Good morning. So this morning we're happy to have the opportunity to hear a talk by Meiko Anza. He last Monday received a new green raksu and lay entrustment, which is a kind of verification of his ability to share the Dharma with us. He is a father. He's a Qigong teacher. too young to retire, but that's the reality of it.

[01:05]

We look forward to hearing your words. Thank you, Alvin. We chant an unsurpassed, penetrating, perfect dharma is rarely met with. That can be misleading. Master Tung Kuo asked Zhuangzi, this thing called the way, Where does it exist? And Zhuangzi said, there's no place it doesn't exist. Oh, come on, says Master Tomoko, you have to be more specific. Well, it's in the ant. As low a thing as that, it's in the panic grass. But that's lower still. It's in the tiles and shards. How can it be so low? It's in the piss and shit. Master Tong Kuo made no reply.

[02:10]

The problem is not that the Dharma is rare. The problem is our meeting it is rare. It's there all the time, everywhere. Everything is preaching the Dharma. But how do we hear it? And Chuang Tzu has some advice for us. He says, But don't listen with your ears, listen with your mind. No, no, don't listen with your mind. Listen with your spirit. Listening stops with the ears, the mind stops with recognition, but spirit is empty and waits on all things. My talk this morning is mostly going to be about Not about, but the words of Zhuangzi. I'm donating this book, which is the complete writings of Zhuangzi, to the library so it will be available for people. There's three translations.

[03:12]

The Burton Watson, which I really like a lot, an older one by Legge and one by Martin Palmer, which is probably more correct, but doesn't have some of the poetry of the Watson. Chuang-Tzu was writing about 325 B.C. or so. So he was one of the three Daoist, founding Daoist philosophers, along with Lao-Tzu and Lie-Tzu. And Chuang-Tzu is the only one of those three that we know was a real person. We're not always sure exactly how much of this he wrote, but we know he wrote a good chunk of it. And a lot of Zen, when it came to China, was rooted in Daoism. And as you read Zhuangzi, you just say, that's Zen.

[04:16]

But it was about 600 years before Zen came to China. And I guess it would have been about the same time that Buddhism was percolating in India. But as far as we know, there was no connection between the two. So this lecture is going to be a kind of introduction to Chuang-Tzu. There's a lot more than what's in this lecture, but I've taken quotes from here and there and tried to assemble them into a narrative for you, which gives you an introduction. And it's also a kind of response to some questions a few of you have been asking me. I went on a six or seven week solitary retreat, hiking by myself in the deserts and canyons of the southwest in October and November. And some of you have asked me what that experience was like.

[05:20]

And some of you have asked me what it's like to have a green rakasu or be teaching. And I think I can summarize it in just a few words. Centering, but not centering on something separate. And not with effort, but just naturally. Just natural. And when you center just naturally, Dayenu, it's sufficient. It's enough. I sometimes get concerned that when we talk about practice here, it can be misunderstood as something that you have to do to make yourself good and to create some admirable life.

[06:31]

And Chuang-Tzu says, all attempts to create something admirable are the weapons of evil. You may think you are practicing benevolence and righteousness, but in effect you'll be creating a kind of artificiality. Where a model exists, copies will be made of it. If you fashion pecks and bushels for people to measure by, they'll steal by pecks and bushels. fasten benevolence and righteousness to reform people, they'll steal with benevolence and righteousness. And then, although the whole world joins in rewarding good people, there will never be enough reward. Though the whole world joins in punishing evil people, there will never be enough punishment. Huge as the world is, it cannot supply sufficient reward or punishment. Our practice takes place on a field, we say, far beyond form and emptiness, which is true, far beyond praise and punishment.

[07:37]

But as humans, we tend to be anchored in praise and punishment. In a time of perfect virtue, the gait of men is slow and ambling, their gaze is steady and mild. In such an age, mountains have no paths or trails. lakes, no boats or bridges. The ten thousand things live species by species, one group settled close to another. And then, along comes the sage, huffing and puffing after the Netherlands, reaching on tiptoe for righteousness, and the world for the first time has doubts, mooning and mouthing over the music of sniffing and stitching away at rice, and the world for the first time is divided. There's problems when the forms which originally evolved as a good way of helping us become ossified into rules that we try to follow and become overly attached to.

[08:50]

Whether those rules are the precepts or the forms If they're not ours to our bones, it's a problem. The six classics are the old, worn-out paths of the former kings. They're not the thing which walked the path. A road is made by people walking on it. paths are made by shoes that walk them, they are by no means the shoes themselves. So, cudgel and cane the sages, let the thieves and bandits go their way, and then the world will at last be well ordered. If the stream dries up, the valley will be empty. If the hills wash away, the deep pools will be filled up. And if the sage is dead and gone, then no more great thieves will arise. The world will then be peaceful and free of fuss.

[09:55]

But until the sage is dead, great thieves will never cease to appear." Buddha's a great thief. And I mean that by really good thief, you know. Robin Hood. We say, you know, if you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him. We don't say that so much here. See, the problem with sages is they think they know what the way is, and then they feel, maybe out of a sense of benevolence, they should instruct others. But, Zhuangzi says, the perfect person of ancient times made sure he had it in himself before he tried to give it to others. When you're not even sure what you've got in yourself, how do you have time to bother about what some tyrant is doing? whether it's Bush or Obama, doesn't matter.

[11:01]

How many of us are really sure what we've got in ourselves? In an age of perfect virtue, the worthy are not honored, the talented are not employed. Rulers are like the high branches of a tree, the people like the deer of the fields. They do what is right, But they do not know that this is righteousness. They love one another, but they do not know that it's benevolence. They're true-hearted, but don't know that it's loyalty. Trustworthy, but don't know that it's good faith. If you act worthily, but you rid yourself of the awareness that you are acting worthily, then where can you go that you will not be loved? Very nice line. The time came when virtue began to dwindle and decline, and then Sui Gen and Fu Shi, two people, stepped forward to take charge of the world, and as a result, there was compliance, but no longer any unity.

[12:07]

When are we complying? And when are we expressing our true selves? By the truth, I mean purity and sincerity in their highest degree, One who lacks purity and sincerity cannot move others. So somebody who forces himself to lament, though he may sound sad, will awaken no grief in others. Someone who forces herself to be affectionate, though she may smile, will create no air of harmony. True sadness need make no sound to awaken grief. True affection need not smile to create harmony. Because right and wrong appeared, the way was injured. And because the way was injured, love became complete. That's not such an easy sentence to understand. It's a koan, which may become clearer as we go along. I don't think I'm going to try to explain it. The problem is, when we plunge into our ideas of what's right and wrong, what's good and bad, we want to control things.

[13:17]

We want them to come out right. If we care for somebody, we want things to be good for them. But we can become alienated from what's natural, even as we profess our love for it. Horses' hooves are made for treading frost and snow, their coats for keeping out wind and cold, to munch grass, drink from the stream, lift up their feet and gallop. This is the true nature of horses. And then along comes Polo, famous equestrian. I'm good at handling horses, he announces. I love working with them. And he proceeds to singe them, shave them, pair them, brand them, bind them with cruppers, tie them up in stables, and by this time two or three out of ten horses have died. He goes on to starve them, make them go thirsty, race them, prance them, push them into bits and reins, uses whips and crops, and by this time over half the horses have died.

[14:22]

When horses live on the plain, they eat grass, they drink from streams, fleas, they twine their necks together and rub. Angry, they turn back and kick. That's all horses know how to do. But if you put piles and yokes on them, wind them up in crossbars and shafts, they'll learn to snap the crossbars, break the yokes, Champ the bit. Commit the worst kinds of mischief. This is the crime of Polo. To summarize that, Joe of the North Sea said, Horses and oxen have four feet. This is what I mean by the heavenly. Putting a halter on the horse's head, piercing the ox's nose, this is what I mean by the human. Do not let what is human wipe out what's heavenly. Do not let what is purposeful wipe out what's fated. Be cautious, be guard it the way, and do not lose it.

[15:29]

This is what I mean by returning to the truth. Humans put halters not only on horses, but on ourselves. I was driving back from my trek and I saw this little sign for a wildlife refuge. Tiny little plot of land in the middle of all this building and cultivation and I thought, wow, so nature is supposed to restrict itself to this half acre. Daoism is basically insist that we need to follow nature and not the other way around. But we put halters on ourselves. At one point, Su Kung is traveling along and he sees a gardener or farmer taking a pitcher and bringing water from one place to another.

[16:35]

And he says, wow, you're working awfully hard. You know, there's a machine for that. you shape the wood and then it goes like this and boy it can pour out the water so fast you can do a whole field in just an hour and the gardener flushes with anger and then he laughs and he says oh yeah I've heard about that but you know my teacher says where there are machines there are bound to be machine worries where there are machine worries there are bound to be machine hearts. With a machine heart in your breast, you've spoiled what was pure and simple. And without the pure and simple, the life of the spirit knows no rest. Where the life of the spirit knows no rest, the way will cease to buoy you up. It's not that I don't know about your machine, it's just that I'd be ashamed to use it. Pretty radical statement.

[17:39]

And I must confess, I kind of like running water when I turn on the tap. Although, you know, when you're out hiking along, you go, well, you have to find the stream and you can't bike straight. Machines are attempts to improve our productivity, which is kind of the god of current economies. But we also have to be careful that striving after adherence to moral code, to a certain way of practice, improving our abilities can be an attempt to create a kind of spiritual productivity, which can confuse us and distract us. Oh, why all these deep sighs, this talk of benevolence and piety? Piety, brotherliness, benevolence, righteousness, loyalty, trust, honor, integrity, for all of those you have to drive yourself and make a slave of virtue. They're not worth prizing. A mosquito or a horsefly stinging your skin can keep you awake a whole night.

[18:43]

And when benevolence and righteousness and all their fearfulness come to muddle the mind, the confusion is unimaginable. Nobody understands. Nobody comprehends. So who can give help to anyone else? The clever man wears himself out. The wise woman worries. But the person of no ability has nothing he or she seeks. He eats his fill, wanders idly about, drifting like an unmoored boat. Emptily and idly he wanders along. In Tozan's Five Ranks we talk about the foolish old person filling up the silver bowl with snow. Daoism is founded in the idea of wu-wei, Doing, not doing. Engaging fully in an activity, but not doing it for anything other than the activity itself.

[19:45]

King Wen was seeing the sights at Cang when he spied an old man fishing. But his fishing wasn't really fishing, because he didn't fish as though he were fishing for anything, but just as though it was his constant occupation to fish. We talk about doing zazen without doing it for anything. We talk a lot about practice, but I think we need to talk more about practice, not practicing. Just as we talk about thinking, not thinking. Another example, one of Zhuangzi's friends comes across a fellow swimming, asks him about his way, and the swimmer says, I have no way. I began with what I was used to, I grew up with my nature, and I let things come to completion with fate. I go under with the swirls. We all know what that's like. I come out with the eddies, following along the way the water goes and never thinking about myself. That's how I can stay afloat.

[20:48]

Just stay afloat. Useless. Useless activity. Zhuangzi goes into a village and he sees this beautiful tree. And he says to the villager, wow, what a wonderful tree. It's old, it's beautiful. The villager goes, ah, it's worthless. You burn it, it sticks. You try and build with it, it cracks. You make furniture out of it, it warps. It's worthless. And Charles looks at him and says, hmm, sounds like it could have been worth something. If it had been useful, you might have cut it down a long time ago. I was worried about retiring and not being useful. While I was on my trek, the only thing I was reading was the Chuang-Tzu and re-reading it. It's really nice to be useless.

[21:54]

Any of you who are parents here, at a certain point, Very important for your kids to let you know how useless you are. So, the idea is not skill, but uselessness, because the fact is, knowledge is limited. Knowledge won't get you there. Calculate what humans know, it can't compare to what they don't know. Calculate the time you're alive and can't compare to the time before you were born and after you'll die yet people take something so small and Try to exhaust the dimensions of something so large To be limited to understanding only what's understood This is shallow indeed Well if we let go of understanding What do we do?

[22:58]

Discard little wisdom, great wisdom will become clear. Discard goodness, goodness will come of itself. If a man follows the mind given him and makes it his teacher, then who can be without a teacher? Why must you comprehend the process of change and form your mind on that basis before you can have a teacher? Bala Trangsu uses the masculine pronoun, and I'll try and go back and forth, but that's the way it was in those days. The point is, the natural mind doesn't force anything, it doesn't have to understand something, because it's not involved with intentional doing, but with spontaneous being. Trangsu says, the murmuring of the water is its natural talent, not something it does deliberately. And the perfect person stands in the same relationship to virtue without cultivating it.

[24:02]

It's as natural as the height of heaven, the depth of earth, brightness of sun and moon. What is there to be cultivated? It's the nature of water that if it's not mixed with other things, it will be clear. And if nothing stirs it, it will be level. But if it's dammed and hemmed in and not allowed to flow, then it, too, will cease to be clear. You know we're mostly water How clear are we? The way doesn't want to be obstructed for if there's obstruction there's choking if the choking doesn't cease there's disorder which harms the life of all creatures All things that have consciousness depend upon breath But if they don't get their fill of breath. It's not the fault of heaven Heaven opens up the passages supplies them day and night without stop but man on the contrary is blocks up the holes. We all block up the holes in various ways when we get in the way of the flow.

[25:06]

Striving for intellectual understanding, clinging to practices we force ourselves to follow rather than make our own. These are inimical to the Taoist way, I think to the Buddhist way. Only when there's no pondering and no cogitation will you get to know the way. Only when you have no surroundings and you follow no practices will you find rest in the way. Only when there's no path and no procedure can you get to the way. Just leap into the boundless and make it your home. Over the last few years, I find in the Sangha we talk a lot about practicing and putting forth the right effort, which is good. But in previous years, I've heard more talk about letting go.

[26:08]

I remember being in a Sesshin once, and in the middle of the third or fourth day of Sesshin, and everyone's kind of struggling, I remember hearing Sojin's voice going, just let go completely. I think it's good to bring back that sense of letting go. It's a good way of approaching Zazen. But, letting go is not so easy. Because we tend to block up the holes with self-consciousness. Our ego, not selfishness, but just the delusion that we actually exist as separate beings. We go around telling each other, I do this, I do that, but how do we know that this I we talk about has any I to it?

[27:09]

You dream you're a bird and soar up into the sky, you dream you're a fish and dive down into the pool, but now when you tell me about it, I don't know whether you're awake or whether you're dreaming. There's a famous section in Chuang Tzu about someone who dreams they're a butterfly and then they wake up and they're not sure whether they're a butterfly dreaming they're a person. Running around accusing others, not as good as laughing. Enjoying a good laugh, not as good as going along with things. Just be content to go along, move with the freedom of the wind. Stand in the perfection of virtue. Why all this huffing and puffing as though you were carrying a big drum and searching for a lost child? The snow goose needs no daily bath to stay white. The crow needs no daily inking to stay black. And you don't need to do any daily anything to be fully yourself.

[28:11]

But we mistrust ourselves. we feel we have to do something and throughout the trance people are saying, what do I do? and he says, well if you must do something just cultivate the sincerity which is in your breast and use it to respond without opposition to the true form of heaven and earth crooked or straight pursue to the limit heaven in you turn your face to the four directions ebb and flow with the seasons right or wrong Hold fast to the round center upon which all turns. Ramble in the company of the Way. Don't strive to make your conduct consistent. Don't try to perfect your righteousness, or you will lose what you already have. My definition of expertness has nothing to do with benevolence or righteousness. It means following the true form of your inborn nature, that's all. So when I speak of good hearing, I don't mean listening to others. I mean simply listening to yourself.

[29:16]

When I speak of good eyesight, I don't mean looking at others, I mean simply looking at yourself. I have a sense of shame before the Way and its virtue, and for that reason I don't venture to raise myself up in deeds of benevolence and righteousness, or lower myself in deluded and perverse practices. Wu-Wei is not in between good and bad, righteousness and perversity, it's not doing, so it has to start with stillness. Cloud Chief says, Heavenly Master, hard for me to meet with you, please a word of instruction. Well then, mind nourishment, said Big Concealment. You have only to rest in inaction, and things will transform themselves. Heaven and earth do nothing, and there's nothing that's not done.

[30:20]

Oh, it's hard to make you understand. Once there was a man who was afraid of his shadow and hated his footprints. He tried to get away from them by running. But the more he lifted his feet and put them down again, the more footprints he made. And no matter how fast he ran, his shadow never left him, and so Thinking he was still going too slowly he ran faster and faster without a stop until his strength gave out and he fell down dead. He didn't understand that by lulling in the shade he could have gotten rid of the shadow. By resting in quietude he could have put an end to his footprints. How could he have been so stupid? The way cannot be brought to light. Its virtue can't be forced to come. One who practices the Way does less every day, does less and goes on doing less, until reaching the point where he does nothing, yet there's nothing that's not done. Can you be brisk and unflagging?

[31:22]

Can you be rude and unwitting? Can you be a little baby? The baby howls all day, yet his throat never gets hoarse. Harmony at its height. Just go along with things. Let your mind move freely. Resign yourself to what cannot be avoided. Nourish what's within you. That's best. What more do you have to do to fulfill your mission? What should you do? What should you not do? Everything will change of itself. That's certain. We talk about impermanence, but you know, we don't really like change. It takes away our sense of power and agency, and the world moves along rather indifferent to our personal preferences. The seasons have their end and beginning, the ages their changes and transformations, bad fortune good, tripping and tumbling, come now with what repels you, now with what you welcome.

[32:27]

Set in your own opinion, at odds with others, Now you judge things to be upright. Now you judge them to be warped. But if you could only be like the great swamp which finds accommodation for a hundred different timbers. A kind of interesting goal for practice is to be a great swamp. Boggy. Kind of sticky. You know, the bubbles rise up and it smells. The problem is we like some things, we don't like other things, and we get caught, as Tromso says. You know, it's easy to be indifferent to the afflictions of heaven. Well, I don't know how easy that is, but... Easy to be indifferent to the afflictions of heaven, but it's hard to be indifferent to the benefits of man. If you hope to get a man, cage him with what he likes. Well, this is what we mean in Buddhism when we talk about suffering through lies and desire.

[33:35]

And then we have a problem, says Zhuangzi. You know, if you try to fulfill all your appetites and desires and indulge your likes and dislikes, you'll bring affliction to your true form of your inborn nature and fate. On the other hand, if you try to deny your appetites and desires and forcibly change your likes and dislikes, you bring affliction to your ears and eyes. You know, if you can't overcome your inclination and you try to force yourself not to follow them, you do a double injury to yourself. Well, says the Lord of the River, but then what should I do? What should I not do? How do I know what to accept, what to reject, what to abide by, and what to discard? And the Lord of the North Sea says, well, you know, from the point of view of the way, things have no nobility and no meanness. On the other hand, from the point of view of things themselves, each regards itself as noble and other things as mean. From the point of view of preference, if we regard something as right because there's a certain rightness to it, among the ten thousand things there's nothing that's not right.

[34:49]

If we regard something as wrong because there's a certain wrongness to it, Among the 10,000 things, there's none that are not wrong. The fact is, everything has its that, everything has its this. A state in which this and that no longer find their opposites is called the hinge of the way. When the hinge is fitted into the socket, it can respond endlessly. Its right is then a single endlessness, and its wrong, too, is a single endlessness. So the best thing to use is clarity. Be clear, worth lies within yourself. No external shift will cause it to be lost. Beasts that feed on grass don't fret over a change of pasture. Creatures that live in water don't fret over a change of stream. They accept the minor shift as long as the all-important constant is not lost. Be like them and just find the same joy in one condition as in the other.

[35:52]

Be free of care, that's all. But now, when things that have happened along take their leave, you cease to be joyful. And from this point of view, though you have joy, it will always be fated for destruction. We have troubles accepting the process of change, let's face it, and we're rather like Zhuangzi's depiction of Confucius saying, you know, for a long time now I haven't been taking my place as a man along with the process of change. But if I don't take my own place as a man along with the process of change, how can I hope to change anyone else? So, an example of a maybe better attitude is Uncle Lachlan in Lane Gate. They're seeing the sights and suddenly a willow sprouts out of Uncle Lane Gate's left elbow. He looked very startled and seemed to be annoyed. Do you resent it?" said Uncle Lacklim. Well, no.

[36:54]

What's there to resent? To live is to borrow. Life and death are day and night. You and I came to watch the process of change, and now change has caught up with me. Why would I have anything to resent? So the key? Mysteriously, wonderfully, I bid farewell to what goes. I greet what comes. For what comes cannot be denied, and what goes cannot be detained. There's nothing that's not so, nothing that's not acceptable. And this next phrase I really repeat to myself, there's nothing that heaven doesn't cover, and nothing that earth doesn't bear up. So just don't get in the way of the way flowing. Embody to the fullest what has no end, Wander where there's no trail. Don't go in and hide. Don't come out and shine. Stand stuck still in the middle.

[37:57]

Hold on to all you've received from heaven, but don't think you've gotten anything. Just be empty. And when we can harmonize with the way in this fashion, we become natural. This was the true person of old. Her bearing was lofty and did not crumble. She was vast in her emptiness, but not ostentatious. Mild and cheerful, she seemed to be happy. Reluctant, she couldn't help doing certain things. Annoyed, she let it show in her face. Relaxed, she rested in virtue. Tolerant, she seemed to be part of the world. Towering alone, she could be checked by nothing. Withdrawn, she seemed to cut herself off and be mused. She forgot what she was going to say. Very natural. And when we're natural, it leads to a sense of acceptance where everything is sufficient in itself. Human and sacred, many in one, harmonize.

[39:00]

Dayeno, it's sufficient. Thus, if there's enough, the true person doesn't scramble for more. Having no reason to, he seeks nothing. But if there's not enough, he seeks. scrambling in all four directions, but he doesn't think of himself as greedy. If there's a surplus, he gives it away. The people of ancient times who had attained the Way were happy if they were blocked in, and happy if they could get through. It wasn't the fact that they were blocked or not that made them happy. As long as you've really gotten hold of the Way, being blocked or getting through, It's no more than the orderly alternation of cold and heat, wind and rain. Therefore, his liking was one and his not liking was one. His being one was one, and his not being one was one. In being one, he was acting as a companion of heaven, and in not being one, he was acting as a companion of man.

[40:04]

And when man and heaven do not defeat each other, then we may be said to have the true person. To conclude, the mountains and forests, the hills and fields at this point fill us with overflowing delight and we are joyful. Our joy has not ended when grief comes trailing it. We have no way to bar the arrival of grief and joy, no way to prevent them from departing, Joy, anger, grief, delight, worry, regret, fickleness, inflexibility, modesty, willfulness, candor, insolence, music from empty holes, mushrooms springing up in dampness, day and night replacing each other before us and no one knows where they sprout from. Let it be. Let it be. It's enough that morning and evening we have them, and they are the means by which we live.

[41:09]

Maybe you have some questions. Listening to your talk, I want to say something out of talk in a way that we usually don't Anyway, I got exasperated. Because there were so many quotations and so many explanations and it just wouldn't stop. I couldn't even pay attention after a while. So I wanted to ask you if you could just take one thing and show us how it actually lives in your daily walking on that edge of your life, your practice. Don't try.

[42:19]

That's advice. How do I do it? I don't know. I'd like you to share how that vibrates or how it's difficult or easy or whatever in life? Cut with the exposition. Cut with the exposition? Yeah. Cut with the exposition, Bob. Tell us how you feel. Keeps changing. No, no. I like tasting everything that comes to me. What do you taste now? I'm tasting feeling of being pinned down a little bit. But I'm kind of enjoying it. Just don't work so hard.

[43:25]

Don't try and understand. If you felt buzzed out by this, I'm sorry. Once again, you're telling us. I'm asking you about how you were feeling. I don't want to hear from you how you think I should feel or what I should do. Generally, I've been happier than I've ever been in my whole life. All the time. Even when I'm not happy. No, I'm serious. It's just that it feels like there's nothing I have to do and that's wonderful. And frankly, whether it's Qigong or Buddhism or going to the Exploratorium or I'm dealing with my daughter's getting married, which I'm really having a hard time with.

[44:34]

She's gonna leave me. It's a big river and I was talking to Mel about this and I said, you know, I don't understand anything. Which I really feel, and he looked at me and he said, you're so lucky. Does that respond? Does that answer? Again, I'm just asking for you to express yourself. You know, I worried a long time about expressing myself and I often gave a lot of talks and I'd really work on the talks and worry about expressing myself. It was really freeing to read somebody else's words, which actually feel like mine.

[45:39]

He just says it better than I do. Oh, it's time. My apologies to everyone. You know, I have to say that I hope that there was some affection apparent in what I said. Yes, absolutely Linda. I feel that. I'm sure that we don't have time, but I'm sure that my reaction wasn't the only one. I'm sure there were other ones. So because of the lack of time, we only heard that. Thank you.

[46:14]

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