Thank you to Abbott Hossan Alan Sanaki for the invitation to speak today Karen for making the connection And of course to you all for being here My heart goes out to you and joins with you in the sadness of the recent passing of Sokinmell Weissman my or my grandfather And of course as Blake said I'm I'm Blanche's student. She's my home. She and now I said it with Vicky Austin and Gail Ronstadt and so you could say I'm in a relative's house today So we're in the same family So for the last five days Access to Zen Sangha has been and well, this is our fifth day of our session and Zazen always is and in Sashin I would say in particular is a time in which we are with the absolute

[01:07]

completely Suzuki Roshi and not always so and wherever your enlightenment is there says In our practice the most important thing is to realize that we have Buddha nature Intellectually, we may know this but it is rather difficult to accept Our everyday life is in the realm of good and bad the realm of duality What Buddha nature is found in the realm of the absolute where there is no good and no bad. There is a two-fold reality Our practice is to go beyond the realm of good and bad and to realize the absolute It may be rather difficult to understand I myself love right, but in Zen we begin knowing they were already perfect Begin with some

[02:11]

plunging you could say into the absolute and I think many of us are drawn to Zen because of the emphasis in the absolute And perhaps for many of us maybe most of us however in our daily lives Neither internally or externally does the world feel like this? So I like all of you have been in the causes and conditions that are brought about the current state of things in the United States and And so as a teacher, of course, I'm always trying to figure out what what Teaching supports us to be with what is currently And just before we went into Sashim For the weeks leading up to of course has been an increase in violence against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders

[03:12]

and They cease so hatred and violence So I Was looking for a way to how to offer some teaching that would support people And I'm pretty much been submerged in the four noble truth And so I picked one of those which I think Helps us as finding ways to respond To conditions which is skillful efforts So Just as a reminder because I'm sure you all know Eightfold path is part is the fourth of the four noble truths and It's made up of three groupings. One is what's called the wisdom grouping skillful understanding or view which is basically of the four noble truths and karma and then skillful or right Translation I go towards skillful

[04:14]

you could also say appropriate or Complete so thought then is Thinking Gil says it literally means Thought or thinking but it's a very purposive thinking which makes sense because then the wisdom aspect goes into The Classically the second aspect which is the Sila or the ethical conduct aspect. I like to say the compassionate conduct and that of course is skillful speech action and livelihood and then the third grouping is what's called the meditative or the Samadhi or the qualities of awareness I'm saying Which is skillful effort skillful mindfulness and skillful concentration So skillful effort is in the meditative aspect and a lot of time you can think of the meditative aspect as the bridge between our wisdom

[05:16]

when we understand and our intention so our understanding of the world and The values we have and how we want the aspiration of how we want to do it and then How we behave in the world a meditative practice is the bridge both to Have what we know to be true in our in our values Into our enactment and then also when we behave in a certain way or speak in a certain way or live in a certain way It also helps us when we sit down to could be the process. Is that in alignment? So To Simplify it just for the purpose of this course is this much Skillful effort then you could I would like to propose is the carefulness of how we use our life energies to respond to conditions

[06:17]

Internally like in Sashim for the most part, especially zoom Sashim much much much more internal I would hope And externally in the world The great thing I think about the a full path Is that it's very much it's very clear and it gives us both descriptors and Practices about things right? So in skillful effort It shows us four ways to apply effort to meet and be with Ourselves and our experiences and they're broken down into two categories One is what's called the negative or the unwholesome or the unskillful and then there's the positive or the skillful Sometimes I like to say useful these days. I'm also thinking maybe the holistic right or the wholesome And and they are

[07:21]

Um For and two of them are for each one is for when the negative arises What hasn't arisen yet? How can you prevent it? And If it has arisen, how do you abandon it? And then when the skillful in terms of skillful How do you cultivate it to arise and then how do you extend it when it has arisen? So notice that's PACE P-A-C-E prevent abandon cultivate and extend And um Often there are other words to use it and I Some of those are very classic and I've framed it that way because I like the word the acronym PACE because it English of course It means to do something in a slow and steady rate or speed in order to avoid

[08:22]

overexertion exerting oneself And it comes from the old French and Latin which means to stretch like that just just Take it easy and find ease in this way of behave a framework for behavior So Let's say that um because a good part of my Sangha Are made up of AAPI's not surprisingly and other people of color I Brought in the way seeking mind as a metaphor for how we can know that we are home. It's a way seeking Heart and mind towards home you could say in part, of course because of the petro foreigner Stereotype and Hatred and violence that white supremacy has placed on Asian Americans

[09:26]

So we're often asked exactly where do we come from or even told to go home? or to have a Virus Describe who we are, right? So Then I also was inspired because I'm People see this. Oh, I need to go back to myself here I'm just trying to see the gallery, but now I have to see what I'm holding up. Ah can people see that I Have arrived I am I got on calligraphy not an original. Um So this was given to me actually in a retreat a while back and I framed it and put it right by my entrance, so whenever I Go in and out. I see it And so in terms of how to work with

[10:28]

Um Pace or these four efforts, which I also thought was if we're talking about energy that works really well for retreat, right for a four-day session or five-day session and um, so in terms of how I Place that I'll say that To prevent has to do with art or an aspects of being with home of Seeking home is first we arrive Then we unpack Then we redecorate and then we settle in or relax And then because it's a five-day I'm like, oh what am I gonna do with the fifth one, right? And I thought well you've done all that then what is left living And when I think about living I will say the first thing that came up is living by vow Living by vow. This is the bodhisattva way

[11:30]

Because what is the purpose? of working all the steps of effort or going to sashimi except to learn or to Really clarify what it is to live And of course We're all going to be chanting this at the end, but the four bodhisattva vows are the most important of Zen And um You've been chanting your version because I knew this the students would be here So, um, of course beings are numberless. I vow to save them That's the San Francisco Zen Center version and yours is I vow to awaken with them, which I really like Delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them Dharma gates are boundless. I vow to enter them Buddha's way is unsurpassable I vow to become it So on this fifth day, I wanted to talk about well these vows are really vast

[12:36]

And they're really Aspiring, you know when I hear them, I want to aspire to that And yet, how are we gonna do it? How are we in this still last day of sashimi, but already some of us I'm sure are thinking How do we take this back into the world? So Also think that Being an idealist and responding to this. My thing is gonna save all beings go go go help people And I also my profession is social worker And so this sense of helping people is a huge aspiration and yet I often feel I and other social workers I know and the other people in the helping profession. We often get burned out And so today I also kind of want to frame the The skillful effort as teachings on pacing for the bodhisattva teachings on pacing for the bodhisattva Now Shalka's Alchemy and living by vow

[13:41]

This book talks about of course these four bodhisattva vows and um actually says that They are actually based on the Four Noble Truths. Imagine That's just goes perfectly with what I've been obsessed with these last few years and he says But this is the old version here, right? I Vow to enable people to be released from the truth of suffering I Vow to enable people to understand the truth of the origin of suffering. I Vow to enable people to peacefully settle down in the truth of the path leading to cessation of suffering I Vow to enable people to enter the cessation of suffering that is nirvana

[14:44]

And Of course he says that's an important thing to know because of course the Four Noble Truths are Accepted teachings in all the sects of Buddhism and are fundamental to the teachings So for me The first one is um If we are to arrive, right? Beings are numberless. I vow to awaken with them So to arrive is to be open to accepting the truth of suffering The first number truth is the heart is I'm always running away from it trying to distract myself And when we come to practice when we're ready to sit down or lie down Stand or walk as we're meditating. Um, this is that our commitment when we come to sashim is that

[15:51]

We're Committing to seeing how suffering is worthy of our undivided attention and care So Suzuki Roshi And again, not always so but in the chapter called Ordinary Mind Vida Mind The point of my talk is to give you some support for your practice There's no need for you to remember what I say If you stick to it you stick to the support not the tree itself a Tree when it is strong may still want some support. But the most important thing is the tree itself not the support. I Am one tree and each of you is a tree You should stand up by yourself

[16:55]

When a tree stands up by itself, we call that tree a Buddha In other words when you practice zazen in its true sense, you are really Buddha Sometimes we call it tree and sometimes we call it Buddha Buddha tree or you are many names of one Buddha When you sit you're independent from various beings and you're related to various beings And when you have perfect composure in your practice you include everything You are not just you you are the whole world or the whole cosmos and you are like a Buddha So when you sit you are an ordinary human and you're a Buddha Before you sit you may stick to the idea that you're ordinary So when you sit you are not the same being as you are before you sit. Do you understand? We

[17:59]

Come to practice and we we hear That we are whole and complete that we're Buddha and yet it's so hard to know that and The first day of Sashin is really hard to know that aches and pains Hindrances galore So many practice discussion is like, you know, I would say there are five of them But you usually have a favorite or maybe two and often time I hear I have them all I have them all and So it's really hard. You know, we in Zen we start out with this as a skillful means Know that this is true and yet what comes up for people is Mine mine is really painful, right? And mostly it's a

[18:59]

Offering that we're saying that your suffering is Worthy, right? And in fact, we start out I say we start out by really being with our individual Sense of that and that is in how we Located in our bodies in our posture and in our breath Just keep focusing right here. What is your experience of it? What is your experience of it because Until we and whenever I say sit down here, I do not mean that you can't have other posture of Zazen So until we sit down and make the commitment we have been running away Take me on Han says by the way And I talk about I have arrived I am home It's a song that they practice

[20:03]

It goes Or he says our practice is to always arrive in the here and now we have been running and we have not arrived We have been looking for something. We have been longing for something and we haven't found it. And so we continue to run Maybe we are looking for some conditions of happiness that we don't have Running and searching has become a habit and we are not capable of stopping We hurt Harm has happened in life And we want We want to get away from it. It's very hard for us to be with it And so we start out by offering the sunset your experience Is like Buddha in a sense that It is worthy of

[21:05]

undivided attention and That this suffering is also Similar and why it's individualistic to you It is also similar to others suffering that we all together suffer Even though yours has its own unique Footprint you could say So just really coming to admitting that it hurts And this is similar to way seeking mind talks, you know and the way we do it and I did pop in on jeans because I Know her and I'm just surprised that there was a accidental thing that I knew noticed last night I was just double-checking my intrigue today And the way we do it At Zen Center is you know, you say something about yourself

[22:07]

Your history your family and then there's a sense of how do you come to? practice And that may include other practice by that we meant to the temple or the place where you're at the song or where you're at but also perhaps other ways in which Spirituality or sense of oneness has touched you and then also perhaps what is your question? Or what is what is up for you now around practice? And um, I remember that One of my Dharma sisters said to me that the first time and she's from Back east right and one of her first time that she spoke She did way seeking mind talk someone came up to her afterwards and said Hey How come? Where is your suffering? Where is your suffering? You have not told us anything about What what you're suffering from? And the strongest sister was like I realized that I was

[23:13]

Taking Being my northeastern self right, you know, I don't suffer I just push my way through everything Okay, I effort my way through life and I don't show where my vulnerability and where it hurts And in some ways I think this is The hell is to say we are vulnerable we hurt Sometimes I like to say that When we come to practice to be a bodhisattva as you wear your heart on your On your sleeve is that the idiom right or the same you wear your heart in your sleep. We're willing to say ah I am a tender being and I feel the hurt and harm The world including my own part of the world. So this is the first day Second day we unpack

[24:15]

Exactly. What is my individual? hurts and harm Because if you've been running or turning away from it We have to get closer and closer to it so that we have a clear sense of What we're when we're knowing here Um, oh I forgot to say so the first is to arrive is to prevent So we prevent ourselves from being to the unwholesome That can arise So we focus we keep focusing on what the unwholesome is a running away in this case Next we We want to abandon the unskillful or the unwholesome that has arisen And in particular I talk about what has arisen that You want to abandon is what is extra? What we what Charlotte Joe go back would say is the false suffering

[25:19]

No, the true suffering is say you Hit your toe and it hurts and the false suffering is you said? Who put that table there? Especially if you have a roommate using why do they put it there or or I'm so stupid. I Didn't see that or I hit myself. I hit my toe So we see to the root of our delusion that There is a separateness And and that delusion is often About defining things about me Right or or the sense of self by that. It's a self can be about me or about you Me myself and I or you and yourself or us and them And that is solid and enduring So we keep saying what is extra here I

[26:22]

Remind gates delusion are inexhaustible. I vowed to end You know, I was uh, I toss a hard one now did I practice spirit there It's not his last one. This is I don't know 2003 or 4 something like that and um, I Will say um, I Also did one with Reb and I thought that that would be the hardest one Because I heard grab was so into forms, right? And even though I'm a form queen, I just thought oh, it's just gonna be really hard, right? I'm gonna get corrected left and right And then I did practice with now And it was one of the hardest practice spirits never did I And I was in the dough on Rio, right and um Two things one is that

[27:30]

so that Eno is a student from Berkeley Zen Center and no mouth for a long time So after lunch every day, right when we were doing work I'm the dough on Rio for those don't know other people hit all the bells and all the Han and and leave the ceremonies And also at lunch We use these when things called clackers to you know, say when it starts when it ends certain things And so after lunch whenever we met for many many days, um Um The Eno would say Mal told us we did the clackers wrong Right. And so we said well show us show us how you know, and then she go Next day Mal told us the clackers were wrong. Well, tell us how it is Okay Next day Mal told us the clackers were wrong

[28:36]

Well show us and then finally someone says I don't understand. I don't understand right So then the Eno was like I don't understand either And the other thing was right Now this is my take and my remembrance. So this is just to make a the point of the story I'm not saying this is a truth, right? Is that in the Reb Practice period you always knew when Reb was coming. There's a lot of Pumpkin circumstance, right? Here's my my take completely Mal Never knew when he would show up never knew So one day, you know, we're practicing the Mokugyo and he comes in And he's like, you know, like well taking a turn and he's like

[29:39]

Right, so then we're like finally show us right and so he sits down and by the way, um Greg thing was I had done when I first came to Tassajar in the summer 2002 and um, so there are two ways for those who don't know the Mokugyo. Sorry So my students don't know these things. The Mokugyo is the it's a that wooden thing looks like a fish That you hit with a padded Striker to make the sound to lead the beat for chanting. Hmm And so Greg had shown me that so they're usually two two ways of doing it to schools of doing it to styles And one is the up and down and one is the you know, the turn circle circle, right? And so what since Greg turned me I was the circle. I don't know if it's changed, but that's how right and so You know Mel was watching me, you know, and I was like using you know

[30:47]

I'm like, okay show right so he goes and he doesn't I tell you I didn't see any difference but then he finally said You don't hit the Mokugyo You don't hit the Mokugyo. It's like riding a horse right you work with the horse you just Find a rhythm that is it works with the Mokugyo So you're in relationship to it and I think this is our most serious delusion Is that we keep forgetting that we're in relationship with things with objects with our emotions with our suffering with our lives and others lives, of course So the extra is the separation Dharma gates are boundless. I vowed to enter them

[31:48]

So Shohaka Okamura says that actually These are different orders than the four noble truths here This is actually talking about the fourth noble truth. Where's the first two talk about first and second So The fourth noble truth, of course is the path Right all those things I named off in the beginning the three sections So they're the Dharma gates And then our Practice this week. So then it's day four technically it's settling in So again, the Eightfold Path gives us Descriptors and practices for how to settle into our life in a way that can reduce Suffering or in and in service of the ending of suffering And

[32:51]

I'm at this point. I don't think I need to go through the whole thing. You all have a sense of it already And so day three is Course the last line Buddha's way is unsurpassable. I vowed to become it Our Fourth line is really the third of the fourth noble true truth, which is that the cessation Is possible or in my case? I have been reframing the four noble truths to be what I call much more engaged And and in a very much a restorative way So in this model it being restorative the first number tooth again because my experience is very hard to admit Is that hurt and harm is? part of life Not just that just a little bit more clear right in a second. But what are the causes and conditions? That are the root of suffering and the emphasis is much more on the

[33:55]

Conditions in the sense of what are the systemic? aspects Where the systemic aspects and also in that these are ways that I've learned To react to suffering my suffering is the ways I've learned as What is worthy of my attention of suffering and how am I supposed to respond to? For instance racism We're all taught what deserves our attention of who in the Schema of race and white supremacy is worthy of attention and how what kind of attention And whether their suffering is worthy of our attention or not and to what degree? We're taught explicitly or implicitly our location in the system of white supremacy

[34:56]

And we wake up to knowing But yes, why that construct are really very clearly how we're all Conditioned taught by family culture systems of oppression So Buddha's way is to redecorate In the sense of the third notebook truth is then that it's possible and in this framing of the engage that is possible to Know that I have agency That I'm can unlearn or relearn what I've been taught and that all of us then Can do that and in fact have the Responsibility and I think that's part of practice we come and what is healing to us is that we so oh

[36:04]

Wow, I had that belief that led me to act that way or speak that way or behave or live my life that way And here's a chance for me to say. Oh Does it fit me anymore? Does this house that has been built that I'm told that I should inhabit? Or that has confined me Perhaps locked me in even though it was supposedly for my safety or I am told that's for my safety Or lock others out Then I'm told it was for my safety Is that true? Now and is it the way I Want my life to be is this the habitat? I want to be Is my habitat now open and free and have I'm I'm willing to have new things Or to redecorate

[37:05]

To see what is extra here that needs to not be here to see what is it that I want to bring in So it's to cultivate Much more clearly what is important to me and it's in alignment with my values now and that and the One more value I say or the main value of Buddhism, of course, it's non-harming What here is non-harming? So to know wise men be yourself completely or to says She can Taza means just doing And this was the practice of Suzuki Roshi and his lineage just doing When we sit Sazen when we sit in meditation it is just doing We don't sit meditation in order to get something We don't sit in order to accomplish good health or to make us more intelligent or to gain some kind of advantage

[38:09]

When we sit we just sit Sitting is just sitting in the same way eating is just eating and walking is just walking So it's a sheen that's what we're doing one thing at a time clearly In our busy life, we have many goals. So we forget just walking just eating just sitting and so on When we bring just sitting into our daily life in the midst of our life based on accomplishment So we can be completely whole in our activity. This is Sazen In Zen we are always dealing with the absolute side of our nature and the relative side of our nature and How to make ourselves whole all one To resume our original nature, which is not dual So to me This Is how we can

[39:10]

Take what we've learned in Sazen. I'm speaking much more to the students now about skillful effort and the last is to extend How are we going to extend what we've learned about The last four days and one more day That work everything that's happening is Wholeness and completeness Doesn't mean that there is no you in that and that there isn't an individualness and a uniqueness to your experience and How is it that it's being held By the unity of us all not that we're all the same. Let me be very clear and the familiarity Similarity of our experiences is the unity Not the specificity

[40:13]

Or as Suzuki Roshi would say In a couple more paragraphs from that ordinary mind Buddha mind You may say that it's not possible to be ordinary and holy When you think this way your understanding is one-sided In Japanese, we call someone who understand things from just one side a tamban-kan Someone who carries a board on his shoulder Because you carry a big board on your shoulder. You cannot see the other side You think you are just an ordinary human, but if you take the board off you will understand. Oh I am Buddha too How can I be both Buddha and an ordinary human? It is amazing That is enlightenment When you experience enlightenment you will understand things more freely won't mind whatever people call you

[41:19]

Ordinary mind. Okay. I am ordinary mind Buddha. Yes. I am Buddha How do I come to be both Buddha and ordinary mind, I don't know but actually I am Buddha and ordinary mind Buddha in his true sense is not different from ordinary mind An ordinary mind is not something apart from what is holy This is a complete understanding of ourself When we practice zazen with this understanding that is true zazen We will not be bothered by anything Whatever you hear, whatever you see will be okay To have this feeling it's necessary To become accustomed to our practice If you keep practicing you will naturally have this understanding and this feeling It will not be just intellectual you will have the actual feeling

[42:24]

Thank you very much for your attention Reverend Leanne yes, we have Perhaps there was a scheduling thing, but we do have 15 minutes for Q&A. Would you like to do that? Oh, yeah, sure But I just thought we'd chant for first also because I want my students not to stay for the Q&A and they need wonderful good sangha everybody We will begin chanting as soon as soon as Ross plumb the dough on Does the clunk in Reverend Leanne puts her hand in gosh? Oh, and then we will do the clunk and then we will chant the The vows of four vows one time through and I invite everybody to unmute yourself And we can all do our best to stay in time with each other. I will post the vows in the

[43:28]

In the chat right Now and then once again, I'm sorry to repeat myself, but I'm trying to be inclusive and clear We'll Reverend Leanne put her hands in gosh. Oh, and then we will go ahead and Listen for that clunk my students are allowed to chant this I Wonderful, thank you. I invite everybody to mute themselves except for Reverend Leanne and

[44:47]

For those in session or need to go please do that and then we will do Q&A for 15 minutes if that sounds good to people So if you have a question And I want to thank as they leave and you can pass on the word I want to thank people who rarely are here for coming to our Zendo and for those Who rarely come or here just happen to come into the gate. I want to welcome you as well So we'll do some Q&A and Please raise your raise your digital hand and I will call on you and Please ask a direct question There are people and so so we provide space so leave space for others as well You're please raise your digital hand and I'll call on you See a human hand, okay

[45:50]

Let me put the speaker. You're still spotlighted or maybe I should just go ahead and do this and Raise a raise of a of a human being hand anybody, okay Hosan, please. Just give me a second so that I can spotlight you as well. And that's for everybody Just give us a second so we can spot by both And you're on Thank you, thank you speak a human hand. So I hope Thank you so much Leanne for very fine and challenging talk. I wanted to To just share with you very briefly a gloss on the first Bodhisattva vow that has been really essential to me. I've spoken of it a lot. It's from the platform sutra where the sixth ancestor is version of the of that vow is

[46:53]

Sentient beings of my mind are numberless. I vowed to save them all and That really opened that really opened the door for me in thinking about First of all how to meet the suffering that I experience And the various beings of my mind and then to also recognize that Other beings as well are beings of my mind. So I just wanted to share with you. It's it's There's a whole ordination ceremony as you probably know in the in the platform sutra and It really looks at things Just in a very useful very useful angle. So I just wanted to share that Yeah Can I push back a little Of course

[47:57]

Um You know that I will say that um It's probably well Most of you probably don't know but I actually um do combine Insight practices and Zen Because to me Suffering and How to support people to work with suffering as People experience that's very concrete suffering That is the interaction between themselves and What act objects in the world and people in the world That I think it's That's where I spend most of my time I Invite Bob McKinnon to lower your hand unmute yourself and ask a question

[49:06]

Hi, thank you so much And One of the questions I had was You're speaking about duality and And then you mentioned how we add Something on something to the fact we add on to our suffering and In terms of You know You're talking about white supremacy and And how you know how they must I assume that they must be suffering too to lash out and How that how you see that cycle How that manifests states itself And

[50:13]

in terms of duality And And how they add extra to their suffering Well, I'm sorry Well first I would say that we all Extra are suffering and so one way as Charlotte Joko back frames it Through suffering things that happen in life and then We all have false suffering so suffering for us it's a dualistic and So We all have Extra suffering and that's what we're well in essence. We're practicing to see What is the the clear is and the the one that needs the most attending to at this point? I think for me. I'm always finding out. Oh without that's extra to to the suffering

[51:16]

Oh, that's extra to to the suffering right and I and so in essence The extra is not so much Well many of us experiences. What is the extra? Oftentimes the extra is just the lack of this right It's just the lack of this and then and then to be more Practical This is why to me the second of a truce the way that I'm framing it as a way to to to work with not not I'm Trust me. I do not think right that I'm like saying now This is what the four noble truths really are. I'm not saying that in any way Right, but to me what's useful to understand it is that we all are conditioned To think about things one in a dualistic way and the flavor of our dualism is Dependent on the conditions we are raised in

[52:18]

so as a person of color I am raised in a different condition than you are raised in and what really matters our Condition and by that I don't just mean our surroundings. So that's huge. Our surrounding is huge and The things that we taught in bigger and bigger surroundings And so the other thing is that for instance, I my partner's Father just died. And so I was in Tampa where they're pretty lax about kovat and um You know and someone even got mad at me for putting up You know, we're passing on the path and I went to put up my mask and step over so we you know Keep six foot apart and they were like you think that will protect you, right? And I was like, wow, you know, I'm the one mad at people not wearing masks, right? So one I was like, oh, wait a minute. I had a moment where I Could understand I could get close to that their anger

[53:18]

Not that I believe in that mind you and you know But it showed me that for one thing and then two I will tell you you're over there. I'm home month to support my Partner, it's a very complex Relationship with her father and he died very suddenly so there was a lot to take care of so, you know and it's very intense time and So like we were thinking. Oh We'd love to go see a movie do something right and they allow you to go in the theater Right, and so we are like should we go and then we're like what what? Why would he even think of that right but at first it's like Oh Possibility right and that desire for wanting to go like going to the movies one my all-time favorite things to do in fact, you know my first summer at us are I was like I Have found my people Because at lunch we either were talking about Buddhist things or we were talking about some new movie someone who on their day off had gone to see and you know

[54:24]

I came back to tell us all this is summer, right? So, um So it was just a very clear sense of being conditioned by the environment No matter what my beliefs are and this is why it's an endless delusions are endless and it takes carefulness of attention and Stick to itness of the clarity of our purpose and intention Answer your question Yes, thank you I Have one question in the chat that I'd like to get to if that's okay with you. Yes, of course How do you understand I'll read it twice. How do you understand just sitting in the context of the conversation on being? careful in meditation instruction on being with traumatic experiences Especially systemic oppression how much is enough?

[55:25]

How do you understand just sitting in the context of the conversation of being careful in meditation practice on being with traumatic? experiences Especially systemic oppression how much is enough? Okay, well I'm not a hundred percent sure I understand the question so let me make a stab and see um Well, first of all We think of So there's a couple ways to think about just sitting. So just sitting is a sense of our completeness As we take the position, right? This posture itself is Buddha right to know the completeness of Ourself Which includes the completeness of our experience in this moment be it mind emotion or sensation and so when you have traumatic responses the

[56:29]

Reaction often very much bodily is very strong so in some ways why meditation and mindfulness in particular has become very useful is that it helps us to have a much more Flexible sense of our window of tolerance and and so in our practice an essence in our practice is we you're regardless of Traumatic trauma is that we're here to just stay with how things are and especially During a retreat we start to see that what I'm capable of Right, it's much more not just bigger but also just much more flexible And so in Sashin, you know, we often are much more sensitive and so things reverberate more But then we also bounce back easier. We have that's that's the stability that comes from just sitting It isn't like

[57:33]

Like, you know just sitting in and like so just sitting is actually like rising and falling coming and going not By that I don't mean that's what we're thinking all the time. But this is our experience And of course we have to have tools for how to work with that one that's not Easy to know and so then perhaps if I understand the question correctly then the when there is trauma Um, then it's about holding Giving more space to How even not even how bodily and emotionally you can be more flexible to hold what's going on that to be Immobile or to be that still point isn't necessary about holding still And to care what is the tending to that in essence has a wider birth

[58:35]

for instance and part is because it's online In large part, right obviously and my song goes small People don't know how to do oriole game for the most part, right? So we sit for 45 minutes and we walk for 45, which is very fair one You know, and I actually had somebody who's like, uh, right. What is this? What is this? and part of it is again that this the sense that I'm talking about and You know like at City Center or Zen Center we do yoga now Right us because we know that we need to stretch and move some because it's it's been It's really hard on the body, but you can't do yoga online I mean, of course you could say do this but so much as dependent on yoga You know And I know this from Vicki is you know, Vicki comes and she just moves you you feel like a millimeter and often you're like All right, it feels better or I understand what she means right but you can't do that online

[59:41]

right, and so I'm not going to do some kind of body practice to support people because I can't really Help them negotiate it and since we we do hurt more and things are Harder to be with you know, our knees hurt or back hurt other parts are tight It doesn't make sense to have and so then the walks are longer so that the body has a chance to really move Does that answer the question?

[60:14]

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