Good morning, or good evening, wherever you are. How is the sound? Okay, in the back. Well, thank you to Linda Roshi for inviting me to come here and give a talk. And thank you all to support each other and to spend this precious Sunday morning with me.

[01:00]

I think I've met some of you, maybe not all, but for those of you who don't know me, I'm Lucy Xiao. I practiced at San Francisco Zen Center for quite a bit, and that's where I met Greg and Linda and spent a lot of time practicing. walking and eating and all that. I'm always happy to see them. And I'm happy to see many of you who I've met or ran into over the years. And I'm happy to meet some new friends today. So thank you very much. How many of you have been to Tassajara this summer, have gone down?

[02:08]

Was it something? It was the absence of something. Yeah, yeah. I'm sure each of you probably had different responses too. to it when you saw the ground where the zendo used to stand, the old zendo, or second old zendo. So I was there last month leading a retreat called Bringing Life to Life. And the moment I arrived, I went up, you know, to see the ground, and it just moved me to tears.

[03:13]

It's very complex. It's not just sadness, so much sadness, it's just some really powerful feelings. Feelings about impermanence and about transformation, and feelings of all the body memories, all the times going up the the steps from the east side or the west side, going into the ngawa and stepping into that threshold, into the silence, all that memory. And the crab apple trees behind the sandal.

[04:22]

I remember, Greg, you told me that's a crab apple tree. Wasn't that crab apple tree behind the zendel? Yeah, yeah. I was a little bit attached to that crab apple tree, I have to say. After the morning program, when we you know, we were taking down our ropes. That's the spot where I would take down my ocasa. And seeing that tree living through different seasons. And now it's gone.

[05:24]

And the zendo is gone. But it gives all of that, gives way to something different, something new. And so some of you have been there this summer, no. Now the retreat hall, the large retreat hall doubles as Zendo. So it goes through the Zendo retreat hall transformation back and forth a couple times a day. It's quite how the community just quickly adapted to this sudden change. And every morning you come to the retreat hall, it looks like a Zendo, feels like a Zendo.

[06:28]

Even with the dividers and the floor tans. And then right after the morning program, the yino and some of the students would quickly put all the cushions away, put the dividers away, and back into a retreat hall. Except for the altar. which is a great reminder of our old Zendo. It's the same altar. So the altar is still, it doesn't get moved, at least for the retreat we were in. It still sits in the middle of the hall. There's a different Buddha, but the Guan Yin statue is still there. because it's burned halfway, right in the middle.

[07:33]

If you look at it from one side, it's still the old guanyin. If you look at it from the other side, it's a blackened guanyin. Also, the retreat group, we just work with what we have. And when we do our stretching, when we do our circles, instead of, you know, we used to take up the whole retreat hall space. Now, take most of just half of the room and squeeze tightly into a big circle because the altar is sitting in the middle. It all worked out just fine. In fact, it just gave a lot of new energy, new life to our practice.

[08:36]

And no matter what happens, Sazen continues. And people just walk like... taking a few more minutes to walk the path into the Zendul and sit quietly, quietly, and come out and step into the activities of the day. In a way, nothing really changed in the midst of this big change. As I was thinking about how my experience this summer, my experience of the community and the

[09:54]

practice, the ongoing, the continuous practice in the valley. I was reminded of these lines from the song of the Jewel Mirasamadi when I was preparing for this talk. And I thought, oh, that would be something to talk about. The Song of the Jew, Mirror Samadhi, Bao Jing San Mei Ge, or Ho Kyu San Mai. Most of you have studied it, chanted it, or heard about it. Anybody who has not heard of this chant? It's a wonderful text, and it's long.

[10:56]

And so I'm going to just talk about the last couple lines. You can go back and read the whole text. Song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi. to mirror our mind, our true mind, our true self. So the last four, well, it's four lines. Each line has just four characters. I'm sure most of you have heard, remember it, and probably love it very much.

[12:02]

The translation at San Francisco Zen Center goes, practice secretly, working within, like a fool, like an idiot, just to continue in this way. the host within the host. Does any of you remember the translation you used here, just the last four lines? Okay. Would you like to read it for me? Song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi.

[13:08]

Yeah. It is not reached by feelings or consciousness. The very end. The very end. May I? Ah. With practice hidden, function secretly, like a fool, like an idiot, just to do this continuously is called the host within the host. Close, right? So I'm going to maybe just read the Chinese and then character by character. Okay, I'm sorry.

[14:16]

So it rhymes a little, right? When you... That's the character we use diving under. moving beneath the surface. You can say hidden or secret, but mainly it's like going deeply and quietly without attracting a lot of attention. You just do it Yeah. Secretly? For some reason, I don't feel like it gets to that.

[15:21]

Diving. How do you translate it? Practice. Yeah. Under the radar. Under the radar. I like that. Practice. without attracting as if you're under the radar. I'm elaborating. It's not an official translation. Don't quote me. Me. Subtle, close, close, very close together, like stitches, like the stitches you use when you do sewing.

[16:25]

In fact, you might have a man-mitsu, mi, mitsu, mi. The function, yon is the function. So the function of practice, continuous, continuous non-interruption, attention to all the details, the use of practice, the function of practice, Perhaps it's also the hallmark of Soto Zen practice. So Qian Xing. Xing means to practice, to walk, to conduct yourself in some ways.

[17:28]

So Qian Xing Liyong is the first four characters. pretty much talks about continuous practice. Talks about, well, Dōgenzenji has a whole fascicle about gyōji, continuous practice. The gyō is this, well, I'm going back and forth between Chinese pronunciation and Japanese pronunciation, is this practice Xing. Conduct. O. Walk. So the official translation is to practice secretly working within. Lu yu ru lu. Like a fool, like an idiot.

[18:36]

Yu, ru is like. yu is simple, foolish, not lu. The second one is slow, slow-witted, dull. So to practice like you're not a person, Not calculating what you get and what you don't get. To practice like a dull person that you don't try to rush ahead of yourself or rush ahead of everybody else. And being steady. Being simple, basically.

[19:47]

So practice it. Within, like a fool, like a slow-witted person. Dan Neng Xiang Xu Ming Zhu Zhong Zhu. Dan Neng Xiang Xu. Dan Neng Xiang Xu. Simply continue. Simply continue to practice like this. Just to continue in this way. Ming Zhu Zhong Zhu is called the host within the host. I think everybody agrees to that last translation. Host within the host. So in Zen, there is the image of guest, which represent the absolute and the relative, or the phenomena.

[21:12]

Or you might say, our true nature and all the changing conditions. So it's the nature of all things. And the guest is what comes and goes. And why does it say here, it's host within the host? It means as our practice continues to mature, we no longer separate host and guest. We no longer say, okay, when I sit on the Zaafu, I'm practicing.

[22:20]

When I go out and go shopping, go make dinner, practice becomes seamless. From one place to the next, just seamlessly flowing from one activity to the next. There's no distinction. Who is the guest? Who is the host? The host is completely at ease in all the changing conditions. We are, we continuously are in touch with our awakened nature, our which is the expression of our awakened nature.

[23:27]

So just to continue in this way, simply continue. Simply to continue this practice is the host within the host. It's called being fully aware, being completely at ease with all things. Well, do your best. Simply keep going breath after breath, step after step.

[24:47]

Simply making mistakes and making adjustments all the time. Well, with quote-unquote, meeting different conditions and trying to find, trying to harmonize with the conditions. In that process, you might like rub against something. And then you make a little adjustment. So this past weekend, the three-day long weekend, I went to a retreat with a small group of people who I sit with.

[25:56]

So we drove up to Gua Lala, a small town by the ocean. I don't know if you know, three hours north of here. So we based the shin. And just being quiet, just sitting, walking, sitting, walking. And then in between, we have different shifts, and then before and after meals. There are a couple minutes before each meal to go refresh yourself and make tea and something, and then a break after each meal. And so because we were going to be there for a few days, and the host had many interesting and nice teacups, mugs, and so everybody claimed, you know, adopted.

[27:08]

and put a label on the cup and just continue to use it throughout the session. And so someone who talked to me later said that, you know, he went through a lot of changes and he got to a place where he kind of let a lot of The things settle and let the things that let go of some of the things that doesn't serve him and feel a lot of ease now. And so during the sit, he had a very nice sit in the sishin and And then one morning, between zazen and before breakfast, there are usually a few minutes because we have to go check the kitchen and see if breakfast is ready.

[28:26]

So we had a few minutes. And so then he loved coffee. I think you can relate, some of you. So he really wanted to make a cup of coffee before breakfast. So he rushed over after that nice long sit and thinking about the coffee he wanted to make. As he got to the break room, he found another person there making tea using his favorite cup. Because the label he put on wasn't very clear, maybe a little kind of hidden or something. So the other person didn't pay attention. And then he immediately went to the person and said, this is my cup.

[29:28]

Well, he broke the silence, not only that, but also he made the other person kind of embarrassed. So the other person, oh, I'm sorry. And so he poured the tea into a different cup. And then coffee mug back, make his coffee. As soon as he sipped his first sip of coffee, he realized what happened. He was like, just when I thought I could let go of everything and just... At ease with myself, this coffee mug just gave me feedback. So he went to apologize to the other person. I mean, which it wasn't...

[30:37]

You know, everything was just fine. It wasn't like a big drama, but he learned. Like, just from the zendo to the break room, there is so much practice. To be aware, to be aware our own body and mind, to be aware our environment, what kind of impact we might have. on our environment, on other people. I love that story. In fact, most of what I heard from the group during the practice discussion were little things like that from the kitchen time, not from the cushion, not on the cushion. I think that was a great illustration of carrying practice moment after moment.

[31:47]

It's not okay to make so-called mistakes. It just helps us to see our habits, to see how we are attached to things, attached to our routines. see that and acknowledge that and let that go. So practice working within, like a fool, like an idiot, just to continue. In this way, it's called the host within the host. So on my way in and out of Tassajara, all of you probably who have been there know around May and June, there are lots of yaka, yaka coming.

[33:10]

the most magnificent blooms, cream color, I don't know, hundreds and hundreds of them, room from when was dark. So on our way out, there was when big yaka plants just sticking out from the cliff on the side. And we had to stop and admire it for a moment. And I was told by Leslie and Keith that the yucca plants around Taosahara, you know, they grow, they bloom just once, and then they die.

[34:23]

And it takes them years. Well, not the same plant, but after they die, the seeds get carried or scattered into other places. They take years to grow. again. I think I remember Leslie told me, or Keith, does that sound right? I looked online, I looked Yaka around Tazahara, and it gives me a bunch of information, and it says from 5 to 20 years. the conditions on the climate. And so for the first few years, for a number of years, the plant just keep growing the rosette and just store energy from the ground.

[35:34]

And it grows and keeps growing. You don't notice it. For years, they are just doing their thing on the ground. You don't even notice it. And then one spring, when all the conditions are ripe, the flowering stalk just quickly grows and kind of shoots up. quickly they bloom. And the blooming time is just a few weeks. So all the energy that they store, that they got from cultivation. And for a few weeks they just

[36:39]

put on this great display of the beauty of their blooms. That's when people notice. But that's not their whole life. That's the expression of their life in that moment. Life includes the seeds in the ground, the slow growing period of the base of the rosette. And then when everything comes together, they just flower. They just send out these gigantic flowering stalks. and just express themselves completely.

[37:45]

Practice secretly, working within. Like a fool, like an idiot. Just to continue in this way is called the host within. Thank you very much. And that's what I was going to say for the talk. And we have a few more minutes. Anything to share, any comments or feedback or questions, please feel free to comment. And please say your name so I know who you are.

[38:57]

Thank you. My name is Sue. Hi, Sue. Thank you for your talk and your teaching and the vast world. my introduction to understanding these phrases, which I never did. Thank you. You're quite welcome. Thank you for being here. I think we have Ross. Hi, Lucy. Hi. This is Ross. And I was thinking about the sandokai, where two types of people are described as some are sharp and some are dull. But there's not any kind of bias on one or the other, just an expression of that.

[39:59]

And I'm wondering about the thought of practicing like a fool, like an idiot. And the way I heard it was, don't overthink them to be sharp practice more simply and don't try to get ahead of others and what encouragement can you offer people who are maybe caught by their thinking they just have to cultivate it such a way that they do tend to overthink and they get caught in those the thinking, whereas a so-called simple person may be in a better position to just be open to the teachings of Buddha. Thank you. So I think the Sandokai, the expression of being quick and slow, or whatever translation they use, comes from

[41:03]

I think the Platform Sutra, where ancestors talked about the gradual and the sudden. So in essence, there's no distinction in our Buddha nature, slow or sudden. It's just we have different different temperaments, different characters, and different conditions. And when it comes to practice, though, in our nature, there's no quick and slow in our Buddha nature. But in our personal causes and conditions, we, we, we're different.

[42:08]

Different. And I think the Sandokai also, I think, refers to the southern school and the northern school. The slow and the gradual and the sudden enlightenment. And so the slow and quick here is not about the thinking mind. It's about cultivation of practice continuously. And then the insight can come quickly. And the insight comes from deeper wisdom under the radar. It's not from our thinking mind. So when we pay too much attention to our thoughts and taking it as real, it's getting away from our practice.

[43:21]

I mean, of course, we can study and we can learn and we can acquire knowledge, but that's not true. the essence of practice. And coming back to both Sandokai and Hokkyo Sanmai, just keep practicing. Whether we are a sharp person, a clever person, or a slow, simple person, the practice asks us to simply be aware. to do this continuously, to be aware that I have nothing to say, to be aware that I have a lot to say. You know, Sojin Roshi, my memory of Sojin Roshi oftentimes has to do with food.

[44:37]

So sometimes we would go out and have lunch, dim sum. And I remember a couple times we were talking about soto practice, you know, this mannitsu style. You know, in China and Japan, when they eat noodle soup, they slurp. You know, maybe in the West it's bad. table manner, but it's quite normal in Asia when you eat noodle soup and you just slurp this one long noodle, just make big sound. And then you eat that noodle. She said a couple times to me that you might have heard of that. I'm sure he has said that to you too. Soto Zen practice is like slurping A long noodle that never ends.

[45:44]

Thank you, Lucy. Thank you very much. Thank you. Go find some long noodle, everybody. Okay. Yes, it's coming. I'm Gary. Garrett. Gary. Garrett. Yes. Thank you. Help me with the host within the host. Like, where's the relative when the host is within the host? Well, the host within the host, when us have become host, you are just one with everything. you are at ease. So it's just emphasizing that you're completely at ease within or being the host.

[46:57]

So you might experience it, you know, I mean, when Dongshan, Master Dongshan talked about hosts and guests, it was a different also In other verses, he used different images, the five positions, often translated as five ranks. I don't like the translation. Five ranks. It means positions. It's not hierarchy. There are five different positions. It talks about how relative and absolute interact. in different conditions. It's not like this is better from first grade to second grade. So sometimes when we practice for a while, we recognize all the changing conditions.

[48:08]

Like after we sit zazen, we step out, we recognize, oh, I have this reaction to this thing. And so I know, okay, I'm practicing. I'm aware of these things. So there's the host and guest. And at this point, you recognize that you are looking at the guest from the host position. And sometimes you are thrown in the midst of conditions, or you mingle with all the guests, and you remind yourself there's a host in this. And so in these different times, there is still a distinction between the host I'm practicing.

[49:11]

And this is my life, my conditions, and I am me. This person is aware of this, and I'm responding to this. Our practice becomes more mature. It becomes a flow. You don't distinguish. This is practice. That's my life. And you engage in the changing conditions without self-centeredness, basically. You dissolve yourself in this vast interconnectedness of all things. And you just keep You keep living.

[50:14]

And you keep living in a way that you are supporting yourself and everybody else without thinking about it. And it's called wuwei, wuwei, non-doing, non-action. It's not like I'm not doing anything. It's just I'm not doing from the self-centered point of view. And it also says wu wei or wu bu wei. There's nothing that cannot be done. So you just keep doing it, but you no longer distinguish yourself and other, you know, your practice and other things that happens in your life. I don't know if that helps. I think you're kind of saying that something... there's a shift in the relative.

[51:17]

The relative's still there, but you embrace it a lot differently. It was a different, so the host within the host. Relative, I mean, the absolute just keeps winding around the relative. I like you doing this winding around. Well, my understanding is that both Ho Hyo San Mai and Sandokai, they talk about how absolute and relative they are constantly they are not separate what separates them is our our mind life continues to live and every moment of living every expression comes from the absolute it arises it falls away arises and falls away

[52:39]

It comes from that vastness of the Tao. You might call it emptiness. And each moment is just a particular expression of it. And essentially there is no distinction. It's just It comes and it falls away. It comes and falls away. And we try, oftentimes, we try to separate this. This is a moment in my life. Different. It's separate from emptiness. It's separate from our Buddha nature. But without Buddha nature, without emptiness, this cannot be. Okay.

[53:44]

I'm not sure if you are convinced. I'm not sure either. I'm not sure if I was being a fool.

[54:00]

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