I love to taste the juice of an Atlantis. Well, in Zen practice, training is very important.

[01:19]

There are various levels of training. This practice that we have here, which is mostly a lay practice, but it's an unusual lay practice in that we're not just hearing the Dharma, but we're actually practicing the Dharma. And in order to practice, in its true sense, practice entails training. And training entails participation and dedication and awareness and attention.

[02:38]

And there are various aspects of how we train in the Sangha. Sangha practice is in itself training. Sangha is the community, the people who practice together. Many people like to sit Zazen by themselves, which is fine, but it's not training. It's whatever it is. It may be, it's just Zazen. Sometimes we think, well, Zazen is it. We talk a lot about Zazen, you know, as the center of our practice is Zazen. But Zazen is more than just sitting cross-legged on a cushion by yourself. Zazen

[03:40]

and community, and studying Dharma, and working together, and checking your state of mind with a teacher. All these together constitute practice. Plus, how you deport yourself and carry yourself with others, how you relate to the outside world. Outside meaning the world in general. All these constitute aspects of practice. within a practice where we all know, all have some understanding of the way in which we practice, we each find our own way.

[05:00]

It's not group practice. It's practicing together with yourself. realizing that all the people that you practice with are aspects of yourself. To isolate yourself to practice is not considered true practice. True practice has to do with the difficulties we have with each other, the anger that comes up, the resentments, the attachments, the lust, the delusions. Right in those dharmas is where our practice lies.

[06:05]

So, Dealing with all the minute and obvious difficulties of our life is where we practice. So, if we have difficulty relating, then relating is your practice. If you have difficulty with resentments, then dealing with resentment is your practice. So it's pretty easy to know what our practice is in that way, because whatever comes up continuously is a focus for our practice.

[07:13]

and gives us some way to set a tangible object for practice or subject. So, in a very concrete way, to sit zazen, to participate in the Zen Center, taking positions, cooking meals for the Sangha, doing the service positions, learning all that, taking care of the altars, cleaning the Zendo, sweeping the grounds. All these are aspects of practice. They're not what we would usually call work. and dealing with our emotions, thoughts, and problems.

[08:25]

All these together are the stuff with which we practice. But there's one practice that is common to everyone, and that's at the basis of all of our practices. And that is self-awareness. If you come in late every single time, how do you see yourself? So this is an introduction to a case, case number 12 in the Mu'man Khan, which is a very well-known koan, and I've talked about it before.

[09:52]

This is called Zui Gong calls master. Jiu Yan is his Chinese name because he was Chinese. And he lived in the ninth century in China. And he was a disciple of Ganto, who was a very famous Zen master. And But in Japanese, call him Zuigan. So that's the name I'm used to. So I call him Zuigan. The monk Zuigan, or the priest, as he says here, always called master to himself every day. And then he answered himself, yes.

[10:53]

Then he would say, be aware and reply, yes. Don't be deceived by others. No, no. And then Mumon's commentary says, old Zuigan buys himself and sells himself. He brings forth lots of angel faces in demon masks and plays with them. Why? Look. One kind calls, one kind answers. One kind is aware, one kind will not be deceived by others. If you still cling to understanding, you're in trouble. If you try to imitate Zui Gan, your discernment is altogether that of a fox. And then Wu Man has a verse. And he says, students of the way do not know truth.

[12:01]

They only know their consciousness up to now. This is the source of endless birth and death. The fool calls it the original self. So the point of practice and training is to Let go of false thinking and false action and false understanding about who we are, which means delusion. Let go of delusions and realize who we really are, what things really are. not allow the ego to be the boss. This is the point.

[13:05]

To not let the ego be the boss. So, priest Zuigan called, every day he would say, Master, I guess he'd wake up in the morning and say, Master. And then he would answer himself. Yes. He didn't say Ziligon, he said, Master. He would address Master. There's a koan. Who is the master? Who is the master? Who is Zuligan addressing, by the way?" But then he would say, yes, he'd answer himself.

[14:07]

So Zuligan is sending a shout into the universe, just sending a shout into the universe. Master. And then he would answer. Yes. So, he's sending a shout into the universe and the reply is coming from himself. Yes. He's taking two sides. Do we have two sides? This is not checking. He's not checking up on himself. He's not finding out if he's there.

[15:18]

Maybe he is. Maybe he wants to know if he's there. Who's there? Anyway, who's the master? controlling things. Who's making everything happen? How do we know what to do? In this universe, we depend on many things. This is a world of props. You know, we're born into the world. Help us. And then, because we're helpless, something comes to our aid. Mama, papa, auntie. Someone comes to our aid and supports us. But we're really quite helpless in the world.

[16:19]

And as we grow older, we start helping ourselves because we find our props. And then we create our world out of props. We create a stage set and depend on it. But actually, it's just a stage set because there's nothing to depend on. There's absolutely nothing to depend on. It's like each one of us is a speck in outer space. And totally lost. And then we set up something. Set up a stone. And if we set up a stone, then we orient ourselves on that stone. It's like being at sea. Just water and sky. But then, oh yeah, there are the stars.

[17:22]

And we orient ourselves by, there's the North Star and there's Venus and so forth. But on a cloudy night, you don't know where you are. if you don't have the tools. So we're really out in space and we set up landmarks. And some of us live in a very narrow world of landmarks. Some of us live in a broader world of landmarks. A Zen student should be able to live in a world of no landmarks. When you sit in Zazen, you're living in the realm of no landmarks. It's outer space. Inner space. Inner space and outer space are really the same. But we say inner and outer because we set up a mark.

[18:27]

As soon as we set up a mark, a signpost, then there's inner and outer. When you're gone, there will be no inner or outer. So what do we rely on and what do we really depend on? And who are we? So then he said to himself, be aware. And then he replied, Yes, OK, I will. Don't be deceived by others. No, I won't do that. I won't be deceived by others. Who are others? Actually, we're only deceived by ourself.

[19:29]

Others means don't be deceived by Anger. Don't be deceived by your greedy feelings. Don't be deceived by your delusions and illusions. These are actually others. We identify with our feelings. My feelings. But feelings are just feelings. Thoughts are just thoughts, and of course they are my thoughts and my feelings, in that I'm responsible to everyone and myself for my actions. But feelings are just feelings, and thoughts are just thoughts. We make a continuity out of thoughts and feelings.

[20:39]

And then we create a reality out of the thoughts and feelings and emotions. And then we create karma out of the thoughts and feelings and emotions. And then we're stuck with our thoughts and feelings and emotions. And we have to take responsibility. And that's our fate. or our destiny. It's not fate, because we can always change. If it's fate, it means you can't change. It means that it's predestined. Karma is not quite like that. Karma is our action, our volitional action, born through body, speech, and mind, born through emotion, feelings, and thoughts. action, and then there's the result of this action, and we have to accept the result of this action.

[21:48]

But we can always change by changing our actions, by letting go of our delusions and turning around. So there's always a way to get out of it, not get out of it, but to change. how Buddhism, how Buddha was very different from the people of his time, most of whom believed in fate. And Buddha said, no, fate is not, your destiny is not fixed. You can always, you actually have control of your destiny. and you can change your life. You don't have to be bound by your karma. So don't be deceived by others.

[22:54]

This is, I think, the main point here in this koan. How do we not be deceived by others? It doesn't mean don't be deceived by somebody else. The others are your states of mind, your false states of mind, all of our karmic consciousness. So the training, actually, of a Zen student is to learn how to not be attached to harmful feelings, emotions, and states of mind. to let go of the discriminating mind, which creates separation.

[24:04]

So in this dialogue with Zuligan and himself, Zuligan is demonstrating non-discriminating mind. Big self is having a talk with little self. Small self and big self. Zuhigan is acknowledging small self. Zuhigan is dropping small self by acknowledging it. He's teaching himself. He's training himself. But he's training himself.

[25:10]

He's allowing Big Mind to train Small Mind. So every day he says, Master, he's allowing, he's acknowledging Big Mind. What do I do? And Big Mind says, don't be deceived by others. But Big Mind is Small Mind and Small Mind is Big Mind. There's no difference. So in Zen training, we allow big mind to train small mind. Every one of us has to train ourself. And we all have to let big mind be the boss. This was Suzuki Roshi's teaching as well. Suzuki Roshi's main teaching was always, never forget big mind.

[26:16]

Small mind is an expression of big mind. Big mind is the mind of the universe, Buddha nature. Let buddha nature be the boss. And we let buddha nature be the boss by just dropping, letting, not letting ego be the boss. So it's a struggle and ego is always popping up there. As soon as somebody tells us No, this one comes up and tells me this, that one comes up and tells me that, then this one comes up and tells me something else, and pretty soon I'm so angry. This is ego. This is small mind. How do we deal with that? That's right there is the practice.

[27:23]

we should realize that difficulties are right where the practice lies. It's interesting how when we first come to sit Zazen, we feel that it's something that will be helpful and maybe take away some of our misery. But as soon as we start to sit, all of our painful Painful body, painful feelings, everything comes up for us. There's a saying, Somebody commented on when Zuligan says, be aware, and then he answers, yes.

[28:46]

That's like letting the goose out of the bottle. The goose is like our ego, you know, that doesn't want to say yes. Ego doesn't want to say yes. Ego wants to resist. left the goose out of the bottle. It's hard to let the goose out of the bottle, because the goose is pretty big, and the neck of the bottle is pretty small. So we have to really open up wide, you know, kind of like... So then, Buman says, Old Zuigan buys himself and sells himself. He brings forth lots of angel faces, This is just a way of saying, you know, buys himself and sells himself is dialogue with himself, right? He's kind of dialoguing and bringing forth angel faces and demon masks to play with.

[30:01]

This is another, just another way of saying that as well. Then he says, look, why does he do this? One kind calls, one kind answers, one kind is aware, one kind will not be seen by others. And then he says, if you cling to understanding, you're in trouble. If you cling to some kind of what you feel is understanding, you should be careful. But I think I would rather say, if you cling to any particular state of mind, then you're in trouble. There is no special state of mind to be desired. We tend to, you know,

[31:05]

Human nature is to want heaven. And we imagine, have this imagined feeling, let's see what's heaven like, you know. Lightness, no feelings, wonderful feelings, you know, everybody's in harmony, everything, you know. We have these feelings, right? And it's what we want, but we can never get it. We can never get that heavenly state of mind that we want, but we're always waiting for it. We always kind of would like to have it come by, but it doesn't come by because it's just an illusion. Totally an illusion. And the more we cling to that illusion, the worse life hurts. So, to just be able to be with whatever state of mind has arisen is reality.

[32:23]

So, practice of Zen is not the practice of heavenly states, or wonderful states, or something like that. It's the practice of just being real. just accepting each moment's reality as it is without clinging to it and without rejecting it. This is nirvana. Nirvana is just reality. And of course, nirvana is samsara. Because it's just the reality of what's going on. So when you sit in Zazen, you always think, when is that wonderful state of mind going to be there?

[33:34]

You know, the meditative state of mind? But it doesn't show up. Or it shows up for a minute. And then it shows up in that wonderful space of time. This is it. And as soon as you say, this is it, it starts fading. It starts falling over. The moment you like it, it starts falling over and going away. And then you start suffering because that wonderful heavenly state that you want so badly is disappearing. And then it becomes hell taking its place. So there's no particular state of mind. If you cling to some particular state, then you will suffer. So, he says, if you still cling to any particular state of mind, you're in trouble.

[34:45]

If you try to imitate Zui Gon, your discernment is altogether that of a fox. So, you have to be careful. Zui Gon is a wonderful example, kind of archetypal example, you know. but you cannot imitate him. Otherwise, it's not genuine. Your practice and your understanding has to be whole cloth from your own understanding and from your own authentic It has to be authored by you. Your own authentic center. Everything has to come from your own authentic center.

[35:52]

So, he's saying, you cannot follow in his footsteps. except as an example. And then Muhammad says, students of the way do not know truth. They only know their own diluted consciousness. up to now. This is the source of endless birth and death, and the fool calls it the original self. Consciousness here means, when he says consciousness, people don't see the truth.

[37:02]

They only see their deluded consciousness. which means we only are aware of our story. Each one of us has a story and we make up the story about how things are and then we believe our story and we act out of our story rather than seeing things as it is and acting out of reality or truth. And so we're always stumbling. Even though we make great headway in the world, at some point we stumble because we don't see something. We don't see the pitfalls and the partiality of our way of thinking, of our consciousness. So the seventh level of consciousness in the Buddhist model is the ego consciousness. and ego, our sense of self-consciousness, is always making up its own story and promoting a self.

[38:17]

So, when that level of consciousness, that ego consciousness, takes its rightful place in the hierarchy, I hate to use this word, I love to use this word, in the hierarchy of consciousness, then buddha nature directs, rather than ego directing. We have to be able to trust our true nature. This is difficult, you know, when we put so much reliance on ego, to allow ego to take its place, rightful place, in the hierarchy of consciousness and step out into space, depending on Buddha nature as a guide. And our training should be training toward allowing

[39:29]

ego to find how it's useful not be the boss and step off into outer space with nothing to hold on to and let the master do the work, do the guiding. When ego is reduced to a servant instead of a master, then we always know what to do. And we realize that our surroundings, all the objects around us, and all the people around us, and all the animals, are parts of ourself. And then we'll realize how to work in harmony with ourself.

[40:33]

And we understand that all along we've been hindering ourself by letting ego be the boss instead of the servant. But ego has a position as a servant. Ego is the servant of Buddha nature. But the problem is that it takes over and tries to be the boss. So when ego becomes the servant of Buddha nature, we can still say, me and mine and yes and no. but it's different than when it's the boss.

[41:35]

So the practice of Zen student is to allow ego to serve. And in the process of allowing that, ego will be bruised. but it'll learn. And it will feel much better when it's actually in its rightful place. And at some point, ego will feel very grateful that there's some control. So he says, this is the source of endless births and deaths.

[42:51]

You know, students of the way do not know the truth. They only know their own delusive consciousness up to now. This is the source of endless birth and death. And the fool calls it, mistakenly calls it the original self. The source of birth and death is actually the ego assuming it's stealing the place of Buddha nature. Because what it is that is born and dies is the ego, over and over, moment by moment. When ego is not the master who is born and who dies.

[43:56]

So the fool mistakes the ego for the self, for the true self. And it's hard to see it, because we want to preserve something. So, we know that nothing can be preserved. that impermanence itself is a true life. We should be very thankful for impermanence.

[45:16]

So impermanence is death. It's also birth. So if we can't die, we can't be born. So we shouldn't be afraid of either one. But whatever our position is, we should meet that position totally. That's Zen training. whatever is in front of you to meet that totally, moment by moment. Well, who is it that hurts?

[47:17]

That's a sense of self. Still there. So, you know, we have to look at that moment by moment. Why is this painful? And who is hurt? Why is this painful? And who is it that's hurt? You know, if you stand in the way, we say, catching a cold, you know, as if we caught something, right? But, you know, and we catch arrows. In battle, we catch arrows. But if you can let the arrows go through, they may hurt when they're going through, but they don't stay, they don't stick.

[48:26]

So, yeah, we feel the pain of some, you know, an insult or something wrong, but if we, it's hanging on to that, creating a self out of this arrow. That's how we create ego, is we take something and we hold on to it and we can create any kind of scenario we want out of it. And you see it around you all the time. We all come up with our scenarios. And if we let it go through, we can see the reality of that and the truth of that But we also keep returning to here. You have to keep returning to here all the time. Otherwise you get stuck up here or you get stuck up here. You have to continually let go and return to here.

[49:30]

Then you can see clearly. And then you can operate, you can respond from this place instead of responding from anger or responding from resentment, or responding from whatever. It seems that one wonderful outcome of Zen practice could be to achieve a peace with reality. Yes. But clinging to that, or trying to achieve that, is not a good thing to do? Peace is just an idea. which is just my idea of peace, is not peace. Real peace, true peace, is to have peace within your problems. To have peace within pain. You know, the easy peace that we want is not to have any problem.

[50:34]

Within your problem, to have equanimity. to be settled. That's why Sishin is so important in our practice. Because when you sit Sishin, you have big difficulty. Matter of fact, for many people, it's the most difficult thing they've ever done because it's so painful. And you have to find your peace within the pain. It's easy to find a peace when there's no problem. But that's not life. Life is painful. The fact of life is... There are two facts. One is pain, and the other is lack of pain. But mostly it's painful, in one way or another. If I may go one step further, let's say that you achieved this peace within the pain and all these things.

[51:37]

One wants to keep to be in that state, keep going. One wants to continue being in that state because it's a good state. Yes, one should continue to find peace. But then you are clinging to something. That's called clinging to nothing. To achieve that peace is called clinging to nothing. If you want peace, cling to nothing. Clinging to nothing is still clinging. We're saying, not clinging to anything. But unions are good for workers.

[53:19]

What was that? Unions are good for workers. And it gives them some strength in numbers in which to deal with management. So that part is good. If everyone governs themselves, you don't need government. So we keep trying to create different kinds of governments in order to govern ourselves, and any of them will work, or none of them will work. It just depends on how we all govern ourselves. That's the bottom line. Peace will never come until everyone's governing themselves. It's the only way.

[54:22]

It has nothing to do with governments. And as the Tao Te Ching says, I can't quote it exactly, but in the old days, everybody took responsibility for themselves, and there was no need for government. And then government came along. And then things keep getting worse and worse. So we have to educate people to take personal responsibility for everything around them instead of taking. To be responsible instead of taking. I think it's that simple. but we have to work as if it would happen.

[55:22]

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