Well, today we have one big sitting session, and so appropriately, I want to express our understanding, refresh our understanding of what we're doing, actually. And we had this kind of long day of sitting. And we were also moving. So I've chosen this well-known koan that we've discussed many times. Joe Shoes, Watch Your Goal. The speakers are a little loud.

[01:07]

Yeah, I'll speak a little quieter this time. How's that? OK. I'm like I said, I just entered this monastery. Please teach me. This is very appropriate because it's a little informal. Usually when it's not that formal. This is the way one expresses something. He says, look, it's okay. I just entered this monastery. Please teach me. And Master Joshu said, have you eaten your rice porridge? And he asked Joshu, yes I have, replied the monk. Then you'd better wash your bowl, said Joshu. With this, I want to give you some insight.

[02:11]

So this has various levels of meaning, and there are several ways to understand this encounter. But I'm not going to explain them all. I'm just going to talk. And I may, in doing so, come across in various levels. But for our purpose, you know, the most important thing, actually, is to keep your open and listening mind. when we keep an open and unassuming mind in our practice, then we have an opportunity to encounter reality directly, without distorting it, without distorting our vision.

[03:20]

Suzuki Goshi says, There are three levels of creation. Creativity. When we sit in zazen, we disappear. We let everything go. There is no you. There is no me. There is simply oneness. When we stand up, suddenly the whole universe appears at once. And everything is fresh and new. Because we've just been born. Actually, when we sit down then, it's kind of like dying. And when we stand up, it's sort of like this life, a brand new creation.

[04:28]

every day's interests and our minds are set the same time. It's sort of like breathing. When we exhale, everything goes away. When we inhale, everything appears. This happens on each breath, actually. This is an actual fact. I don't know about facts, but When we breathe, everything disappears. And when we inhale, everything comes to life. Comes back. So, Zazen is like exhaling. Standing up is like inhaling. The first act of creation. Everything is new. And we can decide what to do. Because Actually, there's nothing. We have nothing. There's nothing holding us, or nothing to depend on.

[05:31]

And we can step in any direction. But what we do is follow our old patterns. That's okay. Otherwise, you'd have to think about, what do I do now? rather than, oh, I know what to do. So this not-knowing mind is a fundamental mind. But the interesting thing is that when we let go of knowing, we know what to do. When we come to a place where we have a real question, a real problem, and we don't know, To say, I don't know, is a fundamental thing. I don't know means that your mind is totally open and ready for something. And then, strangely enough, something will appear and you'll know how to go.

[06:36]

So, I don't know is really an important fact of Satsang. don't know mind. Just don't know. Just don't look back. Don't know and don't look back. Just go straight. Don't know and go straight. And this is also, this is in Hiroshi's teachings, but he didn't say it like that. But actually he did. Just without knowing. Just standing up for who you are, not knowing where you are or who you are. This is courage to practice, not knowing where you are or who you are. We think we know where we are. We think we know who we are. This is OK. We need some stability. But basically, we really don't.

[07:39]

So we depend on something bigger than our small self. So this is called renunciation, actually. It's not throwing all your goods into the lake. Enunciation is not throwing luxury goods into the lake. It's simply letting go of what we depend on that's not dependable. So the first act of standing up is the creative act of simply being present without anything. You can see the shimmering of the drops of water on the leaves, and you're totally knocked out by it. You're knocked out by the way the sun filters in through the window and the little particles of dust, haze, appear.

[08:47]

Because your mind is totally clear. There's nothing there. to hinder our perception, our awareness. Then the second act of creation is like cooking food, and serving it, and getting dressed, and taking care of our surroundings. Then the third act of creation is life, creating society, and a bigger view, a bigger picture of how to take care of our surroundings, our world. So those are three acts of creation. But if they're not based on the emptiness of no special thing, then they're like lost children. And you can see that the creative activity in our society is so much dependent

[09:54]

are indeed not divorced from fundamental activity, and is very confused and dangerous. So we're continually involved in this very confused, creative society, that people are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, or chickens with their base cut off. Actions. So creativity has to come from emptiness, from this understanding of true nature. Otherwise, it just comes from my head. So, Master Joshi says, have you had your porridge?

[11:06]

In other words, have you, you can be, if you're, do you have good understanding? That's one way to understand it. Have you had good understanding? Yes, I swallowed the dharma. Well, then empty your mind. Let go of what your understanding is. That's also an understanding. When we talk about an enlightenment experience, we think, well, that's a really great experience to have enlightenment. So we should have an enlightenment experience. But if we hang on to that experience, I hear people tell me all the time, you know, I had this great experience the other day, but I can't get back to that. So, you shouldn't try to get back to that because then you get stuck.

[12:10]

This is where we are stuck. I had this great experience, but I just can't get back to it. It's like when you take dope, you have a great experience. LSD, you have a great experience. a great experience. And then you go and wash the dishes and sleep on the floor. Those are also great experiences. But because we're not grounded, we don't think they're great experiences. We're grounded in zero. Then sleeping on the floor is a great enlightening experience. Washing the dishes is a great enlightening experience. Arguing with your spouse is a great enlightening experience. Running out of money is a great enlightening experience. Losing your house is a great enlightening experience. Seeing your friend die is a great enlightening experience.

[13:16]

But when we have a great enlightening experience, we have to go on to the next thing. So we let go of this moment's experience. and go on to this moment's experience. So Samadhi, this is called Samadhi. Samadhi is on each moment renewing our fundamental experience from now. Yesterday's experience is not now. This experience right now is the most important thing. right now determines what will happen next. I had this thought occur to me about when we tie our shoes, we tie a bow. And then two sides of our shoelace, which is really one shoelace, are tied in a bow.

[14:23]

And so when we want to disengage ourselves, we just pull the string. If we tie our shoelaces in a knot, then this is called attachment. And it's really hard to get out of it. And a lot of times, you know, so we should tie our shoelaces with a bow, and then we're not attached. We can launch to the next thing without getting hung up. Of course, you know, in our life we have problems and we have often things to take care of because our life is built on all of the phenomena and experiences. And we can't just let go of that.

[15:31]

So to sit back and actually find a fundamental way, and then we can deal with all of the phenomena of life in a fundamental way instead of simply getting lost. Gain and loss are not as important. Because in some way you can. The fundamental thing. The fundamental part of our life. So Gautamji says, that you better watch your bowl. You watch our bowl. moment-by-moment. When we have this new conversion, it's really good to have an enlightenment experience, but best is to have an enlightenment experience at each moment, not just some big event.

[16:42]

Every single moment should be an enlightening experience. If we let go of this moment's enlightening experience, then we have the next moment's enlightening experience. Because enlightenment is not an event, a special event. It's the fundamental thing of our life. How can you get something, or the most valuable thing, that's not already there? If you find something outside of yourself, it's not the fundamental thing. Even if you gain something called enlightenment, it's still not the fundamental thing. Because the fundamental thing is always with you. When a stone hits a piece of bamboo, it goes crack. It's not that something enters you.

[17:44]

It's that you open up. through the cracks. You step off the hundred-foot pole and fall in two. See? But it doesn't look like it. So Mumba has a comment. He says, when he opens his mouth, Joshu shows his gallbladder. In other words, you can see all the way down because there's no obstruction. We say Master Joshi's words are like maybe light or very, he never did, you know, he used the most common words to express the most profound understanding. He never spoke about anything in a way that wasn't just simply plain.

[18:52]

And sometimes people miss his understanding because it's just so plain and ordinary. So his place is hard to deliver. I wonder if this monk really did hear the truth. I hope he did not mistake the bell for a jar. So the bell is like something valuable or useful, actually, in a sense, and generous, although generous usefulness is not as significant. So then Muhammad has a verse, and he says, indeed we need to interpret clearly you in terms of your achievement. And if you try to explain it, you simply call your mind.

[19:56]

So. If you don't, don't you know that flame is fire? Your rice is no longer cooked. So, flame is fire. It means that your actions from Zazen, your activity from Zazen is the flame of a fire. The fire is your fundamental nature and the flame is its expression. So the flame is all of our activity. All of our activity is the same as the fundamental flame or the fundamental light. When we are immersed in Zazen,

[20:58]

It's like lighting a match in a closet. Lights up the whole closet. My favorite saying of Mr. Coombejur, if I can remember it correctly, goes like this. By the side of the ancient ferry, When the breeze and moon are cool and pure, the dark vessel becomes a glowing world. This is Satsang. So the main thing here is how we release ourselves so that we can actually enter the next moment with purity.

[22:19]

Purity means with nothing, nothing extra and no division between our fundamental activities and our external activities. It's like zero, and one, and ten. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten is our activity. Zero is our fundamental satsang. Dogen's Kinjo Koan is our practice, which means how our activity proceeds from satsang. power, activity, perceivings, and insomnia. So we have the samadhi of sitting, we have the samadhi of working, the samadhi of thinking, which means that we're always one with our fundamental activity and not divorced

[23:34]

So Samadhi is concentration, fundamentally, which is not separate from our fundamental nature. Constant renewal. So it always, at each moment, we rise as a new person. In a fresh way. Nothing held back. Nothing held over. This is one meaning of rebirth, actually. I don't like the term reincarnation. That seems kind of weird to me. But moment by moment is rebirth. We are reborn moment by moment. Yes. All these things you're talking about now, I think our meaning is only true

[24:40]

by way of Zen, by way of our practice, or some other practice, which is the same thing, perhaps. Because it's not just true of all beings all the time anyway, I think. Because you were saying in the beginning that our society is one where the activity of thinking is divorced from the fundamental ground. That's all true, true practice. Not all of our society, but the way society goes. Right, yes. It's important to understand that everything in the universe, the whole universe is doing something. Yeah, that's that. That's also true. So even even the way the whole business is running out of control, there's a chicken with a head, you know, or the head with the body cut off. It's still part of that universal samadhi. Well, somehow. It's not samadhi. It's a theory. No.

[25:42]

It's cut off. That's the problem. It's being cut off. But isn't it also, didn't you just say just now, that it's also part of a, you know, I have to be very careful with the expression, the words. I think we have to get the gist of the meaning. rather than hang on to the words. So we are incredible. But this is an interesting question, a question that if everything is Buddha nature, what about all the evil in the world, right? Which is also Buddha nature, right? But it's not. Because Buddha nature is a non-dualistic nature. And then When activity is divorced from our universal nature and simply is acting out with its own basis, which is not fundamental, that's not Buddha-nature.

[26:51]

That's perversion of Buddha-nature. So we can pervert our Buddha-nature. And when we are not perverting our buddha-nature, then buddha-nature reveals itself. But it doesn't reveal itself when it's perverted or covered over. That's why practice reveals buddha-nature. All beings have buddha-nature, but it's not apparent unless there's some motivation or some practice that reveals it. So, there is evil in the world which is perversion of the buddha nature. It's buddha nature perverted rather than buddha nature revealed. That's why it's possible to have redemption.

[27:59]

possible to change that karma. Not easy, but possible. We can always change our karma because nothing's fixed. But when the tangle is untangled, then Pūrṇīcchā reveals itself as Pūrṇīcchā. But we don't know that we have Pūrṇīcchā. In fact, it's a perversion. The inverted view, the Harkinian talks about inverted views, perverted views or inverted views. Nature's suffering. The fact that we don't understand who we are or don't care. We only want something. So the desire turns towards materialism, so to speak. without being based on our nature.

[29:06]

Nature is perversion. And so we don't see it. That's called ignorance. People act out of ignorance instead of out of realization. And so we're always creating suffering for ourselves and others. When you think about, or observe the mayhem that's going on in the world based on ignorance, and you try to think, well, how can we get people to think that it's based on ignorance when they don't even think about it? That it's based on ignorance isn't based on emotion, thought. It's all based on emotion, thought. and will, and division. That's modern nature perverted. When it's unwound, then it's good nature revealed.

[30:11]

So we have this opportunity. This is our life. We have an opportunity to go one way or another. When the desire, the perverted way of thinking about things, is turned to a way-seeking mind that is no longer perverted or deluded. So how do we get people to turn to their nature? Instead of turning to greed, will, and delusion. So greed, will, and delusion can be converted to something like this. generosity and enlightenment. It's just a matter of which way you want to go. What is satisfying? Everyone is trying to satisfy themselves somehow. And false satisfactions are what turns our world upside down.

[31:18]

But even through the false satisfaction, people are really wanting the true satisfaction. So we try to find the true satisfaction through the false satisfaction. And it's a big struggle. But we create a lot of mayhem in the process. So, you know, what are we doing when we're sitting in that mode? Somebody is doing this, wasting the mind. And hopefully the influence will help us. Just do it again. Just do it again. There's an alternative in the world to creating delusion. So if we dedicate ourselves to this understanding that by doing the practice we bring buddhahood into the world, not that it's not there, of course, but we make it

[32:45]

This is our offer to the world, which we're doing all the time, not just on Sunday. It's our everyday activity. You mean when we're sitting side-by-side? No, because we're sitting side-by-side. Without even intending to or even thinking about our practice, we're still doing it. I don't know what you mean by that. Well, like I said, we're always doing it every day. That's our practice. Well, at the moment. So, you're talking about intentionality? Yeah, it's our intention. That's our intention and direction. So, in the larger sense, is Sahasran any time that we're practicing or nurturing or fostering emptiness, if we're practicing the precepts, which is guiding our life, is that Sahasran in a wider form, or what do you say?

[34:20]

Each of them talked about under the floor. Each one of us has a center and a circle. The center is where we are, where our fundamental being comes from. When we're centered on the center of. Then that's where our circle of influence reaches. That's the. The dynamic that reaches out to our border field, which is our circle, and it reaches out in all directions. So when we sit in.

[35:27]

The influence is moving in all directions. And that is our mandala. When you sit on green as your pivot point, then green reaches out in all directions. So, to sit in the middle of Neptune, so that light pervades everywhere in all directions, that's your field of influence. So simply practicing, you create a spiritual influence. That's all. You don't have to do a lot. I mean, whatever you do comes from that center. So I really appreciate how you express that as our offering to the world. I don't know if this is true of other people, but when I first started practicing, I very distinctly had gaming notions.

[36:34]

You know, I wanted to feel better, I wanted to act better, I wanted to be happier. And after practicing for a while, I became aware that I was gaining those things that I had thought I wanted at the beginning, but it also seemed to be having an effect on people around me, and just my perceptions, my surroundings seemed to be changing. and um so it has become almost um instead of just like something i want to do for novelty or fun or gain it's like almost a responsibility you know well it is a responsibility i mean a joyful one joyful right but still right so we come to practice often with um we bring our ego our you know our enlightened mind It hits us there. And then, through conversion, without proverbiality, we turn and realize that the joy comes from the practice.

[37:46]

And it comes from letting go. It comes from sitting in the middle of intense light. And that's where the joy comes from. And the energy. It's like tapping into infinite joy and energy because the energy freely flows. It's not an injury yet. But when you start to think too much about it, too much opinion or then it starts closing down. You just have to open up a little flow and let the ordination usually just friends in our ego. Yes. I don't know. So I should thank you. I really appreciate your talk this morning. I was thinking about that in relationship to having lost my granddaughter, Bella, last year, and the pain that my family has endured.

[38:51]

And that was one light from my son, Ian, whose daughter, Bella, died quite a few months after me. Was that he understood that I had practiced, and he had read some of my Buddhist books. And this was in itself painful. This is all extremely uncomfortable stuff, because there's no ground. And you keep looking for the ground, and then you recognize, oh my god, there is no ground here. And what was available, and for me particularly, I hope that my son Ian found practice, but for me was to do the practice, to be present with this is what continues, this is what I can be with. I may not be able to be with that pain. And actually, in truth, it isn't necessary to do that suffering.

[39:54]

You will do the suffering, of course. But it isn't what it is where it's done on a kind of program to be miserable here in this culture. And certainly, loss is supposed to be miserable. Loss can also be a way to find enlightenment. and i don't mean it like you're lethal but that you relax thoroughly thank you very much yeah well you know that kind of loss is really um so difficult um and when you have some understanding It eases that loss. Yeah, that's exactly it. It eases. I mean, it doesn't take it away. It doesn't change the loss. It allows you to have a place to be. But when we realize that everything comes to an end and then something else goes out of that.

[40:57]

An end is not an end. Right. And it's like you said earlier, you can't be attached to the great experience. You also can't be attached to the bad experience. That's right. You know, everything flows. you know sometimes we say someone died before their time and something but everything is uh dies before his own time yeah it's neither right or wrong it's just i don't know i heard he said so many times that there are short poems and there are long poems Yes.

[42:00]

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