Good morning. Well, today I'm going to start by telling a story, and it starts a long, long, long, long time ago, far longer than I can tell you, and twice as long as you can tell me. And there was a young prince in China in that old time, and he was too young to be the emperor, but he had a lot of teachers in his palace to teach him writing and swordsmanship and manners. And every day he went into a room with an old wise counselor, who had a great big book. It had brass straps to keep it together. And they would open it and they would study all the rules about how to be a good emperor.

[01:02]

And at night, there was another old wise counselor who would sit by the prince's bed and watch over his dreams. And the way he did that, he held a kite And it had the prince's dreams in it and it floated high up in the sky. And it was a red kite with gold designs on it. And the old gentleman would sit there all night long and hold the prince's dreams. Because it would be a terrible thing if the dreams just floated away with the prince. But one night, because this old counselor was a very old, tired man, he just kind of drifted off. And he let go of the kite string. And it went away. And when they all got up in the morning, the prince wasn't there.

[02:07]

Oh, you can imagine all the running around looking for him all over the place, nowhere in the palace. So a lot of riders got on horses and they went out to the four corners of the kingdom to find the prince. Well, a few days later, one of the riders did find him and he was sitting in, he was in a village. pretty far from the palace, by a river, and he'd still in his PJs, and he was having a good time. He was playing with the children in the street, and he would go visit with the women while they washed their clothes in the river, and he would listen to them talking, and he would sit on the steps of the houses with the men, old men, young and listen to them talk and join in the talk.

[03:09]

So when the rider came to find him, though he was all ready to go back home, so they went back to the palace and Everyone was all so glad to see him, especially the old counselor who had let the kite string go because he was afraid he was going to spend the rest of his life down in a dungeon somewhere. But the prince kindly forgave him. And so the next day, everything was as usual. He went for his lesson and the old counselor opened the big book for the lesson. And then before they started, he stopped. He said, tell me, Prince, did you learn anything when you were away at the village. And the prince said, yes, sir, I did. He said, well, what did you learn?

[04:12]

The prince said, well, I learned that everything in the book is true. But not everything that's true is in the book. And because he had learned that, the prince grew up to be one of the wisest and kindest emperors they had ever had in China. And that's the end of my story. But I want to ask you a question. When I was telling that, did any of you see any pictures in your head? Did you? Can you tell us what it is? What it was? What did you see when I was talking? The kid died away. In his pajamas. In his pajamas. Right. You looked like you saw something.

[05:14]

You were nodding. Did you see something? I saw the kite drift away. And I saw the little prince. Flying with the kite, that would be fun, wouldn't it? Anybody else want to tell me? Yes. Good. Okay. Fine. Well, is there anything else you would like to ask me or tell me about that story? Or anything else? Well, I will just say one more time then, that when the prince came back, what he had learned was that everything is true, that everything in the book is true. But, can you finish it with me?

[06:16]

Not everything that is true is in the book. Okay. Thank you very much. I forgot to ask how this mic is working. Is it okay? Back there? I want to take your hand out from under it, because when you gesture... Oh, and I do gesture. Well, I started to tell stories in schools.

[07:24]

For nine years, I told stories in Solano County schools until, predictably, the funding ran out. And the reason that I began to do that was I thought it would help develop the children's imagination, and what surprised me was to learn that they didn't know how to listen. They had not had that experience of just listening to a story. Well, I hate to be one of these old people who are always saying that the kids are going to the dogs. But everything in the way of entertainment just is handed to the children.

[08:28]

They see so many images and they have so much bombardment of of images and sounds that they don't really, that's why I ask, did you see pictures in your head? I always want to know and they do, they do see that. So, stories give them that chance. I grew up and many of my generation with the radio and Most of you are too young to remember this, but who knows what secrets lurk in the hearts of men? The shadow knows! Well, you know, it's amazing to me how that still packs quite an emotional charge. It was kind of funny and creepy,

[09:30]

then and it still is funny and creepy, but so those so these sounds things that we hear and stories they stay with us very long. So, but we all are living with constant images and and a lot of noxious noise and and that's why I chose today for the talk the theme that I think there should be a ninth noble truth called right listening. And communications and conflict resolution is a very big topic with organizations and in Zen centers these days. And when we recently In the board retreat that we had, someone brought up that the major ingredient in conflict resolution is that the persons involved need to feel that they are being heard.

[10:45]

If you feel you have no voice, if you feel you're not being listened to, you feel disrespected and marginalized. So to be truly listened to, it's been found that it eases resentment in the conflicts. So in our dealings with our personal relationships in our Zen life and work, it is so important that we should practice attentive listening. Now, there is also, I think, harmful listening. Advertising, of course, is everywhere. Too loud music in restaurants and over-amped music it always, you know, when I'm sitting in a stoplight and I can hear this car next to me going, I wonder how they can stand it in there, but apparently.

[11:57]

Anyway, there's nothing much you can do about stores and elevator music, but we we have a right, I think, to protect ourselves as much as we can against noxious sound, because I'm quite hard of hearing, so I feel very much how precious it is to save your ears. And I wonder sometimes why it's necessary to wear earphones all day long and listen to music all day long. And the only answer I can think of is that people don't want to be with their own thoughts. But there are other ways to do that than to hammer yourself on your brain until it's numb, so anyway.

[13:02]

Now, because we need sometimes to be quiet enough so that we can hear our thoughts, because there is a friendly advisor inside. And if we learn to listen to it, often the voice will say, don't do that. or it will say, don't say that, you're going to be sorry. Quite often, though, what that's like is when you close your hand in the door, the action has already started, and by the time you hear the voice saying, don't say that, it's already out there. But... That voice also tells us things that we should do.

[14:08]

If you're continually thinking about someone... You should get in touch with them. And a lot of times they'll say to you, Oh, I've been thinking about you. I've been meaning to call you. There's some kind of cosmic message going on here that it would be a good idea to listen to. And we make so many plans. We try to have so much control that it's just such a practice to try to learn to follow more that voice of wisdom that's within us. Now of course there can sometimes be a voice that leads you astray and

[15:11]

I sometimes ask myself when something's coming up and I get what I think is an answer and sometimes the voice is coming out of fear. For instance, if there's some kind of challenge that's offered to you and the first reaction is, I can't do that, I'm not good enough, I'll make a fool of myself, I'll fail," and so on. That's probably a voice of fear that we should go beyond a bit. And also the kind of thing where, say you feel like, before I die I want to see the pyramids of Yucatan. And then the next thing that comes is, oh, that's too far, it's too expensive. There are snakes in the jungle and bugs.

[16:18]

I don't think I'll go. Well, there again, that's probably the voice of fear. Maybe prudence. You have to sort it out. And then the other side of that, is a kind of ego inflation voice. He says he needs more space, but it can't be over. We're so right for each other, and besides, I love him, so he must love me too. Face it, it's over. So, you know, you can be thinking, is this true guidance I should be listening to? Is it leading me astray?

[17:38]

But I think if you practice with it, if we practice with it, we can learn to tell the difference if we sit with it quietly for a while. When I was thinking about doing this, it reminded me of a wonderful book that I have called The Listening Book, Discovering Your Own Music by W.A. Mathieu. And it's a book for musicians, obviously, but it also has a lot of good points in it about becoming more aware of the sounds that surround us in our daily life. I mean, when I hear what that man listens to, for instance, he says he goes into a restaurant, he just gets entranced by the sound of the glassware tinkling. Well, you know, I never thought of listening to that, but I'm going to.

[18:43]

And of course this is also, this listening quality I think is helpful in the Zendo. Matthew says, tranquility is the precondition for listening. But, of course, that works the other way around, too. Listening creates a calm mind, because when you're listening, when you're really listening, you can't think. You can't be carried away with thoughts. I remember once a sojourn saying to the children at Kidzendo, I think he said, close your eyes and listen to the farthest sound that you can hear. And we could all benefit from that advice because when you open your hearing to that far sound, it creates a very big space in your mind.

[19:49]

And it's sort of to me like in a painting or a drawing, If it weren't for the negative space around, you couldn't see the figures. So the big openness of listening, that's the space, that's the silence from which sounds can come. And to hear a plane go by or a train come go, it's a kind of lesson in impermanence that happens. while you're sitting there and the birds waking up. It's so delicious in Sashin, I think, when your mind has gotten still, just to sit with the sound of the rain or somehow the bell, the sound of the bell, it stays with you, you're listening to the very last vibration

[20:51]

and it just creates its kind of very big space for your mind. And when we chant, the way that we chant is uninflected. It just goes along like a smooth river so that all the ego and opinions are taken out of the words And I find it hard to listen when it's something like the Daishinderani because I'm so kind of absorbed in trying to read and not skip a line or something, I can't really hear. But it's very interesting practice just to take a step back when we're chanting and hear it all as one sound and one big voice, all of us together, all together.

[21:58]

So, Matthew says that the mind and the eyes are very hungry ghosts, he didn't say hungry ghosts, he just said they're very hungry, but the mind and the eyes do eat up a lot of our brain energy and sometimes the ears get left out of it a bit. So, I think it's very rewarding practice to give those to the mind and the eyes a vacation and allow listening to step forward to help us. So, My message, in short, for today is, let's hear it for the ears. Thank you. So, is there anything you'd like to ask or say?

[23:10]

I'd love to hear it. Yes? Well, music is so emotional. I'm a big music fan. Well, as I say, that has not been a sound I ever thought of listening to. I imagine a really good musician would get a tune out of that sound and maybe emotion too. I don't think I have advanced ears enough to feel emotion from glasses to tinkling. But it sounds cold, doesn't it, when you think of it? Yeah, cold. Huh? Yes? I used to know a group of musicians up in Arcata that used to sit on the roof in the evening and listen to the symphony of the freeway. That's what I do. And the other image that came to mind is that when I first got my hearing aids a couple of years ago, I was amazed at how noisy birds were in the Zimbo in the morning.

[24:17]

It actually didn't annoy anything because I hadn't listened to such loud sounds for a long time. I had that experience at Tassajara once. The chikadas at night are very deafening down there in the middle of the summer. I took out my hearing aids. I couldn't hear them. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I put them back in. I took them out. Not a sound. It's amazing. Yes, ma'am? Ma'am, I had a plan. And this is the vision I had when we were talking about the Tantra and the Bodhisattva. She was in Rome and she was visiting a friend who was living, say, ten pounds away from me. And it was a very hot day. And her friend came across the marble pillar holding a glass with just the ice in it. And my friend said it was the most beautiful sound she'd ever heard. And so I mentioned that.

[25:20]

And it's a lovely sound. Thank you for your talk and your story. It seems to me that I heard of an orchestra called I've heard of something called the glass harmonica, which I think is that. Great. Music for the glass harmonica? Yes. a house.

[26:45]

I had this idea I was going to move. And I was looking at a house, it turned out it was too small, but it was awfully cute and I was excited about moving, so I really wanted to like it. And I stood, it was in Richmond Annex, and you could hear the freeway really, really loudly. And I stood out in the wise decision. Yes, Nancy? I like to hear laughter, except there are certain people who laugh and they're unhappy people, deprived people maybe.

[27:52]

I hear that and it's a force. I love to hear really good, hearty laughter. It really feeds me. And then there's another kind that's loud, where people are trying to bring themselves happiness. And I hear all the sorrow in their lives, in certain depressed, socioeconomic venues. And I can tell the difference. Hmm. Anyway. Would you say that unhappy laughter is grasping laughter, and the other kind is letting go laughter? Yeah, I think it would be grasping, but it's trying to allay sadness, I think, and anger.

[29:01]

And sometimes I see that in comedy, too. There are a few people who are unhappy and their laugh is artificial. But they want to laugh because they know it's funny, but they don't feel that it's funny. And even I've experienced that myself, actually. And a little more lately. I never used to have a fake laugh, but sometimes I can do a hearty fake laugh. And I don't know where it came from. Because, I mean, I know what's funny, and I want to, like, say, hey guys, this is funny. Everyone else is laughing. And I hear the difference in myself, too. Anyway. Well, thank you. Thank you, thank you. I really, really enjoyed what you said. It'll go with me for a long time. Thank you so much. Well, I think we should probably stop now. Oh, well, anything else?

[30:10]

We could adjourn early, but yes. So I'm not hearing... I'm sorry, I'll talk louder. Yeah. I like the way you're emphasizing the idea that we can really make entertainment for each other together in smaller ways. When you were talking at the beginning about how entertainment is kind of given electronically and more and more I do think it's really effective rather than thinking, what is the solution to this problem?

[31:32]

How can I get my way? Yes, that's what that's what came up in this that that even if the person didn't really feel that the problem had been solved or justice had been done, that sense of having been listened to kind of eased their resentment. By the way, I meant to say before, and I didn't, but there is going to be a workshop here, I think it's the 23rd of February, on conflict resolution.

[32:38]

That's a Wednesday. Yeah, Hans? and had a child within his period that he never heard. And finally he got some of these cochlear transplants. He was explaining the mechanisms of hearing. We have thousands and thousands of different pitch tones that you can hear on his ears that grow in the cochlea. And he had but he never heard.

[33:51]

But he said, I will never be able to hear music again. And he played what, you know, a symphony, and then he played what it would sound like with the children at 12 frequencies. It was just booze, booze, booze, booze. That was kind of fascinating. I didn't like that much, but now I know why. Yes? Do you have some advice for aging ears and dealing with people with aging and hearing difficulties? You know, I notice that we repeat, my husband and I repeat what we think the other has said, which is so far off, Well, I call that creative hearing, I do it all the time.

[35:06]

Well, my advice, you know, somebody said to me once, I just love this, she said, you're so brave to wear hearing aids. And I said, no, what does that mean? And what she meant was, it's just frankly admitting you're old to wear hearing aids. Well, to be able to hear, not to be able to hear is, it just cuts you off from life. But people do resist it, and I guess that's why they think it's admitting they're old. I just think it would be torture to be in a group if I didn't have my hearing aids. I can hear sort of like one-on-one, but in a party or certainly at a lecture, I would just be out of it. And I just think if you can just persuade people that they're going to enrich their lives so much, because the hearing aids nowadays are very, very good.

[36:15]

They're digital. I asked the person who was fitting me one time now, because mine is hereditary and it gets worse as you get older. is the technology going to keep up with my loss?" And he said, yes, it just changes all the time. So, is the... Well, I also think that it's important to speak up, face the person, not cover your mouth, in any case. They always hear those. But I think that it has forced me to be clearer about what I do want to create. Linda, I just want to say one thing.

[37:21]

The one thing that I find very difficult with a speaker, if they will start out their sentences and then they just drop their voices. So you will never get that important point. So if you're going to be giving a talk, try to make it so that it all comes out. Linda? Well, when you said that you thought that not being able to hear would be a torture and would cut you off from the richness of life. You were making one good point about how silly it is to not want to admit you're getting old. That reminded me of another thing that I thought ought to be said. It was just last week that I heard this special on NPR, multi-part, two or three part, about deaf people and bi-deaf people. I just was listening to it on and off, so I can't tell you the whole thing, but basically we should remember also, they were trying to educate the rest of us about this, that being deaf is also, is a rich life, and has its own culture, and that's been part of the general liberation movements of the world in the last few decades, is to affirm that.

[38:49]

So I just wanted to mention that. Oh, I'm sure that's true. It's a little different for people who have had good hearing and then it gradually sort of declines because they're used to hearing. They haven't had a chance to develop that skills and things that people who've been deaf from birth. Was there one more? Yeah? Okay, well, that's available around here. Yes, let's make this the last one. A couple of weeks ago I was talking with a woman who's 97 years old, she's going on 98, and she's somewhat hard of hearing, and she was talking about the big storm, the big windstorm that we had.

[39:53]

and it unlocked the archives of my mind. And she remembered poems, long poems that she had memorized as a child. And then she recited one for me. And what Sue was saying about how people entertain each other, you know, without being professionals, that's something people did. Oh, yes. Quite concretely, she was not speaking metaphorically. She felt it go in her ear and unlock her memory. How wonderful. Was she outdoors or what? Why was she at the hospital? Oh, you've got to know. OK. Well, thank you very much. Beings are numberless.

[41:01]

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