Um, are there any, any announcements? Uh, uh, Berkley's Ensign needs, uh, a few dollars from some people who haven't paid for class yet, so you can see me afterwards. Or I'll put in a donation slot. Okay. Anything else? Well, this evening, uh, if the structure seemed generally to work, um, I'd like to continue to do it the same way again tonight, and we'll see how it goes. At some point, I'd like to kind of evaluate it. Or if you have any particular feedback for me, we may not have time, because time is short. If you have some feedback for me about how things are organized, you know, catch me during the week and just let me know what you think. We'll stay with the same structure for tonight, which is we'll go out to our small groups and then come back and report back and discuss, and then I'll do a presentation about the next precepts.

[01:04]

Is there anyone here ... Okay, we broke down into four groups, right? One, two, three, four. Does everyone remember their group? Does anyone not remember their group? I wasn't here. That's the next question I was going to do. Where you went, it's fine. That's enough. Who wasn't here last week? Rebecca is not here. Yes, I know that. Bill will be... Bill Steele will be... Rebecca. I'll be Rebecca. He will be Rebecca. And how many other people weren't here? One, two... three four ah that works out okay um so let's see and you'll be in group one two is this okay yeah did you want to be in one And you're in one, you're in two, Mary in three, and group four.

[02:07]

Group one goes to my house, group two and goes to Ross and Andrea's house, and Greg's, excuse me. Old habits die hard. Group three stays here, right, with Judy, and group four goes with Bill to the Zendall. And I'd just like to urge you to talk as freely as you can, particularly tonight's areas of precepts are they're intimate and hard to talk about, harder maybe than some others. So I urge you to do the best you can, and you're not obligated to make any great revelations about your sexual life or your substance-abusing life, but say whatever you can. But I would like you to, as best you can, keep it as specific and experiential as possible, rather than theoretical in general.

[03:10]

So those are the only guidelines that we offer. Does anyone else have anything to say about that? It seems like there's not quite enough time, maybe. I mean, we can move it along, but... Well, how would people feel about staying a few minutes later? How long are we allotting, a half hour? We're allotting a half hour. That seems tight for the amount of people. It does seem tight. Well, it's a half, it'll be a half hour when we get there, yeah. More time for the groups and less time for the afterwards. Does that seem right? Okay, let's go to 815. We'll begin the discussion at 820. So, appoint, please appoint a timekeeper and a note taker. Make sure that someone's tracking the time because let's be back here. before, you know, let's really end the groups at 8.15. Okay? People have copies of the precepts? Let's read the third and the fifth precepts together.

[04:15]

From which list, Alan? Just from the Berkeley Zen Center list. I vow not to misuse sexuality. Let the three wheels of self, objects, and action be pure. With nothing to desire, one goes along together with the Buddhas. I vow not to sell the wine of delusion. Originally pure, don't defile. This is a great awareness. OK, so we'll see you all back here. Maybe the people from the Zendo can bring cushions back. Those who are going, welcome back. Let's have some time for some reporting in and some discussion.

[05:15]

So we just go, let's just start one, two, three, four. Let's start with group one. I think people should, we should kind of interrupt for discussion. I mean, you don't have to report the whole. Good. Yeah. Here's my show and tell. Right. Roger Curtis used to get up and talk about his skiing trip with his father for half an hour. We all had to sit there. who conducts one. Okay. So, I couldn't synthesize it while I was in the group, so this is going to be quite a mayhem. We talked about, with regard to the third precept, the relationship between sexuality and intimacy, and the abuse of one sometimes being really the abuse of the other. And that got a lot of press.

[06:24]

And I moved around realizing where this was an issue for us in different ways. And touched on the different cultural contexts that some of us grew up in, where there was repression and rigidity about sexual mores. and contrasting to the 60s and 70s where there was a sexual libertinism that allowed certain behavior that some people might consider abusing sexuality, other people wouldn't. But we really mostly got into the whole issue of intimacy and how that really is a sexual expression, the lack of it causing sexual harm. that. The other thing that seemed to be important to everyone was the nature of the wine of delusion, ranging from videos and books to not being intimate or trying to sell somebody ideas or ideologies.

[07:47]

And we talked a little bit about began the discussion about the levels of harm. It doesn't sound so dangerous to be addicted to books, and of course in this culture it's such a plus to have millions of books all over and be reading all the time. most of us in different ways talked about the frustration or feeling that they were escaping from intimacy, escaping from human contact, being more isolated by going towards books and videos, and it was as dangerous or difficult perhaps as other kinds of addictions which are consensually more harmful. There was a very piece of information people might be interested in about a Reader's Anonymous group in which you thanked to Ross who learned about one page at a time rather than... as a way to help with your addiction. Big words. Big print. More print books. The other issue that came up in terms of, I don't remember whether anybody could correct me here, is that how meditation itself and its wonderful way gets in the way of human contact if you use it as a way to isolate yourself and therefore are really retreating from

[09:21]

intimacy, sexuality that is not necessarily physical. A friend of mine, back East, used to call it like being a Samadhi junkie and sort of having that, you said Samadhi, we can sort of interject. Yeah, please. That, and it's nice having a Zendo, but there's like a, this thing that I have to get to Zendo to meditate and calm down and then when it feels good, like not wanting to get up and do Kinhema and whatnot, and that certainly is a, It does happen, that's the reality. And whether it's retreating from intimacy with other people or just that it feels good, in any case it can be an abuse, but samadhi junkies seem to be an appropriate term for those people. Yeah, well, the thought that occurs to me when you say that is wanting what you want and not being responsible for a larger context, so that you're getting very tunnel-visioned. I mean, when you get up from meditation, you don't want to, when you said that, it really rang a bell, not wanting to do kin-hin, and yet the responsibility is much broader all around, and the same thing with the reading and everything else.

[10:34]

We also touched on that, on the delusion of Zazen, or getting addicted to sitting Zazen. We also discovered not only the wine of delusion, but also the gin of delusion. One of us talked about that. And many people talked about addictions. Wait, what is the gene of delusion? It's Gordon. How does the gene of delusion differ from the line of delusion? Well, that's the question. She said it's proof. We didn't figure that part out. A lot of people talked about their various addictions, and I guess one point that people made, and it's similar to what you already said, was the way in which our addictions or habits, I guess bad habits, that we would consider our own bad habits, sort of keep us removed from other people, and also keep us removed and separated from ourselves.

[12:07]

The thing about misusing sexuality was one person talked about how that in her experience was also the way in which she distanced herself from other people and was not really there and present when she was doing that. There was a discussion about sexual fantasies and how and sort of the how they weren't necessarily delusions. I mean, that was one part that I picked up on, is that the fantasies were different than delusions, although I'm not sure I quite understand that or agree with that. I'm trying to figure that one out. Maybe you can say the difference between a fantasy and a delusion. Well, Charlie gave just a phrase, a fantasy with an attachment is delusional. But that's obviously just a very shorthand way to differentiate.

[13:12]

Maybe Alan could expound on that. Well, I don't know. Again, reading the Vinaya, reading the Theravadan monks' rules, I don't see any precepts about fantasies. But that's just on a literal level. A monk's violations or a nun's violations are actions. But, there certainly seems like there's a strong case to be made, and it's been made, that fantasies can affect one's behavior towards people. I think that's a really tricky question. Could, Lois, would you like to say something about what you were talking about in terms of your... My son? Yeah.

[14:13]

Yeah, he's very much into a fantasy life as much as he can. He's 11 years old and for at least five years he's been reading the books and playing the Dungeons and Dragons games and the computer games and he spends as much time as he can in this fantasy world. So this last week I started worrying about it. Was I helping him do this? And then, you know, because I thought, well, I thought he was learning something from these and it was part of growing up and so I'm just really not sure whether, is this, you know, maybe it's just a fantasy and it's okay, or is it a delusion that's really not good for him or something? It's an avoidance reality. He does it too much. I mean, it's like, yeah, he's sort of antisocial, unless the other kid wants to play Dungeons and Dragons, he doesn't want anything to do with him, practically. It's like, you know, it limits his social life. It brings up TV, you know. He doesn't watch TV at all. No TV. But some people can get the same kind of like involvement.

[15:17]

What do you feel about, I mean, at 11, you probably, since he's 11, you probably have some role in providing these materials. Yes, I give them to him. If he wants them, I help him. So I started worrying about my guilt. So is that the question? Is that selling the wine of delusion? Yeah, right. That's what I started wondering about. There's actually been some research on that particular fantasy. Dungeons and Dragons. Yes. Well, I know sometimes it leads to very, you know, even deaths and things that some kids have taken it way too far. Yeah, that's kind of what started me worrying too. I guess one thing we said about sexuality was that, and I think it also goes for the line of delusion, is that when you start involving yourself in things that are going to harm yourself or harm others, that's when it's crossed a line. So I guess that's what you're trying to figure out, is it harming you in some way.

[16:25]

And that's a big question. How do you determine when you're harming somebody? We were having a discussion one Friday tea about bicycle riders going through the stop sign when no one was watching. And I was having a fit because when I'm riding a bicycle, I try to remember to stop. And if I'm in a car, I feel frantic. And the bicycle rider goes through the thing. And then people here talking about, well, they weren't hurting anybody. There was nobody in the atmosphere. And if the cops weren't there, you doing it to give a ticket because he needed to. So it's like when no one's watching, you're not harming anybody. But I feel a way about it. I mean, if it's all contributing to the life on the planet, then it is harming people all the way through. But how do you know? I mean, how far do you go?

[17:26]

He's not social enough. How do you know that? Yeah, I think it's showing him socially. But I don't know if you know that. I don't really. It's some other delusion or illusion that you know better. I mean, I don't feel that way anymore, that I know whether I'm harming or not harming someone else, or that someone is harming himself. Maybe sometimes one of the reasons why there are precepts and there are prohibitions is that you can't really do it, and we're all so good at convincing ourselves that maybe we're not harming anyone. I agree with that. I think that the older I get, the more I see the wisdom in a lot of things that I used to think were pointless. Like, what does it do inside you to break a social contract, even if no one's looking? And that's what laws are, social contracts. And to cross against the light, maybe it doesn't do any harm, or maybe it's an example to children who don't have the judgment.

[18:28]

or developmentally disabled people who don't have a judgment. Even not literally, again, just the whole thing of trying to keep order. Who's determining what order? It's like the whole thing of, I don't want to get into that now, but the gay ban on the thing. The military, if they don't tell or they do tell, isn't really changing anything. It's such a deep thing. Well, we're lucky in the Sendō. I keep thinking of, there's a story in one of the, I guess the wind bell that was a Suzuki Russian Memorial issue where they took away going to the Zendo, you know, in the early days of San Francisco Zen Center, and, you know, 4.30 in the morning, you would see this troop of people, I mean, nobody else in the street near, in the area where it was. Bush Street. Bush Street, right. And they would all, everybody would be stocked for the red light. You know, you'd see a crowd on the corner waiting for the red light to change green. And, you know, that's just an extension of how we do things

[19:34]

in the zendo and it's nice to be able to do that that way but it's also that's you know that can be clear-cut okay we're following this social contract we're just going to do it because someone suggests and that's like we do things as we do things in the zendo but as far as question of one's own fantasies you know what do you do with them you build something on them or not and when you're responsible for a child, at least you're raising the question. Raising the question is expressing your sense of responsibility, but how you answer it, I don't know. I think it's dangerous for us to have too much reverence for rules simply because they exist. You could say, as I get older I realize the wisdom of rules that I thought had no purpose when I was young, but there are plenty of rules that were strongly enforced.

[20:50]

For example, rules against interracial marriages or intimacy, which I mean, a lot of people had a lot of reference toward those rules. We're abdicating responsibility if we simply adhere to rules because they are in place. The responsibility is to continue, I believe, to look at the rules and evaluate the rules. Not necessarily break them, but I think they need to be constantly considered. Does that include the precepts? Yes, I think so. I think so. to follow the precepts without examining them would I think in some way be not taking responsibility for oneself.

[21:55]

It's kind of like blind faith or something. Well, you're not really following them if you don't know what you're doing. It's the point at which faith is important. Yeah, I said blind faith. Well, I suppose in some way, you know, if you haven't sort of experienced together the truth of something, faith is... you can say it's blind. You're accepting something on faith. Is there more from your group? Well, let's move on since the time is short. Group three. Is there somebody I forgot to ask who'd like to take it? I took some notes, but is there someone else who'd like to take it? No tapers? No. Well, the first thing that came up was a comment about sexuality, misusing sexuality and misusing substances as really being very self-centered, and that

[23:06]

Once again, what came up also was the difficulty of kind of sitting in this muck and trying to decide what's misuse and what's okay. For instance, is it okay to use a glass of wine to relax or is that misusing? We brought up the issue of tea being brought to the monks so they could stay awake to do you know, and the caffeine in this culture and looking at alcohol and tobacco industry and how these substances and sexuality and the misuse of them are really intertwined if we look at alcohol and tobacco industry and how they use sexuality to sell those. Well, we talked about the selling of delusion to kids and that was a good part of it. And Melody brought up that in our society sexuality is so misused and so exploited that it is a little bit difficult to know what's okay.

[24:22]

And we talked about the fact that in Buddhism we realize that we're addicted to the self and you know the things that we do to maintain that self and that it's hard to think about relationships without an attachment or an addiction to them and we couldn't really figure out where relationship would be on the Buddha level that was a really We didn't get very far with that. We kind of all, well, gee, what would it be if there was not attachment? Sexual misconduct being power abuse and actually getting into stealing, which was a precept that we worked with last week. We talked about the importance of not being judgmental or self-righteous. about what other people choose to do.

[25:27]

And intention came up a lot as kind of a guide. And I was actually surprised that we didn't, you know, we got right away onto this subtler level of use and misuse and, you know, didn't really talk about the grosser level of rape being misuse or, you know, getting involved with your best friend's lover or something like that on those really obvious things we didn't even really get into. We just went right away into the subtleties, which there are many. topic, and then quickly moved to sex as a drug, linking these two precepts together, and I'd really like to say, Alan, it's wonderful how you have these grouped, because these two precepts do, as the first two, really link together, and that was, that linkage occurred through our whole discussion, in that we didn't, as last week we went around, talking about one, then the other,

[27:00]

And they kind of naturally linked up. This time we didn't even try that. We just started off and they linked up right away. Just as a matter of process. We talked about sex occupying our thoughts but not necessarily acting out these thoughts. And then we did talk about fantasy later on. which was, and the discussion at that point moved to having fantasies and acting them out, being a different thing. And then we had touched on what it would be like to share these fantasies with a loved one or a spouse. Whether this would diffuse the fantasies, or would it cause harm? And settled on that it depended on the individuals. the level of trust and self-esteem that's going on in a relationship.

[28:04]

We talked about the misuse of sex equal to lack of honesty in relationships. And also mentioned that a man, I might add, in a group mentioned that elevating the orgasm as something to be achieved was mentioned, right? And that it didn't, it was kind of a letdown in that it didn't really fulfill the needs, if I'm speaking correctly to this point. Also, later on, we kind of came back to that point, talking about how women and men are trained differently in this society, and actually have some inherent differences that play on these precepts, as to how we view these precepts.

[29:10]

We talked about how these precepts can be viewed differently in and out of marriage, which was an interesting part of the topic. We talked about hiding sexuality due to being gay. And then I think there were some other topics mentioned too, but being gay specifically was mentioned. And how that was really damaging, having to hide the sexuality. And what a great relief it was to finally be able to come out. We talked about lying. Again, dishonesty with self and how important the act of sex is in... Oh, I know what this is. This is being dishonest. I'm taking these notes pretty fast. Dishonesty with oneself about how important the act of sex is can actually be a denial of intimacy.

[30:21]

We did talk about this topic of intimacy as being what is sometimes, what sex is sometimes mistaken for, and oftentimes, when it's being misused. Did I leave anything out? Or is there something you want to add? I would like to say something in regard to the comment that Bill made about hiding one's sexuality and how that could be misuse of sexuality. It's really amazing. I think that when a lot of people in this wide world would read about a Buddhist precept of don't misuse sexuality, one of the things that would pop into their mind first was, for example, being gay.

[31:28]

would be an example of misusing sexuality. And I think that it's just ironic and paradoxical that hiding one's homosexuality would be felt to someone as misusing sexuality. And the reason why I want just to spotlight this for a second was that I think this is an example of how a rule can turn around to actually not serve its intended purpose. If one were to interpret the rule, don't misuse sexuality, as in a rigid way or in which you would take some thought from some traditional notion of morality and and just sort of like codify it, so that it would end up being abusive or harmful to someone.

[32:38]

Yeah, I see that the codification of these rules, say in the Vinaya, is very, the boundaries are real clear. We're dealing with our lay lives where we come into contact with everybody, where we're living in this very fluid situation. But a monk's life or a nun's life is very clearly defined. you know, that's what they accept when they choose that life. And these rules are designed not for, they're not imposed on the outside society at all. But this is a long discussion. As I may have misspoken, I don't think that was the point that was being made by the person hiding the fact that he was gay. It does make sense in our setting.

[33:42]

It does make sense in our setting. For example, when I first read the Buddhist piece of Don't Misuse Sexuality, one of the things that popped into my mind was, well, does that mean, for example, that being straight is the only way to be a Buddhist? Because I think that would be a very common interpretation of Don't Misuse Sexuality. in addition to don't masturbate. But I've never heard anything like that in any sense. I thought that was one of the things that was so delightful about that it could be a violation of this principle to self-centeredly deny the place of this aspect of our lives.

[34:47]

And I know that reading the story about the hermit, I read it the first time I could. I couldn't get it. It took about five times through before I kind of got it that there was that that notion that it's just as bad to, in some sense, to be that kind of self-centeredly puritanical as it is to do what I was raised to think I was abusing sexuality. A violation of the rules. Well, I think we should stop here, because I still wanted to talk about next week's precess. We have these discussions and things feel I mean, it's a good thing we're sitting on the ground, because it feels like we would be dragged down to it. It's really, it's very difficult and weighty stuff, and I thank everyone for taking part in revealing ourselves.

[35:51]

It's kind of an unusual experiment here, I think. So let's sit for a minute, and then, if you'll excuse me, I'll probably go a few minutes over, but I'll try to be as brief as I can. There are three precepts, the precepts of right speech. I'll read you both Dogen's version and Bodhidharma's version. So precept number four is, I vow to refrain from false speech. And Dogon's commentary is, the Dharma wheel turns from the beginning. There is neither surplus nor lack. The sweet dew saturates all and harvests the truth. And Bodhidharma's version is, self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the inexplicable Dharma, not speaking a single word is called the precept of not lying.

[36:57]

In precept number six, Dogen's version, I vow not to slander or not to use false speech. In Buddha Dharma, go together, appreciate, realize, and actualize together. Do not permit haphazard talk or fault finding. Do not corrupt the way. Bodhidharma says, self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the flawless Dharma, Not expounding upon error is called the precept of not speaking of faults of others. Precept number seven, I vow not to praise self at the expense of others. Every Buddha and every ancestor realizes that he is the same as the limitless sky and as great as the universe. When they realize their true body, there is nothing within or without. When they realize their true body, they are nowhere upon the earth.

[38:05]

I think the Berkeley Zen Center version is a little different. version is, self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the equitable dharma, not dwelling upon I against you is called the precept of not praising yourself while abusing others. So tonight we'll continue our human way of what Mel called in his lecture on Saturday, making mistakes on purpose. uh... and uh... what he meant by that was uh... studying uh... listening, hearing lectures and discussing, making mistakes on purpose uh... discussing considering what really can't be spoken of uh... and it's particularly to the point because these are the precepts of right speech uh... which is an element of uh... the eightfold path

[39:07]

And I find it's also, right speech, as part of the Eightfold Path, the comment by Bodhidharma I like a lot, not speaking a single word is called the precept of not speaking falsely, or not lying. So, I should probably stop right here. But I won't. We actually get encouragement from Dongshan, or Tozan, Ryokai, in the song of the Jewel Mirror Samadhi, which we are chanting here on Saturday mornings now. And this has stayed with me a really long time. The meaning is not in the words, yet it responds to the inquiring impulse. The meaning is not in the words, yet it responds to the inquiring impulse. So we press on with words because they're tools for inquiry, and they're the tools we have, and we need all the help we can get.

[40:14]

But for the moment, you can just keep in mind that I'm telling you nothing but lies, and take it like that. On the three levels, the literal, compassionate, and absolute, I think these three precepts seem a little more straightforward than some of the others. Literally means don't lie, don't discuss the faults of others, and don't use words to set yourself above others. Couldn't really be much plainer. And this is a strict, this forms a kind of strict code for the personal language that we use. Compassionately You could read these as, communicate the truth, see each being as perfect, and maintain modesty, praising the virtues of others. So it's taking those precepts and turning them inside out to put forward a positive side.

[41:16]

in the realm of Buddha mind, Buddha nature, again I think it comes back to what Bodhidharma said, not dwelling upon I against you, or seeing each being as oneself, we dwell in silence and compassion. And this is expressed in the savadhi or concentration of zazen. I think it's expressed each time our kind of wandering, mindful thoughts return to its intention just to sit. This is an expression of this kind of silence and compassion and connection with all people. But I think it's also expressed at meetings. where we just choose to sit and listen rather than score a verbal point or say the thing that we feel we have to say that we might be afraid no one else will say. It's very hard practice, I think, just to sit there and trust that things will get taken care of by the other people in the room or all of you all together.

[42:34]

I think what links these three precepts on all their respective levels goes right back to what we've been talking about all evening, which is relationship. What kind of relationship does truth or lies create between us? And I've raised the same question about fault-finding or pride or judging. And it's also worth asking what comes up when one feels oneself on the receiving end of harsh speech, when you feel that you have been criticized or lied to or lied about. How do we respond when that's the situation? Can we respond to ourself and to the person that we might consider doing, speaking this way, can respond to ourself in that person with compassion.

[43:38]

But I think the bottom line is that whether we affirm things or we deny them, no matter what we do, whether we like them or we don't like them, either way we build some kind of relationship. So it's important to look at the kind of relationship that you're building. But there is a distinction between and among these precepts. The precept of not lying has a very wide scope that goes beyond speech. The Brahma Net Sutra, which is where the Bodhisattva precepts are written down, says a Bodhisattva should always maintain proper speech and proper views. and warns against creating so-called deviant views and deviant karma. Now, according to our social conditions, we might have different ideas on what was deviant or not. But in this sense, lying or false speech suggests the promotion of anything false or delusional in the realm of thoughts, words, or actions, in all of those.

[44:50]

And Dogen reminds us that the dharma wheel turns from the beginning. There is neither surplus nor lack. The sweet dew saturates all and harvests the truth. So when we laugh or we cry or we walk or we run or we're filled with elation, boredom or despair, what he's saying is that the dharma wheel Whatever those things are experiencing, the dharma wheel is turning in truth and completeness. And each experience that we have, whether we like it or not, is perfect and true. And if you can only experience it, the sweetness of this truth pervades everything, even our deepest sorrow. in the realm, coming back to the realm of words, you might think of this as poetry, as true language that points beyond the mundane.

[45:53]

But I also like to think of it as ordinary speech, you know, ordinary speech that is right at the heart of every day. But unfortunately, living in delusion, as we do much of the time, it's hard to accept sometimes the truth of immediate feelings and immediate words. And so I might slip away from a false view. I might slip away into a false view and break the precept. And again, when I was thinking about this and writing this came to mind, which is some lines from Genjo Koan. Which is, when Dharma does not fill your whole body and mind, you think it is already sufficient. You think it's complete. And when Dharma fills your body and mind, you understand that something is missing. We'll read that again.

[46:55]

Some of you know this and some of you know the words. It's from Ginjo Koan. When Dharma does not fill your whole body and mind, When the truth does not fill your whole body and mind, you think it is already sufficient, or you think you know the truth. But when Dharma fills your body and mind, you understand that something is missing, that something's incomplete. And actually there's something wonderful about this incompleteness, you know, it just kind of pushes us on to define the truth. Well, that might be, this is moving in a slightly abstract direction, so let's come back to relationships. Akin Roshi writes that truth, like sex, needs a safe environment. If I speak from my heart, I want to feel that you are listening. The truth is ready to be harvested, but it cannot be heard if I am here and you're out there.

[47:56]

And so that was an interesting point to think about, truth needing a safe environment. But it suggests that some relative quality of truth, that it's also depending, it depends on conditions. If I'm not, but also what I was saying, if I'm not open to you, I may not tell you the truth. And I'll hold something back to protect myself. and to build up this notion of self. And chances are that whether you know this consciously or not, you'll get it. You'll understand that I'm protecting myself, and you'll respond with your own guard up. And that's the way wars start, which quickly move beyond words. And of course, there's also such a thing, which Aiken Roshi touches on in his book, there's such a thing as too much truce, or truce that's used like a street fighter's knife or a club.

[49:07]

And we should understand that if somebody uses the so-called truce on us that way, it's not really true, but it's just kind of perfuming over the smell of our anger with this kind of self-righteousness. It's turning around this notion of expedient means and using expedient means to get under our skin. You might want to consider during the week just how how there could be such a lying kind of truth, and whether you're ever tempted to use it. The sixth Bodhisattva precept of avoiding slander, or not discussing the faults of others, and the seventh, not praising self at the expense of others, they're clearly extensions of each other.

[50:10]

And I actually imagine we'll have a very lively discussion next week, because these are probably the hardest precepts to keep. at least in my experience. Fault finding is very well known around here. It's very well known in Zen practice. But actually I don't think it has anything to do with Zen practice. I think it's just this huge pitfall for everyone. It seems to cut across cultures. And it comes at us in many sizes, big and small, and from many angles. We get annoyed at how someone rings the big bell, or the tone of their voice in a meeting, and we relish the pleasures of gossip. secretly rejoicing in somebody else's misfortune. There's this great word in German for this that is called Schadenfreude, which means taking joy in another's troubles.

[51:19]

The English language is You know, coming from our Puritan ancestors is much too self-righteous to have such a pithy word. But, you know, to have one word that defines it, but still the feeling is well known to us. And actually, even the Buddhas and the saints know about it. and buddhism emphasizes buddhism has its own word that emphasizes the other side uh... on the positive side uh... rather than rejoicing in somebody's misfortune uh... there is uh... the uh... divine abode of sympathetic joy which is uh... known as mudita It's one of the four Brahma-viharas, so it underscores that, and you always feel like wherever something's underscored, you can imagine that somebody had a problem with the other side of it somewhere. But this comes back to fault-finding and praising self at the expense of others.

[52:24]

I have to look at myself, being a fairly critical person, the kind of person who can give myself and other people a hard time, it seems I can find faults very easily. But why do these things bother me? I really don't know. When it happens, I look, but I can never quite see it. But I do think that often in this fault finding there's a wish to see myself as superior to another, which completely shatters this seventh precept. But if you look harder, underneath that suffering, or if I look harder, I can also, underneath that kind of speech, I can also find my own suffering, which tends to be a sense of not quite measuring up myself. of not quite being good enough uh... of not quite being perhaps realized enough or whatever uh... it's the flip side of superiority uh... and i also encourage you in the course of the week to consider how uh... the occasion in which you might fall into similar patterns uh... here at the zendo in the jobs that we have or at work or with your family or friends

[53:51]

And then, having considered that, forgive yourself and just renew your vow not to find fault, not to praise self at the expense of others, and just start again, just like you lose your count in Zazen and start again. Years ago, Mel's advice to me was to let things fall apart, which I think he's probably given that advice to several other people here. I think that's one of the slips that he hands out. And some of you may be surprised to know that I actually try to practice that, and sometimes I can even do it. But at other times, it's right to say something. And it's right to be helpful, but the question is always, how can we do it cleanly? And this returns to the theme of relationship. How can you build up a relationship? How can you say something to somebody to help them, or even to tell them what might be bothering you, but to do it cleanly?

[54:58]

And I came across these guidelines for speech from another sutra, and I think they're really useful. It's, what are the five conditions that must be investigated and established in oneself before admonishing another? And the first one is, do I speak at the right time or not? And second, do I speak of facts or not? Do I speak gently or harshly? Do I speak profitable words or not? And do I speak with a kindly heart or inwardly malicious? And these are standards, these are like questions that you can ask yourself before, you know, if you can catch yourself before you leap into action or leap to respond.

[56:01]

You can ask, is this the right time? Are these the facts? Can I speak gently or harshly? Is what I have to say useful or profitable? And the hardest thing, do I speak with a kindly heart or am I inwardly malicious? And looking for that little kernel stuck away of being malicious sometimes calls for some investigation. I'd like to go back, this is one more point before we close, and this goes back to what I was saying a few minutes ago, and also with Akinroshi's idea of creating a safe environment. Just consider, what does it feel like to have one's faults or mistakes flaunted? How does it feel to be on the other side of that? To be unjustly or justly accused of doing something?

[57:05]

Or to feel oneself cast as inferior to someone else's pride of position? And you can quickly come up with lots of other variants on these questions. But the question is, how can we as bodhisattvas, because that's the path we're on, we're all bodhisattvas, how can we create a safe abode? So actually this is, we're going to consider this this week, but it's It's enough for us to consider for the rest of our lives. And hopefully, we'll be doing that. I actually made up some questions so that you can think of them. And if you don't like these questions, Parallel Express sent me an early manuscript of Thich Nhat Hanh's new book, so if you don't like the questions, you can find something inspiring on the other side.

[58:10]

Thank you all, and see you next week.

[58:12]

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