of the crocodiles that were in the river. And, and, is the mic working yet? Let me try to catch it better. And he was afraid when he had to walk through the forest to get to the river because there were snakes in there and hairy spiders. And he just had to use all his courage to do that. So one day he was walking along home from the river with some water and he was going along the forest path and he heard this sound like something that was very scared or, or in pain. And he didn't want to go into the jungle to see what that was.

[01:02]

But he had a big heart. And so he got up his courage and he went in amongst the trees. And, and by and by, he came to where there was a hare, which we know is another name for a rabbit, right? And it was all tangled up in vines and brambles. And he, he got it, helped it get loose. And the hare said to him, Oh, thank you. He said, the hare said, I was so frightened that something would come and eat me up while I was all tangled up. And you must be a brave boy to come and help me. And Meobie said, no, I'm not. I'm afraid of a lot of things. And the hare said, well, what, for instance?

[02:04]

And Meobie said, well, crocodiles and, and snakes. But most of all, I'm afraid of the things that rustle in the palm thatch at night in the roof above my dead place. And my uncle tells me it's just lizards, but it just makes me think about monsters. And the hare said, well, you were brave enough to help me out. And the boy said, well, and I'll help you go home if you're, if you're still worried and frightened yourself. And the hare said, you can't do that because I live in the moon. But you've been so good to me that I am going to give you anything that you would like to have. And the boy, Meobie said, well, what I would really like to have would be courage.

[03:11]

And the hare said, well, I can't give you that just flat out right away. But I can show you how to get it. I'll show you the way. You just see that road down there. You walk along that road to the end. And if you get frightened along the way, just look up at the moon and I'll tell you what to do. And here is a knife, a dagger to protect you on the road. So Meobie went home and packed up a little bit of food and a little cloth and went off down the road. And he walked all night long. And every time he got scared, he'd look up at the moon and feel braver. And then he slept a little bit. But the next day he was coming toward a village.

[04:15]

And all of a sudden he heard moaning and wailing and carrying on. And as he got into the village, nobody paid any attention to him at all. They were all weeping and crying and moaning. And he thought, what's going on here? So he went to the head man of the village and he said, what's the matter with all these people? And the head man of the village was sitting there too. And he said, there's a monster on the mountain. And every 50 years he gets hungry and he comes down the mountain and he eats up everybody and all the goats and all the chickens and all the cats and dogs and all the people. And Niobe said, well, there seem to be a lot of people in this village.

[05:21]

Why don't you all get together and kind of gang up on him? And the man laughed. I see you don't know what kind of a monster this is. Look up on the mountains. And you see that smoke up there? That's the smoke from his fiery breath. And when he lets a flame out of his mouth, it just would scorch you like a barbecue. And Niobe did not know what to think about this. But for some way, he looked up and the moon was just rising. And whether it was courage that he got from seeing the moon or maybe his own big heart or both, he said, I will go up there and see what I can do. And the head man said, good thinking. Smart boy, he said.

[06:22]

You'll be frizzled up right away, eaten up right away. You won't have to worry so long. So Niobe set off up the mountain and in the light of the moon, it was almost as bright as day. And he could see this monster up there. And it was as big as two elephants put together. And he went on up there. And when the monster saw him, it let out a big blast of fire from its mouth. And Niobe was so startled and scared by that, he ran back a long way down the mountain. And I forgot a very important part that I have to go back and say, when he was up there, he was looking at the monster. And it seemed to him that the monster had gotten only to be the size of one elephant.

[07:29]

But when he came back down, when he was scared, he looked back again. And there it was, maybe the size of three elephants. And he stopped and he thought, and he said, this is weird. He said, the closer I get to this monster, the smaller it gets. The farther away I go, the bigger it grows. He said, maybe if I wait till it takes a deep breath and isn't flaming at me, I could run up there really fast. And maybe by then it would be a size that I could take care of it with my dagger that the hare gave me. So he waited till the dragon went. And in that moment, he ran up the mountain as fast as he could. And when he got to the cave where the monster was, he looked around and he couldn't see anything.

[08:34]

And then he felt something hot on his foot. And he looked down and there was this little creature about the size of a frog. And he picked it up and held it in his hand and he scratched its back. And it began to purr like a tea kettle. And he said, oh, this is fun. I'm going to take this and keep it for a pet. So he went down the mountain, holding it in his hands. And as the people saw him coming near, they were all going, hooray, the brave warrior. He has killed a monster. And he said, wait a minute. No, look at this. This is what happened. When I got close to it, it went down to be only this size. And all the people were looking and craning and trying to see it.

[09:36]

And one little girl said, what's its name? And the old man said, I didn't remember to ask it. And the little monster piped up and he said, well, I have a whole lot of names. He said, some people call me plague and some people call me famine. But the name that's most used, my best name, the one I always use is what might happen. And that's the end of my story. So I remember, I'm going to ask anybody can guess what the story, what's the name? What might happen? Well, that would be a great name. And that would give the whole story away, wouldn't it? No, I'll tell you.

[10:37]

I'll give you a clue. It's got monster in the title. The alien monster? That's another good one. What happened to the monster? Little monster? It got small. Yes, small little monster. The monster that grew small is the name of it. And it's by Joan Grant. If you want to look at the book, it has wonderful pictures in it. But I'm wondering, did any of you, when I was telling the story, see a monster in your head? Could you picture what a monster would look like? Did you? Can you tell us? It was red and it had a huge spiky back. I couldn't hear that. It was red and it had a big spiky back.

[11:38]

Oh, that's just what it looked like in the book. It looked like it was having a big spiky back. Good for you. Okay, is there anything else that you would like to tell me or say about? Yes. Is the monster a dragon? Well, it looks like a dragon in the book. But I, you know, when I think of a monster, I don't necessarily think of a dragon. So I think in your mind, you can picture that it always, it looks... I do in three minutes, just give me. But one more thing I want to ask you. If you were going to tell somebody else the story about this story, not the whole plot, but just what the idea is. Could you tell, could you tell me what you'd say to them? Okay.

[12:39]

Well, thank you very much for listening. So what we know are there are real monsters. And one part of that story that strikes me always is when Meobi says to the head man,

[13:48]

there are a lot of people in this village. Why don't you get together and confront him? And, but the head man was too, he didn't have the courage for that. Or it takes a leader to do this. And I'm not a big fan of James Michener. But there's a part of his book, Hawaii, that always has stayed with me. It's the leper colony of Molokai. And this would be before Father Damien came. They just used to send people there. And, you know, they had to go. And there was a beautiful young woman, not an apparent mark on her, that was torn away from her family and her life and sent to Molokai. And as soon as she landed, the big bullies on the island immediately fell upon her and

[14:56]

raped her. And by and by, after time had passed, what we see of her is a diseased, ridden, old, half-mad hag, cackling away and inviting all comers. And this just, I found so appalling. And, but then in the story, a leader gathers. And the only way that the bullies were ever stopped was that the leader gathered the powerless people together and confronted them, the big bullies. And then there was more safety and order and peace on the island. And, of course, right now, we have a much more inspiring leader to think of than that.

[16:01]

Because Monday, we're going to celebrate Martin Luther King's birthday. And he was one who confronted a monster that did not get smaller right away, took a lot of time and a lot of work. But on Tuesday, we are going to have the inauguration of our first African-American president. So that's a wonderful thing to think about. Let me see. Then, of course, there are, I mean, the little monster says in the story, some people call me death, I mean, famine or plague. And those are things to worry about if they come.

[17:07]

And they have come and are coming for untold numbers of people in this world. So there are some monsters that don't get smaller when they approach or when we approach them. And we all have our personal ones that we have to face. And for the intractable monsters, there's nothing that we can do but face them with as much courage and grace as we can muster. Death is a big one for most of us. And the current issue, the 25th anniversary issue of Insight Meditation, the magazine

[18:13]

from Spirit Rock, it has an amazing picture of feathers coming off of a skeleton of a bird. And underneath it says, the four heavenly messengers, or maybe just the heavenly messengers. And this refers to the time when the Buddha first left his palace and had never seen any kind of suffering before. But he saw the sick man, the old man, the dead man, and the wandering ascetic. And these are, interestingly, called heavenly messengers. And in this issue of Inquiring Mind, there are some haiku written as deathbed poems by

[19:23]

a lot of different Zen masters. And one really struck me. It's by Kiba, who died in 1868 at the age of 90. My old body, a drop of dew grown heavy at the leaf tip. My old body, a drop of dew grown heavy at the leaf tip. And this sounds really good to me. You know, sort of like one of these days, plop. Back in the pond where I came from. And I wonder if it has occurred to you. I'm sure it has, as it has to me.

[20:25]

Why is it that we worry so much about what's going to happen to us after we're dead? When we're back in the pond, we never worry about all the immense time that happened before we came along. I don't, I don't, I don't know the answer to that. But I want to get back to the monster whose name is What Might Happen? Because I have that kind of storyteller's, writer's mind that wants to make scenarios. And I can go from losing my checkbook to myself as a bag lady with all my belongings in a grocery cart, asking for spare change in front of the BART station, in, standing in the shower.

[21:30]

All the while I'm standing in the shower. But the fruit of practice has been, for me, that I can see myself doing this. In the middle of it, I can catch it and say, wait a minute, whoa, this is not happening. I'm making all of this up. And, and so that becomes a monster that gets smaller and goes away when you approach it. And I'm very happy for that. So, I think I'd like to just close. I'm doing really early here, but we have some time for talk if you'd like.

[22:32]

There's a quote from Mark Twain about the monster, What Might Happen, that I like. I can't, I don't have it exactly. I looked it up on Google, but it wasn't there. And he said, the worst things in my life are those that never actually happened. So, I'm tempted to ask you all, any of you who would like to tell me what your monster looks like? Or any other comments or anything that you would like to say? Yeah. Um, being alone and stuck in pain seems to me a monster that, it's always changing its camouflage.

[23:33]

It's always mutating and moving into different situations. But if I look at them all, the grounding, the basic place is stuck in incredible pain and all by myself. So, I don't quite understand what it looks like there, but it feels like something. Because, you know, all these different situations could lead to this scenario, and it keeps kind of coming back to that. And then I'd say, as you said, you know, the heavy drop. Why am I not thinking about where I was before I came into being? That's as horrible as being in this temporary situation and thinking this awful thing is going to happen. Uh, yeah.

[24:35]

Are you talking about physical pain or mental pain or both? Having experienced some physical pain, I feel, it's sort of like the people talking about the searing heat and being barbecued, when they think of this monster coming down on them once in a lifetime. So, after 50 years of whatever, I've had enough of a taste of that to know that it's real. Well, and it keeps changing its disguise for you, so that... Well, where it's going to come from, where it's going to leap out at. I see. Okay, I'm putting my foot on this path, and whoops, have I thought about how this might wake up that monster. I don't want to describe how that monster keeps coming back, but I think it's that fear, the fear of that, I'll be abandoned, I'll be alone, and I'll be in incredible physical pain,

[25:39]

is where that monster is. Well, and has it gotten to happen enough that you can see the fear and recognize this has happened before and I survived it? It's something like, I love, always love the fable about the family that goes down one time into the basement to get the beer, and they see an axe in the beam overhead and start imagining what could happen if that axe fell when their child was born, and the young man who's going to be the father of that child is sitting upstairs alone at the patrol dinner, wondering where are they all, and says, finally he confronts them in the basement, and there's beers all over the floor, and everybody's crying and blubbering, and he's saying, when I, I'm going out in the world, and if I find three stilettos as big as you, I'll come back.

[26:40]

And it's that catastrophic thinking. That's a great story, yeah, uh-huh, Italian, I think. You know, when I commutate, I think about, okay, the earthquake comes, and it falls, and I'm in this house, and it falls on me, and where I'm driving in my car, and the bridge falls on top of me, and I'm stuck in this very small space, in incredible pain, all by myself, and there's nothing I can do. You're really good. One thing that I didn't say here about death, is that while we don't want to die, I think how awful it would be if we never did. There are a lot of folktales in the world, the Flying Dutchman, and the Wandering Jew, where someone has done something terrible, and the curse that's visited upon them, is that they cannot die.

[27:43]

They have to wander the earth. So, the wanting things not to change, if we really look into that, it would be worse if they did not. Yes, Kate. Thank you very much for your story. I loved it. Thank you. And I love the death haiku. I don't hurt that, and it's wonderful. I was going to share a thing that happened to me once, that I was able to notice at the time, you know, so that was a lot of fun. It was the end of a work week, and I had gotten home, and I was very tired, and the phone rang. And somebody asked me if I wanted to go get a bite, and spent the evening, and I said, thanks, but I'm just exhausted. I'm going to just stay in. And after that, the phone rang again.

[28:44]

And somebody else was asking me if I wanted to go to the movies. And I said again, I was really tired, and I was just going to stay in. And that was fine. And then, this is our habitual thinking, right? Probably within a half hour, I noticed, I was lucky enough to notice, that I was thinking, oh God, nobody likes me. Nobody ever calls me. And what was lucky about it was that that time, I was able to see the absurdity of it. So those are good experiences to have. Thanks again. Thank you, Kate. Yeah, Matt. I don't know if this is a common experience amongst people, but to experience somebody dying, or getting ready to die, and having that look of fear in their eyes,

[29:49]

as their body starts to give out, and really shocking fear that comes forward. And so one of my monsters is dying, but clinging as I'm dying. And then, but I ask, how do you help somebody in that situation? Is it possible to help somebody who's dying, but still reaching and grasping? Well, there's a wonderful book by Stephen Levine. What is the name of that book? Who Dies. Who Dies. And as I recall, he says that when this happens with the clinging, uh, that it's because the people have something, the person who's dying has something, some unfinished business, something still that they cannot let go of.

[30:54]

And, um, but I, I have to refer to Selgin on this one. What would you say? It depends on the situation. Mm-hmm. Uh, if you can, um, when the person is in this situation, where are you? So you can say, well, what do we do with that person? But what are we doing for ourself? And if we know how to resolve it for ourself, then when we look into the eyes of that person, that's how we help the person. But if we don't have that ourself, it's hard to help the other person. So it's really, when we're taking care of someone who's dying, it's like, where am I? All the time. And this is how we, um, become one with the person.

[31:57]

And when we become one with the person, they feel taken care of. So that's my answer. Thank you. Okay. Yes. I think that has been taken away from us often in the hospitals and, uh, kind of, where it's not in, it used to be people lived in a house and with a family and died there too, with their family all around them. And, uh, my father died about 10 years ago. And he, uh, had a long illness and we were able to be with them. And, uh, me and my sisters were able to go through that with him. And, uh, he taught me how to die. But my, he wasn't taken away suddenly like some people are. He was, became this really gentle, uh, accepting person who wasn't afraid.

[33:02]

And kind of, it was a wonderful experience to go through that with him. And we were able to, you know, have that together. And I, you know, I think it's gone away when people are, like I say, uh, it's been taken off, you know, kind of stolen from us by doctors and hospitals. Thank you, Peter. This, I would say, this is my son speaking. And, um, I will attest to the fact that in some way you and your sisters were able to make that a growing and beautiful experience for, for all three of you. Not only that, the death of your father, but also taking care of him beforehand. And I, I saw a great tenderness and, and joy in doing that from all three of you.

[34:07]

Well, thank you very much.

[34:15]

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