustible.

[53:05]

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