Today I'm going to return to the subject of harmonization, harmonizing body, breath, and mind and feelings. In the course of Sashin, various tangential themes emerge and then there's the problem of Saturday talk which is a public talk so giving a talk during Sashin is very specific to the people who are attending Sashin And then the problem of how do you make the adjustment from talking to the small group to talking to the large group, which is always an interesting problem, which also brings more tangential themes into it.

[01:22]

And so it's a kind of Problem later in how do you bring all these tangential themes together? To make a kind of comprehensive talk so Especially when each one of them seems interesting And I makes my mind more investigative. But that's where my fun. Today, mainly, I'm going to talk about the harmonizing of body, breath, and mind with feelings.

[02:28]

Then another theme that came up is the theme of not running after enlightenment. What's the goal of practice? So I may be able to get to that as well. But Friday, I talked about the breath, put emphasis on the breath. How breathing with the feelings, breathing with the body, breathing with body, mind and feelings. harmonizes those four elements.

[03:33]

But we can also take any one of those elements and use it in the same way. For instance, knowing how to or paying attention to freeing the body will also calm the breath. It will also calm the mind and also calm the feelings. In Zazen, the main, although we talk about breath, the fundamental subject of concentration is the body. First is posture. Posture is the fundamental element in zazen.

[04:46]

The body is the container. Without the body, there's no breath. and there's no mind and then no feelings. But each one of those elements, of course, is dependent. So all four are totally interdependent. The body is the basis. So in Dzazin, we emphasize posture first. That's why we put so much emphasis on sitting up straight. by working with the body we can control or not control but harmonize the mind and the breath and the feelings

[05:56]

So we're always coming back to posture. You know, we say the mind drifts off. What do we come back to? We come back to posture. We say posture and breathing. But posture is first. When the posture is settled, then we can pay attention to breathing. But to pay attention to breathing before the posture is settled is putting the cart before the horse. Although, there is a truth about putting the cart before the horse, but that's another subject. In this case, it's putting the cart before the horse. First is posture. So, what do we do in our posture?

[07:03]

What do we look for? What do we concentrate on? First, we concentrate on sitting up straight. So, working with our vertebrae. not leaning to the left, not leaning to the right, not leaning forward, and not leaning backward. This is the essence. And the whole of practice is right there. You're not leaning one way or another. You're right in the center. This is the practice of non-duality, the practice of non-partiality, the practice of not being subject to conditions.

[08:12]

It's the unconditioned posture. It's not swayed by anything, not pulled around by anything. It's perfect composure. So that's why it's so important. I used to go around and straighten everybody's posture all the time, years ago. Now, because people are more resistant than they used to be, I don't like struggling with old trees that are gnarled. Some of our conditioning is so strong, so embedded, that I would have to cut you apart in order to rearrange your parts. What we try to do in Zazen is to be as loose as we can.

[09:24]

Really loose. So if I come and adjust your posture, you just do whatever I say or whatever I do. Okay. But when I go to adjust your posture... It's true? Leave me alone. Don't mess with me. I know what I'm doing. This is just like what I was talking about. This is the ground. The ground has to be open and permeable. This is what we call taking care of the ground. Taking care of, when Sukhiyoji is talking about taking care of the ground, this is taking care of the ground.

[10:35]

When you take care of the ground in this way, then it allows the light to shine through. basic nature is enlightenment, nirvana. That's our basic nature. Nirvana is not some special thing. Enlightenment is not some special thing, not a special state of mind. It's simply letting go so that your light can shine through or light can shine through. That's why it's called enlightenment. has to do with light. Einstein, it was a big problem for him. He loved it. What's the meaning of light? What's the basis of light? Same, looking at it from a scientific point of view, but we look at it from an intuitive point of view.

[11:39]

We actually just allow it to shine through. So how do you do that? How do you let enlightenment permeate you just stop obstructing it so I was talking about compression and how we compress ourselves we get tighter and tighter because of conditions, of course anxieties, fears old pressures new pressures stuff that we've... baggage that we've been carrying around forever that compresses us and then nothing can get through so Zazen is to just offer it all up and let go of it Zazen is our offering, that's what it is we just offer ourselves to this

[12:51]

activity and open up, let go, drop it. This is called unconditioning. Decompressing, deconditioning. So that the posture that we take is an unconditioned posture. That means it's not influenced by conditions. So it's the natural posture. Natural posture is just sitting up straight, but it feels unnatural. The reason it feels unnatural when we begin is because we feel that our conditioned postures are natural. It's simply the contrast. So we make this effort to sit up straight and put our limbs into body parts into the zazen position and then we hold everything very lightly.

[14:09]

See this is the combination of total effort and total letting go at the same time. It's called total dynamic effort where nothing is left out. Your little toe is not left out. Everything is involved in zazen. the whole body, mind, feelings, breath. It's all there, working harmoniously. But when the body is held lightly and firmly, with good effort, then it's not a matter of muscular tension, although that's involved.

[15:13]

It's a matter of balance. and a matter of equanimity. So as you work with the posture, you sit up straight. You don't lean to the right or left or forward or backward. You sit up in the center so that all the parts can fall into their proper position without effort. The only effort is in your waist. The rest, you can let your arms fall off if you want to fall off. Let them go. You just hold them in a certain position, but it's a light holding. We have a lot of stuff going on in our head, so we go like this. This is the thinker position. Rodin's thinker, you know, is not Zen.

[16:18]

All the old Zen masters, the new Zen masters, the modern Zen masters used to tell us, Rodin's position is not Zen. So, you know, the mudra is held in really good position, but there's no effort. The thumbs are just very lightly touching. When you find the thumbs pushing against each other, you know, there's tension. Tension is building up in the body. And then when tension starts building up in the body, you become aware, and then let go of that tension. Where is that tension? Let go of the tension. How do you let go of the tension? Well, you just don't nurture it. You don't nurture any kind of tension.

[17:24]

There's tension and then there's tenseness. Tension is necessary for any form to hold its form. Tenseness is what's extra. So, you find the tension that's necessary and let go of the tenseness. And then, where's the tension, where's the tenseness in my legs? You just open, open your legs. Take the doors off. Take the covering off. Because what happens is when we have an intrusion then we whoa so we feel the tension tenseness in our legs is an intrusion pain is an intrusion discomfort is an intrusion and then we put up a barrier and as soon as you put up a barrier it becomes something you create the problem

[18:36]

But if you simply let it pass through without grasping it, it's not a problem. So we sit here creating our own problems. We will have a problem with what we feel is intrusion, but how do we deal with it? Zazen posture is the most extreme posture you can take. Don't move. It's pretzel. And yet, how do you find perfect freedom within that position? That's the koan of Zazen. How do I find perfect freedom within this position without getting caught by anything? Without attachment. So without attachment to the body, without attachment to the feelings.

[19:45]

So here we have feelings. How do we, when we can calm the body, when we can have our perfect composure, I don't like to use the word perfect, when we have good posture, then we have composure of the body. and we have composure of the body, the breath naturally settles to its proper place. The mind may still be running, which it always does, like a torrent, but the body is settled and the breath is settled. breath. So the body settles the breath and also settles the feelings. What are the feelings? The feeling is joy, or the feeling is comfort, or the feeling is pain, or the feeling is dislike, or the feeling is rejection, or the feeling is aversion.

[20:51]

All these feelings come up. So what do we do with feelings when they come up? feelings can be transformed. If we don't attach them, there's a feeling of pain. That's a concept. And then when we say, I have a feeling of pain, because of our conditioning, we immediately say, I don't want it, or I don't like it, or I want something else, or I wish I was at the beach. Why did I come here? But we can transform pain by transforming our mind, our attitude.

[22:15]

Pain is just a feeling. Feeling. And it's not necessary to attach to it. If we know how to open ourself, When we don't open ourself, then we set a boundary. And as soon as we set a boundary, then we can't contain what we have, what's coming. So, to open, open, open. That way, you become boundless. You don't set a boundary. This is how enlightenment shines through.

[23:18]

When you don't set a boundary, the less of a boundary you set, the more open you become. And the less self we have. When we open, let go of our boundaries, we let go of self, because self is what sets the boundaries, the parameters, and makes the distinctions, and creates the aversion and the grasping. So, to be aware of the feelings, in the feelings, means to accept the feeling that's there, not to make it an object, but to identify as, I am this feeling, and then accept the feeling without creating an imaginary idea about what it is.

[24:30]

or what will happen. It's a kind of rocky road, you know, we go in and out of acceptance and aversion. But the more you can accept, the less aversion you get attached to. Sometimes it begins as a narrow road, but after a while it becomes a big, wider road. And we can find true comfort within our feelings. Dogen says, this is the comfortable way. And everybody says, oh, ha ha ha. It is the comfortable way. How do you find the comfort?

[25:37]

How do you get comfortable? Comfort is not, you know, we're always trying to make ourselves comfortable some way or another, but it doesn't work because as we get comfortable, we get more restless. As soon as we get what we want, Then we get restless for something else that we want. So there's no end to trying to find comfort. But this is comfort in satisfaction. Truly to be satisfied. Because you're not eliminating anything. You're not eliminating the pain. You're simply not discriminating. When it's only one thing, then you don't have a problem.

[26:43]

So, we become one with the pain. As soon as you say, I don't like it, then you become two with the pain. As soon as you say, I would rather it be pleasant, then you become two with the pain. So how do you cut the cat in one? Dogen says, if I had been there, I would have cut the cat in one. I would have said, why don't you cut the cat in one? It's only when there's something else that is an alternative that you have a problem. When there's no alternative, it becomes a different kind of problem. So you have to be able to put yourself in the place where there's no alternative.

[27:51]

That's why we have Sashi. We allow ourself to go to that place where there's no alternative. And then it's not a problem. It's only when we long for something else that we have a problem. We have the problem of dealing with the pain even though we don't long for something else. But we can open to what is there because that's what's there. So we say, don't get caught. Don't get caught by anything. Don't get caught means don't get caught by your mind. Don't get caught by your discriminating mind.

[28:58]

So when feelings arise, We just pay attention to the feeling, but we don't obsess the feeling. So, you know, sometimes we get a little pain somewhere, and then the mind goes to that. And then we just kind of can't think about anything else but that. So that's getting caught. You know, the whole body, mind, breath. If you allow it to, we'll balance everything out. Instead of just being obsessed with some feeling, we should pay attention to the rest.

[30:12]

Why get caught by this little feeling when there's all the rest to pay attention to? So this is called balancing out. even though this is happening, because all this is happening too. So, you don't have to become obsessed with some little part, but in Sashin, or in Zazen, because our attention becomes so focused that our beam goes boom, the meter goes boom, boom. But we should pay attention to the whole body-mind complex and not just get caught by one little part. And then that whole body-mind complex comes to the aid, comes to you and helps you.

[31:19]

So to not ignore what we're doing just because there's some dominating feeling. So composure means not to let some feeling dominate. Not to let anything dominate. So how do you not let anything dominate? Well, you simply become one with it. As soon as you run away from it, it chases you. It's like a dog, you know. Dogs are pretty nice, but when you start running, they start chasing you. It's their nature. The dog's chasing me, the dog's chasing me. Well, stand still, and the dog will stop chasing you. So, don't run away.

[32:30]

This is your little companion. The pain in your legs is your companion. Your little brother, your little sister. Be nice to it. Or don't even be nice. Just be with it. Just there. Just something that's there. Just a feeling that's there. If you don't name it, If you don't fantasize about it, it's just a feeling that's there. We call it pain. But that's just an idea. And we buy into that idea. That's conditioning. So to let go of conditioning is to just see a thing as a thing. Just observe.

[33:34]

This feeling has arisen. This feeling is there. This is this feeling. As soon as you name it something and then create a scenario about it, you become conditioned. And then you begin to be bothered by it. So pay attention to the posture, bring your attention back to the posture over and over again. If you really put your effort into posture, then that becomes the subject of your attention. And then into the breath, that becomes the subject of your attention. Then there's the problem of the mind, mental thoughts, mental activity.

[34:45]

In Zazen, the thought is the activity. We say, I'm going to sit Zazen, so we sit down, and then we start thinking about everything else. But Zazen is a subject. to put the attention into posture and breathing and letting go is the non-dual activity of body, breath, mind and feelings. Because the thought is not different from the activity. You're not objectifying your activity. You're not creating a space between, you're not thinking about something.

[35:48]

As soon as you start thinking about something then you create an object that you're thinking about. Then you fall into duality. So to let a thought come up And simply be aware of the thought. The thought that comes up, whatever it is, is now the subject of your attention. It's not good. It's not bad. It's not right. It's not wrong. It's simply this thought. And then another thought comes up. It's not good, bad, right, wrong. It's simply a thought. So if you think, oh, this is a good thought, then you're conditioning the mind. If you think it's a bad thought, you're conditioning the mind.

[36:51]

Simply a thought, and then you can let go of this thought and come back to posture and breathing. The reason why you come back is because this is your task at hand. It's like if you're playing football, you don't stop in the middle of the game and watch TV. If you're driving your car down the road, you don't look at some person that catches your eye. No, you bring your attention back to driving. So it's the same thing. This is what you're doing. You're not doing those other things. They may be good, or you may like them or not like them or whatever, but that's not what you're doing. This is what you're doing. So there's nothing wrong with thinking, simply not what you're doing.

[37:55]

The thought that you have is concentrated on this activity. And anything else is just scenery. We can say distraction, but you have to be careful. It's only distraction if you give it some credence. So we don't think of thoughts as distraction. They're simply the scenery of our mind going by. So we can watch the scenery going by but at the same time we're in the driver's seat And the driving is being in the driver's seat is the most important thing and when you're driving you don't want to have an accident You don't want to get carried off going up the wrong road You want to stay on a highway

[38:59]

So we try not to get lost. So we don't judge thoughts. We don't push them away. And we don't invite them in. We do invite them in. But we don't serve them tea. We don't sustain them. We don't give them some special seat. But we don't criticize our mind. We don't make some judgment. Because as soon as you criticize, make a judgment, you're already falling into duality. So, Zazen is the practice of harmonizing body, mind, breath, and feelings as a non-dualistic act. An unconditioned act. This is the realm of the unconditioned.

[40:07]

This is nirvana with painful legs. When we think about enlightenment, people invariably think about something wonderful. They think about something wonderful. It must be something wonderful. If we think about nirvana, it must be some blissful state. You cannot have the one without the other. You cannot have the pleasure without the pain. Because they're just two sides of one thing. Within pleasure, there's pain. And within pain, there's pleasure. without being attached to pleasure, without being attached to pain, you find middle way.

[41:14]

Middle way is called enlightenment. When there's no attachment to either side, then there's light. The light doesn't have any hindrance. It's just not hindering anything. That's why Enlightenment is not something you get. It's something that you allow to happen. Which brings me to my short story. This is a very famous koan from the Mumonkan which I've talked about before and which most of you probably know already. Nanchuan, Nansen, it's called Nansen, Nanchuan's ordinary mind is the Tao.

[42:25]

Zhao Zhou asked Nanchuan, what is the Tao? What is the way? Nan Chuan said, ordinary mind is the way. Chow Chow asked, should I try to direct myself toward it? Nan Chuan said, if you try to direct yourself, you stumble past it. That's my interpretation. Chow Chow asked, well, how can I know it? if I don't direct myself toward it. Nanchuan said, the Tao is not subject to knowing or not knowing. Knowing is delusion. Not knowing is not being aware, unawareness. If you truly reach the genuine Tao, you will find it as vast and boundless as outer space.

[43:35]

How can this be discussed at the level of knowing and not knowing? With these words, Zhao Zhou had a sudden realization. What was his sudden realization? Questioned by Zhao Zhou, Nanchuan lost no time in showing the smashed tile and the melted ice, where no explanation is possible. Though Zhaozhou had realization, he could confirm it only after another 30 years of practice. And then there's this wonderful verse by Wu Man, He says, spring comes with flowers, autumn comes with the moon, summer with breeze, winter with snow.

[44:39]

When idle concerns don't hang in your mind, that is the best season. This term ordinary has two meanings. Basically, the root meaning of ordinary is something like constant or eternal actually. We tend to think of ordinary as usual. Our ordinary mind or ordinary way as what we always do. normal activity, which is always changing, like our habit patterns.

[45:44]

But that is one meaning, the ordinary, everyday stuff that we do. The other meaning of ordinary is eternal or sustaining or constant. So there's one is called michi, the other is called do. Do is Tao or the way. Michi is more like ordinary activity whereas the Tao is used as in Taoism or Buddhism as means the way, the path of enlightenment. So ordinary mind is the way. So this is the kind of koan. Does he mean usual way or our usual ordinary way or does he mean

[46:47]

way but this is where you don't get caught you get be careful not to get caught there are two sides of one coin so our usual ordinary activity The root of our usual ordinary activity is deep within the Tao. This is why in practice we pay careful attention to everything we do. The root of Soto Zen practice, all this formality, all of the bowing, serving food carefully, bowing, paying attention to all the details. This is awareness of the details of our ordinary so-called life have the quality of the deeper eternal meaning of Tao.

[48:17]

in order to get enlightened you don't eliminate your usual ordinary life activities or think of them as ordinary. Practice is to make us aware that the deeper meaning of the way is right within our ordinary usual activity. that makes our usual ordinary activity nothing special, but very special. Every act can be a sacred act. So what does it mean that we bow to each other? What does it mean that we serve each other?

[49:20]

What does it mean that we're careful the way we walk? Careful the way we pick up our spoon? The way we clean our bowls? Because we're so used to our usual life, our usual conditioned activity, we no longer recognize the unconditioned quality within it. It's like, you know, we're always walking, yet we're always in the same place. We realize that we're walking, always walking, but we don't always realize that we're always in the same place. So I'm hopeless.

[51:06]

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