Give him a little gallery for a gallery. You can do that. Today's lecture, Dharma talk, and presentation is by our senior student, Gary Arnhem.

[01:10]

Gary started practice in 1990 with a candle and the book Being Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh. Slowly, he found his way to Berkeley's End Center through Tassajara, Green Gulch, and City Center. His primary teacher was Soja Noel Weitzman. He was lay ordained in 1997 and served as Shuso in 2022. He has held several practice positions including Genzo, Sushi Director, Head Server, Jiki Do, etc. Special emphasis on etc. He enjoys traveling with his wife Emily, and he also enjoys movies and reading. Gary, thanks for speaking with us today. Thank you, Ross. Thanks for that nice introduction, and thanks to Greg for asking me to do the talk, and Ross. also for asking me. It's funny, I was just looking at the gallery view, and I was looking at this guy in the left corner, and it was me.

[02:15]

I never saw that person. Who is that? OK, anyway, get started here. OK. Well, while I was in Istanbul, every morning there was a call to prayers. And it was kind of a wake-up call to being present. So I brought call to prayers with me. I thought we'd start out with a little call. get it to work. Let's start off with showing Cosmic Mudra.

[04:17]

You see the circle and then the empty space, and then the form of the hands. This is one of our forms. This is a way to see or open to equanimity, which is what my talk's on. It can express oneness and openness to all that comes into your life. Now, I'm far from one who can actualize this continuously, but I'm trying and I think that's the best any of us can do. How do we stand, sit, walk, lie down in the middle of our life? Sojin might say, know where your breath is at all times and breathe in and breathe out of your heart, just below your stomach. He also describes Zazen, seated meditation, as having both an active and passive side. The active side is sitting upright, chin tucked in slightly, not leaning left or right or left, eyes cast downward.

[05:36]

I won't keep going, but I think you get the picture. very active, he encouraged us to keep returning to ourselves, or to keep returning to giving ourselves as an instruction. The passive side is letting go, dropping body and mind, settling into the lap of Buddha, not grasping and not avoiding anything that may come up. It seems these two sides are a model of equanimity, being upright and present to what is or what is occurring and yet not taking sides, not clinging and not avoiding, just present and letting go and being open to not choosing sides. But you say, I still have to make decisions. Can you believe this, me doing a talk on equanimity?

[06:39]

I asked to talk about it thinking I could explore the topic and maybe gain something in doing it, maybe become more economists. That has taken me a long time to learn how to say, I'm not sure I'm saying it right, economists. That's good. That's good? I knew I was hooked before I started. About a week into working on it, I realized how unequanimous I am. Then fear set in and I couldn't see how I was going to say much about the subject. I forwarded on. And I realized that doing a talk on equanimity is asking me to be calm and patient in the process. So how can I be okay with talking about it? I asked myself. even in the midst of not feeling okay. What was it that I feared might happen, that the talk would be terrible and folks would laugh at me?

[07:45]

I would never be asked to do another talk. On and on my mind, on and on my mind or my internal story went. My practice of equanimity became, how can I be okay with whatever happens in this talk? Here I am. Reading more on what others think on the subject, I started to find practice points for my life. A little here and a little there. I saw how I've been and how I've avoided standing in the middle of my life, present reality. I'm a middle child of three, so conflict is a no-no. I hide from group situations for fear of conflicting points of view. But you see me coming and going to group activities like sesheen, mornings, Saturday programs, but still I tried to hide.

[08:46]

The openings I've experienced have been when I've been caught by surprise. I think you'll see some of that in the stories I tell. So in some way, I'm here both to show myself and hide. As Whitman says, Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes. I give myself permission to accept changes as they come, if they are appropriate. As I usually do, I practice my talk with my wife, Emily. The first draft of the talk had a lot of other people's jargon in it. As I kept reading through it, it sounded phony, yet I continued. I was doing non-doing, where I was continuing even though I didn't resonate with it.

[09:49]

Post-radiation treatment, my saliva glands are virtually gone. I have to drink lots of water. I kept drinking water and reciting. My mouth almost froze up. It was so dry. In all, I knew I had to redo the talk and remove all the disingenuous material. So what do I talk about? I'm going to talk a bit about stories that I think capture some of the openness and non-attachment of equanimity that I've had in my life. Later in the talk, I'll speak about Buddhist perspective and ideas on it. Needless to say, out of the four or five Saturday talks I've given, I found this talk to be hardest to penetrate. So, I have to give a definition, sorry. Equanimity is one of the most sublime emotions of Buddhist practice. It is the ground of wisdom and freedom and the protector of compassion and love.

[10:51]

While some may think equanimity is dry neutrality and cool aloofness, Couture equanimity produces a radiance and warmth of being. The Buddha described a mind filled with equanimity as abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, without ill will. The English word equanimity translates into two Pali words used by the Buddha. Each represents a different aspect of equanimity. Upika, the first word, refers to the ease that comes from seeing a bigger picture. Colloquially, in India, the word was sometimes used to mean to see with patience. We might understand this as seeing with understanding. For example, when we know not to take offensive words personally, we are less likely to react to what is said.

[11:55]

Instead, we remain at ease or equanimous. This form of equanimity is sometimes compared to grandmotherly love. The second word often translated as equanimity is, I'm going to butcher this probably, tatramajatata. I'm glad I don't have to say that again for the rest of the talk. A compound referring to all these things, maja means middle, and tata means to stand or to pose. Put together, the word becomes to stand in the middle of all this. As a form of equanimity, being in the middle refers to balance, to remaining centered in the middle of whatever is happening, like this talk. This balance comes from inner strength or stability,

[12:56]

The strong presence of inner calm, well-being, confidence, vitality, or integrity can keep us upright like the ballast keeps a ship upright in a strong wind. As inner strength develops, equanimity follows. Breathe in with acceptance. Breathe out, letting go. Standing can be figurative or symbolic. Hoson's in his room sometimes prone, sometimes upright, and still equanimous. So a story. I recently returned from a trip to a town in Washington, Maine. We rented a barn on the lake. The barn had many bedrooms and we thought that many of our family members would join us. As the planning transpired, only my nephew could make it with his girlfriend.

[13:59]

That was fine. I thought I could accept that. Over time, two couples and a friend said they would come for the day. I thought that would be fine. We just had to plan some dishes for lunch and dinner, so Emily and I did the prep work and were all set for the additional arrivals. We spent some of the day by the lake that afternoon, and did a longish walk. At dinner, all went well with lively conversation. Then the owners of the camp came by. Many of the guests have known each other since childhood. They went to summer camp that the barn was part of. The conversation kept building until I felt uneasy since I was not part of the camp contingent. Finally, I could not take it anymore and went into the back room and laid on the floor. After about 15 minutes, I felt more at peace and came back to the table.

[15:03]

I realized that they had a lot of life they shared. Needless to say, they didn't miss my presence and I joined in. The topic was space camp using high-powered telescopes to view the night sky. This interests me. Anyway, I see this as an example of how equanimity can be found through ordinary methods like lying down or removing yourself from the conversation and then returning. Sometimes just catching a little isolation can bring some peace and help you respond to the situation. Another example of equanimity I experienced in small ways was while I was cooking soy beans at BCC in a pressure cooker for morning meal. You still with me? My jaw's sore.

[16:07]

I had just removed the lid when Sojin, my teacher, came into the kitchen and I was about to spoon some beans into my mouth. He walked over and said, and I said, have a taste, and spooned it into his mouth. In some small way, this was a direct openness and non-attached act. I might call it equanimity. By the way, he liked the beans. Not so long ago, Rob Lyons and I went to visit Pozon at a rehab place in Marin. He was sitting upright in his bed, and on entering his room, immediately asked me to open a yogurt container, and I spoon-fed him the yogurt. This was so immediate and so sudden I felt gratitude and openness to the moment. Another such occurrence happened with Ron Nestor. Hi, Ron. He was there. There he is. Okay, with Ron Nestor.

[17:11]

I would bring him cookies and coffee when I visit the rehab hospital. The first time I did, He immediately started drinking the coffee and eating the cookies. It was so direct and sudden it floored me through feelings of joy and compassion. Pretty beautiful really. I see these three encounters, I see in the three encounters a feeling of compassion, joy, love, gratitude. and being in the present with my teachers, leading to equanimity. I just mention these not to brag, but to see them as little openings to equanimity. I start small. It is said, vow to awaken with all beings, inclusive of yourself. You need to include yourself to really cover all of reality.

[18:14]

Being impartial, calm, peaceful, balanced, fully alive to reality. You can also forget all these slogans and attributes and just turn to your breath and notice your in-breath and out-breath in your body, how it feels. The Theravada school sometimes teaches concentration on loving-kindness, then concentration on compassion, then concentration on sympathetic joy leading to equanimity. Hard work. The Mahayana school, which then falls under, is less concentration-oriented and more practice-oriented. The how. I find the Heart Sutra and its content is a pointer to equanimity. Notice the words. I'm just going to recite the first stanza of the Art Sutra.

[19:18]

Akkotiteshvara bodhisattva, when practicing deeply the prajna-bhāramita, perceived that all five skandhas in their own being are empty and are saved from all suffering. So the five skandhas, which are formed, feeling, perceptions, formations, consciousness, basically yourself, are empty, it's saying. And yet further on it says form is form and emptiness is emptiness. So I just find that that chant that we sing, or we say every period of zazen, or not every period, but every service we do, We chant that, so it's important.

[20:20]

Sojin was seen by some, including me, as being picky. But now I see he was asking us to take practice of letting go to the next level, then the next. It was a teaching of how to accept and not turn away from what's being asked of you. He would say, your cooking was too salty. then another time it needs more tamari or more salt. Or like in Ellen's case, the bells are too loud, then not loud enough. He was working at throwing you off balance and watching to see you regain your balance. To have you wake up to letting go, finding balance equanimity. Sometimes it was just a needed adjustment. I asked Greg, What can you say about equanimity? He said he can only say what Sojin said to him when he asked about it.

[21:21]

Sojin said, it's okay to get thrown off by events in your life. Equanimity is how quickly you recover from those events. Of course, some events are small and easily recoverable, and others take time, patience, Patience being the response or medicine. Maybe I should take a break here. Pema Chodron in the places that scare you also emphasizes this ability to be open to and accept everything without discrimination. A traditional image of equanimity is a banquet in which everyone is invited. Everyone and everything, she says, is on the guest list. She goes on to say, training in equanimity is learning to open the door to all, welcome all beings, invite life to come visit.

[22:32]

Of course, as certain guests arrive, we feel fear and aversion. We allow ourselves to open the door just a crack, if that's all we can presently do, and allow ourselves to shut the door when necessary. Cultivating equanimity is a working process. We can aspire to spend our lives training in the loving kindness and courage it takes to receive whatever appears, sickness, health, poverty, wealth, sorrow, joy. We welcome and get to know them all, being content with what presents itself. I see her combining the three abodes of love, compassion, and sympathetic joy into the fourth, equanimity, and saying, be patient with ourselves. I need to say something about the eight worldly winds, which comes up a lot when you read about equanimity.

[23:37]

They are pairs of opposites. Note the duality of them. They are praise and blame, praise and blame, success and failure, pleasure and pain, fame and disrepute. Becoming attached to or excessively elated with success, praise, fame or pleasure can set up for suffering when the winds of change shift. For example, Success can be wonderful, but it can lead to arrogance. We have more to lose in future challenges. Becoming personally invested in praise can tend towards conceit. Identifying with failure, we may feel incompetent or inadequate. Reacting to pain, we may become discouraged. If we can understand or feel that our sense of inner well-being is independent of the eight winds, we are more likely to remain on an even keel in their midst, more equanimous.

[24:49]

Can this really be done? I think it's hard and takes effort, and that's all you can do. Suzuki Roshi says in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, I quote, Dogen said, to study Buddhism is to study ourselves, to study ourselves is to forget ourselves. When you become attached to a temporal expression of your true nature, it is necessary to talk about Buddhism, or else you will think the temporal expression is it. This particular expression is not it, and yet at the same time it is it. But it is not always so. The very next instance, it is not so. This is not it. So you will realize this fact. It's necessary to study Buddhism. But the purpose of studying Buddhism is to study ourselves and forget ourselves. When we forget ourselves, we actually are our true activity of the big existence or reality itself.

[25:55]

When we realize this fact, there is no problem whatsoever in this world, and we can enjoy our life without feeling any difficulties. The purpose of our practice is to be aware of this fact." I see Suzuki Roshi and Dogen are pointing out to us the enlightened big self, and at the same time giving us a gift of remaining in an open space of a changing self. Equanimous. This is a door to independence of the eight worldly winds. How? There is an ever-changing self that can be let go of. Then there is always a way to stand firm and independent of the eight worldly winds. Also, to talk about equanimity and not say anything about causes and conditions would be to miss a big point. We are all subject to them, causes and conditions.

[27:02]

When you become attached to someone, it's the interaction that you want more of, not the so-called objective person. When someone you dislike comes into your life, it's the causes and conditions, not the person that annoys you. It could be encounters that you had with them, or it could be life events that happen to them that turn you away from them when you are together. All I'm saying is that it's not the person, it's the causes and conditions of our life that come together to influence the relationship. With different set of causes and conditions, our relationship could be totally different. And add to this the grasping of a particular view you have of someone or yourself. This limits our ability to really see each other, see more, see the possibility for change.

[28:06]

Pretty dogmatic so far. Here's a moment. On marriage, after I proposed to my wife and she accepted, there I was, 38 years old, never married, living in San Francisco. I broke out in hives. I was so scared of what I had done. Was this the right thing to do? Would it work out? So many people fail at it. I needed to talk to someone, so I found a therapist and began a process of trying to become clear of my intentions and commitment. Could I be that intimate with her for life? I loved Emily, but could I handle being that close to another person? Did I have what was needed? The therapy helped some, but I needed a way to frame marriage that helped me to see wider than I was seeing. I talked with Emily and we took the view that we would both work on what needed work and play it day by day.

[29:15]

This gave me an ease of mind and perspective. In all, it was equanimity in a life change. seeing from a high place. 30 plus years and we're still finding views from this thing called marriage from atop its peak and valleys along with mountains of joy. Another important point is trying to fit into some idealistic model of what equanimity is. supposed to look like can produce such threats to equanimity as indifference, aloofness, rigidity, and complacency. But when the obstacles are understood and removed, then the resulting equanimity can be the foundation for caring, presence, flexibility, and diligence. It takes time and patience to really see what's happening and what's changing while it's happening.

[30:17]

Don't get stuck. In Dogen's fascicle, The Tenzo Kyokun, it says, a fool sees himself as another, but a wise person sees others as himself. Sharon Salzberg writes, I quote, no one in this world experiences only pleasure and no pain, and no one experiences only gain and no loss. When we open to this truth, we discover that there is no need to hold on to or push away. Rather than trying to control what can never be controlled, we find a sense of security in being able to see what is actually happening. This is allowing for the mystery of things, not judging, but rather cultivating a balance of mind that can receive what is happening, whatever it is. This acceptance is the source of our safety and confidence.

[31:21]

Sometimes we discover that right in the heart of a very difficult time, right in the midst of a painful situation, there is freedom. In those moments, we can realize how much we cannot control. We can learn to let go." I felt what Sharon Salzberg was saying while I worked on the second draft of this talk. After I practiced the talk the first time, I had a hard time getting started again. But as I began, my mind started to jump around from idea to idea. Finally, I stopped and started to slowly read what I had. That opened the material to me and I could relate. relate or join with it, seems a lot like personal relationship, Dharma talk, intimacy.

[32:25]

After changing the font from 10-point to 15-point and reprinting it, it became more alive for me. Really odd. Equanimity is not a thing we acquire. and then we're done, like buying a pair of sunglasses. It's more of a practice, opening to what presents itself to you and standing in the middle of it with openness. We may be only able to open the door to everything and everybody just a crack. It's a practice, like knowing where your breath is or not getting caught by anything. not getting carried away with your inner story, sometimes characterized as not picking and choosing. I go so far as to say that it's more than just you.

[33:29]

It can be you and another person or a group that can manifest equanimity. I have a story fitting for this idea of group equanimity. I was tenzo for a day during our seven-day session last year. I had a pea soup planned for lunch. I was cooking on the third day. I started the soup and found one of the ingredients missing, pea flakes. I had about half of the amount I needed and was starting to feel panic when Susan Marvin came in the kitchen. She asked, as she usually was doing those days, how's it going? I said what was happening and she said, Why don't you use leftover soup from Mary Duryea's? I added the soup, the leftover soup, and it turned out to be the best pea soup I ever made. This is equanimity in action with three people involved.

[34:31]

I think this happens more than we know. Just asking for advice can spur a chain reaction of equanimity. I find another key factor of equanimity is keeping your mind flexible. It can help us deal with chaos, loss, big life changes, all that presents to us. All that life presents to us. It's how we adapt to change, not thinking you're right, curious about others' views. Sometimes it means not acting at all, just staying with the feeling, turning towards the feeling as something arising, not self, not a permanent self. While not knowing, a flexible mind is one that doesn't really know what should happen in the next moment, being interested in what arises.

[35:36]

Bodhidharma's famous interaction with Emperor Wu has some flavor of equanimity. Their famous meeting is recorded in the Blue Cliff Record, a collection of Buddhist koans compiled in 1125. The emperor asked Bodhidharma to tell him how much merit he had gained through his generous donations to constructing monasteries and ordained monks. The exchange went like this. The emperor asked, how do I understand the merit I have accrued in building temples and making donations to monks? There is no merit, Bodhidharma replied. The emperor was confused because he understood karma to mean good begets good, evil begets evil. But Bodhidharma knew His intentions were not altruistic.

[36:47]

The emperor made donations to improve karma and boost his ego. The emperor asked, if there is no merit, then what is the essence of Buddhism? Bodhidharma said, empty, nothing holy. Shocked, the emperor asked, who addresses me thus? And Bodhidharma replied, I don't know. It's an old Zen story everyone has heard before, but I think it's a message. Its message is bold and economist. It contains a lot of Zen teaching with a modicum of words. Bodhidharma is asking the emperor to let go of expectations, let go of self, let go of conceptualization. Sojin articulated in his book, Seeing One Thing Through, at the time when we were in the midst of COVID and he was sitting in the Dokusan hut in the morning and a work crew started pounding away.

[37:58]

This is from Sojin's writing, and I quote, My first thought was, how do I save myself? Should I get up or not? But I just sat there and it was a little bit annoying. If I didn't like it, It was annoying. If I didn't care whether I liked it or not, it was a lot easier. Not that I liked it, but instead of trying to escape from it, I was able to go right into it. This is how we find freedom, equanimity. There is no escape. The only escape is to be one with something. As long as we are involved in our dualistic thinking, there is no escape. The only escape is to be one with everything. So I didn't try to be a hero. It's just that I found myself not worrying about it. Even though it was pounding in my head, I just didn't worry about it.

[38:59]

And so I thought, this is what I'm going to talk about today. How to find our freedom within an impossible situation. Sojin is describing the inner steps to being a quantumist, steps to really opening to reality. So, I did cover a lot, I think, and I hope you caught some of it. I list here some of the points that I think are important to capture. One is the no-self, or letting go, revolving, self-changing all the time. It's good to remember that that's always occurring. And not being over idealistic is the second point. It's a process. Never forget where your breath is.

[40:00]

Keep a flexible mind and try to respond and not react. Consider causes and conditions. and don't get caught by anything. So I'll close with this poem that my wife and I argued about, and it may come up in a question and answer. It's by Emily Dickinson. That love is all there is, is all we know of love. It is enough. The freight should be proportional to the groove. I'll say it one more time. That love is all there is, is all we know of love. It is enough. The freight should be proportional to the groove. So that's all I have. Thank you for listening.

[41:04]

If you have a question or a comment, please raise your hand in the Zendo and a digital hand online. In the Zendo, Yoni will pass around the mic so those online can hear you. Yes. Thank you, Gary. Let's see, I have a couple thoughts. One is, you gave a talk on emptiness about two years ago, maybe? And I was wondering, was that really easier than this one? It was. Because, you know, I think, do you want to ask the other one or no? I do. I found this was, that I was,

[42:11]

imposter giving a talk on equanimity. And so I didn't feel, and you might have noticed it because I read most of it because I was insecure about how equanimous I really am. You know, I'm still learning how to do that. And, you know, post cancer, it shook me too much. It shook me a lot. And so But that, you know, with emptiness, I felt like I could embrace that. With equanimity, I couldn't feel, you know, it really took till I stopped and reread everything I had and started pulling things out that, you know, because it was like 17 pages long. You guys would have been asleep by the time I finished. Okay, I'm going to ask another question.

[43:13]

Okay. So are you, I mean, you know, you said part of the reason you wanted to do this is so you would be, you know, find a way to understand or be more equanimous. And I just wonder if that had worked. Had worked? A little bit. I am finding, you know, like stopping and noticing my breath and taking deep breaths when I feel nervous has helped. So in some ways, yeah, it has. Thank you. You know, it's perfectly obvious that, perfectly obvious to me, that Emily's poem, you've achieved it. Your talk was exactly about your

[44:13]

What is it? All we know of love. I'm sorry, what was it? All of love? All you know of love. Yes. All you know of equanimity was totally appropriate to, what is it, the groove? Yeah, you're in that groove. You delivered it. The freight. Totally consonant with that. Thank you. Beautiful compliment. The freight should be proportional to the groove. You know, freight sometimes means like the I looked up freight, and freight can mean, you know, like something you put in, you know, an object you put in, say a railroad car, you know, because Emily Douglas lived in the time when railroad was much bigger.

[45:32]

But it can also mean the, I don't know how to say it, the difficulty kind of is proportional to the groove and that doesn't work. It's almost like the freight is love and is proportional to the groove and the groove is the difficulty or the issue. So you're portioning out a size of the glove you give. I had another ending, and I decided at the end to do the poem because I felt like I didn't stir you guys enough to have a lot of questions, and I knew the poem could cause questions. I don't know if you want to hear the other ending?

[46:37]

Okay. The other ending is Master Tozan. The blue mountain is the father of the white cloud. The white cloud is the son of the blue mountain. All day long they depend on each other without depending on each other. The white cloud is always the white cloud and the blue mountain is always the blue mountain. And you can substitute teacher, disciple, husband and wife with that. And this is also in the, This quote is in the Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, but I found that that's kind of like you're staying upright even though you're interdependent with this other individual or other situation. So it's kind of equanimous. Emily does better. Pardon me?

[47:38]

Emily does better at it. As far as your talk's concerned. Oh, okay. Okay. I'll remember that if I do it again sometime. Thank you. Go ahead, Carol. Oh, Peter first and then Carol. Thank you for your talk. Sure. Thank you. I kept wondering why it was so hard to be equanimous. And I found myself asking the question, what's the near enemy of equanimity? What is it that's... Anxiety. Anxiety? Well, I think it's more like reaching out to touch something. In my case, my particular case, it's almost like reaching out to touch something so that I can feel like I'm balanced instead of just finding my balance, which I think is what you're suggesting.

[48:49]

It's not depending on something we perceive as solid. And anyway, I just thought I'd bring that up and ask you if you had any response. Thank you for the question. I think the near enemy is thinking I'm separate, that it would be okay to fail, it would be okay that whatever happens, that's the near enemy for me, is that just being myself. And I experience it every once in a while. In this situation, I experience it off and on, but not all the time.

[49:53]

And I guess nobody really does all the time. Maybe that's one of your enemies, which is all the time. Thank you. Aaron? Thank you for your talk, Perry. I think we all probably have a ways to go with equanimity. Could you share, do you have particular areas that are challenging for you with regards to gaining your equanimity? For sure. Well, what I mentioned to Peter is like feeling separate, you know, not feeling I can show myself. I can be totally honest. So if you can't, then that sort of goes off balance.

[50:57]

It does. It makes me nervous. I'm scared of dying. You know, not knowing what's going to happen next. Those are near enemies to me. Yeah, I think I'll stick with those for now. There's more. Those are good. OK. Do you want to take one more? Is there anyone online? Nobody online is raising their hand. Is there one more? Oh, yeah, go ahead. Ed. Thanks, Gary.

[52:01]

Sure, very much. Thank you. What's the difference between equanimity and compassion? Well, I see compassion as contained within equanimity, and it kind of is the container where compassion is within, and it kind of watches over that you don't over-emote, over-emote. I want to say over-care, but I don't think you can over-care. It keeps the joy and the love and the compassion contained, kind of the monitor in a way.

[53:06]

I think of it that way, but you know, it can be thought of other ways too I'm sure does anybody else have what do you think Ed um I'm not sure yeah to be quite honest I um I was just thinking about it and um I associated with them being very similar but I suppose they're different and um I don't know exactly. How are they similar for you? I think that connection comes forward for me.

[54:11]

even though sometimes I have to think about it, or I have to take a minute to breathe. And then compassion comes forward. And equanimity sounds like more of a state of mind, I guess. And to me, compassion is can leave it there thank you Passable, I vow.

[55:25]

Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them. Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them. Good morning, and once again, welcome to Berkley Zen Center.

[58:01]

If you have any questions about practice here at BCC, please speak with today's Zazen instructor, Preston Evers. A few announcements for the week. On Monday morning, Susan Marvin will give away Seeking Mind Talk over Zoom at 8 a.m. And on Monday evening, BCC will start a new reading group. The group will begin with Lian Schutt's book, Home is Here, Practicing Anti-Racism with the Engaged Eightfold Path. Meetings will be held on the third Monday of the month from 6.45 to 7.45 in the community room and on Zoom. For more information, email Sonja Thames. Her email is sonja.thames at berkeleyzencenter.org. Our Aspects of Practice class, Ordinary Bodhisattvas, will continue this Thursday evening at 7.15 p.m. Last week, Linda and Greg led a discussion on loving kindness. And this week, we'll look at compassion. Compassion.

[59:04]

Please feel free to join even if you didn't attend the first class. You can join in person in the Zendo or over Zoom. Thursday at 7.15. On Friday at 5.40 PM, Linda and Greg will offer a Zazen instruction refresher. This will take place here in the Zendo and also be available online. and we'll take the place of our usual 5.40 p.m. Friday evening sit. All are welcome to join. Next Saturday, BCC will hold our annual Sajiki ceremony. This is feeding the hungry ghosts. We'll have a shortened Saturday program, so there's no breakfast, but a work period will start at 7.45 a.m. to set up decorations and the altar for the ceremony. And a period of zazen will begin at 9.40. and then Greg and Linda will give a short Dharma talk before we have the ceremony outside in the courtyard. The occasion is great for children, so if there are kids in your life, please bring them along. And in conjunction with Halloween, everyone is encouraged to wear a costume.

[60:06]

Some recurring announcements. The Wednesday night drop-in group meets from 7, 10 to 9 p.m. The group particularly welcomes newcomers to Zen practice. For more information, contact Jerry Oliva, All the emails are in the chat for links for recurring activities if you're online. And BZC has a queer Dharma group that meets in the community room on the second and fourth Mondays of the month from 7 to 8, 15 p.m. The group welcomes those who identify as LGBTQ+, and also those who may be questioning and exploring their relationship to these aspects of identity. Contact Haxbaker, who's here in the Zendo, or Pauline Kirshen for more information. Now, if I can get two volunteers, we're gonna have informal tea and refreshments outside. If I can get two volunteers who have time to stay afterwards and help wash up the teacups. I got one. One more. And two, so two, thank you.

[61:15]

For those in the Zendo, When you're leaving, please maintain silence until you're off the steps and then feel free to socialize. And those of you who are online, please feel free to unmute and greet one another. Thank you. Good night, everybody. Hi, everybody. Hi. Good morning, Sandra. It's good to see you all. Good to see you. Take care. Take care. Have a good day. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

[62:15]

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